(no subject)

[jd75]

Written for Raist’s “Save our Facts of Life Fandom Challenge” at Passion Perfect.

Raist’s challenge: Blair is pining away for more excuses to argue and make up with Jo, so please don't disappoint her... she's nearly bankrupted the Warner estate, she's been that bored without her subtext partner.

“Love for Sale” is the sequel to a previous story titled “A Valentine’s Day Tradition”. If you haven’t read it and would like to, go to my journal.

Title: Love For Sale
Author: jd75
Fandom: The Facts of Life
Pairing: Jo and Blair
Rating: PG15 (some language and mild sexual content)
Words: 4,215
Disclaimer: I do not own any of these characters, I am just borrowing them, no profit is being made.
Episode References: classic quotes from: Season 3's New York, New York, Season 9's Peeksill Law & A House Divided


Love for Sale

Preamble:

Blair and Jo have now been together as an official couple for nearly five years. While Jo is busy with work and her volunteer commitments Blair spends most of her free time away from her headmistress duties at Eastland these days shopping, but her spending is starting to get a bit out of control. If Blair wasn’t wealthier than the Queen, Jo might have been worried they’d go broke!

While on vacation together, Jo has an idea that she thinks will eventually occupy most of Blair’s idle time and not to mention all of hers as well.

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Hearing a key enter the door lock, Jo quickly shoved what she had been looking at in her back pocket. She then hastily threw herself down on the couch, grabbing a copy of Vogue...what the hell.....no not Vogue....yes, that’s what I’m lookin' for.....tossing the fashion mag aside she snatched up a copy of Motorcycle Mechanic from the coffee table instead.

I wonder who it could obviously be.....more than likely bogged down with shopping bags hanging from every limb, that’s why she’s having so much trouble opening the door......Jo mused.

Jo was looking over her shoulder, watching the front door intently.

She saw the door handle finally turn ever so slowly, followed by the abrupt kicking in of the said door, nearly dislodging it from its hinges.

All Jo could see beyond an ocean of parcels was a bit of tousled blond hair. Barely visible  was a section of a full-length mink coat. One foot that adorned a black leather stiletto pump was propped up against the door holding it open.

“Jo, what in heaven’s name are you staring at, get over here and help me please”.

Jo quickly jumped off the couch, running to Blair’s aid.

By the time she had disentangled Blair from her cumbersome load, she looked down at the floor......I’m surrounded by the Fashion Police...she thought. Bags advertising all the ritzy New York boutiques and fashion powerhouses littered the floor around them.

“What a day”, Blair whined “Take the credit card out, put the credit card back, take the credit card out again”.

“Sounds like you had a tough day princess, but apparently you found a few outfits that tickled your fancy”, Jo teased.

“If there’s anything adorable left to buy in Manhattan, it certainly isn’t my fault” Blair said with a satisfied grin.

Jo helped Blair out of her coat, hanging it up in the closet before making a comment. “Hmmm.....let’s see if I remember this correctly Blair.....  since it is Winter, that must mean you’ve been attending the Summer Fashion Week festivities....were you able to snatch up all of the “to die for”, using air quotes...up and coming trends?”

Blair reached out, playfully swatting Jo on the shoulder “Look at you” she said, “making references to obtaining the “must haves” of the newly released Summer line, I must be finally rubbing off on you!”

Jo wrapped her arms around Blair’s tiny waist, pulling her close. Speaking to the blond bombshell with a bit of a snarl, “oh you rub off on me plenty Blair, I especially liked it last night when you rubbed your”....the rest of Jo’s submission was whispered into Blair’s ear.

Blushing and immediately feeling equally a bit flustered, embarrassed and aroused, Blair broke free of Jo’s embrace before responding, “Well Jo, yes it was rather obvious you enjoyed yourself last night didn’t you....a Warner woman always aims to please”.

Yes she does.....Jo agreed.

“Seriously though Blair, I hate to interfere with your shopping rituals, but don’t you think you’ve been goin', I don’t know..... A bit overboard lately with the spending?”

“Yes I would have to agree with you”.

“You would?” Jo retorted, a bit surprised by Blair’s honest omission.

“Yes well”, Blair paused for a second before continuing, “Jo you are always busy with work and other things, you never have time to go shopping with me anymore”. Blair finished her sentiment with a pout.

“I realize that Blair, but I can hardly be blamed for this”. Jo using her arms to gesture around the room at the evidence of the shopping spree sprawled all around them. “Unless....... you’re only missin’ having someone around to carry your bags for you while you rack up more credit card debt than the national deficit!”

Blair was slightly taken aback by Jo’s tone and insinuation that she only wanted Jo with her to carry her bags and nothing more. “Of course Jo, it is nice to have you around to carry my purchases for me, I won’t disagree with you there, but it is more than that.”

“It is?” Jo raised an eyebrow in return.

“Of course it is. You see Jo you are my voice of reason so to speak.”

“How so?”

“Well, you know I have always had very little willpower where spending money is concerned. You have been the one in my life who has always grounded me, and brought me back to reality when I feel the urge to spend, spend, spend!” Blair admitted.

“I mean how many times have I heard you say... Blair, come on, how many frickin’ soft pink cashmere v-neck sweaters with tiny cherries all over it does one broad need?” Blair mimicked her best impression of Jo, Bronx accent and all.

“If it wasn’t for your innate cheapness and frugal ways Jo, I just wouldn’t know what I would do....” Blair hesitated and giggled “except maybe turn the spare bedrooms into walk-in-closets to house all of my pink sweaters that is!”

Jo just shook her head at her partner, I know there must have been a compliment in there somewhere......she assumed.

“I guess you do have a point Blair. Besides, you always need to bring along somebody you trust when you try on clothes. God knows those snooty types who work on commission at some of those shops you frequent are never honest. They’ll tell ya something looks good on you, even when it doesn’t, just to make a sale. As for me, I’ll always be honest with ya babe, tell ya when somethin' just doesn’t look right on you.”

Blair gasped, clutching her chest in horror.

“Hey, you okay Blair?” Jo asked a bit worriedly, looking at the obviously distressed blond.

Between a few huffs and puffs Blair spat out, “What did you just say?”

“Well I was just sayin’ no one can ever look good in every single piece of clothing they try on.”

“Stop”, Blair released her hand from her chest extending it outwards towards Jo.

“That was a rhetorical question Jo, I heard you perfectly well the first time. Just so you know.....those sales representatives are always speaking the truth where I AM concerned. I simply make all fashion look spectacular, don’t you agree?” Blair’s last few words, spoken through clenched teeth, were directed right at Jo.

Oh shit, now I’ve done it, Jo thought... I’ve really put my foot in my mouth this time. I need to say the right thing or I’ll be sleeping on the couch for the next month.....Hmmm, think Polniaczek before you speak......think.....think.... I got it....

“Yes dear” Jo crossed her fingers behind her back, hoping this simple answer might just do the trick.

Blair took one last look in the mirror she had been admiring herself in before turning her focus on Jo. Sashaying over to her girlfriend, Blair grabbed Jo by the belt buckle pulling her close. “I was confident you would agree with me if you knew what was good for you”, Blair rasped “you are much smarter than you look after all.”

Blair flashed a smile and Jo returned it in spades.  Whew, crisis averted....that was a close one, Jo figured.

Blair reached around to give Jo a playful smack on the ass, when she felt something sticking out of Jo’s back pocket. “What is this?”

Jo flung her hand behind her back, pinning Blair’s hand firmly in place. “It’s nothing”.

“Nothing is it?” Blair pushed herself away from Jo holding an envelope in her hand, “well then, you won’t mind if I have a look at it then will you?”

“Blair, give it back. I was hoping to surprise you with that over a romantic candlelight dinner tonight, I was gonna cook all your favourite things, and then after dinner I was gonna give you a foot rub....” ......dammit Jo thought, ....she’s not even listening to me is she?.......

Blair had already opened the envelope, mouth dropping  at what was inside. “Jo, these are first class airline tickets to Hawaii.....honey are you taking me to Hawaii?” Blair screeched as she began jumping up and down, wrapping her arms around Jo’s neck knocking her girlfriend off balance.

Jo started to chuckle at Blair’s excitement. “Yes honey, I’m taking you to Hawaii.”

“Oh Jo, this is fabulous, we should invite Nat and Tootie to join us, how much fun would it be, the four musketeers together again....oh we would have a delightful time.....I’m going to call the girls and see if they would like to come along”. Blair reached for the phone.

Jo took the receiver out of Blair’s hand, hanging it up before she was able to dial.

“What did you do that for?” Blair said, giving Jo a confused look.

“Listen Blair, I love Nat and Tootie just as much as you do, but the only 2 people going on this trip are you and me. I wanted to take you somewhere special for our fifth anniversary. You know,.....on a romantic getaway where we’ll be secluded away from all the hustle and bustle and have some alone time together.”

Blair planted a passionate kiss on Jo’s lips. “When are we leaving?”

“3 weeks today” Jo answered simply.

“What!” Blair cried, panic stricken.

“Don’t worry babe, I’ve already arranged things with your secretary at the school. She’s moved some things around in your schedule to free you up for a couple of weeks”.

“I’m not worried about work!” Blair exclaimed. She looked down at her watch. “Oh good.....I still have time”.

“For what?”

“To go shopping again of course. “

Blair started making a mental list of all the things she would need for the trip. Jo could see the wheels turning in Blair’s head. “I’ll need a few new sundresses naturally, and a few new pairs of sandals and a new sunhat and a new g-string bikini.........you’ll also benefit from that.” Blair winked at Jo.

Blair grabbed her purse and coat and headed for the door. “I promise I won’t be long sweetheart.”

“Ok, then”, Jo sighed. “I’ll have dinner ready and the candles lit by the time you get home.”

“And is my foot rub after dinner still on the menu?” Blair asked hopefully.

“Heh, I thought you weren’t listening to me when I said that?”

“Please Jo, the only time I tune you out is when I am reading Harper’s Bazaar, you know that!”

“Sure Blair the foot rub is still included....see, I figure if I rub you....then maybe later you’ll rub me in that same little area you did last nigh”.........

Blair cut Jo off before she could finish, “Carbs” Blair demanded as she opened the door.

“Carbs?” Jo repeated a bit puzzled.

“Yes, I think we should eat pasta tonight” Blair continued, “We’ll both need our energy later for what I have planned for us to do..... AFTER my foot rub!”

Jo smirked and Blair donned her amazing smile that could light up a room.......

Blair mumbled to herself as she exited....”Take the credit card out, put the credit card back, take the credit card out again”.........

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Only 4 hours into the 9 hour flight and Jo was patting herself on the back for booking first class seats. Not only did she want to pamper Blair in the manner she was accustomed to, but Jo knew her bad knee would have cramped up flying the less expensive Coach class.....

Jo looked over at Blair sleeping soundly beside her. The princess had drifted off shortly after takeoff, but not before finishing off 3 celebratory glasses of champagne the airline stewardess forced her to consume. Smiling, Jo held Blair’s hand and rested her head on the blond’s shoulder.

A bit of background information provided to the reader to pass the time while they are flying instead of an in flight movie......

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It had been shortly after her divorce from Rick when Jo decided it was time for a career change. She enjoyed social work, but she knew her true passion was the field of law enforcement.

Jo reluctantly let Blair support her financially while she was at the Police Academy for the better part of their first year together. Starting out having to work the graveyard shift for years, Jo was now working the day shift at Station 9 in the Bronx. Many of her evenings were spent coaching various sports teams at the Peekskill Boys and Girls Club.

Even though Blair disliked the fact that Jo was working in such a rough and dangerous part of the city, Jo wanted to work in her old neighbourhood. She thought she maybe could make a positive difference there.

Six months ago, while on duty, Jo had been chasing down a crook on foot when she was hit by a car. She crushed up her knee real bad. Blair had some of New York’s finest surgeons put it back together. It was healing nicely, but it would take some time before she was 100% again.

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Stepping off the plane, Jo and Blair were instantly consumed by the Honolulu warmth and humidity. They were immediately approached by a local woman who placed fragrant flower leis around both their necks before greeting them in the traditional Hawaiian way, “Aloha, welcome to Hawaii.”

“Aloha”, both of them replied in unison.

Sporting a mischievous grin Jo whispered to Blair, “not even here 5 minutes Warner and we’ve both already gotten lei’d.”

Blair looked back at Jo with a disgusted expression “Really Jo, does that mind of yours ever leave the perpetual gutter it seems to inhabit?”

Jo shrugged her shoulders “Nope.”

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Jo had spared no expense and arranged for them to stay at their own private beachside manor on the shores of Waikiki Beach.

During their first week on the island of O’ahu, all the things on their “must do” list had been checked off.

They went to Pearl Harbour, picked pineapples at the Dole Plantation and even attended a traditional Hawaiian Lu’au one evening.

Blair made Jo promise that any pictures taken of her at Hanauma Bay in snorkel gear would not be included in the slideshow they would be showing their friends upon their return home.

Blair had even managed to surprise Jo one night. She had taken a few private Hula lessons while Jo had been out on a deep sea dive one afternoon. She gladly put on quite a show for her audience of one. Items of clothing fell to the floor as hips swayed back and forth to the sultry Hawaiian music.

First thing the next morning Jo went out and purchased a CD titled” Do the Hula”.

Jo really wanted Blair to continue her Hula dancing once they returned to Peekskill...........she would have Blair “DO the Hula” and then Jo would get to DO the hula dancer.....

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Blair walked with Jo, hand in hand along the beach until they reached the spot where Jo would be taking her surfing lesson. “Are you sure Blair you don’t want to try this with me?”

“I’m sure Jo, I have no desire to..... catch a wave....dude ......as you so eloquently put it.”

“Suit yourself babe, I’ll see ya later then”.

Blair really wanted to watch Jo surf, but she also desperately needed to go shopping for a black pearl necklace and matching black pearl earrings.

“Oh I just had another one of my brilliant ideas”, Blair said aloud....to herself......... as she made her way over to the surfing booth’s videographer with money clutched in her hand.

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Blair was sitting on the edge of the bed, munching on some macadamia nuts when Jo entered the room favouring a slightly injured left arm.

“Jo, how was your surfing lesson?”

“Back off Blair, I’m even less in the mood for you than usual”, Jo snapped back.

“Grumpy, grumpy”, Blair uttered before clearing away a few of her purchases. She patted the bed next to her, indicating for Jo to come sit down “come tell mommy where it hurts”.

Jo sat down beside Blair with a frown, “I was doin’ so well Blair, up until the end where I caught the Big Kahuna wave. I was riding it like a pro, until I lost my balance and fell on another surfer. I whacked my arm real hard when I came down on their board.  I’m sure people on shore who sat it had a laugh. Anyway, this guy taped the whole thing, so I bought a copy...thought it might be fun to watch sometime for kicks, when the pain subsides.”Jo cringed looking back down at her wounded arm.

Hmmm, I guess my brilliant idea wasn’t so brilliant after all, I’m not sure what we’ll do with 2 videotapes of Jo’s surfing lesson....unless I forward on the copy I receive in the mail to that “America’s Funniest Home Videos” program....Jo loves that show. Blair notioned.

“Oh Jo, you poor thing. How about you point to all your sore spots and I’ll kiss them.... would that make it all better?”

Mm-hmm” Jo answered.

Blair whispered huskily in Jo’s ear, “Show meeeeeeee.”

Jo pointed to her wrist. Blair pulled Jo’s wrist up to her mouth and kissed it tenderly.

Pointing next to her elbow, Blair leaned in, kissing that too.

“Anywhere else hurt Jo?”

Still without uttering a word, Jo placed her pointed finger against her own lips.

Blair leaned in and planted sweet kiss after sweet kiss on Jo’s mouth.

When Blair finally released her grip on Jo’s mouth, the brunette motioned to one final area that desperately needed attention. Jo was smirking and pointing to the now throbbing area between her own legs.

Blair pushed Jo back on the bed in a fury.

Propping herself up on her elbows to watch Blair make quick work removing her board shorts, Jo couldn’t help but notice a monstrosity in the corner of the room.

“Blair”, Jo barked “where did all that fuckin’ crap come from over there?”

“Jo” Blair guffawed “really, must you use that language, you know I don’t like it when”.......

“Can it Blair!.....What is all this stuff?”

“Well, just a few souvenirs I picked up shopping....you know......a case of macadamia nuts, a dozen pineapples I’m going to have shipped home, a dashboard hula dancer for Tootie, a copy of Don Ho’s biography for Natalie, a “Hawaii OR BUST” t-shirt for your father, a ukulele for Bailey, a surfboard for you and I bought myself......”.

Jo interrupted the shopaholic before she could finish her rambling ” Blair, we live in New York State....what the hell am I gonna do with a surfboard?”

“Hmmm”, Blair looked over at the 10 foot fibreglass board......”good point, I guess I wasn’t thinking....but it’s the thought that counts...isn’t it?” Blair replied sheepishly.

Jo stood there, stoned faced, arms folded across her chest.

“Please Jo, don’t be angry with me” Blair pleaded as she pulled a few items out of one of the bags. “I was going to put these on for you tonight and do a new dance I learned for you.”

Jo took one look at the “coconut shell bra and grass skirt”.........

“You’re forgiven Blair.”

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And now....introducing....the mushy parts.....

Valentine’s Day had always been traditionally a day that Jo and Blair spent together, but for the last five years the day also now held a stronger significance...that being their anniversary. This year they would be spending the romantic holiday together on the beach in Hawaii. Jo had something very special planned and she hoped this night would truly be as magical as she’d dreamed it would be.

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After a gourmet dinner of traditional Hawaiian fare, Jo and Blair stood at the ocean’s edge, embracing one another as they watched the sunset, waves crashing over their bare feet.

Returning to the beach house, Jo put on a little Billie Holiday, while Blair waited for her out on the lanai. They began to dance and Jo sang along with the chorus, aloud to Blair...

Love for sale,
Appetising young love for sale.
Love that's fresh and still unspoiled,
Love that's only slightly soiled,
Love for sale.
Who will buy?
Who would like to sample my supply?
Who's prepared to pay the price,
For a trip to paradise?

“I will” Blair whispered.....Jo stopped singing....both of them giggled and continued to sway back and forth in each other’s arms.

When the song ended, Jo stepped away, only slightly from Blair and got down on one knee.

“Oh Jo” Blair frowned when she saw Jo kneel, “are you okay?....has your bad knee given out on you?...maybe we should stop dancing. “ Blair reached down, “here sweetie, let me help you up.”

Jo shoved Blair’s hand away” Geez Blair....you really know how to suck the romance out the moment don’t you?”

Blair looked perplexed.

“I’m down here on my knee for a reason Princess.....I need to ask you a very important question.”

When Blair finally realized what Jo was about to do, tears welled in her eyes.

Jo reached into her pocket and pulled out a little blue box that was emblazed with the Tiffany & Co. name.

Jo’s own moist eyes now looked up into her lover’s as she spoke, “Blair, you are the love of my life and my soul mate. I want to spend the rest of my life making you angry and then making you happy.”

Her princess smiled.....

Jo opened the box and the most exquisite ring on earth sparkled in the moonlight.

“So what do ya say Princess....will you marry me?”

Blair immediately pulled Jo up to a standing position and planted one heck of a passionate kiss on Jo’s lips.

When the kiss finally ended, Jo had to ask a bit hesitantly, “So I’ll take that as a YES?”

“Of course it is a YES.....silly........I, Blair Warner would be elated to marry you...Joanna Marie Polniaczek.... the love of MY life too.”

Jo took the ring out of the box and reached for Blair’s left hand, sliding the ring perfectly into place.

Blair instantly held her hand out in front of her to admire the look of the dazzling ring on her finger.

“Jo, this is stunning....I absolutely love it, but this must have cost you a fortune?”

“Oh, it did cost me a pretty penny Blair, but you are worth every cent.”

“But how?” Blair questioned.

“Overtime” Jo said. “I’ve been savin' up all my overtime wages for the past couple years to buy you this ring......I wanted to get you something special Blair that you would be proud to wear.”

“Oh Jo, you could have given me a ring from K-Mart and I would have worn it proudly.”

“Bullshit” Jo blurted out.

They both laughed before their lips met again.

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After devouring a piece of Hawaiian Haupia pie for dessert, Jo had another special Valentine’s Day proposal for Blair.

“Blair, I know we’ve talked about this before.....and I wasn’t ready......but now I know that I am .”

Jo gulped before continuing, “I want us to have a baby Blair”.

“You do?” Blair gleamed.

Jo reached across the table and held Blair’s hand, “yes I REALLY do” Jo said with assurance.

“Oh Jo, this makes me so happy, I can’t wait to become your wife and then we can start planning our family” Blair said overjoyed.

“You know Blair, a baby is going to be a big commitment, and you’re not going to have the free time to shop like you do now.” As soon as the words escaped her mouth, Jo braced herself for Blair’s wrath.

“Jo, Jo, Jo, I can stop shopping cold turkey if I have to” Jo gave Blair one of her...get real...looks.”Okay, maybe I’m being a little too hard on myself, but I’ll cut down once the baby arrives.”

“Besides” Blair continued,” If this is something we’re going to do together, we’ll both need to make sacrifices.”

“I know Blair, no more overtime shifts for me. I also plan on cutting back on my extra -curricular commitments. Most importantly I’ll be telling my captain not to consider me for further undercover work. I want to make sure I‘ll be around a longgggg time for you and our kids.”

“Kids...... as in more than one?” Blair inquired, raising her eyebrows at Jo.

“Yeah, of course kids.......as in plural...... I’d like to have about 5 of them........how many do you want sweetie?”

Blair nearly fainted.

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Later that evening while Jo and Blair were celebrating in the bedroom......Blair panted, “You do know Jo that what you are doing to me can’t get me pregnant?”

“I know Princess, but I sure as hell am havin’ fun tryin’!”

“You’re right Jo...stranger things have happened......keep trying......keep trying......” Blair encouraged.

The End