Right now, I feel bad for my Hubby who actually grew up celebrating Xmas. I'm sure he misses having a tree and at least one present on Xmas morning. I surprised him with a tiny tree and a gift-wrapped book for a present Xmas morning last year. This year...I don't know that I'm going to be fit to get out even tomorrow and certainly not today and unless I do, I won't manage to get anything for him (he's extremely difficult to shop for too). This is one year when I really do wish it was January already. :^\
Would he like it if you gave him a home-made tree or a chain of trees, made by folding and cutting paper? And a home-made card saying 'Booze to follow' or something like that?
He'd love it. Actually the tiny tree I fixed up last year started out as a branch off of one of our blue spruces. Thankfully I finally seem to be on the mend....this is a very long time for me to remain ill like this. :^}
The nicest gift I ever got was one especially skint year when my husband wrote me a letter telling me all that I meant to him; I treasure that letter... perhaps you could do something like that.
For me Christmas means time. Time to read and rest and relax and recuperate.. and I love bringing fir and holly and Ivy into the house and adding oranges and ribbons .
One of the members of this comm (I forget her nickname here) also runs her own disability-related blog. One day, she posted about adult tricycles for disabled ppl. I know she's in Europe, so I looked into what my options were here (US). I found one I liked, but the price seemed prohibitive. I asked my husband what he thought
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I've only been on it once. My "muscle memory" is for a two-wheeled bike, so I kept expecting to fall over, esp since it does have a tendency to veer to the right. I expect (certainly hope, anyway) I'll be able to retrain myself with a little more practice.
december is not easy for me. the 18th is 10 years since the Otherlove passed away, the 25th is 8 years since Fallcon (of fallconsmate) passed away.
Otherlove had a massive heart attack, Fallcon died 4 months to the day after being admitted to the hospital with what became a colon cancer diagnosis.
given my choice, i'd rather go somewhere else, eat, and come home to our quiet house again. instead, we're having my SIL and her sweetie, and our nephew *here*, and eating dinner with mama and my rigidly rabidly christian redneck sire.
it should be interesting. on the upside, i have valium. (it won't be that horrible. but i'd rather have silence, and i can't.)
Holidays are especially hard when you've lost someone. I don't usually cry about my mom any more (13 years now, in her case in mid-July), but around the holidays is when it happens, especially this year as I'm living overseas for the first time and thus away from Partner and sympathetic family (and Sister is at the moment getting a preventative bilateral mastectomy to try to avoid what happened to our mom). Other folks seem to have trouble getting the idea that the holidays aren't necessarily a time of joy and happy family time...
This year I will go do some leisurely birdwatching tomorrow, and then spend the 25th probably just sitting reading fantasy novels on my computer in the easy chair and drinking tea and/or port. I wouldn't mind being around Sister or Partner, but I'm pretty happy to not be near Dad or Stepfather's-GF (Stepfather is fine, his GF not so much).
I hope your holidays are as restful as possible given the family visits, and that any memories that come to you of Otherlove and Fallcon are comforting and loving
You would think after 20 years of living as an adult in Christian-majority areas I'd have this one solved. . . but I haven't yet figured out how to answer
"Are you traveling to spend Christmas with your family?"
I don't celebrate Christmas and neither does my family. So I either say simply "no" and then have to deflect the whole mountain of pity, or have to say "no because we don't celebrate Christmas" which. . .is not always what I want to be doing because people who assume Christmas may not be people to whom I want to out myself as non-Christian. I've tried to derail by saying "I'm traveling to go to a ball on New Years!" but this isn't always effective.
Have you tried, 'No I'm having a quiet one'? I use that reply for people who don't want to hear anything about my point of view. For people who know me a bit, I say that I'm doing 'as little as possible' for Xmas. For people who know me well, I might describe some of how I feel, but let them change the subject quickly onto their own point of view.
I have trouble saying anything that implies that I observe Christmas. It starts feeling like lying and nags at the back of my brain. And I've also found that if I'm not careful, I can trigger a whole bunch of pity for the fact that I'm having a quiet Christmas/not Christmas with family.
Sometimes I want to ask if they are going to be with their families for Passover.
Of course, this year I actually did accept an offer to a friend's lunch/dinner. I sometimes enjoy sharing a friend's Christmas. It's obligatory Christmas, not Christmas itself, that I resent.
Replying on Boxing Day (that's 26th Dec as you know) I'm feeling relief that Xmas Day has gone. Also noticing how sad and junky the decorations and Xmas greetings look now. In my viewpoint, that is
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This is one year when I really do wish it was January already.
:^\
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Thankfully I finally seem to be on the mend....this is a very long time for me to remain ill like this.
:^}
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:-)
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look at it as LEARNING to ride, and your brain won't try to give you the wrong clues. hopefully. :D
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Otherlove had a massive heart attack, Fallcon died 4 months to the day after being admitted to the hospital with what became a colon cancer diagnosis.
given my choice, i'd rather go somewhere else, eat, and come home to our quiet house again. instead, we're having my SIL and her sweetie, and our nephew *here*, and eating dinner with mama and my rigidly rabidly christian redneck sire.
it should be interesting. on the upside, i have valium. (it won't be that horrible. but i'd rather have silence, and i can't.)
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<3
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This year I will go do some leisurely birdwatching tomorrow, and then spend the 25th probably just sitting reading fantasy novels on my computer in the easy chair and drinking tea and/or port. I wouldn't mind being around Sister or Partner, but I'm pretty happy to not be near Dad or Stepfather's-GF (Stepfather is fine, his GF not so much).
I hope your holidays are as restful as possible given the family visits, and that any memories that come to you of Otherlove and Fallcon are comforting and loving
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"Are you traveling to spend Christmas with your family?"
I don't celebrate Christmas and neither does my family. So I either say simply "no" and then have to deflect the whole mountain of pity, or have to say "no because we don't celebrate Christmas" which. . .is not always what I want to be doing because people who assume Christmas may not be people to whom I want to out myself as non-Christian. I've tried to derail by saying "I'm traveling to go to a ball on New Years!" but this isn't always effective.
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Sometimes I want to ask if they are going to be with their families for Passover.
Of course, this year I actually did accept an offer to a friend's lunch/dinner. I sometimes enjoy sharing a friend's Christmas. It's obligatory Christmas, not Christmas itself, that I resent.
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