Comments | fma_fic_contest: Prompt 19- Gold. Collage

leni_ba in fma_fic_contest

Prompt 19- Gold. Collage

Jul 01, 2009 20:07

Title: Collage
Author: Leni
Series: Uh... manga?
Word count: 5x100
Rating: PG-13
Characters: Ensemble. Ed. Win/Ed
Summary: Because life is made of many small moments.
A.N. What is it with this comm that makes me want to experiment. This is a strange little ficlet, and I'm only glad that the Elicia/Ed bunny was... disposed of... on sight.

( So tell me, don't you feel as if you've said the same words before? )

prompt 19, leni_ba

Comments 10

cornerofmadness July 2 2009, 03:37:09 UTC

very interesting take on the prompt

leni_ba July 2 2009, 03:40:34 UTC

thanks! My first idea was a bit more complicated, but with only 12 hours in Lima head of me I decided to go for simple. LOL. I still got no idea what to do about 'sidekick'. *prods Musey*

cornerofmadness July 2 2009, 03:43:50 UTC

i have sidekick. I need to figure out which one to do for metamorphsis. too many ideas, not enough time with me trying to make that original fic deadline

evil_little_dog July 2 2009, 11:48:26 UTC

I've seen an Elicia/Ed. It made me tilt my head...a lot. *grins*

This is very sweet. (Though I want to know why Ed left and if Winry did make it tough on him to return. *grins*)

Why does everyone send me and Al to Xing, anyway? - Ed

leni_ba July 2 2009, 15:58:06 UTC

If you think about it, Elicia/Ed does make sense. Age difference is SO not an issue. It's what, 13 years. Not that bad. And I could see Elicia developing a crush on Ed through her teens (come on, the boy is practically a national hero and he's a family friend. What girl could resist?) Now, whether said crush would be returned - or even noticed; this is Ed after all - well, that I'm not sure about.

I believe Ed could leave if he thinks that everything is going too fast. As far as my understanding goes re: Win/Ed canon, Winry is the only one who's admitted to having feelings, and then only to herself. If, say, something happens between them, for Ed it'd practically be coming out of the blue. And Ed doesn't deal with unexpected stuff very well.

And about Winry giving him a hard time, I tried to imply it in that last line in Roy-s part: He sighs. "Not soon enough." but I don-t think it worked, huh? Oh well. That's why I call it an experiment. lol ( ... )

evil_little_dog July 3 2009, 00:38:41 UTC

this is Ed after all - well, that I'm not sure about.

*snicker*

Well, I still enjoyed the story. Lots.

anat_astarte July 3 2009, 11:38:03 UTC

This is an interesting idea! Yes, Ed's tension is strong, and I like the memory pieces...these questions stick out for me though:

"I know." Resigned. "I'm sorry."

"For what?" she asks, petting his head.
(It's almost like she could hear his thoughts? I'm not quite sure who Ed is talking with her either. )

"I didn't mean to -" he hiccups.

Trisha brings him closer. "It's okay, honey."

"But -"

"Shh, Ed. It will be okay."

And Trisha? Is this Ed's mom? What's going on in this scene? Ed almost seems a bit guilty, what did he do? And what will be ok?

Overall a very intriguing idea!

leni_ba July 3 2009, 13:41:16 UTC

The idea was to have the last sentence of every snippet 'flow' into the next. Thus, we have Roy answering to the 'I'm offended', Al reacting to the 'Not soon enough', Winry being annoyed by the 'It's home' (when he's leaving!) and Trisha wondering what he's sorry about.

He opens his hands then, shows her a misshaped form she hardly recognizes as - gasp! - her grandmother's jewelry case. The one with the gold filigree.

^Well, Ed kinda did an experiment on his mom's stuff and it kinda went wrong. Oops.

enemytosleep July 10 2009, 21:05:48 UTC

My favorites were the Ed/Elicia and the Roy/Ed snippets. Very neat idea, and great job getting gold into so many moments. ^_^

leni_ba July 13 2009, 00:25:39 UTC

Thanks.:) I'm pretty sure there's more meat to this story, but the characters weren't cooperating. My own fav was the Winry/Ed part, but then, I'm an angst lover. *grins*