NIN-ie Adventure: Party!
Title: NIN-ie Adventure: Party!
Author: Freesus and Daniela.
Pairing: Trent/Kirsten (Sorta)
Warnings: This may confusing to some people. Me and Daniela wrote this for my friend Kirsten who "hates" Trent Reznor but we all know better. ;) Karlie is her stalker... so yes lots of Karlie bashing. Other than that it's quite simple and enjoy.
Summary: NIN want a New Years party.
Disclaimer: I don't own NIN but me and Daniela own this story.
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It’s December 31 and in Canada NIN has decided to rent a log cabin out in its open, snow covered land. So far they have been chased by moose’s, mounties and crazed beavers but they’ve came through ok! Now in their log cabin they are planning a party, who on earth would show up?
Jeordie: *Chewing a pencil* So we should send an invitation to Mrs. Crumplebottom? Aw man I really don't like her... I put my hands in my pockets once and she smacked me with that ole bag off hers claiming I was being filthy in public.
Trent: Invite whoever you want...I have a list of friends here. *takes list out of pocket* Let's see now...Billy Corgan...Marilyn Manson...Jerome Dillon?! What the hell? Oh wait, that's my list of enemies. *takes other list out of pocket* Kirsten and Dani...and...well, I couldn't think of anyone else.
Jeordie: Kirsten and Dani? But I thought you hated Kirsten and Dani! *Whines* I thought we wanted hot chicks! Where are hot chicks? Did that Italian eat all the hot chicks again?
Trent: What are you talking about!? Kirsten is ho- Fine, we'll get some hookers. Alessandro said he was out shopping for food for the party. But then again...he's Italian...we don't know what he really meant by that.
Jeordie: You sent Alessandro shopping?! Oh no! That means we'll be eating Pasta and whatever else he brings back from the market! Oh you've damned us all! We'll be the worst party ever thanks to you! *Slams fists on table* I WANT TWIGLETS! NOT IMMIGRANT SHIT!
Trent: Relax, Jeordie! If all else fails, we have plenty of drinks in the cellar. Anyway, where are Josh and Aaron? They need to help us plan this party too!
-Aaron walks in-
Aaron: I can't believe it guys! I could cry right now! Seriously! Oh! God! Aaah! *Sniffles*
Trent: Why are you upset? Quit being upset and help us with this damn party!
Jeordie: its okay, Aaron. I care. *tosses a box of tissues at Aaron, which hit him in the head*
Aaron: _ *Jumps on box of tissues* I just heard the bad news!
Trent: So have I! You're not helping me with this god damn party so now I'm going to punch you.
Aaron: NO! There is worse news than that! I just heard wild Karlie has been spotted in this area recently.
Jeordie: Well...we are in Canada. They're quite common around here. Along with the occasional igloo and moose.
Trent: WHAT!? I BLAME YOU! *punches Aaron* Now, you go and get Josh and hunt her down. No wild Karlie is going to ruin MY party!
Aaron: *Whines and runs away*
Jeordie: Don't you think you were a little hard on him Trent?
Trent: Listen Jeordie the kid has to learn alright? I admit I could ease up on the yelling and the punching but I need a well trained guitarist not a slacker. I will continue to beat him senseless until he has learnt the rules of NIN.
Alessandro: *Walks in* SIGNORES! ALLY IS AH BACKAH!
Trent: Alessandro! Well if it isn't my favourite Italian keyboardistwhobetterhaveboughtsomethingotherthanpastaorhe'sgoingtogetkilled!
Jeordie: Well, Trent. What are we going to do? Aaron's gone, Josh is nowhere to be seen, and there's a wild Karlie on the loose! I think you're right. This party is going to be a disaster.
Alessandro: *Smiles happily* Thank you Trent, that really means ah lot coming from you. I brought us some goodies for our party. *Puts a bag of pasta on the table* and I have a new Pasta making machine and I brought some ah pizzas.
Trent: .... *Takes pencil from Jeordie* this party will not be a disaster! *Sticks pencil up Jeordie's nose* and Alessandro I'd advise you leave before I put that bag of pasta up your ass!
Jeordie: *screams in pain and pulls pencil out of nose* my nose is oddly shaped enough, thank you!
Alessandro: But...Trent...I didn't do anything wrong! I bought the food, and I'm helping with the party, unlike everyone else, and -
Trent: *punches Alessandro* SHUT UP! Now go back to the store and get REAL food!
Alessandro: *sniffles and leaves*
Jeordie: LOOK WHAT YOU'VE DONE! WE'RE DOWN ANOTHER BAND MEMBER FROM THIS PARTY BECAUSE OF YOU!
Trent: *glares at Jeordie* Would you like it to be one more? I'm perfectly fine planning this by myself, you know
Jeordie: *Glares* One day that ego is going to be thicker than your head and neck!
Trent: Keep talking Carrot! Now get on your god damn moose and delivery these invitations to the post office! *Gives Jeordie four letters*
Jeordie: This party is going to be boomin...T_T
Trent: Your skull will be to if you don't get out of my sight!
Jeordie: Fine...wait. There are four letters here. Who are the other two for?! WE HAVE MORE FRIENDS?!
Trent: JEORDIE! LEAVE!
Jeordie: *Leaves mumbling under breath* We have two more friends? I cannot believe it... maybe it's for those hookers! ^__^ Things are looking up! *Opens door and a pile of snow falls on him*
Trent: *Slams door behind Jeordie* Letting all the hot air out you bastard!
Josh: *walks in and stares at Trent* YOU'RE HOME!? I mean...HEY TRENT! HOW HAVE YOU BEEN, BUDDY?
Trent: *glares at Josh* WHERE THE HELL WERE YOU!?
Josh: Oh...just getting a few things for the party...you know...
Trent: *grabs shopping bags from Josh and starts pulling things out of them* WHAT IS THIS?! Lightsabers and Playboy magazines?! You're fired!
Josh: You can't do that! I'm the all-powerful Josh Freese!
Trent: And I'm the increasingly angry Trent Reznor. Either help with this party or I'm sticking one of these lightsabers up your ass and sending you on the next airplane back to California!
Josh: I am helping Trent! These are for entertainment value um... we read playboy and... Stick lightsabers um...
Trent: GO PREPARE THE FOOD!
Josh: We haven't got any food.
Trent: Prepare the decorations!
Josh: But I'm fired
Trent: You're unfired.
Josh: We have no decorations.
Trent: Go buy some! But only the cheap kind. Trent Reznor would not invest his money in such foolish things as party decorations. I'd rather spend my money on more important things -
Josh: like new scarves?
Trent: GO GET THE DAMN DECORATIONS!
Josh: ... Alright but you are aware this is misusement of my contact and laws of human rights as a citizen of the United States of America.
Trent: I'm asking you to get decorations for me not throw up on me!
Josh: _ Fine... *Leaves*
Alessandro: *Returns shivering with freeze* Signor.. I brought us some yummy mini sausages. Please signor may I use your scarf? I am freezing... you ban us from wearing warm clothes in this weather for some reason.
Trent: NO! You'll soil it with your immigrant fingers! But hmm...mini sausages. That's not so bad, I suppose. Start cooking! You'll get warm faster that way!
Alessandro: As you wish, signor. *walks into the kitchen*
Jeordie: *walks in* Alright. I've mailed the invitations. My nose kills. Remind me why we're inviting Kirsten and Dani again?
Trent: Because... they owe me money! Yeah! I don't find Kirsten hot or anything so don't you dare assume that! STOP ASSUMING THAT! *Kicks Jeordie in the crotch*
Jeordie: *Whimpers and falls over in pain* I wasn't! I was thinking of yummy mini sausages I promise.
Trent: Good! Now go clean the house! I want everything in perfect condition for when our guests arrive!
Jeordie: But Trent! Why do I have to do everything! This is OUR party! You're a part of it, so you should be helping!
Trent: What's your point? I'm the whole reason you know all these famous people! I'm the reason we can get the free hookers for this party! You'd still be wearing make-up and dresses if it weren't for me! SO BE GRATEFUL AND CLEAN THIS HOUSE!
Jeordie: Not true Trent! Without us you'd be wearing one of those things that strap on your back and lets you play instruments with your hands, feet and mouth!
Trent: Finished? I can find a bassist who does follow orders you know it's not hard! I'm Trent Reznor bitch *Slaps Jeordie*
Jeordie: *Stomps off to clean house*
Trent: Ah. Now that I'm all alone, what shall I do to pass the time? *looks around room and picks up Josh's Playboy magazine* this is no Kirsten, but it'll have to do. *takes shoes off, changes into white robe, and lounges on chair with the magazine*
Alessandro: *Runs in with a baking tray* How many will we need?
Trent: Enough.
Alessandro: In numbers that is?
Trent: In numbers? Oh... piss off and cook or I'll kill you.
-Alessandro turns to go back in kitchen but Trent's voice stops him-
Trent: Bring me some of those little cocktail weenies while you’re up.
Alessandro: Yes signore *Leaves*
Trent: *flips through magazine* None of these women appeal to me. I can't even remember the last time I was able to enjoy a woman in a magazine. Oh wait...*mumbles* Courtney Love.
Alessandro: *returns with cocktail weenies on a platter* Weenie?
Trent: HOW DARE YOU CALL ME A WEENIE! *knocks platter over and the cocktail weenies fall on the floor*
Alessandro: My...signor...no need to be so rough..
Trent: GO BACK TO THE KITCHEN AND MAKE MORE! JEORDIE, CLEAN THIS MESS UP!
Jeordie: *Walks over with dustpan and brush*
Trent: WHERE IS YOUR CLEANING UNIFORM?
Jeordie: I am not wearing it! It rides up my ass *Picks up cocktail weenies* Now shut up before I shove these down your throat.
Trent: YOU DARE THREATEN ME!? I AM TRENT REZNOR!
Jeordie: Michael, please. You're nothing but a scrawny little Pennsylvanian in the marching band.
Trent: *glares at Jeordie* MICHAEL? LITTLE? SCRAWNY? YOU OBVIOUSLY HAVE NO KNOWLEDGE OF ME WHATSOEVER, MR. WHITE! *beats Jeordie over the head with magazine*
Jeordie: Hey! Why are you reading that? HA! ARE YOU THAT DESPERATE? SINCE KIRSTEN WON'T FUCK YOU, YOU NEED TO GET YOUR PLEASURE FROM SOME WOMAN IN A PORNO MAGAZINE!?
Trent: *stands up and grabs Jeordie by the neck*
Jeordie: *Chokes* Go on... Do it! You don't have the backbone band boy.
Trent: On the country my friend. *Smashes Jeordie's face into a wall* Peanuts?
Jeordie: What?
Trent: Ifyouwanttogethurtsaywhat
Jeordie: What?
Trent: *Throws Jeordie into Alessandro* Open the oven and put his head in there for an hour =) I love roasted vegetables.
Jeordie: *falls on top of Alessandro*
Alessandro: *whines* But Signor, that would be murder.
Trent: You're right. We'll save that for later when we get our hands on that Karlie.
Jeordie: Yes, yes. I like that idea! Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to clean. *gets up and runs out of the kitchen*
Trent: Hey! I'm not finished with you yet!
-The door knocks-
Trent: AHHH THE GUESTS ARE EARLY! KIRSTEN WILL SEE ME IN MY ROBE! I MUST GET READY! *Runs upstairs*
Josh: *Walks in through front door* who put all that snow there? I didn't think I'd be able to open the door so I knocked.
Jeordie: Wasn't me. I clean the INSIDE of this house. Not the outside. *cleans dust off of fireplace* Hey, have you seen Aaron?
Aaron: *Walks in riding a moose* I found her!
Alessandro: Aaron I believe they call that a cow,
Josh: It's a moose you idiot, why is there a moose in the cabin?
Jeordie: THE FLOOR! No animals inside the house! That includes you Alessandro!
Aaron: *Jumps from moose* we could make a party game out of him! Pin the tail on the Karlie.
Trent: *walks downstairs in a suit* What is it that my ears have just heard? You found Karlie? Is she here?!
Jeordie: No, Aaron brought home a pet.
Trent: Oh fresh meat! Alessandro skin it and cook it.
Alessandro: O_O No please! I cannot do it! Please do not make me do it! *Falls to knees in tears*
*Door knocks*
Trent: AAAAH COOK THE FOOD! PUT THE DECORATIONS UP! HIDE THE MOOSE! KIRSTEN IS HERE! *Skips to front door*
Jeordie: *rolls eyes*
Josh: *looks around to make sure no one's looking and quickly steals a cocktail weenie off of the platter*
Trent: *straightens tie and opens door*
Trent's mum: Hi baby
Trent: *Slams door*
Alessandro: Who was that?
Josh: *steals another weenie*
Trent: Some bitch, probably wanted money for charity or something.
-Door knocks again and Trent answers it again-
Trent: I DON'T WANT TO DONATE TO YOUR CHAIRTY! I DON'T CARE IF YOU HAVE ONE LEG OR YOUR SON HAS NO BRAINS-
TR-Mum: You get no argument from me Trent _
Trent: Yeah well piss off alright? I have a party to organise
Trent's mom: Fine! Now you don't get the nice scarves I knit for you and the rest of your wretched band so you wouldn't be cold! *leaves*
Trent: *slams door*
Alessandro: TRENT! I wanted a scarf!
Trent: Well go buy one then.
Alessandro: You halted my pay check.
Trent: I did? Wow that was great of me.
Alessandro: *frowns* I guess I'll just go sit by the fireplace. and...try to keep warm...*sulks off*
Trent: *glares at Aaron, Jeordie, and Josh* Get to work! The party is starting soon!
Jeordie: NO!
Josh: We are rebelling! You're only a midget with a thick neck.
Alessandro: Who will win?
Aaron: We will
Alessandro: I'M WITH THEM!
Trent: Stop pissing about and do your chores!
Jeordie: When does this party start? I'm tired of cleaning!
Alessandro: And the food is done!
Aaron: Yeah! When will your lover and her friend get here?!
Trent: The party starts when I say it starts.
-Kirsten and Dani walk in-
Kirsten: TRENT STOP TALKING!
Trent: ... Ok =)
Kirsten: *Glares at Trent*
Dani: :/ :/ :/
Trent: HI KIRSTEN! How are you? Would you like a weenie?
Kirsten: This is highly suspicious.
Dani: *walks over to Jeordie, Alessandro, Josh, and Aaron and starts talking to them*
Trent: Why is everything so suspicious to you? *face gets red*
Kirsten: *Ties Trent up for no reason*
Trent: Hey!
Kirsten: Hello... this is suspicious...
Trent: Why is it?
Kirsten: You invited me to a party
Jeordie: Hi Dani!
Dani: :/
Jeordie: You ok?
Dani: :/
Trent: So? That's because I like yo-yogurt! Yes, yogurt. This is a yogurt-themed party. And I had heard from someone that you enjoy yogurt, so I decided to invite you, despite my deep hatred for you and Dani.
Kirsten: Who throws a yogurt-themed party on New Years Eve? Actually, who throws a yogurt-themed party at all? This is still highly suspicious!
Trent: OH SHUT UP!
Kirsten: Don't tell me to shut up! Where is Paige?
Trent: *Heart snaps in two*
Jeordie: OH NO! LOOK!
*Karlie's face is pressed against window drooling*
Kirsten: Damnit. Let's hide.
Trent: One problem. I'm tied up.
Kirsten: Oh well. You can distract her while I hide then. *grabs Dani and hides*
Karlie: *shatters window with a bat and enters house*
Trent: OH SHIT! NO! I PAID SO MUCH MONEY FOR THAT WINDOW!
Karlie: WHERE IS KIRSTEN? KIRSTEN KIRSTEN!
Jeordie: O_O RUUUN!
Trent: NO! SAVE ME! SAVE ME! IT'S GOING TO OBSESS OVER ME!
Alessandro: *Snickers* Apologise to us!
Trent: ... I'm not that desperate.
Alessandro: *Hides with the other members of NIN*
Trent: *Girly scream*
Karlie: *goes up to Trent* I'll untie you if you tell me where Kirsten is!
Trent: *spits in Karlie's face* Go away!
Karlie: *takes bat and smashes Trent's fingers*
Kirsten: *While Trent is screaming in agony* How suspicious, he is being tortured and not giving away my position. What he got planned?
Dani: *Sighs and looks at Jeordie*
Jeordie: I know, I know and I'm sorry! I couldn't hold it in any longer.
Dani: I was talking about Kirsten oblivious to Trent's love and ew... you farted?
Jeordie: It happens.
Trent: Fine! I'll tell you! She's in the closet! Now untie me!
Karlie: *unties Trent and opens door to closet* Hey, she's not in here!
Trent: *pushes Karlie into closet and locks door*
Kirsten: *Tackles Trent* WHAT ARE YOU DOING? I KNOW YOU'RE UP TO SOMETHING!
Jeordie: Kirsten! Trent just saved your life!
Kirsten: Did he? *Punches Trent*
Trent: =}
Kirsten: Stop smiling! Or I'll tie you up again.
Alessandro: Signore Trent must be interested in angry sexual natures.
Trent: *punches Alessandro* Shut up!
Dani: *kicks Trent* Leave him alone.
Trent: *kicks Dani harder*
Aaron: Well...this is a successful party.
Karlie: *screams from inside closet* LET ME OUT!
Josh: No! We're calling the pest control services.
Alessandro: PEST CONTROL SERVICE!
*Nicola appears*
Nicola: Hey! Cocktail weenies *Eats them all*
Trent: *glares at Nicola* I'M PAYING YOU TO GET RID OF THIS PEST! NOW DO IT!
Kirsten and Dani: *tackle Trent and beat him up*
Nicola: TREEEEEENT! It's Trent! Look everyone! It's Trent! Dani and Kirsten? =( I thought I was special *Clicks fingers and is gone, Karlie too... for now mwuhahaah*
Trent: *Whines* STOP BEATING ME!
Dani: *gets off of Trent*
Kirsten: *pins Trent down and kisses him*
Trent: O________________________O *Kisses back?*
Kirsten: *Drags Trent by the arm and pulls him into a bedroom*
Alessandro: NOOOO! MY BEDSHEETS!
The End.
Author: Freesus and Daniela.
Pairing: Trent/Kirsten (Sorta)
Warnings: This may confusing to some people. Me and Daniela wrote this for my friend Kirsten who "hates" Trent Reznor but we all know better. ;) Karlie is her stalker... so yes lots of Karlie bashing. Other than that it's quite simple and enjoy.
Summary: NIN want a New Years party.
Disclaimer: I don't own NIN but me and Daniela own this story.
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It’s December 31 and in Canada NIN has decided to rent a log cabin out in its open, snow covered land. So far they have been chased by moose’s, mounties and crazed beavers but they’ve came through ok! Now in their log cabin they are planning a party, who on earth would show up?
Jeordie: *Chewing a pencil* So we should send an invitation to Mrs. Crumplebottom? Aw man I really don't like her... I put my hands in my pockets once and she smacked me with that ole bag off hers claiming I was being filthy in public.
Trent: Invite whoever you want...I have a list of friends here. *takes list out of pocket* Let's see now...Billy Corgan...Marilyn Manson...Jerome Dillon?! What the hell? Oh wait, that's my list of enemies. *takes other list out of pocket* Kirsten and Dani...and...well, I couldn't think of anyone else.
Jeordie: Kirsten and Dani? But I thought you hated Kirsten and Dani! *Whines* I thought we wanted hot chicks! Where are hot chicks? Did that Italian eat all the hot chicks again?
Trent: What are you talking about!? Kirsten is ho- Fine, we'll get some hookers. Alessandro said he was out shopping for food for the party. But then again...he's Italian...we don't know what he really meant by that.
Jeordie: You sent Alessandro shopping?! Oh no! That means we'll be eating Pasta and whatever else he brings back from the market! Oh you've damned us all! We'll be the worst party ever thanks to you! *Slams fists on table* I WANT TWIGLETS! NOT IMMIGRANT SHIT!
Trent: Relax, Jeordie! If all else fails, we have plenty of drinks in the cellar. Anyway, where are Josh and Aaron? They need to help us plan this party too!
-Aaron walks in-
Aaron: I can't believe it guys! I could cry right now! Seriously! Oh! God! Aaah! *Sniffles*
Trent: Why are you upset? Quit being upset and help us with this damn party!
Jeordie: its okay, Aaron. I care. *tosses a box of tissues at Aaron, which hit him in the head*
Aaron: _ *Jumps on box of tissues* I just heard the bad news!
Trent: So have I! You're not helping me with this god damn party so now I'm going to punch you.
Aaron: NO! There is worse news than that! I just heard wild Karlie has been spotted in this area recently.
Jeordie: Well...we are in Canada. They're quite common around here. Along with the occasional igloo and moose.
Trent: WHAT!? I BLAME YOU! *punches Aaron* Now, you go and get Josh and hunt her down. No wild Karlie is going to ruin MY party!
Aaron: *Whines and runs away*
Jeordie: Don't you think you were a little hard on him Trent?
Trent: Listen Jeordie the kid has to learn alright? I admit I could ease up on the yelling and the punching but I need a well trained guitarist not a slacker. I will continue to beat him senseless until he has learnt the rules of NIN.
Alessandro: *Walks in* SIGNORES! ALLY IS AH BACKAH!
Trent: Alessandro! Well if it isn't my favourite Italian keyboardistwhobetterhaveboughtsomethingotherthanpastaorhe'sgoingtogetkilled!
Jeordie: Well, Trent. What are we going to do? Aaron's gone, Josh is nowhere to be seen, and there's a wild Karlie on the loose! I think you're right. This party is going to be a disaster.
Alessandro: *Smiles happily* Thank you Trent, that really means ah lot coming from you. I brought us some goodies for our party. *Puts a bag of pasta on the table* and I have a new Pasta making machine and I brought some ah pizzas.
Trent: .... *Takes pencil from Jeordie* this party will not be a disaster! *Sticks pencil up Jeordie's nose* and Alessandro I'd advise you leave before I put that bag of pasta up your ass!
Jeordie: *screams in pain and pulls pencil out of nose* my nose is oddly shaped enough, thank you!
Alessandro: But...Trent...I didn't do anything wrong! I bought the food, and I'm helping with the party, unlike everyone else, and -
Trent: *punches Alessandro* SHUT UP! Now go back to the store and get REAL food!
Alessandro: *sniffles and leaves*
Jeordie: LOOK WHAT YOU'VE DONE! WE'RE DOWN ANOTHER BAND MEMBER FROM THIS PARTY BECAUSE OF YOU!
Trent: *glares at Jeordie* Would you like it to be one more? I'm perfectly fine planning this by myself, you know
Jeordie: *Glares* One day that ego is going to be thicker than your head and neck!
Trent: Keep talking Carrot! Now get on your god damn moose and delivery these invitations to the post office! *Gives Jeordie four letters*
Jeordie: This party is going to be boomin...T_T
Trent: Your skull will be to if you don't get out of my sight!
Jeordie: Fine...wait. There are four letters here. Who are the other two for?! WE HAVE MORE FRIENDS?!
Trent: JEORDIE! LEAVE!
Jeordie: *Leaves mumbling under breath* We have two more friends? I cannot believe it... maybe it's for those hookers! ^__^ Things are looking up! *Opens door and a pile of snow falls on him*
Trent: *Slams door behind Jeordie* Letting all the hot air out you bastard!
Josh: *walks in and stares at Trent* YOU'RE HOME!? I mean...HEY TRENT! HOW HAVE YOU BEEN, BUDDY?
Trent: *glares at Josh* WHERE THE HELL WERE YOU!?
Josh: Oh...just getting a few things for the party...you know...
Trent: *grabs shopping bags from Josh and starts pulling things out of them* WHAT IS THIS?! Lightsabers and Playboy magazines?! You're fired!
Josh: You can't do that! I'm the all-powerful Josh Freese!
Trent: And I'm the increasingly angry Trent Reznor. Either help with this party or I'm sticking one of these lightsabers up your ass and sending you on the next airplane back to California!
Josh: I am helping Trent! These are for entertainment value um... we read playboy and... Stick lightsabers um...
Trent: GO PREPARE THE FOOD!
Josh: We haven't got any food.
Trent: Prepare the decorations!
Josh: But I'm fired
Trent: You're unfired.
Josh: We have no decorations.
Trent: Go buy some! But only the cheap kind. Trent Reznor would not invest his money in such foolish things as party decorations. I'd rather spend my money on more important things -
Josh: like new scarves?
Trent: GO GET THE DAMN DECORATIONS!
Josh: ... Alright but you are aware this is misusement of my contact and laws of human rights as a citizen of the United States of America.
Trent: I'm asking you to get decorations for me not throw up on me!
Josh: _ Fine... *Leaves*
Alessandro: *Returns shivering with freeze* Signor.. I brought us some yummy mini sausages. Please signor may I use your scarf? I am freezing... you ban us from wearing warm clothes in this weather for some reason.
Trent: NO! You'll soil it with your immigrant fingers! But hmm...mini sausages. That's not so bad, I suppose. Start cooking! You'll get warm faster that way!
Alessandro: As you wish, signor. *walks into the kitchen*
Jeordie: *walks in* Alright. I've mailed the invitations. My nose kills. Remind me why we're inviting Kirsten and Dani again?
Trent: Because... they owe me money! Yeah! I don't find Kirsten hot or anything so don't you dare assume that! STOP ASSUMING THAT! *Kicks Jeordie in the crotch*
Jeordie: *Whimpers and falls over in pain* I wasn't! I was thinking of yummy mini sausages I promise.
Trent: Good! Now go clean the house! I want everything in perfect condition for when our guests arrive!
Jeordie: But Trent! Why do I have to do everything! This is OUR party! You're a part of it, so you should be helping!
Trent: What's your point? I'm the whole reason you know all these famous people! I'm the reason we can get the free hookers for this party! You'd still be wearing make-up and dresses if it weren't for me! SO BE GRATEFUL AND CLEAN THIS HOUSE!
Jeordie: Not true Trent! Without us you'd be wearing one of those things that strap on your back and lets you play instruments with your hands, feet and mouth!
Trent: Finished? I can find a bassist who does follow orders you know it's not hard! I'm Trent Reznor bitch *Slaps Jeordie*
Jeordie: *Stomps off to clean house*
Trent: Ah. Now that I'm all alone, what shall I do to pass the time? *looks around room and picks up Josh's Playboy magazine* this is no Kirsten, but it'll have to do. *takes shoes off, changes into white robe, and lounges on chair with the magazine*
Alessandro: *Runs in with a baking tray* How many will we need?
Trent: Enough.
Alessandro: In numbers that is?
Trent: In numbers? Oh... piss off and cook or I'll kill you.
-Alessandro turns to go back in kitchen but Trent's voice stops him-
Trent: Bring me some of those little cocktail weenies while you’re up.
Alessandro: Yes signore *Leaves*
Trent: *flips through magazine* None of these women appeal to me. I can't even remember the last time I was able to enjoy a woman in a magazine. Oh wait...*mumbles* Courtney Love.
Alessandro: *returns with cocktail weenies on a platter* Weenie?
Trent: HOW DARE YOU CALL ME A WEENIE! *knocks platter over and the cocktail weenies fall on the floor*
Alessandro: My...signor...no need to be so rough..
Trent: GO BACK TO THE KITCHEN AND MAKE MORE! JEORDIE, CLEAN THIS MESS UP!
Jeordie: *Walks over with dustpan and brush*
Trent: WHERE IS YOUR CLEANING UNIFORM?
Jeordie: I am not wearing it! It rides up my ass *Picks up cocktail weenies* Now shut up before I shove these down your throat.
Trent: YOU DARE THREATEN ME!? I AM TRENT REZNOR!
Jeordie: Michael, please. You're nothing but a scrawny little Pennsylvanian in the marching band.
Trent: *glares at Jeordie* MICHAEL? LITTLE? SCRAWNY? YOU OBVIOUSLY HAVE NO KNOWLEDGE OF ME WHATSOEVER, MR. WHITE! *beats Jeordie over the head with magazine*
Jeordie: Hey! Why are you reading that? HA! ARE YOU THAT DESPERATE? SINCE KIRSTEN WON'T FUCK YOU, YOU NEED TO GET YOUR PLEASURE FROM SOME WOMAN IN A PORNO MAGAZINE!?
Trent: *stands up and grabs Jeordie by the neck*
Jeordie: *Chokes* Go on... Do it! You don't have the backbone band boy.
Trent: On the country my friend. *Smashes Jeordie's face into a wall* Peanuts?
Jeordie: What?
Trent: Ifyouwanttogethurtsaywhat
Jeordie: What?
Trent: *Throws Jeordie into Alessandro* Open the oven and put his head in there for an hour =) I love roasted vegetables.
Jeordie: *falls on top of Alessandro*
Alessandro: *whines* But Signor, that would be murder.
Trent: You're right. We'll save that for later when we get our hands on that Karlie.
Jeordie: Yes, yes. I like that idea! Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to clean. *gets up and runs out of the kitchen*
Trent: Hey! I'm not finished with you yet!
-The door knocks-
Trent: AHHH THE GUESTS ARE EARLY! KIRSTEN WILL SEE ME IN MY ROBE! I MUST GET READY! *Runs upstairs*
Josh: *Walks in through front door* who put all that snow there? I didn't think I'd be able to open the door so I knocked.
Jeordie: Wasn't me. I clean the INSIDE of this house. Not the outside. *cleans dust off of fireplace* Hey, have you seen Aaron?
Aaron: *Walks in riding a moose* I found her!
Alessandro: Aaron I believe they call that a cow,
Josh: It's a moose you idiot, why is there a moose in the cabin?
Jeordie: THE FLOOR! No animals inside the house! That includes you Alessandro!
Aaron: *Jumps from moose* we could make a party game out of him! Pin the tail on the Karlie.
Trent: *walks downstairs in a suit* What is it that my ears have just heard? You found Karlie? Is she here?!
Jeordie: No, Aaron brought home a pet.
Trent: Oh fresh meat! Alessandro skin it and cook it.
Alessandro: O_O No please! I cannot do it! Please do not make me do it! *Falls to knees in tears*
*Door knocks*
Trent: AAAAH COOK THE FOOD! PUT THE DECORATIONS UP! HIDE THE MOOSE! KIRSTEN IS HERE! *Skips to front door*
Jeordie: *rolls eyes*
Josh: *looks around to make sure no one's looking and quickly steals a cocktail weenie off of the platter*
Trent: *straightens tie and opens door*
Trent's mum: Hi baby
Trent: *Slams door*
Alessandro: Who was that?
Josh: *steals another weenie*
Trent: Some bitch, probably wanted money for charity or something.
-Door knocks again and Trent answers it again-
Trent: I DON'T WANT TO DONATE TO YOUR CHAIRTY! I DON'T CARE IF YOU HAVE ONE LEG OR YOUR SON HAS NO BRAINS-
TR-Mum: You get no argument from me Trent _
Trent: Yeah well piss off alright? I have a party to organise
Trent's mom: Fine! Now you don't get the nice scarves I knit for you and the rest of your wretched band so you wouldn't be cold! *leaves*
Trent: *slams door*
Alessandro: TRENT! I wanted a scarf!
Trent: Well go buy one then.
Alessandro: You halted my pay check.
Trent: I did? Wow that was great of me.
Alessandro: *frowns* I guess I'll just go sit by the fireplace. and...try to keep warm...*sulks off*
Trent: *glares at Aaron, Jeordie, and Josh* Get to work! The party is starting soon!
Jeordie: NO!
Josh: We are rebelling! You're only a midget with a thick neck.
Alessandro: Who will win?
Aaron: We will
Alessandro: I'M WITH THEM!
Trent: Stop pissing about and do your chores!
Jeordie: When does this party start? I'm tired of cleaning!
Alessandro: And the food is done!
Aaron: Yeah! When will your lover and her friend get here?!
Trent: The party starts when I say it starts.
-Kirsten and Dani walk in-
Kirsten: TRENT STOP TALKING!
Trent: ... Ok =)
Kirsten: *Glares at Trent*
Dani: :/ :/ :/
Trent: HI KIRSTEN! How are you? Would you like a weenie?
Kirsten: This is highly suspicious.
Dani: *walks over to Jeordie, Alessandro, Josh, and Aaron and starts talking to them*
Trent: Why is everything so suspicious to you? *face gets red*
Kirsten: *Ties Trent up for no reason*
Trent: Hey!
Kirsten: Hello... this is suspicious...
Trent: Why is it?
Kirsten: You invited me to a party
Jeordie: Hi Dani!
Dani: :/
Jeordie: You ok?
Dani: :/
Trent: So? That's because I like yo-yogurt! Yes, yogurt. This is a yogurt-themed party. And I had heard from someone that you enjoy yogurt, so I decided to invite you, despite my deep hatred for you and Dani.
Kirsten: Who throws a yogurt-themed party on New Years Eve? Actually, who throws a yogurt-themed party at all? This is still highly suspicious!
Trent: OH SHUT UP!
Kirsten: Don't tell me to shut up! Where is Paige?
Trent: *Heart snaps in two*
Jeordie: OH NO! LOOK!
*Karlie's face is pressed against window drooling*
Kirsten: Damnit. Let's hide.
Trent: One problem. I'm tied up.
Kirsten: Oh well. You can distract her while I hide then. *grabs Dani and hides*
Karlie: *shatters window with a bat and enters house*
Trent: OH SHIT! NO! I PAID SO MUCH MONEY FOR THAT WINDOW!
Karlie: WHERE IS KIRSTEN? KIRSTEN KIRSTEN!
Jeordie: O_O RUUUN!
Trent: NO! SAVE ME! SAVE ME! IT'S GOING TO OBSESS OVER ME!
Alessandro: *Snickers* Apologise to us!
Trent: ... I'm not that desperate.
Alessandro: *Hides with the other members of NIN*
Trent: *Girly scream*
Karlie: *goes up to Trent* I'll untie you if you tell me where Kirsten is!
Trent: *spits in Karlie's face* Go away!
Karlie: *takes bat and smashes Trent's fingers*
Kirsten: *While Trent is screaming in agony* How suspicious, he is being tortured and not giving away my position. What he got planned?
Dani: *Sighs and looks at Jeordie*
Jeordie: I know, I know and I'm sorry! I couldn't hold it in any longer.
Dani: I was talking about Kirsten oblivious to Trent's love and ew... you farted?
Jeordie: It happens.
Trent: Fine! I'll tell you! She's in the closet! Now untie me!
Karlie: *unties Trent and opens door to closet* Hey, she's not in here!
Trent: *pushes Karlie into closet and locks door*
Kirsten: *Tackles Trent* WHAT ARE YOU DOING? I KNOW YOU'RE UP TO SOMETHING!
Jeordie: Kirsten! Trent just saved your life!
Kirsten: Did he? *Punches Trent*
Trent: =}
Kirsten: Stop smiling! Or I'll tie you up again.
Alessandro: Signore Trent must be interested in angry sexual natures.
Trent: *punches Alessandro* Shut up!
Dani: *kicks Trent* Leave him alone.
Trent: *kicks Dani harder*
Aaron: Well...this is a successful party.
Karlie: *screams from inside closet* LET ME OUT!
Josh: No! We're calling the pest control services.
Alessandro: PEST CONTROL SERVICE!
*Nicola appears*
Nicola: Hey! Cocktail weenies *Eats them all*
Trent: *glares at Nicola* I'M PAYING YOU TO GET RID OF THIS PEST! NOW DO IT!
Kirsten and Dani: *tackle Trent and beat him up*
Nicola: TREEEEEENT! It's Trent! Look everyone! It's Trent! Dani and Kirsten? =( I thought I was special *Clicks fingers and is gone, Karlie too... for now mwuhahaah*
Trent: *Whines* STOP BEATING ME!
Dani: *gets off of Trent*
Kirsten: *pins Trent down and kisses him*
Trent: O________________________O *Kisses back?*
Kirsten: *Drags Trent by the arm and pulls him into a bedroom*
Alessandro: NOOOO! MY BEDSHEETS!
The End.