[justprompts] Understand
A/N: Because everyone loves emo Winchesters, and it had to be written sooner or later! Beta'd by winchesterjerk's mun, who is awesome and is the reason it's now three pages longer than it originally was. Warning for finale spoilers and some Mary Sue emo.
Also, for the crack value, Grace has a twitter now, guys! And it is covered with unicorns. She hates me right now.
Now, back to your regularly scheduled fic!
When it was all said and done, Dean had Lisa. Not just Lisa, but Ben, too. And Grace, despite everything, wanted to keep it that way. She understood, maybe even in a way that Dean didn’t, that he needed this, the chance to take some time to himself and even the chance to take care of himself for once, rather than worrying about everyone else around him. It’s why, even though she was alone and had no clue what to do with herself, she kept her distance physically and did her best not to hint at anything during their frequent phone calls to each other, and she had a feeling, even though she was too far away from him to know for sure through her link to him, that he understood why she was doing what he was doing. Or at least, she hoped he did.
Grace even sent Dean postcards from the places she traveled to, describing all of the touristy things she was doing and how much fun she was having, leaving out the details she didn’t want him to know. She wrote about how she got sunburned after spending a few days lying on the beach in Mexico, and how she had gone swimming with some dolphins; she didn’t tell him about the Chupacrabra she was hunting. When she went to New York, instead of talking about the haunted hotel she was staying in, she told him all about how she had spent way too much money on new sandals and summer clothes, and that he would not approve and make her take most of it back if he was there with her. Grace even flew to Hawaii, and told her twin all about learning how to hula dance, lying on the beach and not getting sunburned for once, and mentioned that she might have teared up a bit when she saw the whole pig roasted on a spit because she was remembering her own childhood pet, but didn’t tell him about the Nixie she found in a lagoon that was popular with the tourists, or how she had almost drowned going after it.
When she traveled to Loch Ness, she told him about her search for Nessie for obvious reasons. She didn’t, however, tell him about Champ in Lake Champlain, Ogopogo in Okanagan, or the Oklahoma octopus.
Sometimes Grace felt bad about what she wasn’t telling Dean, but she knew that he knew her well enough to figure out what she was up to sooner, rather than later, even if she didn’t like it. They didn’t talk about it, but he did always quietly remind her to stay safe and call if she needed anything, and she would always answer with an “I will. Love you, bye.” And as much as she desperately wanted to go directly to Lisa’s house and hug him and never let go after every phone call, she’d go off to another place instead, send him a postcard, and hope he’d understand why she was keeping her distance.
Dean dashed those hopes the first time he showed up to take her back with him. Oh, he understood, he just wasn’t a big fan of his twin sister’s school of thought.
“The hell are you doing here?” She didn’t even really have to ask. Or say hello. And as soon as she saw him, she completely forgot about her job. “You shouldn’t be here.” Grace decided to show Dean how frustrated she was with him at that exact moment by smacking him in the arm as hard as she could.
Dean just hugged her. “I missed you, too, squirt.”
Grace let herself be hugged, and even hugged back for a minute before she got on his case again. “You’re going back to Lisa.” She wiggled her way out of his grip, dragged him to the Impala, pushed him into the passenger seat, then got in on the driver’s side and, after scooting the seat up, started to drive him back, whether he liked it or not.
The two of them sat in silence for a while, until Dean started talking. “You had to know I was going to show up eventually.”
He was right. She knew. She was just hoping eventually wasn’t so soon. “That doesn’t mean I’m okay with it.”
Dean looked at her. “And I’m not exactly okay with what you’re doing, either.”
Grace rolled her eyes at him. “You should try to be.”
“I did try!”
“Then try harder!”
“Stop acting stupid.” Dean sighed, and pinched the bridge of his nose. “You’re not okay with it, either.”
Grace was almost pouting. “If I wasn’t, I wouldn’t be doing it.”
“You’re only doing it because you see it as your only option.” Dean knew her too well, and sometimes she hated it.
Grace rolled her eyes again. “It’s not my only option. I thought about getting a real job and buying a cat and having an apartment. So…you’re wrong.” He wasn’t.
“No I’m not.” He gave her a knowing look.
“Okay, maybe you’re not. But the point is that I’m okay with it, and even if you’re not, you have Lisa and you should stay there.” Listening to herself, Grace thought she almost sounded like a bossy five year old. “And as soon as we get there, I’m calling myself a cab, going to the airport, and going….I don’t know, somewhere.”
“No, you’re not.” He looked out the window, then back to his sister. “You deserve a break as much as I do.”
Grace shook her head. She was tired of arguing, and it was just going to go in circles the whole night. “Maybe. But that doesn’t mean I want one.”
She was surprised he didn’t respond to that. She knew he was thinking about it. Instead, he reached over, and put his hand on top of hers and squeezed gently. She glanced over at him for barely a moment and gave him a little smile. The rest of the ride was spent mostly in silence. Sometimes they talked about trivial things, like the weather in Scotland and how she should wear more sunblock, but neither of them wanted to go back to the more serious subject. It wasn’t only that, but neither of them thought they were really ready to talk about it without biting each other’s heads off. When they finally made it to Lisa’s, she invited Grace in for dinner, and offered the guest room. Even though Grace said she’d think about it, she took the first opportunity she could to go outside and call herself a cab.
Dean caught her, and hung up the phone before she reached one. “No.”
“You don’t even know what I’m doing.” She glared at him, and snatched her phone back.
“Trying to leave.” There was that look again, followed by a sigh. “You don’t have to. You can stay. Even if it’s only for a night.” It was practically his version of begging her to stay.
Grace bit her lip. She wanted to, but at the same time…she didn’t want to get in the way of him and Lisa. “One night. Then I’m calling a cab and going to the airport in the morning.”
She could have sworn Dean breathed a sigh of relief, and he pulled her in for a hug. And she kept her word, and stayed one night with him and Lisa and Ben, even having breakfast with them in the morning. And then she left, and almost cried when she did.
It was less than a month later when Dean came for her again. And the same process was repeated; she took him home, stayed for two nights this time, then left. And less than a month after that, he showed up at her hotel room door again. “You know, I’m not going to stop this until you stop leaving.”
Grace glared at him, but let him in. “You suck, you know that?”
“No, I just miss my sister.” He looked around at what she was doing. “You done here?”
Grace nodded. “Yeah, I’m done. Finished this morning.”
“Good. Perfect time for a real vacation. Not a fake one where you still work and almost die.” Apparently he hadn’t missed the first aid kit and the fact that it looked like a storm had hit it. “You okay?”
“I’m fine.” She was. For the most part. “And you know what? Fine. I’ll go with you, and I’ll stay, and I won’t leave this time.” She sounded more annoyed with him than she actually was, and knew he was picking up on that. She was actually glad he was there. This time, when they hugged, she was one the one who initiated it. “I’m sorry, Dean. For leaving so many times. I just hoped that if I kept busy, I wouldn’t have time to really think about things.” She wasn’t crying into his shirt. Nope.
Dean hugged her tightly, careful not to bump anything she’d patched up earlier. “And?”
Grace shook her head. “Didn’t work.” Her voice was muffled by his shirt and her voice was hoarse. Anyone else wouldn’t have been able to understand a word that came out of her mouth. “Everything’s still the same. And I’m sorry.”
“Ssshh, I know.” He stroked her hair. “I know you weren’t doing it on purpose.” They stood there a little while longer, until Grace pulled away and wiped at her eyes. “Sorry.”
“Don’t be. You needed it. You should have done that a long time ago.” He was right. Again. “Come on, get your stuff. Let’s go.” He helped her pack her things, and within half an hour, they were on their way.
It amazed her, sometimes, Dean’s ability to read her and know exactly what she was thinking and what she needed. Sometimes, Grace didn’t like it, but she always appreciated it. She’d thought that this time, she was the one who knew what he needed, and she did, to an extent, but, as usual, it was Dean who understood her well enough to know that what she thought he needed was really, in a way, just Grace channeling what she needed, whether she knew it or not. He also knew her well enough to know how to get her there. And Grace found herself thinking that she’d never been more grateful for her twin brother than she was at that very moment.
Also, for the crack value, Grace has a twitter now, guys! And it is covered with unicorns. She hates me right now.
Now, back to your regularly scheduled fic!
When it was all said and done, Dean had Lisa. Not just Lisa, but Ben, too. And Grace, despite everything, wanted to keep it that way. She understood, maybe even in a way that Dean didn’t, that he needed this, the chance to take some time to himself and even the chance to take care of himself for once, rather than worrying about everyone else around him. It’s why, even though she was alone and had no clue what to do with herself, she kept her distance physically and did her best not to hint at anything during their frequent phone calls to each other, and she had a feeling, even though she was too far away from him to know for sure through her link to him, that he understood why she was doing what he was doing. Or at least, she hoped he did.
Grace even sent Dean postcards from the places she traveled to, describing all of the touristy things she was doing and how much fun she was having, leaving out the details she didn’t want him to know. She wrote about how she got sunburned after spending a few days lying on the beach in Mexico, and how she had gone swimming with some dolphins; she didn’t tell him about the Chupacrabra she was hunting. When she went to New York, instead of talking about the haunted hotel she was staying in, she told him all about how she had spent way too much money on new sandals and summer clothes, and that he would not approve and make her take most of it back if he was there with her. Grace even flew to Hawaii, and told her twin all about learning how to hula dance, lying on the beach and not getting sunburned for once, and mentioned that she might have teared up a bit when she saw the whole pig roasted on a spit because she was remembering her own childhood pet, but didn’t tell him about the Nixie she found in a lagoon that was popular with the tourists, or how she had almost drowned going after it.
When she traveled to Loch Ness, she told him about her search for Nessie for obvious reasons. She didn’t, however, tell him about Champ in Lake Champlain, Ogopogo in Okanagan, or the Oklahoma octopus.
Sometimes Grace felt bad about what she wasn’t telling Dean, but she knew that he knew her well enough to figure out what she was up to sooner, rather than later, even if she didn’t like it. They didn’t talk about it, but he did always quietly remind her to stay safe and call if she needed anything, and she would always answer with an “I will. Love you, bye.” And as much as she desperately wanted to go directly to Lisa’s house and hug him and never let go after every phone call, she’d go off to another place instead, send him a postcard, and hope he’d understand why she was keeping her distance.
Dean dashed those hopes the first time he showed up to take her back with him. Oh, he understood, he just wasn’t a big fan of his twin sister’s school of thought.
“The hell are you doing here?” She didn’t even really have to ask. Or say hello. And as soon as she saw him, she completely forgot about her job. “You shouldn’t be here.” Grace decided to show Dean how frustrated she was with him at that exact moment by smacking him in the arm as hard as she could.
Dean just hugged her. “I missed you, too, squirt.”
Grace let herself be hugged, and even hugged back for a minute before she got on his case again. “You’re going back to Lisa.” She wiggled her way out of his grip, dragged him to the Impala, pushed him into the passenger seat, then got in on the driver’s side and, after scooting the seat up, started to drive him back, whether he liked it or not.
The two of them sat in silence for a while, until Dean started talking. “You had to know I was going to show up eventually.”
He was right. She knew. She was just hoping eventually wasn’t so soon. “That doesn’t mean I’m okay with it.”
Dean looked at her. “And I’m not exactly okay with what you’re doing, either.”
Grace rolled her eyes at him. “You should try to be.”
“I did try!”
“Then try harder!”
“Stop acting stupid.” Dean sighed, and pinched the bridge of his nose. “You’re not okay with it, either.”
Grace was almost pouting. “If I wasn’t, I wouldn’t be doing it.”
“You’re only doing it because you see it as your only option.” Dean knew her too well, and sometimes she hated it.
Grace rolled her eyes again. “It’s not my only option. I thought about getting a real job and buying a cat and having an apartment. So…you’re wrong.” He wasn’t.
“No I’m not.” He gave her a knowing look.
“Okay, maybe you’re not. But the point is that I’m okay with it, and even if you’re not, you have Lisa and you should stay there.” Listening to herself, Grace thought she almost sounded like a bossy five year old. “And as soon as we get there, I’m calling myself a cab, going to the airport, and going….I don’t know, somewhere.”
“No, you’re not.” He looked out the window, then back to his sister. “You deserve a break as much as I do.”
Grace shook her head. She was tired of arguing, and it was just going to go in circles the whole night. “Maybe. But that doesn’t mean I want one.”
She was surprised he didn’t respond to that. She knew he was thinking about it. Instead, he reached over, and put his hand on top of hers and squeezed gently. She glanced over at him for barely a moment and gave him a little smile. The rest of the ride was spent mostly in silence. Sometimes they talked about trivial things, like the weather in Scotland and how she should wear more sunblock, but neither of them wanted to go back to the more serious subject. It wasn’t only that, but neither of them thought they were really ready to talk about it without biting each other’s heads off. When they finally made it to Lisa’s, she invited Grace in for dinner, and offered the guest room. Even though Grace said she’d think about it, she took the first opportunity she could to go outside and call herself a cab.
Dean caught her, and hung up the phone before she reached one. “No.”
“You don’t even know what I’m doing.” She glared at him, and snatched her phone back.
“Trying to leave.” There was that look again, followed by a sigh. “You don’t have to. You can stay. Even if it’s only for a night.” It was practically his version of begging her to stay.
Grace bit her lip. She wanted to, but at the same time…she didn’t want to get in the way of him and Lisa. “One night. Then I’m calling a cab and going to the airport in the morning.”
She could have sworn Dean breathed a sigh of relief, and he pulled her in for a hug. And she kept her word, and stayed one night with him and Lisa and Ben, even having breakfast with them in the morning. And then she left, and almost cried when she did.
It was less than a month later when Dean came for her again. And the same process was repeated; she took him home, stayed for two nights this time, then left. And less than a month after that, he showed up at her hotel room door again. “You know, I’m not going to stop this until you stop leaving.”
Grace glared at him, but let him in. “You suck, you know that?”
“No, I just miss my sister.” He looked around at what she was doing. “You done here?”
Grace nodded. “Yeah, I’m done. Finished this morning.”
“Good. Perfect time for a real vacation. Not a fake one where you still work and almost die.” Apparently he hadn’t missed the first aid kit and the fact that it looked like a storm had hit it. “You okay?”
“I’m fine.” She was. For the most part. “And you know what? Fine. I’ll go with you, and I’ll stay, and I won’t leave this time.” She sounded more annoyed with him than she actually was, and knew he was picking up on that. She was actually glad he was there. This time, when they hugged, she was one the one who initiated it. “I’m sorry, Dean. For leaving so many times. I just hoped that if I kept busy, I wouldn’t have time to really think about things.” She wasn’t crying into his shirt. Nope.
Dean hugged her tightly, careful not to bump anything she’d patched up earlier. “And?”
Grace shook her head. “Didn’t work.” Her voice was muffled by his shirt and her voice was hoarse. Anyone else wouldn’t have been able to understand a word that came out of her mouth. “Everything’s still the same. And I’m sorry.”
“Ssshh, I know.” He stroked her hair. “I know you weren’t doing it on purpose.” They stood there a little while longer, until Grace pulled away and wiped at her eyes. “Sorry.”
“Don’t be. You needed it. You should have done that a long time ago.” He was right. Again. “Come on, get your stuff. Let’s go.” He helped her pack her things, and within half an hour, they were on their way.
It amazed her, sometimes, Dean’s ability to read her and know exactly what she was thinking and what she needed. Sometimes, Grace didn’t like it, but she always appreciated it. She’d thought that this time, she was the one who knew what he needed, and she did, to an extent, but, as usual, it was Dean who understood her well enough to know that what she thought he needed was really, in a way, just Grace channeling what she needed, whether she knew it or not. He also knew her well enough to know how to get her there. And Grace found herself thinking that she’d never been more grateful for her twin brother than she was at that very moment.