If I'm the Secret, Does That Make You the Agent? [1/2].
[If I'm the secret, does that make you the agent?]
Jared/Jensen. NC-17. 13,000 words.
Warning: spy!au, car chases, guns, hot nerdy boys?
Disclaimer: No harm intended. The wonderfully awesome tv show Chuck belongs to NBC, Chris Fedak and Josh Schwartz (♥). Jensen and Jared obviously belong to themselves, or each other. This remains unclear.
Summary: Jared works at the BuyMore. It used to be pretty boring. Now? He has to defend the country from assassins, terrorists, and shoplifters. And it's all Jensen Ackles' fault.
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A/N 1: Special thanks to jedi_hand_porn for practically commanding me to write this, otherwise you would! I just couldn't have that you know? And thanks to VAL ♥♥ rawkin_ur_sox for reading this over and telling me it didn't suck. ILU!
A/N 2: If you've seen Chuck before, heh, I kinda stole a lot of the dialogue and most of the plot. So you know. *hides* I just really wanted to see J2 in this situation. Anyways, I hope it's still enjoyable!
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The sound of heavy gunfire echoed in the near distance as he led his squadron through the charred remains of fallen buildings.
“Scope the area. Anything moves shoot it dead.” He said into his headset, hearing his squad’s various approvals through the walkie.
Holding his rifle out in front of his body, he inched around the corner of a mostly in tact wall and checked for the all clear.
No enemy in sight.
“Alright, seems clear. Mayhem, cover me just in case.”
“Got it boss.”
Easing up slightly, he moved freely into the open, signaling the rest of his men to do the same. Suddenly, a piercing scream shattered through the calm and rapid thunderous gunfire began raining down from above.
He was quick to lift his rifle and grip the trigger, but not quick enough.
Everything went red.
GAME OVER.
Sighing heavily, Jared tossed his X-Box controller onto his desk and leaned back into his awesomely back supportive chair. 30 percent off at Office Depot. Best investment in a piece of furniture he ever made.
“Dude,” he said into his X-box live headset, “You were supposed to have my back. What gives?”
Eyebrow arched he waited for a response, but all he got was dead air.
Fuckin’ Chad.
Staring ahead at the TV, the flashing ‘game over’ doing nothing but taunting him, he pushed up out of his chair and turned off the television. Feeling stupid for still having the headset on, he quickly untangled it from his hair and placed it on the desk before turning and collapsing head first onto his bed.
25 and the highlight of his night was playing X-Box live alone in his dark bedroom with some kids from Korea, and Chad, who ditched him and left him for dead. He wondered if it was even more pathetic that he got ditched over the Internet and was actually kind of pissed about it.
Whatever.
Groaning he turned over so he was looking up at the ceiling, one conversed foot hanging off the edge of his too small bed.
It wasn’t long before his infinite boredom lulled him to sleep before 8 o’clock on a Friday night.
---
He was gorgeous. Green eyes sharp and smoldering with a dark passion; full of a mystery that only made Jared want him more. His hair was golden underneath the glow of the setting sun. His lips sensuous and full, Jared’s entire being ached to kiss them. Ached to know what he tasted like. His lips, his skin, every inch of him.
‘Jared,’ purred the man. The rough rumble of his voice a caress around the shape of his name, ‘Jared.’
The man was close now, and Jared could make out all the freckles across the bridge of his nose. His lips caught around the shell of Jared’s ear, beautiful mouth open to speak, ‘Beep. Beep. Beep. BEEEEEEEEEEEEEP!’
Eyes snapping open, Jared rolled off the bed, a tangle of sheets wrapped around his long legs. He reached a hand up, groping around on the bedside table, needing to kill his alarm clock.
Goddamn! Every fucking time that dream ended the same! It was like his own mind wanted to cock block him. Really, it was like the epitome of all things lame.
He managed to untangle his limbs and climb up from the floor several minutes later. He padded slowly down the hall to the bathroom, scratching low on his belly and yawning big. Priding himself in having a killer morning autopilot he reached out and turned on the shower, simultaneously kicking off his Marvin the Martian boxers.
The steam of the shower slowly but surely eased him out of his morning haze and in no time he was singing Journey’s ‘Don’t Stop Believing’ into his shampoo bottle, killer faux hawk held up by the suds of his lavender herbal essences.
Clean and smelling fresh like an Irish spring, he knotted a towel around his hips. Stopping to push his wet hair off his forehead, he winked at himself in the mirror, “Lookin’ good Padalecki.”
Next stop was the closet.
Pressed short sleeve white shirt, clip on grey skinny tie, black khakis, converse high tops, wrist-cuff watch.
Jared glanced over at his collector’s edition Darth Vader digital clock -still in the box and fully operational thanks very much- 8:10 AM, it read. Fuck. He was running late.
Getting dressed with speed, he traveled to the mirror and quickly combed his fingers through his hair. Grabbing a pop-tart and his keys off the counter, he locked up his shitty first floor apartment and made his way out to the company car parked on the street before speeding off to work.
---
Walking through the automatic doors of the BuyMore, Jared clipped his nametag onto his shirt pocket. ‘Jared Padalecki’ it read in official looking times new roman, ‘Nerd Herd Management’ was the title attached to his name and picture.
BuyMore: When you buy more, you get more.
Making his way to his station in the center of the electronics conglomerate, Jared took his seat behind his little island of authority. He couldn’t say he was happy installing Norton anti-viruses and helping the technologically illiterate program their iPhones, but it’s what paid the bills. He couldn’t really complain because the perks of working at the BuyMore totally outweighed the 12-dollar an hour salary.
For instance he had his own staff of guys far more pathetic than he that Jared could boss around. Also the after hours Herders versus Sales Guitar Hero tournaments always turned into quite the shindig.
“You’ll never believe what happened to me last night!”
“Your Mom made her famous pizza bagels and you momentarily blacked out in foodgasm?” Jared answered, booting up the computer system and swiveling around in his chair. He arched an unamused eyebrow over at Chad who had hopped up and planted his ass on the Nerd Herd desk.
“Uh, no. But good guess,” Chad reached out and started fiddling with a stapler, “My cousin Larry, you know the one with the sweet ass Toyota Yaris? Dude, he fucking took me to a strip club last night man! With actual girls!”
Chad finished excitedly, stapling the air to emphasize the awesomeness of being within ten feet of scantily clad women.
Sometimes, Jared couldn’t figure out if working with his best friend was a job perk, or was just really fucking annoying.
“So, that’s why you left me, Jing-ho, and Sketch to die in the hands of enemy combatants?”
“Girls, dude. Snatch practically right in my face!”
Jared scrunched up his nose, “Don’t say snatch man.”
“Whatever, if you weren’t so into dick, you would understand why I ditched. Jing-ho and Sketch forgave me man, why can’t you?”
“Jing-ho doesn’t speak English, and I’m pretty sure Sketch is your ninth grade girlfriend who turned lesbian the summer after you broke up.”
Chad dropped the stapler and waved his hand in the air, “Eh, that’s just the fine print details,” he jumped down off the desk, “Look I’ll make it up to you man. I’ll order you a large pizza with extra olives, make sure that kid you’ve got a hard on for delivers it and then we can get the team together and finally beat the shit out of the next level on WoW.”
Jared rolled his eyes and couldn’t help but smile at his retard of a friend. He may be sketchy, and squinty eyed, and horribly needy, but he was loyal and pretty much the best friend he’d ever had. Besides, it wasn’t like being ditched over X-box live was the worst thing Chad could do. Jared had pretty much forgiven him already, but he was totally game for the free pizza.
“Isn’t there someone you can be selling a microwave to?”
“Pfft, where the fuck have you been Padalecki? I’m on audio/video rotation this week.” Chad beamed proudly.
“Work. Go. Now.”
“Aye Aye Cap’n.”
---
Jared unclipped his tie as he grabbed the last bottle of Corona from the fridge later that evening. Work had gone by with little to do but talk Mrs. Espinoza through programming her universal remote. Again. She was a sweet woman, but Jared really could not spend another minute pretending he didn’t understand her when she kept muttering about what she wanted to do with his ass in very colorful Spanish.
Taking a pull off his beer he flopped down onto the trusty old couch he’d had since he lived in the frat house, crossing his socked feet on the cheap IKEA coffee table.
Jared was just starting to relax when his cell phone buzzed in his pocket. Reaching to grab it, the LCD screen flashed ‘Mayhem’, Chad’s smiling face beaming up at him.
“Can you not go ten minutes without me man? Seriously dude, co-dependency issues much?” Jared answered.
“Shut up bitch, you love it. But all joking aside, get your ass online bro. Jing-Ho’s Mom took his X-Box away again and we need another team member for Call of Duty.”
“Chad, I just got home. Can you wait like an hour?”
“Half an hour.”
“Forty-five minutes.”
“Fifteen.”
“Dude, your bargaining skills suck.” Jared sighed, “Half an hour, and I believe I was promised a pizza.”
“Already on it Dude.”
Chad hung up and Jared shook his head, a toss up between annoyed and amused. He finished his beer and reached over to grab his macbook. He’d learned long, long ago, that Mac’s were far superior and twenty times more efficient than any PC could ever be. Half the time a disgruntled customer came in pulling his hair out over some kink in Windows Vista, Jared couldn’t help but feel a little smug. It was wrong, but the poor suckers deserved it for investing in such a craptastic operating system.
He checked his facebook first, which was pretty much a waste of time. Chad left him five messages on his wall and had sent him some stupid application about Elvin Warlords or something that sounded maybe cool, but really, really wasn’t.
Next he opened his gmail, clicking through a few messages from Gamers Weekly and Creation Entertainment about that Battlestar Galactica Convention in October. He opened an email from his sister Megan on spring break in Cabo. He ground his teeth reading about her new boyfriend Jeremy and his fancy yacht. He hoped she dumped him before Christmas. There was no way he was spending the holidays with that douchebag.
About to close the laptop, he got an alert over iChat.
‘The Terrible Troll Raises His Sword.’
Jared arched his eyebrow. What in the hell?
The message was from an ID marked only by an asterix, no email, nothing.
“No way am I falling for this asswipe.” He muttered, sliding his fingers over the touchpad mouse to click out of the window. He knew a virus when he spotted one, after all, they didn’t make him head of the Nerd Herd for nothing.
‘The Terrible Troll Raises His Sword,’ what was probably a spybot sent again.
Why did that sound so familiar?
Scratching his chin, Jared stared at the screen. Then it dawned on him. Zork! The old text based video game he and his old college roommate Tom programmed on an old TS-80. Man, he smiled remembering all those nights they stayed up eyes glued to their computers, midterms the next day when they should have been cramming for econ.
Fuck it, he thought, old memories coming back to him, ‘Attack Troll With Nasty Knife.’
Hitting enter he sat back, feeling like a fool when nothing happened. He didn’t know what he was expecting, but he thought that maybe… Tom was talking to him.
“Get over yourself Padalecki,” he sighed, palm out to snap his laptop shut. But before he could, the screen blacked out.
“Fuck!” It was a virus! God damnit!
He smacked the side of the screen irrationally thinking it would make it all better. The screen flashed back to life, bright blue glow catching his attention.
A slow slideshow of seemingly random images started to flip across the screen: a pie, a flock of seagulls, Tom Cruise, a nuclear missiles base in Serbia, The pyramids of Giza, a humming bird, an Iranian terrorist group photo, Donald Duck having a spazz attack, illegal underground arms exchange.
The images kept flooding in, flickering faster past his eyes. Each image got harder and harder to decipher from the next, millions of pictures blurring together in a steady stream of light. Jared couldn’t look away, couldn’t blink.
The late afternoon light filtering through the blinds turned to darkness, and back again to the dim light of dawn before the laptop shut itself off.
Finally, Jared blinked his dry eyes and pushed himself up off the couch in a daze.
He should really get ready for work.
---
Pressing the heels of his hands into his eyelids against the dull ache of his head, Jared slipped into work a few hours later.
He tried not to dwell on the random images flashing across his vision. Or the fact that when the traffic report on the radio in the car to work merely mentioned that the 101 was backed up coming out of Universal city, he somehow knew it was because the cops were in a phase of deployment… whatever that meant.
He blinked and slinked to the safety of the Herd, flopping his ass down into the squeaky chair.
“Dude,” up popped Chad from practically nowhere, genuine concern etched across his face, “What happened to you last night? I left you like… maybe twenty messages on your voicemail, texted you twice, and left a message on your wall that I’d probably ignore… The point being, I thought you died.”
Jared reached up and rubbed his eyes, all he could see was pie, and yo-yos, and grenade launchers merging with Chad’s face.
“Yo, Jared,” Chad whistled, “You alright? You look like you’re gonna ralph. You didn’t drink the peach schnapps your sister left from the last time she visited again did you? By the way, how is your sister doing?”
“You’re not dating Megan. Ever.”
He felt a hand clap him on the back, “There’s the Jared we all know and love! But really, man what gives? Me and Sketch got our asses handed to us, and we fully put you to blame.”
“I- I don’t know,” he searched his brain for an explanation, not sure if he should tell Chad about Zork and the weird slideshow assault to the brain.
“I guess I was more tired than I thought,” Jared added lamely, “must have passed out on the couch.”
“Drink some Red-Bull and man up J-man, tonight you owe me three hours of uninterrupted gaming.”
“Yeah, yeah, sure.”
“Alright, I’mma go pretend to sell some shit so old man Kripke backs off my case,” Chad said, drumming his hands on the desk-top before wandering away to hover around a woman looking at Blu-ray players.
Jared scrubbed a hand over his face, leaning back in his chair. Fuck he was tired, and his head was pounding. Why the hell did he watch that whole messed up barrage of images anyways? He was probably brain washed or something for all he knew.
“Excuse me?”
Still sort of out of it, Jared merely turned his head in the direction of the voice.
“I was wondering if you could help me with my phone? It won’t turn on for some reason.”
Catching sight of the guy at the counter, Jared nearly fell out of his chair. It was like he stepped straight out of his dreams, or maybe from the pages of a magazine full of ridiculously hot people that most definitely did not shop in BuyMore’s.
The guy had short cropped hair, blonde and soft looking, green eyes hidden behind stylish wire rimmed glasses, and full pouty lips that begged to be bitten.
Jesus. Christ.
Jared bet he probably had freckles too.
“Yeah, of course, “ He said finally, almost knocking the chair over as he stood up, “Let’s have a look.”
The guy handed him over a small black flip phone, last year’s Motorola Razor model.
“We get this a lot so it’s no big deal, “ Jared started, nerd herder kicking in full force, “There’s a tiny screw in this model that comes loose, keeps the battery from staying in place.”
He pulled a little screwdriver out of a drawer, slipping the back cover off the phone to take a look at the aforementioned problem. Jared stuck out his tongue in concentration as he twisted the screw back in tightly. He snapped the backing back in place on the phone and flipped it open to turn it on.
He smiled proudly handing the phone back to its owner, “There we go. Shouldn’t happen again.”
“Thank you so much!” said the guy sounding genuinely grateful. Jared most certainly did not blush when their hands brushed as he took his phone back.
“You nerds really know your stuff.”
“Oh well… we’re not exactly nerds per se...” Jared defended lamely.
The guy smiled big and bright, eyes crinkling at the corners and wow. Jared was maybe a little bit in love.
“I’m Jensen.”
Jared gaped a bit as he extended his hand. He reached out and took Jensen’s hand in his own sweaty palm, “Jared.”
He smiled easily at the guy- at Jensen- holding on to his hand a little bit longer than strictly necessary.
“Well Jared,” Jensen said a quality to his tone that Jared could have swore sounded a little like he might have been flirting with him. It was kind of sad Jared couldn’t really tell. He hadn’t been in the dating game for longer than he’d care to admit.
Jensen pulled his hand back and reached into his messenger bag. Pulling out a card, he slipped it back into Jared’s palm.
“Call me sometime.”
And with a wink, Jensen turned around and walked straight on out those automatic doors. Jared stared dumbfounded in his wake.
Chad’s wolf whistle from across the store shook him out of his disbelief. Did a guy that hot really just give Jared his number?
Five minutes later he got a text that read, ‘U so wanna bone him. ;P’
“Get back to work Chad!” Jared shouted.
Shaking his head he swiveled around in his chair. If Jared had a grin on his face the rest of the day? Well, that was probably because he just really liked defragging hard drives.
---
His green eyes were ablaze, locked on Jared as he bracketed his knees around Jared’s hips, straddling him on the plush couch.
Jared lifted his hands to cup the indecent spurs of the man’s hipbones peeking over the low sling of denim. He was gorgeous and flush above him, the hard push of his arousal pressing against Jared’s stomach with each talented roll of his hips.
Jared tugged hungrily at the man’s lip, scraping his teeth across the tender flesh and sucking hard. Pulling back, his lips were swollen and full, red and shiny, demanding to be kissed. He did just that, licking back into the man’s mouth.
“Jared,” his lover moaned, breathing ragged and cheeks gloriously pink.
Sliding a hand up the flat of the man’s stomach, Jared sucked a bruising kiss along the side of his neck, lightly nosing the hard line of his jaw.
“Jensen,” Jared breathed.
Jensen pulled back slightly, cupping Jared’s face in his hands. He smiled, eyes crinkling at the corners. “Wake up,” he said.
Jared leaned back in, tried to chase his lips for another kiss but Jensen frowned, forehead creasing seriously. He pushed Jared’s shoulders hard back into the couch,
“Wake up,” he said again, tone demanding this time.
“Dude, wake the fuck up!”
Feeling a rush of cold air, Jared’s eyes blinked open, body instinctively curling up into a ball against the chill. God damnit, why could he never get to third base even in his own dreams?
“Good dream?” Came Chad’s voice, spiky blonde head hovering over the bed. He had Jared’s comforter gathered in his arms, smirk plastered over his face.
“Uh…”
“If you gotta spank the monkey, I’ll give you two minutes.”
Spluttering, Jared grabbed a pillow and covered his completely wilted erection.
“Jesus Chad! One, don’t ever say ‘spank the monkey’. Two, how the hell did you get into my apartment? Three, it takes longer than two minutes okay! Really.”
Chad shrugged, dropping the blanket and moving around to plop down at the foot of the bed. He turned on the X-Box and TV, “Hiding the spare key underneath the rock by the front door is really obvious dude.”
“I don’t have a spare key I hide underneath a rock.”
“Well you do since I stole your keys, made a copy and hid that spare under a rock,” Chad picked up the wireless controller and looked over his shoulder, “Dude keep up.”
Sucking in a deep breath, fully prepared on going off on a tangent about personal boundaries, Jared just deflated, shaking his head. He scooted out of bed, untwisting the t-shirt he slept in and padded out to the kitchen.
“Dude, can you make me a pop-tart? Thanks!” Chad shouted over the sounds of Madden.
Stopping and groaning, Jared turned on the coffeemaker and pushed two pop-tarts into the toaster before shuffling into the bathroom. He turned on the radio before hopping into a quick shower. Soaping up he remembered his dream, cock stirring at the almost memories of Jensen’s weight above him, of kissing his seriously awesome lips.
Was it weird to jerk off with Chad in the other room?
Scrunching up his nose, Jared decided that yes, yes it really, really was.
Focusing on the radio he stood under the spray and rinsed.
‘... Delegates prepare for the arrival of the head of the Pacific Security Council to Los Angeles this afternoon. Director Singer is scheduled to hold a conference about his new defense plan later this week…’
Suddenly a flash of images overrode his vision: Weird government documents, Director Singer shaking hands with the Japanese president, chemical and mathematical equations, a mariachi band.
His shower came back into focus, hair dripping over his eyes. Jared blinked, squeezing his eyes shut and opening them wide.
“So, that was weird.”
Stepping out of the shower, he turned off the radio and slipped back into his boxers, towel drying his hair as he headed into the kitchen to get some coffee into his system.
He definitely needed coffee.
---
Driving Chad to work was like driving a toddler to preschool. He touched everything in sight and constantly babbled about things Jared wasn’t paying any attention to.
What was most annoying was that he fucked up his preset radio stations to listen to some soft rock café shit.
“Dude, John Mayer kicks. Ass.” He’d said, “I’d go gay for John. He sings the songs of my soul.”
Jared had nearly kicked him across the store soon as they walked in, the familiar chime of the store’s motto greeting them as it rang across the speaker system,‘When you buy more, you get more.’
Slipping back behind the Nerd Herd desk, Jared sat through an almost painless team meeting about the newest virus to attack the Prism Express heavy-duty laptop model. Katie’s gum chewing didn’t even annoy him as much as it normally did. That was probably because Chad took up all the annoyance points for the day. And it wasn’t even ten o’clock yet.
That may have been a new record.
“I’d like a piece of that fine ass,” Katie said, voice whistling low with appreciation from where she sat perched on top of the desk, “Take a bite right out of it and…”
Jared glared over at her sharply.
“Sorry boss,” she smiled sweetly with a snap of her gum and hopped off the desk, probably to go over and flirt with the man with the fine ass.
He looked up curiously, pleasantly surprised to see none other than his walking wet dream smiling back at him. Staring dumbly he figured he should probably say something.
“Jensen! Uh… hi! Phone still giving you trouble?”
Jared grabbed the little screwdriver and waved it around. Jensen’s smile turned coy, “Actually yeah…” he trailed off voice like honey, “My phone hasn’t been able to receive calls-“
Jared opened his mouth before Jensen finished, “Let me take a look at it for you -“
“- Because I haven’t gotten one from you.”
“Oh.”
“Yeah, oh.”
Jared scratched the back of his neck awkwardly, feeling his face heat up. On the one hand he felt like a jerk for not calling him, but on the other he was completely dumbfounded that someone that gorgeous could possibly be into him! He wore short-sleeved dress shirts to work for God’s sake!
“Look,” Jensen said, looking disappointedly at his watch, “I’ve got a meeting with a realtor in like, wow ten minutes,” he made a face like he couldn’t quite believe where all his time had gone.
“But I was wondering if maybe you could show me around town? I just moved here and don’t really know anybody…”
“Really? You want me to show you around?”
“Really,” laughed Jensen, “why is that so weird?”
“Oh you know because you’re like,” Jared looked him up and down a lot intimidated by his hotness, “well have you seen you lately?”
“Have you seen you lately?” Jensen retorted back with a clever grin, eyes hungrily roaming over Jared’s body behind the dorky shirt and tie.
“Actually, I just recently got rid of all my mirrors,” he joked lamely, not accustomed to this kind of attention, “it’s a new thing I’m trying.”
Jensen smiled at him, reaching over the desk to pull a pen out of Jared’s front shirt pocket, “Here’s the hotel I’m staying at,” he said as he jotted down the address on a post-it note.
He ripped the top piece off and stuck it on Jared’s shirt, fingers lingering on the fabric of his tie for a brief moment. His grin was wickedly sexy as he said, “Pick me up at 7.”
Tongue-tied and hopelessly mortified that he sprung wood at work, all Jared could do was nod.
“See you tonight, Jared.”
He watched Jensen walk through the BuyMore and out the doors into the sunlight.
“Duuuuuuuude,” Chad slid over and pulled the post-it off his shirt.
“You are so getting laid tonight.”
The thing was, Jared figured that could actually be a very real possibility.
---
The pathetic thing was, Jared hadn’t been on a date since junior year of college. It’s not that he didn’t want to date or anything, it was just well, he tended to be kind of spastic, and nervous, and said the wrong things. He never ended up with a second date, so he sort of just stopped trying.
His plan for tonight was to get that neurosis out of the way before hand. He kinda really wanted this time to end with a second date. Or possibly more dates. For the foreseeable future.
Which is how he ended up sitting in his car across the street from Jensen’s hotel, gripping the steering wheel hard and trying not to have an asthma attack.
His cell phone buzzed in his pocket.
‘Bed him well.’
It was kind of scary how interested Chad was in his sex life.
---
His fist barely hit the vibrant green door of Jensen’s swanky hotel room before it flew open. He wondered what the guy did for a living to be able to afford a room in this place.
“Hi!” he grinned enthusiastically, dopey and wide, hands shoved deep into his pockets, “You uh ready to…”
Trailing off, his eyes raked over Jensen’s body from where he stood inside the doorway. Gone were the casual work clothes, practically indecent black jeans in the place of khakis. White cotton v-neck t-shirt layered underneath a stylish leather jacket, cut perfectly across his broad shoulders. The glasses were gone, the green of his eyes framed with the longest eyelashes Jared had ever seen on any guy. He wondered if he was wearing mascara. Or owned an eyelash curler.
But what was perhaps the hottest thing about Jensen in that moment was the sultry curl of his lips into a sexy little smile.
He was so in over his head.
“…Go?” he finished lamely.
“Depends on where you’re planning on taking me.” Jensen winked, closing the door behind him and meeting Jared in the hallway.
“If I told you I’d have to kill you.”
“Don’t be so sure about that one.” Jensen said, eyes going dark.
They walked to the elevators, an awkward silence filling the air. Or at least it was awkward to Jared. Christ. He couldn’t take Jensen to the Mexican restaurant on Sunset when the guy looked that hot. He deserved to be showed off somewhere with people more deserving of his hotness. Not eating burritos with the guy who fixes hard drives at the BuyMore.
Stepping out of the elevator, Jensen trailed behind him.
Jared blushed when he caught him leering at his ass over his shoulder.
“You nerds sure clean up good, “ he heard Jensen say, voice low with appreciation.
Way, way over his head.
---
Strangely enough, Jared managed to actually relax at the restaurant. Though that was probably from the wine segment of the evening’s wine and dine agenda.
It also helped that he was pleasantly full on enchiladas and home made salsa. A fed and buzzed Jared, was a happy Jared.
Or maybe it had something to do with how Jensen managed to make him feel calm. He couldn’t quite pinpoint what the hell it was but, there was just something about him that chilled him out. Which meant he got talkative. But what was really awesome, was that Jensen was keeping up with him.
“So yeah, turns out they only hire people with the geek gene, I’m serious,” he smiled lifting his bottle of Corona to his lips for a quick sip, “If you walked in asking for a job they’d take one look at you and laugh in your face.”
Jensen looked at him incredulously, mock offended, “What? No way! I’ve got mad geek, don’t be fooled by the pretty face.”
“Hah, kinda hard not to. Have you looked in a mirror lately?”
“Nah, not really. I got rid of them all. It’s a new thing I’m trying, a friend recommended it you know?” Jensen said, lips pulled into a quirky grin around his wine glass.
“Some mirror is really missing out somewhere then.”
Jared smiled at the sound of Jensen’s laugh, those crinkles around his eyes made his stomach flop around like something really… floppy. Shut up, metaphors are hard to come up with in the face of so much hot.
“And hey, I’m serious, I’ve totally got some geek in me,” said Jensen.
Jared tried not to find a double meaning in that comment. He tried. And failed, spectacularly. Oh my God.
“You might be the only person to take offense at not being called a geek,” Jared said with amusement, “I’m impressed. Yet, not convinced in the slightest.”
“Oh! Oh, really?”
Jensen sat up, leaning over the tabletop, sensing some sort of challenge and ready to win it, “Okay how about this,” he started, “I went to comic con last year, totally got Tricia Helfer’s autograph.”
Jared thought it was cute, as he sat back, a smug look on his face.
“Uh yeah, been to comic con every year since I was 13. Not gonna cut it man,” he shrugged his shoulders sympathetically, “Valiant effort. You do get points for being a BSG fan.”
“Can’t say I didn’t try.”
Jared felt a silence peeking out, threatening to kill the roll of conversation. Of course his mouth couldn’t let that happen.
“So, I’m sitting here trying to figure out what’s wrong with you, I mean going on a date with me? Yikes man.” He teased, “Wait. You’re not like, a cannibal are you? Because that might be cool, I’ve never met one before…”
There that laugh was again, “No, not a cannibal, the boring version is I just got out of a long relationship so I may come with some baggage.”
“Well I could be your very own baggage handler.”
Wow, Jared way to get a hold on the brain/mouth filter there buddy.
Quickly, he tried to save the moment, “So uh,” he started peeling the label off his beer nervously, “This relationship, is it the reason you moved out here from-?”
God, wrong question Dude. Why did his inner monologue sound like Chad? He needed new friends.
“DC, and yeah… after, after I’d realized that all my friends were his friends, and that everything about Washington reminded me about,” He paused looking nostalgic, “Tim, I knew I needed a change. Needed to start over.”
Jared needed to lighten the mood, right now.
“Wow, you went out with a Tim?”
Jensen rolled his eyes a bit but smiled just the same, “Well what about you Mr. Geek, you got any skeletons in your closet,” he paused, eyes searching, “any secrets? Bad relationships?”
“Well, in eleventh grade I-“
“Dude, you have to go back that far?”
“Hey, I’m just the manager of the Nerd Herd at a BuyMore, what sort of secrets do you think I have? I mean, yeah sure I once stole a Butterfingers from the AM-PM and the guilt comes back every once in a while, but then I think about how awesome that chocolate bar was and you know? It was all worth it in the end.”
Jensen smiled, different somehow, tongue poking out between his teeth and ducking his head, like this was the smile of all smiles, the most sincere, “I like you, Jared,” he said simply.
Feeling something warm bloom in his chest and spread out towards the tips of his fingers, Jared smiled back at him, shy and earnest.
“Yeah. Yeah, me too.”
---
“So next item on the docket,” Jared clapped his hands together as they walked down the sidewalk, city nightlife all around them.
“Should I be scared?” Jensen asked skeptically.
“Hey, that candy store was awesome and you know it!”
“Jared, if you had the choice, you would go out on a date with the candy store over me.”
“What that’s not-!” he deflated, “Yeah, it’s probably true. Candy owns my heart like no other. If it was legal I’d marry it.”
“For some reason I don’t doubt that.”
“Okay so, music? Yay? Nay?”
“Uh… if you mean do I like music, then my answer is,” Jensen took a breath, “I guess?”
“Dude, did you just say you don’t like music?” Jared said, shock dripping from his words. It wasn’t possible for someone to not like music.
“No, no it’s just, I don’t really listen to it. Don’t really have the time.”
“What? Come on, there’s always time for music! What’s your favorite band?”
“Uh...” Jensen paused, as if he was trying to think of the first band that popped into his head, “Coldplay?”
“If you have to take that long to think of your favorite band, you don’t have one man. That’s just, “ Jared looked over at him, “sad.”
“Well what’s your favorite band then huh?” Jensen nudged his shoulder against Jared’s, and Jared felt on top of the world from just that little gesture.
Without hesitation, Jared kept his eyes on Jensen’s, “Journey.”
“Journey?”
“Journey.” He nodded, “Come on tell me that ‘Don’t Stop Believing’ isn’t the best karaoke tune of all time man. You just can’t argue against it. It’s solid fact.”
“I’ve never even heard of Journey,” Jensen blushed a bit, “God you must think I’m a loser!”
Jensen laughed at himself, the flush rising against his cheeks. It was adorable.
“Nah, not a loser. Do I think you live in a cave? Yes. Yes I do.”
“Great, I’m not a geek, I don’t listen to music. This must be your worst date ever, right?”
“Please, you kidding? I took my cousin to the Junior Prom, this is nothing.”
It was something all right, something beyond awesome. Considering his dating track record, this was the best date Jared had ever been on. And it wasn’t even over yet.
---
The club was small but comfortable. The atmosphere very laid-back, and Jared didn’t feel intimidated by any of the patrons. Everyone seemed to be normal and easygoing, just looking to kick back and have a good time. That was why he liked it here. It was one of the only places downtown he actually didn’t mind coming to. Plus they always booked the good bands.
Coming back from the bar with two bottles of Heineken, he handed one over to Jensen with a grin and sat down beside him on the plush couch just out of the way of the dance floor.
“These guys are good!” Jensen shouted over the noise of the band.
“Yeah, they are,” he said, watching as Jensen took a sip of his beer.
Every once in a while he was struck by just how incredibly gorgeous Jensen was. The dim lighting of the club just made him look even more amazing. It was just really hard to believe this was really happening right now.
Jensen must have noticed he was staring, must have felt a little uncomfortable from the weight of Jared’s gaze because he kept looking back over his shoulder every few minutes, looking back at the door. Like maybe he wanted to leave.
Great, way to go and ruin the perfect night by acting like a creeper. Score one for Team Padalecki.
Suddenly Jensen was grabbing his hand, threading their fingers and practically manhandling him up off the couch.
“Let’s dance,” He demanded, not giving Jared a choice.
“Oh, I’m not- I’m not really a dancer,” Jared protested weakly, being dragged into the center of the crowded dance floor.
Jensen pushed up close against him, grinding his hips dangerously slow against Jared’s own. Jared’s mouth went dry, focusing only on how hot the blaze of Jensen’s eyes was and the warm press of his body.
Jensen pushed off with a teasing grin, circling back around Jared to dance behind him, close against him. His hands trailed down Jared’s back, ghosting against his hips and stopping to spread his palms wide against his ass. Jared braved looking over his shoulder and Jensen was crouched near the ground, face pressed against the seat of Jared’s jeans.
Jesus fucking Christ, it was the most erotic thing he’d ever seen. Now if only he and Jensen could be doing this in private. Preferably in the nude.
He heard a groan somewhere in the distance, but for all he knew that could have just been himself. Yes, Jared’s jeans were getting tighter. And no, that wasn’t a pack of Mentos in his pocket either.
Some guy passed out a few feet away, but Jared chalked it up to too much Tequila. He probably should have checked to see if the guy was okay, but Jensen had some how gotten back in front of him. He reached up and curled his hand around Jared’s neck.
Leaning over he whispered hotly, “Let’s get out of here.”
Oh. God. Yes. Please. Thank. You. Very. Much.
Jared didn’t get the chance to answer as Jensen practically pulled his arm out of its socket, dragging him out of the club and back out onto the street.
Oh he was definitely getting laid.
---
>> part two.
Jared/Jensen. NC-17. 13,000 words.
Warning: spy!au, car chases, guns, hot nerdy boys?
Disclaimer: No harm intended. The wonderfully awesome tv show Chuck belongs to NBC, Chris Fedak and Josh Schwartz (♥). Jensen and Jared obviously belong to themselves, or each other. This remains unclear.
Summary: Jared works at the BuyMore. It used to be pretty boring. Now? He has to defend the country from assassins, terrorists, and shoplifters. And it's all Jensen Ackles' fault.
---
A/N 1: Special thanks to jedi_hand_porn for practically commanding me to write this, otherwise you would! I just couldn't have that you know? And thanks to VAL ♥♥ rawkin_ur_sox for reading this over and telling me it didn't suck. ILU!
A/N 2: If you've seen Chuck before, heh, I kinda stole a lot of the dialogue and most of the plot. So you know. *hides* I just really wanted to see J2 in this situation. Anyways, I hope it's still enjoyable!
---
------
The sound of heavy gunfire echoed in the near distance as he led his squadron through the charred remains of fallen buildings.
“Scope the area. Anything moves shoot it dead.” He said into his headset, hearing his squad’s various approvals through the walkie.
Holding his rifle out in front of his body, he inched around the corner of a mostly in tact wall and checked for the all clear.
No enemy in sight.
“Alright, seems clear. Mayhem, cover me just in case.”
“Got it boss.”
Easing up slightly, he moved freely into the open, signaling the rest of his men to do the same. Suddenly, a piercing scream shattered through the calm and rapid thunderous gunfire began raining down from above.
He was quick to lift his rifle and grip the trigger, but not quick enough.
Everything went red.
GAME OVER.
Sighing heavily, Jared tossed his X-Box controller onto his desk and leaned back into his awesomely back supportive chair. 30 percent off at Office Depot. Best investment in a piece of furniture he ever made.
“Dude,” he said into his X-box live headset, “You were supposed to have my back. What gives?”
Eyebrow arched he waited for a response, but all he got was dead air.
Fuckin’ Chad.
Staring ahead at the TV, the flashing ‘game over’ doing nothing but taunting him, he pushed up out of his chair and turned off the television. Feeling stupid for still having the headset on, he quickly untangled it from his hair and placed it on the desk before turning and collapsing head first onto his bed.
25 and the highlight of his night was playing X-Box live alone in his dark bedroom with some kids from Korea, and Chad, who ditched him and left him for dead. He wondered if it was even more pathetic that he got ditched over the Internet and was actually kind of pissed about it.
Whatever.
Groaning he turned over so he was looking up at the ceiling, one conversed foot hanging off the edge of his too small bed.
It wasn’t long before his infinite boredom lulled him to sleep before 8 o’clock on a Friday night.
---
He was gorgeous. Green eyes sharp and smoldering with a dark passion; full of a mystery that only made Jared want him more. His hair was golden underneath the glow of the setting sun. His lips sensuous and full, Jared’s entire being ached to kiss them. Ached to know what he tasted like. His lips, his skin, every inch of him.
‘Jared,’ purred the man. The rough rumble of his voice a caress around the shape of his name, ‘Jared.’
The man was close now, and Jared could make out all the freckles across the bridge of his nose. His lips caught around the shell of Jared’s ear, beautiful mouth open to speak, ‘Beep. Beep. Beep. BEEEEEEEEEEEEEP!’
Eyes snapping open, Jared rolled off the bed, a tangle of sheets wrapped around his long legs. He reached a hand up, groping around on the bedside table, needing to kill his alarm clock.
Goddamn! Every fucking time that dream ended the same! It was like his own mind wanted to cock block him. Really, it was like the epitome of all things lame.
He managed to untangle his limbs and climb up from the floor several minutes later. He padded slowly down the hall to the bathroom, scratching low on his belly and yawning big. Priding himself in having a killer morning autopilot he reached out and turned on the shower, simultaneously kicking off his Marvin the Martian boxers.
The steam of the shower slowly but surely eased him out of his morning haze and in no time he was singing Journey’s ‘Don’t Stop Believing’ into his shampoo bottle, killer faux hawk held up by the suds of his lavender herbal essences.
Clean and smelling fresh like an Irish spring, he knotted a towel around his hips. Stopping to push his wet hair off his forehead, he winked at himself in the mirror, “Lookin’ good Padalecki.”
Next stop was the closet.
Pressed short sleeve white shirt, clip on grey skinny tie, black khakis, converse high tops, wrist-cuff watch.
Jared glanced over at his collector’s edition Darth Vader digital clock -still in the box and fully operational thanks very much- 8:10 AM, it read. Fuck. He was running late.
Getting dressed with speed, he traveled to the mirror and quickly combed his fingers through his hair. Grabbing a pop-tart and his keys off the counter, he locked up his shitty first floor apartment and made his way out to the company car parked on the street before speeding off to work.
---
Walking through the automatic doors of the BuyMore, Jared clipped his nametag onto his shirt pocket. ‘Jared Padalecki’ it read in official looking times new roman, ‘Nerd Herd Management’ was the title attached to his name and picture.
BuyMore: When you buy more, you get more.
Making his way to his station in the center of the electronics conglomerate, Jared took his seat behind his little island of authority. He couldn’t say he was happy installing Norton anti-viruses and helping the technologically illiterate program their iPhones, but it’s what paid the bills. He couldn’t really complain because the perks of working at the BuyMore totally outweighed the 12-dollar an hour salary.
For instance he had his own staff of guys far more pathetic than he that Jared could boss around. Also the after hours Herders versus Sales Guitar Hero tournaments always turned into quite the shindig.
“You’ll never believe what happened to me last night!”
“Your Mom made her famous pizza bagels and you momentarily blacked out in foodgasm?” Jared answered, booting up the computer system and swiveling around in his chair. He arched an unamused eyebrow over at Chad who had hopped up and planted his ass on the Nerd Herd desk.
“Uh, no. But good guess,” Chad reached out and started fiddling with a stapler, “My cousin Larry, you know the one with the sweet ass Toyota Yaris? Dude, he fucking took me to a strip club last night man! With actual girls!”
Chad finished excitedly, stapling the air to emphasize the awesomeness of being within ten feet of scantily clad women.
Sometimes, Jared couldn’t figure out if working with his best friend was a job perk, or was just really fucking annoying.
“So, that’s why you left me, Jing-ho, and Sketch to die in the hands of enemy combatants?”
“Girls, dude. Snatch practically right in my face!”
Jared scrunched up his nose, “Don’t say snatch man.”
“Whatever, if you weren’t so into dick, you would understand why I ditched. Jing-ho and Sketch forgave me man, why can’t you?”
“Jing-ho doesn’t speak English, and I’m pretty sure Sketch is your ninth grade girlfriend who turned lesbian the summer after you broke up.”
Chad dropped the stapler and waved his hand in the air, “Eh, that’s just the fine print details,” he jumped down off the desk, “Look I’ll make it up to you man. I’ll order you a large pizza with extra olives, make sure that kid you’ve got a hard on for delivers it and then we can get the team together and finally beat the shit out of the next level on WoW.”
Jared rolled his eyes and couldn’t help but smile at his retard of a friend. He may be sketchy, and squinty eyed, and horribly needy, but he was loyal and pretty much the best friend he’d ever had. Besides, it wasn’t like being ditched over X-box live was the worst thing Chad could do. Jared had pretty much forgiven him already, but he was totally game for the free pizza.
“Isn’t there someone you can be selling a microwave to?”
“Pfft, where the fuck have you been Padalecki? I’m on audio/video rotation this week.” Chad beamed proudly.
“Work. Go. Now.”
“Aye Aye Cap’n.”
---
Jared unclipped his tie as he grabbed the last bottle of Corona from the fridge later that evening. Work had gone by with little to do but talk Mrs. Espinoza through programming her universal remote. Again. She was a sweet woman, but Jared really could not spend another minute pretending he didn’t understand her when she kept muttering about what she wanted to do with his ass in very colorful Spanish.
Taking a pull off his beer he flopped down onto the trusty old couch he’d had since he lived in the frat house, crossing his socked feet on the cheap IKEA coffee table.
Jared was just starting to relax when his cell phone buzzed in his pocket. Reaching to grab it, the LCD screen flashed ‘Mayhem’, Chad’s smiling face beaming up at him.
“Can you not go ten minutes without me man? Seriously dude, co-dependency issues much?” Jared answered.
“Shut up bitch, you love it. But all joking aside, get your ass online bro. Jing-Ho’s Mom took his X-Box away again and we need another team member for Call of Duty.”
“Chad, I just got home. Can you wait like an hour?”
“Half an hour.”
“Forty-five minutes.”
“Fifteen.”
“Dude, your bargaining skills suck.” Jared sighed, “Half an hour, and I believe I was promised a pizza.”
“Already on it Dude.”
Chad hung up and Jared shook his head, a toss up between annoyed and amused. He finished his beer and reached over to grab his macbook. He’d learned long, long ago, that Mac’s were far superior and twenty times more efficient than any PC could ever be. Half the time a disgruntled customer came in pulling his hair out over some kink in Windows Vista, Jared couldn’t help but feel a little smug. It was wrong, but the poor suckers deserved it for investing in such a craptastic operating system.
He checked his facebook first, which was pretty much a waste of time. Chad left him five messages on his wall and had sent him some stupid application about Elvin Warlords or something that sounded maybe cool, but really, really wasn’t.
Next he opened his gmail, clicking through a few messages from Gamers Weekly and Creation Entertainment about that Battlestar Galactica Convention in October. He opened an email from his sister Megan on spring break in Cabo. He ground his teeth reading about her new boyfriend Jeremy and his fancy yacht. He hoped she dumped him before Christmas. There was no way he was spending the holidays with that douchebag.
About to close the laptop, he got an alert over iChat.
‘The Terrible Troll Raises His Sword.’
Jared arched his eyebrow. What in the hell?
The message was from an ID marked only by an asterix, no email, nothing.
“No way am I falling for this asswipe.” He muttered, sliding his fingers over the touchpad mouse to click out of the window. He knew a virus when he spotted one, after all, they didn’t make him head of the Nerd Herd for nothing.
‘The Terrible Troll Raises His Sword,’ what was probably a spybot sent again.
Why did that sound so familiar?
Scratching his chin, Jared stared at the screen. Then it dawned on him. Zork! The old text based video game he and his old college roommate Tom programmed on an old TS-80. Man, he smiled remembering all those nights they stayed up eyes glued to their computers, midterms the next day when they should have been cramming for econ.
Fuck it, he thought, old memories coming back to him, ‘Attack Troll With Nasty Knife.’
Hitting enter he sat back, feeling like a fool when nothing happened. He didn’t know what he was expecting, but he thought that maybe… Tom was talking to him.
“Get over yourself Padalecki,” he sighed, palm out to snap his laptop shut. But before he could, the screen blacked out.
“Fuck!” It was a virus! God damnit!
He smacked the side of the screen irrationally thinking it would make it all better. The screen flashed back to life, bright blue glow catching his attention.
A slow slideshow of seemingly random images started to flip across the screen: a pie, a flock of seagulls, Tom Cruise, a nuclear missiles base in Serbia, The pyramids of Giza, a humming bird, an Iranian terrorist group photo, Donald Duck having a spazz attack, illegal underground arms exchange.
The images kept flooding in, flickering faster past his eyes. Each image got harder and harder to decipher from the next, millions of pictures blurring together in a steady stream of light. Jared couldn’t look away, couldn’t blink.
The late afternoon light filtering through the blinds turned to darkness, and back again to the dim light of dawn before the laptop shut itself off.
Finally, Jared blinked his dry eyes and pushed himself up off the couch in a daze.
He should really get ready for work.
---
Pressing the heels of his hands into his eyelids against the dull ache of his head, Jared slipped into work a few hours later.
He tried not to dwell on the random images flashing across his vision. Or the fact that when the traffic report on the radio in the car to work merely mentioned that the 101 was backed up coming out of Universal city, he somehow knew it was because the cops were in a phase of deployment… whatever that meant.
He blinked and slinked to the safety of the Herd, flopping his ass down into the squeaky chair.
“Dude,” up popped Chad from practically nowhere, genuine concern etched across his face, “What happened to you last night? I left you like… maybe twenty messages on your voicemail, texted you twice, and left a message on your wall that I’d probably ignore… The point being, I thought you died.”
Jared reached up and rubbed his eyes, all he could see was pie, and yo-yos, and grenade launchers merging with Chad’s face.
“Yo, Jared,” Chad whistled, “You alright? You look like you’re gonna ralph. You didn’t drink the peach schnapps your sister left from the last time she visited again did you? By the way, how is your sister doing?”
“You’re not dating Megan. Ever.”
He felt a hand clap him on the back, “There’s the Jared we all know and love! But really, man what gives? Me and Sketch got our asses handed to us, and we fully put you to blame.”
“I- I don’t know,” he searched his brain for an explanation, not sure if he should tell Chad about Zork and the weird slideshow assault to the brain.
“I guess I was more tired than I thought,” Jared added lamely, “must have passed out on the couch.”
“Drink some Red-Bull and man up J-man, tonight you owe me three hours of uninterrupted gaming.”
“Yeah, yeah, sure.”
“Alright, I’mma go pretend to sell some shit so old man Kripke backs off my case,” Chad said, drumming his hands on the desk-top before wandering away to hover around a woman looking at Blu-ray players.
Jared scrubbed a hand over his face, leaning back in his chair. Fuck he was tired, and his head was pounding. Why the hell did he watch that whole messed up barrage of images anyways? He was probably brain washed or something for all he knew.
“Excuse me?”
Still sort of out of it, Jared merely turned his head in the direction of the voice.
“I was wondering if you could help me with my phone? It won’t turn on for some reason.”
Catching sight of the guy at the counter, Jared nearly fell out of his chair. It was like he stepped straight out of his dreams, or maybe from the pages of a magazine full of ridiculously hot people that most definitely did not shop in BuyMore’s.
The guy had short cropped hair, blonde and soft looking, green eyes hidden behind stylish wire rimmed glasses, and full pouty lips that begged to be bitten.
Jesus. Christ.
Jared bet he probably had freckles too.
“Yeah, of course, “ He said finally, almost knocking the chair over as he stood up, “Let’s have a look.”
The guy handed him over a small black flip phone, last year’s Motorola Razor model.
“We get this a lot so it’s no big deal, “ Jared started, nerd herder kicking in full force, “There’s a tiny screw in this model that comes loose, keeps the battery from staying in place.”
He pulled a little screwdriver out of a drawer, slipping the back cover off the phone to take a look at the aforementioned problem. Jared stuck out his tongue in concentration as he twisted the screw back in tightly. He snapped the backing back in place on the phone and flipped it open to turn it on.
He smiled proudly handing the phone back to its owner, “There we go. Shouldn’t happen again.”
“Thank you so much!” said the guy sounding genuinely grateful. Jared most certainly did not blush when their hands brushed as he took his phone back.
“You nerds really know your stuff.”
“Oh well… we’re not exactly nerds per se...” Jared defended lamely.
The guy smiled big and bright, eyes crinkling at the corners and wow. Jared was maybe a little bit in love.
“I’m Jensen.”
Jared gaped a bit as he extended his hand. He reached out and took Jensen’s hand in his own sweaty palm, “Jared.”
He smiled easily at the guy- at Jensen- holding on to his hand a little bit longer than strictly necessary.
“Well Jared,” Jensen said a quality to his tone that Jared could have swore sounded a little like he might have been flirting with him. It was kind of sad Jared couldn’t really tell. He hadn’t been in the dating game for longer than he’d care to admit.
Jensen pulled his hand back and reached into his messenger bag. Pulling out a card, he slipped it back into Jared’s palm.
“Call me sometime.”
And with a wink, Jensen turned around and walked straight on out those automatic doors. Jared stared dumbfounded in his wake.
Chad’s wolf whistle from across the store shook him out of his disbelief. Did a guy that hot really just give Jared his number?
Five minutes later he got a text that read, ‘U so wanna bone him. ;P’
“Get back to work Chad!” Jared shouted.
Shaking his head he swiveled around in his chair. If Jared had a grin on his face the rest of the day? Well, that was probably because he just really liked defragging hard drives.
---
His green eyes were ablaze, locked on Jared as he bracketed his knees around Jared’s hips, straddling him on the plush couch.
Jared lifted his hands to cup the indecent spurs of the man’s hipbones peeking over the low sling of denim. He was gorgeous and flush above him, the hard push of his arousal pressing against Jared’s stomach with each talented roll of his hips.
Jared tugged hungrily at the man’s lip, scraping his teeth across the tender flesh and sucking hard. Pulling back, his lips were swollen and full, red and shiny, demanding to be kissed. He did just that, licking back into the man’s mouth.
“Jared,” his lover moaned, breathing ragged and cheeks gloriously pink.
Sliding a hand up the flat of the man’s stomach, Jared sucked a bruising kiss along the side of his neck, lightly nosing the hard line of his jaw.
“Jensen,” Jared breathed.
Jensen pulled back slightly, cupping Jared’s face in his hands. He smiled, eyes crinkling at the corners. “Wake up,” he said.
Jared leaned back in, tried to chase his lips for another kiss but Jensen frowned, forehead creasing seriously. He pushed Jared’s shoulders hard back into the couch,
“Wake up,” he said again, tone demanding this time.
“Dude, wake the fuck up!”
Feeling a rush of cold air, Jared’s eyes blinked open, body instinctively curling up into a ball against the chill. God damnit, why could he never get to third base even in his own dreams?
“Good dream?” Came Chad’s voice, spiky blonde head hovering over the bed. He had Jared’s comforter gathered in his arms, smirk plastered over his face.
“Uh…”
“If you gotta spank the monkey, I’ll give you two minutes.”
Spluttering, Jared grabbed a pillow and covered his completely wilted erection.
“Jesus Chad! One, don’t ever say ‘spank the monkey’. Two, how the hell did you get into my apartment? Three, it takes longer than two minutes okay! Really.”
Chad shrugged, dropping the blanket and moving around to plop down at the foot of the bed. He turned on the X-Box and TV, “Hiding the spare key underneath the rock by the front door is really obvious dude.”
“I don’t have a spare key I hide underneath a rock.”
“Well you do since I stole your keys, made a copy and hid that spare under a rock,” Chad picked up the wireless controller and looked over his shoulder, “Dude keep up.”
Sucking in a deep breath, fully prepared on going off on a tangent about personal boundaries, Jared just deflated, shaking his head. He scooted out of bed, untwisting the t-shirt he slept in and padded out to the kitchen.
“Dude, can you make me a pop-tart? Thanks!” Chad shouted over the sounds of Madden.
Stopping and groaning, Jared turned on the coffeemaker and pushed two pop-tarts into the toaster before shuffling into the bathroom. He turned on the radio before hopping into a quick shower. Soaping up he remembered his dream, cock stirring at the almost memories of Jensen’s weight above him, of kissing his seriously awesome lips.
Was it weird to jerk off with Chad in the other room?
Scrunching up his nose, Jared decided that yes, yes it really, really was.
Focusing on the radio he stood under the spray and rinsed.
‘... Delegates prepare for the arrival of the head of the Pacific Security Council to Los Angeles this afternoon. Director Singer is scheduled to hold a conference about his new defense plan later this week…’
Suddenly a flash of images overrode his vision: Weird government documents, Director Singer shaking hands with the Japanese president, chemical and mathematical equations, a mariachi band.
His shower came back into focus, hair dripping over his eyes. Jared blinked, squeezing his eyes shut and opening them wide.
“So, that was weird.”
Stepping out of the shower, he turned off the radio and slipped back into his boxers, towel drying his hair as he headed into the kitchen to get some coffee into his system.
He definitely needed coffee.
---
Driving Chad to work was like driving a toddler to preschool. He touched everything in sight and constantly babbled about things Jared wasn’t paying any attention to.
What was most annoying was that he fucked up his preset radio stations to listen to some soft rock café shit.
“Dude, John Mayer kicks. Ass.” He’d said, “I’d go gay for John. He sings the songs of my soul.”
Jared had nearly kicked him across the store soon as they walked in, the familiar chime of the store’s motto greeting them as it rang across the speaker system,‘When you buy more, you get more.’
Slipping back behind the Nerd Herd desk, Jared sat through an almost painless team meeting about the newest virus to attack the Prism Express heavy-duty laptop model. Katie’s gum chewing didn’t even annoy him as much as it normally did. That was probably because Chad took up all the annoyance points for the day. And it wasn’t even ten o’clock yet.
That may have been a new record.
“I’d like a piece of that fine ass,” Katie said, voice whistling low with appreciation from where she sat perched on top of the desk, “Take a bite right out of it and…”
Jared glared over at her sharply.
“Sorry boss,” she smiled sweetly with a snap of her gum and hopped off the desk, probably to go over and flirt with the man with the fine ass.
He looked up curiously, pleasantly surprised to see none other than his walking wet dream smiling back at him. Staring dumbly he figured he should probably say something.
“Jensen! Uh… hi! Phone still giving you trouble?”
Jared grabbed the little screwdriver and waved it around. Jensen’s smile turned coy, “Actually yeah…” he trailed off voice like honey, “My phone hasn’t been able to receive calls-“
Jared opened his mouth before Jensen finished, “Let me take a look at it for you -“
“- Because I haven’t gotten one from you.”
“Oh.”
“Yeah, oh.”
Jared scratched the back of his neck awkwardly, feeling his face heat up. On the one hand he felt like a jerk for not calling him, but on the other he was completely dumbfounded that someone that gorgeous could possibly be into him! He wore short-sleeved dress shirts to work for God’s sake!
“Look,” Jensen said, looking disappointedly at his watch, “I’ve got a meeting with a realtor in like, wow ten minutes,” he made a face like he couldn’t quite believe where all his time had gone.
“But I was wondering if maybe you could show me around town? I just moved here and don’t really know anybody…”
“Really? You want me to show you around?”
“Really,” laughed Jensen, “why is that so weird?”
“Oh you know because you’re like,” Jared looked him up and down a lot intimidated by his hotness, “well have you seen you lately?”
“Have you seen you lately?” Jensen retorted back with a clever grin, eyes hungrily roaming over Jared’s body behind the dorky shirt and tie.
“Actually, I just recently got rid of all my mirrors,” he joked lamely, not accustomed to this kind of attention, “it’s a new thing I’m trying.”
Jensen smiled at him, reaching over the desk to pull a pen out of Jared’s front shirt pocket, “Here’s the hotel I’m staying at,” he said as he jotted down the address on a post-it note.
He ripped the top piece off and stuck it on Jared’s shirt, fingers lingering on the fabric of his tie for a brief moment. His grin was wickedly sexy as he said, “Pick me up at 7.”
Tongue-tied and hopelessly mortified that he sprung wood at work, all Jared could do was nod.
“See you tonight, Jared.”
He watched Jensen walk through the BuyMore and out the doors into the sunlight.
“Duuuuuuuude,” Chad slid over and pulled the post-it off his shirt.
“You are so getting laid tonight.”
The thing was, Jared figured that could actually be a very real possibility.
---
The pathetic thing was, Jared hadn’t been on a date since junior year of college. It’s not that he didn’t want to date or anything, it was just well, he tended to be kind of spastic, and nervous, and said the wrong things. He never ended up with a second date, so he sort of just stopped trying.
His plan for tonight was to get that neurosis out of the way before hand. He kinda really wanted this time to end with a second date. Or possibly more dates. For the foreseeable future.
Which is how he ended up sitting in his car across the street from Jensen’s hotel, gripping the steering wheel hard and trying not to have an asthma attack.
His cell phone buzzed in his pocket.
‘Bed him well.’
It was kind of scary how interested Chad was in his sex life.
---
His fist barely hit the vibrant green door of Jensen’s swanky hotel room before it flew open. He wondered what the guy did for a living to be able to afford a room in this place.
“Hi!” he grinned enthusiastically, dopey and wide, hands shoved deep into his pockets, “You uh ready to…”
Trailing off, his eyes raked over Jensen’s body from where he stood inside the doorway. Gone were the casual work clothes, practically indecent black jeans in the place of khakis. White cotton v-neck t-shirt layered underneath a stylish leather jacket, cut perfectly across his broad shoulders. The glasses were gone, the green of his eyes framed with the longest eyelashes Jared had ever seen on any guy. He wondered if he was wearing mascara. Or owned an eyelash curler.
But what was perhaps the hottest thing about Jensen in that moment was the sultry curl of his lips into a sexy little smile.
He was so in over his head.
“…Go?” he finished lamely.
“Depends on where you’re planning on taking me.” Jensen winked, closing the door behind him and meeting Jared in the hallway.
“If I told you I’d have to kill you.”
“Don’t be so sure about that one.” Jensen said, eyes going dark.
They walked to the elevators, an awkward silence filling the air. Or at least it was awkward to Jared. Christ. He couldn’t take Jensen to the Mexican restaurant on Sunset when the guy looked that hot. He deserved to be showed off somewhere with people more deserving of his hotness. Not eating burritos with the guy who fixes hard drives at the BuyMore.
Stepping out of the elevator, Jensen trailed behind him.
Jared blushed when he caught him leering at his ass over his shoulder.
“You nerds sure clean up good, “ he heard Jensen say, voice low with appreciation.
Way, way over his head.
---
Strangely enough, Jared managed to actually relax at the restaurant. Though that was probably from the wine segment of the evening’s wine and dine agenda.
It also helped that he was pleasantly full on enchiladas and home made salsa. A fed and buzzed Jared, was a happy Jared.
Or maybe it had something to do with how Jensen managed to make him feel calm. He couldn’t quite pinpoint what the hell it was but, there was just something about him that chilled him out. Which meant he got talkative. But what was really awesome, was that Jensen was keeping up with him.
“So yeah, turns out they only hire people with the geek gene, I’m serious,” he smiled lifting his bottle of Corona to his lips for a quick sip, “If you walked in asking for a job they’d take one look at you and laugh in your face.”
Jensen looked at him incredulously, mock offended, “What? No way! I’ve got mad geek, don’t be fooled by the pretty face.”
“Hah, kinda hard not to. Have you looked in a mirror lately?”
“Nah, not really. I got rid of them all. It’s a new thing I’m trying, a friend recommended it you know?” Jensen said, lips pulled into a quirky grin around his wine glass.
“Some mirror is really missing out somewhere then.”
Jared smiled at the sound of Jensen’s laugh, those crinkles around his eyes made his stomach flop around like something really… floppy. Shut up, metaphors are hard to come up with in the face of so much hot.
“And hey, I’m serious, I’ve totally got some geek in me,” said Jensen.
Jared tried not to find a double meaning in that comment. He tried. And failed, spectacularly. Oh my God.
“You might be the only person to take offense at not being called a geek,” Jared said with amusement, “I’m impressed. Yet, not convinced in the slightest.”
“Oh! Oh, really?”
Jensen sat up, leaning over the tabletop, sensing some sort of challenge and ready to win it, “Okay how about this,” he started, “I went to comic con last year, totally got Tricia Helfer’s autograph.”
Jared thought it was cute, as he sat back, a smug look on his face.
“Uh yeah, been to comic con every year since I was 13. Not gonna cut it man,” he shrugged his shoulders sympathetically, “Valiant effort. You do get points for being a BSG fan.”
“Can’t say I didn’t try.”
Jared felt a silence peeking out, threatening to kill the roll of conversation. Of course his mouth couldn’t let that happen.
“So, I’m sitting here trying to figure out what’s wrong with you, I mean going on a date with me? Yikes man.” He teased, “Wait. You’re not like, a cannibal are you? Because that might be cool, I’ve never met one before…”
There that laugh was again, “No, not a cannibal, the boring version is I just got out of a long relationship so I may come with some baggage.”
“Well I could be your very own baggage handler.”
Wow, Jared way to get a hold on the brain/mouth filter there buddy.
Quickly, he tried to save the moment, “So uh,” he started peeling the label off his beer nervously, “This relationship, is it the reason you moved out here from-?”
God, wrong question Dude. Why did his inner monologue sound like Chad? He needed new friends.
“DC, and yeah… after, after I’d realized that all my friends were his friends, and that everything about Washington reminded me about,” He paused looking nostalgic, “Tim, I knew I needed a change. Needed to start over.”
Jared needed to lighten the mood, right now.
“Wow, you went out with a Tim?”
Jensen rolled his eyes a bit but smiled just the same, “Well what about you Mr. Geek, you got any skeletons in your closet,” he paused, eyes searching, “any secrets? Bad relationships?”
“Well, in eleventh grade I-“
“Dude, you have to go back that far?”
“Hey, I’m just the manager of the Nerd Herd at a BuyMore, what sort of secrets do you think I have? I mean, yeah sure I once stole a Butterfingers from the AM-PM and the guilt comes back every once in a while, but then I think about how awesome that chocolate bar was and you know? It was all worth it in the end.”
Jensen smiled, different somehow, tongue poking out between his teeth and ducking his head, like this was the smile of all smiles, the most sincere, “I like you, Jared,” he said simply.
Feeling something warm bloom in his chest and spread out towards the tips of his fingers, Jared smiled back at him, shy and earnest.
“Yeah. Yeah, me too.”
---
“So next item on the docket,” Jared clapped his hands together as they walked down the sidewalk, city nightlife all around them.
“Should I be scared?” Jensen asked skeptically.
“Hey, that candy store was awesome and you know it!”
“Jared, if you had the choice, you would go out on a date with the candy store over me.”
“What that’s not-!” he deflated, “Yeah, it’s probably true. Candy owns my heart like no other. If it was legal I’d marry it.”
“For some reason I don’t doubt that.”
“Okay so, music? Yay? Nay?”
“Uh… if you mean do I like music, then my answer is,” Jensen took a breath, “I guess?”
“Dude, did you just say you don’t like music?” Jared said, shock dripping from his words. It wasn’t possible for someone to not like music.
“No, no it’s just, I don’t really listen to it. Don’t really have the time.”
“What? Come on, there’s always time for music! What’s your favorite band?”
“Uh...” Jensen paused, as if he was trying to think of the first band that popped into his head, “Coldplay?”
“If you have to take that long to think of your favorite band, you don’t have one man. That’s just, “ Jared looked over at him, “sad.”
“Well what’s your favorite band then huh?” Jensen nudged his shoulder against Jared’s, and Jared felt on top of the world from just that little gesture.
Without hesitation, Jared kept his eyes on Jensen’s, “Journey.”
“Journey?”
“Journey.” He nodded, “Come on tell me that ‘Don’t Stop Believing’ isn’t the best karaoke tune of all time man. You just can’t argue against it. It’s solid fact.”
“I’ve never even heard of Journey,” Jensen blushed a bit, “God you must think I’m a loser!”
Jensen laughed at himself, the flush rising against his cheeks. It was adorable.
“Nah, not a loser. Do I think you live in a cave? Yes. Yes I do.”
“Great, I’m not a geek, I don’t listen to music. This must be your worst date ever, right?”
“Please, you kidding? I took my cousin to the Junior Prom, this is nothing.”
It was something all right, something beyond awesome. Considering his dating track record, this was the best date Jared had ever been on. And it wasn’t even over yet.
---
The club was small but comfortable. The atmosphere very laid-back, and Jared didn’t feel intimidated by any of the patrons. Everyone seemed to be normal and easygoing, just looking to kick back and have a good time. That was why he liked it here. It was one of the only places downtown he actually didn’t mind coming to. Plus they always booked the good bands.
Coming back from the bar with two bottles of Heineken, he handed one over to Jensen with a grin and sat down beside him on the plush couch just out of the way of the dance floor.
“These guys are good!” Jensen shouted over the noise of the band.
“Yeah, they are,” he said, watching as Jensen took a sip of his beer.
Every once in a while he was struck by just how incredibly gorgeous Jensen was. The dim lighting of the club just made him look even more amazing. It was just really hard to believe this was really happening right now.
Jensen must have noticed he was staring, must have felt a little uncomfortable from the weight of Jared’s gaze because he kept looking back over his shoulder every few minutes, looking back at the door. Like maybe he wanted to leave.
Great, way to go and ruin the perfect night by acting like a creeper. Score one for Team Padalecki.
Suddenly Jensen was grabbing his hand, threading their fingers and practically manhandling him up off the couch.
“Let’s dance,” He demanded, not giving Jared a choice.
“Oh, I’m not- I’m not really a dancer,” Jared protested weakly, being dragged into the center of the crowded dance floor.
Jensen pushed up close against him, grinding his hips dangerously slow against Jared’s own. Jared’s mouth went dry, focusing only on how hot the blaze of Jensen’s eyes was and the warm press of his body.
Jensen pushed off with a teasing grin, circling back around Jared to dance behind him, close against him. His hands trailed down Jared’s back, ghosting against his hips and stopping to spread his palms wide against his ass. Jared braved looking over his shoulder and Jensen was crouched near the ground, face pressed against the seat of Jared’s jeans.
Jesus fucking Christ, it was the most erotic thing he’d ever seen. Now if only he and Jensen could be doing this in private. Preferably in the nude.
He heard a groan somewhere in the distance, but for all he knew that could have just been himself. Yes, Jared’s jeans were getting tighter. And no, that wasn’t a pack of Mentos in his pocket either.
Some guy passed out a few feet away, but Jared chalked it up to too much Tequila. He probably should have checked to see if the guy was okay, but Jensen had some how gotten back in front of him. He reached up and curled his hand around Jared’s neck.
Leaning over he whispered hotly, “Let’s get out of here.”
Oh. God. Yes. Please. Thank. You. Very. Much.
Jared didn’t get the chance to answer as Jensen practically pulled his arm out of its socket, dragging him out of the club and back out onto the street.
Oh he was definitely getting laid.
---
>> part two.