Prompt 164, Pills, "Last Resort"
Title: Last Resort
Series: Manga
Word Count: 276
Characters: Riza
Summary: She’s just doing her job
Warning: Depression, hints of substance abuse and self harm
The soldier pills are never good in excess but these days, she has no choice. The manual says they should be used as a last resort but to her, every day is a last resort. Every day is another struggle to talk herself out of her sleeping bag, into her sand coloured cloak and off to the sniper’s tower where she must take yet more lives for her country. She doesn’t think she can’t, she knows. And that’s why they have become a necessity. It also helps when her body isn’t the only thing to blame and hate at night.
If anyone’s noticed she always gives away her rations at mealtimes, they haven’t openly said anything to her. Why would they? What right did anyone have to tell her she should be looking after her health out here in this wasteland? What right did she have to want food, or comfort, or a chance at redemption? She had left all those behind willingly when she had come to Ishval and now she has no one to blame but herself.
And the small red pallets that keep her going.
It doesn’t matter if her body will get used to them in time or if they will get used to her body. All that matters is that no one will notice the difference. And that’s the way it should be. Because as long as she is out of that tent within two minutes of being called, as long as her rifle is at the ready, as long as the Hawk’s Eye mans her tower, Private Riza Hawkeye is doing her job.
And the soldier pills are doing theirs.
Series: Manga
Word Count: 276
Characters: Riza
Summary: She’s just doing her job
Warning: Depression, hints of substance abuse and self harm
The soldier pills are never good in excess but these days, she has no choice. The manual says they should be used as a last resort but to her, every day is a last resort. Every day is another struggle to talk herself out of her sleeping bag, into her sand coloured cloak and off to the sniper’s tower where she must take yet more lives for her country. She doesn’t think she can’t, she knows. And that’s why they have become a necessity. It also helps when her body isn’t the only thing to blame and hate at night.
If anyone’s noticed she always gives away her rations at mealtimes, they haven’t openly said anything to her. Why would they? What right did anyone have to tell her she should be looking after her health out here in this wasteland? What right did she have to want food, or comfort, or a chance at redemption? She had left all those behind willingly when she had come to Ishval and now she has no one to blame but herself.
And the small red pallets that keep her going.
It doesn’t matter if her body will get used to them in time or if they will get used to her body. All that matters is that no one will notice the difference. And that’s the way it should be. Because as long as she is out of that tent within two minutes of being called, as long as her rifle is at the ready, as long as the Hawk’s Eye mans her tower, Private Riza Hawkeye is doing her job.
And the soldier pills are doing theirs.