Prompt 172 - Bare or Bear - "Carry On"

[47thlight]

Title: Carry On
Author: 47thlight
Series: Brotherhood
Word Count: 500
Rating: G
Character(s): Mei Chang, Ling Yao & Ran Fan
Summary: Their journey home has to start somewhere
Notes: Been dying to write this sort of scene, but once again, that evil word limit really made me skimp on the details I wanted to put in.
Warnings: Spoilers for end of the

Comments

[syolen]

Mei is so cute in this! You really show how young she truly is. :)

[47thlight]

Thanks! I wanna say I remember her being like... 12 or something when I watched Brotherhood, but I dunno. I tried to make her sound like she was in the range from 7-12, so I hope I delivered ^_^

[sofipitch]

I like how Ling tries to make amends with Mei for their rivalry in the past. I also liked Mei's slight hostility. The sibling-like relationship in this was very cute.

You write in a very poetic way, it makes the story more beautiful and powerful. Good work!

[47thlight]

I see their bond so much as big brother-little sister, and I naturally gush over brother/sister relationships. They're so stinking adorable~

*bluuuuuuuuuush* Thank you! My style sadly lacks in dialogue most of the time, but I am trying to merge the two together as time progresses ^_^

[antigone_rex]

I loved this. It was adorable and very touching. You did a great job capturing Mei's voice.

Regarding the prompt: Was the bear Shao Mei? Or that Ling bore (bear-ed) her on his shoulders? Or that they were learning to bear one another? I guess it doesn't really matter. You have plenty of bear or bare's to choose from!

[47thlight]

Thank you! I've had a hard time over the years managing to interpret the likeness of a child/youth in my writing. It's been a tough road getting to finally get the concept better, so I appreciate the kindness!

Oh! As for the prompt, my main thought was Ling carrying Mei on his shoulders, but after finishing up writing this story, I realized that I had pulled in the extra idea of them "bearing each other". Or at least Mei was "putting up" with Ling, and Ran Fan was tolerating Mei. XDD

[tirinkadink]

This is adorable and I will hear no words to the contrary. I'm amazed you managed to fit as much description as you did into 500 words! I always seem to have trouble with that sort of thing.

Anyway, I particularly like the characterization here; absolutely spot on and I can read all the dialogue in the voices of the characters. The prompt is very subtle, but that's not a bad thing! Great job with this~

Lan Fan, why are you so negative? >:U

[47thlight]

You flatter meeeeeeee! I've always been a very descriptive writer and consider prose to be my strength. I struggle with dialogue, though, or at least finding a happy marriage for the two to be together in harmony. Thank you for such kind words!

And thank you again! I was hoping to capture Mei's youth and Ling's "maturity" in this piece, and I'm glad I accomplished that.

She's negative because... errrrrrrrrrr, she no get any sexy timez?

[cornerofmadness]

This is really cute. I liked the interplay of Mei and Ling