If I Had It All to Do Again...

[4evermore]

I transitioned nearly eight years ago. Well, more accurately, I started my transition a little less than eight years ago. I'm pretty sure I'll never stop transitioning, because I keep coming on things that I'd been socialized female for, most recently, body changes as one ages

Comments

[shane_mayhem]

Thank you so much for posting this. I'm going through a weird second wind of body dysphoria, and it helps to read some words of wisdom from someone who's been doing this a bit longer than I have!

[4evermore]

So much dysphoria, so little time! Seriously, hang in there. You're making progress...

[10101110]

Yes thank you for sharing. Guys like me who are just starting out are kind of, well lost even though the internet has a ton of FtM related answers. I tend to fall into the trap of comparing myself to guys on T like 10+ years even though I am pre-everything. I know it's stupid but reading your list reminded me that reading that stuff only makes me feel well more dysphoric.

[4evermore]

It may feel stupid, but it's really completely normal. Transitioning is a strange experience for most of us. We can't help but make comparisons. I just think we need to forgive ourselves when we do...

[10101110]

I hear you, I know logically how can I pre-everything compare myself with guys who are post medical and social transition, but that doesn't stop me from torturing myself.

[aaskew]

haha, I compare myself to guys who have only been on T as long as I have, and it still makes me dysphoric. >_>

[flcadam]

Interesting post. I sometimes forget I'm going on 7 or 8 years. It depends on what point I count as transitioning, when I started the therapy or when I started the hormones.

My addition to number 5 on the list would be not to measure myself up to other people's surgery results. I found that though my surgery didn't come out the way I anticipated (I'm still putting off a revision), I really stopped even caring after awhile.

Nice list.

[4evermore]

Yeah, totally agreed. I have a chest that's far from perfect, but it's so much better than having what I used to have that I'm really okay with it. I had a double mastectomy with Dr. Fischer on Halloween 2007.

[murdercake]

#2 was a big factor for me personally and a lesson I learned the hard way.

I really needed to read this today. Thank you.

[ricogervasi_90]

My personal addition to #5: don't think that something will "just never happen to you" and dismiss it as something you don't need to worry about. Be aware of risks. Don't believe people who tell you there will never be complications with X or Z thing, instead try to find ALL the possible complications so that you know how you will deal with them in advance.

Also #6: Don't assume that just because someone claims to be an ally/LGBTQ* friendly and/or because someone is gay/bi/queer, they're going to accept you. Especially not your family.

[aaskew]

to add on to #6 - and vice versa. Sometimes the people you are sure will definitely never accept you - like extremely religious conservatives - might turn out to be the most understanding and supportive in the end.