(Untitled)

[fredegarbolger]

*prances around aimlessly*

So....
Who wants to check out my new property?

Comments

*cha-CHUNK*

[eomer_of_rohan]

That was the sound of a shotgun being primed. One word: venison.

AAHHHG.

[fredegarbolger]

That was the sound of me screaming.

WHAT THE FUCK I haven't even done anything yet. I don't think I've ever even seen you before and if I did I was probably so fucked up I dont remember.

....what was your name again?

Ahahaa

[manofrohan]

Poor little claymation reindeer. I feel the urge to shove you into my backpack and rescue you. Or tape your ensuing doom.

........

[fredegarbolger]

If you do the first I'll stop calling you Theostud and writing limericks about you.

*looks pitifully cute and vulnerable*

[felarof]

*sighs* Do you have any idea what kind of damage a simple deer can do to a kingdom full of horses?

*watches mass spookings occur as horses catch sight of what must be a flesh-eating deer*

Ah, the beautiful sound of riders thudding on the ground ...

*wistful sigh*

You know, if we cut those antlers off, reshaped your ears and superglued copious amounts of string to your ass, you could almost pass for a horse. Much as I adore seeing my line throw riders to their doom, it could get a bit embarassing if word gets out that our horses are terrified of a hobbit-turned-deer.

[fredegarbolger]

Well, if word does spread, it wont be entirely unjustified. I did completely destroy Bree in a single night.

But I'm tiny! And cute! See?? *prances around* I'll try not to pull any of that sudden leaping into flight around any of you. And I'll try to keep the nose under control.

[menelsul]

I'm tiny and cute too! *prances*

[felarof]

It's not so much the flying or the nose. It's the principle of the thing. We horses have a long-standing tradition of using the slightest excuse to unseat a rider, and deer of any kind are the perfect vehicle for executing our bucking, bolting and rearing abilities. If I had a rider at the moment, I would demonstrate.