I feel like I am reading my own journal. Except instead of my brother dying it was my mother's boyfriend trying to fuck me and calling me a lesbian when I resisted. And I think I moved a few more times. But, yeah... Good to know some of us survived. Being strangled by guys is never fun, either. Especially when they propose to you ten minutes later in a desperate attempt to get you back; or maybe to stop you from getting out of the car and running to the poilice that pulled into the parking lot while it was happening... It was definitely time for that situation to change. I am suprised you stuck around as long as you did. And I am glad things changed.
That's really fucked up about the turning blue thing, and I am sorry stuff like this has to happen to anyone. I wasted a lot of time feeling shitty about what happened, but things did turn around. Every time. So I am at the point where I kind of just learned to take things as they come. I get a lot of support from my ma. We kind of worked through it.
Re: Turning BluefreakchyldeApril 20 2005, 20:59:00 UTC
Yeah, I'm also very observant about some things now and making sure I pay attention to things I should. I spent all of that relationship with the "I need to leave this guy" in the back of my head, but didn't listen to it because he was my ticket out of my situation.
Neither of my parents know the extent of this, haven't been able to tell them because I know how it'll make them feel.
Eh, I wouldn't know, honestly. The stigma is horrible, but there are tons of reasons why a suicide fails, not always because someone is too "wuss" to finish the job. I have slashes on my wrist where I did, my failure there was the fact that I'm left dominant and I slit my left wrist because I use my knives with my right hand. God bless the right-handed world for making that one happen. The rest of them were the fact that I was never left in the house long enough for anything to really happen. Little did I know my brother and dad had me on suicide watch, whether they knew it or not.
What if your childhood was near lousy? will I have a near wonderful adulthood? :)
I can't say that I've experienced the same things, because, luckily, my life hasn't had a lot of violoence in it. But there was a lot of lonliness and feeling unwanted which has driven me to the brink of suicide, which is something that I still have to try to cope with sometimes. It makes me glad to know that that all the BS of childhood can be put behind you, and relationships with family members can be mended.
My opinion, life is what you make of it. If you're determined to be miserable, that is what you will get. If you are determined to be blessed with absolute happiness, you will be. ;)
*hugs* As I said on my piddly journal, I'm extremely glad to know and have known you for the short (compared to others who know you) time I have. You're a beautiful person, and not just on the outside. Yes, sappy-me but its true. You kick ass.
OT: Fuzzy/Mara/Selchie! Why haven't you talked to me? Pfft! Hrmph. You all suck.
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As for strangling, I got the "you know, your lips turning blue turned me on." Fucker.
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Neither of my parents know the extent of this, haven't been able to tell them because I know how it'll make them feel.
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I can't say that I've experienced the same things, because, luckily, my life hasn't had a lot of violoence in it. But there was a lot of lonliness and feeling unwanted which has driven me to the brink of suicide, which is something that I still have to try to cope with sometimes. It makes me glad to know that that all the BS of childhood can be put behind you, and relationships with family members can be mended.
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OT: Fuzzy/Mara/Selchie! Why haven't you talked to me? Pfft! Hrmph. You all suck.
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