Kurt/Blaine: Five Awkward Encounters and One Totally Awesome One 2/4 (R)
Title: Five Awkward Encounters and One Totally Awesome One: 2/4
Pairings/Characters: Kurt/Blaine
Rating: R (this part)
Word Count: 2821
Spoilers: Up through "Original Song"
Warnings: Discussion about sex
Summary: Kurt and Blaine can't seem to catch a break, because everyone seems to have decided to make their day as awkward as possible.
Notes: This is Part Two of a three part series. Another appropriate title could be "Worst Day Ever." Part of the (Mis)Adventures of Teenage Boys 'verse. Takes place after Punishment.
Kurt plopped down at the lunch table across from Mercedes, and it took all of two seconds for her to send a concerned look in his direction. He had been trying to outwardly project the awfulness of his mood with an intentionally dramatic sigh and the deadest eyes he could conjure, after all, and Mercedes was always good at picking up on his shifts in temperament.
"What's wrong?" she asked, setting her fork down and giving him her full attention.
"My patience is being severely tested today," he informed her, spearing a forkful of salad with far more force than necessary before shoving it into his mouth. Ever since Santana and Brittany had propositioned and thoroughly eye-fucked him and Blaine after first period, Kurt just hadn't been able to shake the feeling of severe discomfort. It had almost been traumatic enough to make him forget about Finn's awkward babbling in the car. Almost.
"You want to talk about it?"
"No!" Blaine barked, butting in as he sat down next to Kurt. Immediately, he slid over until their thighs and arms touched, prompting Kurt to smile despite himself.
"Okay, spill it, boys." Mercedes grinned at them, ready to receive what she had clearly decided was going to be particularly juicy gossip.
"Well, first, Finn tried to have a sex talk with me on the way to school," Kurt started.
"I'm sure that was special and not at all awkward."
"Completely," Kurt replied dryly, "And then, Brit-"
"Kurt! Don't tell her!" Blaine said, flushing embarrassedly. Kurt turned slowly, raising an eyebrow impossibly high at his boyfriend as he swiveled on the seat. The same boy who had absolutely no shame or qualms about begging to be sucked off when tied to his headboard or dressing up as a police officer hell bent on arresting Kurt for 'being too sexy' didn't want Kurt to tell his best friend about their awkward encounter with McKinley's power lesbian couple?
"Oh my lord, just tell me." Mercedes rolled her eyes and stabbed a chicken nugget with her fork.
"Either I tell her now or I call her later and tell her," Kurt shrugged. Blaine sighed and made a flippant gesture with his hand as if to say "If you must, you a-hole" and Kurt continued. "We were walking down the hallway and Brittany and Santana stopped us. They asked if we wanted to play with them."
"Play?"
"The naked kind of play," Blaine clarified via direct Santana quote, something that Kurt was pretty sure had never happened and would never happen again. Mercedes' eyes flew open wide and she just gaped at them for a moment before erupting into laughter so loud, Kurt was pretty sure their old classmates at Dalton would be able to hear her. "It's not funny."
"It's kind of funny," she managed, still giggling as she wiped at the corners of her eyes and heaved some deep breaths to get herself under control, "They want a foursome with you two?"
"No, they just want to watch us have sex. Honestly, I would be less horrified if they did want a foursome," Kurt said, shuddering lightly before eating another bite.
"I mean, can you imagine that? Actually wanting to sit right there and watch another couple have sex?" Blaine asked, shaking his head and taking a rather huge bite of his chicken sandwich, "I mean, what were they planning to do? Bring popcorn?"
"Chew before you talk, honey," Kurt said. Blaine rolled his eyes and swallowed down his bite. God he was cute when he furrowed those amazingly huge eyebrows of his.
"I'm sorry. I'm so disturbed I'm losing all sense of decorum."
"Isn't that what porn is?" Mercedes asked, ignoring their side conversation and getting back to the point.
"Yeah, but it's not people you know," Blaine said, "And what do two lesbians want to watch us for? I certainly don't want to watch them." He looked a little green and Kurt made an 'Oh, you poor baby' face while rubbing his thigh. And he almost definitely hadn't intended for his hand to slowly rub higher and higher until Blaine actually slid a few inches away. Clearly, his little incident in the bathroom with Mr. Schue the day before had been traumatic enough for him to shy away from Kurt's touches for, well, pretty much the first time ever.
"Though they offered to let us," Kurt finally added, feeling himself start to relax for the first time since stepping inside the building that day.
Talking about it with Mercedes, who was able to see the hilarity of the situation, was helping. Now if only they could trust that she would keep her mouth shut about the whole thing. She didn't exactly have the greatest track record about keeping secrets, though, so Kurt didn't have high hopes. They finished their lunches discussing far more demure topics, and as they tried to leave the cafeteria, Miss Pillsbury stepped out in front of them.
"Boys, I need to see you in my office," she said, hands brushing nervously at the sides of her impeccable jade pencil skirt.
"I'll see you guys in Glee," Mercedes said, escaping and sending a sympathetic look over her shoulder just before she disappeared around the corner.
"But, we have class," Kurt said, trying to step around the obviously nervous guidance counselor. She countered his movement surprisingly easily in her sky high Michael Kors pumps, again blocking their path.
"I'll write you a pass." Her big brown eyes were staring pointedly at them, and Kurt and Blaine shared a nervous look before following her to her office.
Two minutes later, they were seated across from Miss Pillsbury's freakishly organized desk. Kurt was tidy, but even he got the urge to flick something out of place when she wasn't looking. It was just too organized, and it never failed to inflame his inner and oft-ignored rebellious streak. Well, ignored outside of the bedroom, that was.
"What did you need to talk to us about, Miss Pillsbury?" Kurt asked politely, actually grabbing onto the arm of his chair to keep himself from pushing her stapler askew.
"Mr. Schuester came and talked to me after your Glee rehearsal yesterday," she said.
"About what?" Kurt was trying really hard to pretend like he had no idea what she was referring to, but the nervous quavering of his voice was surely giving him away.
"I think you know what, Kurt. The songs that you two sang were incredibly inappropriate, and he wanted me to talk to you about-"
"We were supposed to sing our feelings. The song I sang repeatedly stated 'I love you,' and that's how I feel about Blaine," Kurt said, thinking quick on his feet. The hyperactive monkey that had taken up residence in his chest, flinging itself around inside his rib cage needed a healthy dose of Adderall.
"Kurt, you sang a very... sexual Barry White song, and Blaine-"
"I was just doing the assignment," Blaine blurted, "And I sang it because of the lyrics 'You're the sun who makes me shine. When you're around, I'm always laughing.'"
"You sang "I Touch Myself," Blaine," Miss Pillsbury stated, her cheeks redder than Kurt had ever seen them, "I think everyone knew why you were really singing it." Kurt didn't know whether to laugh at her obvious discomfort or to run screaming from the room.
"Are we in trouble?" Blaine asked, sounding more terrified than he had the first time Kurt had come at him with a pair of handcuffs.
"I mean, it's not like this was the first time an inappropriate song has been sung in there. Not by a long shot," Kurt added.
"You're not in trouble. Mr. Schuester just wanted to make sure that you two are being mature about your, um, relations." Kurt forcibly rubbed a hand across his forehead. Was this seriously happening?
"We are. Very, very mature. Yesterday was just..." Kurt trailed off, literally unable to finish. What was he supposed to tell her? That he was punishing Blaine for having verbal diarrhea in Glee rehearsal and then failing to follow his orders whilst making hideous and smelly football pads look sexier than Kurt could have imagined in his wildest, mind-bendingly steamy dreams?
"A lapse in judgment," Blaine finished for him. Kurt nodded emphatically.
"A lapse in judgment," Kurt repeated, hoping that she would just let them leave. The AP Government class he was missing was suddenly sounding more enticing than the Annual Sound of Music Sing-a-long.
"Boys, being intimate is something that should be personal and kept between the two of you. Being flashy about it only shows immaturity. Sex is a big deal, and-"
"We know, Miss P. It'll never happen again," Kurt interrupted. He would offer to tap dance naked through the mall if it would get her to stop the lecture.
"Excellent. You know, the Celibacy Club meets on Wednesdays after school," she said.
"Oh, no. The, uh, the intimate stuff is definitely happening again," Kurt stammered, earning an sharply placed elbow from Blaine
"But we won't bring it into Glee club. Again. Ever," Blaine said emphatically before lowering his voice, "You're not going to call my dad, are you?"
"No! Again, you aren't in trouble. Mr. Schuester and I just wanted to talk to you before it became something that could get you in trouble. If you ever need to talk about anything, I'm always here. And I want you to take some pamphlets," she said, holding out a sizable stack of the things that Kurt had learned to fear and loathe above all other items in the world after the heinously awkward sex talk he'd had with his dad the previous spring. Blaine nodded politely and snatched them from her hand. Kurt peeked down to see that the top one was titled "Help! My Boyfriend Wants to Touch Me Down There!"
"Thank you for your time, Miss Pillsbury," Blaine said, obviously having relocated his manners on the way to her office. She nodded, looking as relieved to have the talk finished as they were, and handed them two hall passes. They practically dashed into the hallway, shutting the glass door behind them. Once they were a few feet away and out of her line of sight, Blaine crumpled against the wall, slowly crushing the pamphlets to death in his palm.
"What the hell is going on today?" he asked, "I've never been sent to a counselor in my life. This is ridiculous!" Kurt felt his stomach seize up, and he latched onto Blaine's arm as panic spread hot and hysterical through his veins.
"Please don't break up with me," he begged, "I'm really sorry about yesterday. I never should have done that and-"
"Break up with you? Are you kidding me? You're the only thing keeping me sane at this school. I mean you drive me totally crazy in a good way, but yeah, this place is nuts."
"Oh thank god," Kurt said, dropping against the lockers beside his boyfriend, "I mean, thank god you aren't upset with me. But, I'm sorry that you don't like it here."
"I didn't say that. It's just so different. I was always so poised at school, doing exactly what I was supposed to do. But with you, I get so relaxed and I'm so happy that sometimes all of that just goes out the window. All I could think about after I got back from the bathroom yesterday was that I wanted to sing just as sexy of a song to get you back so you would punish me again. You have completely turned my world upside down, Kurt Hummel, and I love you for it. You might be the death of me, but I love you."
"I love you, too," Kurt said, giving Blaine a lingering kiss, "Now get to class. Finn's going to have enough questions about why you're late already."
"What should I tell him?"
"That it's none of his business," Kurt stated matter-of-factly as they started down the hall together.
"Don't you think that'll make him even more suspicious?"
"Yes, I do," Kurt grinned, stopping outside of his classroom, "I'll see you in Glee."
"At least we know the day can't get any worse than this," Blaine said, intending to be encouraging, but the look of complacency on Kurt's face morphed into one of rage in seconds, "What?"
"Why would you say that?"
"Say what?"
"You just jinxed us!"
"Tell me you don't actually believe in that." Blaine smiled, shaking his head.
"I didn't, but after the insanity that today has been, I'm not ruling anything out," Kurt said, pinching the bridge of his nose and taking a few deep breaths to steady himself, "If anything else weird happens today, it's your fault."
"Yeah? And what are you going to do about it?" Blaine raised his eyebrows slightly and darted out his tongue to lick at his bottom lip. Kurt had to use every ounce of his already feeble self-restraint to keep from throwing his boyfriend against the lockers and having his way with him. But then he remembered something important.
"Absolutely nothing. You enjoyed your last punishment too much. So now, your punishment will be the cold shoulder. Prepare yourself for my icy wrath," Kurt said before spinning on his heels and heading into the classroom leaving Blaine grasping at verbal straws in the middle of the hall.
By the time rehearsal rolled around that afternoon, Kurt had allowed himself to fully shift into an academic mindset. Well, he more had to force himself since all of his classes were tremendously boring, but he'd managed to make it happen and that was the important part. Blaine was waiting for him outside the room, and they entered hand-in-hand. Almost as soon as they'd stepped over the threshold, however, they stopped. Three things were not right about the situation they'd just stepped into: Brittany and Santana had taken over the chairs that the boys usually occupied in the back row, Mr. Schuester was sitting on a stool in front of the group with a serious look on his face, and every single pair of eyes in the room had turned to them as soon as they'd walked in.
"Kurt, Blaine, come take a seat," Mr. Schuester said.
"There are plenty of seats back here," Santana said just before she and Brittany each patted the empty chair next to them. Mercedes snorted as she bit back a laugh, and Kurt and Blaine went to occupy the two empty seats beside her.
"I think that we need to have a discussion about song choices in this group," Mr. Schuester said somberly.
"Thank god. Can we please put an end to any song made famous by anything even remotely resembling a Steve Perry fronted band?" Kurt suggested.
"Not exactly what I'm talking about, Kurt," Mr. Schue said, prompting Kurt to shrink back into his seat, "Now, ever since this group first started, we've been overstepping boundaries. I'm as much to blame for this as any one of you, but it needs to stop. This is a school group. We are representing McKinley High, and we need to adhere to the school's rules and code of conduct."
"If this is about yesterday, we're... we're really sorry," Blaine interrupted.
"Yesterday made me realize how much I've been putting off this conversation with you all. I don't want to squash your creativity, but we have got to keep things cleaner in this room."
"I liked their songs, Mr. Schue," Santana cooed from the back row.
"Me, too," Brittany added. Kurt gave Mercedes a preemptive glare before she even had the chance to start laughing.
"I think I got pregnant just from listening to them," Lauren said.
"Me, too," Artie laughed, the rest of the class--sans Kurt and Blaine--joining him.
"It's not just about yesterday," Mr. Schuester said, "Yesterday just made me realize how much I've been putting this off. We're not going to discuss it any more. From now on, all song choices have to be cleared by me before you sing them for the class. If you deviate, then you're buying yourself a ticket to Principal Figgins' office."
"Thanks a lot, Hummel," Puck grumbled from the other side of the room.
"As if rules have ever stopped you before," Rachel spat back at him.
"Fair enough," Puck agreed, shrugging and relaxing back into his seat.
"Now that we've established some ground rules, it's time to let Finn sing the song he's prepared this week," Mr. Schuester said.
"You are so getting the silent treatment," Kurt whispered to his boyfriend through gritted teeth.
"We can make it through the rest of the day," Blaine whispered back, clearly loving the exasperated look on Kurt's face, "Courage, babe." Kurt set his demeanor to Icy Wrath, and begrudgingly turned his attention to his step-brother at the front of the room.
He'd warned Blaine. He really had.
Part Three
Master Fic List
Pairings/Characters: Kurt/Blaine
Rating: R (this part)
Word Count: 2821
Spoilers: Up through "Original Song"
Warnings: Discussion about sex
Summary: Kurt and Blaine can't seem to catch a break, because everyone seems to have decided to make their day as awkward as possible.
Notes: This is Part Two of a three part series. Another appropriate title could be "Worst Day Ever." Part of the (Mis)Adventures of Teenage Boys 'verse. Takes place after Punishment.
Kurt plopped down at the lunch table across from Mercedes, and it took all of two seconds for her to send a concerned look in his direction. He had been trying to outwardly project the awfulness of his mood with an intentionally dramatic sigh and the deadest eyes he could conjure, after all, and Mercedes was always good at picking up on his shifts in temperament.
"What's wrong?" she asked, setting her fork down and giving him her full attention.
"My patience is being severely tested today," he informed her, spearing a forkful of salad with far more force than necessary before shoving it into his mouth. Ever since Santana and Brittany had propositioned and thoroughly eye-fucked him and Blaine after first period, Kurt just hadn't been able to shake the feeling of severe discomfort. It had almost been traumatic enough to make him forget about Finn's awkward babbling in the car. Almost.
"You want to talk about it?"
"No!" Blaine barked, butting in as he sat down next to Kurt. Immediately, he slid over until their thighs and arms touched, prompting Kurt to smile despite himself.
"Okay, spill it, boys." Mercedes grinned at them, ready to receive what she had clearly decided was going to be particularly juicy gossip.
"Well, first, Finn tried to have a sex talk with me on the way to school," Kurt started.
"I'm sure that was special and not at all awkward."
"Completely," Kurt replied dryly, "And then, Brit-"
"Kurt! Don't tell her!" Blaine said, flushing embarrassedly. Kurt turned slowly, raising an eyebrow impossibly high at his boyfriend as he swiveled on the seat. The same boy who had absolutely no shame or qualms about begging to be sucked off when tied to his headboard or dressing up as a police officer hell bent on arresting Kurt for 'being too sexy' didn't want Kurt to tell his best friend about their awkward encounter with McKinley's power lesbian couple?
"Oh my lord, just tell me." Mercedes rolled her eyes and stabbed a chicken nugget with her fork.
"Either I tell her now or I call her later and tell her," Kurt shrugged. Blaine sighed and made a flippant gesture with his hand as if to say "If you must, you a-hole" and Kurt continued. "We were walking down the hallway and Brittany and Santana stopped us. They asked if we wanted to play with them."
"Play?"
"The naked kind of play," Blaine clarified via direct Santana quote, something that Kurt was pretty sure had never happened and would never happen again. Mercedes' eyes flew open wide and she just gaped at them for a moment before erupting into laughter so loud, Kurt was pretty sure their old classmates at Dalton would be able to hear her. "It's not funny."
"It's kind of funny," she managed, still giggling as she wiped at the corners of her eyes and heaved some deep breaths to get herself under control, "They want a foursome with you two?"
"No, they just want to watch us have sex. Honestly, I would be less horrified if they did want a foursome," Kurt said, shuddering lightly before eating another bite.
"I mean, can you imagine that? Actually wanting to sit right there and watch another couple have sex?" Blaine asked, shaking his head and taking a rather huge bite of his chicken sandwich, "I mean, what were they planning to do? Bring popcorn?"
"Chew before you talk, honey," Kurt said. Blaine rolled his eyes and swallowed down his bite. God he was cute when he furrowed those amazingly huge eyebrows of his.
"I'm sorry. I'm so disturbed I'm losing all sense of decorum."
"Isn't that what porn is?" Mercedes asked, ignoring their side conversation and getting back to the point.
"Yeah, but it's not people you know," Blaine said, "And what do two lesbians want to watch us for? I certainly don't want to watch them." He looked a little green and Kurt made an 'Oh, you poor baby' face while rubbing his thigh. And he almost definitely hadn't intended for his hand to slowly rub higher and higher until Blaine actually slid a few inches away. Clearly, his little incident in the bathroom with Mr. Schue the day before had been traumatic enough for him to shy away from Kurt's touches for, well, pretty much the first time ever.
"Though they offered to let us," Kurt finally added, feeling himself start to relax for the first time since stepping inside the building that day.
Talking about it with Mercedes, who was able to see the hilarity of the situation, was helping. Now if only they could trust that she would keep her mouth shut about the whole thing. She didn't exactly have the greatest track record about keeping secrets, though, so Kurt didn't have high hopes. They finished their lunches discussing far more demure topics, and as they tried to leave the cafeteria, Miss Pillsbury stepped out in front of them.
"Boys, I need to see you in my office," she said, hands brushing nervously at the sides of her impeccable jade pencil skirt.
"I'll see you guys in Glee," Mercedes said, escaping and sending a sympathetic look over her shoulder just before she disappeared around the corner.
"But, we have class," Kurt said, trying to step around the obviously nervous guidance counselor. She countered his movement surprisingly easily in her sky high Michael Kors pumps, again blocking their path.
"I'll write you a pass." Her big brown eyes were staring pointedly at them, and Kurt and Blaine shared a nervous look before following her to her office.
Two minutes later, they were seated across from Miss Pillsbury's freakishly organized desk. Kurt was tidy, but even he got the urge to flick something out of place when she wasn't looking. It was just too organized, and it never failed to inflame his inner and oft-ignored rebellious streak. Well, ignored outside of the bedroom, that was.
"What did you need to talk to us about, Miss Pillsbury?" Kurt asked politely, actually grabbing onto the arm of his chair to keep himself from pushing her stapler askew.
"Mr. Schuester came and talked to me after your Glee rehearsal yesterday," she said.
"About what?" Kurt was trying really hard to pretend like he had no idea what she was referring to, but the nervous quavering of his voice was surely giving him away.
"I think you know what, Kurt. The songs that you two sang were incredibly inappropriate, and he wanted me to talk to you about-"
"We were supposed to sing our feelings. The song I sang repeatedly stated 'I love you,' and that's how I feel about Blaine," Kurt said, thinking quick on his feet. The hyperactive monkey that had taken up residence in his chest, flinging itself around inside his rib cage needed a healthy dose of Adderall.
"Kurt, you sang a very... sexual Barry White song, and Blaine-"
"I was just doing the assignment," Blaine blurted, "And I sang it because of the lyrics 'You're the sun who makes me shine. When you're around, I'm always laughing.'"
"You sang "I Touch Myself," Blaine," Miss Pillsbury stated, her cheeks redder than Kurt had ever seen them, "I think everyone knew why you were really singing it." Kurt didn't know whether to laugh at her obvious discomfort or to run screaming from the room.
"Are we in trouble?" Blaine asked, sounding more terrified than he had the first time Kurt had come at him with a pair of handcuffs.
"I mean, it's not like this was the first time an inappropriate song has been sung in there. Not by a long shot," Kurt added.
"You're not in trouble. Mr. Schuester just wanted to make sure that you two are being mature about your, um, relations." Kurt forcibly rubbed a hand across his forehead. Was this seriously happening?
"We are. Very, very mature. Yesterday was just..." Kurt trailed off, literally unable to finish. What was he supposed to tell her? That he was punishing Blaine for having verbal diarrhea in Glee rehearsal and then failing to follow his orders whilst making hideous and smelly football pads look sexier than Kurt could have imagined in his wildest, mind-bendingly steamy dreams?
"A lapse in judgment," Blaine finished for him. Kurt nodded emphatically.
"A lapse in judgment," Kurt repeated, hoping that she would just let them leave. The AP Government class he was missing was suddenly sounding more enticing than the Annual Sound of Music Sing-a-long.
"Boys, being intimate is something that should be personal and kept between the two of you. Being flashy about it only shows immaturity. Sex is a big deal, and-"
"We know, Miss P. It'll never happen again," Kurt interrupted. He would offer to tap dance naked through the mall if it would get her to stop the lecture.
"Excellent. You know, the Celibacy Club meets on Wednesdays after school," she said.
"Oh, no. The, uh, the intimate stuff is definitely happening again," Kurt stammered, earning an sharply placed elbow from Blaine
"But we won't bring it into Glee club. Again. Ever," Blaine said emphatically before lowering his voice, "You're not going to call my dad, are you?"
"No! Again, you aren't in trouble. Mr. Schuester and I just wanted to talk to you before it became something that could get you in trouble. If you ever need to talk about anything, I'm always here. And I want you to take some pamphlets," she said, holding out a sizable stack of the things that Kurt had learned to fear and loathe above all other items in the world after the heinously awkward sex talk he'd had with his dad the previous spring. Blaine nodded politely and snatched them from her hand. Kurt peeked down to see that the top one was titled "Help! My Boyfriend Wants to Touch Me Down There!"
"Thank you for your time, Miss Pillsbury," Blaine said, obviously having relocated his manners on the way to her office. She nodded, looking as relieved to have the talk finished as they were, and handed them two hall passes. They practically dashed into the hallway, shutting the glass door behind them. Once they were a few feet away and out of her line of sight, Blaine crumpled against the wall, slowly crushing the pamphlets to death in his palm.
"What the hell is going on today?" he asked, "I've never been sent to a counselor in my life. This is ridiculous!" Kurt felt his stomach seize up, and he latched onto Blaine's arm as panic spread hot and hysterical through his veins.
"Please don't break up with me," he begged, "I'm really sorry about yesterday. I never should have done that and-"
"Break up with you? Are you kidding me? You're the only thing keeping me sane at this school. I mean you drive me totally crazy in a good way, but yeah, this place is nuts."
"Oh thank god," Kurt said, dropping against the lockers beside his boyfriend, "I mean, thank god you aren't upset with me. But, I'm sorry that you don't like it here."
"I didn't say that. It's just so different. I was always so poised at school, doing exactly what I was supposed to do. But with you, I get so relaxed and I'm so happy that sometimes all of that just goes out the window. All I could think about after I got back from the bathroom yesterday was that I wanted to sing just as sexy of a song to get you back so you would punish me again. You have completely turned my world upside down, Kurt Hummel, and I love you for it. You might be the death of me, but I love you."
"I love you, too," Kurt said, giving Blaine a lingering kiss, "Now get to class. Finn's going to have enough questions about why you're late already."
"What should I tell him?"
"That it's none of his business," Kurt stated matter-of-factly as they started down the hall together.
"Don't you think that'll make him even more suspicious?"
"Yes, I do," Kurt grinned, stopping outside of his classroom, "I'll see you in Glee."
"At least we know the day can't get any worse than this," Blaine said, intending to be encouraging, but the look of complacency on Kurt's face morphed into one of rage in seconds, "What?"
"Why would you say that?"
"Say what?"
"You just jinxed us!"
"Tell me you don't actually believe in that." Blaine smiled, shaking his head.
"I didn't, but after the insanity that today has been, I'm not ruling anything out," Kurt said, pinching the bridge of his nose and taking a few deep breaths to steady himself, "If anything else weird happens today, it's your fault."
"Yeah? And what are you going to do about it?" Blaine raised his eyebrows slightly and darted out his tongue to lick at his bottom lip. Kurt had to use every ounce of his already feeble self-restraint to keep from throwing his boyfriend against the lockers and having his way with him. But then he remembered something important.
"Absolutely nothing. You enjoyed your last punishment too much. So now, your punishment will be the cold shoulder. Prepare yourself for my icy wrath," Kurt said before spinning on his heels and heading into the classroom leaving Blaine grasping at verbal straws in the middle of the hall.
By the time rehearsal rolled around that afternoon, Kurt had allowed himself to fully shift into an academic mindset. Well, he more had to force himself since all of his classes were tremendously boring, but he'd managed to make it happen and that was the important part. Blaine was waiting for him outside the room, and they entered hand-in-hand. Almost as soon as they'd stepped over the threshold, however, they stopped. Three things were not right about the situation they'd just stepped into: Brittany and Santana had taken over the chairs that the boys usually occupied in the back row, Mr. Schuester was sitting on a stool in front of the group with a serious look on his face, and every single pair of eyes in the room had turned to them as soon as they'd walked in.
"Kurt, Blaine, come take a seat," Mr. Schuester said.
"There are plenty of seats back here," Santana said just before she and Brittany each patted the empty chair next to them. Mercedes snorted as she bit back a laugh, and Kurt and Blaine went to occupy the two empty seats beside her.
"I think that we need to have a discussion about song choices in this group," Mr. Schuester said somberly.
"Thank god. Can we please put an end to any song made famous by anything even remotely resembling a Steve Perry fronted band?" Kurt suggested.
"Not exactly what I'm talking about, Kurt," Mr. Schue said, prompting Kurt to shrink back into his seat, "Now, ever since this group first started, we've been overstepping boundaries. I'm as much to blame for this as any one of you, but it needs to stop. This is a school group. We are representing McKinley High, and we need to adhere to the school's rules and code of conduct."
"If this is about yesterday, we're... we're really sorry," Blaine interrupted.
"Yesterday made me realize how much I've been putting off this conversation with you all. I don't want to squash your creativity, but we have got to keep things cleaner in this room."
"I liked their songs, Mr. Schue," Santana cooed from the back row.
"Me, too," Brittany added. Kurt gave Mercedes a preemptive glare before she even had the chance to start laughing.
"I think I got pregnant just from listening to them," Lauren said.
"Me, too," Artie laughed, the rest of the class--sans Kurt and Blaine--joining him.
"It's not just about yesterday," Mr. Schuester said, "Yesterday just made me realize how much I've been putting this off. We're not going to discuss it any more. From now on, all song choices have to be cleared by me before you sing them for the class. If you deviate, then you're buying yourself a ticket to Principal Figgins' office."
"Thanks a lot, Hummel," Puck grumbled from the other side of the room.
"As if rules have ever stopped you before," Rachel spat back at him.
"Fair enough," Puck agreed, shrugging and relaxing back into his seat.
"Now that we've established some ground rules, it's time to let Finn sing the song he's prepared this week," Mr. Schuester said.
"You are so getting the silent treatment," Kurt whispered to his boyfriend through gritted teeth.
"We can make it through the rest of the day," Blaine whispered back, clearly loving the exasperated look on Kurt's face, "Courage, babe." Kurt set his demeanor to Icy Wrath, and begrudgingly turned his attention to his step-brother at the front of the room.
He'd warned Blaine. He really had.
Part Three
Master Fic List