archive I know, I know. Updates will hopefully slow down a bit after this. I just wanted to get to the heir poll. :)
For once, Bertha is dressed appropriately, because it's prom night!
And here's Beatrice, all dolled up.
Clint and Natalie got to stay home and do homework. HAHAHA! Sucks to be you!
Wow, I wish my prom had been half as good...
Clint tries to upstage prom night by having a birthday.
Oh yeah~
Have to send Natalie to a cake because somehow she's a day younger???
Ta-da~!
Clint rolled perfectionist, and Natalie rolled party animal.
Clint began putting the moves on this lovely lady, her name is Aimee and yes, she's Charlie's sister.
Aimee: AHMYGAWD
So she's a party animal, OOP, but Clint doesn't actually care much.
Nat: Your girlfriend will drag you to parties!!!
Clint: NOOOOOOO
Natalie gets home from school every day, turns on the radio to the country station and "evil dances". Doesn't look very evil to meeeeee.
lol Clint did a better job his first try
Poor Bertha.
she just... okay.
Bertie: God you guys, shut up!
Bea just... jams a lot.
Checking the sink again, Clint?
Clint: Nope!
sigh
Bea stop picking fights with your sister please
sigh
Dear god everything in this house is constantly breaking. If it's not the dishwasher, then the toilet is getting clogged!
Here's a crappy shot of the girls' prom photos, btw
For being a loner, Clint really likes dancing with Aimee a lot.
a w k w a r d
Clint: ahmahgawd, she's letting me touch her!!111
scooooore
idk her face just made me laugh.
ok
ummmmmm
Girlfriend: ACQUIRED
Maid: Hey, Mrs. Hemingway. I'm just gonna close my eyes while you're wandering around in your nightie, k?
Good call, sir.
Natalie: Broken. Shower. RAAAAAGE!!
Typical night at the Hemingway house.
At some point Benny and Stewart started trading gossip???
New maid, new... hat?
Now this, folks, is real love.
Kids get home from school, start bitching. This is why I'm never having children.
what
FOR GOD'S SAKE
ok seriously the booby trapping is getting out of hand
Aster gdi stop accusing people of being divas!
Then I sent Natalie out on the town in search of romance material and instead she found a nice park bench to sleep on. ok
Bea just keeps jammin'. Evilly.
Clint: JESUS CHRIST DID I FORGET TO TURN OFF THE STOVE LAST NIGHT?
Hey, if it makes you feel better.
Kid: I love puppies...
Yay, more work for the maid...
Natalie had only one friend, this girl, so she invited her over. She's pretty! Unfortunately, also straight.
Hemingway teen dance party awh yeah
While Bea is outside just... being... evil.
Clint checks the sink for the 216454634th time
And Bertha keeps talking to herself.
You know, the usual.
For some reason, everyone started gathering in Benny's garden while he was trying to weed. LEAVE THE POOR GUY ALONE GEEZ
Clint: Uh, Bea, I can see you there.
Geez, Nat, don't even try to pretend you don't do that to everyone else 21654 times a day.
Okay so I have to explain this, because what? Bea was sleeping, then got up in the middle of the night to go vomit. The thing is, though... I don't have teen woohoo enabled so she couldn't be pregnant, and afaik she hadn't eaten anything bad?? And she had no moodlets about being nauseous and it never happened again???
It's a mystery...
Bea: Dammit I'm the only one allowed to booby trap the shower!!!
FINALLY BIRTHDAY
FEWER HORMONES I AM SO EXCITED
Not bad, not bad
And here's Bertha eating her cake pre-makeover
ta-da! Aren't they lovely?
Don't worry, she's just... talking to herself. Again.
Then I sent her to the stadium to get a job and she jogged... almost all the way there.
She just likes jogging okay?????
idk I think "rabid" is a pretty apt description of Bertie
um what
Okay so it's time to get this show on the road, and get Stewart legal so the baby making can commence! WOOOOO
Yeah that hair horrifies me too, dude
Bea moves in for the kill.
No time is wasted. No fucks are given.
For some reason he seems happy about joining this madness. Probably because he has the insane trait
Bea: My plan progresses!
Then it was time to age up Bertha's man, Charlie!
...and then he disappeared because... I guess he glitched when he aged and errortrap reset him? And he was still a teen, and it was past midnight so it was too late to invite him over again and asdjhsadjksahda it was a few days before I could get him to come over again sob
...do you really need to do that in your parents' bed, Bea?
Bea: Of course. I'm evil!
A little post-coital jam session.
Time for a quickie legacy marriage on the lawn next to the mail box!
Oh good some money so I can build them a bedroom
Here's the new Stewart Hemingway! I don't remember all his traits, but he is definitely evil and insane and his LTW is to be a Criminal Mastermind.
Awh yeah. TWU WUV.
Bea stop arguing with people
Bea she can see you...
I think she just told Aster that she woohoo'd Stewart in Aster and Benny's bed.
So Clint went over to Aimee's house one day after school and found her aged up, looking like this. Whatever floats your boat, honey.
Stewart and Natalie have a nice little chat about FOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOD
askdjhsadkjhflkhsdfds
Well I definitely know what this vomit is about.
Stewart why are you making that face at your wife
Like you don't make that face 165654 a day
Yesssss babby
Sooooooo I sent Bertha to Charlie's house because he kept refusing to come over and... she creeped in the bushes. Sigh
OH HEY THERE YOU ARE FINALLY GROWN UP I SEE
too bad Bertha had to go to work right then. :(
Um no Bertha that... is not something people generally wish for?
ALL RIGHT time to grow these kids up!
Clint is so ready for this
POOT
And a random pre-makeover shot of Natalie because I have to be fair to all of the kids!
And thus it was nearly time for an heir poll!
Benny: I feel tingly...
Stewart I don't think that is an appropriate reaction to your father-in-law's death...
Oh Clint.
:'(
Death: ALL THOSE CRYING PEOPLE ARE BLOCKING THE DOOR.
You could... float through the wall?
Death: OH YEAH.
Death: WHY DIDN'T ANYONE TELL ME THERE WAS A BIRTHDAY PARTY? I LOVE PARTIES. NO ONE EVER INVITES ME.
Benny: Be good kids! Maybe I'll meet a unicorn in the afterlife...
Death: SO MAYBE NEXT TIME YOU HAVE A PARTY YOU COULD GIVE ME A CALL, OKAY?
And on that sad, sad note. Now go vote in the
heir poll!