Windfalls, Chapter 7
I admit that I'm quite proud of how this chapter turned out. I didn't expect things to go so well.
TITLE: Windfalls, Ch. 7
RATING: PG to be on the safe side.
WORD COUNT: 2,178
PAIRING, IF ANY: Eventual Horatio Hornblower/Captain Amelia
SPOILER WARNING: Implications about some of the later books, but nothing major.
DISCLAIMER: I own nothing here.
SUMMARY/NOTES: When wine flows, so does conversation…
At Eight that evening, Midshipman Savage knocked at Hornblower’s door. “Mr. Bush’s compliments, Captain. He sent me to tell you that the Legacy’s sending a boat over.”
“Thank you, Savage,” Hornblower said, standing up and starting to tidy his papers, “I’ll be up to greet them shortly.”
Savage nodded and withdrew. Hornblower made sure his cabin was in order, and after a quick check with Polwheal to make sure that dinner was progressing as planned, he came up on deck. The boat was just coming up against the side as he arrived. Nodding to Bush, he waited for Drake to appear.
Drake bounded onto the deck with her usual verve, then bent down and held out her hand to the boat below. When she straightened up, she had two bottles in her hand. Smiling, she shifted them into one arm and held out her free hand. “Well met, Captain Hornblower.”
“Well met,” he answered, shaking her hand, “What’s that you’ve got?”
“You were kind enough to provide the wine for my dinner, so I thought I’d return the favor. I couldn’t decide between the wine and the scotch, so I brought both. You don’t mind?”
“Not at all. If I may, Captain Drake, I was under the impression that Mr. Kennedy would be joining us.”
“Mr. Kennedy sends his regrets,” Drake said apologetically, “He’s been overseeing the storing of the supplies, and it’s been…difficult. The poor man was clearly exhausted, and although he wanted to join us very much, he was clearly in no condition to come along.”
“Ah well,” Hornblower said, “Pass along my well-wishes when you return.”
“I shall. Mr. Bush is still welcome at the table, of course.”
Bush shook his head. “I would not want the table to be lopsided. Please, let this be a captain’s dinner only.”
“If you’re sure, Mr. Bush…” Hornblower said, a touch uncertainly. He no longer dreaded spending time with Captain Drake, but having a bit of support was nonetheless welcome. Who knew what she could get up to in a more social setting? Bush was certain, and with a shrug of his shoulders, Hornblower directed Drake into his cabin.
Drake set down her bottles on the table and sat down when Hornblower gestured towards the chair. “What have you prepared for us today, Captain?”
“Goose,” Hornblower said, “We got a fine one in the supplies.”
“I envy you,” Drake said, amused, “We did our best, but our poultry is a nightmare. That’s part of what gave Kennedy so much trouble; the damn things escaped in the storeroom. It took three men to chase them down, and one of them went over the side. I suppose it felt more at home in its natural environment.”
Hornblower laughed a little. “This one will no longer be any trouble, I assure you.”
Polwheal came in with the goose, and opened the bottle of wine. When the glasses were poured, Hornblower raised his glass. “Well then, a toast. To our continuing success in chasing down privateers.”
Drake raised her glass obligingly. Hornblower sipped; it was a very fine wine indeed. He wondered if she’d gotten it off the supply ship or if it was one of her own. It was better than what he had, that was for certain. Drake, however, made no mention of it, instead turning the conversation to matters aboard her ship. She was an excellent storyteller, and Hornblower listened with interest and amusement. When she had finished, he supplied a few stories of his own.
The goose was easily disposed of, and the wine went down easily. Before long, stories of life on ship gave way to stories of Archie. It seemed both captains had a few tales to tell. Archie was a fine first officer, but he was, in Drake’s words, “a scoundrel of the highest order. Really, I don’t know how you put up with sharing a berth with him.”
Polwheal had taken the liberty of providing a small cake for dessert, and since the wine was gone, Hornblower and Drake obligingly turned to the scotch. This time, Drake was the one who raised her glass. “To depleting the Emperor’s treasury!” she said, laughing richly. Hornblower laughed too, clinking glasses with her. The scotch, as it turned out, was very fine too.
After two glasses of scotch, Hornblower knew that he had passed the point of mild intoxication. He was now, most certainly, drunk. He put his hand over his glass when Drake offered it to him; if he held off now, he could spare himself a lot of pain in the morning. Drake filled her glass, and Hornblower found himself considering her. He himself rarely got drunk, and when he did, he tried his best to maintain his decorum. He knew other captains and officers had no such qualms. Some grew exceedingly merry, making a joke out of everything. Some lost control completely and either fell asleep or wound up violently ill. A few became argumentative, and had to be restrained before things came to blows. Watching Drake sip from her glass, he wondered which sort she was. She had stopped talking, now, and seemed very interested in her empty plate. From time to time, she looked over at him, then looked back down. She seemed lost in thought. Hornblower decided not to intrude on her, using the time to try to gather his own thoughts and shove the more improper ones into the background.
“Have you any family, Hornblower?” Drake said suddenly, rolling her fingers around the wine stem. Startled, it took Hornblower a moment to answer. “Erm…not as such, no.”
“Not as such?” Drake repeated, arching an eyebrow in that way of hers, “That’s not exactly a clear cut answer, now is it?”
Hornblower sighed. He supposed it couldn’t hurt to tell her. “Both of my parents have passed away. I had a wife and children, but they’re gone too.”
“Oh.” Drake said flatly, before reaching out and laying a hand on his arm. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have…”
“It’s all right,” Hornblower said, “How could you know?” She was silent for another minute. Her next words floored him.
“I envy you, Mr. Hornblower.”
“You…but Captain Drake, how could you possibly envy me? I’m hardly one of the Navy’s best and brightest. And you’re one of the best privateers we have! I fail to see what in my life is deserving of envy.”
Drake stood up and moved to the nearest porthole, where she bent to look out of it. “Tell me, Hornblower, were your relationships with your family loving?”
Hornblower felt a twinge of guilt for Maria, but answered honestly. “I had no reason to believe that they didn’t love me.”
“Your parents loved you. You have loved, and been loved. And you can look at yourself in the mirror. That’s why I envy you, Mr. Hornblower.”
“Captain Drake, I don’t understand. I cannot deny that your ears are unusual, but with time, one gets used to them. There is no reason for you to be ash…”
“Don’t you bloody dare finish that sentence!” Drake burst out, turning to face him again. Hornblower stared into her face, shocked. Her voice was angry, but her face was ashen; he had never seen pain so clearly exposed. Drake shook her head, as if trying to drive flies away. “You couldn’t know, you couldn’t possibly understand. Don’t talk to me of shame!”
“Drake, what on earth…”
“I destroyed my family, Hornblower. I drove them to ruin. I as good as murdered them. You have no idea what it’s like to look in the mirror and feel the ghosts of your parents hovering over you.”
“Drake, it wasn’t your fault!” Hornblower said desperately. She looked like she was going to do herself an injury. “Nobody in the world would say that you were responsible.”
Drake laughed, harsh and mirthlessly. “Wouldn’t they? A young woman, still in the prime of life, so ashamed at giving birth to a monster, afraid that everyone will pin the blame on her, terrified that all her children will be like that, takes poison when her husband and demon child are out of the house. A fine gentleman, of excellent standing in the community, already worried for his place in society thanks to the rumors about his child, losing that place completely when the news comes that his wife took her own life, turns to drink and follows her three years later. A family, which was not wealthy but at least comfortable, a family that once had a knighthood to its name, driven into the ground, the estate sold, the possessions spread far and wide. And a young girl, left with no option, resorts to subterfuge and lies to her country in order to save her own skin, gets hauled up before a court-martial when she is discovered, is allowed to stay on only out of pity, and then looks out to sea every single day and worries that this is the day that she makes the fatal mistake. I’d say that I’m responsible!!!”
She turned back to the porthole and looked out. Hornblower saw a far off light and knew that she was looking at her ship. “That is my real legacy, Mr. Hornblower. With every privateer I catch, every bit of prize money that comes into my accounts, I hope to restore my family’s name and fortune. God willing, when my day of judgment comes, that will be enough to make up for everything.”
Hornblower found himself at a loss for words. Nothing he could say seemed like it would be any comfort to her. After a moment, Drake shook her head again and turned away from the porthole. “Forgive me, Captain Hornblower,” she said with a flicker of her old smile, “My outburst was uncalled for. I should know better than to overindulge in drink.”
Hornblower cleared his throat. “Yes, well…these things can happen. Perhaps we could switch to water and cards.”
Drake went to the hangers to fetch her cloak and hat. “No, no, I’ve taken up too much of your time already. I’d best be on my way. You can keep the rest of the Scotch.”
Hornblower stood up to see her out. She remained quiet as they made their way to the deck. As she turned to climb into her boat, she reached out and put her hand on Hornblower’s arm. “I’m sorry to have spoiled your evening.” Hornblower tried to give her a reassuring smile. Perhaps knowing that he couldn’t give her an honest answer, she nodded to him and descended into her boat.
When she was gone, Hornblower returned to his cabin, where Polwheal was clearing away the plates. Hornblower flitted around the cabin awkwardly, straightening things on his desk and adjusting the chairs, before he gave orders for Polwheal to lay out his nightclothes. Once Polwheal had gone, he began to undress. Then he went to the small mirror he kept in the corner and stared at himself for a long, long time.
***
The next morning, Hornblower gave orders to signal the Legacy, determined to pay her a visit. The Legacy signaled back that he would be welcome, and he set out at once.
Archie was the one who stepped forward to greet him when he clambered onto the deck. “Captain Hornblower! This is a pleasant surprise!”
“I’d heard that you were poorly,” Hornblower answered, shaking his hand, “and I wanted to inquire after your health.”
“I’m fine, thank you,” Archie said with a smile, “Although I won’t be in the mood for poultry for a good long while.”
Hornblower laughed, then lowered his voice. “I’ve also come to check on Captain Drake. She was in a bit of a state when she left my ship last night.”
Archie glanced over his shoulder. “She did seem a bit more curt than usual. Well, you can look in on her for yourself.”
He stepped aside respectfully and allowed Hornblower to approach Captain Drake, who was standing on the quarterdeck watching the arrival with interest. Giving her a salute, Hornblower said casually, “My compliments this morning, Captain Drake, and I wanted to inquire about your health this morning. No unpleasant aftereffects from too much scotch, I hope?”
Drake held out her hand, smiling sardonically. “Nothing a brisk dunk in ice water couldn’t solve. And yourself?”
“Well enough. Will we be setting sail again today, Captain?”
“I think so,” Drake said, looking up at the sails, “The wind’s in our favor, and I’d like to try to find a merchant ship to give me any new news about privateers in the area. I’ll signal you when we’re ready to go.”
“All right,” Hornblower said, clasping his hands behind his back awkwardly, “I’ll…I’ll head back to my ship then.”
Drake nodded and held her hand out again. “I’ll let you know what I find out.” When Hornblower took her hand, she clasped it in both her own and said in a low voice, “Thank you.” Hornblower said nothing, but he knew exactly what she was thanking him for.
TITLE: Windfalls, Ch. 7
RATING: PG to be on the safe side.
WORD COUNT: 2,178
PAIRING, IF ANY: Eventual Horatio Hornblower/Captain Amelia
SPOILER WARNING: Implications about some of the later books, but nothing major.
DISCLAIMER: I own nothing here.
SUMMARY/NOTES: When wine flows, so does conversation…
At Eight that evening, Midshipman Savage knocked at Hornblower’s door. “Mr. Bush’s compliments, Captain. He sent me to tell you that the Legacy’s sending a boat over.”
“Thank you, Savage,” Hornblower said, standing up and starting to tidy his papers, “I’ll be up to greet them shortly.”
Savage nodded and withdrew. Hornblower made sure his cabin was in order, and after a quick check with Polwheal to make sure that dinner was progressing as planned, he came up on deck. The boat was just coming up against the side as he arrived. Nodding to Bush, he waited for Drake to appear.
Drake bounded onto the deck with her usual verve, then bent down and held out her hand to the boat below. When she straightened up, she had two bottles in her hand. Smiling, she shifted them into one arm and held out her free hand. “Well met, Captain Hornblower.”
“Well met,” he answered, shaking her hand, “What’s that you’ve got?”
“You were kind enough to provide the wine for my dinner, so I thought I’d return the favor. I couldn’t decide between the wine and the scotch, so I brought both. You don’t mind?”
“Not at all. If I may, Captain Drake, I was under the impression that Mr. Kennedy would be joining us.”
“Mr. Kennedy sends his regrets,” Drake said apologetically, “He’s been overseeing the storing of the supplies, and it’s been…difficult. The poor man was clearly exhausted, and although he wanted to join us very much, he was clearly in no condition to come along.”
“Ah well,” Hornblower said, “Pass along my well-wishes when you return.”
“I shall. Mr. Bush is still welcome at the table, of course.”
Bush shook his head. “I would not want the table to be lopsided. Please, let this be a captain’s dinner only.”
“If you’re sure, Mr. Bush…” Hornblower said, a touch uncertainly. He no longer dreaded spending time with Captain Drake, but having a bit of support was nonetheless welcome. Who knew what she could get up to in a more social setting? Bush was certain, and with a shrug of his shoulders, Hornblower directed Drake into his cabin.
Drake set down her bottles on the table and sat down when Hornblower gestured towards the chair. “What have you prepared for us today, Captain?”
“Goose,” Hornblower said, “We got a fine one in the supplies.”
“I envy you,” Drake said, amused, “We did our best, but our poultry is a nightmare. That’s part of what gave Kennedy so much trouble; the damn things escaped in the storeroom. It took three men to chase them down, and one of them went over the side. I suppose it felt more at home in its natural environment.”
Hornblower laughed a little. “This one will no longer be any trouble, I assure you.”
Polwheal came in with the goose, and opened the bottle of wine. When the glasses were poured, Hornblower raised his glass. “Well then, a toast. To our continuing success in chasing down privateers.”
Drake raised her glass obligingly. Hornblower sipped; it was a very fine wine indeed. He wondered if she’d gotten it off the supply ship or if it was one of her own. It was better than what he had, that was for certain. Drake, however, made no mention of it, instead turning the conversation to matters aboard her ship. She was an excellent storyteller, and Hornblower listened with interest and amusement. When she had finished, he supplied a few stories of his own.
The goose was easily disposed of, and the wine went down easily. Before long, stories of life on ship gave way to stories of Archie. It seemed both captains had a few tales to tell. Archie was a fine first officer, but he was, in Drake’s words, “a scoundrel of the highest order. Really, I don’t know how you put up with sharing a berth with him.”
Polwheal had taken the liberty of providing a small cake for dessert, and since the wine was gone, Hornblower and Drake obligingly turned to the scotch. This time, Drake was the one who raised her glass. “To depleting the Emperor’s treasury!” she said, laughing richly. Hornblower laughed too, clinking glasses with her. The scotch, as it turned out, was very fine too.
After two glasses of scotch, Hornblower knew that he had passed the point of mild intoxication. He was now, most certainly, drunk. He put his hand over his glass when Drake offered it to him; if he held off now, he could spare himself a lot of pain in the morning. Drake filled her glass, and Hornblower found himself considering her. He himself rarely got drunk, and when he did, he tried his best to maintain his decorum. He knew other captains and officers had no such qualms. Some grew exceedingly merry, making a joke out of everything. Some lost control completely and either fell asleep or wound up violently ill. A few became argumentative, and had to be restrained before things came to blows. Watching Drake sip from her glass, he wondered which sort she was. She had stopped talking, now, and seemed very interested in her empty plate. From time to time, she looked over at him, then looked back down. She seemed lost in thought. Hornblower decided not to intrude on her, using the time to try to gather his own thoughts and shove the more improper ones into the background.
“Have you any family, Hornblower?” Drake said suddenly, rolling her fingers around the wine stem. Startled, it took Hornblower a moment to answer. “Erm…not as such, no.”
“Not as such?” Drake repeated, arching an eyebrow in that way of hers, “That’s not exactly a clear cut answer, now is it?”
Hornblower sighed. He supposed it couldn’t hurt to tell her. “Both of my parents have passed away. I had a wife and children, but they’re gone too.”
“Oh.” Drake said flatly, before reaching out and laying a hand on his arm. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have…”
“It’s all right,” Hornblower said, “How could you know?” She was silent for another minute. Her next words floored him.
“I envy you, Mr. Hornblower.”
“You…but Captain Drake, how could you possibly envy me? I’m hardly one of the Navy’s best and brightest. And you’re one of the best privateers we have! I fail to see what in my life is deserving of envy.”
Drake stood up and moved to the nearest porthole, where she bent to look out of it. “Tell me, Hornblower, were your relationships with your family loving?”
Hornblower felt a twinge of guilt for Maria, but answered honestly. “I had no reason to believe that they didn’t love me.”
“Your parents loved you. You have loved, and been loved. And you can look at yourself in the mirror. That’s why I envy you, Mr. Hornblower.”
“Captain Drake, I don’t understand. I cannot deny that your ears are unusual, but with time, one gets used to them. There is no reason for you to be ash…”
“Don’t you bloody dare finish that sentence!” Drake burst out, turning to face him again. Hornblower stared into her face, shocked. Her voice was angry, but her face was ashen; he had never seen pain so clearly exposed. Drake shook her head, as if trying to drive flies away. “You couldn’t know, you couldn’t possibly understand. Don’t talk to me of shame!”
“Drake, what on earth…”
“I destroyed my family, Hornblower. I drove them to ruin. I as good as murdered them. You have no idea what it’s like to look in the mirror and feel the ghosts of your parents hovering over you.”
“Drake, it wasn’t your fault!” Hornblower said desperately. She looked like she was going to do herself an injury. “Nobody in the world would say that you were responsible.”
Drake laughed, harsh and mirthlessly. “Wouldn’t they? A young woman, still in the prime of life, so ashamed at giving birth to a monster, afraid that everyone will pin the blame on her, terrified that all her children will be like that, takes poison when her husband and demon child are out of the house. A fine gentleman, of excellent standing in the community, already worried for his place in society thanks to the rumors about his child, losing that place completely when the news comes that his wife took her own life, turns to drink and follows her three years later. A family, which was not wealthy but at least comfortable, a family that once had a knighthood to its name, driven into the ground, the estate sold, the possessions spread far and wide. And a young girl, left with no option, resorts to subterfuge and lies to her country in order to save her own skin, gets hauled up before a court-martial when she is discovered, is allowed to stay on only out of pity, and then looks out to sea every single day and worries that this is the day that she makes the fatal mistake. I’d say that I’m responsible!!!”
She turned back to the porthole and looked out. Hornblower saw a far off light and knew that she was looking at her ship. “That is my real legacy, Mr. Hornblower. With every privateer I catch, every bit of prize money that comes into my accounts, I hope to restore my family’s name and fortune. God willing, when my day of judgment comes, that will be enough to make up for everything.”
Hornblower found himself at a loss for words. Nothing he could say seemed like it would be any comfort to her. After a moment, Drake shook her head again and turned away from the porthole. “Forgive me, Captain Hornblower,” she said with a flicker of her old smile, “My outburst was uncalled for. I should know better than to overindulge in drink.”
Hornblower cleared his throat. “Yes, well…these things can happen. Perhaps we could switch to water and cards.”
Drake went to the hangers to fetch her cloak and hat. “No, no, I’ve taken up too much of your time already. I’d best be on my way. You can keep the rest of the Scotch.”
Hornblower stood up to see her out. She remained quiet as they made their way to the deck. As she turned to climb into her boat, she reached out and put her hand on Hornblower’s arm. “I’m sorry to have spoiled your evening.” Hornblower tried to give her a reassuring smile. Perhaps knowing that he couldn’t give her an honest answer, she nodded to him and descended into her boat.
When she was gone, Hornblower returned to his cabin, where Polwheal was clearing away the plates. Hornblower flitted around the cabin awkwardly, straightening things on his desk and adjusting the chairs, before he gave orders for Polwheal to lay out his nightclothes. Once Polwheal had gone, he began to undress. Then he went to the small mirror he kept in the corner and stared at himself for a long, long time.
***
The next morning, Hornblower gave orders to signal the Legacy, determined to pay her a visit. The Legacy signaled back that he would be welcome, and he set out at once.
Archie was the one who stepped forward to greet him when he clambered onto the deck. “Captain Hornblower! This is a pleasant surprise!”
“I’d heard that you were poorly,” Hornblower answered, shaking his hand, “and I wanted to inquire after your health.”
“I’m fine, thank you,” Archie said with a smile, “Although I won’t be in the mood for poultry for a good long while.”
Hornblower laughed, then lowered his voice. “I’ve also come to check on Captain Drake. She was in a bit of a state when she left my ship last night.”
Archie glanced over his shoulder. “She did seem a bit more curt than usual. Well, you can look in on her for yourself.”
He stepped aside respectfully and allowed Hornblower to approach Captain Drake, who was standing on the quarterdeck watching the arrival with interest. Giving her a salute, Hornblower said casually, “My compliments this morning, Captain Drake, and I wanted to inquire about your health this morning. No unpleasant aftereffects from too much scotch, I hope?”
Drake held out her hand, smiling sardonically. “Nothing a brisk dunk in ice water couldn’t solve. And yourself?”
“Well enough. Will we be setting sail again today, Captain?”
“I think so,” Drake said, looking up at the sails, “The wind’s in our favor, and I’d like to try to find a merchant ship to give me any new news about privateers in the area. I’ll signal you when we’re ready to go.”
“All right,” Hornblower said, clasping his hands behind his back awkwardly, “I’ll…I’ll head back to my ship then.”
Drake nodded and held her hand out again. “I’ll let you know what I find out.” When Hornblower took her hand, she clasped it in both her own and said in a low voice, “Thank you.” Hornblower said nothing, but he knew exactly what she was thanking him for.