Comments | ftm: Major breakthrough with my mom.

pax_morgana in ftm

Major breakthrough with my mom.

Dec 16, 2010 00:52

After a fight with my father, my mom took me out for a drive, just the two of us, and we started to talk about things. Various things. Eventually, the topic turned to me being trans, and I got up the courage (after several years) to tell her that I wanted to change my name. I beat around the bush a whole bunch and she told me the story of how I got ( Read more... )

identity, family, names

Comments 26

recordplayeron December 16 2010, 06:21:44 UTC

Glad things are going well, but you're probably going to get some criticism for not following community rules about milestone posts. You may want to read the following and make the appropriate edits.

The community profile says: One word about "milestone" posts: Posts dealing with the day-to-day experience of being FTM and moving through this society as such are of course always on-topic and always relevant. Accounts of coming out, going to therapists or doctors, getting names/IDs changed, surgery experiences, etc., can prove to be extremely useful for other members and can provide an opportunity for members to receive support, advice, and congratulations from people who understand the importance of such events. However, in order to help keep the board on-topic and navigable as a resource for others, we ask that posts announcing transition milestones or detailing personal (non-transition) happenings be accompanied by some form of engagement with the community--a question, an account of how/why/what to do or not do, or something ( ... )

pax_morgana December 16 2010, 06:41:45 UTC

Oh, damn. I'm sorry. I didn't even think. I was just so excited and I had to share with someone. This comm was the only place I could think of to share it. God, I feel like an idiot now. Jeez.

(The comment has been removed)

pax_morgana December 16 2010, 06:45:03 UTC

Just did, actually. I'm still really sorry.

industrialdoom December 16 2010, 06:25:08 UTC

That's great. This post totally made me smile. I'm so glad you have that in your life. Congrats. :)

pax_morgana December 16 2010, 06:45:35 UTC

Thanks so much! Glad it made you smile. That makes me feel even more awesome. :3

ragetti_wench December 16 2010, 06:27:46 UTC

This post seriously just made my day. ^_^ Congrats! Here's hoping things go well for you and yours!

pax_morgana December 16 2010, 06:46:55 UTC

Thank you! I'm feeling really optimistic about my mom. My dad has rejected the idea of me being trans completely, but my mom is trying.

lanette17 December 16 2010, 07:04:29 UTC

That's so awesome!

To answer your question - yes, actually, just recently! My Grandfather (who a Baptist minister and very opinionated and stubborn) sent me a Christmas card addressed to the correct name this year (he only learned of the name change this past Summer). I talked to my mom about it - told her I was surprised and thought he had an issue with it. She said, "he does, but he doesn't want to take it out on you." haha... good enough for me!

pax_morgana December 16 2010, 07:06:46 UTC

That's fantastic! It's good to hear that your grandfather respects you enough not only to use your proper name, but to keep his disapproval personal and separate from his relationship with you. (Does that make sense?)

Mod Hallo xxweaponx December 16 2010, 07:27:08 UTC

Thanks for the edit, and thanks everyone else for reminding eachother so we don't have to!

Congrats, OP. Glad your mom is trying. Your dad may end up coming around, too.

Re: Mod Hallo pax_morgana December 16 2010, 15:28:16 UTC

Thanks. I don't think my dad will come 'round, but I'm okay with that. We're not really close anyhow, and he's lost my respect in a lot of ways. My mom's acceptance is what's important to me, since we're super-close.

Re: Mod Hallo xxweaponx December 17 2010, 00:37:37 UTC

Don't know if you've ever read my story on here, but the short version is my parents were douches about my transition and i held it back for a few years bc of their hostility. I already didn't get along with them, left home at 16, etc. When I finally took the medical steps I didn't talk to them a long time. When we started talking again, my dad, who I had no relationship w/ previously and I became cool with each other. Had I not transitioned, this never would've happened. He's dead now, and if I hadn't transitioned we wouldn't have had several years of being decent to each other. So you never know what will happen. I'm also cool with my mom, the same person who said "I can never accept this!"

Re: Mod Hallo pax_morgana December 17 2010, 01:27:05 UTC

That's pretty inspiring, and I'm glad to hear that you repaired your relationship with your parents. Unfortunately, I know my father a little too well. He's not mature enough to accept me -- he can't even accept himself (he's gay). Not to mention, he was raised to think that "sex changes" were unnatural, and that people who got them were the lowest of the low. He doesn't even like me that much.

Thread 5