Fic: The Love Gods [2/?]
Title: The Love Gods [2/?]
Pairing: Puck/Kurt
Rating: PG-13
Summary: A newly reconciled Burt and Finn set about finding the one thing that will make their new family complete: a boyfriend for Kurt.
Disclaimer: I do not own Glee. The events within are entirely fictional.
Word Count: 3445
Previous Parts: Chapter One
Finn isn’t entirely sure what to expect from their potential boyfriend appraisal masquerading as a Glee Guys Bonding Night. He already knows most of the guys pretty well, and he’s pretty sure that Mike is the one Kurt should be with; but he respects the fact that Burt wants a chance to at least meet the guy before trying to set him up with his only son. Kurt knows that Finn has invited a few friends around, and if he thought that was strange, he never said so. He’s downstairs, moisturising or sewing or whatever it is he does when Finn isn’t around, so Finn and Burt have time to discuss tactics whilst laying out the dip and chips. They decide to each spend some time talking to the guys, getting to know a bit more about them so that they can work out which one is right for Kurt. Finn’s memory is usually pretty abysmal, but he had tuna for lunch, and that’s supposed to be good brain food so he’s hoping he remembers more than he normally does after a conversation with Rachel.
Artie arrives first. Finn greets him with a friendly smile, and though they haven’t spoken much before they fall easily into a conversation about video games. Burt offers his hand in greeting, and Artie shakes it with a smile. Finn pours them both a drink and tries not to act as impatient as he feels. Artie’s great and all, but he was only invited so that neither he nor Kurt would get suspicious. Burt had mentioned Artie when they were considering possible boyfriends, as Artie is the only other boy Kurt talks about on a semi-regular basis. However, Artie and Tina are still happily dating so they’d had to scrap that idea and refocus their attention on single boys.
Mike and Matt arrive together, both wearing their letterman jackets. Burt studies them as closely as the appearance of normalcy would allow, clapping Mike on the back as he steers them into the lounge. He feels a bit like a director auditioning actors for a part. The theatre reference makes him think of Kurt, and the reason he’s doing all of this in the first place, and he smiles. It will be worth all the massively awkward conversations with Finn if they can pull this off and he can he see his son truly happy for the first time since his mother died. Burt grabs himself a beer and sits down opposite Mike.
Puck is the last to arrive. Finn can practically see Burt cross the other boy off his list the moment he catches sight of Puck’s newly grown back mohawk and heavy combat boots. Finn doesn’t care. Puck wasn’t even on his list anyway.
“Evening Mr Hummel,” Puck says, holding out his hand for Burt to shake. Burt fixes him with a calculating look. He’s heard the name Noah Puckerman a lot since Finn and Carole moved in, and so far he’s yet to hear one good thing about the other boy. Frankly, he’s surprised that Finn even allowed him into the house considering what had gone down between him, Puck and the Fabray girl. But Finn explained that he was trying to work through his issues with his former friend for the sake of Glee club, and Burt has to admire that. He also believes in judging a person by what you know from personal experience, not from word of mouth, so he shakes Noah’s hand firmly and offers him a guarded smile.
The look of surprise on Puck’s face tells Burt that he did the right thing.
The task that Finn and Burt have set themselves turns out to be much harder than Finn had anticipated. It’s very difficult to engage one single person in conversation, so he ends up talking to Mike and Artie about math class and trying to keep who said what straight in his head. There’s no way Burt is going to let Kurt date a dumbass, so Finn needs to try and find out whether Mike’s grades are likely to meet with approval or not. Eventually, he learns that Mike does pretty well in math, terrible in history and geography, and about average in everything else. It’s better than Finn does, but that’s not really saying much. He can only hope it will be good enough for Burt. He wonders idly whether Rachel would consider tutoring Mike if Finn promised to learn one of her sappy showtunes for Glee in return.
Matt is quiet. That’s the first thing Burt notices about him. That’s okay though; Kurt has always been more of a talker than a listener anyway. And it’s not a weird sort of quiet; Matt just seems like someone who doesn’t feel the need to talk just to fill in the air. Burt likes that. It reminds him of himself. He also notices that Matt’s eyes light up when he talks about Glee, just like Kurt’s do. Another point for the softly spoken jock.
Finn discovers that Mike likes sushi and old comic books. Kurt is unlikely to approve of the Batman obsession, but Finn figures that since whoever dates Kurt is going to have to deal with Kurt’s GaGa obsession, it’s only fair that Kurt should have to accept whatever interests his boyfriend might have as well. Plus, he’s pretty sure that Kurt actually owns a pair of black tights, so maybe Kurt wouldn’t mind that much anyway?
Burt makes the mistake of asking Artie about chess, just so it wouldn’t seem like he was only interested in what Matt had to say, and learns more than he ever wanted to know about the movement of knights and pawns.
Puck is the only one who isn’t engaged in conversation, so he is the only one who sees Kurt stick his head around the doorframe, wrinkle his nose in disgust at the sight of the game playing on the television, and then disappear. Grinning, Puck sets his drink down on the table and stands up, heading towards the door Kurt had moved from.
“Hey Kurt,” he says casually as he enters the kitchen, though he’s pretty sure he’s never said a casual hello to the other boy before.
“Hello Puck,” Kurt replies, because Kurt is nothing if not polite. He keeps his back to the jock as he fills the kettle. “How is the game going?” He doesn’t care either way, but Puck obviously followed him for a reason, and if Kurt can distract him with sports talk then he might be able to avoid whatever verbal attack Puck is planning.
“Two outs, bottom of the eighth. One ball, two strikes, runners on first and third,” Puck replies.
“I have no idea what that means.”
Puck smirks. “It means we’re one out away from losing the game.”
“Oh. That’s a shame,” Kurt says distractedly. Hell, he’s not even sure what game they’re talking about.
Puck chuckles. “Yeah. A real shame.” There’s a brief pause. “You should come watch with us.”
Kurt’s head whips around so fast he nearly gives himself whiplash. “And why would I want to do that?” he asks, arching his eyebrow in that perfect mix of disdain and apathy even as his stomach lurches at the thought that someone other than Mercedes might want to spend time with him on something that isn’t Glee related. He’s momentarily disgusted with himself for being so pathetic that even spending time with Puck seems novel and worthwhile.
“I dunno,” Puck says, shrugging. “But you can be unpredictable like that, so I figured I’d better ask.”
Kurt never gets to ask Puck what he means by ‘like that’, because Finn comes barrelling into the room, empty bowl in one hand and his trademark grin on his face. “There you are!” he says, shooting a curious glance at Puck. “I was wondering where you disappeared to. Hey Kurt, are there any more of those orange chips you gave me earlier? The guys really like them.”
Kurt opens the cupboard door and pulls out a bag. “Low-fat, sweet potato,” he says proudly. “Healthy and delicious.” He hands the bag to Finn, who looks horrified at the thought of eating junk food that isn’t really junk food.
Puck laughs again. “Don’t worry Hudson,” he drawls. “I won’t tell if you don’t.”
Finn smiles, turning around to head back into the lounge. Puck follows. “You coming, Kurt?” he asks as he reaches the door.
Surprising even himself, Kurt nods.
“Urgh,” Kurt says as he sits down next to his dad. “Stirrup pants.” He turns away from the eyesore that is baseball uniforms. Burt rolls his eyes.
“I would have thought you’d be right on board with the stirrup pants,” Puck remarks. “I mean, they’re all tight and shit, clinging to every curve of every muscle…” He trails off, grinning wickedly.
Kurt flushes scarlet, but when he turns back to the screen he cocks his head as though re-evaluating his position. The pitcher lifts his leg, ready to throw, and the camera angle shifts. Burt’s high definition plasma screen is now showing a close up of gloriously toned, baseball player ass. Kurt swallows reflexively.
“And you call me a pervert,” Puck says. Kurt picks up a cushion and hurls it at the other boy. Puck catches it deftly in one hand, setting it behind his head. “Cheers,” he says, winking at a still-blushing Kurt.
Burt watches the whole thing with a confused frown. He’s never seen Kurt act like that with another boy before. He hates himself for thinking the word ‘normal’, but he thinks it all the same. Finn would never tease Kurt like that. Certainly not about checking out other guys. It might have been a long time since Burt was a teenager, but he still remembers what it was like. He remembers that the best way to show that you didn’t have a problem with something your friend did was to make fun of him for it. Teasing is a form of acceptance unlike any other, especially amongst the young. And whilst he still doesn’t want Kurt dating the mohawked teen, Burt thinks he’d be happy to encourage their friendship. If Noah is cool enough with Kurt’s sexuality to joke about it, then he’s probably worth keeping around.
*
“I’m sorry about earlier,” Finn says nervously. “With Puck.”
“What about it?” Kurt asks, taking the wet plate from Finn and drying it carefully.
“You know…the comments about the pants and stuff…”
“Oh, that,” Kurt replies. “Don’t worry about it. He was only teasing.”
Finn stares at Kurt as though the shorter boy had gone completely insane. Kurt has to admit it’s a perfectly understandable response. He’s never described any interaction with Puck as being ‘only teasing’ before, and quite rightly so. But there is a distinct difference between the Puck who snarls at Kurt as he’s dragging him over to the dumpster and the one who had hung out in his living room this evening. Kurt has seen glimpses of this other Puck before, when the jock chose Glee over football and when he was working his ass off trying to prove to Quinn that he’d be a good father, but he’s never had the chance to get to know him better. He never really wanted to, to be honest.
“Is that okay with you? The teasing, I mean,” Finn asks. “Because I’ll get him to stop if it does.”
Kurt shakes his head, touched by the concern of his almost brother. “I don’t mind it,” he says truthfully. “And it definitely beats being tossed into the dumpster.”
“Yeah,” Finn sighs. “I guess it would.”
“Thanks anyway,” Kurt says brightly, drying the last of the plates and putting it in the cupboard before disappearing back into the lounge, leaving a contemplative Finn standing in the kitchen.
*
Getting Mike to ask Kurt out proves to be surprisingly easy. When they’d found a quiet moment to talk, the morning after the bonding night, both Finn and Burt agreed that the Asian was the best option, and so Finn had been tasked with finding a way to get Mike interested.
One of the few things Finn could remember from his conversations with Matt and Mike was that Mike had said he was a fan of some guy called Gene Kelly. When he told Burt the other man’s face lit up, and he started talking about some old movie that both Kurt and his mother had loved. Finn didn’t pay much attention, but when he passed the movie theatre on his way to school and saw a billboard advertising Nostalgia Week, featuring a little movie called Singin’ in the Rain he knew he’d found a solution. It was too good to be mere coincidence. It was like a sign from God, telling him he was on the right track.
When he arrives at school he makes a beeline for Mike, dragging him away from what was bound to have been a fascinating conversation with Brittany about the taste of clouds. “Hey man,” Finn says, smiling at Mike’s confused face. “How’s it going?”
“Fine,” Mike replies. “You?”
“I’m great!” Finn replies, a little too enthusiastically. Mike starts to look worried. “Hey, did you know they’re showing Singin’ in the Rain down at the Odeon next week?”
“Really? Cool.”
“Yeah. Kurt’s pretty excited. It’s not really my thing but I’ll probably end up going with him because Mercedes is busy and he doesn’t have anyone else to go with,” Finn remarks, trying to sound as off-hand as possible. “What about you?”
“I’ll probably check it out by myself,” Mike replies. “Unless I can bribe Matt to come with me.”
“Hey, you and Kurt should go together,” Finn suggests, as though the idea has only just occurred to him.
“You think so?”
“Well it beats going by yourself, right? And I’m sure Kurt would rather see it with someone who can properly appreciate the dancing and stuff,” Finn says. “Plus, it would mean I could still take Rachel out for dinner like I promised her. Everyone wins.”
When Mike doesn’t say anything, Finn claps him soundly on the back. “Thanks man, you’re a lifesaver,” he exclaims, heading off to his first class before Mike has a chance to protest.
He’s so proud of himself and his clearly genius plan that he forgets all about the argument he and Rachel had about the validity of punk covers as a musical genre, and kisses her soundly on the lips as he sits down next to her.
Oh yeah, he’s the man.
*
On the night of Kurt’s first ever date, Finn makes sure he is the one to answer the door. He wants a chance to see whether Mike has made any obvious effort for the evening, to see whether he seems genuinely excited about spending time with Kurt. The other boy is his usual friendly self, nothing more, but Finn refuses to be discouraged. He invites Mike inside, informing him that Kurt is just finishing a call to Mercedes. Kurt also has been worryingly blasé about the whole thing. He didn’t even ask Finn if his outfit looked okay. It’s his first date; he really ought to be more excited. Granted, Kurt probably doesn’t realise he’s going on a date, but by the end of the evening Finn is hoping that Mike will have left him in no doubt.
Burt plays his part perfectly, shaking Mike’s hand and making him promise to have Kurt home by eleven; all the while ignoring the baffled looks Kurt keeps sending in his direction. When Mike’s car pulls out of the driveway he turns to Finn and smiles. “So far, so good.”
*
“So he’s hopping around the dressing room like a pogo stick and then he trips over his own pads.”
Kurt bursts out laughing, the image of the notoriously clumsy Finn falling over his own equipment is just too delicious to resist. Once upon a time he’d found the quarterback’s lack of coordination to be sweet and endearing; now it’s either hilarious, as in Mike’s story, or annoying, as in the other morning when Finn walked into the table and spilt scalding hot coffee all over Kurt’s new Gucci sweater.
“He tried to stop himself so he grabbed the first thing his hands touched,” Mike continues, wiping tears of laughter from his own eyes. “Unfortunately that happened to be coach’s shorts.”
Kurt’s eyes widen in anticipation. “He didn’t?!” he gasps.
“He did,” Mike cries. “Pulled ‘em right down.”
“Oh my God!”
“Apparently Puck isn’t the only one who likes to go commando,” Mike adds, which makes Kurt want to throw up more than laugh.
They’re sat in the local Starbucks, enjoying a coffee after the movie, and Kurt is having more fun that he’s had in a long time. The movie was as fabulous as it has ever been, and when Mike suggests they grab a coffee afterwards Kurt agrees without hesitation. He’d been worried at first about running into someone from school, and the damage that Mike’s reputation would suffer if they did. They saw a couple of freshmen outside the cinema, but Mike had just given them a friendly wave before asking Kurt whether he wanted a drink or not. When questioned, the jock had told Kurt that between Glee club and football he reckoned they could probably call themselves friends now, and that anyone who had a problem with it wasn’t worth Mike’s time anyway. Kurt had beamed at that, and splashed out on jumbo size cherry slushies to celebrate.
Mike reciprocated by buying the coffees and they managed to find two comfortable chairs to sink into away from the busy front of the shop. Kurt lets himself relax a little; telling Mike about how he and Mercedes first bonded over a lime green scarf the diva had worn to school one morning, and about how one of his earliest memories is watching My Fair Lady with his mother. Mike is full of entertaining stories of locker room shenanigans, and Kurt is now armed with a wealth of blackmail material that should make life with Finn even more interesting than it was before. They chat about Glee too; what performances have been their favourite so far, and what songs they’d like to sing in the future.
All in all, it’s a thoroughly pleasant evening.
*
When Kurt arrives home at quarter to eleven he is grinning from ear to ear. It makes Finn smile to see the other boy so obviously happy. The date must have gone even better than Finn had hoped for.
“Good night?” Burt asks, trying to sound nonchalant and innocently curious. He fails miserably.
“It was, thanks,” Kurt replies, sitting down next to Finn.
“Are you going to see each other again?” Finn asks eagerly.
“I dare say so,” Kurt replies drily. “Considering we have three classes together on Monday.” He grins again. “Guess what?”
“What?” Finn asks, unsure whether Kurt’s reply meant that he and Mike would be going out again or not.
“Mike likes Mercedes!” Kurt exclaims happily. “Isn’t that fantastic!”
Finn looks away so Kurt can’t see his face fall. This isn’t how it’s supposed to go! Mike was supposed to take Kurt out and be de-straightened by Kurt’s awesomeness. And Kurt should be heartbroken that Mike likes Mercedes instead of him, not happy!
“That’s nice Kurt,” Burt says, his voice showing no sign of disappointment. “Mercedes is a great girl.”
Now Finn knows exactly where Kurt gets his acting skills.
“I know! Unfortunately his knowledge of rhythm and blues is woefully inadequate for someone hoping to date Cedes, but with my help we should be able to fix that,” Kurt says excitedly.
“You’re going to help him get Mercedes?” Finn asks.
“Of course,” Kurt replies. “Mike’s a nice guy, and Cedes deserves to have some love in her life, don’t you think?” He stares at Finn as though daring him to disagree.
“Yeah. I think they’d make a great couple,” Finn replies hurriedly. It’s not exactly a lie either. He’d just rather see Mike with Kurt.
“Excellent,” says Kurt, sounding pleased. “Well, I’m going to go to bed. I’ve got a busy day tomorrow.”
Burt waits until Kurt has left the room to sigh. “Not quite the outcome we were going for.”
“No,” Finn replies. He scrubs Mike out of the ‘Kurt and his first boyfriend’ portrait he has drawn in his mind and replaces him with Matt. Still works, he thinks. “What did you think of Matt?”
“I like Matt,” Burt says quickly. “Matt is good.”
Matt Rutherford it is then.
Pairing: Puck/Kurt
Rating: PG-13
Summary: A newly reconciled Burt and Finn set about finding the one thing that will make their new family complete: a boyfriend for Kurt.
Disclaimer: I do not own Glee. The events within are entirely fictional.
Word Count: 3445
Previous Parts: Chapter One
Finn isn’t entirely sure what to expect from their potential boyfriend appraisal masquerading as a Glee Guys Bonding Night. He already knows most of the guys pretty well, and he’s pretty sure that Mike is the one Kurt should be with; but he respects the fact that Burt wants a chance to at least meet the guy before trying to set him up with his only son. Kurt knows that Finn has invited a few friends around, and if he thought that was strange, he never said so. He’s downstairs, moisturising or sewing or whatever it is he does when Finn isn’t around, so Finn and Burt have time to discuss tactics whilst laying out the dip and chips. They decide to each spend some time talking to the guys, getting to know a bit more about them so that they can work out which one is right for Kurt. Finn’s memory is usually pretty abysmal, but he had tuna for lunch, and that’s supposed to be good brain food so he’s hoping he remembers more than he normally does after a conversation with Rachel.
Artie arrives first. Finn greets him with a friendly smile, and though they haven’t spoken much before they fall easily into a conversation about video games. Burt offers his hand in greeting, and Artie shakes it with a smile. Finn pours them both a drink and tries not to act as impatient as he feels. Artie’s great and all, but he was only invited so that neither he nor Kurt would get suspicious. Burt had mentioned Artie when they were considering possible boyfriends, as Artie is the only other boy Kurt talks about on a semi-regular basis. However, Artie and Tina are still happily dating so they’d had to scrap that idea and refocus their attention on single boys.
Mike and Matt arrive together, both wearing their letterman jackets. Burt studies them as closely as the appearance of normalcy would allow, clapping Mike on the back as he steers them into the lounge. He feels a bit like a director auditioning actors for a part. The theatre reference makes him think of Kurt, and the reason he’s doing all of this in the first place, and he smiles. It will be worth all the massively awkward conversations with Finn if they can pull this off and he can he see his son truly happy for the first time since his mother died. Burt grabs himself a beer and sits down opposite Mike.
Puck is the last to arrive. Finn can practically see Burt cross the other boy off his list the moment he catches sight of Puck’s newly grown back mohawk and heavy combat boots. Finn doesn’t care. Puck wasn’t even on his list anyway.
“Evening Mr Hummel,” Puck says, holding out his hand for Burt to shake. Burt fixes him with a calculating look. He’s heard the name Noah Puckerman a lot since Finn and Carole moved in, and so far he’s yet to hear one good thing about the other boy. Frankly, he’s surprised that Finn even allowed him into the house considering what had gone down between him, Puck and the Fabray girl. But Finn explained that he was trying to work through his issues with his former friend for the sake of Glee club, and Burt has to admire that. He also believes in judging a person by what you know from personal experience, not from word of mouth, so he shakes Noah’s hand firmly and offers him a guarded smile.
The look of surprise on Puck’s face tells Burt that he did the right thing.
The task that Finn and Burt have set themselves turns out to be much harder than Finn had anticipated. It’s very difficult to engage one single person in conversation, so he ends up talking to Mike and Artie about math class and trying to keep who said what straight in his head. There’s no way Burt is going to let Kurt date a dumbass, so Finn needs to try and find out whether Mike’s grades are likely to meet with approval or not. Eventually, he learns that Mike does pretty well in math, terrible in history and geography, and about average in everything else. It’s better than Finn does, but that’s not really saying much. He can only hope it will be good enough for Burt. He wonders idly whether Rachel would consider tutoring Mike if Finn promised to learn one of her sappy showtunes for Glee in return.
Matt is quiet. That’s the first thing Burt notices about him. That’s okay though; Kurt has always been more of a talker than a listener anyway. And it’s not a weird sort of quiet; Matt just seems like someone who doesn’t feel the need to talk just to fill in the air. Burt likes that. It reminds him of himself. He also notices that Matt’s eyes light up when he talks about Glee, just like Kurt’s do. Another point for the softly spoken jock.
Finn discovers that Mike likes sushi and old comic books. Kurt is unlikely to approve of the Batman obsession, but Finn figures that since whoever dates Kurt is going to have to deal with Kurt’s GaGa obsession, it’s only fair that Kurt should have to accept whatever interests his boyfriend might have as well. Plus, he’s pretty sure that Kurt actually owns a pair of black tights, so maybe Kurt wouldn’t mind that much anyway?
Burt makes the mistake of asking Artie about chess, just so it wouldn’t seem like he was only interested in what Matt had to say, and learns more than he ever wanted to know about the movement of knights and pawns.
Puck is the only one who isn’t engaged in conversation, so he is the only one who sees Kurt stick his head around the doorframe, wrinkle his nose in disgust at the sight of the game playing on the television, and then disappear. Grinning, Puck sets his drink down on the table and stands up, heading towards the door Kurt had moved from.
“Hey Kurt,” he says casually as he enters the kitchen, though he’s pretty sure he’s never said a casual hello to the other boy before.
“Hello Puck,” Kurt replies, because Kurt is nothing if not polite. He keeps his back to the jock as he fills the kettle. “How is the game going?” He doesn’t care either way, but Puck obviously followed him for a reason, and if Kurt can distract him with sports talk then he might be able to avoid whatever verbal attack Puck is planning.
“Two outs, bottom of the eighth. One ball, two strikes, runners on first and third,” Puck replies.
“I have no idea what that means.”
Puck smirks. “It means we’re one out away from losing the game.”
“Oh. That’s a shame,” Kurt says distractedly. Hell, he’s not even sure what game they’re talking about.
Puck chuckles. “Yeah. A real shame.” There’s a brief pause. “You should come watch with us.”
Kurt’s head whips around so fast he nearly gives himself whiplash. “And why would I want to do that?” he asks, arching his eyebrow in that perfect mix of disdain and apathy even as his stomach lurches at the thought that someone other than Mercedes might want to spend time with him on something that isn’t Glee related. He’s momentarily disgusted with himself for being so pathetic that even spending time with Puck seems novel and worthwhile.
“I dunno,” Puck says, shrugging. “But you can be unpredictable like that, so I figured I’d better ask.”
Kurt never gets to ask Puck what he means by ‘like that’, because Finn comes barrelling into the room, empty bowl in one hand and his trademark grin on his face. “There you are!” he says, shooting a curious glance at Puck. “I was wondering where you disappeared to. Hey Kurt, are there any more of those orange chips you gave me earlier? The guys really like them.”
Kurt opens the cupboard door and pulls out a bag. “Low-fat, sweet potato,” he says proudly. “Healthy and delicious.” He hands the bag to Finn, who looks horrified at the thought of eating junk food that isn’t really junk food.
Puck laughs again. “Don’t worry Hudson,” he drawls. “I won’t tell if you don’t.”
Finn smiles, turning around to head back into the lounge. Puck follows. “You coming, Kurt?” he asks as he reaches the door.
Surprising even himself, Kurt nods.
“Urgh,” Kurt says as he sits down next to his dad. “Stirrup pants.” He turns away from the eyesore that is baseball uniforms. Burt rolls his eyes.
“I would have thought you’d be right on board with the stirrup pants,” Puck remarks. “I mean, they’re all tight and shit, clinging to every curve of every muscle…” He trails off, grinning wickedly.
Kurt flushes scarlet, but when he turns back to the screen he cocks his head as though re-evaluating his position. The pitcher lifts his leg, ready to throw, and the camera angle shifts. Burt’s high definition plasma screen is now showing a close up of gloriously toned, baseball player ass. Kurt swallows reflexively.
“And you call me a pervert,” Puck says. Kurt picks up a cushion and hurls it at the other boy. Puck catches it deftly in one hand, setting it behind his head. “Cheers,” he says, winking at a still-blushing Kurt.
Burt watches the whole thing with a confused frown. He’s never seen Kurt act like that with another boy before. He hates himself for thinking the word ‘normal’, but he thinks it all the same. Finn would never tease Kurt like that. Certainly not about checking out other guys. It might have been a long time since Burt was a teenager, but he still remembers what it was like. He remembers that the best way to show that you didn’t have a problem with something your friend did was to make fun of him for it. Teasing is a form of acceptance unlike any other, especially amongst the young. And whilst he still doesn’t want Kurt dating the mohawked teen, Burt thinks he’d be happy to encourage their friendship. If Noah is cool enough with Kurt’s sexuality to joke about it, then he’s probably worth keeping around.
*
“I’m sorry about earlier,” Finn says nervously. “With Puck.”
“What about it?” Kurt asks, taking the wet plate from Finn and drying it carefully.
“You know…the comments about the pants and stuff…”
“Oh, that,” Kurt replies. “Don’t worry about it. He was only teasing.”
Finn stares at Kurt as though the shorter boy had gone completely insane. Kurt has to admit it’s a perfectly understandable response. He’s never described any interaction with Puck as being ‘only teasing’ before, and quite rightly so. But there is a distinct difference between the Puck who snarls at Kurt as he’s dragging him over to the dumpster and the one who had hung out in his living room this evening. Kurt has seen glimpses of this other Puck before, when the jock chose Glee over football and when he was working his ass off trying to prove to Quinn that he’d be a good father, but he’s never had the chance to get to know him better. He never really wanted to, to be honest.
“Is that okay with you? The teasing, I mean,” Finn asks. “Because I’ll get him to stop if it does.”
Kurt shakes his head, touched by the concern of his almost brother. “I don’t mind it,” he says truthfully. “And it definitely beats being tossed into the dumpster.”
“Yeah,” Finn sighs. “I guess it would.”
“Thanks anyway,” Kurt says brightly, drying the last of the plates and putting it in the cupboard before disappearing back into the lounge, leaving a contemplative Finn standing in the kitchen.
*
Getting Mike to ask Kurt out proves to be surprisingly easy. When they’d found a quiet moment to talk, the morning after the bonding night, both Finn and Burt agreed that the Asian was the best option, and so Finn had been tasked with finding a way to get Mike interested.
One of the few things Finn could remember from his conversations with Matt and Mike was that Mike had said he was a fan of some guy called Gene Kelly. When he told Burt the other man’s face lit up, and he started talking about some old movie that both Kurt and his mother had loved. Finn didn’t pay much attention, but when he passed the movie theatre on his way to school and saw a billboard advertising Nostalgia Week, featuring a little movie called Singin’ in the Rain he knew he’d found a solution. It was too good to be mere coincidence. It was like a sign from God, telling him he was on the right track.
When he arrives at school he makes a beeline for Mike, dragging him away from what was bound to have been a fascinating conversation with Brittany about the taste of clouds. “Hey man,” Finn says, smiling at Mike’s confused face. “How’s it going?”
“Fine,” Mike replies. “You?”
“I’m great!” Finn replies, a little too enthusiastically. Mike starts to look worried. “Hey, did you know they’re showing Singin’ in the Rain down at the Odeon next week?”
“Really? Cool.”
“Yeah. Kurt’s pretty excited. It’s not really my thing but I’ll probably end up going with him because Mercedes is busy and he doesn’t have anyone else to go with,” Finn remarks, trying to sound as off-hand as possible. “What about you?”
“I’ll probably check it out by myself,” Mike replies. “Unless I can bribe Matt to come with me.”
“Hey, you and Kurt should go together,” Finn suggests, as though the idea has only just occurred to him.
“You think so?”
“Well it beats going by yourself, right? And I’m sure Kurt would rather see it with someone who can properly appreciate the dancing and stuff,” Finn says. “Plus, it would mean I could still take Rachel out for dinner like I promised her. Everyone wins.”
When Mike doesn’t say anything, Finn claps him soundly on the back. “Thanks man, you’re a lifesaver,” he exclaims, heading off to his first class before Mike has a chance to protest.
He’s so proud of himself and his clearly genius plan that he forgets all about the argument he and Rachel had about the validity of punk covers as a musical genre, and kisses her soundly on the lips as he sits down next to her.
Oh yeah, he’s the man.
*
On the night of Kurt’s first ever date, Finn makes sure he is the one to answer the door. He wants a chance to see whether Mike has made any obvious effort for the evening, to see whether he seems genuinely excited about spending time with Kurt. The other boy is his usual friendly self, nothing more, but Finn refuses to be discouraged. He invites Mike inside, informing him that Kurt is just finishing a call to Mercedes. Kurt also has been worryingly blasé about the whole thing. He didn’t even ask Finn if his outfit looked okay. It’s his first date; he really ought to be more excited. Granted, Kurt probably doesn’t realise he’s going on a date, but by the end of the evening Finn is hoping that Mike will have left him in no doubt.
Burt plays his part perfectly, shaking Mike’s hand and making him promise to have Kurt home by eleven; all the while ignoring the baffled looks Kurt keeps sending in his direction. When Mike’s car pulls out of the driveway he turns to Finn and smiles. “So far, so good.”
*
“So he’s hopping around the dressing room like a pogo stick and then he trips over his own pads.”
Kurt bursts out laughing, the image of the notoriously clumsy Finn falling over his own equipment is just too delicious to resist. Once upon a time he’d found the quarterback’s lack of coordination to be sweet and endearing; now it’s either hilarious, as in Mike’s story, or annoying, as in the other morning when Finn walked into the table and spilt scalding hot coffee all over Kurt’s new Gucci sweater.
“He tried to stop himself so he grabbed the first thing his hands touched,” Mike continues, wiping tears of laughter from his own eyes. “Unfortunately that happened to be coach’s shorts.”
Kurt’s eyes widen in anticipation. “He didn’t?!” he gasps.
“He did,” Mike cries. “Pulled ‘em right down.”
“Oh my God!”
“Apparently Puck isn’t the only one who likes to go commando,” Mike adds, which makes Kurt want to throw up more than laugh.
They’re sat in the local Starbucks, enjoying a coffee after the movie, and Kurt is having more fun that he’s had in a long time. The movie was as fabulous as it has ever been, and when Mike suggests they grab a coffee afterwards Kurt agrees without hesitation. He’d been worried at first about running into someone from school, and the damage that Mike’s reputation would suffer if they did. They saw a couple of freshmen outside the cinema, but Mike had just given them a friendly wave before asking Kurt whether he wanted a drink or not. When questioned, the jock had told Kurt that between Glee club and football he reckoned they could probably call themselves friends now, and that anyone who had a problem with it wasn’t worth Mike’s time anyway. Kurt had beamed at that, and splashed out on jumbo size cherry slushies to celebrate.
Mike reciprocated by buying the coffees and they managed to find two comfortable chairs to sink into away from the busy front of the shop. Kurt lets himself relax a little; telling Mike about how he and Mercedes first bonded over a lime green scarf the diva had worn to school one morning, and about how one of his earliest memories is watching My Fair Lady with his mother. Mike is full of entertaining stories of locker room shenanigans, and Kurt is now armed with a wealth of blackmail material that should make life with Finn even more interesting than it was before. They chat about Glee too; what performances have been their favourite so far, and what songs they’d like to sing in the future.
All in all, it’s a thoroughly pleasant evening.
*
When Kurt arrives home at quarter to eleven he is grinning from ear to ear. It makes Finn smile to see the other boy so obviously happy. The date must have gone even better than Finn had hoped for.
“Good night?” Burt asks, trying to sound nonchalant and innocently curious. He fails miserably.
“It was, thanks,” Kurt replies, sitting down next to Finn.
“Are you going to see each other again?” Finn asks eagerly.
“I dare say so,” Kurt replies drily. “Considering we have three classes together on Monday.” He grins again. “Guess what?”
“What?” Finn asks, unsure whether Kurt’s reply meant that he and Mike would be going out again or not.
“Mike likes Mercedes!” Kurt exclaims happily. “Isn’t that fantastic!”
Finn looks away so Kurt can’t see his face fall. This isn’t how it’s supposed to go! Mike was supposed to take Kurt out and be de-straightened by Kurt’s awesomeness. And Kurt should be heartbroken that Mike likes Mercedes instead of him, not happy!
“That’s nice Kurt,” Burt says, his voice showing no sign of disappointment. “Mercedes is a great girl.”
Now Finn knows exactly where Kurt gets his acting skills.
“I know! Unfortunately his knowledge of rhythm and blues is woefully inadequate for someone hoping to date Cedes, but with my help we should be able to fix that,” Kurt says excitedly.
“You’re going to help him get Mercedes?” Finn asks.
“Of course,” Kurt replies. “Mike’s a nice guy, and Cedes deserves to have some love in her life, don’t you think?” He stares at Finn as though daring him to disagree.
“Yeah. I think they’d make a great couple,” Finn replies hurriedly. It’s not exactly a lie either. He’d just rather see Mike with Kurt.
“Excellent,” says Kurt, sounding pleased. “Well, I’m going to go to bed. I’ve got a busy day tomorrow.”
Burt waits until Kurt has left the room to sigh. “Not quite the outcome we were going for.”
“No,” Finn replies. He scrubs Mike out of the ‘Kurt and his first boyfriend’ portrait he has drawn in his mind and replaces him with Matt. Still works, he thinks. “What did you think of Matt?”
“I like Matt,” Burt says quickly. “Matt is good.”
Matt Rutherford it is then.