HBD?
Title: Kisses (won’t make you preggy)
Pairing: JongYu with Not-so-ninja! Hanchul and kangteuk
Rating: PG-13 O_o
Genre: Kids! AU, Fluff, Romance, crack?
Warning: Profanities (It’s Heechul, Yo!) mentions of MPREG, um… kissing?
Summary: Little onew Thought he’s pregnant… wait, what?
A/N: kid! AU for my lovely unnie :Db happy belaaaaaaated b-day XD
“Yaaah, Hyuuungiieee…. Cyan I borryow the yelwlow clwayown :3?” Jonghyun baby-talked to his friend, Onew. Hoping if he used his aegyo, he can get the yellow crayon to color his sun.
“Neeeh… Just take it there…” Onew pointed with his chubby Finger.
Jong happily get the crayon and finished his drawings. He gave it back to his hyung and smiled cutely at him. “Gomawoyo, hyunggieee…. Hyungiee jjangieyoooooo :Dbb”He grinned and gave Onew both of his thumb.
Onew looked up from his drawings and smiled back. “Help me color this?” Onew asked.
“Sure! :D” Jong said and then both boys were absorbed at the coloring. They giggled occasionally. Then the drawing was finished and Onew smiled at his dongsaeng. “Gomawoyo… :-)”He said and smiled.
“Kekeke…Hyung,Saranghaeee….<333”Jonghyun smiled at his cute friend and moved to hug his hyung and kiss his cheek.
“Nee~~Nado saranghae~ <3333”Onew giggled and moved to kiss his friend’s cheek.
They moved together and that caused their lips to met in a wet, loud kiss (or more like a smack of the lips… whatever)
Onew’s eyes bulged out o_O, they stood frozen before finally scrambled to their little senses and stood apart awkwardly.
“OMG YOU KISSED HIM \o/” Key shouted when he seen the boys (accidentally) kissed.
Both boys blushed hard at that >///<. Onew knew what kisses are, alright. He’s a big boy after all. His appa and umma did it ALL.THE.TIME. His appa already told him so Onew knew he can only kiss people he like, and he like jonghyun… he’s a good dongsaeng so he didn’t mind….
“I didn’t mind… I like Jonghyunnie :’D” Onew said cutely and smiled to his dongsaeng
“B-Butt….You are going to get preggyyyyyyyyyy o_e”Key schreeched
“What o_O?”Jonghyun blinked innocently.
Onew stared at Key. “Preggyyy??? o_o”he asked and tilted his head to the left, looked like a perfect picture of innocence (asjksdsjskhskhs)
“YOU LET DINO-HEAD KISSED YOU! YOU’RE GONNA GET PREGGGYYYYYY >_>” Key shouted on top of his lungs.
“B-but why?”Onew asked.
He knew pregnant people, okay… and he knew how scary they were when they’re angry… his umma had it bad when he conceived his sister, Sulli. But he didn’t understand anything that Key just said.
“Because you kissed, you idiots…. That’s how we got babies… they didn’t appear out of nowhere -_-;;” Key said and rolled his eyes.
“Babies appear from umma’s tummy, not from kissing…”Onew said and pouted.
Key face palmed.
“You fool; it didn’t get into mummy’s tummy just like that! It appeared there because of the kissing!”
“Oh…Um… so… who would get baby in the tummy? O_Oa” Jonghyun asked and scratched his un-itchy head.
“I think onew did… HE LET YOU KISSED HIM \O/ I cant believe this kajsgh”Key said and pointed to Onew.
“M-mwo? M-me? I got b-baby in my tummy O_O” Onew asked; just to be sure. He looked innocently at his cute bulging tummy and rubbed it for good measure (he’s five for gods’ sake).
“YAH, you didn’t believe me .\__/. ?” Key glared at onew. Onew blinked back to Key innocently (a;ldjsk)
“B-but…I’m too young to have a baby…. ;A;” Onew sniffed. “A-and the baby won’t have d-daddy because I’m n-not m-married yet TAT” he said and cried.
Jonghyun hugged his cute hyung.
“Don’t worry, hyung! I’ll be responsible and marry you! Men should be responsible!” He said. After onew heard that, he stopped crying. “M-marry O_O ?” Onew asked. Too shocked to said anything else. Jonghyun nodded ecstatically.
He searched something in his pocket. Finally he found his favorite orange lollipop. He kneeled on one knee and asked his hyung like all the man he saw on his umma’s drama.
“Onew Hyung, Neol neoooommuuuu saranghae…. Narang gyorounhaejulle???” Jonghyun asked. Onew just stared at him wide eyed O_O. Then jonghyun remembered his umma always said every time he asked for something, he should say “Please” nicely (and cutely). So he coughed a bit and asked again “Hyungie, Jonghyunnie loves you veeeerrrryyyyyy much….. Will hyungie marry jonghyunnie, please? *_*” he asked onew and added his best-est puppy eyes for good measure.
Onew blushed so hard.”U-ummm…>/////<”
“Please? Jinki-ya? I’ll love you for ever and ever and we’ll live happily ever after with our pretty and handsome babies… so, marry me? pretty please??? >/\<”
“Y-yes….”Onew stammered after what seemed like eternity for Jonghyun (kids are impatient…). Jonghyun stood up and gave Onew his lollipop. He grinned to his hyung :’D. he’s glad Onew accepted him kind of quickly because his knees begun to hurt from kneeling awkwardly.
“Whooo~ we’ll have a wedding! Go take him to the big tree… I’ll spread the news and prepare the gown :Db”Key clapped and ran to search a gown (he stopped to whisper here and then, of course)
Jonghyun grabbed onew’s hand and they both walked hand in hand to the big tree in the middle of the playground. Key come back later with a bunch of kids trailing behind him. he managed to snatch a veil. But he couldn’t find any gown so he snatched a white curtain and ribbons.
“C’mere bride, let’s make u all pretty! xD You, wear this around your neck and wait :l” Key said and threw a red ribbons. Jonghyun could only stare confusedly at the ribbon. “Aha! I’ll just tie it like I tie my shoes ^o^9” he exclaimed and hurriedly tied it around his neck.
Meanwhile key dragged onew to a tree and start to pretty him up. He snatched all make-up he could find and applied it all to onew. For a four years old, he’s surprisingly good at that (don’t ask why, he just does). Onew’s milky white skin looks flawless and his lips looks reddish and luslicious because of the lipgloss key applied. Then he draped the curtains around onew’s body and somehow made it looks like it’s a decent gown (again, don’t ask how, it just does. Key is awesome like that. You shouldn’t question his awesomeness, okay? He’s THE ALMIGHTY KEY). Lastly he put the accessories and the veil.
“Omo, hyungie looks like a real bride :’D” Key said and wiped the *fake* tears.
Onew blushed “Gomawoyo -////-” He said to key.
Key led him back to Jonghyun (somehow he could use the ribbons). Kyuhyun, Ryeowook, Yesung, Luna, IU, Seohyun, and Changmin sang “Here comes the bride”. Eunhyuk, Donghae and Yunho danced to the song while Duck-Butt Junsu, Wide-Forehead Yoochun and Big-Face Jaejoong threw confetti and petals around them from the top of big tree. Jonghyun stared with jaw on the grounds. His hyung looked sooooo pretty! Prettier than anyone he’s ever seen!! He’s sooooo lucky to have his hyung as his huswife!
Onew smiled shyly at jonghyun’s awestuck stare.
“Aheem… I know you both are in love, blah blah blah” Key said as he pretended to be a priest.
Jonghyun blinked in confusion. Since when he stood there? Is he a ninja?? Jonghyun thought but Onew’s shy smile distracted him from everything. adsjhdGD he’s so pretty and cute and and and sooooooo perfect!!!! Jonghyun thought. He just couldn’t stop staring at onew! His skin sooooo white and his cheeks like apples and and his lips was red and shiny like strawberries he loved so much.
“So, Kim Jonghyun, do you take Lee jinki as your husband?” Key asked solemnly
“Yes! And I promise to love him forever and ever and I’ll never leave him no matter what”Jonghyun said and gripped Onew’s hand. Onew blushed at this and shyly ducked his head.
“Do you, Lee Jinki, take Kim joghyun as your husband?’
“Y-yes… and I’ll love him forever and ever and ever and I’ll never leave him no matter what…” He said and squeezed Jonghyun’s hand a bit. Jonghyun grinned at him :D.
“Whooo, this is the exciting part! Now you may kiss the bride~~ :D ”Key said and clapped excitedly.
Both boys blushed hard and then jonghyun took a step and pecked onew’s lips. All the audience cheered for them and they both grinned happily :DDD.
“Now I pronounced you husband and huswife…!!!! XDDD” Key said and clapped again.
Everyone congratulated him when suddenly a shout can be heard. “Okay kids! Playtime’s over, time to go home!” BoA said and the kids scrambled to their feet. They ran to their respective parents.
Jonghyun looked at onew.
“Can I walk you home? -////-.” He asked shyly
Onew smiled and nodded. And then they walked home together; Hand in hand.
Later that night in Onew’s house…
It was dinner time and His appa, Hankyung, His Umma, Heechul and his baby sister Sulli sat together on the dining room. His appa was wearing a pink frilly apron that his umma insisted him to wear while his umma sipped at his coffee moodily. His umma is a successful novelist and his appa is a dance instructor. They had their own studio downstairs although Onew was more into singing than dancing (he always tripped, to his appa’s despair)
“Tell us about you day, dear” Hankyung said as he tried to feed sulli.
“I got married today! :D” He said and grinned proudly.
Heechul spluttered his coffee everywhere.
“M-mworago?” Heechul asked, ready to cut someone.
“I got married today!” He beamed.
“With who?” His Umma asked furiously. It’s his lovely-precious-adorable five-year-old baby they’re talking about. He wouldn’t let onew marry someone until he’s 80 or something.
“My best friend Jonghyun! he lived across the street, remember?” Onew said happily. Oblivious of Jonghyun’s dangered life.
“And why did you “marry” him?” His umma asked and narrowed his eyes.
“Because, he got me pregnant!”
“He- WHAT?!?!?!” Heechul and Hankyung said simultaneously.
***
Jungsu aka Leeteuk was having a peaceful dinner with his Husband, Youngwoon aka Kangin and his precious baby Jonghyun when suddenly his front door being pounded by someone.
“YAH PARK JUNGSU! OPEN THE DOOR I NEED TO KILL YOUR FUCKING CHILD D:< ” Heechul screamed on top of his lungs.
Leeteuk blinked while Kangin shrugged. Finally Leeteuk get the door and faced a very furious Heechul being held thightly by Hankyung (whom his other hand held Sulli, leeteuk always wondered how he get so good at multi-tasking but that was beside the point). Onew peeked from HanKyung’s leg shyly.
“Jagiiii~ Jonghyun said and called Onew. Onew blushed from hearing such endearments while Heechul looked positively murderous.
“What’s up, hyung?” Kangin asked.
“What’s up? WHAT’S UP??????? Well let me tell you this, YOUR SON GET MY SON PREGNANT AND MARRIED HIM WHAT THE FUCK PARK JUNGSUUUUUUUUU D:
“It’s Kim Jungsu, and you should call me hyung…”Leeteuk said.
“I DON’T CARE JUST GIMME YOUR SON AND NO ONE GETS HURT D:<”
“Wait, what actually happened 0_0a?” Kangin asked.
Hankyung managed to shut Heechul’s mouth before any profanities thrown out anymore and Leeteuk stared at them amusedly.
“Why don’t y’all get in first and tell me what actually happened?” Leeteuk said.
Hankyung nodded franctically and somehow managed to get Heechul and Sulli in. While Onew entered the room together with Jonghyun; hand in hand. Jonghyun was being stared murderously by Heechul D8< seriously, if stare could kill, then Jonghyun was already dead so many times over and over again. Yet jonghyun only beamed at him :D. And Heechul felt like strangling him. DDD8<
“So… what happened? Leeteuk asked to his child.
“Um… I got Onew pregnant… and onew cried because the child wouldn’t have father. I got him so I should take responsibility like every big boy should do… so we got married! Yaaay~~ :D” He said and beamed.
“YOUR IDIOT OF A SON GOT MY PRECIOUS BABY PREGNANT! AND AND AND HE DARED, HE DARED TO MARRY MY ADORABLE LOVELY CUTE HANDSOME BABY!!!!!” Heechul shouted on top of his lungs
Leeteuk stared at his son curiously. He learnt to tune out Heechul when he’s on rampage.
“How did you get him pregnant?”
“Ummm…. It was an accident, really…>////<”He said and bowed his head in embarasement.
“Yes, tell umma more…”
“I-I want to kiss Hyung’s cheek but hyung moved so… we… um…we accidentally kissed….-////-”Jonghyun said and blushed.
“And?”
“Um… Key said he’ll get pregnant because I kissed him. so I marry him…”
“Sooo, you just kissed each other?”
“Uh-huh”
“And you married him because you thought he’s pregnant because of your kiss?”
“Uh-huh”
Leeteuk stifled a laugh. But he didn’t successful so in the end he just laugh freely. His special laugh rang throughout the house. Kangin roared in laughter while Hankyung stared amusedly at the boys in front of him. Heechul still look positively murderous. Well, it’s true that his baby didn’t get pregnant BUT THAT FILTHY LITTLE THING KISSED MY PRECIOUS GORGEUS SWEET WONDERFUL AMAZING BABY AND BY MY LAW I SHOULD ALREADY NINJA ASSASIN HIM! Heechul thought in distate.
“U-umma? A-appa? What’s wrong D:” Jonghyun asked. he’s afraid that his umma and appa and generally everyone behaved soooo weird. What’s so funny in his situation? It’s a seeeerriiiooouus situation,okay! Not something to laugh for…. He thought and pouted.
“Aawww aegiya… mianhae…. Umma didn’t mean to laugh but this just soooo cute!” Leeteuk said and wiped his tears.
“Eh?” Onew asked and tilted his head in confusion cutely. (Alkjdslsakdj)
“Listen, aegideul… you wont get pregnant just because of kissing…” Hankyung finally took over.
“E-EEEHHH?? O_O” Jonghyun and Onew shouted together.
“Geurae…It took a lot more than kissing to get someone pregnant” Kangin added.
“E-EHHH? JINJJA?”
“Ne, Aegiya… so don’t worry…”Leeteuk said and smiled. His left dimple showing.
“Then, I didn’t have baby in my tummy?” Onew asked his umma.
“Thank Shisus, NO” Heechul muttered.
“Oh…”Onew said and he looked a tad bit disappointed.
“It’s okay Jagi… we can always make them later when we’re old enough” Jonghyun said and hugged his Huswife.
“YAH LET GO OF MY BABY YOU PERVERT LITTLE AJDSHGSDDJAH M-MMMMPPPHHHH” Heechul shouted as Hankyung tried his best to restrain Heechul.
“So, what should we do to make babies?” Onew asked his Appa (since his umma was seated on his appa’s lap; Muttering plans to murder Kim fucking Jonghyun to his appa’s neck while his Uncle Leeteuk took care of baby Sulli)
“Ummm… come back and ask me a few years later when you’re old enough.” Hankyung said and smiled softly to his baby.
“B-but I want to know it nooowwww ;A;” Onew whined.
Leeteuk finally took the matter to his own hands. he looked at Kangin and they communicated through the eyes in a way that a steady couple could do. Finally Kangin nodded and faced the boys
“Not now my boys, now is time for ICE CREAAAMM… who wants ICE CREAM?” Kangin asked excitedly.
“OOOHHHHH! ICE CREAM! I WANT ONEEEE!” Jonghyun Screamed.
“I WANT A CHOCOLATE ONE!” Onew Sreamed and the three ran to the kitchen. Hankyung wiped his nonexistent sweat and began to soothe the overly worried Heechul. Leeteuk laughed and shook his head.
“Kids…”
Heechul frowned.
“Your son better keep his penis inside his boxer when he’s near my precious baby or I swear I’ll cut the damn thing off entirely”Heechul muttered.
“Awww, just let them be…. Aren’t they cute together?” Leeteuk cooed.
“NO. NEVAAAAAARRR!!! NOT MY ONEEEWWW” Heechul shrieked.
Leeteuk only rolled his eyes. He finally decided to go to the kitchen with baby Suli while Hankyung comforted Heechul.
“C’mon Chul-ah… let’s grab some ice cream too. Maybe it’ll help to cool your hot head down”Hankyung said and Heechul nodded.
However when they entered kitchen, the sight made Heechul’s blood boiled more.
“YAH KIM JONGHYUN! STAY THE FUCKING WAY OUT OF MY PRECIOUS BABY YOU MOROOOONNNN” Heechul screamed when he saw Jonghyun and Onew spooned each other. Fortunately, Hankyung was there to restrain Heechul from killing Jonghyun. He finally took Heechul out and kissed him so hard that Heechul become disoriented and filled with want.
“Mmmhhh… let’s just continue this at home” Heechul whispered hotly.
“And Jonghyun?” Hankyung asked amusedly.
“I’ll deal with him later. I.want.you.NOW” Heechul said and dragged Hankyung to their home. Leeteuk heard the door closed with a slam and sighed.
“Onew, your parents said that you and Sulli should sleepover here”He said and rolled his eyes.
“Mmmkay” Onew said between a mouthful of chocolate ice cream. Leeteuk giggled when he saw Kangin, Jonghyun and Onew’s face smeared with Ice Cream.
“Should we join them too?” Leeteuk asked baby Sulli.
Baby Sulli stared at him and Leeteuk smiled.
“I guess so. Lets put you into bed then put your brothers, right, sweetheart?”
Leeteuk put baby sulli on the old cot and fetch the boys to sleep. They changed clothes, brush their teeth and finally tucked away in bed.
“Jalja aegideul~” Leeteuk said and kissed both of their forehead. He then turn the lamp off and closed the door.
Jonghyun faced onew and squints. Only the light of the moon illuminated them now.
”Jagiii….”Jonghyun called.
“Mmm?” Onew turned and faced Jonghyun.
“We know now that you’re not pregnant…” Jonghyun trailed off.
“Mmmhmmmm” Onew said sleepily.
“Are you…. Are you still my huswife?” He asked hesitantly
Onew’s little innocent eyes snapped open fully.
“I guess so? Why? You don’t want me to be your huswife anymore?”Onew asked and pouted.
“N-NO!” Jonghyun said in panic.
“Then I’m still your huswife… now let’s sleep, I’m sleepy” Onew said and closed his eyes.
Jonghyun grinned so wide he’s afraid his face would split into two. He finally hugged his huswife and Onew cuddled to him.
“Jagii… saranghae…”Jonghyun said.
“Mmmm nado saranghae…”Onew mumbled
FIN
It’s crappy, I know, I’m so sorry ;_;