I think the dialog is better here, though at times they still don't quite sound like children. I liked that you built up the scenery and the environment better, and have described a few more characters.
You're a bit inconsistent about referring to characters by first name, first and middle name, or full name. I know Italian names are a little different, but you should generally stick to one form to refer to a character (once his or her full name is given), unless there's a particular reason (such as emphasis) to provide a different form.
Lapo and Maria Cassia were both ten, and like Ricky, they were too young for Beauxbatons or Durmstrang, but far too old to be left in empty houses alone.
This implies that if they were younger, they could be left in empty houses alone. Which I don't think is what you meant. (Ricky notwithstanding, and apparently he wasn't really left in an empty house -- he had a house-elf. Which reminds me: why didn't the house-elf do anything while Ricky was dragging chickens into the living room?)
This implies that if they were younger, they could be left in empty houses alone Ouch! Damn right. Of course I should have said the opposite. Shall be corrected.
"Truth hurts" is how I heard English children. Actually, as I have to write this in my mind both in Italian and in English, "the truth hurts" would be a bit easier, because Italian would always use the article.
you built up the scenery and the environment better, and have described a few more characters. Thank you, I meant to. As I said a couple of stories ago, this series is meant to reach outwards with the growth of the child and his perceptions. I may want to go back and write a short story about Ricky and his siblings early on, if I get a decent idea, because that is the kind of family background that comes before anything else and that I haven't done as well as I might have.
Speaking of family background, I'm going to mention the mother again. I know this is apparently meant to be a mystery for which you're planning some sort of Big Reveal. However, to simply not even mention her at all is a narrative weakness. Right now, it's as if wizarding children don't have mothers or something, with the question of Ricky's inadequate supervision being a major plot point. Is she working, like his father? Has she been gone since before Ricky can remember? Whenever and however she went away, it should at least be acknowledged that yes, Ricky has/had a mother and she's not in the picture now. You need at least a hint of foreshadowing before you suddenly spring an explanation on us; ignoring her completely and then, somewhere much later in the story, giving us a "And here's why Ricky's mother has never been mentioned until now!" revelation isn't going to feel right.
Also, one other nitpick, while I'm at it:
But Anastasio Attanasio, called Ricky, was not quite like other children.
What would you conclude if you found that a major member of a family is not mentioned at all, to the extent that the youngest family member seems not to know that she exists? Just a hint.
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You're a bit inconsistent about referring to characters by first name, first and middle name, or full name. I know Italian names are a little different, but you should generally stick to one form to refer to a character (once his or her full name is given), unless there's a particular reason (such as emphasis) to provide a different form.
Lapo and Maria Cassia were both ten, and like Ricky, they were too young for Beauxbatons or Durmstrang, but far too old to be left in empty houses alone.
This implies that if they were younger, they could be left in empty houses alone. Which I don't think is what you meant. (Ricky notwithstanding, and apparently he wasn't really left in an empty house -- he had a house-elf. Which reminds me: why didn't the house-elf do anything while Ricky was dragging chickens into the living room?)
Flat and ( ... )
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Ouch! Damn right. Of course I should have said the opposite. Shall be corrected.
"Truth hurts" is how I heard English children. Actually, as I have to write this in my mind both in Italian and in English, "the truth hurts" would be a bit easier, because Italian would always use the article.
you built up the scenery and the environment better, and have described a few more characters.
Thank you, I meant to. As I said a couple of stories ago, this series is meant to reach outwards with the growth of the child and his perceptions. I may want to go back and write a short story about Ricky and his siblings early on, if I get a decent idea, because that is the kind of family background that comes before anything else and that I haven't done as well as I might have.
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Also, one other nitpick, while I'm at it:
But Anastasio Attanasio, called Ricky, was not quite like other children.
Ricky has already been introduced. You ( ... )
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