Bart Allen, Detective - Kid Flash 8-page script #2
Characters: Bart Allen (Kid Flash), Wally West (Flash), Dick Grayson (Batman), Damian Wayne (Robin), and Iris and Jai West, among others.
Rating: G.
Content: Humor.
Page Count: Eight pages of comics script.
Summary: Bart foiled the laser-wielding ninjas who broke into the Wests’ house while he was babysitting, and now he wants to be part of the investigation into that plot. Batman and the Flash don’t think so.
Continuity: DC Comics standard.
Disclaimer: Flash, Kid Flash, and their family and friends are owned by DC Comics under copyright and trademark laws. This pastiche is offered freely as entertainment for fans.
Notes: This is a direct follow-on to “Best Babysitter Ever!” from last week. The news that DC has rethought plans for occasional Kid Flash co-features in Flash prompted me to script such a story, and now another, and to plan out an arc.
Bart Allen, Detective
PAGE ONE (five panels)
Panel 1. WALLY WEST stands in his kitchen, speaking to someone out of the panel. He wears the Flash uniform, but has pushed the headpiece back, leaving his face and hair visible. Some damage from the previous night’s incursion of laser-carrying ninjas is visible behind WALLY, but he’s already plugged the holes in the exterior walls.
WALLY:
Irey, Jai, Bart--they all say one of the ninjas told them this “Tumbler Gang” had planned the attack for when I was on monitor duty.
WALLY:
They wouldn’t make up something like that.
PANEL 2. DICK GRAYSON stands in the West kitchen in full Batman regalia.
DICK:
I know.
DICK:
So this gang knows who you are, knows a Justice League broadcast frequency, and knows our monitor schedule.
DICK:
We need to talk to Bart.
WALLY (off panel):
Bart!
Panel 3. BART ALLEN appears in the doorway from the living room. He wears ordinary clothes and a peeved expression. Behind him stands DAMIAN WAYNE in his Robin outfit.
BART:
Where’s the real Robin?
DAMIAN:
I am the real Robin,…
Panel 4. As DAMIAN continues to rant, BART starts to twirl his finger at super-speed toward the younger boy. DAMIAN’s cape and hair are pushed by the resulting wind.
DAMIAN:
…you hyperactive freak of nature.
Panel 5. DAMIAN is blown back onto the couch by BART’s mini-whirlwind.
DAMIAN:
Ooof!
BART:
Where’s the real Robin?
•
PAGE TWO (six panels)
Panel 1. DICK looks on as BART sits at the kitchen table and starts eating grapes from a fruit bowl scorched by a laser.
DICK:
Red Robin’s working in Europe.
BART:
Okay, that’s cool. So what’re we gonna do about this Tumbler Gang I caught?
Panel 2. DICK, still standing off in a corner of the kitchen, tries to debrief BART as WALLY looks on.
DICK:
You said four men broke in here, and three are in jail.
BART:
I let the last guy go.
WALLY:
Of course.
Panel 3. BART, still holding the grapes, stops eating long enough to justify his decision.
BART:
He wasn’t carrying a laser, just a camera! And he told us everything! So I made him a confidential informant.
DICK:
Do you know his name? His whereabouts?
BART:
Uh, we kept those things confidential.
Panel 4. WALLY rolls his eyes while DICK continues to look sternly at BART, who’s gone back to eating the last grapes.
WALLY:
That’s not how it works, Bart!
BART:
Okay, I know that now! I’m ready to learn a lot from working with you guys.
BART:
Batman doesn’t seem nearly as big and scary as the last time we teamed up.
Panel 5. DICK is suddenly standing right behind BART, looming over him (though not quite as tall as Bruce Wayne loomed, of course). BART senses his presence and freezes nervously.
DICK:
Really?
Panel 6. BART has zipped out of the panel, leaving only a whoosh of wind and an empty grape stem hanging in the air. DICK smiles at WALLY, and one of the Batman eyeholes is closed as he winks. WALLY laughs silently.
BART (off panel):
I should check on the kids!
•
PAGE THREE (five panels)
Panel 1. JAI WEST and DAMIAN WAYNE are about to arm-wrestle on the coffee table under IRIS WEST’s supervision. DAMIAN Is tall for a ten-year-old. BART has zipped over to the sofa and sat down very neatly, still spooked by Batman.
IRIS:
On three. 1…2…
Panel 2. JAI, suddenly all bulked up, slams DAMIAN’s hand down on the table.
IRIS:
…3!
SFX:
Slam!
DAMIAN:
Hey! You used powers!
IRIS and JAI:
Duh.
Panel 3. DICK strides through the living room on his way out, speaking to WALLY, who stands in the kitchen doorway. DAMIAN gets up to follow, still steaming. BART’s eyes are tracking Batman, but otherwise he’s not moving a muscle.
DICK:
Our only lead is the men in custody. I’ll arrange an interrogation.
DICK:
Let’s go, Robin.
DAMIAN (muttering):
About time we blew this freak show.
Panel 4. BART appears at WALLY’s side with his Kid Flash uniform on, tugging on his second glove.
BART:
Okay, so we’ve split into teams. What’ll you and I do?
WALLY:
Please, Bart. Leave this to the Justice League.
Panel 5. WALLY turns away from BART, who looks miffed at what he just heard.
WALLY:
You can’t solve a case like this by just running off in whatever direction occurs to you. You have to think.
•
PAGE FOUR (six panels)
Panel 1. BART in full Kid Flash gear races toward downtown Keystone City.
BART CAP (indicating BART’s internal monologue):
Think. I can do that.
Panel 2. BART dashes toward the convention center, which has a sign out front saying “Keystone City Camera Exposition”.
BART CAP:
I can I can I can.
Panel 3. The credits space across the middle of the page.
BART ALLEN, DETECTIVE
CREDITS
Panel 4. BART dashes into the vast exposition space, which is full of booths displaying camera equipment and people looking at same.
BART CAP:
Guy said he wanted to direct movies.
Panel 5. BART weaves along one crowded aisle of the trade show. A giant-screen video monitor looks down on the scene.
BART CAP:
Must be here somewhere.
Panel 6. The screen shows BART waving with a goofy grin on his face.
BART CAP:
Hey, I’m on TV!
•
PAGE FIVE (five panels)
Panel 1. BART goes back to running along the aisles.
BART CAP:
Concentrate! Think!
Panel 2. BART comes to a halt beside the young man who was NINJA 4 in “Best Babysitter Ever”; for the extent of this installment, we’ll call him HIRAM. He’s standing at the corner of a booth full of small video cameras, slipping one into his pocket, and he jumps at seeing BART again.
BART CAP:
Ha! Found him!
BART:
Ha! Found you!
Panel 3. HIRAM hurriedly empties his pockets of a couple of small cameras he’s lifted from display booths, setting them on the nearest table.
HIRAM:
Hey, I was just checking that these really are pocket-sized.
BART:
Yeah, they’re neat. I have to talk to you about last night.
Panel 4. BART carries HIRAM out of the exhibit hall to a secluded corner of the exposition center.
BART:
What’s your name?
HIRAM:
Uh, Hiram. Mintz. Hiram Mintz.
BART CAP:
Okay, what would Batman do?
Panel 5. BART has set HIRAM down on the floor and is trying to look intimidating. HIRAM is nodding.
BART:
All right, Hiram, you’re gonna contact whoever recruited you for the Tumbler Gang, see? You’re gonna say you and a pal are looking for a new job, see? And you’re gonna meet me at four o’clock outside the Flash Museum-or I find you again, see?
HIRAM:
Okay.
BART CAP:
Four o’clock. Four o’clock. Remember that.
•
PAGE SIX (five panels)
Panel 1. BART is hanging out near the front entrance of the Flash Museum. He is dressed in aviator sunglasses, an oversized parka whose hood hides his face, baggy jeans, and Timberland boots of tremendous size. A family glances at him as they go in, but he doesn’t notice.
BART CAP:
Four o’clock.
BART CAP:
I am a master of disguise.
Panel 2. HIRAM arrives and greets BART.
HIRAM:
Yo, 2005 called. It wants its gangbanger back.
BART:
What?
HIRAM:
Never mind. I set up a meeting with Jimmy the Sausage Man.
Panel 3. HIRAM and BART walk away together.
BART:
So this Sausage Man is boss of the Tumbler Gang?
HIRAM:
No, he’s like a casting director. Rogues call him when they want extra henchmen fast. When they want to link up, get it?
BART CAP:
Slow. Slow. Walk slow.
Panel 4. HIRAM and BART are walking through a seedier neighborhood. Locals stare at BART’s outfit.
BART:
So the Sausage Man hired those ninjas?
HIRAM:
Naw, he just linked up some guys. I found those ninja costumes in a shop on 14th. They made the scene look so much cooler.
BART CAP:
Keep blending in.
Panel 5. HIRAM leads BART into a storefront office with the sign “Sausage Imports & Exports.”
BART:
How’d the Sausage Man find you?
HIRAM:
Hey, he needed to film the action, and I have a rep for quality work.
HIRAM:
And he’s my uncle.
•
PAGE SEVEN (six panels)
Panel 1. HIRAM uses his key to open the door and leads BART into the storefront. There are big photographs and posters of sausages on the walls, but no actual meat products, just an ordinary office setup. UNCLE JIMMY calls from the back room.
UNCLE JIMMY (off panel):
We’re closed! All the packing factories are shut down for salmonella!
HIRAM:
It’s me, Uncle Jimmy!
BART CAP:
Stay slow. Maintain your cover.
Panel 2. UNCLE JIMMY rushes out of the back toward HIRAM. His face is tense, his toupee askew. BART is hanging back, trying to act cool, be the scary silent type, and take everything in.
UNCLE JIMMY:
Peter! Thank goodness you’re okay! That job with the camera--it’s bigger than I thought!
BART CAP:
“Peter”? Have to ask Hiram about that.
Panel 3. HIRAM tries to introduce BART to UNCLE JIMMY, who takes little notice.
HIRAM:
If the job needs more guys, I brought a pal. His name is, um…
BART:
George Jaxon.
BART CAP:
Keep alert. Notice everything.
Panel 4. UNCLE JIMMY tugs HIRAM over to the desk, trying to explain.
UNCLE JIMMY:
No, that wasn’t just the usual Rogues. It was the government!
HIRAM:
What government?
UNCLE JIMMY:
The secret government!
BART CAP:
Stand still. Look ominous. Be scary.
Panel 5. UNCLE JIMMY and HIRAM are grabbing each other by the shoulders. BART spies his faint reflection in the framed poster behind the desk.
UNCLE JIMMY:
Powerful people are out to silence me!
HIRAM:
Uncle Jimmy! Your doctor told you not to get expositional!
BART CAP:
Can see my reflection in that poster.
Panel 6. UNCLE JIMMY slumps against the desk, one hand on his toupee.
UNCLE JIMMY:
I’m sorry I pulled you into this, Peter! But we Karlsons have to pull together!
BART CAP:
It’d be so cool if I had a cape.
•
PAGE EIGHT (one panel)
Panel 1. Full-page panel. HIRAM and UNCLE JIMMY react with shock as a line of machine gun bullets from the street tear through the shop window and into the back of BART’s parka. His figure starts to topple forward under the onslaught.
SFX:
POPOPOPOPOPOPOP
Continued here.
Rating: G.
Content: Humor.
Page Count: Eight pages of comics script.
Summary: Bart foiled the laser-wielding ninjas who broke into the Wests’ house while he was babysitting, and now he wants to be part of the investigation into that plot. Batman and the Flash don’t think so.
Continuity: DC Comics standard.
Disclaimer: Flash, Kid Flash, and their family and friends are owned by DC Comics under copyright and trademark laws. This pastiche is offered freely as entertainment for fans.
Notes: This is a direct follow-on to “Best Babysitter Ever!” from last week. The news that DC has rethought plans for occasional Kid Flash co-features in Flash prompted me to script such a story, and now another, and to plan out an arc.
Bart Allen, Detective
PAGE ONE (five panels)
Panel 1. WALLY WEST stands in his kitchen, speaking to someone out of the panel. He wears the Flash uniform, but has pushed the headpiece back, leaving his face and hair visible. Some damage from the previous night’s incursion of laser-carrying ninjas is visible behind WALLY, but he’s already plugged the holes in the exterior walls.
WALLY:
Irey, Jai, Bart--they all say one of the ninjas told them this “Tumbler Gang” had planned the attack for when I was on monitor duty.
WALLY:
They wouldn’t make up something like that.
PANEL 2. DICK GRAYSON stands in the West kitchen in full Batman regalia.
DICK:
I know.
DICK:
So this gang knows who you are, knows a Justice League broadcast frequency, and knows our monitor schedule.
DICK:
We need to talk to Bart.
WALLY (off panel):
Bart!
Panel 3. BART ALLEN appears in the doorway from the living room. He wears ordinary clothes and a peeved expression. Behind him stands DAMIAN WAYNE in his Robin outfit.
BART:
Where’s the real Robin?
DAMIAN:
I am the real Robin,…
Panel 4. As DAMIAN continues to rant, BART starts to twirl his finger at super-speed toward the younger boy. DAMIAN’s cape and hair are pushed by the resulting wind.
DAMIAN:
…you hyperactive freak of nature.
Panel 5. DAMIAN is blown back onto the couch by BART’s mini-whirlwind.
DAMIAN:
Ooof!
BART:
Where’s the real Robin?
•
PAGE TWO (six panels)
Panel 1. DICK looks on as BART sits at the kitchen table and starts eating grapes from a fruit bowl scorched by a laser.
DICK:
Red Robin’s working in Europe.
BART:
Okay, that’s cool. So what’re we gonna do about this Tumbler Gang I caught?
Panel 2. DICK, still standing off in a corner of the kitchen, tries to debrief BART as WALLY looks on.
DICK:
You said four men broke in here, and three are in jail.
BART:
I let the last guy go.
WALLY:
Of course.
Panel 3. BART, still holding the grapes, stops eating long enough to justify his decision.
BART:
He wasn’t carrying a laser, just a camera! And he told us everything! So I made him a confidential informant.
DICK:
Do you know his name? His whereabouts?
BART:
Uh, we kept those things confidential.
Panel 4. WALLY rolls his eyes while DICK continues to look sternly at BART, who’s gone back to eating the last grapes.
WALLY:
That’s not how it works, Bart!
BART:
Okay, I know that now! I’m ready to learn a lot from working with you guys.
BART:
Batman doesn’t seem nearly as big and scary as the last time we teamed up.
Panel 5. DICK is suddenly standing right behind BART, looming over him (though not quite as tall as Bruce Wayne loomed, of course). BART senses his presence and freezes nervously.
DICK:
Really?
Panel 6. BART has zipped out of the panel, leaving only a whoosh of wind and an empty grape stem hanging in the air. DICK smiles at WALLY, and one of the Batman eyeholes is closed as he winks. WALLY laughs silently.
BART (off panel):
I should check on the kids!
•
PAGE THREE (five panels)
Panel 1. JAI WEST and DAMIAN WAYNE are about to arm-wrestle on the coffee table under IRIS WEST’s supervision. DAMIAN Is tall for a ten-year-old. BART has zipped over to the sofa and sat down very neatly, still spooked by Batman.
IRIS:
On three. 1…2…
Panel 2. JAI, suddenly all bulked up, slams DAMIAN’s hand down on the table.
IRIS:
…3!
SFX:
Slam!
DAMIAN:
Hey! You used powers!
IRIS and JAI:
Duh.
Panel 3. DICK strides through the living room on his way out, speaking to WALLY, who stands in the kitchen doorway. DAMIAN gets up to follow, still steaming. BART’s eyes are tracking Batman, but otherwise he’s not moving a muscle.
DICK:
Our only lead is the men in custody. I’ll arrange an interrogation.
DICK:
Let’s go, Robin.
DAMIAN (muttering):
About time we blew this freak show.
Panel 4. BART appears at WALLY’s side with his Kid Flash uniform on, tugging on his second glove.
BART:
Okay, so we’ve split into teams. What’ll you and I do?
WALLY:
Please, Bart. Leave this to the Justice League.
Panel 5. WALLY turns away from BART, who looks miffed at what he just heard.
WALLY:
You can’t solve a case like this by just running off in whatever direction occurs to you. You have to think.
•
PAGE FOUR (six panels)
Panel 1. BART in full Kid Flash gear races toward downtown Keystone City.
BART CAP (indicating BART’s internal monologue):
Think. I can do that.
Panel 2. BART dashes toward the convention center, which has a sign out front saying “Keystone City Camera Exposition”.
BART CAP:
I can I can I can.
Panel 3. The credits space across the middle of the page.
BART ALLEN, DETECTIVE
CREDITS
Panel 4. BART dashes into the vast exposition space, which is full of booths displaying camera equipment and people looking at same.
BART CAP:
Guy said he wanted to direct movies.
Panel 5. BART weaves along one crowded aisle of the trade show. A giant-screen video monitor looks down on the scene.
BART CAP:
Must be here somewhere.
Panel 6. The screen shows BART waving with a goofy grin on his face.
BART CAP:
Hey, I’m on TV!
•
PAGE FIVE (five panels)
Panel 1. BART goes back to running along the aisles.
BART CAP:
Concentrate! Think!
Panel 2. BART comes to a halt beside the young man who was NINJA 4 in “Best Babysitter Ever”; for the extent of this installment, we’ll call him HIRAM. He’s standing at the corner of a booth full of small video cameras, slipping one into his pocket, and he jumps at seeing BART again.
BART CAP:
Ha! Found him!
BART:
Ha! Found you!
Panel 3. HIRAM hurriedly empties his pockets of a couple of small cameras he’s lifted from display booths, setting them on the nearest table.
HIRAM:
Hey, I was just checking that these really are pocket-sized.
BART:
Yeah, they’re neat. I have to talk to you about last night.
Panel 4. BART carries HIRAM out of the exhibit hall to a secluded corner of the exposition center.
BART:
What’s your name?
HIRAM:
Uh, Hiram. Mintz. Hiram Mintz.
BART CAP:
Okay, what would Batman do?
Panel 5. BART has set HIRAM down on the floor and is trying to look intimidating. HIRAM is nodding.
BART:
All right, Hiram, you’re gonna contact whoever recruited you for the Tumbler Gang, see? You’re gonna say you and a pal are looking for a new job, see? And you’re gonna meet me at four o’clock outside the Flash Museum-or I find you again, see?
HIRAM:
Okay.
BART CAP:
Four o’clock. Four o’clock. Remember that.
•
PAGE SIX (five panels)
Panel 1. BART is hanging out near the front entrance of the Flash Museum. He is dressed in aviator sunglasses, an oversized parka whose hood hides his face, baggy jeans, and Timberland boots of tremendous size. A family glances at him as they go in, but he doesn’t notice.
BART CAP:
Four o’clock.
BART CAP:
I am a master of disguise.
Panel 2. HIRAM arrives and greets BART.
HIRAM:
Yo, 2005 called. It wants its gangbanger back.
BART:
What?
HIRAM:
Never mind. I set up a meeting with Jimmy the Sausage Man.
Panel 3. HIRAM and BART walk away together.
BART:
So this Sausage Man is boss of the Tumbler Gang?
HIRAM:
No, he’s like a casting director. Rogues call him when they want extra henchmen fast. When they want to link up, get it?
BART CAP:
Slow. Slow. Walk slow.
Panel 4. HIRAM and BART are walking through a seedier neighborhood. Locals stare at BART’s outfit.
BART:
So the Sausage Man hired those ninjas?
HIRAM:
Naw, he just linked up some guys. I found those ninja costumes in a shop on 14th. They made the scene look so much cooler.
BART CAP:
Keep blending in.
Panel 5. HIRAM leads BART into a storefront office with the sign “Sausage Imports & Exports.”
BART:
How’d the Sausage Man find you?
HIRAM:
Hey, he needed to film the action, and I have a rep for quality work.
HIRAM:
And he’s my uncle.
•
PAGE SEVEN (six panels)
Panel 1. HIRAM uses his key to open the door and leads BART into the storefront. There are big photographs and posters of sausages on the walls, but no actual meat products, just an ordinary office setup. UNCLE JIMMY calls from the back room.
UNCLE JIMMY (off panel):
We’re closed! All the packing factories are shut down for salmonella!
HIRAM:
It’s me, Uncle Jimmy!
BART CAP:
Stay slow. Maintain your cover.
Panel 2. UNCLE JIMMY rushes out of the back toward HIRAM. His face is tense, his toupee askew. BART is hanging back, trying to act cool, be the scary silent type, and take everything in.
UNCLE JIMMY:
Peter! Thank goodness you’re okay! That job with the camera--it’s bigger than I thought!
BART CAP:
“Peter”? Have to ask Hiram about that.
Panel 3. HIRAM tries to introduce BART to UNCLE JIMMY, who takes little notice.
HIRAM:
If the job needs more guys, I brought a pal. His name is, um…
BART:
George Jaxon.
BART CAP:
Keep alert. Notice everything.
Panel 4. UNCLE JIMMY tugs HIRAM over to the desk, trying to explain.
UNCLE JIMMY:
No, that wasn’t just the usual Rogues. It was the government!
HIRAM:
What government?
UNCLE JIMMY:
The secret government!
BART CAP:
Stand still. Look ominous. Be scary.
Panel 5. UNCLE JIMMY and HIRAM are grabbing each other by the shoulders. BART spies his faint reflection in the framed poster behind the desk.
UNCLE JIMMY:
Powerful people are out to silence me!
HIRAM:
Uncle Jimmy! Your doctor told you not to get expositional!
BART CAP:
Can see my reflection in that poster.
Panel 6. UNCLE JIMMY slumps against the desk, one hand on his toupee.
UNCLE JIMMY:
I’m sorry I pulled you into this, Peter! But we Karlsons have to pull together!
BART CAP:
It’d be so cool if I had a cape.
•
PAGE EIGHT (one panel)
Panel 1. Full-page panel. HIRAM and UNCLE JIMMY react with shock as a line of machine gun bullets from the street tear through the shop window and into the back of BART’s parka. His figure starts to topple forward under the onslaught.
SFX:
POPOPOPOPOPOPOP
Continued here.