Fic: "You Can't Sing With a Broken Heart" 4/? (Lea/Dianna, RPF)
Title: “You Can’t Sing With a Broken Heart”
Author: Flynn
Pairing: Lea/Dianna (RPF)
Fandom: Glee
Disclaimer: How can they be mine when they belong to each other?
Rating: PG-13
Word Count: Approx. 1915
Notes: How much angst can one relationship take?
Spoilers: None
Summary: Lea’s world is spinning out.
Part I Part II Part III
For weeks I’ve feared that this moment would come. In the moments when my imagination got away from me and my dreams turned to nightmares, I didn’t imagine this. When I tried to prepare and steel myself for the day she told me she was choosing him over me, my imagined reaction vacillated wildly between fiercely strong or insipidly weak. Now that it has come to pass…now that it’s real, I just feel numb.
I am incredibly numb.
I want to shut my eyes against the image that’s burning itself into the further recesses of my mind, but I can’t look away. She’s in his arms, his shirt bunched in her fists…he’s pressing her back against the arm of the couch. The image on my phone begins to move and I realize that I’m shaking. The air conditioning must be what’s making me shiver even though I don’t feel the cold air blowing from the vents.
I can’t feel anything at all.
Pressing the heel of my hand just above my left breast I wonder if my heart is still beating. Is it possible to die from a broken heart? Because I fear that mine has been broken beyond repair.
“Lea?” Cory’s voice breaks through the din of rain drumming on the car’s roof. I’d forgotten that he was a disembodied witness to my heartbreak. “I’m pulling up in front of your home right now.”
Home. It’ll never feel like home again. Not without Di. Home is the physical manifestation of how much a part of my life she has become. Her scent clings to everything, the sheets, the towels, my clothes where hers hang next to mine. Her grandmother’s cookbook is open on the kitchen counter. Her cheesy dvds and trashy romance novels sit next to mine on the bookshelves. She was everything to me…now…now she can’t be anything at all.
Another level of reality sinks in. Even in the face of her betrayal, I know that I’m still in love with her, but I can’t forgive her for lying to me…for cheating with him.
In the distance I hear a door slam. A second later it’s the sound of brass striking a metal plate that echoes in the car. “Lea, open up.”
“Not there.” I whisper quietly. It’s never felt quite so hard to speak. My tongue feels thick and my lips don’t want to move.
“What? I didn’t get that.”
“I’m not there. I’m -“
Cory cuts me off. “Lea, are you at Mark’s? Shit.” I hear the repeating slap of rubber against asphalt. “Don’t do any -…just sit tight. I’ll be there in five minutes.”
I start to reply but I catch motion out of the corner of my eye. The front door opens and my jaw slams shut with an audible and painful click. My view is partially masked by the dark and further obscured by the rain that continues to fall on the windshield.
Dianna is leaving. She tugs her sweater closer around her. I can’t be certain, but she looks upset. Or maybe that’s just wishful thinking on my part.
My fight or flight instinct kicks in and I’m torn between slumping down in my seat to stay out of sight and leaving the safe confines of my car and confronting them. The pull towards the former is stronger until mark runs out after her, grabs her and wrenches her body against his.
Until I see Dianna trying to extricate herself from his grasp. I don’t take my eyes off of the tableau unfolding before me as I exit the car. She frees her right arm and slaps him across the face. Even in the dark, I see the shift in his body language. He’s pissed.
Adrenaline and fear for her safety spur my instincts to protect her. I stumble out of the car and rush across the lawn. “Leave her alone!”
I’m smaller than him, but he isn’t expecting me and I crash into him with enough force to knock him on his ass. I manage to stay on my feet and circle back toward Dianna.
“Lea?”
“What the hell?”
They yell simultaneously.
He gets to his feet and I position myself in front of Dianna. “You don’t touch her.”
An ugly smirk mars his features. “You don’t get to decide who touches her anymore.” His eyes drift up over my head and he extends a hand toward Dianna. “Come on baby.”
Her hand circles my arm and I barely resist the urge to shake off the unwelcome touch. “I want to go home. Can we just go home?” Dianna’s voice is small, her grip on my arm tightening painfully.
Mark shakes his head and takes a step closer to us. “D, come back in. Let’s finish what we started.”
Finish? She didn’t sleep with him. She didn’t sleep with him. My inner 16-year old is jumping up and down. I feel a small measure of relief loosen the band wrapped around my heart.
“Nothing happened.” She tugs at my arm until I turn and meet her gaze. “Nothing happened.” I can’t believe she’s looking me in the eye and lying through her teeth.
It inflames me and for a short moment the rest of the world fades away. Lightning flashes in the distance. “Don’t. Don’t try to convince me that you weren’t just making out with him on his couch.” I lift my chin in a challenge. I silently dare her to try.
“No. Lea…no, it wasn’t like that.” Tears or rain, I can’t tell which or if it’s both carrying streak mascara down her cheeks.
“Bullshit.” He’s sneering at her. I can hear it in his voice.
I whirl towards him, my hand in a fist around my phone. I am perversely satisfied to see him take a step back. “Shut up!”
Turning back to my girlfr-…to Dianna I confront her. “I saw you, Di. I saw you kissing him.” I thrust the phone into her hand. I can’t fully decipher all the emotions flashing across her face as she stares at the still image.
“Mark, you taped us?” Anger like I’ve never seen flares in her eyes. Her hands clench and unclench at her sides.
“No! No. Your crazy girlfriend must have been stalking you and took that photo through the front window.” He slowly backs toward his front door as Dianna stalks toward him.
“He’s right. That’s exactly how it happened. I stalked you, got a super clear shot of the two of you through your closed blinds, and attached it to a text message to myself and waited for you to come out so I could catch you read-handed.” My speech comes out in a Rachel Berry rush.
Dianna doesn’t break stride. “With the way you’ve been acting, I wouldn’t put it past you, Lea. But, I know better. Now you need to have faith when I tell you that this isn’t what it looks like.”
I’m stunned that she has the hutzpa to try and turn anything around on me. “You cheat on me and have the nerve to call me paranoid?” I dash the tears off my cheeks as I turn to take a step. “Fuck you, Di. Fuck you.” Between the tears and the rain clouding my vision, I don’t see Cory until I slam into his solid frame.
“I’ve got you.” He wraps me into a much needed hug. He tilts my face up and I blink against the rain. “It isn’t what it looks like.”
“Why do you both keep saying that?” I feel like I’m losing my mind.
Cory places his hands on my shoulders and turns me back around. Mark stands spread eagle in his doorway. “Look at him, Lea. He’s nervous. If he seduced he’d look triumphant..”
For the first time since the photo of Dianna in his arms flashed on my phone, I feel like I can see clearly. Cory is right. Mark is anxious. And Dianna is furious.
He grabs her as she tries to push her way past him and inside his home. “I want the recording, Mark.”
His eyes shift between all of us. He tries to laugh it off, but his just isn’t that good of an actor. “I don’t know what you’re talking about. Lea is nuts.”
“Give it up, Mark” Cory’s voice echoes from behind me. “I know what’s going on. You must have sent the picture out to a list, not just to Lea. I happened to be with Naya when it hit my phone. And hers. She’s pissed.”
Surprise etches across his face. The way he sags into the door frame reminds me of the air being let out of a balloon. Cory and I quickly follow Dianna past him and into his living room. She’s standing beside the couch and looking back across the room. She moves across the room, looks down at my phone, up at the couch and down at my phone again.
Dianna laughs bitterly. “I should have known.” She moves a large book on the middle shelf, reaches behind it and pulls out a small camcorder. “I’ve never seen you read anything.”
I’m too stunned by the turn of events to fully understand what’s happening. I watch as she pulls the sim card from the device, places it in my hand and folds my fingers over it. “This will prove it. Nothing happened. He tried, but I shut it down.”
She hands the camcorder to Cory and my phone back to me. I get a tentative smile from her. “Lea, I’m so sorry. I screwed up.” I can’t find any words. My mind feels like it’s stopped working. She takes my silence for absolution and reaches for my hand.
I let her and lace our fingers together. She falls into step behind me as we exit and head towards her car. With the rain, the rapid beating of my own heart, and Mark yelling at Cory the cacophony of noise is almost enough to make me want to bury my face into the warmth that is Dianna.
Almost. I find myself resisting when she tries to pull me into an embrace.
“Baby, please. Let’s just go home and we can talk. We’ll talk about everything. Okay? Can we please go home?” She’s asks, but the tears in her eyes tell me she suspects the answer.
I bring her hand up to my lips and brush my lips over her knuckles. I linger and inhale, taking a few more seconds to memorize the taste, the smell, and the feel of her. I want to feel relief. I want to take her in my arms and tell her all is forgiven…even though it isn’t.
“I can’t…” The lump in my throat makes it painful to speak. “Too much has happened. I can’t trust you.”
Her hands frame my face and she pulls me forward until our foreheads are touching. “Nothing happened. You have to believe me, Lea.”
I nod. “I know that you didn’t sleep with him. I believe you. I do.”
“Then let me come home.” She kisses me. It’s short and hard. “I love you.”
I’m in agony. I pull away from her and break all physical connection. “I can’t…I can’t…Loving you…it hurts too much.” I haven’t been able to look her in the eye. But I know I have to now. “Di…It’s over.”
Her sob mirrors my own as I walk away in the rain.
Author: Flynn
Pairing: Lea/Dianna (RPF)
Fandom: Glee
Disclaimer: How can they be mine when they belong to each other?
Rating: PG-13
Word Count: Approx. 1915
Notes: How much angst can one relationship take?
Spoilers: None
Summary: Lea’s world is spinning out.
Part I Part II Part III
For weeks I’ve feared that this moment would come. In the moments when my imagination got away from me and my dreams turned to nightmares, I didn’t imagine this. When I tried to prepare and steel myself for the day she told me she was choosing him over me, my imagined reaction vacillated wildly between fiercely strong or insipidly weak. Now that it has come to pass…now that it’s real, I just feel numb.
I am incredibly numb.
I want to shut my eyes against the image that’s burning itself into the further recesses of my mind, but I can’t look away. She’s in his arms, his shirt bunched in her fists…he’s pressing her back against the arm of the couch. The image on my phone begins to move and I realize that I’m shaking. The air conditioning must be what’s making me shiver even though I don’t feel the cold air blowing from the vents.
I can’t feel anything at all.
Pressing the heel of my hand just above my left breast I wonder if my heart is still beating. Is it possible to die from a broken heart? Because I fear that mine has been broken beyond repair.
“Lea?” Cory’s voice breaks through the din of rain drumming on the car’s roof. I’d forgotten that he was a disembodied witness to my heartbreak. “I’m pulling up in front of your home right now.”
Home. It’ll never feel like home again. Not without Di. Home is the physical manifestation of how much a part of my life she has become. Her scent clings to everything, the sheets, the towels, my clothes where hers hang next to mine. Her grandmother’s cookbook is open on the kitchen counter. Her cheesy dvds and trashy romance novels sit next to mine on the bookshelves. She was everything to me…now…now she can’t be anything at all.
Another level of reality sinks in. Even in the face of her betrayal, I know that I’m still in love with her, but I can’t forgive her for lying to me…for cheating with him.
In the distance I hear a door slam. A second later it’s the sound of brass striking a metal plate that echoes in the car. “Lea, open up.”
“Not there.” I whisper quietly. It’s never felt quite so hard to speak. My tongue feels thick and my lips don’t want to move.
“What? I didn’t get that.”
“I’m not there. I’m -“
Cory cuts me off. “Lea, are you at Mark’s? Shit.” I hear the repeating slap of rubber against asphalt. “Don’t do any -…just sit tight. I’ll be there in five minutes.”
I start to reply but I catch motion out of the corner of my eye. The front door opens and my jaw slams shut with an audible and painful click. My view is partially masked by the dark and further obscured by the rain that continues to fall on the windshield.
Dianna is leaving. She tugs her sweater closer around her. I can’t be certain, but she looks upset. Or maybe that’s just wishful thinking on my part.
My fight or flight instinct kicks in and I’m torn between slumping down in my seat to stay out of sight and leaving the safe confines of my car and confronting them. The pull towards the former is stronger until mark runs out after her, grabs her and wrenches her body against his.
Until I see Dianna trying to extricate herself from his grasp. I don’t take my eyes off of the tableau unfolding before me as I exit the car. She frees her right arm and slaps him across the face. Even in the dark, I see the shift in his body language. He’s pissed.
Adrenaline and fear for her safety spur my instincts to protect her. I stumble out of the car and rush across the lawn. “Leave her alone!”
I’m smaller than him, but he isn’t expecting me and I crash into him with enough force to knock him on his ass. I manage to stay on my feet and circle back toward Dianna.
“Lea?”
“What the hell?”
They yell simultaneously.
He gets to his feet and I position myself in front of Dianna. “You don’t touch her.”
An ugly smirk mars his features. “You don’t get to decide who touches her anymore.” His eyes drift up over my head and he extends a hand toward Dianna. “Come on baby.”
Her hand circles my arm and I barely resist the urge to shake off the unwelcome touch. “I want to go home. Can we just go home?” Dianna’s voice is small, her grip on my arm tightening painfully.
Mark shakes his head and takes a step closer to us. “D, come back in. Let’s finish what we started.”
Finish? She didn’t sleep with him. She didn’t sleep with him. My inner 16-year old is jumping up and down. I feel a small measure of relief loosen the band wrapped around my heart.
“Nothing happened.” She tugs at my arm until I turn and meet her gaze. “Nothing happened.” I can’t believe she’s looking me in the eye and lying through her teeth.
It inflames me and for a short moment the rest of the world fades away. Lightning flashes in the distance. “Don’t. Don’t try to convince me that you weren’t just making out with him on his couch.” I lift my chin in a challenge. I silently dare her to try.
“No. Lea…no, it wasn’t like that.” Tears or rain, I can’t tell which or if it’s both carrying streak mascara down her cheeks.
“Bullshit.” He’s sneering at her. I can hear it in his voice.
I whirl towards him, my hand in a fist around my phone. I am perversely satisfied to see him take a step back. “Shut up!”
Turning back to my girlfr-…to Dianna I confront her. “I saw you, Di. I saw you kissing him.” I thrust the phone into her hand. I can’t fully decipher all the emotions flashing across her face as she stares at the still image.
“Mark, you taped us?” Anger like I’ve never seen flares in her eyes. Her hands clench and unclench at her sides.
“No! No. Your crazy girlfriend must have been stalking you and took that photo through the front window.” He slowly backs toward his front door as Dianna stalks toward him.
“He’s right. That’s exactly how it happened. I stalked you, got a super clear shot of the two of you through your closed blinds, and attached it to a text message to myself and waited for you to come out so I could catch you read-handed.” My speech comes out in a Rachel Berry rush.
Dianna doesn’t break stride. “With the way you’ve been acting, I wouldn’t put it past you, Lea. But, I know better. Now you need to have faith when I tell you that this isn’t what it looks like.”
I’m stunned that she has the hutzpa to try and turn anything around on me. “You cheat on me and have the nerve to call me paranoid?” I dash the tears off my cheeks as I turn to take a step. “Fuck you, Di. Fuck you.” Between the tears and the rain clouding my vision, I don’t see Cory until I slam into his solid frame.
“I’ve got you.” He wraps me into a much needed hug. He tilts my face up and I blink against the rain. “It isn’t what it looks like.”
“Why do you both keep saying that?” I feel like I’m losing my mind.
Cory places his hands on my shoulders and turns me back around. Mark stands spread eagle in his doorway. “Look at him, Lea. He’s nervous. If he seduced he’d look triumphant..”
For the first time since the photo of Dianna in his arms flashed on my phone, I feel like I can see clearly. Cory is right. Mark is anxious. And Dianna is furious.
He grabs her as she tries to push her way past him and inside his home. “I want the recording, Mark.”
His eyes shift between all of us. He tries to laugh it off, but his just isn’t that good of an actor. “I don’t know what you’re talking about. Lea is nuts.”
“Give it up, Mark” Cory’s voice echoes from behind me. “I know what’s going on. You must have sent the picture out to a list, not just to Lea. I happened to be with Naya when it hit my phone. And hers. She’s pissed.”
Surprise etches across his face. The way he sags into the door frame reminds me of the air being let out of a balloon. Cory and I quickly follow Dianna past him and into his living room. She’s standing beside the couch and looking back across the room. She moves across the room, looks down at my phone, up at the couch and down at my phone again.
Dianna laughs bitterly. “I should have known.” She moves a large book on the middle shelf, reaches behind it and pulls out a small camcorder. “I’ve never seen you read anything.”
I’m too stunned by the turn of events to fully understand what’s happening. I watch as she pulls the sim card from the device, places it in my hand and folds my fingers over it. “This will prove it. Nothing happened. He tried, but I shut it down.”
She hands the camcorder to Cory and my phone back to me. I get a tentative smile from her. “Lea, I’m so sorry. I screwed up.” I can’t find any words. My mind feels like it’s stopped working. She takes my silence for absolution and reaches for my hand.
I let her and lace our fingers together. She falls into step behind me as we exit and head towards her car. With the rain, the rapid beating of my own heart, and Mark yelling at Cory the cacophony of noise is almost enough to make me want to bury my face into the warmth that is Dianna.
Almost. I find myself resisting when she tries to pull me into an embrace.
“Baby, please. Let’s just go home and we can talk. We’ll talk about everything. Okay? Can we please go home?” She’s asks, but the tears in her eyes tell me she suspects the answer.
I bring her hand up to my lips and brush my lips over her knuckles. I linger and inhale, taking a few more seconds to memorize the taste, the smell, and the feel of her. I want to feel relief. I want to take her in my arms and tell her all is forgiven…even though it isn’t.
“I can’t…” The lump in my throat makes it painful to speak. “Too much has happened. I can’t trust you.”
Her hands frame my face and she pulls me forward until our foreheads are touching. “Nothing happened. You have to believe me, Lea.”
I nod. “I know that you didn’t sleep with him. I believe you. I do.”
“Then let me come home.” She kisses me. It’s short and hard. “I love you.”
I’m in agony. I pull away from her and break all physical connection. “I can’t…I can’t…Loving you…it hurts too much.” I haven’t been able to look her in the eye. But I know I have to now. “Di…It’s over.”
Her sob mirrors my own as I walk away in the rain.