Hey all, just joined the community. I'm a pre surgery 23 ftm. I've been out to my friends for about 6months. Family doesnt know but will eventually
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I don't know many people who were required to go full-time just to get on T. A lot of people can't, if they just can't pass as a cisgender guy before starting hormones. I'd been full time for three years before starting T, but that was because I couldn't afford T for a long time, and didn't want to put off transition. I was lucky to be in a really queer college at the time though, many people couldn't do that
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The year of RLE is a throwback to prior versions of the HBIGDA-SOC (Harry Benjamin International Gender Dysphoria Assoc 'Standards of Care for Gender Identity Disorders" http://www.hbigda.org/soc.htm)
The old SOCs had a requirement for a years of RLE and a years worth of therapy... that has since (in version 6) been changed to EITHER 3 months of RLE OR psychotherapy of a duration to be determined to the therapist, but often 3 months. However, they also specifically state that since a RLE can be dangerous for FTMs who don't pass well because of their chests, that top surgery can be warranted and allowed before any treatment. It also specifically says that it is acceptable to treat transgender people who don't meet the requirements/readiness criteria in a harm reduction manner
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I think there's also an added safety to using the men's room, even if you don't pass, because lines in the women's room tend to be so long. I have a couple of female friends who are just too impatient most of the time to use their own bathroom. I have a round face and embarassingly fluffy hair and use the men's nearly all the time, and I've never gotten any shit.
That's why I used men's bathrooms in Europe -- honestly, it was ridiculous because there'd be a line of 20 women in the women's bathroom and no men at all in the men's room.
That living as a man for a year stuff doesn't make all that much sense if you really think about it in the sense that it's one of those things that's really hard to prove so therapists and clinics don't follow it to a tee. I've heard of some people changing their name before they pass, other's waiting until years after they've started T and had surgery, it just depends on you. People can call you by your chosen name without you having to legally change it. The bathroom issue isn't an issue once you pass. Before then, just keep using the women's room if that's where you feel comfortable. Although, I've heard plenty of guys say that dudes don't care at all if someone that they read as female is in "their" bathroom. Men's bathrooms aren't really a "safe space" for them the way that women's bathrooms are. Just do whatever feels safe. A few months ago I had a woman freak out on me for being in the women's room when I was dressed in business attire so I decided not to use the women's room anymore if I was dressed that way. If women
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You can change your name at any time you would like.
You should use whatever bathroom you want but be aware that if you look male and are in the womens room it could cause some problems.
Ace bandages can cause health problems.
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The old SOCs had a requirement for a years of RLE and a years worth of therapy... that has since (in version 6) been changed to EITHER 3 months of RLE OR psychotherapy of a duration to be determined to the therapist, but often 3 months. However, they also specifically state that since a RLE can be dangerous for FTMs who don't pass well because of their chests, that top surgery can be warranted and allowed before any treatment. It also specifically says that it is acceptable to treat transgender people who don't meet the requirements/readiness criteria in a harm reduction manner ( ... )
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