3 from sonofred

[absurd_bird]

Comments

Aye..

[reinventedmuse]

I like the images.

[absurd_bird]

I like the first, and how you truly give the poem to us, like a gift. Number three is ok...it drags a bit with "exactly/
how rough it can be", I'd suggest different wording here.

Number two is my favourite, I lovingly term these "pocket poems" because they are little drops of simple images that say so much more than a longer poem could. This especially,
long black hair/
strands tangled on the linen/

Is cool and clean and sweet. A resounding Aye.

[sonofred]

thank you

nay

[radrover]

boring. poem 3 has potential though.

[slowly_drifting]

Nice images. Aye.

[alioth]

these suffer from the 'sowhat' syndrome. they sound okay, but, with the exception of the third, really don't say much. sparkle without substance, i guess. you're not bad, i just want to see some meat underneath.

nay.