Annie pulled back and gave Clay a look of disbelief. "You have the report, you have all my communications, you have everything you need to know what happened. Talking about it..."
She gave a shrug with a smile that wasn't humorous at all.
"I do have to thank you. Most men wouldn't be that understanding, mission or not. They wouldn't be able to see past the necessity and--" It dawned on her that she'd said necessity and tears welled up in her eyes. "I wanted to come back. I wanted it to end. I wanted him to die."
"Most men didn't spend four years pretending to be someone they weren't in a country that wasn't home, with two other people who also pretended to be other people. Necessity is just that."
He was quiet for another minute, "And you are back." Knowing what he did now, Webb wanted him dead too.
"I don't want to go away again, not for a while. Please."
Her voice was so tight that her 'please' sounded far too much like she was begging and not enough like she was simply asking. Annie hated sounding weak and she hated the fact that he had to see her like this. All she wanted to do was say she was sorry again.
"No one plans to send you anywhere, least of all, me. I like having you home." To him it didn't sound like she was being begging, so much as wanting to convey her point.
In answer to her request, he stretched out on his side of the bed, leaving plenty of room for Annie to join him.
"I like having me home, too," she murmured as she turned into him, molding her body against his. The fit was comforting and she inhaled deeply, she smell of his soap and clothing washing through her. It calmed her down even further and she nodded again, mostly to herself and for no reason at all.
She was afraid that if she closed her eyes, she'd fall asleep and lose the time she had to be with him. Even though she knew that she now had all the time in the world, after the day's events, she felt scattered. It lent itself to feeling alone and she wanted that connection.
Clay did his best to be soothing after a few minutes of quiet, "Just relax. I'll be right here if you'd feel better taking a nap. I'll even make dinner later."
Then he put his arms around her, hoping that it would make Annie feel the slightest bit safer.
"I'm still afraid that if I go to sleep, I'll wake up and find out that being back is just a dream," she finally confessed. Her hold on his shirt tightened.
"Did that happen a lot?" He asked it in a way that was simply displaying his curiosity.
His hold around her tightened, though not as much as hers on his shirt. Everything was going to be fine, he was going to make sure of that and he hoped Annie picked up on that sentiment.
"Sometimes," came her quiet admission. "Sometimes, I'd wake up to the smell of you and coffee and the sense of loss was so hard that I felt sick to my stomach."
The squeeze she felt from him was reassuring and she lifted her head to give him a small smile. She knew that it bothered him that she was so bothered by all of this still and she didn't want him to feel that way. "I should be okay in another couple of days."
It was a subtle hint to change the subject. Mostly, she didn't want to think about how embarrassing her breakdown at work had been.
Clay didn't believe that estimation of time for even as long as it took Annie to say it. All of this was the beginning of a long recovery process, which he was sure, she was completely aware.
Changing the subject was difficult for him to do since he was almost completely consumed by making sure his wife felt better, but he decided to give it a shot, if only because she wanted him to.
She blinked. It hadn't dawned on her that they hadn't done anything fun in a while. They're trip to Manderly when she got back had been more of a necessity than anything else.
"I really just want to spend it with you." Clay knew it sounded corny, but it was the truth. He'd spent six months of weekends by himself and he was done with that for a while.
He supposed riding wouldn't be a bad idea, but he wasn't sure that Annie felt up to it. Maybe spending time with her family would help her feel more connected with who she was before the mess in Eastern Europe, "Ask Danielle and the girls over for dinner?"
"Even if all I want to do is get new pillows and stay in bed all weekend?" Annie gave him a look. "You don't have to change your whole routine for this. Don't you still go riding on Sunday mornings?"
One thing time hadn't changed was her ability to know his mind.
Annie pulled back and gave Clay a look of disbelief. "You have the report, you have all my communications, you have everything you need to know what happened. Talking about it..."
She gave a shrug with a smile that wasn't humorous at all.
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He was quiet for another minute, "And you are back." Knowing what he did now, Webb wanted him dead too.
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Her voice was so tight that her 'please' sounded far too much like she was begging and not enough like she was simply asking. Annie hated sounding weak and she hated the fact that he had to see her like this. All she wanted to do was say she was sorry again.
"Lay down with me?"
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In answer to her request, he stretched out on his side of the bed, leaving plenty of room for Annie to join him.
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She was afraid that if she closed her eyes, she'd fall asleep and lose the time she had to be with him. Even though she knew that she now had all the time in the world, after the day's events, she felt scattered. It lent itself to feeling alone and she wanted that connection.
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Then he put his arms around her, hoping that it would make Annie feel the slightest bit safer.
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His hold around her tightened, though not as much as hers on his shirt. Everything was going to be fine, he was going to make sure of that and he hoped Annie picked up on that sentiment.
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The squeeze she felt from him was reassuring and she lifted her head to give him a small smile. She knew that it bothered him that she was so bothered by all of this still and she didn't want him to feel that way. "I should be okay in another couple of days."
It was a subtle hint to change the subject. Mostly, she didn't want to think about how embarrassing her breakdown at work had been.
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Changing the subject was difficult for him to do since he was almost completely consumed by making sure his wife felt better, but he decided to give it a shot, if only because she wanted him to.
"What should we do this weekend?"
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She blinked. It hadn't dawned on her that they hadn't done anything fun in a while. They're trip to Manderly when she got back had been more of a necessity than anything else.
"No idea. What did you have in mind?"
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He supposed riding wouldn't be a bad idea, but he wasn't sure that Annie felt up to it. Maybe spending time with her family would help her feel more connected with who she was before the mess in Eastern Europe, "Ask Danielle and the girls over for dinner?"
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"I'd really rather just spend it with you, too. The last thing I need is to have another breakdown, this time in front of them."
The thought terrified her.
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He understood her reasoning and it was fine by him.
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One thing time hadn't changed was her ability to know his mind.
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