...I often do it in the middle of the day so that I can leave a message and not have to talk directly to people.  If I ever get a hold of a student's parent (usually the mom), she usually sounds like I just woke her up from a long sofa-nap with a damp towel draped over her forehead.  I feel bad.

MOM (upon learning Colin Farrell plays John Smith in "The New World"):  The real John Smith was nothing like that!  (Lists Captain Smith's many accomplishments.)

DAD:  Yeah, but the real John Smith couldn't move an eyebrow the way Colin Farrell can.