Challenge 10_hurt_comfort Squalo/Dino
Title: What hurts the most.
Characters: Squalo, Dino
Fandom: Katekyo Hitman Reborn
Table: Classic revised
Prompt: Tears
Rating: G
Disclaimer: All characters belong to Amano Akira.
Notes: ♪ Inspired by Cascada's song. ^_^
~**~
I can take the rain on the roof of this empty house, that don’t bother me
I can take a few tears now and then just let them out
I’m not afraid to cry
Every once in a while even though going on with you gone still upsets me
There are days
Every now and again I pretend I’m okay but that’s not what gets me
Dino bit his finger to keep his moan quiet. He didn’t want his family to worry about him, not at a time like this. The Cavallone’s family was having a hard time fighting against economical problems and sneaky enemies, and a tormented boss wouldn’t do any good. It was just one of those days, Dino thought. He would be better the day after this one, and the day after… until the next one.
He didn’t want to admit that those days were closer and closer now, that it was more and more difficult to keep a straight face everyday and a bright smile to everyone. Once in a while, the pain was too strong to even think properly about his own family, and that fact upset him more than the reason. His family was everything for him and he couldn’t waste a single minute for himself if he wanted his family to become the strongest and the most powerful. Millions of files to read, millions of papers to sign, millions of persons to meet… Dino had not a single minute to waste. Or so he had thought, before pain and regrets invaded his mind, leaving him breathless and incoherent. Like right now.
- Boss. You need a break.
Dino nodded quietly at Romario and pretended he didn’t see his worried look. He rubbed his eyes and his forehead and left the room with the idea to lie on his bed and sleep, but he changed his mind when he noticed the grey sky outside. He grabbed his warm coat, tripped on the step before finally reaching the door. Just one of those days… he thought when he breathed the cold air of the rainy day.
It’s hard to deal with the pain of losing you everywhere I go
But I’m doing it
It’s hard to force that smile when I see your old friends and I'm alone
It’s been years already. But whenever Dino looked, something reminded him. One day, they were together on that bench, the other, they scared Dino’s little cousin by jumping from a tree, this exact same one Dino was now looking at… Tomorrow… Tomorrow was the first day for the students who were going to attend Dino’s old school. And as the head of the Cavallone Family and to leave its name for glory, he had been asked to make a speech. He would explain his own years there, and what he had studied, and how the school had made the man he was now. He would show the new students the classrooms, share with the teachers some private jokes, and he would remember every word and every movement and every look of Squalo between the walls of this place…
Still harder gettin up, gettin dressed, livin with this regret
But I know if I could do it over
I would trade, give away all the words that I saved in my heart that I left unspoken
But in his heart, Dino knew he was strong enough to get over it, to get over his failed relationship with his friend, to get over the regrets of unspoken words that he wished he had said at the right moment. What words could have made Squalo stay anyway? He was too proud, too arrogant to even listen to what he had to tell him. If they had to meet today, Dino wouldn’t even know what to say. As the head of the Cavallone, he couldn’t lose control in front of him… He wouldn’t tell him how much he missed him, how much he missed the moments they both shared… How much he was missing being startled by his loud voice, being always focused on how to avoid being hit. He just missed his friendship a lot, deeply in his heart. He could feel it every day, in every word he said.
But he knew it. He could get over it, when he would be able to understand that Squalo never had been his, so there was nothing to get hurt for.
I’m not afraid to cry
Every once in a while even though going on with you gone still upsets me
There are days
Every now and again I pretend I’m okay but that’s not what gets me
As tears fell down his cheeks, he felt like a spoiled child deprived of his favourite toy. Sadness was not what was making him cry, no. He was upset and frustrated because of all the things he had imagined when he was still young. Now that he was definitively not a kid anymore, he could feel the pain that caused children’s broken dreams. He thought that crying was not a shame in the end. If he could let the tears out once in a while, he may be able to have a normal life without too much pain. Friends came and left, family was important. The Cavallone would become one of the most powerful mafia families, Dino decided. He would put all his strength and will on his project. The pain that he was feeling would be of some use now, it would help him reach his goal.
He would soon forget the day Squalo left. The day he broke their friendship would soon disappear from his mind and become a blurry memory. He would pretend he was okay, he would cry once and in while, that was how it worked.
But this was not what bothered him the most, and what would be the most difficult to forget.
What hurts the most, was being so close
having so much to say
watching you walk away
never knowing, what could have been
not seeing that I'm loving you
Is what I was trying to do.
~**~
Characters: Squalo, Dino
Fandom: Katekyo Hitman Reborn
Table: Classic revised
Prompt: Tears
Rating: G
Disclaimer: All characters belong to Amano Akira.
Notes: ♪ Inspired by Cascada's song. ^_^
~**~
I can take the rain on the roof of this empty house, that don’t bother me
I can take a few tears now and then just let them out
I’m not afraid to cry
Every once in a while even though going on with you gone still upsets me
There are days
Every now and again I pretend I’m okay but that’s not what gets me
Dino bit his finger to keep his moan quiet. He didn’t want his family to worry about him, not at a time like this. The Cavallone’s family was having a hard time fighting against economical problems and sneaky enemies, and a tormented boss wouldn’t do any good. It was just one of those days, Dino thought. He would be better the day after this one, and the day after… until the next one.
He didn’t want to admit that those days were closer and closer now, that it was more and more difficult to keep a straight face everyday and a bright smile to everyone. Once in a while, the pain was too strong to even think properly about his own family, and that fact upset him more than the reason. His family was everything for him and he couldn’t waste a single minute for himself if he wanted his family to become the strongest and the most powerful. Millions of files to read, millions of papers to sign, millions of persons to meet… Dino had not a single minute to waste. Or so he had thought, before pain and regrets invaded his mind, leaving him breathless and incoherent. Like right now.
- Boss. You need a break.
Dino nodded quietly at Romario and pretended he didn’t see his worried look. He rubbed his eyes and his forehead and left the room with the idea to lie on his bed and sleep, but he changed his mind when he noticed the grey sky outside. He grabbed his warm coat, tripped on the step before finally reaching the door. Just one of those days… he thought when he breathed the cold air of the rainy day.
It’s hard to deal with the pain of losing you everywhere I go
But I’m doing it
It’s hard to force that smile when I see your old friends and I'm alone
It’s been years already. But whenever Dino looked, something reminded him. One day, they were together on that bench, the other, they scared Dino’s little cousin by jumping from a tree, this exact same one Dino was now looking at… Tomorrow… Tomorrow was the first day for the students who were going to attend Dino’s old school. And as the head of the Cavallone Family and to leave its name for glory, he had been asked to make a speech. He would explain his own years there, and what he had studied, and how the school had made the man he was now. He would show the new students the classrooms, share with the teachers some private jokes, and he would remember every word and every movement and every look of Squalo between the walls of this place…
Still harder gettin up, gettin dressed, livin with this regret
But I know if I could do it over
I would trade, give away all the words that I saved in my heart that I left unspoken
But in his heart, Dino knew he was strong enough to get over it, to get over his failed relationship with his friend, to get over the regrets of unspoken words that he wished he had said at the right moment. What words could have made Squalo stay anyway? He was too proud, too arrogant to even listen to what he had to tell him. If they had to meet today, Dino wouldn’t even know what to say. As the head of the Cavallone, he couldn’t lose control in front of him… He wouldn’t tell him how much he missed him, how much he missed the moments they both shared… How much he was missing being startled by his loud voice, being always focused on how to avoid being hit. He just missed his friendship a lot, deeply in his heart. He could feel it every day, in every word he said.
But he knew it. He could get over it, when he would be able to understand that Squalo never had been his, so there was nothing to get hurt for.
I’m not afraid to cry
Every once in a while even though going on with you gone still upsets me
There are days
Every now and again I pretend I’m okay but that’s not what gets me
As tears fell down his cheeks, he felt like a spoiled child deprived of his favourite toy. Sadness was not what was making him cry, no. He was upset and frustrated because of all the things he had imagined when he was still young. Now that he was definitively not a kid anymore, he could feel the pain that caused children’s broken dreams. He thought that crying was not a shame in the end. If he could let the tears out once in a while, he may be able to have a normal life without too much pain. Friends came and left, family was important. The Cavallone would become one of the most powerful mafia families, Dino decided. He would put all his strength and will on his project. The pain that he was feeling would be of some use now, it would help him reach his goal.
He would soon forget the day Squalo left. The day he broke their friendship would soon disappear from his mind and become a blurry memory. He would pretend he was okay, he would cry once and in while, that was how it worked.
But this was not what bothered him the most, and what would be the most difficult to forget.
What hurts the most, was being so close
having so much to say
watching you walk away
never knowing, what could have been
not seeing that I'm loving you
Is what I was trying to do.
~**~