(for candynoona) internet sensation
For: candynoona
Title: internet sensation
Word Count: ~4,000 words
Pairing: Jongin/Suho
Rating: G
Summary:Jongin's mom always warned him to never give out information online but he thought it was because of stranger danger; not because of the possibility of falling in love.
Author’s Note: There’s a very important message I encoded within this fic! Please take it to heart! On another note, thank you to the prompter and thank you for whoever decides to read this! Another thanks to P, who has been by my side since day one.
✉
Jongin sips his coffee before placing it down on a coaster. He glances around the quiet cafe he sat at, amused at how everyone in the cafe was buried behind their laptops, doing assignments that were due. He remembers when he used to cry over y=mx+b but nowadays, he’d do anything to have that rather than the calculus he has now. Jongin hovers his fingers over the keyboard, searching for the words he wanted to say before finally typing. He, although should be working on an essay himself, was busy doing something else.
EXO_Kai: Hello everyone! How’s everyone’s Friday going? Are you all excited for EXO’s comeback? Hopefully there will be refreshing outfits for this era! Today, I passed by a music store and saw EXO’s poster up on the window...they look the same as always except I think a bit more new. They look pretty nice in eyeliner, don’t they?
Immediately, the fanboard was flooded with responses to Jongin’s question. He smiles to himself, reading the comments and felt like he, too, was part of the band. But he wasn’t, of course. He was just...a very active member on EXO’s fan forum. This was rewarded with plenty of followers which he liked to think as his friends because making friends in real life was pretty hard when you’re as shy as Jongin.
Thump.
Jongin glances up at the figure standing at his table, surprised to see Taemin, his friend from dance. Then studying Taemin’s disappointed face and the attire he was in (sweats and a tank top), he wasn’t so surprised anymore.
”Crap, was the dance practice today?”
”Yeah, dicklick,” Taemin grumbles, sliding into the chair across from Jongin, grabbing the coffee from Jongin’s side and taking a long glub. “I can’t believe you left me alone with that Henry to go over our group dance. If we get a shitty mark, it’s on your ass.”
”Henry’s nice.”
Taemin makes a face. “Yeah, but he’s a bit odd. Show up for practice next time, fanboy.”
”I forgot,” Jongin says, taking the coffee back from Taemin. “Sorry.”
Taemin dismisses his apology with a wave of his hand. “So what are you so busy with that you forgot our dance practice, champ?” He leans over the counter, pushing the laptop screen back to see what Jongin was up to, causing Jongin to nervously bring the laptop screen back forwards. He had already broke a laptop last year and he was sure the expenses for a new one would be coming out of his own pockets this time, rather than his parents. Taemin groans when he sees the fan forum of EXO, slinking back in his seat. “You picked that dumb band over me?”
”They’re not dumb,” Jongin defends, finishing the last of his coffee. Which, realistically, was a drop because Taemin had drang practically all of it.
”You didn’t deny that you picked them over me.” Jongin laughs lightly as Taemin drums his fingers on the table, studying the menu at the front of the cafe. ”You could spend your time more productively.” Taemin pauses. “Like attending dance practice.”
Jongin sighs. “Sorry.” He glances at the time at the bottom corner of his laptop and closes it. “My English lecture starts soon so I have to go.” He stands up, sliding his laptop back in his bag.
”Next practice is tomorrow at 4pm. Don’t be late.” Taemin says, pointing a finger at Jongin. “I’ll slaughter your ass if you are.”
”Got it. Practice, tomorrow, 4pm. Late, equals death,” Jongin repeats, holding out the empty cup of coffee to Taemin. “Want the rest of it?”
”I’m not an idiot, Jongin. That’s empty.”
Jongin laughs,, nodding admittingly as he made his way to the door before calling out to Taemin. “How’d you know?”
”Please. We both know you’d never give coffee to someone who dissed your favourite band.”
✉
Dancing was something Jongin liked. Shakespere on the other hand, was not.
Which is why it’s not surprising to have his mind wander as his professor goes on to talk about the various plays the famous writer wrote. Jongin stares at the notes he had blankly jotted down in his word document and decides he’ll record the rest of the lecture. He was worn out from doing nothing all day.
So, Jongin sets up the recorder on his phone and opens his web browser, lightly tapping over the keys. What to do, what to do? Even when he talked himself out of taking notes, there wasn’t exactly an alternative to what he could be doing. Jongin finds himself typing in the URL to the EXO forum, a place where he belonged rather than the lecture hall.
It seems like everything happens for a reason because there was quite a commotion on the site. Once again, there had been another fight among fans, one accusing another of being a ‘fake fan’ and another defending how they had the right to their own ‘opinion’.
It was times like this where Jongin found fandoms tiresome. There was no such thing as ‘fake fan’ and he hated it when people fought over that term. Secondly, people were often using the ‘freedom of speech’ excuse to hurt other people’s feelings. Most of the time, Jongin would sit the fight out, not really saying much because it was pointless to do so. But it was a tiring day and this time, the fight was strictly towards a fanboy. He was new to the forum, Jongin could tell, by the amount of followers he had (which was none) and his username wasn’t much of a help. Jjajangmyun? What kind of idiot uses noodles as their username on a band forum? Jongin finds himself thinking as he shakes his head. Nevertheless, this black bean noodle fan was also a fan of EXO which made Jongin feel overwhelmed by fights like these. Jongin was overwhelmed by fights, period.
EXO_Kai: Just a reminder that fights with each other are anything but nice. We all like the same band, we all like the same music so what reason is there for one another to fight? It doesn’t matter how long one has been a fan; it does not make you more of a fan if you have supported a band longer. It doesn’t matter which other bands you stan; it does not make you more of a fan if you support only EXO. It doesn’t matter what gender you are; it does not make you more of a fan if you’re not ‘supposed to’ be doing sports. All you need to do is support the band and love each other.
Feeling as if he had gotten a load off his chest, Jongin sighs happily as he clicks ‘post’. He’s not sure if he’s helped or made the situation worse for Jjajangmyun but Jongin wishes that with his amount of followers, some light should be shined on problems like these.
He’s satisfied with himself until a notification pops up on his laptop.
@jjajangmyun has sent you a message!
✉
“There’s the fanboy,” Taemin greets as Jongin pushes open the door to the dance studio they had booked to themselves for the evening. “Glad you remembered your classmates for once.”
”Taemin told me you’re a fan of EXO,” Henry pips up from the corner of the studio, tying his shoelace. “You must get a lot of girls, huh?”
Jongin shrugs, setting his bag down. “I’m not in the fandom for girls. I like their music.”
”Right.”
”So, champ, ready to see what we have for our assignment?” Taemin asks, springing over to the stereo as he placed a CD into the slot. “It’s a work of art. True magic.”
”We should use bunnies in our act,” Henry adds and Taemin frowns. “Or not.”
”You guys set up. I’ll be with you in a moment,” Jongin says, opening his laptop which was already open to the fan forum, like it always was. Except this time, there was a slight difference. He had a message. Again. In fact, he had plenty of open messages ever since yesterday from a specific user: Jjajangmyun.
”Aw, come on, Jongin. The one time I get you away from your fandom, you’re still with your fandom,” Taemin whines and Jongin laughs, waving him off.”
”It’ll only be a second,” Jongin promises and Taemin sighs, rolling his eyes.
”A second on your fan forum is two hours in our time, fanboy. Be quick,” Taemin says, turning back to Henry and the stereo. Jongin gladly opens his messages.
Jjajangmyun: Your words on the fandom fights couldn’t be any truer! Fans need to stick together, J.
EXO_Kai: Our fandom has a rep of being quite...scary. I say ‘our’ but I don’t really have a clue if you’re a fan of EXO or not considering your username. I believe the Black Bean Noodle fan forum is on another site.
Jjajangmyun: Haha! Funny! No wonder you’re so popular on the site. I’m pretty new but even I know you’re well known. And yes, I am a fan of EXO but I’m a fan of black bean noodles too so maybe you should forward the URL to their forum? J.
EXO_Kai: I’ll send it over once I find it myself. If there is a forum for black bean noodles, you can bet I’m getting the VIP package.
Jjajangmyun: Trust me; with all this drama in the fandom it’s probably safer to move to the black bean noodles fandom anyways. J.
Jongin lets out a laugh. Taemin and Henry look over, perplexed expressions on their faces and Jongin decides he’ll respond to Jjajangmyun later. Or perhaps Jongin will start calling him J. He always signed off with that letter, and frankly it was easier to type. Jongin shuts the laptop and slides it off his lap, placing it back in his book bag before tightening his shoelaces and standing up.
”I’m ready now,” Jongin coughs, walking towards the two.
Taemin smirks. “What’s so funny in your fandom now?”
”Nothing.” Jongin presses a few buttons on the stereo. “Let’s start now.”
”Have you finally tried out online dating due to the hopeless case of nervous Jongin who gets so nervous around girls, he can’t even talk?”
”God, Taemin, you’re so annoying.”
✉
Jjajangmyun. Also known as Kim Junmyeon. Age 23, born on May 22, 1991. 175cm, blood type: AB. Favourite movie: Pirates of the Caribbean. Jongin felt like he knew more about Junmyeon than he knew himself. As the months progressed, forum chatting had grown to texting, which eventually turned into phone calls. Junmyeon had a smooth voice: soft, and honey like. His laughs were always light and Jongin imagines him with soft features as well.
It was weird. With Junmyeon, Jongin felt like he was someone else. He was no longer the shy university student when he talked to Junmyeon. He was a cool, funny talented dancer. Well, in Junmyeon’s eyes anyways.
”Let me see you dance,” Junmyeon is saying over the phone on evening. Jongin is laying on the couch, and the TV is on but Jongin isn’t really watching. He’s staring at the ceiling instead because he finds it’s easier to concentrate on Junmyeon’s voice this way.
Jongin laughs, playing with the blanket that’s thrown over the couch. “How?”
Junmyeon goes silent. “Don’t you have any Youtube videos or something?”
”Oh. Well, I think Taemin might have posted some of our dance covers online. What about you? Can I hear you sing?” His roommate was sure to be home soon so Jongin was going to make the best of the phone call.
Junmyeon thinks for a moment, pondering on the request. “Ah, but I just came back from my vocal practice.”
”That’s okay.”
”My voice might crack.”
”It’s okay,” Jongin whispers and Junmyeon pauses for the second time. Jongin wonders if he should have urged Junmyeon at all but when the older male clears his throat, Jongin is surprised by what’s to come after.
Junmyeon sings History from EXO-K’s first album. He had even sweeter vocals than voice and Jongin has to turn off the TV to listen more carefully. Jongin swears if he closed his eyes, it’d almost be like - Junmyeon’s singing is cut off when there’s some clattering. Like someone picking up the other side of the phone.
”Hellooooooooo? Who has hyung been talking to all day and night recently?”
”Chanyeol, get off the - “
A distant voice in the background pips up. ”Oh, is it that Jongin fellow that hyung won’t stop talking about?”
”Hyunnie, old pal, I think you may be right.” The first voice returns, loud and clear. “Is this Jongin? Kim Jongin, the dancer?”
Jongin is about to reply when the line goes dead and Jongin is left listening to the dial tone.
✉
EXO_Kai: Is it always that hectic at your dorm?
The two boys had decided to return to the online chat rather than calling tonight. Junmyeon was terrified that someone would pick up the phone again.
Jjajangmyun: Frankly.
Jjajangmyun: Sorry.
EXO_Kai: Don’t be! I understand. Having five dorm members must be hard. It’s hard enough here with just one! But it must be nice to have so many people to rely on. Like brothers almost, no?
Jjajangmyun: They’re nice kids but it’d be nice if they’d listen to me every now and then.
Jongin stares at the screen and frowns. He can’t help but notice how Junmyeon wasn’t his usual peppy self.
EXO_Kai: Are you alright?
Jjajangmyun: Oh! Yes, I’m fine. Sorry, I’m just worried about some things and thinking. And tired.
EXO_Kai: Thinking about?
Jjajangmyun: Oh, it’s nothing really. Don’t worry about it. Forget I mentioned it.
Jongin’s frown deepens and he slinks down in the couch. Although Junmyeon and Jongin had grown very close and even the fans on the forum had begun to ship them together, there was always some things Junmyeon refused to mention. Jongin wanted to know more about his acting classes, why he was scared of heights and most importantly, what Junmyeon was thinking of. Sometimes, Junmyeon would tell him: he’d tell Jongin about how his feet ached, how his medicine wasn’t working or how dinner was horrible. But other times, the times where it counted, Junmyeon never said another word. Jongin never knew why Junmyeon barely got sleep, how his roommates were and why Junmyeon refused to Facetime.
Jongin thinks maybe Junmyeon is just camera shy but Junmyeon’s excuses got more and more frequent that Jongin had stopped asking. At first, Jongin didn’t think much of it because everyone had their own personal life but at this point, didn’t at least Jongin mean something to him? Did Junmyeon not trust him? There wa specific part of Junmyeon’s life where he kept locked up. Jongin was dying to get the key.
EXO_Kai: Why do you always do that?
Silence for a second. Neither of them type.
Jjajangmyun: Do what?
EXO_Kai: You know what I’m talking about. Every time I try to get closer to you, you push me away.
Jjajangmyun: Not because I want to.
EXO_Kai: Then why?
Jjajangmyun: I can’t say. I’m sorry.
Jongin sighs and signs off without even saying goodnight.
✉
”Why so glum, chum?” Taemin sighs, slinging an arm over Jongin the week after as Jongin ties his shoe. Jongin blinks and Taemin rolls his eyes. “You don’t seriously think I haven’t noticed? You’re obviously upset about something.”
Jongin shrugs. He didn’t know himself why he was so down even though the answer was pretty clear. “You don’t really care.”
”Of course I do, buddy boy. Tell me all your problems.” Taemin takes his arm off of Jongin and sits down on the bench where Jongin’s leg was earlier. Jongin stands straight and studies
Taemin who stared up eagerly. “Okay, truthfully, whatever it is is affecting your dancing. You’re growing sloppy.”
”Right.”
”But tell me anyways. You obviously need to talk to someone.” Taemin pauses. “Speaking of, where’s your noodle buddy? I haven’t seen you glued to your laptop recently like you always are nowadays.”
”He’s being dumb,” Jongin grumbles and Taemin makes an O with his mouth.
”Ahh, boy trouble. Tell Dr. Lee all about it.” He pats the spot next to him and Jongin reluctantly sits down. Henry wasn’t here yet so Jongin supposes it’s safe.
”Do you think it’s safe to be a complete open book to someone and then have them act like a locked diary?”
Taemin blinks and then clears his throat. “Bud, Jongin my friend, I know you’re a writer and all but you’re going to have to dumb down the lingo for me to understand.”
Jongin closes his eyes and leans back on his arms. “Junmyeon has secrets.”
”Everyone has secrets.”
”Yes but,” Jongin opens his eyes to look at Taemin, “Junmyeon isn’t like that.”
Taemin grimaces and shakes his head. “Hate to break it to you but you met this guy online. How do you not know he’s some sort of pedophile?”
Jongin twacks his friend’s arm who cackles in delight. “Forget it.”
”Okay, but seriously, I think he’s just scared. Of how you’re going to react to whatever his secret is, pedophile or not. What if you don’t accept him, you know? Everyone’s scared of being accepted.” Jongin’s pocket vibrates and he half-heartily takes it out. A familiar name flashes across the screen. “That’s him, isn’t it? He probably has a good reason to why he won’t tell you. Have faith in him. If he’s as good of a guy as you say he is.”
Jongin doesn’t reply. He just stares at the number flash across his screen.
”You’re going to pick up, aren’t you?”
Jongin’s fingers go numb before pressing the answer button. He stands up, his hand pressed to the receiver. “I’m going to take this outside.”
Taemin holds up his hands. “Go ahead. Can you call Henry afterwards? He’s about two hours late and he can’t call because he doesn’t know how to work his damn phone.”
Jongin slips out of the dance room, and slowly brings the phone to his face. “Hello?”
”I’m sorry.” It comes out rushed but Jongin hears it loud and clear. He asks Junmyeon to repeat himself anyways. “I’m sorry.”
”It’s okay.” Jongin’s voice comes out like a whisper. “It’s okay,” he says again, louder.
”It’s been like two days but I feel like I haven’t talked to you in forever.” Junmyeon laughs and Jongin hadn’t realized how much he missed the sound. “I’ve missed you.”
”Me too.”
Jongin’s heart is racing at such a fast speed, he’s sure his heart is going to jump out of his chest.
”You mean a lot to me, you know.” Junmyeon continues. “I’m just...there are things I have to keep under wraps right now before I can tell you a few things. These few months have been probably the best months, even if that’s exaggerating a bit. I don’t know what to say. I’m sorry,” he says again and laughs lightly, his nervousness vibrating from the phone.
Junmyeon doesn’t confess.
”I know how you can make it up to me.” Jongin takes a deep breath.
”Oh, perfect. What is it?”
”I...I have this dance performance this weekend. On Saturday. And Taemin will be there, and so will Henry and...I don’t know. It’d be nice for you to come.”
What Jongin wants to hear is an enthusiastic agreement. He wants to hear the plans being made, the commitment and excitement to build. Jongin wants to finally meet Junmyeon, someone who has crawled up behind his skin without him even noticing.
But instead, he hears silence.
A simple no, a gentle decline or even a ‘I’m busy’ would have been better than what Junmyeon had to say: “I’m sorry.”
Jongin recoils, hurt and whispers a quiet “it’s okay”, before a “I have to go” and then following up with a “goodbye”.
✉
Jongin’s excuse for going on hiatus on his forum was he was too busy with the dance performance to blog or chat. Too busy to talk, too busy to desteraptely glue back the pieces of a relationship that was falling apart. Taemin doesn’t bother asking about Junmyeon anymore. Jongin figures it’s because it’s not ruining the dance performance by much. Every once a while, Jongin misses a beat or even skips a move but if anything, Jongin’s dancing better than he’s ever danced in his entire life.
A performance to wow the people who bothered to show up.
Jongin’s second excuse is that he had some things to sort out in his life before returning to the forum. It was a phrase Jongin was familiar with considering he heard it so much.
”Jongin.”
Jongin lifts his head and blinks slowly, his eyes growing heavy. “Yeah?”
Taemin stares back at him for a moment before shaking his head. ”I said, we have to arrive two hours early tomorrow at the banquet for makeup and hair. Think you can make it on time?”
”That’s fine,” Jongin mutters and stands from the ground, dusting off his sweats and walking over to his bag.
”Are you sure you’ll be fine? You haven’t had much sleep these past days; I can see it by the bags under your eyes.” Henry furrows his eyebrows. “I don’t want you fainting mid dance.”
”I’ll be fine. See you tomorrow.” Jongin drags himself home and lets his body crash onto the bed.
✉
About five hundred people.
That’s what the banquet hall looked like on Saturday night. It was so packed Jongin was beginning to worry about it. What if he messed up? Surely, one of the five hundred people here were news reporters and they’d write about Jongin, and how he messed up and no company would ever hire Jongin then. Internet Sensation EXO_KAI Falls Flat on His Face! is what would be plastered across every newsstand the next day.
Then Jongin realizes he doesn’t even care anymore.
”Three minutes! Places everyone!”
Jongin stares at himself in the mirror. His hair was pushed back, and his makeup was done lightly so that it looked natural. The makeup hid his sleepless face, at least. He closed his eyes and rolled his head back, growing more tired within the seconds that ticked by slowly. One, two, three. Jongin felt like this night would never end.
Jongin peeks back at the crowd. Five hundred and ten maybe. At least five hundred and ten. No less than that, for sure. But Jongin begins to notice the people weren’t moving to their seats.
They were moving towards something. Or rather someone, really. Cameras are going off, there’s a lot of noise too. Jongin goes on his tippy toes, just to get a better look and sees a familiar face. One he was familiar with, yet didn’t know too well.
It’s Suho.
For a second, Jongin is sure that he’s hallucinating. There’s no way that an idol, let alone the leader of the most popular boy band in the century, would arrive to see a pity dance put together by three dance majors.
But then Suho, the leader of EXO, holds up a bag. Jongin freezes.
”Alright, alright! Dim the lights! Play the music! It’s showtime! It’s showtime, people!”
All Jongin can see between the blinding lights and hundreds of faces in front of the stage was the letters ‘Jjajangmyun Delivery’ written across the bag that was held by Suho.
✉
Jjajangmyun is Junmyeon. Junmyeon is Suho. Suho is Jjajangmyun.
Jongin paces his dressing room. Then sits down. Then stands up and paces again.
”I can get used to this!” Taemin bursts into his room, grinning from eye to eye. His smile is a million watt one. “I’m being interviewed by every single reporter out there!”
Henry follows not too far behind. “They’re asking for you too, you know. You should go out.”
Their dance received a standing ovation. The people loved it. But Jongin’s not completely sure what’s happening is real. It’s all a blur. Jongin gives them a weak smile before continuing to pace.
”You should be ecstatic! Why aren’t you ecstatic?”Henry sits down on a couch in the dressing room and Taemin immediately pulls him back up.
”Because he’s ‘sorting out his life’,” Taemin says, using the air quotes and Jongin stops to stare at him. “What, you think I don’t check on your blog every now and then?”
At that time, Suho appears at the door and without another word Taemin and Henry disappear, signalling they’d be waiting outside. Jongin’s sure, 100% sure, that his heart was going to jump out of his chest.
Junmyeon hands him a bouquet of followers, then the bag of noodles before giving Jongin a small smile. Junmyeon’s shorter than Jongin’s imagined. He’s probably 5’5, if not shorter. Jongin towers over him. Like his voice, Junmyeon’s features are light and gentle. His eyes are warm and inviting, and his lips...his lips are a soft and pink. His skin looks soft too and Jongin wants to touch just to make sure but he resists it by leaning back against his dresser.
”So, you’re...Suho.”
Junmyeon grimaces. “Yeah.”
”And you’re also...Junmyeon.”
Junmyeon puckers his lips with a loud smack. God. “Yup.”
Jongin shakes his head. “I don’t understand.”
”The members and I usually have accounts on our forums to see how the fans are. It’s a good way to find out what’s going on within our fandom.”
”So that day on the phone, that was…”
”Chanyeol and Baekhyun,” Junmyeon nods, sighing. “Look, I wanted to tell you but the risk was too high and now…”
”And now…?”
Junmyeon smiles and Jongin holds his breath. “Now, I don’t care.”
Jongin pauses and then buries his face in his hands. “God, this is so embarrassing. I’m a fan of the damn band you’re in. I’m a fan of you, oh my fucking god.”
”No, it’s oka - “
”God.”
Junmyeon laughs. “You’re as cute as you are over the phone.”
Jongin lifts his head to stare at Junmyeon whose eyes were shining and buries his face in his hands once again.
”God.”
✉
The newspapers do write about Jongin.
They write about Jongin, and Taemin and Henry and their dance. They also write about Junmyeon. They write about Junmyeon and Jongin, and Jongin and Junmyeon, and Junmyeon and Jongin. Jongin, Junmyeon, Jongin, Junmyeon.
Jongin had deactivated his forum due to several reasons and decided to just work on his dancing. Taemin was recruited by the same company as Suho, and soon after so was Henry and Jongin. He’s still a fan of EXO (he kind of has to be considering Junmyeon was the leader of the band), and he’s an even bigger fan of Junmyeon and his gentle features and warm voice and soft lips.
Title: internet sensation
Word Count: ~4,000 words
Pairing: Jongin/Suho
Rating: G
Summary:Jongin's mom always warned him to never give out information online but he thought it was because of stranger danger; not because of the possibility of falling in love.
Author’s Note: There’s a very important message I encoded within this fic! Please take it to heart! On another note, thank you to the prompter and thank you for whoever decides to read this! Another thanks to P, who has been by my side since day one.
✉
Jongin sips his coffee before placing it down on a coaster. He glances around the quiet cafe he sat at, amused at how everyone in the cafe was buried behind their laptops, doing assignments that were due. He remembers when he used to cry over y=mx+b but nowadays, he’d do anything to have that rather than the calculus he has now. Jongin hovers his fingers over the keyboard, searching for the words he wanted to say before finally typing. He, although should be working on an essay himself, was busy doing something else.
EXO_Kai: Hello everyone! How’s everyone’s Friday going? Are you all excited for EXO’s comeback? Hopefully there will be refreshing outfits for this era! Today, I passed by a music store and saw EXO’s poster up on the window...they look the same as always except I think a bit more new. They look pretty nice in eyeliner, don’t they?
Immediately, the fanboard was flooded with responses to Jongin’s question. He smiles to himself, reading the comments and felt like he, too, was part of the band. But he wasn’t, of course. He was just...a very active member on EXO’s fan forum. This was rewarded with plenty of followers which he liked to think as his friends because making friends in real life was pretty hard when you’re as shy as Jongin.
Thump.
Jongin glances up at the figure standing at his table, surprised to see Taemin, his friend from dance. Then studying Taemin’s disappointed face and the attire he was in (sweats and a tank top), he wasn’t so surprised anymore.
”Crap, was the dance practice today?”
”Yeah, dicklick,” Taemin grumbles, sliding into the chair across from Jongin, grabbing the coffee from Jongin’s side and taking a long glub. “I can’t believe you left me alone with that Henry to go over our group dance. If we get a shitty mark, it’s on your ass.”
”Henry’s nice.”
Taemin makes a face. “Yeah, but he’s a bit odd. Show up for practice next time, fanboy.”
”I forgot,” Jongin says, taking the coffee back from Taemin. “Sorry.”
Taemin dismisses his apology with a wave of his hand. “So what are you so busy with that you forgot our dance practice, champ?” He leans over the counter, pushing the laptop screen back to see what Jongin was up to, causing Jongin to nervously bring the laptop screen back forwards. He had already broke a laptop last year and he was sure the expenses for a new one would be coming out of his own pockets this time, rather than his parents. Taemin groans when he sees the fan forum of EXO, slinking back in his seat. “You picked that dumb band over me?”
”They’re not dumb,” Jongin defends, finishing the last of his coffee. Which, realistically, was a drop because Taemin had drang practically all of it.
”You didn’t deny that you picked them over me.” Jongin laughs lightly as Taemin drums his fingers on the table, studying the menu at the front of the cafe. ”You could spend your time more productively.” Taemin pauses. “Like attending dance practice.”
Jongin sighs. “Sorry.” He glances at the time at the bottom corner of his laptop and closes it. “My English lecture starts soon so I have to go.” He stands up, sliding his laptop back in his bag.
”Next practice is tomorrow at 4pm. Don’t be late.” Taemin says, pointing a finger at Jongin. “I’ll slaughter your ass if you are.”
”Got it. Practice, tomorrow, 4pm. Late, equals death,” Jongin repeats, holding out the empty cup of coffee to Taemin. “Want the rest of it?”
”I’m not an idiot, Jongin. That’s empty.”
Jongin laughs,, nodding admittingly as he made his way to the door before calling out to Taemin. “How’d you know?”
”Please. We both know you’d never give coffee to someone who dissed your favourite band.”
✉
Dancing was something Jongin liked. Shakespere on the other hand, was not.
Which is why it’s not surprising to have his mind wander as his professor goes on to talk about the various plays the famous writer wrote. Jongin stares at the notes he had blankly jotted down in his word document and decides he’ll record the rest of the lecture. He was worn out from doing nothing all day.
So, Jongin sets up the recorder on his phone and opens his web browser, lightly tapping over the keys. What to do, what to do? Even when he talked himself out of taking notes, there wasn’t exactly an alternative to what he could be doing. Jongin finds himself typing in the URL to the EXO forum, a place where he belonged rather than the lecture hall.
It seems like everything happens for a reason because there was quite a commotion on the site. Once again, there had been another fight among fans, one accusing another of being a ‘fake fan’ and another defending how they had the right to their own ‘opinion’.
It was times like this where Jongin found fandoms tiresome. There was no such thing as ‘fake fan’ and he hated it when people fought over that term. Secondly, people were often using the ‘freedom of speech’ excuse to hurt other people’s feelings. Most of the time, Jongin would sit the fight out, not really saying much because it was pointless to do so. But it was a tiring day and this time, the fight was strictly towards a fanboy. He was new to the forum, Jongin could tell, by the amount of followers he had (which was none) and his username wasn’t much of a help. Jjajangmyun? What kind of idiot uses noodles as their username on a band forum? Jongin finds himself thinking as he shakes his head. Nevertheless, this black bean noodle fan was also a fan of EXO which made Jongin feel overwhelmed by fights like these. Jongin was overwhelmed by fights, period.
EXO_Kai: Just a reminder that fights with each other are anything but nice. We all like the same band, we all like the same music so what reason is there for one another to fight? It doesn’t matter how long one has been a fan; it does not make you more of a fan if you have supported a band longer. It doesn’t matter which other bands you stan; it does not make you more of a fan if you support only EXO. It doesn’t matter what gender you are; it does not make you more of a fan if you’re not ‘supposed to’ be doing sports. All you need to do is support the band and love each other.
Feeling as if he had gotten a load off his chest, Jongin sighs happily as he clicks ‘post’. He’s not sure if he’s helped or made the situation worse for Jjajangmyun but Jongin wishes that with his amount of followers, some light should be shined on problems like these.
He’s satisfied with himself until a notification pops up on his laptop.
@jjajangmyun has sent you a message!
✉
“There’s the fanboy,” Taemin greets as Jongin pushes open the door to the dance studio they had booked to themselves for the evening. “Glad you remembered your classmates for once.”
”Taemin told me you’re a fan of EXO,” Henry pips up from the corner of the studio, tying his shoelace. “You must get a lot of girls, huh?”
Jongin shrugs, setting his bag down. “I’m not in the fandom for girls. I like their music.”
”Right.”
”So, champ, ready to see what we have for our assignment?” Taemin asks, springing over to the stereo as he placed a CD into the slot. “It’s a work of art. True magic.”
”We should use bunnies in our act,” Henry adds and Taemin frowns. “Or not.”
”You guys set up. I’ll be with you in a moment,” Jongin says, opening his laptop which was already open to the fan forum, like it always was. Except this time, there was a slight difference. He had a message. Again. In fact, he had plenty of open messages ever since yesterday from a specific user: Jjajangmyun.
”Aw, come on, Jongin. The one time I get you away from your fandom, you’re still with your fandom,” Taemin whines and Jongin laughs, waving him off.”
”It’ll only be a second,” Jongin promises and Taemin sighs, rolling his eyes.
”A second on your fan forum is two hours in our time, fanboy. Be quick,” Taemin says, turning back to Henry and the stereo. Jongin gladly opens his messages.
Jjajangmyun: Your words on the fandom fights couldn’t be any truer! Fans need to stick together, J.
EXO_Kai: Our fandom has a rep of being quite...scary. I say ‘our’ but I don’t really have a clue if you’re a fan of EXO or not considering your username. I believe the Black Bean Noodle fan forum is on another site.
Jjajangmyun: Haha! Funny! No wonder you’re so popular on the site. I’m pretty new but even I know you’re well known. And yes, I am a fan of EXO but I’m a fan of black bean noodles too so maybe you should forward the URL to their forum? J.
EXO_Kai: I’ll send it over once I find it myself. If there is a forum for black bean noodles, you can bet I’m getting the VIP package.
Jjajangmyun: Trust me; with all this drama in the fandom it’s probably safer to move to the black bean noodles fandom anyways. J.
Jongin lets out a laugh. Taemin and Henry look over, perplexed expressions on their faces and Jongin decides he’ll respond to Jjajangmyun later. Or perhaps Jongin will start calling him J. He always signed off with that letter, and frankly it was easier to type. Jongin shuts the laptop and slides it off his lap, placing it back in his book bag before tightening his shoelaces and standing up.
”I’m ready now,” Jongin coughs, walking towards the two.
Taemin smirks. “What’s so funny in your fandom now?”
”Nothing.” Jongin presses a few buttons on the stereo. “Let’s start now.”
”Have you finally tried out online dating due to the hopeless case of nervous Jongin who gets so nervous around girls, he can’t even talk?”
”God, Taemin, you’re so annoying.”
✉
Jjajangmyun. Also known as Kim Junmyeon. Age 23, born on May 22, 1991. 175cm, blood type: AB. Favourite movie: Pirates of the Caribbean. Jongin felt like he knew more about Junmyeon than he knew himself. As the months progressed, forum chatting had grown to texting, which eventually turned into phone calls. Junmyeon had a smooth voice: soft, and honey like. His laughs were always light and Jongin imagines him with soft features as well.
It was weird. With Junmyeon, Jongin felt like he was someone else. He was no longer the shy university student when he talked to Junmyeon. He was a cool, funny talented dancer. Well, in Junmyeon’s eyes anyways.
”Let me see you dance,” Junmyeon is saying over the phone on evening. Jongin is laying on the couch, and the TV is on but Jongin isn’t really watching. He’s staring at the ceiling instead because he finds it’s easier to concentrate on Junmyeon’s voice this way.
Jongin laughs, playing with the blanket that’s thrown over the couch. “How?”
Junmyeon goes silent. “Don’t you have any Youtube videos or something?”
”Oh. Well, I think Taemin might have posted some of our dance covers online. What about you? Can I hear you sing?” His roommate was sure to be home soon so Jongin was going to make the best of the phone call.
Junmyeon thinks for a moment, pondering on the request. “Ah, but I just came back from my vocal practice.”
”That’s okay.”
”My voice might crack.”
”It’s okay,” Jongin whispers and Junmyeon pauses for the second time. Jongin wonders if he should have urged Junmyeon at all but when the older male clears his throat, Jongin is surprised by what’s to come after.
Junmyeon sings History from EXO-K’s first album. He had even sweeter vocals than voice and Jongin has to turn off the TV to listen more carefully. Jongin swears if he closed his eyes, it’d almost be like - Junmyeon’s singing is cut off when there’s some clattering. Like someone picking up the other side of the phone.
”Hellooooooooo? Who has hyung been talking to all day and night recently?”
”Chanyeol, get off the - “
A distant voice in the background pips up. ”Oh, is it that Jongin fellow that hyung won’t stop talking about?”
”Hyunnie, old pal, I think you may be right.” The first voice returns, loud and clear. “Is this Jongin? Kim Jongin, the dancer?”
Jongin is about to reply when the line goes dead and Jongin is left listening to the dial tone.
✉
EXO_Kai: Is it always that hectic at your dorm?
The two boys had decided to return to the online chat rather than calling tonight. Junmyeon was terrified that someone would pick up the phone again.
Jjajangmyun: Frankly.
Jjajangmyun: Sorry.
EXO_Kai: Don’t be! I understand. Having five dorm members must be hard. It’s hard enough here with just one! But it must be nice to have so many people to rely on. Like brothers almost, no?
Jjajangmyun: They’re nice kids but it’d be nice if they’d listen to me every now and then.
Jongin stares at the screen and frowns. He can’t help but notice how Junmyeon wasn’t his usual peppy self.
EXO_Kai: Are you alright?
Jjajangmyun: Oh! Yes, I’m fine. Sorry, I’m just worried about some things and thinking. And tired.
EXO_Kai: Thinking about?
Jjajangmyun: Oh, it’s nothing really. Don’t worry about it. Forget I mentioned it.
Jongin’s frown deepens and he slinks down in the couch. Although Junmyeon and Jongin had grown very close and even the fans on the forum had begun to ship them together, there was always some things Junmyeon refused to mention. Jongin wanted to know more about his acting classes, why he was scared of heights and most importantly, what Junmyeon was thinking of. Sometimes, Junmyeon would tell him: he’d tell Jongin about how his feet ached, how his medicine wasn’t working or how dinner was horrible. But other times, the times where it counted, Junmyeon never said another word. Jongin never knew why Junmyeon barely got sleep, how his roommates were and why Junmyeon refused to Facetime.
Jongin thinks maybe Junmyeon is just camera shy but Junmyeon’s excuses got more and more frequent that Jongin had stopped asking. At first, Jongin didn’t think much of it because everyone had their own personal life but at this point, didn’t at least Jongin mean something to him? Did Junmyeon not trust him? There wa specific part of Junmyeon’s life where he kept locked up. Jongin was dying to get the key.
EXO_Kai: Why do you always do that?
Silence for a second. Neither of them type.
Jjajangmyun: Do what?
EXO_Kai: You know what I’m talking about. Every time I try to get closer to you, you push me away.
Jjajangmyun: Not because I want to.
EXO_Kai: Then why?
Jjajangmyun: I can’t say. I’m sorry.
Jongin sighs and signs off without even saying goodnight.
✉
”Why so glum, chum?” Taemin sighs, slinging an arm over Jongin the week after as Jongin ties his shoe. Jongin blinks and Taemin rolls his eyes. “You don’t seriously think I haven’t noticed? You’re obviously upset about something.”
Jongin shrugs. He didn’t know himself why he was so down even though the answer was pretty clear. “You don’t really care.”
”Of course I do, buddy boy. Tell me all your problems.” Taemin takes his arm off of Jongin and sits down on the bench where Jongin’s leg was earlier. Jongin stands straight and studies
Taemin who stared up eagerly. “Okay, truthfully, whatever it is is affecting your dancing. You’re growing sloppy.”
”Right.”
”But tell me anyways. You obviously need to talk to someone.” Taemin pauses. “Speaking of, where’s your noodle buddy? I haven’t seen you glued to your laptop recently like you always are nowadays.”
”He’s being dumb,” Jongin grumbles and Taemin makes an O with his mouth.
”Ahh, boy trouble. Tell Dr. Lee all about it.” He pats the spot next to him and Jongin reluctantly sits down. Henry wasn’t here yet so Jongin supposes it’s safe.
”Do you think it’s safe to be a complete open book to someone and then have them act like a locked diary?”
Taemin blinks and then clears his throat. “Bud, Jongin my friend, I know you’re a writer and all but you’re going to have to dumb down the lingo for me to understand.”
Jongin closes his eyes and leans back on his arms. “Junmyeon has secrets.”
”Everyone has secrets.”
”Yes but,” Jongin opens his eyes to look at Taemin, “Junmyeon isn’t like that.”
Taemin grimaces and shakes his head. “Hate to break it to you but you met this guy online. How do you not know he’s some sort of pedophile?”
Jongin twacks his friend’s arm who cackles in delight. “Forget it.”
”Okay, but seriously, I think he’s just scared. Of how you’re going to react to whatever his secret is, pedophile or not. What if you don’t accept him, you know? Everyone’s scared of being accepted.” Jongin’s pocket vibrates and he half-heartily takes it out. A familiar name flashes across the screen. “That’s him, isn’t it? He probably has a good reason to why he won’t tell you. Have faith in him. If he’s as good of a guy as you say he is.”
Jongin doesn’t reply. He just stares at the number flash across his screen.
”You’re going to pick up, aren’t you?”
Jongin’s fingers go numb before pressing the answer button. He stands up, his hand pressed to the receiver. “I’m going to take this outside.”
Taemin holds up his hands. “Go ahead. Can you call Henry afterwards? He’s about two hours late and he can’t call because he doesn’t know how to work his damn phone.”
Jongin slips out of the dance room, and slowly brings the phone to his face. “Hello?”
”I’m sorry.” It comes out rushed but Jongin hears it loud and clear. He asks Junmyeon to repeat himself anyways. “I’m sorry.”
”It’s okay.” Jongin’s voice comes out like a whisper. “It’s okay,” he says again, louder.
”It’s been like two days but I feel like I haven’t talked to you in forever.” Junmyeon laughs and Jongin hadn’t realized how much he missed the sound. “I’ve missed you.”
”Me too.”
Jongin’s heart is racing at such a fast speed, he’s sure his heart is going to jump out of his chest.
”You mean a lot to me, you know.” Junmyeon continues. “I’m just...there are things I have to keep under wraps right now before I can tell you a few things. These few months have been probably the best months, even if that’s exaggerating a bit. I don’t know what to say. I’m sorry,” he says again and laughs lightly, his nervousness vibrating from the phone.
Junmyeon doesn’t confess.
”I know how you can make it up to me.” Jongin takes a deep breath.
”Oh, perfect. What is it?”
”I...I have this dance performance this weekend. On Saturday. And Taemin will be there, and so will Henry and...I don’t know. It’d be nice for you to come.”
What Jongin wants to hear is an enthusiastic agreement. He wants to hear the plans being made, the commitment and excitement to build. Jongin wants to finally meet Junmyeon, someone who has crawled up behind his skin without him even noticing.
But instead, he hears silence.
A simple no, a gentle decline or even a ‘I’m busy’ would have been better than what Junmyeon had to say: “I’m sorry.”
Jongin recoils, hurt and whispers a quiet “it’s okay”, before a “I have to go” and then following up with a “goodbye”.
✉
Jongin’s excuse for going on hiatus on his forum was he was too busy with the dance performance to blog or chat. Too busy to talk, too busy to desteraptely glue back the pieces of a relationship that was falling apart. Taemin doesn’t bother asking about Junmyeon anymore. Jongin figures it’s because it’s not ruining the dance performance by much. Every once a while, Jongin misses a beat or even skips a move but if anything, Jongin’s dancing better than he’s ever danced in his entire life.
A performance to wow the people who bothered to show up.
Jongin’s second excuse is that he had some things to sort out in his life before returning to the forum. It was a phrase Jongin was familiar with considering he heard it so much.
”Jongin.”
Jongin lifts his head and blinks slowly, his eyes growing heavy. “Yeah?”
Taemin stares back at him for a moment before shaking his head. ”I said, we have to arrive two hours early tomorrow at the banquet for makeup and hair. Think you can make it on time?”
”That’s fine,” Jongin mutters and stands from the ground, dusting off his sweats and walking over to his bag.
”Are you sure you’ll be fine? You haven’t had much sleep these past days; I can see it by the bags under your eyes.” Henry furrows his eyebrows. “I don’t want you fainting mid dance.”
”I’ll be fine. See you tomorrow.” Jongin drags himself home and lets his body crash onto the bed.
✉
About five hundred people.
That’s what the banquet hall looked like on Saturday night. It was so packed Jongin was beginning to worry about it. What if he messed up? Surely, one of the five hundred people here were news reporters and they’d write about Jongin, and how he messed up and no company would ever hire Jongin then. Internet Sensation EXO_KAI Falls Flat on His Face! is what would be plastered across every newsstand the next day.
Then Jongin realizes he doesn’t even care anymore.
”Three minutes! Places everyone!”
Jongin stares at himself in the mirror. His hair was pushed back, and his makeup was done lightly so that it looked natural. The makeup hid his sleepless face, at least. He closed his eyes and rolled his head back, growing more tired within the seconds that ticked by slowly. One, two, three. Jongin felt like this night would never end.
Jongin peeks back at the crowd. Five hundred and ten maybe. At least five hundred and ten. No less than that, for sure. But Jongin begins to notice the people weren’t moving to their seats.
They were moving towards something. Or rather someone, really. Cameras are going off, there’s a lot of noise too. Jongin goes on his tippy toes, just to get a better look and sees a familiar face. One he was familiar with, yet didn’t know too well.
It’s Suho.
For a second, Jongin is sure that he’s hallucinating. There’s no way that an idol, let alone the leader of the most popular boy band in the century, would arrive to see a pity dance put together by three dance majors.
But then Suho, the leader of EXO, holds up a bag. Jongin freezes.
”Alright, alright! Dim the lights! Play the music! It’s showtime! It’s showtime, people!”
All Jongin can see between the blinding lights and hundreds of faces in front of the stage was the letters ‘Jjajangmyun Delivery’ written across the bag that was held by Suho.
✉
Jjajangmyun is Junmyeon. Junmyeon is Suho. Suho is Jjajangmyun.
Jongin paces his dressing room. Then sits down. Then stands up and paces again.
”I can get used to this!” Taemin bursts into his room, grinning from eye to eye. His smile is a million watt one. “I’m being interviewed by every single reporter out there!”
Henry follows not too far behind. “They’re asking for you too, you know. You should go out.”
Their dance received a standing ovation. The people loved it. But Jongin’s not completely sure what’s happening is real. It’s all a blur. Jongin gives them a weak smile before continuing to pace.
”You should be ecstatic! Why aren’t you ecstatic?”Henry sits down on a couch in the dressing room and Taemin immediately pulls him back up.
”Because he’s ‘sorting out his life’,” Taemin says, using the air quotes and Jongin stops to stare at him. “What, you think I don’t check on your blog every now and then?”
At that time, Suho appears at the door and without another word Taemin and Henry disappear, signalling they’d be waiting outside. Jongin’s sure, 100% sure, that his heart was going to jump out of his chest.
Junmyeon hands him a bouquet of followers, then the bag of noodles before giving Jongin a small smile. Junmyeon’s shorter than Jongin’s imagined. He’s probably 5’5, if not shorter. Jongin towers over him. Like his voice, Junmyeon’s features are light and gentle. His eyes are warm and inviting, and his lips...his lips are a soft and pink. His skin looks soft too and Jongin wants to touch just to make sure but he resists it by leaning back against his dresser.
”So, you’re...Suho.”
Junmyeon grimaces. “Yeah.”
”And you’re also...Junmyeon.”
Junmyeon puckers his lips with a loud smack. God. “Yup.”
Jongin shakes his head. “I don’t understand.”
”The members and I usually have accounts on our forums to see how the fans are. It’s a good way to find out what’s going on within our fandom.”
”So that day on the phone, that was…”
”Chanyeol and Baekhyun,” Junmyeon nods, sighing. “Look, I wanted to tell you but the risk was too high and now…”
”And now…?”
Junmyeon smiles and Jongin holds his breath. “Now, I don’t care.”
Jongin pauses and then buries his face in his hands. “God, this is so embarrassing. I’m a fan of the damn band you’re in. I’m a fan of you, oh my fucking god.”
”No, it’s oka - “
”God.”
Junmyeon laughs. “You’re as cute as you are over the phone.”
Jongin lifts his head to stare at Junmyeon whose eyes were shining and buries his face in his hands once again.
”God.”
✉
The newspapers do write about Jongin.
They write about Jongin, and Taemin and Henry and their dance. They also write about Junmyeon. They write about Junmyeon and Jongin, and Jongin and Junmyeon, and Junmyeon and Jongin. Jongin, Junmyeon, Jongin, Junmyeon.
Jongin had deactivated his forum due to several reasons and decided to just work on his dancing. Taemin was recruited by the same company as Suho, and soon after so was Henry and Jongin. He’s still a fan of EXO (he kind of has to be considering Junmyeon was the leader of the band), and he’s an even bigger fan of Junmyeon and his gentle features and warm voice and soft lips.