Chris/Darren: May Or May Not (NC-17)
Title: May Or May Not
Pairings/Characters: CrissColfer
Rating: NC-17
Word Count: 6,448
Spoilers: Oh god no. No no no. This is just for fun. ;)
Warnings: RPF. Blowjobs. Fingering. Rimming. Anal sex.
Summary: Chris convinces Darren to come over to talk about what happened on Saturday night.
A/N: This is part of the One-Time Thing series. Previous installments are: Want, You're A Dick Darren, Your Everything, and Too Close.
Now it was time to head back to set, aka. the last place on Earth Chris wanted to be. Because going there meant being around Darren. And not just being around Darren, but filming a scene with him. A scene with kissing. Chris banged his forehead against his steering wheel a few times for good measure before getting out and heading for the lot. As soon as he spied Ashley, he rushed to her side.
“What’s up with you?” Ashley asked. “And why didn’t you text me back yesterday?”
“I was busy,” he lied.
“You were not. You were probably sitting on your couch with your laptop all day,” she said. She was partially right. He had been on his couch, but he hadn’t touched his laptop. He’d just stared blankly at a Tabatha’s Salon Takeover marathon for a good eight hours. He didn’t even really like that show. “So what did you and Darren do after I left?”
“What? Why? Nothing,” Chris stammered, “I need to get to makeup.” He hurried away from her with his head down, knowing that she was giving his retreating form one hell of a questioning look. He’d almost made it to the safety of his trailer when he collided hard with something.
“Oh my god, I’m so-“ Darren said, pausing as he took in the form he'd just slammed into. “Chris.”
“Darren,” Chris said, swallowing hard and wanting to die. All of the people on the cast and crew, of course he’d run into Darren. “I called you.”
Wow, what an incredibly stupid thing to say.
“I know…” Darren trailed off and looked away. Chris followed his gaze and saw Ashley heading toward them. “We can’t talk about this right now.”
“Tonight? Come over to my place. Please?” Chris asked. Darren thought about it for a moment before nodding and sprinting away.
“Mind telling me why Darren saw me walking over here and ran away like his dick was on fire?” Ashley asked. “And you’re not getting out of this so don’t even try.” Chris grabbed her arm and pulled her into his trailer.
“You can’t tell anyone,” Chris said. He knew that he shouldn’t be talking to Ashley about this, or anyone for that matter, but he really needed to. Especially before he talked to Darren. “Okay, so in Dublin, you remember how we all went out for drinks after the show?”
“Not really,” Ashley laughed, “That night is kind of a blur, but continue.”
“Well, Darren and I headed back to the hotel together and he asked if he could come into my room. I said yes and once we were inside he started kissing me. And kissing me. And then he was literally begging to give me a blowjob,” Chris said, watching as Ashley’s mouth dropped open.
“No fucking way. You let him, right? Please tell me you let him. And that you took pictures.”
“Oh my god.” Chris rolled his eyes before filling her in on everything starting with what had happened that night in Ireland and ending with Darren escaping from his apartment just a few days earlier.
After he’d finished, Ashley sat there staring at him. And then she punched him as hard as she could in the arm.
“How did you not tell me about this?” she demanded, punching him again.
“Ow! Stop it!” he cried out, standing and moving to the other side of the small space. “I just don’t know what to make of it. I mean, if I had been the one to suggest the sex, then I could see how he would freak out. But he was the one who brought it up and he was obviously enjoying himself so I don’t know why he freaked out. Is it something really obvious that I’m missing?”
“It could be several things,” Ashley said, “But I don’t want to talk about them with you, because then you’ll start to assume things and freak out even more and that’s the last thing you need to do right now. You need to talk to him.”
“He’s coming over tonight so we can talk. I just wish I knew why he’s making this so difficult. I thought we had a good thing going. You know, some occasional sex that wasn’t having an effect on our friendship.”
“Just because it felt that way for you doesn’t mean it felt that way for him,” Ashley said. “Just talk to him. You’ll both feel better once everything’s out on the table. Except your bare asses. You need to talk before you get freaky again.”
“I don’t think we’re going to be doing anything even remotely close to bare-assing,” Chris said with a little roll of his eyes. “Look, I really do need to get into makeup. Thanks for letting me talk about this.”
“I’m your best friend, Chris. You can talk to me about anything,” she said, reaching over and giving his hand a squeeze.
That night, Chris waited for Darren. They hadn’t arranged a time, so Chris had no idea when to expect him. He tried to busy himself with ideas for dialogue for his script or wiping down his counters for the eighth time until the kitchen positively reeked of 409 Cleaner or reorganizing his shoes again.
It was almost ten by the time there was a knock on his door. Apparently Darren had followed someone up again. Chris really needed to complain about the lack of proper security in his building. You know, after he dealt with the rather precarious state of his difficult to label to friendship/sexual relationship with Darren.
“Hi,” Darren said, not raising his gaze higher than Chris’ chest as the door swung open.
“It’s late.”
“Yeah, I know,” Darren replied with a sigh, his eyes making it all the way to Chris’ chin before stopping. “Can I come in?”
“Sure,” Chris said, stepping aside and watching as Darren shuffled his way over the threshold.
After locking up behind them, he led the way into the living room where Darren immediately perched himself right on the edge of the comfortable black leather chair that sat near the couch. Okay, so Darren didn’t want to sit next to him. That was a big change from a few days earlier, but that wasn’t the only thing that was different.
There was a thickness to the air-unspoken words, worries, and a whole other host of conflicting and almost suffocating emotions clogging the empty space between them. It was kind of incredible, Chris realized, that it was possible to be so uncomfortable with someone you’d been so incredibly intimate with.
“So,” Chris said, drawing out the word and letting it fill his mouth with its incredible lameness before clamping his lips shut.
“I guess I owe you an explanation, huh?” Darren asked.
“That would be nice, yes.”
“It was shitty of me, running out the way I did,” Darren said softly, dropping his head and scrubbing a hand over his stubbly face.
“Just a bit,” Chris said. “I never expected anything from you, Darren. Not after Dublin. Not after the kitchen. Not after the living room. Each time, I expected it to be the last, but you just kept coming back. Not that I’m complaining, but it’s been a little...”
“I know,” Darren repeated. He sighed and scooted forward so that he was more hovering over the edge of the seat than actually sitting. “That night in Dublin… it wasn’t something I’d planned. I was really drunk and it was all I’d been able to think about for so long. I just… I had a chance and I took it. I never planned for it to be anything beyond that night,” Darren said.
“What was all you’d been able to think about?” Chris asked. Darren breathed out a little huff and pressed his lips together.
“You. Being with you. Thinking about you doing a whole lot of things that… were decidedly un-friendlike.”
Chris swallowed hard and decided to let it go. Darren hadn’t given him much to go on there, which in Darren-speak meant that he didn’t want to talk about it further. If Darren Criss was anything, he was a talker. If he didn’t expound, he wanted it left alone, and Chris could appease him. For now.
“Okay, so what made you decide to send me that text?” Chris asked. “Because honestly, it confused the hell out of me after barely hearing from you for months. Again, not that I expected you to, but it felt very… out of the blue.”
Chris couldn’t have taken his eyes off of Darren even if he wanted to. Darren was visibly distressed; fidgeting, licking his lips, drumming his fingers across his thighs like an invisible piano keyboard lay there. This wasn’t the Darren he’d gotten to know over the last year. The easy, effortless confidence was gone, leaving this twitchy, visibly flustered shell in its wake.
“Those couple of texts I sent you were, like, 1/1000th of the texts I thought about sending you this summer. I kept stopping myself until finally some part of me would win out and then I was sending you the most random shit about being at the zoo and…” He paused and sighed. “I didn’t mean to send you the one about the gelato. It happened so fast and the second I sent it I knew I shouldn’t have. And then you didn’t respond and… and then you were so pissed at me when we got back on set. I was so fucking scared that you were never going to talk to me again.”
“I thought you hated me,” Chris laughed, but Darren didn’t join him. Instead, he rushed to continue.
“I tried to stay away after that night in your kitchen. I tried so damned hard, but then I was driving to your house and texting you about a pizza when there was no pizza. I drove around your block probably fifty times trying to convince myself not to go in. But I did and then that night happened. From then on, I knew that I needed to end it,” Darren explained and Chris felt his heart plummet to his feet.
“Why though? Why did it have to stop?” Chris asked. He was so damned confused in that moment. Confused by Darren’s words, by his actions, by the way he was sitting and sighing and looking at Chris with those big hazel eyes that were so full of some kind of strong yet unreadable emotion that Chris could hardly bear to look into them.
“Chris,” Darren started. He got up and came over to sit next to him so closely that the heat from his leg was radiating onto Chris’, warming him and further spinning the thoughts in his mind into a hysterical frenzy. “When I came over the other day, I knew the entire way over here that it was going to be our last time. But then… you were inside of me and…” He paused, breaking their eye contact in the process and clearing his throat. “And I knew right then that it wasn’t going to be enough. I couldn’t watch you move on top of me and feel you stretching me and making me feel so fucking good and feel you come inside of me and then walk away when we were finished. I couldn’t do that. So I just had to leave. It needed to be the last time, but it couldn’t be the last time if we went through with it. So I left. And I’m so sorry, Chris, that I did it that way. I just…”
He collapsed back into the cushions and covered his face in both hands. Chris turned until he was sitting sideways and reached out a hand to rest on Darren’s thigh.
“Darren, what’s wrong?” Chris asked, trailing his thumb over the firm muscle below his fingers. Seriously, why did this have to be so difficult? They were fine. It could be over and Chris wouldn’t be upset. Darren knew that, so why this reaction?
“I’m sorry, I just… It literally scares the shit out of me, wanting you as badly as I do,” Darren finally admitted into his palms. Chris reached out to pull Darren’s hands away from his face. The sight they revealed shattered Chris’ heart.
Those beautiful eyes lined with thick lashes that Chris had so loved looking into as Darren had sucked Chris’ cock with enthusiasm the likes of which Chris was fairly certain the world had never before seen, were swimming with tears. Darren reached for Chris with trembling hands, pulling him closer until his face was buried in Chris neck. All he could do was sit there with wide eyes, looking around the room as he awkwardly patted Darren’s back and tried to focus on anything other than the feeling of Darren’s breath hot on his neck.
“Darren,” Chris breathed out only to earn himself another forceful tug in as Darren tried to get him closer than was humanly possible with all of their clothes in the way.
“I want you so much, Chris,” Darren said into Chris' neck, his lips moving against the sensitive skin there, making Chris shiver. “Wanting you consumes all of my energy. It’s all I can think about when I’m around you. And now that I’ve actually touched you… I don’t know how to stop feeling this way, but I have to because it hurts. Wanting you the way I do hurts.”
Chris tried to pull away but Darren wouldn’t let him. He hadn’t been expecting that. He’d been expecting that maybe Darren would tell him that it was too much, doing these things with him, or that he was confused about his sexuality, or that it was affecting his feelings of friendship for Chris and that was why he wanted to stop. This was something else entirely.
“Do you have feelings for me?” Chris asked, his voice soft. It wasn’t that he didn’t want to speak louder. He desperately did. The fact was, though, that he couldn’t. His heart was pounding so fast in anticipation that he was surprised he’d been able to speak at all.
“I feel something for you but I don’t know what to call it. I’ve liked and I’ve wanted, but never like this. It’s… It’s just so much that it makes my entire chest hurt.”
Oh my god. This was happening. It was really happening. Darren, who was beautiful and talented and smart and funny and honestly perfect in every way possible to the point that it was just ridiculous wanted him. Had feelings for him.
What they’d been doing wasn’t just sex for Darren. It had never just been sex for him, whether he’d known that at first or not. Everything that Chris had been suppressing, everything he’d made himself ignore, Darren had been dealing with. Thinking about. Wanting.
“I don’t know how I feel about you,” Chris admitted slowly, his heart pounding and his voice coming dangerously close to shaking as he tried to organize his thoughts. He stroked a hand over Darren’s hair before pulling back. This time, Darren let him. “I haven’t let myself think about it. I made myself keep it just fun casual sex in my head because that’s what it had to be in order for me to process it. You’re straight and if I had let myself think for even a second that it was anything other than just random sex… I couldn’t have done it. You know?”
“Yeah, I know,” Darren said, swiping at his eyes and clearing his throat. “I should’ve said something sooner, but how do you say that to someone? That you’ve thought about pretty much nothing other than sucking their cock for months? How do you say that and not be terrified of ruining your friendship? I’ve been so scared of fucking up what we have because I love being friends with you.”
“I love being friends with you, too,” Chris admitted, “But I love the other things we’ve been doing together, too.”
“I more than love the other things we’ve done,” Darren said with a little laugh. “I’m just so scared. I’ve never felt this way before. And not just about a guy. I mean, yeah, I’ve never been attracted to a guy before, but I don’t care about that. I’ve just honestly never felt this much or this way for anyone before. It’s fucking terrifying.”
“There’s nothing to be scared of. I’m not going anywhere.”
“But you don’t know if you feel the same way. That’s pretty damned scary all on its own, Chris,” Darren said, giving out a little groan and throwing an arm dramatically over his eyes. Chris laughed at him and shook his head, his entire chest warming at the sight as he pulled Darren’s arm away.
“I feel lots of things, Darren. I always have. Way back when I first saw your musical on the internet, I thought you were hot. But you have to understand my point of view and see that just because I haven’t let myself think about my feelings doesn’t mean they don’t exist. I just haven’t had a chance to really sort through them yet,” Chris said, gently putting a hand under Darren’s chin and pulling until Darren was facing him.
“I think I’m in-” Darren started, his eyes earnest and his voice so sincere, but Chris was quick to slap a hand over his mouth.
“Don’t. Not until I’ve figured things out on my end, okay?” he said. Darren nodded, his lips still pressed against Chris’ palm. “We don’t have to figure all of this out today.”
“I know,” Darren said against Chris’ hand. “I wish we would, though.” Chris thought for a moment before standing and extending a hand. There was something they could do, something that would be different now. Something that might make everything fall perfectly into place.
“Come on,” he said, looking pointedly down at his hand until Darren took it.
“Where are we going?” Darren asked as he stood, raising an eyebrow at Chris.
“To finish what we started the other day.”
With a forceful tug on the hand enclosed in his own, Darren pulled Chris close and kissed him. It wasn’t a needy kiss. There was no desperation lurking behind the deliberate movements of Darren’s lips. Darren was kissing him as if they had all the time in the world to do this, to lose themselves in the gentle slide of lips and tongues.
Hand-in-hand, they made their way into Chris’ bedroom. Once they were inside, nerves took hold of Chris’ stomach and gave a forceful squeeze.
“We don’t have to do this if you don’t want to,” Darren pretty much just breathed out, already stepping in close and trailing barely-there kisses up and down Chris’ neck.
“Oh I want to. Trust me, I want to,” Chris said, smoothing a hand over the back of Darren’s neck and pulling his face in harder against the skin he was kissing so teasingly. Darren chuckled and focused his attention in on the sensitive spot just below Chris’ left ear. A pleasant shudder rumbled through Chris’ body and he grinned, feeling Darren’s lips and tongue eagerly work over the spot as the stubble on his chin scraped against him in a way that was just so good it should have been punishable by flogging or stoning or something equally medieval and awful.
“Then relax,” Darren coaxed, finally releasing Chris’ hand and grasping firmly onto his hips and pulling until their cocks were pressed together.
“So many clothes,” Chris whined.
“Says the guy who wears so many layers it makes the fangirls cry.”
“Hey, it makes the fanboys cry, too,” Chris said. Darren laughed loudly and ground in harder before pulling back and dropping to his knees. With steady hands, Darren made quick work of removing Chris’ jeans, leaving him in just a pair of gray boxer briefs and his t-shirt.
“Shirt off,” Darren ordered. Chris rushed to comply, yanking the fabric over his head as quickly as possible, not wanting to miss a second of whatever Darren was about to do. Darren was studying Chris’ cock through the thin layer of fabric, looking at it like he was preparing to draw it from memory. “I will never get tired of seeing you like this.”
A flash of heat burned through Chris' chest as he stared down at Darren. He pulled his bottom lip between his teeth and lightly bit down as Darren kissed the head of his cock through his underwear before pulling them down so Chris could step out of them.
“That night in Dublin, you made a comment insinuating that I’d given head before. I hadn’t. After I started fantasizing about you, I studied up on how to give amazing blowjobs in case I ever got up the nerve and had a chance to be with you. I wanted it to be so good for you, Chris,” Darren said as he slowly jerked Chris off.
“Oh my god,” Chris gasped when the hand around his cock tightened significantly, now squeezing with each upstroke and prompting Chris to buck repeatedly into the curl of Darren’s fist. The mental image of Darren reading about blowjobs and probably watching porn just to study what to do in order to properly melt Chris into a sated heap was so hot. Chris’ cock twitched and his hips bucked forward, seeking out more friction even though the more logical parts of his brain knew that he needed to slow down. “You need to stop or I’m going to come.”
“Yeah?” Darren asked, the grin on his face disturbingly like that of the naughty boy on the playground who’d just been prompted with the dare of the century. He leaned in and roughly sucked Chris’ cock into his mouth, wasting no time in deep-throating it and latching both hands hard onto Chris’ ass to pull him in even closer.
“Jesus,” Chris groaned, digging his fingertips into Darren’s scalp and fighting against the urge to thrust into his mouth. That hot wet mouth with the perfect pink tongue currently doing absolutely sinful things to the underside of Chris’ cock.
It was a little moan from Darren that made Chris come. Just a sound of contentment, like he was just so incredibly happy to have Chris’ cock in his mouth. Looking down at Darren with his eyes shut and his forearms straining from the grip he had on Chris’ ass, it was obvious that he was happy. Thrilled. Chris came with a grunt, his hips jerking forward before he stilled, too overwhelmed by the feeling of Darren swallowing and moaning and licking to even move.
As soon as the mouth was gone from Chris’ cock, he staggered back and plopped to a sitting position on the bed. Darren grinned and stood, shucking off his clothes before straddling Chris’ thighs. He walked his fingers up Chris stomach and over his pecs until he was lacing them behind Chris’ neck and pulling him in for a kiss.
Chris could taste himself on Darren’s tongue as it slid and curled around his own, sharing just like he had on that first night. And just like back then, Chris kind of loved it, grabbing onto Darren’s ass and giving it a squeeze before trailing one hand around to lightly stroke at his cock. He moved his hand up and down as they kissed almost lazily, just taking their time.
The smell of Darren’s subtle cologne was intoxicating, making Chris’ head spin almost as much as the orgasm had. He broke their kiss, earning a little whine from Darren, and leaned in to press his face against the side of Darren’s neck, just breathing in him as his hand closed more firmly around Darren’s gorgeous cock. Eager hands grappled at his back, blunt fingernails scratching at his skin as he pumped Darren faster.
“Wait… wait…” Darren said, though the keening and desperate way he spoke the word indicated that he wanted Chris to do anything but. “I want to come with you inside me. Please stop.”
That was not a request that Chris currently had the willpower to deny. His cock was starting to get hard again, a little too much too soon, but damn it, he just so did not care at the moment.
“Lie back on the bed for me,” Chris said, surprised at the sultry sound of his voice. Apparently Darren was, too, because he launched himself back at Chris, scooting in so close on his lap that his cock was pressed right against the half-hard length of Chris’ own. His lips were insistent, claiming Chris’ over and over again, sucking on his bottom lip before applying the same suction to Chris’ tongue. A ragged moan escaped Chris’ mouth as his hips surged up and Darren released his tongue to press a quick kiss to his lips.
As Chris got up to fetch the lube and a condom from his nightstand, Darren pulled back the covers and climbed onto the mattress. Chris coated two of his fingers with lube and rubbed them together as he lay down between Darren’s legs.
“Knees up,” he instructed in a soft voice. Darren exhaled shakily, excitement and anticipation all over his face as he complied. Chris just looked for a minute at Darren all spread out for him, his cock hard and ruddy with want, his ass perfect and waiting for him, dustings of black hair across his thighs and surrounding the base of his cock making him look so fucking perfect and gorgeous that Chris couldn’t help himself.
He dragged his tongue over Darren’s balls, just a quick sweep and then he was gone, moving down below them to trail across his perineum until he reached his intended goal.
“Sweet fuck,” Darren cried out as Chris licked a light circle around his asshole before rubbing across it with several harder presses of his tongue. Chris forgot all about the lube on his fingers and took hold of Darren’s thighs for leverage as he moved his mouth against Darren’s ass with more enthusiastic motions. He kissed and licked over the sensitive skin until Darren was actually writhing beneath him. “More Chris, oh my god.”
Smiling a little to himself, Chris flattened out his tongue and licked a broad strip all the way from Darren’s asshole to the tip of his cock where he proceeded to lap up all of the precome he found there with a little moan. As he sucked just the head into his mouth, he busied his hands with reapplying lube to his fingers and gently sliding just his middle finger into Darren’s ass ever so slowly.
“More Chris. Come on,” Darren pleaded, lacing his fingers in Chris’ hair and pushing down ever so slightly. Instead of letting Darren force more of his cock into Chris’ mouth, he instead leaned back until he was pulling off with a wet pop.
“Patience, Mr. Criss,” he said with a cocked eyebrow, slowly dragging that one finger in and out and intentionally avoiding Darren’s prostate.
“I just want you. So much,” Darren panted as Chris slid his ring finger in alongside the other, this time being sure to drag over that perfect spot as he pulled back out for another thrust in.
Chris watched Darren with rapt attention. His stomach muscles were clenched up tight as his hips rocked ever so slightly to counter the ministrations of Chris’ fingers. His eyes stared at Chris as he practically panted from the constant movement of the fingers inside of him. His own fingers were gripping into the sheets, his thighs tense, his Adam’s apple bobbing as he swallowed hard, his pupils wide, his eyelashes thick and looking even longer than they usually did. Tears prickled at the corners of Chris’ eyes at the sight. At all of Darren, everything he was seeing and everything he felt. It hit him like a tidal wave, holding him under and washing over him until he couldn’t think about anything else. His fingers stilled, his mouth dropped open, and he couldn’t stop the words from spilling from between his lips.
“You are so gorgeous,” he told Darren as he removed his fingers and climbed over Darren, lowering himself until they were fully pressed together. “You are seriously the hottest guy I have ever seen. But it’s not just that. You are…” He trailed off, the weight on his chest so unyielding and oppressive he could hardly manage to breathe let alone talk. Darren pressed a hand just above Chris’ heart.
“Do you feel it?” Darren whispered, his fingertips digging in. Chris nodded, choking down the lump in his throat.
“I do,” he managed to get out before kissing Darren hard on the lips. “You were right. It fucking hurts.” Darren groaned and put a hand on the back of Chris’ head to bring him in for another kiss. “I’m sorry, I just… I couldn’t feel anything for you. I couldn’t let myself think about you that way, but I love spending time with you and dorking out about anything and everything. I love acting with you. I loved just watching TV with you the other day and I loved talking with you while we ate pizza on my kitchen floor. I love how you can do leaps and strike ridiculous poses on the red carpet and then give the most thoughtful and insightful responses during interviews two seconds later. I love how you get excited about everything and how seriously you take your acting and your music. I love talking to you because it always puts me in a better mood.”
“What are you saying, Chris?” Darren asked, though the amused sparkle in his eyes said that he already knew.
“I have feelings for you. I think I probably always have, I just couldn’t let myself realize it,” Chris admitted, stroking a thumb over Darren’s cheek. Darren leaned into the touch and sighed with a little smile dancing at the corners of his mouth.
“Took you long enough to catch up with me,” he teased. Chris laughed and rolled his eyes a little before kissing Darren again, more desperately now that the need to actually be inside of this stunning man below him-the man who wanted him and had feelings for him, too-was overwhelming. “I am so crazy about you, but if you don’t start fucking me in the next five seconds, I might take it all back.”
“It’s going to be like that, huh?” Chris asked, though he was already sitting up and reaching for the condom.
“It’s going to be however we want it to be,” Darren replied softly. Chris’ heart gave yet another aching throb and he quickly rolled the condom onto himself and handed Darren the bottle of lube. Opening the bottle as he moved, Darren sat up and curled his fist around Chris’ cock, stroking him firmly a few times before handing back the bottle and stealing a kiss. Chris pushed Darren away with a smile until he was lying back on the bed. Chris spread his knees wide and lifted Darren’s legs until they were tented over his thighs. With one hand, Chris rubbed gentle circles around Darren’s asshole a few times before he shifted forward, dropping his weight onto his free hand, and lined up the head of his cock before slowly pushing in.
“Shit,” he hissed out as Darren locked his ankles around Chris’ hips, digging his heels into Chris’ ass and urging him forward. Darren felt so good, so tight and hot and he looked so fucking beautiful as he lay there while Chris moved on top of him.
Chris knew that he wasn’t going to last long. Even though he’d just come, there was something about this, the feel of Darren and the way he looked and all of the feelings coursing through him, that he knew it just wasn’t going to take as long as it should given the fact that it was his second orgasm of the day.
“You feel amazing,” Darren moaned, his feet digging in even harder and coming dangerously close to breaking Chris’ resolve to go slowly until Darren got accustomed to the feeling. “Honestly, I thought that I couldn't love anything more than having your cock in my mouth but-” He cut off with a moan as Chris hit his prostate. “But this… hng.”
Chris grabbed one of Darren’s hands and laced their fingers together, pressing it hard into the mattress as he leaned down to kiss Darren. His hips bucked forward steadily, angling just right to drag across Darren’s prostate with every single thrust.
“Darren,” Chris gasped, barely able to get out the words as he focused on the tight heat of Darren’s ass squeezing tight around him. “Look at me.”
Darren opened his eyes, a crease immediately forming between his eyebrows as he looked up at Chris with so much adoration pouring from him Chris could hardly keep from just collapsing on top of him, clutching and grasping and just being with him until…
“I love you,” Darren said. Chris didn’t miss a beat, just kept moving. He wanted to say so many things, but not right then. Not when they were both so close to coming. Not when words like that came out far too often without the proper meaning behind them. Chris raised back up until he could easily support himself with one hand and he wrapped the other around Darren’s half-hard cock.
“Come for me,” Chris said, increasing his own speed, feeling the familiar heat spreading through his hips, the tension in his balls increasing. He was going to come soon, but he wanted Darren to come first. He wanted to watch him fall apart.
“Fuck,” Darren gritted out, clamping down hard on Chris’ cock as he started using shorter strokes with the sole purpose of massaging Darren’s prostate with each little movement. Darren got fully hard quickly in Chris’ hand and Chris devoted every ounce of his effort to making Darren come hard. With each upstroke of his hand, he thumbed over the impossibly soft head of Darren’s cock. When Darren begged him to increase his speed, he did. And then finally it was happening. “Chris!”
Chris slowed his speed as Darren’s body writhed from the force of his orgasm, watching on as Darren’s cock shot streak after streak of come across their stomachs. He could feel Darren’s body clenching and shuddering from the aftershocks of his orgasm as Darren kept gripping down onto his cock at random intervals When Darren was twitching away from the sensation of Chris' hand on him, his efforts became focused on making himself come.
“You’re so fucking hot, Chris,” Darren said, his hips rocking just enough to move with Chris’ thrusts, but the rest of his body lying bonelessly on the mattress. “Come.”
Chris thrust hard four more times before stars exploded on the backs of his eyelids and he cried out. He rode out his orgasm as Darren whispered things to him and gently stroked his back. Even if he’d been held at gunpoint he couldn’t have repeated a single thing Darren had said to him then, but he could see the look on Darren’s face and could feel the reassuring hands on his flushed skin and knew that whatever it was, it’d been ridiculously sweet and entirely Darren.
“Oh my god,” Chris moaned, carefully pulling out before dropping onto the mattress beside Darren. Immediately, he was pulled into Darren’s arms and he could just barely feel kisses being pressed to the top of his head.
“That was amazing,” Darren said. Chris made a grunting noise of agreement and lightly patted at Darren’s back. Once he’d come down enough to be able to form a coherent thought, he pulled back slightly and pushed stray sweaty curls from Darren’s forehead.
“So, you love me?”
Darren laughed lightly and leaned into Chris’ touch.
“I do,” he replied with a nod. “And you don’t have to say it back. In fact, I’d rather you didn’t. The fact that you didn’t run screaming when I said it says enough for now.” Chris looked at him, studying his entire face and trying not to smile.
“You don’t want me to tell you that I love you?”
“I want you to tell me when you’re ready. If you’re ever ready. It'll mean more that way and I’ll know it was because you really wanted to say it, not because you felt like you had to,” Darren said with a shrug before again kissing the top of Chris’ head. “I really do, though.”
Chris nodded, his cheek pressed into the surprisingly soft hair on Darren’s chest, his fingers tracing shapes into the skin of Darren’s back. Maybe he did love Darren, maybe he didn’t. It was nice that he didn’t have to think about it right now. He knew that he had feelings for Darren. So many feelings that he honestly didn’t know what to do with them all. How to categorize them. If they even could be shoved into a known category.
“You do know what this means, don’t you?” Chris asked.
“What?”
“The days of our one-time things are officially behind us.”
“That’s okay,” Darren said. “I don’t think we ever really did right by the whole idea anyway.”
“Definitely not,” Chris laughed.
“You know what’s even better than one-time things?” Darren asked, continuing when Chris raised an eyebrow at him, “First-time things.”
“Is that so?”
“It’s so,” Darren said haughtily. Chris pulled back and looked up at Darren before leaning in to give him a quick kiss.
“I may or may not love you,” he said, hardly able to suppress his laughter.
“Music to my ears,” Darren replied with obviously forced cheesiness. Chris laughed loudly and slung a leg over Darren’s hips until he was hovering on top of him. “What’re you doing?”
“Well, by my count, the current standings are- Chris: two orgasms and Darren: one. I’m just looking to settle the score,” Chris shrugged.
“I am all kinds of okay with that,” Darren grinned, reaching up to cradle Chris’ head in both hands and pulling him down for a sweet kiss, their tongues just barely touching before Chris was pulling back.
“Good. Now how do you feel about getting started on those ‘first-time things’?”
Pairings/Characters: CrissColfer
Rating: NC-17
Word Count: 6,448
Spoilers: Oh god no. No no no. This is just for fun. ;)
Warnings: RPF. Blowjobs. Fingering. Rimming. Anal sex.
Summary: Chris convinces Darren to come over to talk about what happened on Saturday night.
A/N: This is part of the One-Time Thing series. Previous installments are: Want, You're A Dick Darren, Your Everything, and Too Close.
Now it was time to head back to set, aka. the last place on Earth Chris wanted to be. Because going there meant being around Darren. And not just being around Darren, but filming a scene with him. A scene with kissing. Chris banged his forehead against his steering wheel a few times for good measure before getting out and heading for the lot. As soon as he spied Ashley, he rushed to her side.
“What’s up with you?” Ashley asked. “And why didn’t you text me back yesterday?”
“I was busy,” he lied.
“You were not. You were probably sitting on your couch with your laptop all day,” she said. She was partially right. He had been on his couch, but he hadn’t touched his laptop. He’d just stared blankly at a Tabatha’s Salon Takeover marathon for a good eight hours. He didn’t even really like that show. “So what did you and Darren do after I left?”
“What? Why? Nothing,” Chris stammered, “I need to get to makeup.” He hurried away from her with his head down, knowing that she was giving his retreating form one hell of a questioning look. He’d almost made it to the safety of his trailer when he collided hard with something.
“Oh my god, I’m so-“ Darren said, pausing as he took in the form he'd just slammed into. “Chris.”
“Darren,” Chris said, swallowing hard and wanting to die. All of the people on the cast and crew, of course he’d run into Darren. “I called you.”
Wow, what an incredibly stupid thing to say.
“I know…” Darren trailed off and looked away. Chris followed his gaze and saw Ashley heading toward them. “We can’t talk about this right now.”
“Tonight? Come over to my place. Please?” Chris asked. Darren thought about it for a moment before nodding and sprinting away.
“Mind telling me why Darren saw me walking over here and ran away like his dick was on fire?” Ashley asked. “And you’re not getting out of this so don’t even try.” Chris grabbed her arm and pulled her into his trailer.
“You can’t tell anyone,” Chris said. He knew that he shouldn’t be talking to Ashley about this, or anyone for that matter, but he really needed to. Especially before he talked to Darren. “Okay, so in Dublin, you remember how we all went out for drinks after the show?”
“Not really,” Ashley laughed, “That night is kind of a blur, but continue.”
“Well, Darren and I headed back to the hotel together and he asked if he could come into my room. I said yes and once we were inside he started kissing me. And kissing me. And then he was literally begging to give me a blowjob,” Chris said, watching as Ashley’s mouth dropped open.
“No fucking way. You let him, right? Please tell me you let him. And that you took pictures.”
“Oh my god.” Chris rolled his eyes before filling her in on everything starting with what had happened that night in Ireland and ending with Darren escaping from his apartment just a few days earlier.
After he’d finished, Ashley sat there staring at him. And then she punched him as hard as she could in the arm.
“How did you not tell me about this?” she demanded, punching him again.
“Ow! Stop it!” he cried out, standing and moving to the other side of the small space. “I just don’t know what to make of it. I mean, if I had been the one to suggest the sex, then I could see how he would freak out. But he was the one who brought it up and he was obviously enjoying himself so I don’t know why he freaked out. Is it something really obvious that I’m missing?”
“It could be several things,” Ashley said, “But I don’t want to talk about them with you, because then you’ll start to assume things and freak out even more and that’s the last thing you need to do right now. You need to talk to him.”
“He’s coming over tonight so we can talk. I just wish I knew why he’s making this so difficult. I thought we had a good thing going. You know, some occasional sex that wasn’t having an effect on our friendship.”
“Just because it felt that way for you doesn’t mean it felt that way for him,” Ashley said. “Just talk to him. You’ll both feel better once everything’s out on the table. Except your bare asses. You need to talk before you get freaky again.”
“I don’t think we’re going to be doing anything even remotely close to bare-assing,” Chris said with a little roll of his eyes. “Look, I really do need to get into makeup. Thanks for letting me talk about this.”
“I’m your best friend, Chris. You can talk to me about anything,” she said, reaching over and giving his hand a squeeze.
That night, Chris waited for Darren. They hadn’t arranged a time, so Chris had no idea when to expect him. He tried to busy himself with ideas for dialogue for his script or wiping down his counters for the eighth time until the kitchen positively reeked of 409 Cleaner or reorganizing his shoes again.
It was almost ten by the time there was a knock on his door. Apparently Darren had followed someone up again. Chris really needed to complain about the lack of proper security in his building. You know, after he dealt with the rather precarious state of his difficult to label to friendship/sexual relationship with Darren.
“Hi,” Darren said, not raising his gaze higher than Chris’ chest as the door swung open.
“It’s late.”
“Yeah, I know,” Darren replied with a sigh, his eyes making it all the way to Chris’ chin before stopping. “Can I come in?”
“Sure,” Chris said, stepping aside and watching as Darren shuffled his way over the threshold.
After locking up behind them, he led the way into the living room where Darren immediately perched himself right on the edge of the comfortable black leather chair that sat near the couch. Okay, so Darren didn’t want to sit next to him. That was a big change from a few days earlier, but that wasn’t the only thing that was different.
There was a thickness to the air-unspoken words, worries, and a whole other host of conflicting and almost suffocating emotions clogging the empty space between them. It was kind of incredible, Chris realized, that it was possible to be so uncomfortable with someone you’d been so incredibly intimate with.
“So,” Chris said, drawing out the word and letting it fill his mouth with its incredible lameness before clamping his lips shut.
“I guess I owe you an explanation, huh?” Darren asked.
“That would be nice, yes.”
“It was shitty of me, running out the way I did,” Darren said softly, dropping his head and scrubbing a hand over his stubbly face.
“Just a bit,” Chris said. “I never expected anything from you, Darren. Not after Dublin. Not after the kitchen. Not after the living room. Each time, I expected it to be the last, but you just kept coming back. Not that I’m complaining, but it’s been a little...”
“I know,” Darren repeated. He sighed and scooted forward so that he was more hovering over the edge of the seat than actually sitting. “That night in Dublin… it wasn’t something I’d planned. I was really drunk and it was all I’d been able to think about for so long. I just… I had a chance and I took it. I never planned for it to be anything beyond that night,” Darren said.
“What was all you’d been able to think about?” Chris asked. Darren breathed out a little huff and pressed his lips together.
“You. Being with you. Thinking about you doing a whole lot of things that… were decidedly un-friendlike.”
Chris swallowed hard and decided to let it go. Darren hadn’t given him much to go on there, which in Darren-speak meant that he didn’t want to talk about it further. If Darren Criss was anything, he was a talker. If he didn’t expound, he wanted it left alone, and Chris could appease him. For now.
“Okay, so what made you decide to send me that text?” Chris asked. “Because honestly, it confused the hell out of me after barely hearing from you for months. Again, not that I expected you to, but it felt very… out of the blue.”
Chris couldn’t have taken his eyes off of Darren even if he wanted to. Darren was visibly distressed; fidgeting, licking his lips, drumming his fingers across his thighs like an invisible piano keyboard lay there. This wasn’t the Darren he’d gotten to know over the last year. The easy, effortless confidence was gone, leaving this twitchy, visibly flustered shell in its wake.
“Those couple of texts I sent you were, like, 1/1000th of the texts I thought about sending you this summer. I kept stopping myself until finally some part of me would win out and then I was sending you the most random shit about being at the zoo and…” He paused and sighed. “I didn’t mean to send you the one about the gelato. It happened so fast and the second I sent it I knew I shouldn’t have. And then you didn’t respond and… and then you were so pissed at me when we got back on set. I was so fucking scared that you were never going to talk to me again.”
“I thought you hated me,” Chris laughed, but Darren didn’t join him. Instead, he rushed to continue.
“I tried to stay away after that night in your kitchen. I tried so damned hard, but then I was driving to your house and texting you about a pizza when there was no pizza. I drove around your block probably fifty times trying to convince myself not to go in. But I did and then that night happened. From then on, I knew that I needed to end it,” Darren explained and Chris felt his heart plummet to his feet.
“Why though? Why did it have to stop?” Chris asked. He was so damned confused in that moment. Confused by Darren’s words, by his actions, by the way he was sitting and sighing and looking at Chris with those big hazel eyes that were so full of some kind of strong yet unreadable emotion that Chris could hardly bear to look into them.
“Chris,” Darren started. He got up and came over to sit next to him so closely that the heat from his leg was radiating onto Chris’, warming him and further spinning the thoughts in his mind into a hysterical frenzy. “When I came over the other day, I knew the entire way over here that it was going to be our last time. But then… you were inside of me and…” He paused, breaking their eye contact in the process and clearing his throat. “And I knew right then that it wasn’t going to be enough. I couldn’t watch you move on top of me and feel you stretching me and making me feel so fucking good and feel you come inside of me and then walk away when we were finished. I couldn’t do that. So I just had to leave. It needed to be the last time, but it couldn’t be the last time if we went through with it. So I left. And I’m so sorry, Chris, that I did it that way. I just…”
He collapsed back into the cushions and covered his face in both hands. Chris turned until he was sitting sideways and reached out a hand to rest on Darren’s thigh.
“Darren, what’s wrong?” Chris asked, trailing his thumb over the firm muscle below his fingers. Seriously, why did this have to be so difficult? They were fine. It could be over and Chris wouldn’t be upset. Darren knew that, so why this reaction?
“I’m sorry, I just… It literally scares the shit out of me, wanting you as badly as I do,” Darren finally admitted into his palms. Chris reached out to pull Darren’s hands away from his face. The sight they revealed shattered Chris’ heart.
Those beautiful eyes lined with thick lashes that Chris had so loved looking into as Darren had sucked Chris’ cock with enthusiasm the likes of which Chris was fairly certain the world had never before seen, were swimming with tears. Darren reached for Chris with trembling hands, pulling him closer until his face was buried in Chris neck. All he could do was sit there with wide eyes, looking around the room as he awkwardly patted Darren’s back and tried to focus on anything other than the feeling of Darren’s breath hot on his neck.
“Darren,” Chris breathed out only to earn himself another forceful tug in as Darren tried to get him closer than was humanly possible with all of their clothes in the way.
“I want you so much, Chris,” Darren said into Chris' neck, his lips moving against the sensitive skin there, making Chris shiver. “Wanting you consumes all of my energy. It’s all I can think about when I’m around you. And now that I’ve actually touched you… I don’t know how to stop feeling this way, but I have to because it hurts. Wanting you the way I do hurts.”
Chris tried to pull away but Darren wouldn’t let him. He hadn’t been expecting that. He’d been expecting that maybe Darren would tell him that it was too much, doing these things with him, or that he was confused about his sexuality, or that it was affecting his feelings of friendship for Chris and that was why he wanted to stop. This was something else entirely.
“Do you have feelings for me?” Chris asked, his voice soft. It wasn’t that he didn’t want to speak louder. He desperately did. The fact was, though, that he couldn’t. His heart was pounding so fast in anticipation that he was surprised he’d been able to speak at all.
“I feel something for you but I don’t know what to call it. I’ve liked and I’ve wanted, but never like this. It’s… It’s just so much that it makes my entire chest hurt.”
Oh my god. This was happening. It was really happening. Darren, who was beautiful and talented and smart and funny and honestly perfect in every way possible to the point that it was just ridiculous wanted him. Had feelings for him.
What they’d been doing wasn’t just sex for Darren. It had never just been sex for him, whether he’d known that at first or not. Everything that Chris had been suppressing, everything he’d made himself ignore, Darren had been dealing with. Thinking about. Wanting.
“I don’t know how I feel about you,” Chris admitted slowly, his heart pounding and his voice coming dangerously close to shaking as he tried to organize his thoughts. He stroked a hand over Darren’s hair before pulling back. This time, Darren let him. “I haven’t let myself think about it. I made myself keep it just fun casual sex in my head because that’s what it had to be in order for me to process it. You’re straight and if I had let myself think for even a second that it was anything other than just random sex… I couldn’t have done it. You know?”
“Yeah, I know,” Darren said, swiping at his eyes and clearing his throat. “I should’ve said something sooner, but how do you say that to someone? That you’ve thought about pretty much nothing other than sucking their cock for months? How do you say that and not be terrified of ruining your friendship? I’ve been so scared of fucking up what we have because I love being friends with you.”
“I love being friends with you, too,” Chris admitted, “But I love the other things we’ve been doing together, too.”
“I more than love the other things we’ve done,” Darren said with a little laugh. “I’m just so scared. I’ve never felt this way before. And not just about a guy. I mean, yeah, I’ve never been attracted to a guy before, but I don’t care about that. I’ve just honestly never felt this much or this way for anyone before. It’s fucking terrifying.”
“There’s nothing to be scared of. I’m not going anywhere.”
“But you don’t know if you feel the same way. That’s pretty damned scary all on its own, Chris,” Darren said, giving out a little groan and throwing an arm dramatically over his eyes. Chris laughed at him and shook his head, his entire chest warming at the sight as he pulled Darren’s arm away.
“I feel lots of things, Darren. I always have. Way back when I first saw your musical on the internet, I thought you were hot. But you have to understand my point of view and see that just because I haven’t let myself think about my feelings doesn’t mean they don’t exist. I just haven’t had a chance to really sort through them yet,” Chris said, gently putting a hand under Darren’s chin and pulling until Darren was facing him.
“I think I’m in-” Darren started, his eyes earnest and his voice so sincere, but Chris was quick to slap a hand over his mouth.
“Don’t. Not until I’ve figured things out on my end, okay?” he said. Darren nodded, his lips still pressed against Chris’ palm. “We don’t have to figure all of this out today.”
“I know,” Darren said against Chris’ hand. “I wish we would, though.” Chris thought for a moment before standing and extending a hand. There was something they could do, something that would be different now. Something that might make everything fall perfectly into place.
“Come on,” he said, looking pointedly down at his hand until Darren took it.
“Where are we going?” Darren asked as he stood, raising an eyebrow at Chris.
“To finish what we started the other day.”
With a forceful tug on the hand enclosed in his own, Darren pulled Chris close and kissed him. It wasn’t a needy kiss. There was no desperation lurking behind the deliberate movements of Darren’s lips. Darren was kissing him as if they had all the time in the world to do this, to lose themselves in the gentle slide of lips and tongues.
Hand-in-hand, they made their way into Chris’ bedroom. Once they were inside, nerves took hold of Chris’ stomach and gave a forceful squeeze.
“We don’t have to do this if you don’t want to,” Darren pretty much just breathed out, already stepping in close and trailing barely-there kisses up and down Chris’ neck.
“Oh I want to. Trust me, I want to,” Chris said, smoothing a hand over the back of Darren’s neck and pulling his face in harder against the skin he was kissing so teasingly. Darren chuckled and focused his attention in on the sensitive spot just below Chris’ left ear. A pleasant shudder rumbled through Chris’ body and he grinned, feeling Darren’s lips and tongue eagerly work over the spot as the stubble on his chin scraped against him in a way that was just so good it should have been punishable by flogging or stoning or something equally medieval and awful.
“Then relax,” Darren coaxed, finally releasing Chris’ hand and grasping firmly onto his hips and pulling until their cocks were pressed together.
“So many clothes,” Chris whined.
“Says the guy who wears so many layers it makes the fangirls cry.”
“Hey, it makes the fanboys cry, too,” Chris said. Darren laughed loudly and ground in harder before pulling back and dropping to his knees. With steady hands, Darren made quick work of removing Chris’ jeans, leaving him in just a pair of gray boxer briefs and his t-shirt.
“Shirt off,” Darren ordered. Chris rushed to comply, yanking the fabric over his head as quickly as possible, not wanting to miss a second of whatever Darren was about to do. Darren was studying Chris’ cock through the thin layer of fabric, looking at it like he was preparing to draw it from memory. “I will never get tired of seeing you like this.”
A flash of heat burned through Chris' chest as he stared down at Darren. He pulled his bottom lip between his teeth and lightly bit down as Darren kissed the head of his cock through his underwear before pulling them down so Chris could step out of them.
“That night in Dublin, you made a comment insinuating that I’d given head before. I hadn’t. After I started fantasizing about you, I studied up on how to give amazing blowjobs in case I ever got up the nerve and had a chance to be with you. I wanted it to be so good for you, Chris,” Darren said as he slowly jerked Chris off.
“Oh my god,” Chris gasped when the hand around his cock tightened significantly, now squeezing with each upstroke and prompting Chris to buck repeatedly into the curl of Darren’s fist. The mental image of Darren reading about blowjobs and probably watching porn just to study what to do in order to properly melt Chris into a sated heap was so hot. Chris’ cock twitched and his hips bucked forward, seeking out more friction even though the more logical parts of his brain knew that he needed to slow down. “You need to stop or I’m going to come.”
“Yeah?” Darren asked, the grin on his face disturbingly like that of the naughty boy on the playground who’d just been prompted with the dare of the century. He leaned in and roughly sucked Chris’ cock into his mouth, wasting no time in deep-throating it and latching both hands hard onto Chris’ ass to pull him in even closer.
“Jesus,” Chris groaned, digging his fingertips into Darren’s scalp and fighting against the urge to thrust into his mouth. That hot wet mouth with the perfect pink tongue currently doing absolutely sinful things to the underside of Chris’ cock.
It was a little moan from Darren that made Chris come. Just a sound of contentment, like he was just so incredibly happy to have Chris’ cock in his mouth. Looking down at Darren with his eyes shut and his forearms straining from the grip he had on Chris’ ass, it was obvious that he was happy. Thrilled. Chris came with a grunt, his hips jerking forward before he stilled, too overwhelmed by the feeling of Darren swallowing and moaning and licking to even move.
As soon as the mouth was gone from Chris’ cock, he staggered back and plopped to a sitting position on the bed. Darren grinned and stood, shucking off his clothes before straddling Chris’ thighs. He walked his fingers up Chris stomach and over his pecs until he was lacing them behind Chris’ neck and pulling him in for a kiss.
Chris could taste himself on Darren’s tongue as it slid and curled around his own, sharing just like he had on that first night. And just like back then, Chris kind of loved it, grabbing onto Darren’s ass and giving it a squeeze before trailing one hand around to lightly stroke at his cock. He moved his hand up and down as they kissed almost lazily, just taking their time.
The smell of Darren’s subtle cologne was intoxicating, making Chris’ head spin almost as much as the orgasm had. He broke their kiss, earning a little whine from Darren, and leaned in to press his face against the side of Darren’s neck, just breathing in him as his hand closed more firmly around Darren’s gorgeous cock. Eager hands grappled at his back, blunt fingernails scratching at his skin as he pumped Darren faster.
“Wait… wait…” Darren said, though the keening and desperate way he spoke the word indicated that he wanted Chris to do anything but. “I want to come with you inside me. Please stop.”
That was not a request that Chris currently had the willpower to deny. His cock was starting to get hard again, a little too much too soon, but damn it, he just so did not care at the moment.
“Lie back on the bed for me,” Chris said, surprised at the sultry sound of his voice. Apparently Darren was, too, because he launched himself back at Chris, scooting in so close on his lap that his cock was pressed right against the half-hard length of Chris’ own. His lips were insistent, claiming Chris’ over and over again, sucking on his bottom lip before applying the same suction to Chris’ tongue. A ragged moan escaped Chris’ mouth as his hips surged up and Darren released his tongue to press a quick kiss to his lips.
As Chris got up to fetch the lube and a condom from his nightstand, Darren pulled back the covers and climbed onto the mattress. Chris coated two of his fingers with lube and rubbed them together as he lay down between Darren’s legs.
“Knees up,” he instructed in a soft voice. Darren exhaled shakily, excitement and anticipation all over his face as he complied. Chris just looked for a minute at Darren all spread out for him, his cock hard and ruddy with want, his ass perfect and waiting for him, dustings of black hair across his thighs and surrounding the base of his cock making him look so fucking perfect and gorgeous that Chris couldn’t help himself.
He dragged his tongue over Darren’s balls, just a quick sweep and then he was gone, moving down below them to trail across his perineum until he reached his intended goal.
“Sweet fuck,” Darren cried out as Chris licked a light circle around his asshole before rubbing across it with several harder presses of his tongue. Chris forgot all about the lube on his fingers and took hold of Darren’s thighs for leverage as he moved his mouth against Darren’s ass with more enthusiastic motions. He kissed and licked over the sensitive skin until Darren was actually writhing beneath him. “More Chris, oh my god.”
Smiling a little to himself, Chris flattened out his tongue and licked a broad strip all the way from Darren’s asshole to the tip of his cock where he proceeded to lap up all of the precome he found there with a little moan. As he sucked just the head into his mouth, he busied his hands with reapplying lube to his fingers and gently sliding just his middle finger into Darren’s ass ever so slowly.
“More Chris. Come on,” Darren pleaded, lacing his fingers in Chris’ hair and pushing down ever so slightly. Instead of letting Darren force more of his cock into Chris’ mouth, he instead leaned back until he was pulling off with a wet pop.
“Patience, Mr. Criss,” he said with a cocked eyebrow, slowly dragging that one finger in and out and intentionally avoiding Darren’s prostate.
“I just want you. So much,” Darren panted as Chris slid his ring finger in alongside the other, this time being sure to drag over that perfect spot as he pulled back out for another thrust in.
Chris watched Darren with rapt attention. His stomach muscles were clenched up tight as his hips rocked ever so slightly to counter the ministrations of Chris’ fingers. His eyes stared at Chris as he practically panted from the constant movement of the fingers inside of him. His own fingers were gripping into the sheets, his thighs tense, his Adam’s apple bobbing as he swallowed hard, his pupils wide, his eyelashes thick and looking even longer than they usually did. Tears prickled at the corners of Chris’ eyes at the sight. At all of Darren, everything he was seeing and everything he felt. It hit him like a tidal wave, holding him under and washing over him until he couldn’t think about anything else. His fingers stilled, his mouth dropped open, and he couldn’t stop the words from spilling from between his lips.
“You are so gorgeous,” he told Darren as he removed his fingers and climbed over Darren, lowering himself until they were fully pressed together. “You are seriously the hottest guy I have ever seen. But it’s not just that. You are…” He trailed off, the weight on his chest so unyielding and oppressive he could hardly manage to breathe let alone talk. Darren pressed a hand just above Chris’ heart.
“Do you feel it?” Darren whispered, his fingertips digging in. Chris nodded, choking down the lump in his throat.
“I do,” he managed to get out before kissing Darren hard on the lips. “You were right. It fucking hurts.” Darren groaned and put a hand on the back of Chris’ head to bring him in for another kiss. “I’m sorry, I just… I couldn’t feel anything for you. I couldn’t let myself think about you that way, but I love spending time with you and dorking out about anything and everything. I love acting with you. I loved just watching TV with you the other day and I loved talking with you while we ate pizza on my kitchen floor. I love how you can do leaps and strike ridiculous poses on the red carpet and then give the most thoughtful and insightful responses during interviews two seconds later. I love how you get excited about everything and how seriously you take your acting and your music. I love talking to you because it always puts me in a better mood.”
“What are you saying, Chris?” Darren asked, though the amused sparkle in his eyes said that he already knew.
“I have feelings for you. I think I probably always have, I just couldn’t let myself realize it,” Chris admitted, stroking a thumb over Darren’s cheek. Darren leaned into the touch and sighed with a little smile dancing at the corners of his mouth.
“Took you long enough to catch up with me,” he teased. Chris laughed and rolled his eyes a little before kissing Darren again, more desperately now that the need to actually be inside of this stunning man below him-the man who wanted him and had feelings for him, too-was overwhelming. “I am so crazy about you, but if you don’t start fucking me in the next five seconds, I might take it all back.”
“It’s going to be like that, huh?” Chris asked, though he was already sitting up and reaching for the condom.
“It’s going to be however we want it to be,” Darren replied softly. Chris’ heart gave yet another aching throb and he quickly rolled the condom onto himself and handed Darren the bottle of lube. Opening the bottle as he moved, Darren sat up and curled his fist around Chris’ cock, stroking him firmly a few times before handing back the bottle and stealing a kiss. Chris pushed Darren away with a smile until he was lying back on the bed. Chris spread his knees wide and lifted Darren’s legs until they were tented over his thighs. With one hand, Chris rubbed gentle circles around Darren’s asshole a few times before he shifted forward, dropping his weight onto his free hand, and lined up the head of his cock before slowly pushing in.
“Shit,” he hissed out as Darren locked his ankles around Chris’ hips, digging his heels into Chris’ ass and urging him forward. Darren felt so good, so tight and hot and he looked so fucking beautiful as he lay there while Chris moved on top of him.
Chris knew that he wasn’t going to last long. Even though he’d just come, there was something about this, the feel of Darren and the way he looked and all of the feelings coursing through him, that he knew it just wasn’t going to take as long as it should given the fact that it was his second orgasm of the day.
“You feel amazing,” Darren moaned, his feet digging in even harder and coming dangerously close to breaking Chris’ resolve to go slowly until Darren got accustomed to the feeling. “Honestly, I thought that I couldn't love anything more than having your cock in my mouth but-” He cut off with a moan as Chris hit his prostate. “But this… hng.”
Chris grabbed one of Darren’s hands and laced their fingers together, pressing it hard into the mattress as he leaned down to kiss Darren. His hips bucked forward steadily, angling just right to drag across Darren’s prostate with every single thrust.
“Darren,” Chris gasped, barely able to get out the words as he focused on the tight heat of Darren’s ass squeezing tight around him. “Look at me.”
Darren opened his eyes, a crease immediately forming between his eyebrows as he looked up at Chris with so much adoration pouring from him Chris could hardly keep from just collapsing on top of him, clutching and grasping and just being with him until…
“I love you,” Darren said. Chris didn’t miss a beat, just kept moving. He wanted to say so many things, but not right then. Not when they were both so close to coming. Not when words like that came out far too often without the proper meaning behind them. Chris raised back up until he could easily support himself with one hand and he wrapped the other around Darren’s half-hard cock.
“Come for me,” Chris said, increasing his own speed, feeling the familiar heat spreading through his hips, the tension in his balls increasing. He was going to come soon, but he wanted Darren to come first. He wanted to watch him fall apart.
“Fuck,” Darren gritted out, clamping down hard on Chris’ cock as he started using shorter strokes with the sole purpose of massaging Darren’s prostate with each little movement. Darren got fully hard quickly in Chris’ hand and Chris devoted every ounce of his effort to making Darren come hard. With each upstroke of his hand, he thumbed over the impossibly soft head of Darren’s cock. When Darren begged him to increase his speed, he did. And then finally it was happening. “Chris!”
Chris slowed his speed as Darren’s body writhed from the force of his orgasm, watching on as Darren’s cock shot streak after streak of come across their stomachs. He could feel Darren’s body clenching and shuddering from the aftershocks of his orgasm as Darren kept gripping down onto his cock at random intervals When Darren was twitching away from the sensation of Chris' hand on him, his efforts became focused on making himself come.
“You’re so fucking hot, Chris,” Darren said, his hips rocking just enough to move with Chris’ thrusts, but the rest of his body lying bonelessly on the mattress. “Come.”
Chris thrust hard four more times before stars exploded on the backs of his eyelids and he cried out. He rode out his orgasm as Darren whispered things to him and gently stroked his back. Even if he’d been held at gunpoint he couldn’t have repeated a single thing Darren had said to him then, but he could see the look on Darren’s face and could feel the reassuring hands on his flushed skin and knew that whatever it was, it’d been ridiculously sweet and entirely Darren.
“Oh my god,” Chris moaned, carefully pulling out before dropping onto the mattress beside Darren. Immediately, he was pulled into Darren’s arms and he could just barely feel kisses being pressed to the top of his head.
“That was amazing,” Darren said. Chris made a grunting noise of agreement and lightly patted at Darren’s back. Once he’d come down enough to be able to form a coherent thought, he pulled back slightly and pushed stray sweaty curls from Darren’s forehead.
“So, you love me?”
Darren laughed lightly and leaned into Chris’ touch.
“I do,” he replied with a nod. “And you don’t have to say it back. In fact, I’d rather you didn’t. The fact that you didn’t run screaming when I said it says enough for now.” Chris looked at him, studying his entire face and trying not to smile.
“You don’t want me to tell you that I love you?”
“I want you to tell me when you’re ready. If you’re ever ready. It'll mean more that way and I’ll know it was because you really wanted to say it, not because you felt like you had to,” Darren said with a shrug before again kissing the top of Chris’ head. “I really do, though.”
Chris nodded, his cheek pressed into the surprisingly soft hair on Darren’s chest, his fingers tracing shapes into the skin of Darren’s back. Maybe he did love Darren, maybe he didn’t. It was nice that he didn’t have to think about it right now. He knew that he had feelings for Darren. So many feelings that he honestly didn’t know what to do with them all. How to categorize them. If they even could be shoved into a known category.
“You do know what this means, don’t you?” Chris asked.
“What?”
“The days of our one-time things are officially behind us.”
“That’s okay,” Darren said. “I don’t think we ever really did right by the whole idea anyway.”
“Definitely not,” Chris laughed.
“You know what’s even better than one-time things?” Darren asked, continuing when Chris raised an eyebrow at him, “First-time things.”
“Is that so?”
“It’s so,” Darren said haughtily. Chris pulled back and looked up at Darren before leaning in to give him a quick kiss.
“I may or may not love you,” he said, hardly able to suppress his laughter.
“Music to my ears,” Darren replied with obviously forced cheesiness. Chris laughed loudly and slung a leg over Darren’s hips until he was hovering on top of him. “What’re you doing?”
“Well, by my count, the current standings are- Chris: two orgasms and Darren: one. I’m just looking to settle the score,” Chris shrugged.
“I am all kinds of okay with that,” Darren grinned, reaching up to cradle Chris’ head in both hands and pulling him down for a sweet kiss, their tongues just barely touching before Chris was pulling back.
“Good. Now how do you feel about getting started on those ‘first-time things’?”