Pan 14

[fmyates]

One month ago…

The ship hung aloft in the darkness, above the balcony above the building, above the modern world. On the deck were many men, they moved back and forth tending to the ship and it needs. They were quiet but quick and sure.

At starboard, the side facing the building a man was leaning on the rail of the ship looking down. He seemed to be

Comments

[timwb]

You know, I'm watching Season two of "The Venture Brothers" and I'm sensing where I know this scene's humor from...

Keep it up!
There ain't enough of this kind of this stuff, funny and biting, in spec-fic.
In spec-fic, humor=Terry Pratchett. Terry Pratchett *bores* me. Too self-satisfied and punny.

You are *working* for my laugh in a good old fashioned American way.

hu-ah

[burket]

That was an absolutely balls nasty little twist. i didn't even remotely suspect that bit about the crew, and damn it really sets the tone for something special.

comedy aside which was always a strong suit for you. the dialog really works there. it's Uzi quick, but dumps a lot of back story into the piece without you even noticing.

again, well played sir.

[jezebellydancer]

Ok, I am nearly caught up with you. One more section to go. So...

I need more. More Hook. More Pan.

I forget, does he have that long Charles II hair? I keep seeing Robt Downey Jr in a wig...

I loved the reference to exposition--I may have to steal that one *grin*

[actingbunny]

HAHAHH!

the quips are something awesome in this one.