Space They Cannot Touch
Title: Chapter Twelve: You're My Home
Pairing: Matthew/Dominic
Rating: PG-13
Summary: Dom is desperate to get close to Matt, but things don't quite go to plan.
Disclaimer: I do not own Muse. The events within are entirely fictional.
Betas: The dynamic duo millionstar and dolce_piccante . You both are made of beauty and win.
Warnings: Angst, language.
Previous Parts: Prologue, Chapter One, Chapter Two, Chapter Three, Chapter Four, Chapter Five, Chapter Six, Chapter Seven, Chapter Eight , Chapter Nine, Chapter Ten, Chapter Eleven
Well I never had a place that I can call my very own
But that’s all right my love cause you’re my home
If I travel all my life
And I never get to stop and settle down
Long as I have you by my side
There’s a roof above and good walls all around.
You’re my castle, you’re my cabin and my instant pleasure dome
I need you in my house, cause you’re my home
You’re my home
You’re My Home - Billy Joel
B-O-L-L-O-C-K-S
Dom grins toothily as he lays down the final tile, using the ‘s’ from Matt’s ‘SLUT’ to form the plural he’d been waiting for. Chris gives him the finger, which Dom chooses to interpret as a congratulations for an exceedingly well played round.
“Have I told you how much I hate house rules Scrabble?” Matt grumbles, pouring himself another glass of red wine and staring mournfully at his own tiles. This is the third game they’ve played tonight, with ‘Only Using Swear Words” following “Words That Are In Song Titles’ and ‘Words Matt Can’t Say Properly’ as the themes for each game. So far, Matt has lost each one spectacularly.
“Repeatedly,” Tom replies drily. “Every time we play, in fact.”
“Well it’s true every time!” Matt exclaims. “I swear you three always cheat me out of the best tiles.”
Chris rolls his eyes. “Yes, Matt. That’s exactly what is going on. Dom, Tom and I all have the power to move objects with our minds and we have put those powers to good use by denying you the letter E every time we play Scrabble.”
“Fuck off,” Matt retorts.
“I would,” Chris replies. “But someone’s already used that one.” He points at Tom’s first word of the game.
In an effort to distract himself from his inevitable Scrabble thrashing, Matt reaches out and ruffles Dom’s hair, sliding his hand down to the blond’s shoulder and pulling him closer. Dom grabs his piece of paper and hastily scribbles down a message.
Stop trying to look at my tiles, you cheating bastard.
Tom and Chris burst out laughing, and Matt’s lips curl into a pout.
“So much for romance,” Matt mutters, trying and failing to look annoyed.
Dom winks at Chris before shuffling closer to Matt, but still making sure his tiles are angled away from the brunet. A contented smile appears on his face when Matt stops pouting and wraps an arm around his shoulders, the touch every bit as thrilling as it had been the first time he’d done it. They’ve had their arms around each other before of course, long before either of them felt anything even remotely special for the other. But there is something palpably different now, a sense of familiarity and protectiveness that provides a constant reminder that things really have changed between them. For the first time in their relationship, Dom feels like they are equals, which is a strange thing to think given that, at present, Dom relies on Matt pretty heavily. For once he doesn’t feel like he is the only one with something to gain from their relationship. He gets that if people knew about them they would probably wonder why Matthew Bellamy was settling for Dominic Howard, but Dom doesn’t much care what other people think. He knows now that the unconditional patience, support and friendship that Dom has always given Matt is all that the other man has ever really been looking for. He, like Dom, wants someone who accepts him for who he is. Who will take the piss out of his every foible but would never dream of wanting him to change.
It sounds totally sappy to say it, but in each other they have found a peace that has been missing for a very long time. For years Dom has felt the pressure from all angles to grow up and settle down with someone; now he doesn’t have to worry about that. He’s found someone who loves the Muse lifestyle just as much as he does. Who is in no hurry to grow up or settle down. Their lives are moving down the same road, at the same time, something that Dom has never found with any of his previous partners.
And all it took was a near death experience and some temporary deafness.
Having his friends around him only heightens Dom’s contentment. His fridge is once again covered with drawings from the Wolstenholme clan, one of them depicting he and Matt skipping through a field of flowers that had been presented to him by Tom with the suggestion that it could be the artwork for the next single. As selfishly as he has enjoyed having Matt all to himself, he has missed the company of the other men. Chris and Tom complete the world that Dom has carved out for himself and it is only now that they have returned to it that Dom truly feels like he has the support required to make it through the next few months.
When is your next specialist visit?
Tuesday. They’re going to do some preliminary checks to see if the nerve damage is repairing the way it should.
Everyone, including Dom, plasters on a confident smile.
Nothing to worry about, mate. Tom writes. There’s no way god loves you enough to spare you the horror of listening to me sing ever again.
Dom’s grins. Ah yes. The melodic sound of two cats going at it. I must confess I’ve missed it, Tom.
Seriously though…you feeling okay about it?
It’s impossible to say. They reckon it’s still another month before I’d be able to hear anything, if I get it back at all.
Matt squeezes Dom’s shoulder lightly. Matt remains convinced that Dom’s hearing will be fine, but after Matt’s conversation with Tom and Chris, they have started to talk more realistically about their options if it isn’t. The conversation reached a standstill last night when Dom insisted that they replace him in Muse and Matt swore never to let that happen. As hard as it would be for Dom, he couldn’t bear to see Matt and Chris’ talents go to waste just because his own weren’t what they used to be. He knows that Chris would never join another band, and whilst he thinks the other man would be happy as a full time family man he is sure that some part of him would always miss performing. As for Matt…not being in Muse would destroy him. He lives for the band. Not simply being a musician, but being in Muse specifically. The band has grown around him, is wrapped so tightly around his heart that without it he would cease to be the same Matthew Bellamy. Dom would still love him, of course, but he would love a different version of him.
*
It’s strange how physically close they have become given that Dom was never that bothered about displays of affection with any of his other partners, and Matt tended to alternate between extreme tactile neediness and an almost pathological hatred of physical intimacy. But between them they’ve formed a whole language of gestures to replace the words that Dom cannot hear.
The linking of fingers.
I’m here for you.
A feather light kiss pressed to the top of a sleeping head.
You are beautiful and I can’t help but touch you.
The warm embrace of wiry arms.
I love you.
A gentle roll of hips and a slowly exploring hand sneaking under a thin, cotton shirt.
I want you.
The last one is relatively new to Dom. They’ve shared a bed almost every night for the past two weeks but their nocturnal activities have consisted of solely one thing: sleeping. Not that that is a problem, exactly. After all, Dom has slept better recently than he has done for years. But he wants Matt. Wants his hands all over him and wants to touch every inch of Matt in return. Everyone knows that Matt has a healthy appetite when it comes to sex; an appetite that is shared by Dom. The blond had assumed that once they sorted out all the stupid guilty feelings and fears that plagued the beginning of their relationship it would be blowjobs and all night fuckathons all round. But they’ve been rock solid for a while now and Matt hasn’t so much as winked in Dom’s direction. They took a shower the other day and actually got washed! It’s just not right, and Dom won’t stand for it any longer.
They are washing dishes in the kitchen when Dom makes his move, wrapping his arms around Matt from behind and pressing his face to the brunet’s neck. He is momentarily distracted by the softness of Matt’s skin but he forces himself to concentrate, letting one hand creep under Matt’s shirt to scrape lazily across his hips. Dom feels Matt smile at the sensation. Encouraged, Dom tugs Matt backwards, heading for his bedroom. Matt turns around as they exit the kitchen, looping his arms around Dom’s neck and looking up at him with bright, eager eyes. Dom returns the gaze fondly, a hand coming up to rest on Matt’s cheek, thumb brushing a cheekbone. He feels like a bit of a knob even thinking about his heart ‘swelling with love’, but that is exactly how he feels when he looks at Matt. Like his heart is going to explode if he doesn’t let all the love out.
Shaking his head at his own sappiness, Dom moves things along slightly, letting his hand creep up Matt’s inner thigh as he sucks a possessive mark into the pale column of Matt’s neck. Matt tenses, as he often does when their explorations start getting interesting, but Dom refuses to be put off this time. He’s done with worrying about Matt not really wanting him; done with being self conscious about his hearing loss. He just wants to feel normal and desirable again and he really, really wants to get his hands on Matt.
Before Matt can open his mouth to protest, Dom kisses him soundly, pouring all his want and desperation into the kiss. Matt relaxes then, pressing closer to Dom as he slips his tongue past the drummer’s parted lips. Dom groans in response, his hand gripping the back of Matt’s head to deepen the kiss whilst the other fumbles with Matt’s belt buckle. When he finally pulls it free Matt suddenly snaps into control mode, shoving Dom against the nearest wall and peppering his neck with sharp bites and kitten licks. The contrast goes straight to Dom’s cock, and he pulls Matt even closer, rolling his hips into Matt’s thigh in search of some friction. Matt is really starting to enjoy himself now, if the scratches he is leaving on Dom’s back are any indication. They are both breathing heavily now as they grind against each other in the narrow corridor.
It’s not enough for Dom though, and after stepping away from Matt long enough for them both to loose their shirts he dives determinedly back in, slipping his hand underneath the waistband of Matt’s trousers. There’s no stopping him now, not when he can almost taste the heat radiating from Matt’s skin and feel his cock twitch when Dom’s hand brushes against him through the thin fabric of his boxer shorts. When his hand wraps around Matt’s leaking cock it feels so natural that he forgets for a moment that this is the first time he has touched him like this. He’s heard him having sex before and seen him get sucked off from across a crowded room, but never has he actually had Matt trembling at his touch. He can feel Matt mumbling something against his neck, and he takes it as a good enough sign to the increase the speed of his strokes. His free hand cards through Matt’s hair, pushing and pulling through the dark strands.
Somehow they manage to make it to the bedroom, finally, and Dom doesn’t fight it when his knees hit the back of his bed. When he lands he shuffles up the bed, taking the opportunity to rid himself of his own jeans and boxers. Matt watches him carefully, worrying his lower lip between his teeth. When Dom looks up at him and smirks Matt swears his heart literally jumps into his mouth. His hand toys with the waistband of his boxers but proceeds no further.
Dom waits patiently. As arrogant as it sounds, it’s not the first time a lover has merely stood and stared at him before joining him in bed. But the longer Matt waits the more awkward it becomes, and Dom starts to feel less and less like he is being admired and more and more like Matt is about to do something incredibly stupid. He reaches over to the notebook that sits beside his bed.
What are you waiting for?
He holds the paper out for Matt, and he can’t help but notice that the other man’s fingers are shaking as he takes it.
I can’t do this.
Dom’s whole body flushes with anger and embarrassment.
What do you mean?
It feels weird. All I can hear is myself and it is really creepy.
Look, I know it’s weird. I’ve heard you having sex before and it kills me that I can’t hear you now, when you’re finally having sex with me, but we don’t exactly have much choice. Can’t you just put some music on?
I don’t want music on. I want to hear you. I want to tell you how good it feels and I want you to agree with me.
Dom’s patience is starting to wear thin and he scowls at Matt, who is starting to look decidedly uncomfortable.
Right. Well I’ll just un-deafen myself then and we can get right to it!
Matt looks somewhat ashamed now, but it goes no way to calming down a horny and irate Dom.
Didn’t mind so much when I had my hand down your pants earlier. Now stop being such a fucking cocktease and come to bed.
It’s not that simple, Dom. Doesn’t it bother you that you can’t hear me? Don’t you want to know that I’m enjoying myself as much as you? Or is that not important?
Of course it’s important. But I can tell you are enjoying yourself without hearing you.
I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have let things get this far. I think we should just be happy with what we’ve got for now. Let’s just get some sleep, yeah?
Matt picks up Dom’s discarded boxers and offers them to the glaring blond.
Don’t even think about getting into this bed if you’re not going to fuck me through the mattress.
Matt scowls, his guilt melting away to be replaced by frustration.
Fuck, Dom. I knew you were a slut but this is ridiculous! You’re really going to kick me out of bed because I won’t fuck you?
Yeah Matt, I am. You’ve just as told me that you won’t sleep with me if I don’t regain my hearing. Do you have any idea how that makes me feel?
There’s nothing Matt can say in response to that. Dom rolls over so that his back is to Matt. The brunet hovers for a moment before sighing heavily and retreating from the room. Catching sight of himself in the hallway mirror he brings his index finger up to press against one of the marks Dom left in his neck. He returns to the kitchen to pour himself a glass of wine and finish up the dishes, Dom’s final comment still ringing in his ears.
Pairing: Matthew/Dominic
Rating: PG-13
Summary: Dom is desperate to get close to Matt, but things don't quite go to plan.
Disclaimer: I do not own Muse. The events within are entirely fictional.
Betas: The dynamic duo millionstar and dolce_piccante . You both are made of beauty and win.
Warnings: Angst, language.
Previous Parts: Prologue, Chapter One, Chapter Two, Chapter Three, Chapter Four, Chapter Five, Chapter Six, Chapter Seven, Chapter Eight , Chapter Nine, Chapter Ten, Chapter Eleven
Well I never had a place that I can call my very own
But that’s all right my love cause you’re my home
If I travel all my life
And I never get to stop and settle down
Long as I have you by my side
There’s a roof above and good walls all around.
You’re my castle, you’re my cabin and my instant pleasure dome
I need you in my house, cause you’re my home
You’re my home
You’re My Home - Billy Joel
B-O-L-L-O-C-K-S
Dom grins toothily as he lays down the final tile, using the ‘s’ from Matt’s ‘SLUT’ to form the plural he’d been waiting for. Chris gives him the finger, which Dom chooses to interpret as a congratulations for an exceedingly well played round.
“Have I told you how much I hate house rules Scrabble?” Matt grumbles, pouring himself another glass of red wine and staring mournfully at his own tiles. This is the third game they’ve played tonight, with ‘Only Using Swear Words” following “Words That Are In Song Titles’ and ‘Words Matt Can’t Say Properly’ as the themes for each game. So far, Matt has lost each one spectacularly.
“Repeatedly,” Tom replies drily. “Every time we play, in fact.”
“Well it’s true every time!” Matt exclaims. “I swear you three always cheat me out of the best tiles.”
Chris rolls his eyes. “Yes, Matt. That’s exactly what is going on. Dom, Tom and I all have the power to move objects with our minds and we have put those powers to good use by denying you the letter E every time we play Scrabble.”
“Fuck off,” Matt retorts.
“I would,” Chris replies. “But someone’s already used that one.” He points at Tom’s first word of the game.
In an effort to distract himself from his inevitable Scrabble thrashing, Matt reaches out and ruffles Dom’s hair, sliding his hand down to the blond’s shoulder and pulling him closer. Dom grabs his piece of paper and hastily scribbles down a message.
Stop trying to look at my tiles, you cheating bastard.
Tom and Chris burst out laughing, and Matt’s lips curl into a pout.
“So much for romance,” Matt mutters, trying and failing to look annoyed.
Dom winks at Chris before shuffling closer to Matt, but still making sure his tiles are angled away from the brunet. A contented smile appears on his face when Matt stops pouting and wraps an arm around his shoulders, the touch every bit as thrilling as it had been the first time he’d done it. They’ve had their arms around each other before of course, long before either of them felt anything even remotely special for the other. But there is something palpably different now, a sense of familiarity and protectiveness that provides a constant reminder that things really have changed between them. For the first time in their relationship, Dom feels like they are equals, which is a strange thing to think given that, at present, Dom relies on Matt pretty heavily. For once he doesn’t feel like he is the only one with something to gain from their relationship. He gets that if people knew about them they would probably wonder why Matthew Bellamy was settling for Dominic Howard, but Dom doesn’t much care what other people think. He knows now that the unconditional patience, support and friendship that Dom has always given Matt is all that the other man has ever really been looking for. He, like Dom, wants someone who accepts him for who he is. Who will take the piss out of his every foible but would never dream of wanting him to change.
It sounds totally sappy to say it, but in each other they have found a peace that has been missing for a very long time. For years Dom has felt the pressure from all angles to grow up and settle down with someone; now he doesn’t have to worry about that. He’s found someone who loves the Muse lifestyle just as much as he does. Who is in no hurry to grow up or settle down. Their lives are moving down the same road, at the same time, something that Dom has never found with any of his previous partners.
And all it took was a near death experience and some temporary deafness.
Having his friends around him only heightens Dom’s contentment. His fridge is once again covered with drawings from the Wolstenholme clan, one of them depicting he and Matt skipping through a field of flowers that had been presented to him by Tom with the suggestion that it could be the artwork for the next single. As selfishly as he has enjoyed having Matt all to himself, he has missed the company of the other men. Chris and Tom complete the world that Dom has carved out for himself and it is only now that they have returned to it that Dom truly feels like he has the support required to make it through the next few months.
When is your next specialist visit?
Tuesday. They’re going to do some preliminary checks to see if the nerve damage is repairing the way it should.
Everyone, including Dom, plasters on a confident smile.
Nothing to worry about, mate. Tom writes. There’s no way god loves you enough to spare you the horror of listening to me sing ever again.
Dom’s grins. Ah yes. The melodic sound of two cats going at it. I must confess I’ve missed it, Tom.
Seriously though…you feeling okay about it?
It’s impossible to say. They reckon it’s still another month before I’d be able to hear anything, if I get it back at all.
Matt squeezes Dom’s shoulder lightly. Matt remains convinced that Dom’s hearing will be fine, but after Matt’s conversation with Tom and Chris, they have started to talk more realistically about their options if it isn’t. The conversation reached a standstill last night when Dom insisted that they replace him in Muse and Matt swore never to let that happen. As hard as it would be for Dom, he couldn’t bear to see Matt and Chris’ talents go to waste just because his own weren’t what they used to be. He knows that Chris would never join another band, and whilst he thinks the other man would be happy as a full time family man he is sure that some part of him would always miss performing. As for Matt…not being in Muse would destroy him. He lives for the band. Not simply being a musician, but being in Muse specifically. The band has grown around him, is wrapped so tightly around his heart that without it he would cease to be the same Matthew Bellamy. Dom would still love him, of course, but he would love a different version of him.
*
It’s strange how physically close they have become given that Dom was never that bothered about displays of affection with any of his other partners, and Matt tended to alternate between extreme tactile neediness and an almost pathological hatred of physical intimacy. But between them they’ve formed a whole language of gestures to replace the words that Dom cannot hear.
The linking of fingers.
I’m here for you.
A feather light kiss pressed to the top of a sleeping head.
You are beautiful and I can’t help but touch you.
The warm embrace of wiry arms.
I love you.
A gentle roll of hips and a slowly exploring hand sneaking under a thin, cotton shirt.
I want you.
The last one is relatively new to Dom. They’ve shared a bed almost every night for the past two weeks but their nocturnal activities have consisted of solely one thing: sleeping. Not that that is a problem, exactly. After all, Dom has slept better recently than he has done for years. But he wants Matt. Wants his hands all over him and wants to touch every inch of Matt in return. Everyone knows that Matt has a healthy appetite when it comes to sex; an appetite that is shared by Dom. The blond had assumed that once they sorted out all the stupid guilty feelings and fears that plagued the beginning of their relationship it would be blowjobs and all night fuckathons all round. But they’ve been rock solid for a while now and Matt hasn’t so much as winked in Dom’s direction. They took a shower the other day and actually got washed! It’s just not right, and Dom won’t stand for it any longer.
They are washing dishes in the kitchen when Dom makes his move, wrapping his arms around Matt from behind and pressing his face to the brunet’s neck. He is momentarily distracted by the softness of Matt’s skin but he forces himself to concentrate, letting one hand creep under Matt’s shirt to scrape lazily across his hips. Dom feels Matt smile at the sensation. Encouraged, Dom tugs Matt backwards, heading for his bedroom. Matt turns around as they exit the kitchen, looping his arms around Dom’s neck and looking up at him with bright, eager eyes. Dom returns the gaze fondly, a hand coming up to rest on Matt’s cheek, thumb brushing a cheekbone. He feels like a bit of a knob even thinking about his heart ‘swelling with love’, but that is exactly how he feels when he looks at Matt. Like his heart is going to explode if he doesn’t let all the love out.
Shaking his head at his own sappiness, Dom moves things along slightly, letting his hand creep up Matt’s inner thigh as he sucks a possessive mark into the pale column of Matt’s neck. Matt tenses, as he often does when their explorations start getting interesting, but Dom refuses to be put off this time. He’s done with worrying about Matt not really wanting him; done with being self conscious about his hearing loss. He just wants to feel normal and desirable again and he really, really wants to get his hands on Matt.
Before Matt can open his mouth to protest, Dom kisses him soundly, pouring all his want and desperation into the kiss. Matt relaxes then, pressing closer to Dom as he slips his tongue past the drummer’s parted lips. Dom groans in response, his hand gripping the back of Matt’s head to deepen the kiss whilst the other fumbles with Matt’s belt buckle. When he finally pulls it free Matt suddenly snaps into control mode, shoving Dom against the nearest wall and peppering his neck with sharp bites and kitten licks. The contrast goes straight to Dom’s cock, and he pulls Matt even closer, rolling his hips into Matt’s thigh in search of some friction. Matt is really starting to enjoy himself now, if the scratches he is leaving on Dom’s back are any indication. They are both breathing heavily now as they grind against each other in the narrow corridor.
It’s not enough for Dom though, and after stepping away from Matt long enough for them both to loose their shirts he dives determinedly back in, slipping his hand underneath the waistband of Matt’s trousers. There’s no stopping him now, not when he can almost taste the heat radiating from Matt’s skin and feel his cock twitch when Dom’s hand brushes against him through the thin fabric of his boxer shorts. When his hand wraps around Matt’s leaking cock it feels so natural that he forgets for a moment that this is the first time he has touched him like this. He’s heard him having sex before and seen him get sucked off from across a crowded room, but never has he actually had Matt trembling at his touch. He can feel Matt mumbling something against his neck, and he takes it as a good enough sign to the increase the speed of his strokes. His free hand cards through Matt’s hair, pushing and pulling through the dark strands.
Somehow they manage to make it to the bedroom, finally, and Dom doesn’t fight it when his knees hit the back of his bed. When he lands he shuffles up the bed, taking the opportunity to rid himself of his own jeans and boxers. Matt watches him carefully, worrying his lower lip between his teeth. When Dom looks up at him and smirks Matt swears his heart literally jumps into his mouth. His hand toys with the waistband of his boxers but proceeds no further.
Dom waits patiently. As arrogant as it sounds, it’s not the first time a lover has merely stood and stared at him before joining him in bed. But the longer Matt waits the more awkward it becomes, and Dom starts to feel less and less like he is being admired and more and more like Matt is about to do something incredibly stupid. He reaches over to the notebook that sits beside his bed.
What are you waiting for?
He holds the paper out for Matt, and he can’t help but notice that the other man’s fingers are shaking as he takes it.
I can’t do this.
Dom’s whole body flushes with anger and embarrassment.
What do you mean?
It feels weird. All I can hear is myself and it is really creepy.
Look, I know it’s weird. I’ve heard you having sex before and it kills me that I can’t hear you now, when you’re finally having sex with me, but we don’t exactly have much choice. Can’t you just put some music on?
I don’t want music on. I want to hear you. I want to tell you how good it feels and I want you to agree with me.
Dom’s patience is starting to wear thin and he scowls at Matt, who is starting to look decidedly uncomfortable.
Right. Well I’ll just un-deafen myself then and we can get right to it!
Matt looks somewhat ashamed now, but it goes no way to calming down a horny and irate Dom.
Didn’t mind so much when I had my hand down your pants earlier. Now stop being such a fucking cocktease and come to bed.
It’s not that simple, Dom. Doesn’t it bother you that you can’t hear me? Don’t you want to know that I’m enjoying myself as much as you? Or is that not important?
Of course it’s important. But I can tell you are enjoying yourself without hearing you.
I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have let things get this far. I think we should just be happy with what we’ve got for now. Let’s just get some sleep, yeah?
Matt picks up Dom’s discarded boxers and offers them to the glaring blond.
Don’t even think about getting into this bed if you’re not going to fuck me through the mattress.
Matt scowls, his guilt melting away to be replaced by frustration.
Fuck, Dom. I knew you were a slut but this is ridiculous! You’re really going to kick me out of bed because I won’t fuck you?
Yeah Matt, I am. You’ve just as told me that you won’t sleep with me if I don’t regain my hearing. Do you have any idea how that makes me feel?
There’s nothing Matt can say in response to that. Dom rolls over so that his back is to Matt. The brunet hovers for a moment before sighing heavily and retreating from the room. Catching sight of himself in the hallway mirror he brings his index finger up to press against one of the marks Dom left in his neck. He returns to the kitchen to pour himself a glass of wine and finish up the dishes, Dom’s final comment still ringing in his ears.