FIC: Cannon Fodder (Five Muppets APO Never Recruited, 1/5)
Title: Cannon Fodder (Five Muppets APO Never Recruited, 1/5)
Fandom: Alias. And Muppets.
Ship: Syd/Vaughn. Dude, I don't get it either.
Spoilers: I think the most current thing is that APO exists. So, characters which have all been introduced by the 4th season premiere.
Rating: G
Summary: They weren't fighting. Not exactly.
Notes: I swore after And Have You Heard Voices? I'd never do this again. But barely_bean talked me into it, which makes it HER fault. Also, yay! to Caro and scrunchy for betaing. Also, I am so, so sorry.
500 words
It wasn't that they were fighting. Because they weren't. Not really. It was just that Syd was tired of it. Vaughn was usually good about the whole thing where she was a better spy than he was, but sometimes, he got this bizarre desire to prove himself. And it always went horribly. He always presented it as being worried about her, about her late nights and her dangerous missions and the way that three showers didn't always get the ash out of her hair. And he was always so serious. She hated how he phrased it: how he wished he could protect her, get her away from all of this.
She wanted to get away too, but she didn't need him to save her. That was why it almost came as a relief when, just before their second trip together in a week, Sloane assigned a third agent to go with them. The new agent specialized in being shot out of cannons, and the way Sloane described it, no one on earth was better.
His name was Gonzo. He was shorter than Nadia, talked more than Weiss, and was covered in bright blue fur. He was a weirdo, alright, and not just in how he looked. For most of the twelve-hour flight, he babbled cheerfully about his friends, his chickens, and his incredible feats. It covered the awkward silence, at least. Even if he was nuts.
Twenty minutes before landing, Vaughn decided to engage. "So," he said conversationally. "You get shot out of cannons a lot?"
Gonzo shrugged. "Well, you know. Cannons, torpedoes, sometimes a missile..."
Vaughn nodded. "You do it all for the US government?"
"Nah. Until last year I was a free agent. I did a lot of freelance work. Fourth of July celebrations, bar mitzvahs, that sort of thing. But that doesn't come with health insurance, and I'm not getting any younger, you know? Plus," he added with a grin, "I've got a chicken to support."
"I understand," Vaughn said. "You're the man of the house."
Sydney studiously avoided eye contact with him and studied the crossword puzzle in the magazine intently, tracing over and over the five-letter synonym for insane.
"Actually," he said, "I'm the only member of the family with opposable thumbs." He looked at Sydney then. "Would you be angry if your boyfriend worked and you didn't? If you were a chicken, I mean."
"Well," she said slowly, "if he didn't let me, I might be upset. But if this was his life's work and he loved it, I wouldn't want to stop him. Any more than I'd want him to stop me."
She stole a glance at Vaughn, and then quickly turned back to Gonzo, who was beaming. "I'm glad," he said. "It's my calling. "
They got to the destination on time, and held hands as they watched him shoot into space. Syd had to admit, the little blue guy was right; she'd never seen anyone shoot out of a cannon better.
Fandom: Alias. And Muppets.
Ship: Syd/Vaughn. Dude, I don't get it either.
Spoilers: I think the most current thing is that APO exists. So, characters which have all been introduced by the 4th season premiere.
Rating: G
Summary: They weren't fighting. Not exactly.
Notes: I swore after And Have You Heard Voices? I'd never do this again. But barely_bean talked me into it, which makes it HER fault. Also, yay! to Caro and scrunchy for betaing. Also, I am so, so sorry.
500 words
It wasn't that they were fighting. Because they weren't. Not really. It was just that Syd was tired of it. Vaughn was usually good about the whole thing where she was a better spy than he was, but sometimes, he got this bizarre desire to prove himself. And it always went horribly. He always presented it as being worried about her, about her late nights and her dangerous missions and the way that three showers didn't always get the ash out of her hair. And he was always so serious. She hated how he phrased it: how he wished he could protect her, get her away from all of this.
She wanted to get away too, but she didn't need him to save her. That was why it almost came as a relief when, just before their second trip together in a week, Sloane assigned a third agent to go with them. The new agent specialized in being shot out of cannons, and the way Sloane described it, no one on earth was better.
His name was Gonzo. He was shorter than Nadia, talked more than Weiss, and was covered in bright blue fur. He was a weirdo, alright, and not just in how he looked. For most of the twelve-hour flight, he babbled cheerfully about his friends, his chickens, and his incredible feats. It covered the awkward silence, at least. Even if he was nuts.
Twenty minutes before landing, Vaughn decided to engage. "So," he said conversationally. "You get shot out of cannons a lot?"
Gonzo shrugged. "Well, you know. Cannons, torpedoes, sometimes a missile..."
Vaughn nodded. "You do it all for the US government?"
"Nah. Until last year I was a free agent. I did a lot of freelance work. Fourth of July celebrations, bar mitzvahs, that sort of thing. But that doesn't come with health insurance, and I'm not getting any younger, you know? Plus," he added with a grin, "I've got a chicken to support."
"I understand," Vaughn said. "You're the man of the house."
Sydney studiously avoided eye contact with him and studied the crossword puzzle in the magazine intently, tracing over and over the five-letter synonym for insane.
"Actually," he said, "I'm the only member of the family with opposable thumbs." He looked at Sydney then. "Would you be angry if your boyfriend worked and you didn't? If you were a chicken, I mean."
"Well," she said slowly, "if he didn't let me, I might be upset. But if this was his life's work and he loved it, I wouldn't want to stop him. Any more than I'd want him to stop me."
She stole a glance at Vaughn, and then quickly turned back to Gonzo, who was beaming. "I'm glad," he said. "It's my calling. "
They got to the destination on time, and held hands as they watched him shoot into space. Syd had to admit, the little blue guy was right; she'd never seen anyone shoot out of a cannon better.