2005 Year in Review
Welp...
I know you've been waiting for this... the most anticipated Hope's 2005 year-in-review. *sarcasm*
Hum Hum.. Where to begin?
January 1st was spent with Marshall. We were doing sooo well. I was happy. He was happy. He'd taught me how to love again, and I was finally feeling comfortable being with another guy. School started. It wasn't so bad at first.. just going through the motions.. working at TJ Maxx still, seeing Marshall on the weekends. Going to Kat's games. Just enjoying my new life. But I was struggling financially and TJ Maxx wasn't cutting it. I also found out that my ex husband, Bill, had two women pregnant -- all before the divorce was final.
February was amazing. I happened across an advertisement in the University Center for a position at Upper Cumberland Cardiology. I came home that morning and called them, spoke with Michelle for a minute, and she asked me to e-mail her my resume. We set up an interview for the first of the week, and as soon as I walked in, she told me that they had to have me. Starting out at $7/hr (quite an improvement from my $5.80/hr at TJ's). So, I gave TJ Maxx my 2 weeks notice and for a week, I worked both jobs, constantly. That was rough, but I made it through. Somewhere in there was Valentines day.. and to be honest, I think it was the best Valentine's Day I could have ever had. Marshall searched forever to find something that wasn't generic. My valentines day gifts were personalized... Lady and the Tramp'esque. Perfect for me, considering how much I love the movie. I also helped him through the loss of his best friend Emily to her battle with cervical cancer. That was rough, but I was ther as much as possible.
March came around, and for Spring Break, Marshall took me on a surprise trip to Gatlinburg. We had such an amazing time there. It was so nice being with him.. growing with him.. spending the us-time that we had. I was still working at the office, and school was getting tougher for me -- especially Chemistry 2. But, I got a raise at the office up to $9/hr. Within the first month! Amazing! I also.. at that point.. made a critical decision in my college career. I decided I was, after all, going to go to Vet school. I have a lot of work ahead of me, but it will definitely be worth it in the end.
April... well.. April really started sucking. I went to my last Kat's game in April and Marshall and I started falling apart. I started having female issues... so I had to go to the doctor a lot. School wound up.. and finals were the first week in May. Well, the last week in April, I found out Marshall was supposed to be going to a 3 Doors Down concert w/ an online friend from Mississippi, and I hit the roof. It was too much for me to handle, and I just became suspicious of him all the time. Brittney, my coworker and now one of my best friends, had invited me to go with her.. and I'd planned on going, but after I found out about Hannah, I couldn't do it.
After finals, I wound up with a C (in Chem 2) and 3 B's. Not my best semester, that's for sure. May definitely was the beginning of the end. Marshall and I took a break and ultimately broke up the 25th. He broke up with me in a txt message while he was still at work. I was crushed. I tried to keep my mind occupied, but it didn't work. I started working full time at the office, and mine and Brittney's friendship started growing. We had so much fun together. She tried to keep my mind busy, but nothing worked. I couldn't eat, I couldn't sleep, all i wanted to do was cry. I honestly thought we'd get married -- he'd be the high school football coach and I'd be the local veterinarian on some cute little farm with a couple of horses, dogs, cat and damn cute (but eventually balding) kids.
In June, I found out Marshall was moving to Wisconsin. Then, my brother Bryan got married and we (my mom, dad, and I) made a trip across Tennessee with Bryan and Roselle and some of his Filipino in-law's. We wound up in the state of Mississippi -- was the first time I'd ever been. The night of my brother's wedding, I had a nervous breakdown on the way home. Sonja (my biological mother) had decided that she was going to the wedding, but she didn't have a car. So, instead of me getting to ride w/ my mom and dad, I had to drive. She got drunk and made an ass of herself, and left me to drive home with my half-sister, Sasha, at midnight in a scary part of Nashville that I'd never been in before. So, I drove home.. and on I-24, we got stuck in traffic. I was running out of cigarettes and I wanted to just call someone before I flipped out... I wanted to call Marshall. It was the first time I'd been past the Murfreesboro exit and I hadn't been going to his place. Not to mention, I was stuck behind a semi with WI tags. I lost it. It hurt so bad. I was so depressed. So I called Matt, and he talked me through it, traffic finally started flowing, and I made it home (obviously). The night we went to Memphis, my mom, dad, and I were staying the night at my brother's house. My high school ex, Kent was in Nashville for the summer doing an internship, so he came and picked me up and we got to hang out. He'd just gotten back from a semester abroad in Central America. It felt so good to see him again.
July 4th, Marshall and I started talking at about 10 pm on AIM.. he was drinking, and I was more than happy to talk to him. I ended up driving to Murfreesboro at midnight (an hour and 30 min drive).. hoping to set things straight with him. Instead, we had sex and then had this big, long talk about how he was moving to WI, and how we couldn't be together. Not exactly the outcome I was hoping for. I had lost 20+ lbs. since we broke up. I couldn't eat.. and when I did, I threw it back up. I was still working, and I was paying my credit card off -- finally. I was sooo proud of myself for that.
In August, I finally paid off all of my debts. Marshall and I tried to be together again, but it didn't work. I finally paid off my credit card! The $1800 that Bill had ran up when we went on our trek across the grand United States of America was finally behind me. I found out my best friend, Devon was pregnant and that my brother Bryan's wife, Roselle, was pregnant, and that my brother Doyle had proposed to his girlfriend! Lots of good things happened... until the end of the month. The week before school started, my dad went to see one of the cardiologists in my office because he hadn't been feeling well. Dr. Stout decided it was time for him to have surgery. He had a leaky mitral valve and it was causing him shortness of breath, weakness, general fatigue. His heart wasn't getting enough blood circulated and he was in congestive heart failure, class IV (as bad as it gets).
September 1/2 was spent in the Cookeville Regional Medical Center surgery waiting room. Dad went into surgery at 5 pm, and didn't come out until 3 am. Dad had an outstanding surgeon. He had told dad before he went into surgery that if he could repair it, it would be better to have it repaired than to have a prosthetic, because what God gave us is better. But.. after he repaired it, it wasn't working as well as he would have liked for a 73 year old man. So, they went back in and replaced the valve fully. At 3 am, I went home and then had to go to my 8 am class.
That same day.. my biological mother, Sonja, who made an ass of herself at Bryan's wedding, finally got what she deserved. I hadn't talked to her since the wedding.. i was completely finished with her. But, Lisa and I went to El Tap and I came back to the hospital. When I did, her, her "boyfriend" and her daughter came in... Herschel (her "friend") knelt down next to me and said, "Hi Hope, I don't think I've met you before. I've been looking forward to meeting you. I'm Herschel, your mom's friend from church." I looked at him and snapped "she's not my mom." I pointed to my mom and said "she is my mom." And then he had the audacity to say, "oh, but she is your mom" to which I responded, "NO, she's not" and he said "she took care of you, she gave birth to you" (i was shocked.. Sonja had NEVER ever, EVER raised me, and I couldn't believe she had the balls to tell some guy that she had.. just to get sympathy). About that time, I stood up and began gathering my books and said, "SHE was just an egg." I walked passed her, put my finger in her face, said "fuck you" and walked out. I went out to my car and was bawling my eyes out. I was sooo upset over the fact that I couldn't be with my mom while my dad was having surgery because of HER. My aunt called me just a few minutes later and told me that Sonja had left. Apparently my brothers and sisters had set the record straight about her "taking care of me." So that was that... my ties with her were severed, finally.. 21 years in the making.
The rest of September was comprised of studying my tail off for Organic and doing quite well as a product of my time investment. I turned 21 on the 22nd, and definitely had a blast. I was with my most favorite ladies in the world, Lisa and Brittney.. and they helped me celebrate in style! We went to Cotton Eyed Joe's... where I had my shot of Tequila and Tabasco, bought by my old Manager at TJ Maxx. I had soooo much alcohol that night, and woke up the next morning and took an exam at 8 am in algebra still partially drunk and definitely feeling the oncomings of a hangover. Later, I found out that I made a 92 on the exam! That same weekend, I went to see Rascal Flatts for my birthday with Brittney, Karl and Isaac. That was the BEST concert ever.
October was awesome, aside from the fact that Marshall moved to Wisconsin. I had met this super great guy at Tech via myspace. He was helping me with organic and we just started talking more often. My dad still wasn't healing properly from the surgery. Every time he would start to get better, something would happen and he would get sick again. I was making more friends, Lisa and Perry started dating (they're so great). Despite the fact that the day after my birthday, I met an army guy via one of my friends. He was fixing to go to Iraq, and we started "dating" I suppose. Shortly thereafter at the first of October, my "friend" (the one that introduced us) started sleeping with him. Yep, I learned a LOT from that. Especially the part about not drinking an entire bottle of wine in 30 minutes (Eh, James?). The Halloween party was amazing. I had such a great time with everyone.. dressing up, being silly... and enjoying good company. Although.. Lisa, Perry and I were supposed to go to a party for the aforementioned tutor's 21st birthday and he never answered his phone because he was too drunk. School was intense. I was placing all of my time into studying for school... and I was doing good because of it!
November was just as demanding with school starting to wind down. My other brother, Doyle, got married on the 13th. My BEST FRIEND IN THE WHOLE WORLD, Devon, came home from Germany for two whole weeks! I got to see her and her adorable pregnant belly. But it was the damn hardest thing in the world for me to tell her goodbye. :( My organic tutor, James (different James from the wine incident) and I started dating right before Thanksgiving. He had taken a month and a half to get to know me.. and things were turning out great! We have so much in common! I was going to Cosmo's every Weds night for wings with Perry, Lisa and James. I felt like a real college student. I was having fun... my life was going well, and my relationship with James wasn't very taxing on my study time. I was finally getting past all the hurt with Marshall. We'd stopped talking.. Everything was getting better for me. I was finally putting on the weight I'd lost (unfortunately) because I'd began eating again.
I guess.. the thing I am most proud of for December.. would have to be my experience yesterday. I saw Kent at Walmart, but that's not the good thing. I ran into my American history professor with his two little boys at Kroger's. He praised me for doing so well this semester. He looked at me and said "what did you learn in the past year?" I was a bit perplexed so, I responded with "taking 17 hours isn't fun!" and he said, "no, really... you have made a vast improvement since the last semester I had you. I am so very proud of you. And if you keep it up, I have no doubt in this world that you will get into vet school." Now, until that point.. yesterday had been so crappy for me, because James and I aren't exactly in the best position right now.. but after he told me that, I felt as if I could fly. I drove home with this super, super huge grin on my face. Thanks, Dr. Reagan!
Now, here it is.. Christmas Day, 2005. I never thought I'd make it here, but wow.. this year has flown by. This Christmas was a bit lonely, though. This semester came to a close, not a moment too soon. I made 3 A's and 2 B's! I'm so proud of myself for that. It was definitely a hard-earned 3.53. I'm registered for classes next semester, and scheduled to graduate in May of 2007. I'm super excited! Marshall and I have become friends again.. which is nice. I hated being mad at him. He was too special to me.. and still is.. just in a different way now.
Overall, I'm very thankful for all of the happenings of this year. Even though they have been very difficult at times, I made it through them. I'm so much stronger now than ever -- even if my ass is expanding at the speed of light. I'm on the right track to head to Veterinary School. :) New years eve? who knows where it will be spent... I don't care, as long as I'm surrounded by great friends.
Welp.. if you've made it this far, I'm very proud of you. Thanks for reading. It always makes me feel better to write about my year. I love you all!
And.. Merry Christmas!
♥ Hope
I know you've been waiting for this... the most anticipated Hope's 2005 year-in-review. *sarcasm*
Hum Hum.. Where to begin?
January 1st was spent with Marshall. We were doing sooo well. I was happy. He was happy. He'd taught me how to love again, and I was finally feeling comfortable being with another guy. School started. It wasn't so bad at first.. just going through the motions.. working at TJ Maxx still, seeing Marshall on the weekends. Going to Kat's games. Just enjoying my new life. But I was struggling financially and TJ Maxx wasn't cutting it. I also found out that my ex husband, Bill, had two women pregnant -- all before the divorce was final.
February was amazing. I happened across an advertisement in the University Center for a position at Upper Cumberland Cardiology. I came home that morning and called them, spoke with Michelle for a minute, and she asked me to e-mail her my resume. We set up an interview for the first of the week, and as soon as I walked in, she told me that they had to have me. Starting out at $7/hr (quite an improvement from my $5.80/hr at TJ's). So, I gave TJ Maxx my 2 weeks notice and for a week, I worked both jobs, constantly. That was rough, but I made it through. Somewhere in there was Valentines day.. and to be honest, I think it was the best Valentine's Day I could have ever had. Marshall searched forever to find something that wasn't generic. My valentines day gifts were personalized... Lady and the Tramp'esque. Perfect for me, considering how much I love the movie. I also helped him through the loss of his best friend Emily to her battle with cervical cancer. That was rough, but I was ther as much as possible.
March came around, and for Spring Break, Marshall took me on a surprise trip to Gatlinburg. We had such an amazing time there. It was so nice being with him.. growing with him.. spending the us-time that we had. I was still working at the office, and school was getting tougher for me -- especially Chemistry 2. But, I got a raise at the office up to $9/hr. Within the first month! Amazing! I also.. at that point.. made a critical decision in my college career. I decided I was, after all, going to go to Vet school. I have a lot of work ahead of me, but it will definitely be worth it in the end.
April... well.. April really started sucking. I went to my last Kat's game in April and Marshall and I started falling apart. I started having female issues... so I had to go to the doctor a lot. School wound up.. and finals were the first week in May. Well, the last week in April, I found out Marshall was supposed to be going to a 3 Doors Down concert w/ an online friend from Mississippi, and I hit the roof. It was too much for me to handle, and I just became suspicious of him all the time. Brittney, my coworker and now one of my best friends, had invited me to go with her.. and I'd planned on going, but after I found out about Hannah, I couldn't do it.
After finals, I wound up with a C (in Chem 2) and 3 B's. Not my best semester, that's for sure. May definitely was the beginning of the end. Marshall and I took a break and ultimately broke up the 25th. He broke up with me in a txt message while he was still at work. I was crushed. I tried to keep my mind occupied, but it didn't work. I started working full time at the office, and mine and Brittney's friendship started growing. We had so much fun together. She tried to keep my mind busy, but nothing worked. I couldn't eat, I couldn't sleep, all i wanted to do was cry. I honestly thought we'd get married -- he'd be the high school football coach and I'd be the local veterinarian on some cute little farm with a couple of horses, dogs, cat and damn cute (but eventually balding) kids.
In June, I found out Marshall was moving to Wisconsin. Then, my brother Bryan got married and we (my mom, dad, and I) made a trip across Tennessee with Bryan and Roselle and some of his Filipino in-law's. We wound up in the state of Mississippi -- was the first time I'd ever been. The night of my brother's wedding, I had a nervous breakdown on the way home. Sonja (my biological mother) had decided that she was going to the wedding, but she didn't have a car. So, instead of me getting to ride w/ my mom and dad, I had to drive. She got drunk and made an ass of herself, and left me to drive home with my half-sister, Sasha, at midnight in a scary part of Nashville that I'd never been in before. So, I drove home.. and on I-24, we got stuck in traffic. I was running out of cigarettes and I wanted to just call someone before I flipped out... I wanted to call Marshall. It was the first time I'd been past the Murfreesboro exit and I hadn't been going to his place. Not to mention, I was stuck behind a semi with WI tags. I lost it. It hurt so bad. I was so depressed. So I called Matt, and he talked me through it, traffic finally started flowing, and I made it home (obviously). The night we went to Memphis, my mom, dad, and I were staying the night at my brother's house. My high school ex, Kent was in Nashville for the summer doing an internship, so he came and picked me up and we got to hang out. He'd just gotten back from a semester abroad in Central America. It felt so good to see him again.
July 4th, Marshall and I started talking at about 10 pm on AIM.. he was drinking, and I was more than happy to talk to him. I ended up driving to Murfreesboro at midnight (an hour and 30 min drive).. hoping to set things straight with him. Instead, we had sex and then had this big, long talk about how he was moving to WI, and how we couldn't be together. Not exactly the outcome I was hoping for. I had lost 20+ lbs. since we broke up. I couldn't eat.. and when I did, I threw it back up. I was still working, and I was paying my credit card off -- finally. I was sooo proud of myself for that.
In August, I finally paid off all of my debts. Marshall and I tried to be together again, but it didn't work. I finally paid off my credit card! The $1800 that Bill had ran up when we went on our trek across the grand United States of America was finally behind me. I found out my best friend, Devon was pregnant and that my brother Bryan's wife, Roselle, was pregnant, and that my brother Doyle had proposed to his girlfriend! Lots of good things happened... until the end of the month. The week before school started, my dad went to see one of the cardiologists in my office because he hadn't been feeling well. Dr. Stout decided it was time for him to have surgery. He had a leaky mitral valve and it was causing him shortness of breath, weakness, general fatigue. His heart wasn't getting enough blood circulated and he was in congestive heart failure, class IV (as bad as it gets).
September 1/2 was spent in the Cookeville Regional Medical Center surgery waiting room. Dad went into surgery at 5 pm, and didn't come out until 3 am. Dad had an outstanding surgeon. He had told dad before he went into surgery that if he could repair it, it would be better to have it repaired than to have a prosthetic, because what God gave us is better. But.. after he repaired it, it wasn't working as well as he would have liked for a 73 year old man. So, they went back in and replaced the valve fully. At 3 am, I went home and then had to go to my 8 am class.
That same day.. my biological mother, Sonja, who made an ass of herself at Bryan's wedding, finally got what she deserved. I hadn't talked to her since the wedding.. i was completely finished with her. But, Lisa and I went to El Tap and I came back to the hospital. When I did, her, her "boyfriend" and her daughter came in... Herschel (her "friend") knelt down next to me and said, "Hi Hope, I don't think I've met you before. I've been looking forward to meeting you. I'm Herschel, your mom's friend from church." I looked at him and snapped "she's not my mom." I pointed to my mom and said "she is my mom." And then he had the audacity to say, "oh, but she is your mom" to which I responded, "NO, she's not" and he said "she took care of you, she gave birth to you" (i was shocked.. Sonja had NEVER ever, EVER raised me, and I couldn't believe she had the balls to tell some guy that she had.. just to get sympathy). About that time, I stood up and began gathering my books and said, "SHE was just an egg." I walked passed her, put my finger in her face, said "fuck you" and walked out. I went out to my car and was bawling my eyes out. I was sooo upset over the fact that I couldn't be with my mom while my dad was having surgery because of HER. My aunt called me just a few minutes later and told me that Sonja had left. Apparently my brothers and sisters had set the record straight about her "taking care of me." So that was that... my ties with her were severed, finally.. 21 years in the making.
The rest of September was comprised of studying my tail off for Organic and doing quite well as a product of my time investment. I turned 21 on the 22nd, and definitely had a blast. I was with my most favorite ladies in the world, Lisa and Brittney.. and they helped me celebrate in style! We went to Cotton Eyed Joe's... where I had my shot of Tequila and Tabasco, bought by my old Manager at TJ Maxx. I had soooo much alcohol that night, and woke up the next morning and took an exam at 8 am in algebra still partially drunk and definitely feeling the oncomings of a hangover. Later, I found out that I made a 92 on the exam! That same weekend, I went to see Rascal Flatts for my birthday with Brittney, Karl and Isaac. That was the BEST concert ever.
October was awesome, aside from the fact that Marshall moved to Wisconsin. I had met this super great guy at Tech via myspace. He was helping me with organic and we just started talking more often. My dad still wasn't healing properly from the surgery. Every time he would start to get better, something would happen and he would get sick again. I was making more friends, Lisa and Perry started dating (they're so great). Despite the fact that the day after my birthday, I met an army guy via one of my friends. He was fixing to go to Iraq, and we started "dating" I suppose. Shortly thereafter at the first of October, my "friend" (the one that introduced us) started sleeping with him. Yep, I learned a LOT from that. Especially the part about not drinking an entire bottle of wine in 30 minutes (Eh, James?). The Halloween party was amazing. I had such a great time with everyone.. dressing up, being silly... and enjoying good company. Although.. Lisa, Perry and I were supposed to go to a party for the aforementioned tutor's 21st birthday and he never answered his phone because he was too drunk. School was intense. I was placing all of my time into studying for school... and I was doing good because of it!
November was just as demanding with school starting to wind down. My other brother, Doyle, got married on the 13th. My BEST FRIEND IN THE WHOLE WORLD, Devon, came home from Germany for two whole weeks! I got to see her and her adorable pregnant belly. But it was the damn hardest thing in the world for me to tell her goodbye. :( My organic tutor, James (different James from the wine incident) and I started dating right before Thanksgiving. He had taken a month and a half to get to know me.. and things were turning out great! We have so much in common! I was going to Cosmo's every Weds night for wings with Perry, Lisa and James. I felt like a real college student. I was having fun... my life was going well, and my relationship with James wasn't very taxing on my study time. I was finally getting past all the hurt with Marshall. We'd stopped talking.. Everything was getting better for me. I was finally putting on the weight I'd lost (unfortunately) because I'd began eating again.
I guess.. the thing I am most proud of for December.. would have to be my experience yesterday. I saw Kent at Walmart, but that's not the good thing. I ran into my American history professor with his two little boys at Kroger's. He praised me for doing so well this semester. He looked at me and said "what did you learn in the past year?" I was a bit perplexed so, I responded with "taking 17 hours isn't fun!" and he said, "no, really... you have made a vast improvement since the last semester I had you. I am so very proud of you. And if you keep it up, I have no doubt in this world that you will get into vet school." Now, until that point.. yesterday had been so crappy for me, because James and I aren't exactly in the best position right now.. but after he told me that, I felt as if I could fly. I drove home with this super, super huge grin on my face. Thanks, Dr. Reagan!
Now, here it is.. Christmas Day, 2005. I never thought I'd make it here, but wow.. this year has flown by. This Christmas was a bit lonely, though. This semester came to a close, not a moment too soon. I made 3 A's and 2 B's! I'm so proud of myself for that. It was definitely a hard-earned 3.53. I'm registered for classes next semester, and scheduled to graduate in May of 2007. I'm super excited! Marshall and I have become friends again.. which is nice. I hated being mad at him. He was too special to me.. and still is.. just in a different way now.
Overall, I'm very thankful for all of the happenings of this year. Even though they have been very difficult at times, I made it through them. I'm so much stronger now than ever -- even if my ass is expanding at the speed of light. I'm on the right track to head to Veterinary School. :) New years eve? who knows where it will be spent... I don't care, as long as I'm surrounded by great friends.
Welp.. if you've made it this far, I'm very proud of you. Thanks for reading. It always makes me feel better to write about my year. I love you all!
And.. Merry Christmas!
♥ Hope