Comments | forgottenhall: Black Bird

forgottenhall

Black Bird - Chapter Seven

Jun 06, 2014 13:46

( Read more... )

Comments 13

withasmile87 June 6 2014, 18:09:12 UTC

So glad that Isaac called Jordan. Looking forward to Jordan explaining things to Isaac especially the way he treated him at the cafe. Glad that Jordan is trying to turn his life around.

forgottenhall June 7 2014, 15:13:51 UTC

:D I'm glad that Ike called as well. Thanks for reading and for the comment <3

kezz_14 June 7 2014, 05:26:03 UTC

I love seeing things from Jordan's perspective now! Am curious to hear he's explanation to Isaac but just so happy with the excited way he reacted to seeing Isaac and getting his call. Was hoping it wouldn't be too one sided for Isaac's sake. Great chapter!

(Not to nitpick, but there are a few instances where you mix up Jordan and Isaac's names. I know you seem a lot busier now, but I thought I'd comment because I always think you're writing is quality work)

forgottenhall June 7 2014, 15:15:29 UTC

Thanks, I scoured the chapter. I'm glad you're enjoying reading from Jordan's POV :) Thanks for the comment <3

eleflowerpot June 7 2014, 10:21:43 UTC

Fantastic chapter! Really good to find out more about hoe Jordan has been feeling and his inner turmoils.

Looking forward to where you take them next :)

forgottenhall June 7 2014, 15:15:59 UTC

Thank you, darling! I was excited to get into Jordan's head, too. Thank you for the comment <3 :)

soaddicted2jc June 8 2014, 14:30:05 UTC

great chapter! I'm anxious too to know what happened before to Jordan :)

forgottenhall June 10 2014, 15:05:39 UTC

Thank you! I'm excited to share more about Jordan as well. He's got quite a few layers to him. :D Thank you for reading and commenting. x

malfunkshon June 9 2014, 17:29:16 UTC

First of all, I'm so glad you went for the janitor storyline (I know you were considering alternatives). It's really realistic, it makes total sense that it wouldn't be easy to find something much better (what do you put on your CV when you've been working as a hooker for years ( ... )

forgottenhall June 10 2014, 15:09:08 UTC

I'm glad you like the janitor angle as much as I do! I think it's realistic as well; it wouldn't be too easy to write up a resume and CV when your work experience is similar to Jordan's. His new job isn't glamorous by any stretch of the imagination, but it can be put down in black and white at least. It's a starting point...

And things are certainly starting off interestingly. I like your take on Isaac's reaction to Jordan in the elevator. I was imagining Isaac was being more stoic and rigid because of how Jordan had treated him before, but you are absolutely right that it would be within his personality and persona to not want to publicly engage with a janitor while at work... poor Jordy the Janitor.

I love that you notice and appreicate the small and sometimes pointless details. Watering the plants just seemed Jordan like.

Can't wait to dive into Jike land.