These Four Walls [Oneshot]
Title: These Four Walls
Pairing: None, maybe smidges of Ryo/Shige if you want it to be there.
Genre: Gen
Rating: PG
Words: 1,395
Summary: Shige reflects.
Disclaimer: This is a work of [plausible] fiction that makes me zero profit.
Warnings: Complete introspection and no romance!
A/N: It's been nearly four years since I last wrote for this fandom, but this is my official farewell piece. I love NEWS more than ever, and I probably always will. However, I have officially shifted into original fiction, with one story published while I work hard toward even more. I'm not hiding my fanfic roots because I spent a decade playing around with other people's characters, and it's thanks to them I've become able to create my own. NEWS have kept me going through some of the hardest things I've ever experienced, and I could even say they gave me the courage to submit my first piece to a publisher. It's only fitting they be the ones to take me out. As they say:
もう最期まで 賽を振れ 願いを込めた フルスイングで
~*~*~*~
The afternoons don’t last long now that they’re well into October.
It makes sense-morning comes earlier, and the days are shorter. It’s autumn, and it happens every year.
Still, Shige feels a little guilty whenever he wakes up at noon now, and he takes to setting his alarm for eleven on his off days-for a time, anyway. Eventually it’ll stop bothering him, as it does every year.
It’s a perfect day to begin with coffee, and he goes through the comforting motions of brewing just enough for himself. It’s the start of a lonely season, but he’s come to appreciate the trade-off of it for the undeniable beauty of the turning leaves and gentling light. He makes sure to push open his blinds to enjoy what he can of his single-paned view of the world outside.
The coffee finishes quickly, and he stands with it, black as always, quietly observing his space.
Autumn is the season for reflection, he recalls, though not from where. He can see why; it’s easy to get caught up in one’s own head when the world is getting ready to sleep through the winter.
He has a lot to reflect on-ten years worth.
The thought makes him smile.
He looks around his apartment. He’s spent so many days and nights alone surrounded by these walls, so carefully decorated to suit him just so. They’ve seen him through the biggest changes of his young life.
Tears. Triumphs. Struggles. Sorrows.
Hopelessness and losses. Determination and promises. Heartache. And some of the truest relationships he can ever imagine.
He sips his coffee and lets the warmth seep into him slowly as he moves carefully out of the kitchen. He takes it to his couch and sinks down right in the middle, putting down a coaster for his mug.
This is the room that bore witness to the rebirth of NEWS. After the mayhem they had caused that night-Koyama, Massu, Tegoshi-the four of them had settled in here, exhausted, terrified, uncertain, and not wanting to go home. They had talked for hours. Not one of them had known what the future held in store for them, but all of them agreed on one thing-NEWS was going to be their future.
“The members finally match the letters,” one of them had pointed out, Shige doesn’t remember who anymore. But they had all laughed or smiled, and for Shige, it had given him his first idea that maybe this was truly how it was meant to be. He’s still a bit bitter about Tegoshi’s graffiti on his paper lamp, though.
Of course, he can’t think back on that night without remembering the ones who had left that day, the image of their backs as they’d walked out burned into his memory forever. He’s at peace with it now, but it was a rough road that had led him to it. The name change had been for his benefit, whatever he may have told the magazines about making a “fresh start” for the fans. He didn’t want that kanji there anymore, not when it meant having a connection with someone who could walk away so easily.
He still doesn’t know for sure if Nishikido-kun took it personally, but Nishikido-kun’s opinion no longer holds sway over him. In a way it’s a blessing, but there might still always be a layer of underlying hurt to think of just what-and whom-those two had turned their backs on. It was different from any of the others leaving; those two had chosen it.
His gaze lands on his extensive DVD shelf. All of NEWS’ DVDs are there. A slight smile tugs at his lips when he thinks that he’ll soon be making room for the one from their latest tour. Utsukon had been the most incredible experience of his career as an idol; he’d never felt so much love from the fans as he had then. But he’s even more excited about this one, their first tour of pure NEWS with no baggage.
He doesn’t really watch the DVDs-why would he after the first time, when he’d lived it himself? But he doesn’t do more than stare at the old ones either. He decides to challenge himself to change that right now, and sets his coffee down and marches over to the shelf, pulling one out before he can think twice.
Never Ending Wonderful Story. That was supposed to have been their restart. He doesn’t deny how they had all grown from and since then, and there are even things he doesn’t miss at all about that era in their lives. He still remembers it like it was yesterday…
He puts it back on the shelf. Confronting the past isn’t as hard as he imagined, and he goes through the rest of the old DVDs until his forgotten coffee is stone cold.
As Shige heads back into the kitchen to wash the dust off his hands and pour himself a fresh cup, he decides he is done reflecting on the past.
Everything is amazing now. Of course there are still difficulties and struggles, but even those are amazing. He stands now a twice-published author with manga and drama spinoffs in the works, a regular on a TV show and more popular than he could have ever been in the shadows of Yamashita-kun and Nishikido-kun. For the first time in his life, he feels like he belongs in this world, and with NEWS.
And he-they-will never stop moving full speed ahead to thank the fans for sticking with them.
He turns once again to survey his apartment and the view from the distant window. For so long, his thoughts about work always came with a heavy heart and a fake smile. Now he knows that he hasn’t worked so hard for nothing, that they’ve blown through the light at the end of the longest tunnel and are running straight for the sun.
Koyama, their so-called leader, who wants nothing more than to take everyone’s feelings and keep them safe and sound.
Massu, the heart and rock of NEWS, who will always do what is best, not what is easy.
Tegoshi, the source of inexhaustible energy, who will fight for NEWS with everything he has to achieve their goal.
And himself. Shige-the counterbalance to them all, who quietly brings everything together.
Maybe that was why they had all convened in his apartment the night they’d found out they were the only ones left. Of course, maybe they had just known they couldn’t burn off steam in Koyama’s family home.
Whatever the reason, it had happened here. And now, more than two years later, things are still getting better and better.
Who knows what’s next, he muses over another sip of coffee. Where there had only been limitations before, now there are endless possibilities.
Maybe they’ll get to do another television show together-one where the four of them are all of NEWS.
Maybe their next tour will be even longer, reaching even more places than ever before. Maybe he and Massu will finally get to realize their dream of celebrating their birthdays on stage.
Maybe at Countdown this year, the choreographers will be able to put them on the same stage as Yamashita-kun. They wouldn’t have minded last year; this year, they have even more to be proud of.
And maybe one day, Nishikido-kun will stop trying to use magazine blurbs and Maruyama to get him to make first contact. The man always has been a coward about uncomfortable situations, all too often at Shige’s expense. He understands that Nishikido-kun is trying in his own way, just as he understands that the man left when he did so he wouldn’t have to put the band and fans through another member withdrawal later on down the road. He’s long since forgiven him. But that doesn’t mean it’s not Shige’s turn to make things a little harder on him for a change.
He smiles to himself and drains the last of his coffee. Maybe he’ll use today to bring Yuto his portable dark room, since he has no need for it anymore. Photography was a way to pass the time on his own-he’s found his passion elsewhere now.
Ten years in the making… now he feels like he can finally get started.
Pairing: None, maybe smidges of Ryo/Shige if you want it to be there.
Genre: Gen
Rating: PG
Words: 1,395
Summary: Shige reflects.
Disclaimer: This is a work of [plausible] fiction that makes me zero profit.
Warnings: Complete introspection and no romance!
A/N: It's been nearly four years since I last wrote for this fandom, but this is my official farewell piece. I love NEWS more than ever, and I probably always will. However, I have officially shifted into original fiction, with one story published while I work hard toward even more. I'm not hiding my fanfic roots because I spent a decade playing around with other people's characters, and it's thanks to them I've become able to create my own. NEWS have kept me going through some of the hardest things I've ever experienced, and I could even say they gave me the courage to submit my first piece to a publisher. It's only fitting they be the ones to take me out. As they say:
もう最期まで 賽を振れ 願いを込めた フルスイングで
~*~*~*~
The afternoons don’t last long now that they’re well into October.
It makes sense-morning comes earlier, and the days are shorter. It’s autumn, and it happens every year.
Still, Shige feels a little guilty whenever he wakes up at noon now, and he takes to setting his alarm for eleven on his off days-for a time, anyway. Eventually it’ll stop bothering him, as it does every year.
It’s a perfect day to begin with coffee, and he goes through the comforting motions of brewing just enough for himself. It’s the start of a lonely season, but he’s come to appreciate the trade-off of it for the undeniable beauty of the turning leaves and gentling light. He makes sure to push open his blinds to enjoy what he can of his single-paned view of the world outside.
The coffee finishes quickly, and he stands with it, black as always, quietly observing his space.
Autumn is the season for reflection, he recalls, though not from where. He can see why; it’s easy to get caught up in one’s own head when the world is getting ready to sleep through the winter.
He has a lot to reflect on-ten years worth.
The thought makes him smile.
He looks around his apartment. He’s spent so many days and nights alone surrounded by these walls, so carefully decorated to suit him just so. They’ve seen him through the biggest changes of his young life.
Tears. Triumphs. Struggles. Sorrows.
Hopelessness and losses. Determination and promises. Heartache. And some of the truest relationships he can ever imagine.
He sips his coffee and lets the warmth seep into him slowly as he moves carefully out of the kitchen. He takes it to his couch and sinks down right in the middle, putting down a coaster for his mug.
This is the room that bore witness to the rebirth of NEWS. After the mayhem they had caused that night-Koyama, Massu, Tegoshi-the four of them had settled in here, exhausted, terrified, uncertain, and not wanting to go home. They had talked for hours. Not one of them had known what the future held in store for them, but all of them agreed on one thing-NEWS was going to be their future.
“The members finally match the letters,” one of them had pointed out, Shige doesn’t remember who anymore. But they had all laughed or smiled, and for Shige, it had given him his first idea that maybe this was truly how it was meant to be. He’s still a bit bitter about Tegoshi’s graffiti on his paper lamp, though.
Of course, he can’t think back on that night without remembering the ones who had left that day, the image of their backs as they’d walked out burned into his memory forever. He’s at peace with it now, but it was a rough road that had led him to it. The name change had been for his benefit, whatever he may have told the magazines about making a “fresh start” for the fans. He didn’t want that kanji there anymore, not when it meant having a connection with someone who could walk away so easily.
He still doesn’t know for sure if Nishikido-kun took it personally, but Nishikido-kun’s opinion no longer holds sway over him. In a way it’s a blessing, but there might still always be a layer of underlying hurt to think of just what-and whom-those two had turned their backs on. It was different from any of the others leaving; those two had chosen it.
His gaze lands on his extensive DVD shelf. All of NEWS’ DVDs are there. A slight smile tugs at his lips when he thinks that he’ll soon be making room for the one from their latest tour. Utsukon had been the most incredible experience of his career as an idol; he’d never felt so much love from the fans as he had then. But he’s even more excited about this one, their first tour of pure NEWS with no baggage.
He doesn’t really watch the DVDs-why would he after the first time, when he’d lived it himself? But he doesn’t do more than stare at the old ones either. He decides to challenge himself to change that right now, and sets his coffee down and marches over to the shelf, pulling one out before he can think twice.
Never Ending Wonderful Story. That was supposed to have been their restart. He doesn’t deny how they had all grown from and since then, and there are even things he doesn’t miss at all about that era in their lives. He still remembers it like it was yesterday…
He puts it back on the shelf. Confronting the past isn’t as hard as he imagined, and he goes through the rest of the old DVDs until his forgotten coffee is stone cold.
As Shige heads back into the kitchen to wash the dust off his hands and pour himself a fresh cup, he decides he is done reflecting on the past.
Everything is amazing now. Of course there are still difficulties and struggles, but even those are amazing. He stands now a twice-published author with manga and drama spinoffs in the works, a regular on a TV show and more popular than he could have ever been in the shadows of Yamashita-kun and Nishikido-kun. For the first time in his life, he feels like he belongs in this world, and with NEWS.
And he-they-will never stop moving full speed ahead to thank the fans for sticking with them.
He turns once again to survey his apartment and the view from the distant window. For so long, his thoughts about work always came with a heavy heart and a fake smile. Now he knows that he hasn’t worked so hard for nothing, that they’ve blown through the light at the end of the longest tunnel and are running straight for the sun.
Koyama, their so-called leader, who wants nothing more than to take everyone’s feelings and keep them safe and sound.
Massu, the heart and rock of NEWS, who will always do what is best, not what is easy.
Tegoshi, the source of inexhaustible energy, who will fight for NEWS with everything he has to achieve their goal.
And himself. Shige-the counterbalance to them all, who quietly brings everything together.
Maybe that was why they had all convened in his apartment the night they’d found out they were the only ones left. Of course, maybe they had just known they couldn’t burn off steam in Koyama’s family home.
Whatever the reason, it had happened here. And now, more than two years later, things are still getting better and better.
Who knows what’s next, he muses over another sip of coffee. Where there had only been limitations before, now there are endless possibilities.
Maybe they’ll get to do another television show together-one where the four of them are all of NEWS.
Maybe their next tour will be even longer, reaching even more places than ever before. Maybe he and Massu will finally get to realize their dream of celebrating their birthdays on stage.
Maybe at Countdown this year, the choreographers will be able to put them on the same stage as Yamashita-kun. They wouldn’t have minded last year; this year, they have even more to be proud of.
And maybe one day, Nishikido-kun will stop trying to use magazine blurbs and Maruyama to get him to make first contact. The man always has been a coward about uncomfortable situations, all too often at Shige’s expense. He understands that Nishikido-kun is trying in his own way, just as he understands that the man left when he did so he wouldn’t have to put the band and fans through another member withdrawal later on down the road. He’s long since forgiven him. But that doesn’t mean it’s not Shige’s turn to make things a little harder on him for a change.
He smiles to himself and drains the last of his coffee. Maybe he’ll use today to bring Yuto his portable dark room, since he has no need for it anymore. Photography was a way to pass the time on his own-he’s found his passion elsewhere now.
Ten years in the making… now he feels like he can finally get started.