Comments | fresica: Fic preview: "Pet" Project, part two

fresica

Fic preview: "Pet" Project, part two

Sep 08, 2009 21:59

I am so NOT going to do this entire fic in little preview-y snippets on my main journal. No, really. I will have it written, coherently and with some sort of chronology, on my fic journal. HOWEVER. I would appreciate some feedback.

( This snippet's from Arthur's POV. )

meme, merlin, photos, family, fic preview, fandom

Comments 7

itachitachi September 9 2009, 07:03:23 UTC

I like having little bits from Arthur's POV (a lot) but I don't really know how it would work integrated to the rest. If it was me I might do it in parentheses? But I am a parentheses-whore, so.... idk. Maybe you could have it as a separate piece if it got fleshed out enough. DO NOT JUST THROW THEM AWAY, AT LEAST.

randomb33 September 9 2009, 07:39:54 UTC

Eee! More!

I agree with itachi in that the concept for having little Arthur interludes sounds like a good idea, but making them really separate from the rest. Parentheses or italics or something would be great.

AUGH KEEP GOING. &hearts

fresica September 27 2009, 17:57:11 UTC

Thanks for the feedback, bb. I do think that Arthur's segments will be separate from the rest (I really can't think of a good way to fit them into the narrative), I just need to figure out how I'm going to do that. ^^

osolone September 9 2009, 08:11:13 UTC

Awww whe's so cute!!! <3

fresica September 9 2009, 14:55:10 UTC

Isn't he, though? ♥ He's three, and he's been a devout bookworm for the last two years. XD I'm so proud!

flammablehat September 27 2009, 04:48:02 UTC

I really love Arthur's perspective. I enjoy getting the background story, and Arthur's experience with his pets, and how that informs on his behavior toward Merlin. This in particular is very sweet, somehow: Roger - at twenty and two - thinks Arthur a brat. Arthur thinks Roger great for a laugh. It's nice to see Arthur's lighthearted qualities, and I already like the sound of this Roger character.

Would mixing the Arthur pov in with the Merlin pov cause some stylistic problem for you? I'll admit I haven't thought about it before, but I'm pretty sure I tend to assume that the most consistent pov is generally the dominant one. Would having occasional moments of Arthur-ness tip the balance too much, do you think? Or is it more it just seems weird to throw Arthur in when most of the rest of the story is so clearly from Merlin's perspective?

fresica September 27 2009, 17:54:10 UTC

I'm just worried about the flow of the story. This bit, for example, I have no idea where I could put it in the narrative without jarring the reader. I suppose it might fit as a prologue, of sorts? Or pinned to the end of the first chapter... With a bit of editing, it could fit into the story as it's planned. I guess I'll keep picking at it, see what I can do. ^^;