Kink, by a virgin: and essay of sorts.

[fools_game]

I sometimes wonder if the twin oddlinesses of remaining a virgin at the ripe old age of rapidly-approaching-twenty-seven and reading an awful lot of progressively more kinky fiction and other non-fictional writings in the past… oh, fifteen years, jesus, has it been that long - has left me with kind of weird approach to sex.

Comments

[calijirl5150]

It will work out for you BB I just know it. Your to awesome, kind & just wonderful person. The right one will come & knock you off your feet.

[fools_game]

Aw, that's sweet! I'm not in any hurry though. I just like to talk about it.

[theviolonist]

I have a question, actually, tell me if I'm out of line but, how do you not mind? It literally floors me every time (not that there's anything wrong with it) don't actually want to have sex. I mean, I'm not particularly in a hurry either, but my body needs it, or at least I feel like it does?
Isn't there a king of obligatory frustration after a certain period of time without sexual intercourse?

[ext_1017619]

This. I agree with everything.
This is something I was talking about just the other day, because people don't talk about sex and I don't know how I'd even bring up talking about my very serious boundaries when/if I ever manage to get in a relationship. Especially with the 'third date' conundrum you talked about; because how do you go from "yeah I really like you and think we should see each other sometime" to "hey girl, you're cool and I'd totally be up for some romantic intimacy but here's my list of things I can't/don't want to do yet".
Wayyyyy too difficult and intimidating. I'll just go back to repressing all that and watching porn I guess.

Also, on a side note, I had to Google PIV because it was not an acronym I recognised

[fools_game]

Boundaries fuck yeah

You are like Captain Boundaries and I am your sidekick Occasionally Inappropriate Girl

I think it is very cool that you are thinking about it. Lists are excellent. I was about to type some sort of advice here, but it sounded pretty fucking condescending considering I am wearing my Straight Cis Girl hat, so I won't. But feel free to hit me up for a listening ear if you ever need to thrash out boundaries or feeeeelings. Or snuggles.

[ext_1017619]

Well as came out in the America trip last year, while I pretend to hate physical contact, I fucking need me some snuggles from time to time.

I'm all up for advice, whether it be accidentally condescending or not, because the only other person I have to talk to is my mother and her advice consists of basically buying a wife or marrying a friend.

Also, I am totally making you a t-shirt that says Occasionally Inappropriate Girl

[fools_game]

And I guess your boundaries will keep changing as well, as other things do. My advice was pretty much just "Be patient, you'll find your comfort zone and an awesome person to share it with when it's meant to happen", which, dunno how helpful. Probably more helpful than "buy a wife" wtf.

[silentdescant]

You are me!!! I also have all of these thoughts, kinda wondering what will even HAPPEN with another person involved, because I have all these IDEAS and things (kinks!) that I like to read/watch/think about, but there's also just the "normAl" vanilla stuff too. Ahh well, I guess I will cross that bridge when I come to it. :P <33333

[fools_game]

And it is all very exciting and mysterious and one day I will get to do that, excellent. Like, missionary position! So many people like it, so I bet it feels awesome, and it looks totally intimate and everything, I can't WAIT.

And meantime the list keeps growing.

[fools_game]

I don't know if it's fandom giving me a skewed perspective on things or, like, everybody feels this way and nobody talks about it. Or everybody talks about it and I never noticed. I can't tell!

[fools_game]

No, this is awesome! I love hearing about other people's experiences, and I think it's super important to actually have discussions about sex, especially in our culture which has such a fucked up view of everything sex.