"Timmy Riggins and his Rotating Mattress of Luuurve" - hysterical! I remember reading your original fic. You did a great job morphing your fic into a script and I think the Tim/Jay scene translated the best.
I'm going to keep reading of course, but here's some feedback on Act I while it's fresh. First, I *love* your first Tyra/Tami scene with the clothes. I could really see that in my mind! Your dialogue throughout is strong already, which you know. A good strategy in re-writes is to cut and cut and cut. When you re-visit this, view it with your razor-blade eye. Where could a character say the same thing in one sentence instead of 3 or 4? Which scenes could probably go? From the scenes in your Teaser, I'm guessing the A story is what Tim's going to do with his life and the B story is what disease is threatening Matt's? Did I get that right?
As always, your feedback is so insightful and helpful. I don't know that I necessarily labeled Tim's SL and Matt's SL as A and B here, but they are the larger SLs for the piece, and they intersect because we need to see more of "the boys" together, which we just don't get enough of onscreen. I'll try to edit a bit more as you suggest.
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P.S. Where do I sign up for that circus? ;-)
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And yes, Tim's "act" would definitely get me to buy a ticket to that particular circus! Thanks for reading.
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