Comments | fox1013: You really can't take me anywhere.

fox1013

You really can't take me anywhere.

Jan 26, 2013 18:10

I never update anymore. And I keep forgetting to reply to comments. I am the worst.

1. I saw HANSEL AND GRETEL: WITCH HUNTERS in theaters yesterday. ( Don't eat the fucking candy. (not spoilery on account of this movie having no real plot) )

lit: awards 2013, comicses, movie: hansel and gretel: witch hunters, muppets

Comments 14

impertinence January 27 2013, 00:10:12 UTC

YOUR REVIEW OF HANSEL & GRETEL IS PERF & MAKES ME WANT TO SEE IT

fox1013 January 27 2013, 00:28:57 UTC

IMP IT IS EVERYTHING YOU CAN IMAGINE AND MORE. IT'S 88 MINUTES OF DRINKING AND KILLING.

impertinence January 27 2013, 00:29:46 UTC

AAAGGGGGHHHH WHY AM I NOT IN A THEATER WATCHING IT RIGHT NOW!!!!!!

fox1013 January 27 2013, 00:59:09 UTC

If you lived here I would drag you RIGHT NOW.

Ugh, why is distance

Thread 5

spicedrum January 27 2013, 00:20:00 UTC

The nudity was not necessarily to the plot, but when I read that something has "gratuitous nudity", it's usually in regard to a lot more nakedness than the very brief shot in this flick.

I grew up watching 80s movies, which featured naked chicks everywhere, for no real reason. This has to be why I'm finding this to be a sticking point.

What computer did you end up getting? (YAY COMPUTER!)

fox1013 January 27 2013, 00:31:24 UTC

The only reason it struck me was how much it was IMMEDIATELY OBVIOUS that the scene was there to show t&a. Like, an almost business-like LOOK BUTTOCKS! NOW BREASTS! I was charmed by how obvious it was.

I got one of the Toshibas we were discussing! (It was more expensive than I'd hoped, but only because I bought the most ridiculously detailed service plan because I know me.)

eleanor_lavish January 27 2013, 00:56:15 UTC

I completely agree with all of your H&G thoughts - it was terrible and great and I liked it mightily. But you left out the part about how the message of the film is CANDY GIVE YOU DIABETES, which made me laugh so hard I cried.

fox1013 January 27 2013, 01:00:51 UTC

OH MY GOD I LOVED THAT. And he doesn't just take insulin, he has to STAB HIMSELF WITH A GIANT SYRINGE EVERY FEW HOURS OR HE DIES.

I assumed for the first half of the movie that it would eventually be used to poke someone's eye out, but then it turned out to just be there because CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT. Which is frankly even better.

eleanor_lavish January 27 2013, 01:05:48 UTC

The first time he did it, I was all OH THIS IS GOING TO BE A PLOT POINT, but really it was just there to say that candy is bad, and makes you have to stab yourself twice a day. God, this movie.

Also, those two were so totally boning, I CANNOT EVEN. I am not one to go immediately to het or to incest, but YUP NOPE THAT IS ALL THERE WAS IN THIS FILM.

midnitemaraud_r January 27 2013, 03:32:47 UTC

We went to see it today and it was a blast! It was exactly what it said on the tin. And I got to ogle Jeremy Renner for 90 minutes with bonus incest because Gemma was kickass and hot. WHAT'S NOT TO LOVE???

(Well, Beth wants to ship Edward. :-P)

(And yes, the opening animation was fantastic!)

fox1013 January 27 2013, 03:42:52 UTC

There was one scene where I legitimately thought they were going to kiss. Like, to the extent that I was shocked they didn't.

spicedrum January 29 2013, 04:31:10 UTC

It was when she fell on him under their old house, right? I almost yelled out "KISS HIM!" but we were in our small-town theater, so I couldn't. If I'd been in the city? Oh yeah, inappropriateness ahoy!

GREATEST MOVIE EVER held for over a year just so the mid-rate "star" could try to bring in more box office

elucreh January 28 2013, 07:11:05 UTC

Man, that first computer is SCARY, I remember it well!