Fic: The Food of Love
This story is really by way of an end of exam/summer sailing gift for Kittycallum, but has turned out rather more serious than perhaps I thought it might at first.
Still it is a thank you for the great videos and because she might get to play her violin on board this summer.
It is another meld of real life and TV canon.Joseph Emidy( c1775-1835) was born in West Africa,taken to Brazil as a slave, and sometime later came to be playing the violin in Lisbon Opera House. Here he was heard by Edward Pellew and other officers on the Indefatigable and,not in one of Pellew's finer moments, a party from the Indy 'pressganged' him and he became the ship's fiddler for a few years. He left the navy in 1799 and lived and worked in Cornwall,admired as a virtuoso player and well known composer and later the leader of a symphony orchestra in Truro. He married a Cornish woman and settled with his family permanently in Cornwall. He was rated Able Seaman for pay purposes and this story takes off from history into TV canon by its premise that he is assigned to Archie's division.His name is spelled here as it is in the Indy's muster books - Emede.
TITLE: The Food of love
WORDS:3,500
RATING: GEN
DISCLAIMER: I own neither the historical figures or the fictional ones, and make no profit other than enjoyment from them.
SUMMARY: Archie, now an acting lieutenant, has a conversation with Captain Pellew about one of his division.About Music, gifts and justice.Beware somewhat several - tissue (Aka corny perhaps)ending which sneaked up on me.
The Food of Love
Indefatigable, just outside a remote bay on the coast of Spain, in the wardroom
The Indefatigable lay at anchor in the wide bay, and two of her shoreboats had gone ashore - the one simply to replenish water and the other on a rather understated reconnaissance mission headed by Lieutenant Hornblower.
Acting Lieutenant Kennedy had something on his mind and had gone to consult Mr Bracegirdle about it.They had had a warm conversation and Archie, once he had realised that naturally John Bracegirdle thought at first he was worried about Horatio's safety, smiled and said:
" I should think it a compliment to my friendship that everyone assumes if I am worried then it is about Horatio. I admit I would rather have gone with him, but I understand the exercise depends on small numbers and - he broke off but I would rather be where he is when danger threatens. It might be that I could do nothing but.."
" I know, you would at least try and if the worst came, you would be there in death to comfort your friend."Archie nodded, suddenly solemn- eyed.Bracey's kind gaze met his, the honesty in the older and wiser blue eyes mirrored in the earnest expression of the younger ones."I feel the same way.Which is why if Ned- if the captain insists on doing the - er more adventurous things he still will do I prefer it to be under my watchful eye.
But," the gentle interrogation continued. " It evidently wasn't about Horatio that you were concerned."
" No, its something other than Horatio I came to talk about.It about Joseph Emede, who was assigned to my division"
After hearing him out in the patient silence that was his way, Bracey had said " you have every right and even perhaps a duty to let the captain consider this.But, Mr Kennedy,you are a lieutenant now and it is perfectly possible, even desirable that you see the captain yourself and explain the issue. He is one of your division and,as an officer, you have the right and responsibility to bring these concerns to the captain.
He did not miss the indrawn breath, or the tightening of anxiety in the lovely face at his suggestion, for he added,smiling the smile that could disarm almost as much as Archie's own:
"His bark is fierce, but he has - a kindness in measure that few understand, Mr Kennedy.And he usually can hear, when he needs to, about righting a wrong.And he has promoted you and has learned, as we all have, to respect your great strength in emerging from Ferrol. Speak to him on deck this morning and I am sure he will listen to you."
Archie saluted as the captain came on to the main deck and requested,
"Sir,may I have a few moments to speak with you - in private- today?"
Pellew's intense scrutiny was, as he expected, then turned on the maker of this unusual request. " Mr Kennedy, you may certainly. Hmn, what watch have you this evening, the second dog watch I think?"
"Yes, sir."
"Then come in the hour preceding- does that suit?"
"Yes,sir." "Then carry on,Mr Kennedy."
------------------
The captain's quarters, Indefatigable
2. Entering the captain's quarters at just after the bell had struck, Archie came to attention inside the door."Acting -Lieutenant Kennedy,sir,reporting as we arranged."
The captain laid down the book he was reading and gestured to a chair " Pray sit,Mr Kennedy.. you will have long nough to stand on watch."
Archie, recognising the continued gruff but determined care of his person and health which had been thus obliquely offered him since Ferrol, complied.
"Thank you sir,"Archie offered his luminous smile, though there was trepidation in it as Pellew was not slow to recognise.This young man continued to reinforce the witness of his prison stay,that he had a great capacity to overcome his fears in defence of others.His was a depth of character that the lightly jesting boy he appeared at first to be tended to mask, but Pellew had much more of a picture now.He regarded Archie steadily.
A silence,short but not threatening continued a short while and then Pellew spoke, in a voice very measured and gentle. Archie, to whom this side of his captain was as yet unknown, was briefly taken aback. "You are -anxious- for Mr Hornblower's safety ?"
Archie's smile widened - even here his natural belonging with Horatio was taken quietly for granted.He thought, - we can at least begin there.It was in one way annoying and in another endearing that this was the case, and, Archie realised with some gratitude, from the captain was both protective and, to some extent,a mutually understood preoccupation.
"I do find myself a little anxious,sir,"said Archie " I understand the need for the expedition and for so few to undertake it, but"... he paused, aware of the inevitable dark gaze searching him thoroughly and unwilling to appear as if merely critical.
" Your anxiety is well-founded, Mr Kennedy, for he is your friend and your loyalty and mutual companionship are exemplary. I remember once..."
...Archie looked up, aware that the hawk's stare was gone from scrutinsing him and was instead unfocused, Pellew's thoughts clearly far away in distance and time. Archie understood that he was seeing now what only Bracey-and perhaps Horatio- ever saw; a very vulnerable, tired and solitary man.
"Yes, sir?" he made his question as encouraging as he could, but could see that the captain was already gathering the components of his reserve again.Partly successful, he turned back to the young acting-lieutenant.
"It is of no matter, Mr Kennedy, it is all long, long ago. But as I say your loyalty and care for each other is of great importance.But your friend is ever resourceful, as you know, and I am sure we shall, to a man, soon be cheering his latest exploit, would not not agree,hmn?"
Archie nodded, his gaze suddenly a little wistful, then, recollecting himself, replied " Yes, sir!"
Pellew rose to his feet and went and picked up a decanter and glasses. Archie, surprised and not a little relieved, suddenly understood with his instinctive compassion, how it must be to have your every offer even of a little conversation over a drink have to be made formally and always with constraint.They all had that chance when abaord ship,for ordinary sharing over food and drink, for being in each other's company,all except the captain, for whom every such invitation had always to be formally issued.
He could almost feel the captain's stiffening spine and furrowed forehead as if he understood them. "Would you care for a glass of wine to drink the health of our expeditionary party and Lieutenant Hornblower, Mr Kennedy - it still lacks a three quarter hour to your watch.?"
This time the smile that greeted him was as it was most normally for everyone- as bright as the overhead sun. Except, thought Pellew, when it is for Horatio, when it has the brightness of countless suns. He raised his glass, having handed Archie his:
" Here's to the safe return of all the expeditionary party, and Mr Hornblower, to his ship and to his friend."
"and to his captain" added Archie, somewhat daring.
At this of course, the penetrating gaze found him again ,but there was no anger in it. " Do you think he would not think us both over anxious, could he but hear us,Mr Kennedy? And be half- shy,half- glad of our welcoming when he comes aboard again?
[I think he would do what he always does - first seek for my face and the love in my eyes. Look to me for comfort and for the promise of his body on mine later. He would see both but he would not see the agony while he had been gone , because I will not show him. But just as soon he would raise his eyes heavenward -at least to the quarterdeck. And again he searches for approval and love and he sees it in your face but he does not see the anxiety and the fear and the pain because you can never show them. He has two instinctively -sought after havens- my body and my love and your love and your thoughts and approval. He and I are so different and you and he so alike. Yet he needs our love in its different measure and how very dearly he has both,if he would but look properly]
He did not of course say any of this, but instead,
" Oh,indeed sir,I think he would say to me " O Ar-chie" and to you " Sir?" quite uncomprehending of it all!
"Excellent mimicry, Mr Kennedy, I won't even attempt to ask you which other officers that talent extends to - lest I should have to hear a confession!"[ he was,just like his dark haired friend, Pellew thought idly, even more beautiful when he was a little embarrassed.]
There it was! thought Archie, the smile that just lifted the corners of the captain's mouth- how he would like to be able to engender the one he knew could lift the stern face into the real inner warmth of the man. But for now, it would do.
" There was another matter on which I wanted to consult you, sir, about a member of my division."
" Yes,mr Kennedy?"
" Sit, it concerns Joseph Emede, the violin player whom we ..pressed in Lisbon."
Pellew shifted a little in his chair, his face more guarded again.He was aware from Kennedy's slighht pause that he was among those who were not wholly sure about their actions with regard to Joseph. Pellew's conscience had allowed him a few wakeful nights retrospectively, though he would maintain it had been a right decision for the good of crew morale he knew, in his inner self, that it had been a rather questionable action. Is he not well, or has been guilty of some ill- conduct?"
" Neither sir, but I do think it may concern his health ultimately if not dealt with ?"
" How so, Mr Kennedy?"
" Well, sir , his duty aboard is to play for the men for their songs and dancing and he does that very well indeed sir- but he is used to far more. A higher music, or at least a different one.He has a great gift, sir and a great heart. But belowdeck he has barely room to stretch his bowing arm free and - sometimes sir,I think the darkness there reminds him of his slavery days. - Confinement can be most shattering sir, as you know, and the memory remains. He can go on helping our mens' morale, but better if we care for his own."
Archie waited, sipping again nervously from his glass.To his intense relief there still was no anger in the captain's voice:
"What is necessary for this well-being then,in your opinion. Mr Kennedy?
" Some copies of the music he loves- Haydn, Cimarosa and so on and the official right to practise them - and perhaps somewhere that he can rehearse in the light and with a little freedom,?"
"Very well,I will consider it. report here at the end of your morning watch tomorrow with Emede and I will see what can be done."
" Thank you,sir and thank you for the wine. May I go now sir?"
You may, Mr Kennedy" -wait, he said as Archie turned to put his glass on to the table. " he really is exceptional as a musician in your opinion?"
"He has a great gift sir, like yours for tactics and courage, or Horatio's for Mathematics and quick thinking...
" or yours for compassion and insight,Mr Kennedy. All right, you may go."
Archie, feeling a foot taller than his real height, went out to rehearse to himself through his watch the captain's praise, finding for once that he never even thought about how cold it was.
Captain's quarters, the next day.
Archie, reporting with Able Seaman Emede in tow, stood again in the wide and sunlit cabin. Pellew was speaking to Emede.
" Mr Kennedy has represented to me your need to have more music of the style to which you are used to play.There will be at Gibraltar an agent for a London bookseller. if you furnish Mr Kenendy with a list of items, they will be bought as part of the ship's supplies"
The intelligent face lit up ,glanced at Archie gratefully, then Emede recollected himself and faced his commander.
"Yes, sir, thank you sir."
"Furthermore," added Pellew, "Mr Kennedy has also represented to me the desirability of somewhere light and with er, elbow- room, for you to rehearse. There are few such places on board a frigate-and this,I think, is the best of them - he swept a hand around his elegant cabin. "In future, when I am certain that I wish to be on deck or am elsewhere, and you are not on watch and not required elsewhere,I will send word to Mr Kennedy by my steward and he will escort you here and you may rehearse for a while.You may only come at such a summons and never unaccompanied, but it will at least give you some space."
This time both lieutenant and seaman looked at him in open mouthed pleasure- which he found to his surprise wsa both gratifying and unnerving.Unsurprisingly then, the next words came out with the abruptness that was his way of covering emotion. " and you may then perhaps play for us at an officer's dinner from time to time by way of assessing that the ship's company derives benefit from your privileges.
That is all, you are dismissed- not you, Mr Kennedy, will you stay a moment?"
As the door shut behind Emede, Archie grasped his hat under his arm tighter, wondering what came next.
" I wish you to be aware of what I am asking you and why.I have asked you to accompany the man because it is an unusual privilege he has been granted and for a particular reason, his need to rehearse and the practicalities thereof.I want no temptation to anything even to be thought of as privilege put in his way - for his own sake -I do nor want any jealous crew mate to accuse him of anything in order to ferment what they may perceive as trouble for Emede. Your presence will guarantee both his own behaviour and the security of the issue. And besides, I have a feeling you will enjoy the music, am I correct?"
" Indeed, yes,sir I would - and -
"well out with it, man"
" Thank you for your care and attentiveness, sir."
" Hmn - I " but Pellew did not finish as there was a knock at the door," Come !" It was Midshipman Cleveland, a little flushed with hurrying.
" Sir, Mr Bracegirdle's compliments and he thought you would want to know- the reconaissance party is returning and is in sight sir. All members of the party are present,sir. "
" Thank you, sir and inform Mr Bracegirdle that I shall be on deck in a moment." As Cleveland sped off, Pellew turned to Archie and, for a moment said nothing, though Archie rightly interpreted the shared intention of the gaze- that overwhelming relief was just invading both of them he knew well.
Out on deck, Archie went to greet the returning party,Horatio, looking tired but happy, the last to come aboard. He turned straight to Archie and the deep brown eyes locked with his. Archie looked back with everyhing he could summon of love and happiness- and- he hoped- quite some unadulterated lust as well.Horatio's smile broadened - and then, just as Archie knew would happen, he turned from him and raised hopeful eyes to the quarterdeck, almost reverently, as he saluted his captain. With a wry grin Archie followed his gaze - only to see Pellew return the salute as solemnly but then, as Horatio was momentarily distracted by a greeting from another officer, Archie saw his captain distinctly turn in his, Archie's, own direction and offer acknowledgment with an inclined head and just a suggestion of a salute.
Now that, thought Archie, is clever,to acknowledge to me even the part of the conversation I didn't share with him.
A few weeks later, Joseph was practising in the cabin as had been arranged.Archie sat at the table, his unread book discarded in front of him, listening intently to a new piece that the violinist had been hard at work on. It was a yearning, flowing melody and burst at the end into a bright and furious cadenza. They were both so absorbed that they did not hear the door open and Pellew enter-.Immediately holding up a hand to prevent Archie springing to attention, and raising a finger to his lips, the captain sat down at the end of the table and Emede, who had his back to all this , continued to play.
At the end he finished and turned to Archie - only to look instantly anxious when he saw he had two listeners. " At your ease,Emede,I did not want to interrupt you. That is a spirited piece- what is it?"
Emede was pleased to be asked,that was evident in the enthusiastic answer."It is my own composition, sir,-its intended as a gift for Mr Kennedy, its a - a response to some Shakespeare themes. I intend to call it 'The Food of love',sir,from"
" Twelfth Night, yes,I see.Very good. You may both go, now,I have a great many things to do.
After they had left, he did not, as he had intended,begin his work immediately but sat, absorbed in his own thoughts, for quite some while.
6. West Cliff House Teignmouth, 1818
The Pellew household was again alive with myriad voices, primary among them childen's high pitched excited tones exclaining at the adventures always to be had at grandpapa and grandmama's house. Eliza, Pownall's wife, and her brood were arriving and the childen were skittering though the house to find their grandparents. Young Edward, at seven already quite a solemn child, was not so today.He rushed through to the veranda where he found his grandfather sitting in the shade and rather predictably reading the "The Naval Gazette".
" Grandpapa? He spread out his arms and Pellew picked up his namesake and swung him up high much to young Ned's delight. The game was to call out " mizzenmast"" mainmast" and "foretop" and so on and one would be swung into the appropriate position high above an imaginary deck.Ned giggled and aimed, as he always did, to go fast enough to catch his grandfather out with a move to the wrong mast, but he had never yet succeeded in doing so.His reward was always to end with Main:top gallant! and be swept down from thence all the way to the deck in one wriggling mass of delight.Though it was a moot point which of them enjoyed it the most.
"You're getting too big for grandpapa to manage that for much longer" his mother said....having followed him out to the veranda. Pellew smiled and forebore to tell this sailor's wife that one slight little boy still failed by a long way to compete with a armful and more of wet sail, or any of the hundred other tasks that produced in any man of the King's navy very strong arms indeed.
Ned looked from his mother to his grandfather and then shifted from foot to foot..
"Mama, please, I'd like to speak to grandpapa by myself for a minute"
Eliza sighed , looked at her father- in -law and took herself off.
"Grandpapa, can I ask you something really really important?
" Of course Ned, is it a secret?"
"No, only mama said not to bother you with it till after tea at least but, its important.
"Hmn fire away then, Ned"
"Grandpapa you know how much I like music and singing - well I want to learn the violin. I really do! And mama said she would let me, but she wrote to papa and he said I should better learn sea craft and knots and things... but I could do both and I really, really want to learn.
Will you write to papa and will you say you would like me to play-please grandpapa?"
" Well, Ned, if you will promise to learn the things your father would like to as well and be a good boy, I expect I might."
" Good because he will listen to you !Mama says I can go to Mr Emidy,who is such a good player.He is from Africa you know.At least I can go If I am diligent enough - he only takes the best pupils. He is very clever and he can play all of Mr Haydn's really hard music.!
" Mr Emidy?" " Yes,grandpapa,do you know him ?"
"Yes,Ned I do- just a little. When you meet Mr Emidy ask him if he still has the music for a piece called " The Food of love". Maybe he might teach you to play it if you become proficient enough.I heard him play it long ago and I would like..."
"Grandpapa. you're crying!" Faced with this new and unsettling thing,little Edward instantly clutched at his grandfathers' waistcoat."You musn't cry - except- except only if they are happy tears. I learned this week people can cry when they are happy too, that was when mama got father's three letters all in one day when she hadn't had word for a whole month - its all right if they are happy tears. Are they grandpapa?"
"They are happy and sad tears both together Ned - that can happen too, sometimes."
"Is the music a present? is it for someone special?"
"Very special, but he died a long time ago."
Was he a hero then,grandpapa, and brave like you or like papa or ... like Admiral Hornblower?
Hugging the warm litle body which had climbed onto his knees, Pellew looked out over his grandson's head into the bay, beyond the channel, over the Atlantic's vastness and saw the fierce sun over an unforgiving day in a hot courtroom.
Edward only just heard his grandfather's almost whispered reply.
"A hero? Yes indeed. And he was the bravest of all of us."
Still it is a thank you for the great videos and because she might get to play her violin on board this summer.
It is another meld of real life and TV canon.Joseph Emidy( c1775-1835) was born in West Africa,taken to Brazil as a slave, and sometime later came to be playing the violin in Lisbon Opera House. Here he was heard by Edward Pellew and other officers on the Indefatigable and,not in one of Pellew's finer moments, a party from the Indy 'pressganged' him and he became the ship's fiddler for a few years. He left the navy in 1799 and lived and worked in Cornwall,admired as a virtuoso player and well known composer and later the leader of a symphony orchestra in Truro. He married a Cornish woman and settled with his family permanently in Cornwall. He was rated Able Seaman for pay purposes and this story takes off from history into TV canon by its premise that he is assigned to Archie's division.His name is spelled here as it is in the Indy's muster books - Emede.
TITLE: The Food of love
WORDS:3,500
RATING: GEN
DISCLAIMER: I own neither the historical figures or the fictional ones, and make no profit other than enjoyment from them.
SUMMARY: Archie, now an acting lieutenant, has a conversation with Captain Pellew about one of his division.About Music, gifts and justice.Beware somewhat several - tissue (Aka corny perhaps)ending which sneaked up on me.
The Food of Love
Indefatigable, just outside a remote bay on the coast of Spain, in the wardroom
The Indefatigable lay at anchor in the wide bay, and two of her shoreboats had gone ashore - the one simply to replenish water and the other on a rather understated reconnaissance mission headed by Lieutenant Hornblower.
Acting Lieutenant Kennedy had something on his mind and had gone to consult Mr Bracegirdle about it.They had had a warm conversation and Archie, once he had realised that naturally John Bracegirdle thought at first he was worried about Horatio's safety, smiled and said:
" I should think it a compliment to my friendship that everyone assumes if I am worried then it is about Horatio. I admit I would rather have gone with him, but I understand the exercise depends on small numbers and - he broke off but I would rather be where he is when danger threatens. It might be that I could do nothing but.."
" I know, you would at least try and if the worst came, you would be there in death to comfort your friend."Archie nodded, suddenly solemn- eyed.Bracey's kind gaze met his, the honesty in the older and wiser blue eyes mirrored in the earnest expression of the younger ones."I feel the same way.Which is why if Ned- if the captain insists on doing the - er more adventurous things he still will do I prefer it to be under my watchful eye.
But," the gentle interrogation continued. " It evidently wasn't about Horatio that you were concerned."
" No, its something other than Horatio I came to talk about.It about Joseph Emede, who was assigned to my division"
After hearing him out in the patient silence that was his way, Bracey had said " you have every right and even perhaps a duty to let the captain consider this.But, Mr Kennedy,you are a lieutenant now and it is perfectly possible, even desirable that you see the captain yourself and explain the issue. He is one of your division and,as an officer, you have the right and responsibility to bring these concerns to the captain.
He did not miss the indrawn breath, or the tightening of anxiety in the lovely face at his suggestion, for he added,smiling the smile that could disarm almost as much as Archie's own:
"His bark is fierce, but he has - a kindness in measure that few understand, Mr Kennedy.And he usually can hear, when he needs to, about righting a wrong.And he has promoted you and has learned, as we all have, to respect your great strength in emerging from Ferrol. Speak to him on deck this morning and I am sure he will listen to you."
Archie saluted as the captain came on to the main deck and requested,
"Sir,may I have a few moments to speak with you - in private- today?"
Pellew's intense scrutiny was, as he expected, then turned on the maker of this unusual request. " Mr Kennedy, you may certainly. Hmn, what watch have you this evening, the second dog watch I think?"
"Yes, sir."
"Then come in the hour preceding- does that suit?"
"Yes,sir." "Then carry on,Mr Kennedy."
------------------
The captain's quarters, Indefatigable
2. Entering the captain's quarters at just after the bell had struck, Archie came to attention inside the door."Acting -Lieutenant Kennedy,sir,reporting as we arranged."
The captain laid down the book he was reading and gestured to a chair " Pray sit,Mr Kennedy.. you will have long nough to stand on watch."
Archie, recognising the continued gruff but determined care of his person and health which had been thus obliquely offered him since Ferrol, complied.
"Thank you sir,"Archie offered his luminous smile, though there was trepidation in it as Pellew was not slow to recognise.This young man continued to reinforce the witness of his prison stay,that he had a great capacity to overcome his fears in defence of others.His was a depth of character that the lightly jesting boy he appeared at first to be tended to mask, but Pellew had much more of a picture now.He regarded Archie steadily.
A silence,short but not threatening continued a short while and then Pellew spoke, in a voice very measured and gentle. Archie, to whom this side of his captain was as yet unknown, was briefly taken aback. "You are -anxious- for Mr Hornblower's safety ?"
Archie's smile widened - even here his natural belonging with Horatio was taken quietly for granted.He thought, - we can at least begin there.It was in one way annoying and in another endearing that this was the case, and, Archie realised with some gratitude, from the captain was both protective and, to some extent,a mutually understood preoccupation.
"I do find myself a little anxious,sir,"said Archie " I understand the need for the expedition and for so few to undertake it, but"... he paused, aware of the inevitable dark gaze searching him thoroughly and unwilling to appear as if merely critical.
" Your anxiety is well-founded, Mr Kennedy, for he is your friend and your loyalty and mutual companionship are exemplary. I remember once..."
...Archie looked up, aware that the hawk's stare was gone from scrutinsing him and was instead unfocused, Pellew's thoughts clearly far away in distance and time. Archie understood that he was seeing now what only Bracey-and perhaps Horatio- ever saw; a very vulnerable, tired and solitary man.
"Yes, sir?" he made his question as encouraging as he could, but could see that the captain was already gathering the components of his reserve again.Partly successful, he turned back to the young acting-lieutenant.
"It is of no matter, Mr Kennedy, it is all long, long ago. But as I say your loyalty and care for each other is of great importance.But your friend is ever resourceful, as you know, and I am sure we shall, to a man, soon be cheering his latest exploit, would not not agree,hmn?"
Archie nodded, his gaze suddenly a little wistful, then, recollecting himself, replied " Yes, sir!"
Pellew rose to his feet and went and picked up a decanter and glasses. Archie, surprised and not a little relieved, suddenly understood with his instinctive compassion, how it must be to have your every offer even of a little conversation over a drink have to be made formally and always with constraint.They all had that chance when abaord ship,for ordinary sharing over food and drink, for being in each other's company,all except the captain, for whom every such invitation had always to be formally issued.
He could almost feel the captain's stiffening spine and furrowed forehead as if he understood them. "Would you care for a glass of wine to drink the health of our expeditionary party and Lieutenant Hornblower, Mr Kennedy - it still lacks a three quarter hour to your watch.?"
This time the smile that greeted him was as it was most normally for everyone- as bright as the overhead sun. Except, thought Pellew, when it is for Horatio, when it has the brightness of countless suns. He raised his glass, having handed Archie his:
" Here's to the safe return of all the expeditionary party, and Mr Hornblower, to his ship and to his friend."
"and to his captain" added Archie, somewhat daring.
At this of course, the penetrating gaze found him again ,but there was no anger in it. " Do you think he would not think us both over anxious, could he but hear us,Mr Kennedy? And be half- shy,half- glad of our welcoming when he comes aboard again?
[I think he would do what he always does - first seek for my face and the love in my eyes. Look to me for comfort and for the promise of his body on mine later. He would see both but he would not see the agony while he had been gone , because I will not show him. But just as soon he would raise his eyes heavenward -at least to the quarterdeck. And again he searches for approval and love and he sees it in your face but he does not see the anxiety and the fear and the pain because you can never show them. He has two instinctively -sought after havens- my body and my love and your love and your thoughts and approval. He and I are so different and you and he so alike. Yet he needs our love in its different measure and how very dearly he has both,if he would but look properly]
He did not of course say any of this, but instead,
" Oh,indeed sir,I think he would say to me " O Ar-chie" and to you " Sir?" quite uncomprehending of it all!
"Excellent mimicry, Mr Kennedy, I won't even attempt to ask you which other officers that talent extends to - lest I should have to hear a confession!"[ he was,just like his dark haired friend, Pellew thought idly, even more beautiful when he was a little embarrassed.]
There it was! thought Archie, the smile that just lifted the corners of the captain's mouth- how he would like to be able to engender the one he knew could lift the stern face into the real inner warmth of the man. But for now, it would do.
" There was another matter on which I wanted to consult you, sir, about a member of my division."
" Yes,mr Kennedy?"
" Sit, it concerns Joseph Emede, the violin player whom we ..pressed in Lisbon."
Pellew shifted a little in his chair, his face more guarded again.He was aware from Kennedy's slighht pause that he was among those who were not wholly sure about their actions with regard to Joseph. Pellew's conscience had allowed him a few wakeful nights retrospectively, though he would maintain it had been a right decision for the good of crew morale he knew, in his inner self, that it had been a rather questionable action. Is he not well, or has been guilty of some ill- conduct?"
" Neither sir, but I do think it may concern his health ultimately if not dealt with ?"
" How so, Mr Kennedy?"
" Well, sir , his duty aboard is to play for the men for their songs and dancing and he does that very well indeed sir- but he is used to far more. A higher music, or at least a different one.He has a great gift, sir and a great heart. But belowdeck he has barely room to stretch his bowing arm free and - sometimes sir,I think the darkness there reminds him of his slavery days. - Confinement can be most shattering sir, as you know, and the memory remains. He can go on helping our mens' morale, but better if we care for his own."
Archie waited, sipping again nervously from his glass.To his intense relief there still was no anger in the captain's voice:
"What is necessary for this well-being then,in your opinion. Mr Kennedy?
" Some copies of the music he loves- Haydn, Cimarosa and so on and the official right to practise them - and perhaps somewhere that he can rehearse in the light and with a little freedom,?"
"Very well,I will consider it. report here at the end of your morning watch tomorrow with Emede and I will see what can be done."
" Thank you,sir and thank you for the wine. May I go now sir?"
You may, Mr Kennedy" -wait, he said as Archie turned to put his glass on to the table. " he really is exceptional as a musician in your opinion?"
"He has a great gift sir, like yours for tactics and courage, or Horatio's for Mathematics and quick thinking...
" or yours for compassion and insight,Mr Kennedy. All right, you may go."
Archie, feeling a foot taller than his real height, went out to rehearse to himself through his watch the captain's praise, finding for once that he never even thought about how cold it was.
Captain's quarters, the next day.
Archie, reporting with Able Seaman Emede in tow, stood again in the wide and sunlit cabin. Pellew was speaking to Emede.
" Mr Kennedy has represented to me your need to have more music of the style to which you are used to play.There will be at Gibraltar an agent for a London bookseller. if you furnish Mr Kenendy with a list of items, they will be bought as part of the ship's supplies"
The intelligent face lit up ,glanced at Archie gratefully, then Emede recollected himself and faced his commander.
"Yes, sir, thank you sir."
"Furthermore," added Pellew, "Mr Kennedy has also represented to me the desirability of somewhere light and with er, elbow- room, for you to rehearse. There are few such places on board a frigate-and this,I think, is the best of them - he swept a hand around his elegant cabin. "In future, when I am certain that I wish to be on deck or am elsewhere, and you are not on watch and not required elsewhere,I will send word to Mr Kennedy by my steward and he will escort you here and you may rehearse for a while.You may only come at such a summons and never unaccompanied, but it will at least give you some space."
This time both lieutenant and seaman looked at him in open mouthed pleasure- which he found to his surprise wsa both gratifying and unnerving.Unsurprisingly then, the next words came out with the abruptness that was his way of covering emotion. " and you may then perhaps play for us at an officer's dinner from time to time by way of assessing that the ship's company derives benefit from your privileges.
That is all, you are dismissed- not you, Mr Kennedy, will you stay a moment?"
As the door shut behind Emede, Archie grasped his hat under his arm tighter, wondering what came next.
" I wish you to be aware of what I am asking you and why.I have asked you to accompany the man because it is an unusual privilege he has been granted and for a particular reason, his need to rehearse and the practicalities thereof.I want no temptation to anything even to be thought of as privilege put in his way - for his own sake -I do nor want any jealous crew mate to accuse him of anything in order to ferment what they may perceive as trouble for Emede. Your presence will guarantee both his own behaviour and the security of the issue. And besides, I have a feeling you will enjoy the music, am I correct?"
" Indeed, yes,sir I would - and -
"well out with it, man"
" Thank you for your care and attentiveness, sir."
" Hmn - I " but Pellew did not finish as there was a knock at the door," Come !" It was Midshipman Cleveland, a little flushed with hurrying.
" Sir, Mr Bracegirdle's compliments and he thought you would want to know- the reconaissance party is returning and is in sight sir. All members of the party are present,sir. "
" Thank you, sir and inform Mr Bracegirdle that I shall be on deck in a moment." As Cleveland sped off, Pellew turned to Archie and, for a moment said nothing, though Archie rightly interpreted the shared intention of the gaze- that overwhelming relief was just invading both of them he knew well.
Out on deck, Archie went to greet the returning party,Horatio, looking tired but happy, the last to come aboard. He turned straight to Archie and the deep brown eyes locked with his. Archie looked back with everyhing he could summon of love and happiness- and- he hoped- quite some unadulterated lust as well.Horatio's smile broadened - and then, just as Archie knew would happen, he turned from him and raised hopeful eyes to the quarterdeck, almost reverently, as he saluted his captain. With a wry grin Archie followed his gaze - only to see Pellew return the salute as solemnly but then, as Horatio was momentarily distracted by a greeting from another officer, Archie saw his captain distinctly turn in his, Archie's, own direction and offer acknowledgment with an inclined head and just a suggestion of a salute.
Now that, thought Archie, is clever,to acknowledge to me even the part of the conversation I didn't share with him.
A few weeks later, Joseph was practising in the cabin as had been arranged.Archie sat at the table, his unread book discarded in front of him, listening intently to a new piece that the violinist had been hard at work on. It was a yearning, flowing melody and burst at the end into a bright and furious cadenza. They were both so absorbed that they did not hear the door open and Pellew enter-.Immediately holding up a hand to prevent Archie springing to attention, and raising a finger to his lips, the captain sat down at the end of the table and Emede, who had his back to all this , continued to play.
At the end he finished and turned to Archie - only to look instantly anxious when he saw he had two listeners. " At your ease,Emede,I did not want to interrupt you. That is a spirited piece- what is it?"
Emede was pleased to be asked,that was evident in the enthusiastic answer."It is my own composition, sir,-its intended as a gift for Mr Kennedy, its a - a response to some Shakespeare themes. I intend to call it 'The Food of love',sir,from"
" Twelfth Night, yes,I see.Very good. You may both go, now,I have a great many things to do.
After they had left, he did not, as he had intended,begin his work immediately but sat, absorbed in his own thoughts, for quite some while.
6. West Cliff House Teignmouth, 1818
The Pellew household was again alive with myriad voices, primary among them childen's high pitched excited tones exclaining at the adventures always to be had at grandpapa and grandmama's house. Eliza, Pownall's wife, and her brood were arriving and the childen were skittering though the house to find their grandparents. Young Edward, at seven already quite a solemn child, was not so today.He rushed through to the veranda where he found his grandfather sitting in the shade and rather predictably reading the "The Naval Gazette".
" Grandpapa? He spread out his arms and Pellew picked up his namesake and swung him up high much to young Ned's delight. The game was to call out " mizzenmast"" mainmast" and "foretop" and so on and one would be swung into the appropriate position high above an imaginary deck.Ned giggled and aimed, as he always did, to go fast enough to catch his grandfather out with a move to the wrong mast, but he had never yet succeeded in doing so.His reward was always to end with Main:top gallant! and be swept down from thence all the way to the deck in one wriggling mass of delight.Though it was a moot point which of them enjoyed it the most.
"You're getting too big for grandpapa to manage that for much longer" his mother said....having followed him out to the veranda. Pellew smiled and forebore to tell this sailor's wife that one slight little boy still failed by a long way to compete with a armful and more of wet sail, or any of the hundred other tasks that produced in any man of the King's navy very strong arms indeed.
Ned looked from his mother to his grandfather and then shifted from foot to foot..
"Mama, please, I'd like to speak to grandpapa by myself for a minute"
Eliza sighed , looked at her father- in -law and took herself off.
"Grandpapa, can I ask you something really really important?
" Of course Ned, is it a secret?"
"No, only mama said not to bother you with it till after tea at least but, its important.
"Hmn fire away then, Ned"
"Grandpapa you know how much I like music and singing - well I want to learn the violin. I really do! And mama said she would let me, but she wrote to papa and he said I should better learn sea craft and knots and things... but I could do both and I really, really want to learn.
Will you write to papa and will you say you would like me to play-please grandpapa?"
" Well, Ned, if you will promise to learn the things your father would like to as well and be a good boy, I expect I might."
" Good because he will listen to you !Mama says I can go to Mr Emidy,who is such a good player.He is from Africa you know.At least I can go If I am diligent enough - he only takes the best pupils. He is very clever and he can play all of Mr Haydn's really hard music.!
" Mr Emidy?" " Yes,grandpapa,do you know him ?"
"Yes,Ned I do- just a little. When you meet Mr Emidy ask him if he still has the music for a piece called " The Food of love". Maybe he might teach you to play it if you become proficient enough.I heard him play it long ago and I would like..."
"Grandpapa. you're crying!" Faced with this new and unsettling thing,little Edward instantly clutched at his grandfathers' waistcoat."You musn't cry - except- except only if they are happy tears. I learned this week people can cry when they are happy too, that was when mama got father's three letters all in one day when she hadn't had word for a whole month - its all right if they are happy tears. Are they grandpapa?"
"They are happy and sad tears both together Ned - that can happen too, sometimes."
"Is the music a present? is it for someone special?"
"Very special, but he died a long time ago."
Was he a hero then,grandpapa, and brave like you or like papa or ... like Admiral Hornblower?
Hugging the warm litle body which had climbed onto his knees, Pellew looked out over his grandson's head into the bay, beyond the channel, over the Atlantic's vastness and saw the fierce sun over an unforgiving day in a hot courtroom.
Edward only just heard his grandfather's almost whispered reply.
"A hero? Yes indeed. And he was the bravest of all of us."