Haven't seen him in a while
The buddha was in my bathroom earlier. Not The Buddha, since he looks far too much like a surfer dude, instead of a plump Indian guy, but buddhas are all sort of one, or none, depending on who you ask. He was cleaning his toes with the little metal bit that flips out from the back of nail clippers. "What is with you and feet, anyway?" I asked him.
He looked up and shrugged. "You do a lot of walking, on the itinerant monk circuit. Ask any soldier how important it is to keep your feet in good condition."
"Could you at least use your own nail clippers?" I asked, and started getting ready to brush my teeth.
"Monks disdain material possessions, because they tie us to this world of illusion."
"Uh huh," I said, then fired up the electric toothbrush and couldn't talk for a while.
"Nevertheless, I have been, as you say, around. You're hardly the only one I see."
I spat into the sink. "I'd kinda hoped I'd be the only one mental enough to imagine somebody like you."
"There is a difference between imagining something and something that comes from your mind," he said, while I rinsed.
I shrugged and cleaned up. "So, I've been busy. Though I more than half suspect that my job and the news are designed to turn my brain into mush so once I get done with work, I just want to go relax and forget the world kind of thing. Be a regular happy capitalist!"
"That's a rather poor excuse," he said.
"Yeah, I got nothin. What can I say?" I said, and shut off the light.
He followed me out into the hall. "I've realized something," I told him, "You're like a god."
The buddha raised a very Spock-like eyebrow at me. "'Cause you," I said, spinning around to point a finger at his chest, "Are a version of some generic wise person conjured up out of pop culture and my self-image. Just like gods are usually set up as people see themselves. Or their parent, depending on which one was all in charge and stuffs. So when you ask Baby Boomers what God looks like, you get somebody who looks like Jerry Garcia. Or Santa Claus. And you get fundies who see God as this father figure who's quick with the metaphorical belt in the shape of a firey eternity. And is still love embodied, or something. Fundamentalist philosophy tends to have a lot of holes in it."
This revelation didn't seem to phase him. "I told you as much about myself when we first met. Thank you for illustrating my point about "fortune cookie sayings" though."
"Meh," I said, "So it wasn't anything new, I don't have that much to think about at work. So speculating based on just the cover of one cartoon comes kinda natural. That and I've been vaguely drifting toward more militant atheism lately."
"Vaguely militant. Such force in your beliefs. Or non-belief, as the case may be."
I leaned against the wall across from my door. "Psh. The closest thing I'd probably be is an agnostic Discordian. I don't believe Eris actually exists, and don't think she cares much what I believe or not. Actually, that's a though, is there a term for somebody who doesn't believe or disbelieve in gods, but just doesn't care? I mean, most any sane god, one would think, wouldn't care if you do good stuff in the name of Jesus, Allah, Buddha, Krishna, or A Series of Random Particle Interactions. And any god that'd damn good people just because they don't believe in them or follow rules that're thousands of years old would seem to be kinda mental."
"A very convienent faith, that. Nicely feel-good, without any restraints, or definitions."
"I stole the idea from the Chronicles of Narnia. I wonder what I'd think if I went back and re-read them now. I'm not that big on eternal truths, anyway. Which is kinda hard to reconcile with things like laws of physics, but I haven't really thought that whole part through that much. I guess the main difference is questioning. I mean, if something was written thousands of years ago, it might have been a good idea then, but not now. Things change."
"'The more things change, the more they stay the same,'" he quoted, "And the eternal nothing underlies the ephemeral surface that we see as life."
"Sure. Anyway, I didn't want to get sidetracked into a discussion of religion."
"You started it," he shrugged, "You really need some more people you can talk with besides yourself."
"Yes, yes, I do," I said, which of course he took as a cue to not be there any more.
So I took the hint and went to bed, before the real hallucinations started. Besides, I was tired.
See Also:
Stories from the Rabbit Hole
Stories from the Rabbit Hole, Part 2
There's a Buddha on My Bed
A Discussion of Procrastination and Buddhism
Buddhablog
Tags: Rabbit Hole, Religion, Mindscribbles, Me
He looked up and shrugged. "You do a lot of walking, on the itinerant monk circuit. Ask any soldier how important it is to keep your feet in good condition."
"Could you at least use your own nail clippers?" I asked, and started getting ready to brush my teeth.
"Monks disdain material possessions, because they tie us to this world of illusion."
"Uh huh," I said, then fired up the electric toothbrush and couldn't talk for a while.
"Nevertheless, I have been, as you say, around. You're hardly the only one I see."
I spat into the sink. "I'd kinda hoped I'd be the only one mental enough to imagine somebody like you."
"There is a difference between imagining something and something that comes from your mind," he said, while I rinsed.
I shrugged and cleaned up. "So, I've been busy. Though I more than half suspect that my job and the news are designed to turn my brain into mush so once I get done with work, I just want to go relax and forget the world kind of thing. Be a regular happy capitalist!"
"That's a rather poor excuse," he said.
"Yeah, I got nothin. What can I say?" I said, and shut off the light.
He followed me out into the hall. "I've realized something," I told him, "You're like a god."
The buddha raised a very Spock-like eyebrow at me. "'Cause you," I said, spinning around to point a finger at his chest, "Are a version of some generic wise person conjured up out of pop culture and my self-image. Just like gods are usually set up as people see themselves. Or their parent, depending on which one was all in charge and stuffs. So when you ask Baby Boomers what God looks like, you get somebody who looks like Jerry Garcia. Or Santa Claus. And you get fundies who see God as this father figure who's quick with the metaphorical belt in the shape of a firey eternity. And is still love embodied, or something. Fundamentalist philosophy tends to have a lot of holes in it."
This revelation didn't seem to phase him. "I told you as much about myself when we first met. Thank you for illustrating my point about "fortune cookie sayings" though."
"Meh," I said, "So it wasn't anything new, I don't have that much to think about at work. So speculating based on just the cover of one cartoon comes kinda natural. That and I've been vaguely drifting toward more militant atheism lately."
"Vaguely militant. Such force in your beliefs. Or non-belief, as the case may be."
I leaned against the wall across from my door. "Psh. The closest thing I'd probably be is an agnostic Discordian. I don't believe Eris actually exists, and don't think she cares much what I believe or not. Actually, that's a though, is there a term for somebody who doesn't believe or disbelieve in gods, but just doesn't care? I mean, most any sane god, one would think, wouldn't care if you do good stuff in the name of Jesus, Allah, Buddha, Krishna, or A Series of Random Particle Interactions. And any god that'd damn good people just because they don't believe in them or follow rules that're thousands of years old would seem to be kinda mental."
"A very convienent faith, that. Nicely feel-good, without any restraints, or definitions."
"I stole the idea from the Chronicles of Narnia. I wonder what I'd think if I went back and re-read them now. I'm not that big on eternal truths, anyway. Which is kinda hard to reconcile with things like laws of physics, but I haven't really thought that whole part through that much. I guess the main difference is questioning. I mean, if something was written thousands of years ago, it might have been a good idea then, but not now. Things change."
"'The more things change, the more they stay the same,'" he quoted, "And the eternal nothing underlies the ephemeral surface that we see as life."
"Sure. Anyway, I didn't want to get sidetracked into a discussion of religion."
"You started it," he shrugged, "You really need some more people you can talk with besides yourself."
"Yes, yes, I do," I said, which of course he took as a cue to not be there any more.
So I took the hint and went to bed, before the real hallucinations started. Besides, I was tired.
See Also:
Stories from the Rabbit Hole
Stories from the Rabbit Hole, Part 2
There's a Buddha on My Bed
A Discussion of Procrastination and Buddhism
Buddhablog
Tags: Rabbit Hole, Religion, Mindscribbles, Me