Message from a ghost
Title: Message from a ghost
Pairing/Focus: Jinyoung/Sandeul
Rating: PG 13
Word Count: 1,177
Prompt(s) Used: 2 and 4
Summary: His gaze, constantly on the door, waiting for it to magically swing open, a wide smiling Junghwan stepping in and calling “I’m back! Did you miss me?”
Notes/Warnings: Character death
The cold seems inviting, almost overwhelming, swallowing his thoughts one by one. The heater is turned off. Why waste precious energy when no heat could warm him up inside anyway? ‘Do you know this feeling? When it can be 90° outside but your heart and insides feel cold?’
He remembers those words with a bitter smile on his face. His phone switched closed and open, again and over again before he finally decides to read the text. It says more but those lines where all he had remembered. ‘Omg. You should be here. I miss you so much. Like.. it’s so hot outside but for some reason I still have goosebumbs. Do you know this feeling? When it can be 90° outside but your heart and insides feel cold? It’s because I need your smile to warm me up from inside! My hyung. I miss you so much. I can’t wait to get back. I have to go now. I love you!’
Tears gather in his eyes again. It wasn’t fair. Life was never fair but this seemed below any level of fairness he felt like he deserved. Missing a loved one was never easy but without any hopes of him returning soon, your heart just grows cold. It’s exactly what he’s experiencing right now. The inner coldness. Nothing could warm up his heart, accept for that one smile. The cold didn’t do much as the thoughts kept coming back at him, the hope… His gaze, constantly on the door, waiting for it to magically swing open, a wide smiling Junghwan stepping in and calling “I’m back! Did you miss me?”
“I miss you.” He whispers to himself, gaze still on the door until it starts to blur over. “I miss you so much.”
The night is spent crying again, sleep a far worry in the back of his head.
Morning comes too soon, too unexpected and the light hits him right in the face, red eyes scrunching together in displease. Those eyes, ones to bright and full of expression have become empty and cold. Anyone barely comments him on them again. “You have beautiful eyes.” “Thank you.” It’s another bitter memory, another reason to sigh. A quick thought strikes him. Peaking up at the calendar, he realizes it’s about time again. Still after the second time it hasn’t gotten any easier. Last year, he had promised to Junghwan that he would do his best to smile and life more healthy, make those rings under his eyes disappear. He still felt it wasn’t fair though. How could he move on, when the other was so happy, so far away?
He drags himself into the bathroom, having a quick shower, brushing his teeth. He dresses up for this occasion, just like last year, and before the sun is high in the sky he makes his way to their old favorite place. A small table with a chair, antique, playful and yet a perfect view for a photo. Jinyoung had found this place on a cold winter day, just like this one. Halfway he notices that it’s snowing, just like the day they had first met.
The young photographer and the singer. A perfect couple you would think and perfect they were. In Jinyoung’s eyes they still are perfect. He remembers how often he had tried to get a good picture from this scene but only with Junghwan in it, did it seem complete. The first time he had seen him practice there, sitting in that chair, staring at the table and drawing patterns on it, Jinyoung had been mesmerized. Without further thinking he had picked up his camera and took a picture, the shutter noise throwing Junghwan out of his concentration. A soft blush, an awkward smile and a light conversation later they were sitting in a café, talking about their life and dreams.
Too soon he arrives at the spot where all his bitter memory lies buried, the snow covering the table, untouched. No patterns drawn there and for a second he loses himself again. With a frustrated yell he throws his camera against the table, brushing the snow of the surface before sitting on that same chair, face buried in his arms and he cries. The snow melts under his butt, soaking his jeans but he doesn’t care, he cries. He cries until a cold hand touches his shoulder. He knows that touch, but it’s impossible. Despite knowing that his imagination is playing a trick on him again he looks up, only to find the impossible smiling down at him.
“Why are you crying?” The young brown haired says, brushing his thumb across his lover’s cheek to wipe away the tears. Jinyoung’s heart does back flips; his mind is confused, out of order with thoughts tumbling over each other.
“You’re… you’re back.” He manages to stutter and Junghwan laughs, flicking his forehead playfully. “Of course I’m back. I said I would come back, didn’t I?” he tilts his head and smiles and Jinyoung almost smiles in return until the snow picks up again and he notices that he’s not real. He isn’t. The snow won’t stay stuck in his hair, like it always did. His shoulders don’t get covered in white. He’s not real.
Junghwan notices the change in expression and he sighs. Cupping his lovers cheeks he leans down to be on the same level as his hyung. “There were bags under your eyes again today. It makes me so sad to see them. I want to make them disappear. Maybe to run my fingers over them and suddenly have them vanish.” And just like that he brushes the tip of his thumbs over the bags under Jinyoung’s red eyes and the elder starts crying again. “I’m sorry. I’m trying… but I just miss you so much.”
A bitter smile greets him and Junghwan opens his mouth to say something but the sun comes out and before he can say anything, the young man vanishes into thin air again. Jinyoung gets up, yells, screams, calls his name and falls to his knees right at the spot where he had been standing, fisting the snow in his hands, almost as if it would bring him back somehow. How many times had he wished to turn back time, stop Junghwan from taking that plane the other day.
‘It was an accident… he was rushing on his way to the airport and crossed the street without looking. His body will be flown back in next Tuesday.’
‘It’s not your fault Jinyoung. He’s always been so carefree and excited. Mother luck just wasn’t on his side.’
‘I’m sure he’s looking down on you from heaven, wanting you to smile and be happy, neh?’
The sun blends him as he squeezes his eyes as he looks up at the sky. He’d rather be up there with him instead of being stuck here on this cold, cold earth. Life wasn’t fair. It never was but no one deserves to have their loved one taken away at such a young age in time.
Pairing/Focus: Jinyoung/Sandeul
Rating: PG 13
Word Count: 1,177
Prompt(s) Used: 2 and 4
Summary: His gaze, constantly on the door, waiting for it to magically swing open, a wide smiling Junghwan stepping in and calling “I’m back! Did you miss me?”
Notes/Warnings: Character death
The cold seems inviting, almost overwhelming, swallowing his thoughts one by one. The heater is turned off. Why waste precious energy when no heat could warm him up inside anyway? ‘Do you know this feeling? When it can be 90° outside but your heart and insides feel cold?’
He remembers those words with a bitter smile on his face. His phone switched closed and open, again and over again before he finally decides to read the text. It says more but those lines where all he had remembered. ‘Omg. You should be here. I miss you so much. Like.. it’s so hot outside but for some reason I still have goosebumbs. Do you know this feeling? When it can be 90° outside but your heart and insides feel cold? It’s because I need your smile to warm me up from inside! My hyung. I miss you so much. I can’t wait to get back. I have to go now. I love you!’
Tears gather in his eyes again. It wasn’t fair. Life was never fair but this seemed below any level of fairness he felt like he deserved. Missing a loved one was never easy but without any hopes of him returning soon, your heart just grows cold. It’s exactly what he’s experiencing right now. The inner coldness. Nothing could warm up his heart, accept for that one smile. The cold didn’t do much as the thoughts kept coming back at him, the hope… His gaze, constantly on the door, waiting for it to magically swing open, a wide smiling Junghwan stepping in and calling “I’m back! Did you miss me?”
“I miss you.” He whispers to himself, gaze still on the door until it starts to blur over. “I miss you so much.”
The night is spent crying again, sleep a far worry in the back of his head.
Morning comes too soon, too unexpected and the light hits him right in the face, red eyes scrunching together in displease. Those eyes, ones to bright and full of expression have become empty and cold. Anyone barely comments him on them again. “You have beautiful eyes.” “Thank you.” It’s another bitter memory, another reason to sigh. A quick thought strikes him. Peaking up at the calendar, he realizes it’s about time again. Still after the second time it hasn’t gotten any easier. Last year, he had promised to Junghwan that he would do his best to smile and life more healthy, make those rings under his eyes disappear. He still felt it wasn’t fair though. How could he move on, when the other was so happy, so far away?
He drags himself into the bathroom, having a quick shower, brushing his teeth. He dresses up for this occasion, just like last year, and before the sun is high in the sky he makes his way to their old favorite place. A small table with a chair, antique, playful and yet a perfect view for a photo. Jinyoung had found this place on a cold winter day, just like this one. Halfway he notices that it’s snowing, just like the day they had first met.
The young photographer and the singer. A perfect couple you would think and perfect they were. In Jinyoung’s eyes they still are perfect. He remembers how often he had tried to get a good picture from this scene but only with Junghwan in it, did it seem complete. The first time he had seen him practice there, sitting in that chair, staring at the table and drawing patterns on it, Jinyoung had been mesmerized. Without further thinking he had picked up his camera and took a picture, the shutter noise throwing Junghwan out of his concentration. A soft blush, an awkward smile and a light conversation later they were sitting in a café, talking about their life and dreams.
Too soon he arrives at the spot where all his bitter memory lies buried, the snow covering the table, untouched. No patterns drawn there and for a second he loses himself again. With a frustrated yell he throws his camera against the table, brushing the snow of the surface before sitting on that same chair, face buried in his arms and he cries. The snow melts under his butt, soaking his jeans but he doesn’t care, he cries. He cries until a cold hand touches his shoulder. He knows that touch, but it’s impossible. Despite knowing that his imagination is playing a trick on him again he looks up, only to find the impossible smiling down at him.
“Why are you crying?” The young brown haired says, brushing his thumb across his lover’s cheek to wipe away the tears. Jinyoung’s heart does back flips; his mind is confused, out of order with thoughts tumbling over each other.
“You’re… you’re back.” He manages to stutter and Junghwan laughs, flicking his forehead playfully. “Of course I’m back. I said I would come back, didn’t I?” he tilts his head and smiles and Jinyoung almost smiles in return until the snow picks up again and he notices that he’s not real. He isn’t. The snow won’t stay stuck in his hair, like it always did. His shoulders don’t get covered in white. He’s not real.
Junghwan notices the change in expression and he sighs. Cupping his lovers cheeks he leans down to be on the same level as his hyung. “There were bags under your eyes again today. It makes me so sad to see them. I want to make them disappear. Maybe to run my fingers over them and suddenly have them vanish.” And just like that he brushes the tip of his thumbs over the bags under Jinyoung’s red eyes and the elder starts crying again. “I’m sorry. I’m trying… but I just miss you so much.”
A bitter smile greets him and Junghwan opens his mouth to say something but the sun comes out and before he can say anything, the young man vanishes into thin air again. Jinyoung gets up, yells, screams, calls his name and falls to his knees right at the spot where he had been standing, fisting the snow in his hands, almost as if it would bring him back somehow. How many times had he wished to turn back time, stop Junghwan from taking that plane the other day.
‘It was an accident… he was rushing on his way to the airport and crossed the street without looking. His body will be flown back in next Tuesday.’
‘It’s not your fault Jinyoung. He’s always been so carefree and excited. Mother luck just wasn’t on his side.’
‘I’m sure he’s looking down on you from heaven, wanting you to smile and be happy, neh?’
The sun blends him as he squeezes his eyes as he looks up at the sky. He’d rather be up there with him instead of being stuck here on this cold, cold earth. Life wasn’t fair. It never was but no one deserves to have their loved one taken away at such a young age in time.