Prompt 214 : Circle of Life "Reality’s Harsh Light"
Title: Reality’s Harsh Light
Author: Catw00man
Series: PRE Brotherhood/Manga
Word Count: 2,551
Rating: PG-13
Characters: Roy Mustang, Chris Mustang
Summary: Roy learns what he must leave in the past.
Author’s Note: I really do love this boy. I’m still not sure where all it’s going but here’s the next installment of little Roy.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
“Where’s the boy?”
Roy’s breath catches and he clutches the hotel pillow close to his chest. He’s heard that low, feminine voice before and his eyes widen when the memory comes back in pieces that slowly form a whole. He was very little the last time, and he hasn’t thought about her in years, but he remembers crouching in the hallway and listening to the conversation between her and Papa.
~*~
“I don’t care what you say William, it’s not right. The boy deserves better than this.”
The unfamiliar raspy voice sounds funny to Roy’s ears and he leans forward slightly to hear better. He’s already supposed to be in bed, but how can he sleep when there’s a strange lady in the house? The knock on the door came well after dinner and even Papa was surprised. No one ever comes over this late unless it’s something bad. Mama said he could see the lady tomorrow but he wants to see her now!
“Chrissy, Please-”
“I’ve asked you not to call me that, Billy.” There’s a sharp clicking sound following her words and Roy wrinkles his nose when and unfamiliar smell drifts down the hall. He wants to peek around the doorway to see what’s making the smell but he doesn’t want to be seen and sent back to bed.
“And I’ve asked you not to smoke in my house…Chris.” Papa sounds tired and Roy hears the window in the main room being opened. Is he upset? Mama said the lady was his sister. Is he not happy to see her? Why hasn’t she ever been here before?
“You really shouldn’t be so stuffy, William.” A shuffling noise is the next thing Roy hears then the bad smell becomes less. “But I meant what I said. Maybe this is good for you and Molly, but my nephew deserves better.” Something scuffs along the wooden floorboards and Roy holds his breath to hear better. “You’re condemning the poor boy to a life of hard work and poverty!”
“I’m giving him the gift of independence and an honest way of life!” Papa’s voice has an edge to it Roy doesn’t recognize and he bites his lower lip. “Why are you here, Chrissy? Why now? What is this all about?”
“I just don’t want to see someone else trapped in this fruitless way of life, living from hand to mouth, if I can help it.” Something heavy hits the floor again and Roy jumps at the sound. “And I can help. He doesn’t have to be trapped here. Let him come to the city with me. Maybe for the summer….”
“That’s out of the question.” Roy’s eyes widen at Papa’s sharp, short words. He’s never, ever heard him sound so angry, not even when he spilled his milk on his morning paper or knocked over the hay bales when he was trying to climb them. “I will not have you taking my son to the city to corrupt him with all your…city ways.”
“Don’t you dare play holier than thou with me, William! I take care of myself.” The sharp clicking sound comes again and Roy holds his nose when the bad smell from before drifts down the hall again. “All I’m saying is I can give him options, keep him from being lost and trapped…like I was.”
Silence fills the room and Roy holds his breath again to keep from making a sound. He doesn’t understand who’s trapped or where this lady got lost. He does know he doesn’t want to go anywhere, especially with someone who makes stinky smells and yells at Papa. No one should yell at Papa. Mama never does.
“Was it really so bad, Chrissy?” Papa’s voice is softer than before and he doesn’t sound like he’s mad anymore. He just sounds tired. Maybe he should go to bed. “I mean, we had good times. Didn’t we?”
A loud sigh fills the room and Roy takes the chance to let out his own held breath. He gulps for air then listens close as he waits for her answer.
“Maybe we did.” The shuffling noise on the floor starts again then stops. “But it was different for me than you. I always felt trapped and obligated….” The lady makes a sound like clearing her throat Roy leans forward a little bit more to hear better. “I know you don’t approve of what I’ve done, William. But I’m not evil…despite what father-”
“I know you’re not, Chrissy. I know.” Papa’s words get muffled and Roy peeks around the doorway to see him hugging the large lady. They both look sad and he doesn’t understand-
“Roy Mustang. Why aren’t you in bed?”
Roy scrambles up at his Mama’s words and rushes down the hall. He doesn’t stop until the covers are over his head, but he still can’t stop thinking about Papa and the strange lady.
~*~
It wasn’t until the next day that he found out that being Papa’s sister made her his Auntie. She seemed nice enough, but she didn’t say much and she left before it was even dinner time. He never understood why someone would leave before dinner. Papa never talked about her again and until right now Roy forgot all about her. He was so little when she came to their farm. It’s been a long time, but he’s certain she’s the voice on the other side of his hotel room door.
“That’s his room, Madame. I’m very sorry for the delay. The boy wouldn’t-”
“Enough.” Roy jumps at the clipped word, muffled through the door and clutches the pillow tighter. “I’ll deal with him myself. Thank you for your concern.”
Roy frowns at her words because even through the door he can tell her words don’t sound right. She said “thank you” to the man in blue, but it doesn’t sound like when Mama or Papa say thank you. It sounds more like when Papa would get angry and talk about the rabbits for getting in the garden. It doesn’t make sense. But then the door knob turns and Roy doesn’t care about rabbits and thank yous anymore.
The door opens inward and Roy’s nose wrinkles when he smells the same scent he smelled when he was a little. The smoke wafts into the room and he remains very still as the large woman follows it in and closes the door behind her. She stands right by the door and to Roy’s surprise she doesn’t say anything or even smile at him the way most people do. Instead she just looks him over and Roy squirms under her stare. It feels like she’s trying to look inside him and he doesn’t like it one bit.
Roy remains quiet as she brings the long stick with the burning end to her lips and sucks on it like a straw. She pulls it away from her lips and he flinches when smoke blows out of her nose like one of the dragons from Papa’s stories. She opens a small metal box in her other hand and taps the end of the burning stick into it. Ash falls into the box and she closes it with a snap that makes Roy jump again. He doesn’t understand her actions and he twists the end of the pillow in his hands not knowing if he should say anything or not.
“So, I hear you’re not wanting to get on the train.” Roy’s eyes widen at her words and it feels like his throat is closing up. He’s certain he won’t be able to form words under her intense look and he shakes his head sharply from side to side. Her mouth remains in a thin line at his actions and Roy squirms again. “Well, that would make for quite an expensive trip back to Central.”
It’s something about the certainty in her words that finally loosens Roy’s tongue and he sits up straighter on the bed, his legs crossed underneath him. “I’m not going.”
He expects her to get angry with him the way the soldier did or maybe to shout at him. Instead her eyes widen, only fractionally, and she brings the burning stick to her lips for a deeper breath. Smoke pours out of her nose and mouth, but this time he doesn’t flinch. He stays perfectly still and forms his own mouth into a hard line and raises his chin stubbornly. He’s tired of being shuffled around like a prize mare. He doesn’t care if she’s his Auntie or not. He’s not going.
“Is that so?” Roy blinks at the question that doesn’t quite feel like a question. Why does it always feel like she’s saying something other than what she’s saying. Mama and Papa never talked like this. He’s not sure if she really wants an answer so he compromises by only shaking his head. She gives him a long look then brings the stick toward her lips again. “And where do you plan to go, if I may ask?”
Roy frowns at the question. Why would she ask that? Shouldn’t she already know? She’s been to the farm before. Roy drops the pillow to the bed and and clenches his fists in his lap. “I’m going back to my farm to raise horses.” He says it as confidently as he can and for the first time since the soldier took him away he starts to believe it.
“I see.” Roy’s aunt sucks on the stick once more then pulls the small bit with the ember off the end. Then she crushes it out in her little metal box and slips it into the small bag hanging from the crook of her arm. She takes her time doing all of this and Roy nearly fidgets on the bed again, but he doesn’t. He needs to be a grown up now so she’ll let him go back home. She levels her look on him again and he tries to look as tall as he can by sitting up even straighter. “That could be a problem considering the farm isn’t yours anymore.”
Roy blinks at the even simplicity of her words and for an instant they don’t sink in. When they do he nearly loses it. He takes a breath and screws up his face into a stubborn pout. “That’s not true. Papa always said the farm would be mine someday.” He narrows his eyes because she has to be lying to him. “I have horses to take care of. They need me.”
“Actually…they don’t.” Roy sucks in a breath to shout back at her but before he can her silvery eyes lock on him even more intensely as she speaks again. “The horses have been sold to the military. That’s the reason I was able to get the soldier to come for you.”
Roy’s eyes widen at the certainty in her voice and he shakes his head, slowly, then more violently. “No. No that’s not right. Not all of them. Not Ruby!” His throat tightens at the though of men in blue coming for his mare and he fists his hands so tight his nails cut into his palms. “You’re lying! Papa wouldn’t sell Ruby! Take me home. I wanna go HOME!”
His loud voice echos in the small room but his Auntie seems completely unfazed. She takes a single step closer to the bed and her voice lowers slightly, something that makes Roy’s eyes prick with tears. “I’m sorry Roy-boy, but the farm is gone too.” Roy squeezes his eyes shut and shakes his head rapidly. It can’t be true. It just can’t! “It wasn’t completely paid for yet, and without your father to raise the horses-”
“I’ll do it.” Roy sucks in a ragged breath and fists his hands so tight they ache. “I’ll do it!” He jerks his head up and is surprised to find his Auntie has moved closer, almost near enough to touch. “Please, Auntie Chrissy. Let me do it. I can do it!”
She slowly shakes her head and Roy’s throat closes up again. He squeezes his eyes shut again and shakes his head in denial. “It’s already done. The horses are sold and the bank has reclaimed the land.”
The sound of his choked off sob takes him by surprise and he fights to hold back his tears. He remembers when Papa left for West City, how he told him to be a good boy. He needs to be a good boy now. He needs to not cry like a baby. But right now he wants to. Right now he just wants- “Mamaaaaaa.” The name slips from his lips like a desperate prayer and he trembles with loneliness as hope slips away.
“I’m sorry, Roy-boy. They’re gone too.”
Her words are soft, closer, and he remembers hearing something like that before. He was younger and two of their barn cats were killed by a coyote. Mama said something like that when he was crying over them. She told him how death was the circle of life, like the crops and the seasons. It hurt, but then she took him the loft in the barn where another cat had just had kittens. It was the first time he saw life and death and he understood it. But this time it’s too much. This time he doesn’t have Mama to hold him and dry his tears and Papa to take him out for a ride. This time he’s all alone!
Roy opens his eyes to find his aunt near the side of the bed and he doesn’t think, just acts. He launches forward and presses his face to her chest and wraps his arms around her. She stiffens under his touch, like she’s not used to being hugged, and Roy’s never felt more alone. But then her arms lightly wrap around him and that’s all it takes to crack the fragile dam holding back his tears.
He presses tighter against her and somewhere in the back of his mind he notices she’s softer than Mama but it doesn’t matter. She’s holding him and he needs to be held. His eyes burn as the tears fall and his chest tightens until it’s hard to breathe. He’s cried before, but not like this. Before he could still go home. Before it wasn’t all real. Before he could almost pretend-
Her arms tighten more around him and Roy clings to her the way he’d cling to his mare when she ran out of control, but this time it’s his world that’s racing by with nothing to rein it in. A heavy hand runs over his hair and he shuts down under the touch, all his stubborn barriers crumbling like dust in the field.
“You won’t be alone, Roy-boy. I’ll make sure of it.”
The certainty in her words is cutting and raw, just like when she told him about the farm and his parents. It’s simple and it hurts, but unlike when the man in blue and Mrs. Cleary told him things would be alright, he actually believes her. He doesn’t know where they’re going or what he’ll do there, but at least he won’t be alone.
Author: Catw00man
Series: PRE Brotherhood/Manga
Word Count: 2,551
Rating: PG-13
Characters: Roy Mustang, Chris Mustang
Summary: Roy learns what he must leave in the past.
Author’s Note: I really do love this boy. I’m still not sure where all it’s going but here’s the next installment of little Roy.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
“Where’s the boy?”
Roy’s breath catches and he clutches the hotel pillow close to his chest. He’s heard that low, feminine voice before and his eyes widen when the memory comes back in pieces that slowly form a whole. He was very little the last time, and he hasn’t thought about her in years, but he remembers crouching in the hallway and listening to the conversation between her and Papa.
~*~
“I don’t care what you say William, it’s not right. The boy deserves better than this.”
The unfamiliar raspy voice sounds funny to Roy’s ears and he leans forward slightly to hear better. He’s already supposed to be in bed, but how can he sleep when there’s a strange lady in the house? The knock on the door came well after dinner and even Papa was surprised. No one ever comes over this late unless it’s something bad. Mama said he could see the lady tomorrow but he wants to see her now!
“Chrissy, Please-”
“I’ve asked you not to call me that, Billy.” There’s a sharp clicking sound following her words and Roy wrinkles his nose when and unfamiliar smell drifts down the hall. He wants to peek around the doorway to see what’s making the smell but he doesn’t want to be seen and sent back to bed.
“And I’ve asked you not to smoke in my house…Chris.” Papa sounds tired and Roy hears the window in the main room being opened. Is he upset? Mama said the lady was his sister. Is he not happy to see her? Why hasn’t she ever been here before?
“You really shouldn’t be so stuffy, William.” A shuffling noise is the next thing Roy hears then the bad smell becomes less. “But I meant what I said. Maybe this is good for you and Molly, but my nephew deserves better.” Something scuffs along the wooden floorboards and Roy holds his breath to hear better. “You’re condemning the poor boy to a life of hard work and poverty!”
“I’m giving him the gift of independence and an honest way of life!” Papa’s voice has an edge to it Roy doesn’t recognize and he bites his lower lip. “Why are you here, Chrissy? Why now? What is this all about?”
“I just don’t want to see someone else trapped in this fruitless way of life, living from hand to mouth, if I can help it.” Something heavy hits the floor again and Roy jumps at the sound. “And I can help. He doesn’t have to be trapped here. Let him come to the city with me. Maybe for the summer….”
“That’s out of the question.” Roy’s eyes widen at Papa’s sharp, short words. He’s never, ever heard him sound so angry, not even when he spilled his milk on his morning paper or knocked over the hay bales when he was trying to climb them. “I will not have you taking my son to the city to corrupt him with all your…city ways.”
“Don’t you dare play holier than thou with me, William! I take care of myself.” The sharp clicking sound comes again and Roy holds his nose when the bad smell from before drifts down the hall again. “All I’m saying is I can give him options, keep him from being lost and trapped…like I was.”
Silence fills the room and Roy holds his breath again to keep from making a sound. He doesn’t understand who’s trapped or where this lady got lost. He does know he doesn’t want to go anywhere, especially with someone who makes stinky smells and yells at Papa. No one should yell at Papa. Mama never does.
“Was it really so bad, Chrissy?” Papa’s voice is softer than before and he doesn’t sound like he’s mad anymore. He just sounds tired. Maybe he should go to bed. “I mean, we had good times. Didn’t we?”
A loud sigh fills the room and Roy takes the chance to let out his own held breath. He gulps for air then listens close as he waits for her answer.
“Maybe we did.” The shuffling noise on the floor starts again then stops. “But it was different for me than you. I always felt trapped and obligated….” The lady makes a sound like clearing her throat Roy leans forward a little bit more to hear better. “I know you don’t approve of what I’ve done, William. But I’m not evil…despite what father-”
“I know you’re not, Chrissy. I know.” Papa’s words get muffled and Roy peeks around the doorway to see him hugging the large lady. They both look sad and he doesn’t understand-
“Roy Mustang. Why aren’t you in bed?”
Roy scrambles up at his Mama’s words and rushes down the hall. He doesn’t stop until the covers are over his head, but he still can’t stop thinking about Papa and the strange lady.
~*~
It wasn’t until the next day that he found out that being Papa’s sister made her his Auntie. She seemed nice enough, but she didn’t say much and she left before it was even dinner time. He never understood why someone would leave before dinner. Papa never talked about her again and until right now Roy forgot all about her. He was so little when she came to their farm. It’s been a long time, but he’s certain she’s the voice on the other side of his hotel room door.
“That’s his room, Madame. I’m very sorry for the delay. The boy wouldn’t-”
“Enough.” Roy jumps at the clipped word, muffled through the door and clutches the pillow tighter. “I’ll deal with him myself. Thank you for your concern.”
Roy frowns at her words because even through the door he can tell her words don’t sound right. She said “thank you” to the man in blue, but it doesn’t sound like when Mama or Papa say thank you. It sounds more like when Papa would get angry and talk about the rabbits for getting in the garden. It doesn’t make sense. But then the door knob turns and Roy doesn’t care about rabbits and thank yous anymore.
The door opens inward and Roy’s nose wrinkles when he smells the same scent he smelled when he was a little. The smoke wafts into the room and he remains very still as the large woman follows it in and closes the door behind her. She stands right by the door and to Roy’s surprise she doesn’t say anything or even smile at him the way most people do. Instead she just looks him over and Roy squirms under her stare. It feels like she’s trying to look inside him and he doesn’t like it one bit.
Roy remains quiet as she brings the long stick with the burning end to her lips and sucks on it like a straw. She pulls it away from her lips and he flinches when smoke blows out of her nose like one of the dragons from Papa’s stories. She opens a small metal box in her other hand and taps the end of the burning stick into it. Ash falls into the box and she closes it with a snap that makes Roy jump again. He doesn’t understand her actions and he twists the end of the pillow in his hands not knowing if he should say anything or not.
“So, I hear you’re not wanting to get on the train.” Roy’s eyes widen at her words and it feels like his throat is closing up. He’s certain he won’t be able to form words under her intense look and he shakes his head sharply from side to side. Her mouth remains in a thin line at his actions and Roy squirms again. “Well, that would make for quite an expensive trip back to Central.”
It’s something about the certainty in her words that finally loosens Roy’s tongue and he sits up straighter on the bed, his legs crossed underneath him. “I’m not going.”
He expects her to get angry with him the way the soldier did or maybe to shout at him. Instead her eyes widen, only fractionally, and she brings the burning stick to her lips for a deeper breath. Smoke pours out of her nose and mouth, but this time he doesn’t flinch. He stays perfectly still and forms his own mouth into a hard line and raises his chin stubbornly. He’s tired of being shuffled around like a prize mare. He doesn’t care if she’s his Auntie or not. He’s not going.
“Is that so?” Roy blinks at the question that doesn’t quite feel like a question. Why does it always feel like she’s saying something other than what she’s saying. Mama and Papa never talked like this. He’s not sure if she really wants an answer so he compromises by only shaking his head. She gives him a long look then brings the stick toward her lips again. “And where do you plan to go, if I may ask?”
Roy frowns at the question. Why would she ask that? Shouldn’t she already know? She’s been to the farm before. Roy drops the pillow to the bed and and clenches his fists in his lap. “I’m going back to my farm to raise horses.” He says it as confidently as he can and for the first time since the soldier took him away he starts to believe it.
“I see.” Roy’s aunt sucks on the stick once more then pulls the small bit with the ember off the end. Then she crushes it out in her little metal box and slips it into the small bag hanging from the crook of her arm. She takes her time doing all of this and Roy nearly fidgets on the bed again, but he doesn’t. He needs to be a grown up now so she’ll let him go back home. She levels her look on him again and he tries to look as tall as he can by sitting up even straighter. “That could be a problem considering the farm isn’t yours anymore.”
Roy blinks at the even simplicity of her words and for an instant they don’t sink in. When they do he nearly loses it. He takes a breath and screws up his face into a stubborn pout. “That’s not true. Papa always said the farm would be mine someday.” He narrows his eyes because she has to be lying to him. “I have horses to take care of. They need me.”
“Actually…they don’t.” Roy sucks in a breath to shout back at her but before he can her silvery eyes lock on him even more intensely as she speaks again. “The horses have been sold to the military. That’s the reason I was able to get the soldier to come for you.”
Roy’s eyes widen at the certainty in her voice and he shakes his head, slowly, then more violently. “No. No that’s not right. Not all of them. Not Ruby!” His throat tightens at the though of men in blue coming for his mare and he fists his hands so tight his nails cut into his palms. “You’re lying! Papa wouldn’t sell Ruby! Take me home. I wanna go HOME!”
His loud voice echos in the small room but his Auntie seems completely unfazed. She takes a single step closer to the bed and her voice lowers slightly, something that makes Roy’s eyes prick with tears. “I’m sorry Roy-boy, but the farm is gone too.” Roy squeezes his eyes shut and shakes his head rapidly. It can’t be true. It just can’t! “It wasn’t completely paid for yet, and without your father to raise the horses-”
“I’ll do it.” Roy sucks in a ragged breath and fists his hands so tight they ache. “I’ll do it!” He jerks his head up and is surprised to find his Auntie has moved closer, almost near enough to touch. “Please, Auntie Chrissy. Let me do it. I can do it!”
She slowly shakes her head and Roy’s throat closes up again. He squeezes his eyes shut again and shakes his head in denial. “It’s already done. The horses are sold and the bank has reclaimed the land.”
The sound of his choked off sob takes him by surprise and he fights to hold back his tears. He remembers when Papa left for West City, how he told him to be a good boy. He needs to be a good boy now. He needs to not cry like a baby. But right now he wants to. Right now he just wants- “Mamaaaaaa.” The name slips from his lips like a desperate prayer and he trembles with loneliness as hope slips away.
“I’m sorry, Roy-boy. They’re gone too.”
Her words are soft, closer, and he remembers hearing something like that before. He was younger and two of their barn cats were killed by a coyote. Mama said something like that when he was crying over them. She told him how death was the circle of life, like the crops and the seasons. It hurt, but then she took him the loft in the barn where another cat had just had kittens. It was the first time he saw life and death and he understood it. But this time it’s too much. This time he doesn’t have Mama to hold him and dry his tears and Papa to take him out for a ride. This time he’s all alone!
Roy opens his eyes to find his aunt near the side of the bed and he doesn’t think, just acts. He launches forward and presses his face to her chest and wraps his arms around her. She stiffens under his touch, like she’s not used to being hugged, and Roy’s never felt more alone. But then her arms lightly wrap around him and that’s all it takes to crack the fragile dam holding back his tears.
He presses tighter against her and somewhere in the back of his mind he notices she’s softer than Mama but it doesn’t matter. She’s holding him and he needs to be held. His eyes burn as the tears fall and his chest tightens until it’s hard to breathe. He’s cried before, but not like this. Before he could still go home. Before it wasn’t all real. Before he could almost pretend-
Her arms tighten more around him and Roy clings to her the way he’d cling to his mare when she ran out of control, but this time it’s his world that’s racing by with nothing to rein it in. A heavy hand runs over his hair and he shuts down under the touch, all his stubborn barriers crumbling like dust in the field.
“You won’t be alone, Roy-boy. I’ll make sure of it.”
The certainty in her words is cutting and raw, just like when she told him about the farm and his parents. It’s simple and it hurts, but unlike when the man in blue and Mrs. Cleary told him things would be alright, he actually believes her. He doesn’t know where they’re going or what he’ll do there, but at least he won’t be alone.