I don't really know what's going on, outside of the fact that I am abnormally angry and I've been holding it in for to long. I don't know what I'm actually angry about, just that I am. And all the little small things are just like another grain of sand up my ass crack to the point I think I have friction burns.
My vacations usually consist of hermit mode where no one can pull me out of it. Or, a foreign country where I can pretend I don't know anything.
And yes, a lot of this is seeing patterns and whatnot of people that really don't mesh with what I want around me - thoughtlessness being a big one. Unfortunately, it makes me want to bash their head into a wall, to beat something into it. And that's where my problem is. I don't have my safe violence outlet anymore, and I haven't found a different means of accomplishing the same thing.
I could take the time off, I just haven't. It's really hard for me to justify it to myself this year. Next year, it's going to happen, end of story, I do not want another year like this. Ever.
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My vacations usually consist of hermit mode where no one can pull me out of it. Or, a foreign country where I can pretend I don't know anything.
And yes, a lot of this is seeing patterns and whatnot of people that really don't mesh with what I want around me - thoughtlessness being a big one. Unfortunately, it makes me want to bash their head into a wall, to beat something into it. And that's where my problem is. I don't have my safe violence outlet anymore, and I haven't found a different means of accomplishing the same thing.
I could take the time off, I just haven't. It's really hard for me to justify it to myself this year. Next year, it's going to happen, end of story, I do not want another year like this. Ever.
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I think I'm overdue for some nature, too.
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