Play The Game [2/2]
Title: Play The Game [2/2]
Author: FloweryMisha
Pairing: slight!KaiSoo, bff!BaekSoo
Warning: BoyxBoy love. Enough said.
Summary: It’s easier to destroy what you have and leave than to hold on and stay.
[1]
Jaejoong scored hat trick on the match and JYJ United won easily.
Kyungsoo almost dropped his phone when he found out about the result and a minute later, his phone rang loudly. He made a mistake of picking up because it was Jongin and he sounded nervous but Kyungsoo didn’t need to think anymore.
It was a yes.
He was getting dressed because Jongin was going to pick him up in less than twenty minutes. When his phone rang again, Kyungsoo just received the call absently, thinking that it might be Jongin.
“Yes?”
“Kyungsoo-yah, are you ready for the Cassies tonight?”
Kyungsoo ouch-ed voicelessly at Baekhyun’s voice. He completely forgot that Baekhyun had asked him to go to the gathering with him. Kyungsoo pressed a hand on his forehead as he turned around, his brain worked hard to make up reasons.
“Baek...yeah, I don’t think I can make it tonight...”
“Huh? Why?”
“I-“ Kyungsoo crossed his fingers because he sucked at lying. “I need to get my assignment done...”
“On Saturday night? Kyungsoo, you do not study on Saturday night.”
Kyungsoo wanted to cry at his lame excuse. “I-I need to go to the bookstore and get some books and...and coffee...”
“I can go with you. Why didn’t you tell me?”
Crap, Kyungsoo buried his face on his hand. Then suddenly, it occurred to him. “Your gathering with other Cassiopeias is more important.”
Baekhyun fell silent on the other line.
“Not that it’s not important to me,” Kyungsoo added. “But my assignment...”
“Ah, I understand... Okay then. Um, see you soon?”
Kyungsoo felt like smashing his head against the wall after Baekhyun hung up. Did he just...lie? Sure, he lied a lot about his feelings, but... Oh God, Kyungsoo facepalmed. I really did it. He continued to get dressed because Jongin could arrive any minute now. His feelings were a mess and suddenly, he wasn’t sure if it was a good idea to go with Jongin.
Was it too late to cancel...?
However, all of his doubts dissipated instantly to God knew where when Kyungsoo opened the door and Jongin gave him the gentlest smile he had ever seen. Something bubbled within Kyungsoo. Something so foreign that surpassed his brotherly feelings for Baekhyun and his fondness for Jaejoong.
Something that only happened when he saw Jongin.
Kyungsoo blinked when Jongin handed him a bouquet of roses. “What is this...?”
“Flowers?” Jongin replied in embarrassment.
“I know,” Kyungsoo chuckled. “But why...?”
“Well, it’s our first date,” Jongin said sheepishly. “And JYJ United won...these two reasons are enough for a celebration.”
Kyungsoo’s expression faltered at the mention of the club and he grimaced. It reminded him of Baekhyun and Kyungsoo’s feelings of guilt resurfaced. Jongin examined his face momentarily before breaking into a smile.
“Are you sure you want to go?”
“Eh?”
“DBSK FC is having a match, right? I can drop you off to meet your friends at the cafe.”
Kyungsoo looked up to search for a hint of anger or insincerity in Jongin’s tone, but there was none. Instead, he got a really kind smile in return, so kind that Kyungsoo felt like crying. Kyungsoo let Jongin touched his arm and the latter caressed him with his thumb, as if to say that it was all right. Kyungsoo slowly brought the flowers close to his face and relished the smell of fresh roses.
He wanted to know him more.
“It’s okay,” he softly said. “I will go on a date with you tonight, Jongin-ah.”
***
With Baekhyun having a gathering, Kyungsoo didn’t have to worry about being caught.
They intensely texted each other through the night and Kyungsoo made sure that Baekhyun was still at the cafe with his friends.
I wish you were here, though, Kyungsoo-yah :(
Kyungsoo chewed on his lower lip as he tucked his phone back into his pocket. He told himself to not feel guilty and enjoy the dinner with Jongin.
Surprisingly, their first date went okay.
It was crystal clear that Kyungsoo had his mind someplace else, but Jongin kept on asking questions to make him distracted. When they were on their way home, Jongin asked him once again if Kyungsoo would like to meet his friends and that he was more than willing to take him there, but he still got a firm head shake in return.
“Thank you,” Kyungsoo uttered softly when they had reached his house. “Be careful on your way home, Jongin-ah.” He was about to get out of the car when Jongin called his name out.
“Kyungsoo-yah?”
“Yeah?”
Jongin visibly sunk his teeth into his lower lip for a second before asking, “Can I ask you out again when DBSK FC isn’t having a match?”
Kyungsoo batted his eyelashes rapidly before gawking. “What...?”
“Well, I can tell that you really wanted to see the match,” Jongin chuckled awkwardly and shrugged. “And I feel bad for it. I mean, I would throw anything else away for you, including JYJ, but...maybe you’re different. Do you feel like giving me another chance...?”
Kyungsoo really gawked this time because Jongin had it all wrong. He wasn’t thinking about the match-he was thinking about Baekhyun. Kyungsoo didn’t really know how to explain to Jongin, but the tanned male looked really nervous and maybe he didn’t have to.
It’s not you, Kyungsoo thought as he extended a hand to caress Jongin’s cheek with a thumb. He hoped it was calming because it did when Jongin did it earlier on his arm. It’s really not you.
“Kyungsoo-yah...?” Jongin’s voice cracked.
Kyungsoo smiled shyly and nodded.
“Okay.”
Jongin smiled widely and it was then Kyungsoo realized that his smile really meant a lot to him more than anything.
Even more than Baekhyun’s.
***
Slowly, but surely, they had gotten closer.
Kyungsoo didn’t know exactly when, but before he knew it, his days were filled with Jongin and Jongin’s smile and Jongin’s texts and Jongin’s calls and just Jongin.
He didn’t tell anyone about his relationship-Kyungsoo wasn’t even sure if they were really dating-especially to Baekhyun. But Kyungsoo was happy. There was something huge and warm that flooded his chest every time he met the younger male. Kyungsoo was starting to let Jongin hold his hand and the way their fingers brushed against each other made his heart stutter.
Kyungsoo was starting to lie more and more often to Baekhyun.
Every time he turned down Baekhyun’s invitation of hanging out, his guilt would build up in his chest. He wished there was a better way to say “There’s this really nice Orion and I think you should meet him...”, but then he shook his head hard because he knew exactly what Baekhyun’s reaction would be. Kyungsoo reasoned that he was a bit occupied with assignments at the moment and Baekhyun thankfully bought it. It wasn’t entirely a lie because he really had an assignment.
They were spending some time in the cafeteria that day.
Baekhyun looked irritated, judging from the way he glared so hard at his screen. If eyes could produce laser beams, his phone probably would have melted. Kyungsoo silently hoped that it wasn’t any of the soccer clubs related, but knowing Baekhyun, it was either Girls Generation or DBSK FC.
It was the second one, of course.
“I can’t believe this,” he hissed in anger.
Kyungsoo inwardly sighed. “What is it...?”
“Changmin lost by a few points,” Baekhyun grunted. “There’s no way Jaejoong would have topped him! It’s outrageous!”
Kyungsoo carefully took the phone out of Baekhyun’s grip. His best friend was reading a famous website of online voting-which made his heart sank, because he voted for Jaejoong the other night. It was a stupid vote of who looked more handsome in a white suit-really, really stupid. Changmin and Jaejoong used to be close friends and Kyungsoo didn’t think anything would change that fact. Besides, it wasn’t more than an online voting. It didn’t mean anything. It wasn’t like if Jaejoong won then Changmin would die or something. Kyungsoo pressed his lips into a thin line and shrugged casually. “It’s just a vote...”
“A vote?” Baekhyun’s eyes widened in disbelief. “It’s just a vote to you? So Jaejoong winning is okay to you? JYJ United is better-is that what you’re saying?”
Kyungsoo froze. “No,” he deadpanned. “I’m just saying-maybe his fans just happened to vote him more-“
“Yeah, they’re probably cheating by making several accounts-“
“-which is not wrong at all,” Kyungsoo interrupted. “There’s nothing wrong about wanting your idol win-“
“Why are you siding with them?” Baekhyun cried. “I thought you’re my friend!”
“I am your friend, Baek,” Kyungsoo said in exasperation. “Please, let’s just-let’s just drop this subject. I’m sorry, okay? I didn’t mean to. If you want, I can help you creating new accounts to vote for Changmin. It’s not a big deal.”
Baekhyun ended up going home without him and Kyungsoo felt like pulling his hair out of his scalp.
He tried to call him, but Baekhyun refused to pick up.
Kyungsoo was so desperate that he ended up going to the bookstore to see Jongin. It seemed like he arrived on time when his shift ended, because Jongin had already put on his jacket. The tanned male raised his eyebrows upon seeing Kyungsoo.
“Hey. You didn’t tell me you were coming...”
Kyungsoo didn’t say anything, but his eyes were teary and it was enough for Jongin to understand. The taller of the two placed his hand on Kyungsoo’s nape, wordlessly pulling him closer to his chest. Kyungsoo choked and Jongin slowly dragged him to an empty aisle, letting the former sobbed in his arms.
The way Jongin ran his hand on his hair was calming. Kyungsoo was grateful as he silently gasped for air, doing his best to not make a sound. It didn’t take long for him to stop crying. Kyungsoo felt safe in Jongin’s arms. There was something natural about the way they were pressed against each other because it managed to distract Kyungsoo from anything else.
Kyungsoo cracked his eyes open and he felt Jongin’s thumbs were wiping away his tears. “I’m sorry,” he whispered.
“You don’t need to be sorry,” Jongin murmured. “Did anyone hurt you?”
Kyungsoo pressed his lips together as Jongin lifted his chin up with his fingers to meet their eyes. Jongin’s orbs were filled with genuine concern and Kyungsoo’s heart grinded to a halt because they were extremely close and their breaths were on each other and Jongin’s lips were just inches apart-
“Ahh!”
Kyungsoo jumped backward but he didn’t manage to get far because Jongin’s hand on his back was firm. Both of them turned their heads to the source of the voice, only to find Chanyeol grinning impishly. Kyungsoo blushed and distanced himself from Jongin.
“I’m sorry,” Chanyeol said although Kyungsoo knew he wasn’t.
Jongin only snickered at his friend and reached for Kyungsoo’s hand.
“Come on,” he said. “I’ll take you home.”
***
It turned out that Jongin didn’t bring his car, so they took the bus home.
Kyungsoo didn’t feel like going home so soon. He wanted to wander around some more with Jongin, but then he reminded himself what would happen if one of Baekhyun’s (hardcore) friends noticed him. Kyungsoo must have been lost in his own world for quite a while when Jongin shook his arm in an amused expression. “Y-yes?”
“Zitao said he’s home. How about we go back to my apartment first and take the car?”
Kyungsoo wanted to say that he was okay with public transportation, but going back to Jongin’s apartment meant more time to spend together so he nodded.
To hell with Cassies.
Jongin lived in the apartment together with his roommate, Zitao. The male was obviously Chinese and Kyungsoo wondered if one day he could introduce him to Baekhyun so that he would be able to practice his Mandarin daily. Not that Kyungsoo doubted Baekhyun’s ability, though. It was a wonder how Baekhyun managed to memorize all of those kanji.
“Zitao, this is Kyungsoo,” Jongin introduced. “Kyungsoo, Zitao.”
“Your boyfriend?” Zitao asked with a thick accent and Kyungsoo blushed in his track.
“It depends,” Jongin only smiled as he sent Kyungsoo a meaningful glance. “I’m going to drive Kyungsoo home. Do you want me to grab dinner for us?”
“We still have some instant noodles.”
Kyungsoo’s face turned horror. “It’s not healthy to eat instant noodles everyday.”
“Not everyday, though,” Zitao frowned as he recalled with his fingers. “It’s um, tonight is only the fourth time this week.”
“B-but it’s Friday,” Kyungsoo cried and hastily shrugged off his jacket. His motherly instinct was working alright. “What do you guys have?”
“Where?”
“In your pants. In the refrigerator, of course,” Kyungsoo deadpanned. He didn’t wait for any reply as Kyungsoo made his way to the kitchen and straight to the refrigerator. “Oh good, there are eggs. Jongin-ah, do you have rice?”
“Yeah.”
“Good. I hope omelettes are fine. Or scrambled eggs? Which one do you prefer? It’s not exactly a proper dinner but with the ingredients, I can only make that.”
Zitao beamed at Kyungsoo. “You’ll cook for us?”
“Why not? I’m starving anyway,” Kyungsoo said and turned to Jongin shyly. “That is, um, if you don’t mind driving me home later?”
“Of course not, but...are you sure? Are your parents okay?”
“As long as I go home before eleven, yeah.”
Kyungsoo managed to make something simple yet edible from the lack of ingredients he had. When he served the food on the dining table, Zitao dug in like there was no tomorrow and muttered something along the lines of ‘Chen should meet you and learn how to cook from your boyfriend, Jongin-ah’. Kyungsoo couldn’t help but feeling proud when he saw them shoving the food into their mouths.
Jongin caught his gaze and smiled as he chewed.
Kyungsoo happily smiled back.
Zitao then offered himself to wash the dishes when they were done eating and Jongin took Kyungsoo to the living room.
“Fifteen more minutes,” Kyungsoo mumbled lazily as he patted his stomach. “I’m still full.”
Jongin laughed at his expression and ruffled Kyungsoo’s hair caringly. “Anytime you want me.”
Kyungsoo tried to hide the fact that his heart was thumping so fast like it was about to explode with a hum. “So, is Zitao also an Orion...?”
“Zitao? No, he’s a Shawol,” Jongin said and noticed the confusion plastered on Kyungsoo’s face. “He’s been supporting Shinee City since he was in high school. Chen, his boyfriend, is an Orion, though.”
Kyungsoo’s mouth went dry at the fact. “Really...? Did they ever get into a fight?”
“Well, it’s not a relationship if it doesn’t have one.”
“No, I mean...even if they stan different clubs?”
Jongin’s eyes softened at his question. “They fought, but as long as I know, it was never about the clubs.”
“Oh,” Kyungsoo whispered. He leaned his head back on the couch and stared at the ceiling. Kyungsoo felt Jongin shifting beside him before leaning forward to turn on the audio with a remote. Their shoulders brushed slightly when Jongin leaned back beside him and Kyungsoo’s heart started again. “Whose song is this?”
“Effects,” Jongin answered. “You never heard of them?”
“Ugh, I’ve been listening to Girls Generation all my life because Baekhyun-“
“Who’s Baekhyun?”
Kyungsoo immediately fell silent. He could feel Jongin turned his head to stare at him and Kyungsoo gulped. “Baek...? He’s...someone who wouldn’t approve us.” Kyungsoo slowly craned his neck to catch Jongin’s questioning gaze. “He’s my best friend. And a hardcore Cassiopeia. And a hardcore Sone, too.”
“Was he the one who kept on glaring to our table the other night? The one with the eyeliner?”
Kyungsoo shouldn’t really smile, but he just found it amusing. “Yeah...”
“And Chanyeol thought he was hitting on him.” Jongin’s shoulders were shaking as he laughed and waved a hand dismissively at Kyungsoo’s horror expression. “Pardon me for asking, but...did you have a fight with him? Was it why you cried?”
Kyungsoo’s eyes were getting distant as he stared at the audio player. This Effects group was good, he absently thought. “I was hurt when he badmouthed Jaejoong, but...there was nothing I could do about it. I mean, sometimes...the reason why he hated Jaejoong just didn’t make sense to me and I was like...why? I like him a lot...so he quit DBSK and joined JYJ, but it didn’t mean I have to follow Baekhyun and hate Jaejoong because of that...”
“Did you ever tell Baekhyun that?”
“I couldn’t,” Kyungsoo shook his head. “I don’t want to lose him.”
“It doesn’t mean he can treat you like that.”
“He’s not treating me badly,” Kyungsoo said defensively, even though he himself wasn’t sure.
“If he’s really your friend, he wouldn’t do that. I mean, even if I were such a hardcore Orion-which I’m quite sure I am-I wouldn’t kick Zitao out of the apartment or try to poison him in his sleep.”
“That’s awful,” Kyungsoo’s eyes widened.
“It’s just an example,” Jongin hastily added. “I don’t want you to be hurt. I don’t want you to be treated badly.”
Kyungsoo’s eyes lingered on Jongin for a few moments before he spoke. “You never treat me badly,” he whispered as he caressed the back of his hand on Jongin’s cheek. “Despite the fact that I’m a...half Cassie and half Orion-“ Jongin chuckled. “-but you’ve always been so kind...”
Their eyes locked.
“I don’t deserve you,” Kyungsoo whispered.
“It’s not a matter of who deserves who,” Jongin sternly said as he took Kyungsoo’s hand. “What more important is, what do you feel about me?”
Kyungsoo’s throat went dry at the question and he somehow wished he could take back his words. He deserved Jongin....right? Kyungsoo opened his mouth to answer, but he still needed a few moments to finally do it.
“Like...”
Jongin waited.
“Want...”
Kyungsoo’s eyes became teary.
“Need...”
“And it’s all that I need to know,” Jongin leaned forward to press their foreheads together. “I’m not playing a game with you, Kyungsoo-yah. The moment I saw you that night, I just knew it was you.”
“I’m scared,” Kyungsoo sniffled. “I’m scared, Jongin.”
“No one’s going to hurt you. I’m not going to let anyone do that to you.”
And then Jongin kissed him.
Kyungsoo’s fear was gone the moment Jongin shifted their positions to get a good angle to deepen the kiss and a hum-or was it a moan, Kyungsoo wasn’t sure-escaped his lips as he parted his lips to let Jongin run a tongue inside. The way Jongin kissed him was just tenderly sweet and Kyungsoo wasn’t able to think of anything else but Jongin. He searched for Jongin’s fingers and the latter willingly grabbed Kyungsoo’s and their hands didn’t untangle, not even until they pulled away for air, chests heaving, and eyes never left each other.
That moment, Kyungsoo also knew that Jongin was the one.
***
Jongin told Kyungsoo to promote him the best Girls Generation album and in return, he lent his boyfriend (yes, it was official) his Effects album.
Kyungsoo’s mouth formed a small ‘o’ when he realized that it was actually written as f(x).
By the time Kyungsoo got home that night, there was already a text message from Baekhyun on his cellphone.
Wanna watch DBSK match together tomorrow night?
Kyungsoo bit his inner cheek for a second before sighing. Okay, he sent a reply and fell onto his bed. Kyungsoo curled into a ball and smiled to himself as the memories of his first kiss(es) with Jongin replayed all over again like a broken record in his mind. He fell into a deep slumber after sending Jongin a goodnight text and lots of xoxo.
Baekhyun never apologized if he had ever done something wrong, but it had always been that way. Sometimes Kyungsoo wondered if it was also his fault for letting Baekhyun did that since they were kids. Nonetheless, the male was just grateful if his best friend still wanted to talk to him. Lately, their friendship hadn’t been the same, but it was probably just a phase they had to face.
Kyungsoo didn’t tell Jongin that he was going out that night to meet Baekhyun.
That was why he was shocked when he saw Jongin with his friends were at the same cafe.
They were obviously there for dinner, because none of them were clad in club jerseys. Zitao was the first one to spot him and the Chinese male waved his hand excitedly. Kyungsoo froze on his track as Jongin glanced over his shoulder. His grip tightened on the strap of his bag and his heart ached at how nonchalant the gaze his boyfriend gave him, but they needed to act that way.
Kyungsoo was grateful that Jongin stayed quiet. He lowered his head as he walked past his boyfriend and his friends to the table where Baekhyun was.
“Did you just...?” Baekhyun asked in suspicion as he eyed the table across them. “They’re Orions, right?”
“I-I don’t know,” Kyungsoo did his best to hide his surprise at the fact that Baekhyun knew who they were. “Are they...?”
“Like I would forget our enemies,” Baekhyun rolled his eyes and patted the empty chair beside him. “Come, the match is gonna start in a few minutes.”
Kyungsoo tried to be calm, but he couldn’t stop fidgeting the whole time. Zitao kept on throwing glances at him and he almost cried in frustration because Jongin should’ve done something about it and because Baekhyun kept on glaring at Chanyeol and the others as if to tell him to stop glancing to their table. He carefully took out his phone out of his bag and decided to text Jongin.
I’m sorry, Jongin-ah...
Jongin looked down at his phone and started typing something. Within a few seconds, a new reply came in his inbox.
You could just tell Baekhyun we’re dating.
Kyungsoo went pale.
I can’t...
Jongin clenched his teeth.
I’m here, aren’t I? I won’t let him hurt you.
Kyungsoo chewed on his lower lip.
Jongin-ah, please...
“Who are you texting?”
Kyungsoo almost jumped in his seat and repeatedly pressed back button until it displayed his home. “No one. I was just...browsing.”
“Browsing?” Baekhyun frowned. “Is the match boring?”
“I-“ Kyungsoo almost groaned in desperation. “Baek, please, don’t start-“
“Start what??”
The other Cassies were starting to stare and Kyungsoo wanted the ground to just swallow him whole. It didn’t help at all knowing that Jongin and the others were also staring at them worriedly. Kyungsoo immediately regretted everything and took a deep breath to calm down. “It’s nothing. I-I’m sorry, Baek, I’m going home...”
“Wait! If you have something on your mind, just spill it!” Baekhyun snapped. “What did you mean by ‘don’t start’??”
“It’s nothing, okay???”
Baekhyun seemed a bit taken aback at his harsh reply.
Kyungsoo grabbed his bag with an awful feeling and when he was about to pass Jongin and the others, his boyfriend stood up. Kyungsoo didn’t know why he let Jongin halted his movement-moreover in front of Baekhyun and the other Cassies. His insides were almost bursting out as he leaned his head on Jongin’s chest.
“Take me home,” he sobbed weakly. “Please...”
“Okay,” Jongin placed a hand on the back of his head. “Don’t cry, it’s okay...”
“Wait, why are you-“ Baekhyun cried indignantly, his voice was loud enough for the room to hear. “He’s an Orion, Kyungsoo!”
“Stop it, Baek!” Kyungsoo exclaimed helplessly as he turned around. “He’s my boyfriend, okay?”
Baekhyun froze in his seat and Kyungsoo immediately regretted not being able to hold back his emotions. However, it was too late to take it back. Kyungsoo had enough. He really didn’t want Jongin to be badmouthed by his best friend. Baekhyun could do it to Jaejoong, but not Jongin.
“I’m not talking to you anymore,” Baekhyun stated in irritation. “You’ve been lying to me.”
A disbelief tear fell on Kyungsoo’s cheek as he stared at Baekhyun. “Why do you think I’ve been lying to you...? Because I knew it would be
like this...”
“Stop. You’re not my friend anymore. You stopped liking DBSK means you stopped being my friend.”
“I didn’t stop-“
“Well, getting into a relationship with him is considered the same-“
“You know what?” Kyungsoo said in a hurtful tone and clutched his chest. “People didn’t stop being friends just because they stopped liking the same thing...but I guess you can have it your way.”
With that, the doe eyed male turned around to leave and Jongin followed closely behind him.
Baekhyun didn’t even try to stop him.
***
Baekhyun stopped talking to him after that.
It saddened Kyungsoo to no end when he saw Baekhyun in the university and the latter looked away when their eyes met. Kyungsoo was miserable. He told his parents he was going to sleep at Baekhyun’s house on the weekend while he actually went to Jongin’s apartment. Kyungsoo just didn’t want to be alone because if he was, he wouldn’t be able to stop thinking about it and he would end up crying.
Zitao slammed Jongin’s laptop close when he saw Kyungsoo teared up at Baekhyun’s blog. Baekhyun had been writing in Chinese and Kyungsoo somehow had a feeling it was about him. The translation application wasn’t accurate, but Kyungsoo wasn’t that dumb. He knew mocking and insulting when he read one. Add that to the fact that Zitao had just shut the laptop.
Kyungsoo spent the rest of his weekend on Jongin’s bedroom. The male wasn’t there all the time because he needed to work, but somehow the scent of Jongin in the room helped him to calm down and Kyungsoo fell asleep easier that way. Jongin hadn’t asked him anything and Kyungsoo didn’t think he would be able to answer if his boyfriend ever did. However, on the third day of his silent lamenting, Jongin just needed to know.
“Are we breaking up?”
Kyungsoo slowly looked up in shock. “Wh-what...?”
Jongin sighed softly as he laid down beside Kyungsoo. The former’s hand on his shoulder was firm as they faced each other. “I hate to see you like this... If we break up, you’re gonna be able to talk to him again. Your friendship will be restored...”
Kyungsoo visibly tensed. Jongin reached out for his hand and intertwined their fingers together. Kyungsoo’s eyes fluttered when he felt the tanned male pressing his lips on the inside of his wrist, as if to feel his pulse. Jongin peppered a few more kisses before sighing.
“I’m okay,” Jongin murmured. “I’m really going to be okay.”
But Kyungsoo knew he wasn’t.
“Don’t say that,” Kyungsoo whispered sadly. “Don’t push me away...take it back. Take it back, Jongin-ah.”
Jongin bitterly smiled and pulled Kyungsoo closer to his chest. “Do you really want me to take it back...?”
“Yes...”
“Then I’m not letting you go, Kyungsoo-yah.”
Kyungsoo closed his eyes as he leaned into the touch.
“I’m not going to give up on you.”
“Because you’re not playing with me,” Kyungsoo whispered. “You’re serious with me.”
“Yes,” Jongin murmured against his lips. “Yes, I’m dead serious with you.”
***
It had been a few weeks after that and Kyungsoo finally came to a decision that he needed to confront Baekhyun.
He was helplessly in love with Jongin, but it didn’t mean that he was willing to let Baekhyun go for Jongin in return. No. Everything could go hand in hand, in balance, if only Baekhyun was willing to open up his mind.
When Baekhyun stepped out of his class, Kyungsoo quickly approached him. The latter knew a rejection when he saw one, but he wasn’t going to give up that easily. Kyungsoo followed Baekhyun until they reached an empty part of the building and he took the opportunity to grab the latter’s arm.
“Baek, please talk to me.”
“Why should I?” Baekhyun grunted in dismay, but he didn’t look convincing.
“Because I don’t want to lose you,” Kyungsoo said and it got Baekhyun to stare at him. He shifted his gaze to his shoes before swallowing thickly. “But I need you to stop being selfish, Baek.”
Baekhyun opened his mouth to protest but Kyungsoo interrupted him before he was able to do so.
“You always badmouth Jaejoong,” Kyungsoo said in half exasperation. “But you do know that he’s my idol, right? Do you have any idea how much you hurt me whenever you accused him of something? It pained me badly because I wanted to say something, I wanted to stand up for him, but I was afraid. I was too scared to lose you-gosh, you’re the closest thing I have to a brother. But-but please, Baek, do I ever badmouth your idol...?”
Baekhyun held his breath.
“Do I ever blame DBSK for making Jaejoong quit...? Do I ever say bad things about Changmin...? Do I ever, ever complain about the fans of Girls Generation cheated on some popularity contest or something...? Do I...?”
Kyungsoo’s breath became ragged and Baekhyun only stared mutely at him.
“I’m in love with an Orion,” he whispered. “I know you’re going to be disgusted and roll your eyes and everything at that fact. But what was worse was that I tried pushing him away. He didn’t force me to stay, Baek. I was the one who insisted to stay. He was even willing to trade his happiness of our relationship for you, so that I could smile again. How can I not love him...?”
Baekhyun was still quiet and Kyungsoo dragged a hand down his face. Neither of them made a sound until Baekhyun pursed his lips and exhaled loudly. “I’m sorry.”
Kyungsoo blinked. “Huh?”
Baekhyun bashfully dropped his gaze. “I said I’m sorry...”
Kyungsoo brought a hand to his mouth in disbelief. Did his best friend just...?
“I don’t want to lose you too,” Baekhyun muttered softly.
Silence descended upon them and Kyungsoo braved himself to take a few steps closer to Baekhyun. He extended a hand to touch the other male, but hesitated halfway and pulled his hand back. Baekhyun simply stared at him and Kyungsoo wasn’t sure if it was rejection or just uncertainty.
“I did that because...I just didn’t want you to leave me,” Baekhyun continued. “I thought by doing all of that, you wouldn’t change your mind and keep on agreeing with me...”
“I’m not going to leave you, Baekhyun-ah,” Kyungsoo really touched Baekhyun’s arm this time. “We’re still going to be friends even if you’re a hardcore Sone and I suddenly become Effects fan.”
“Effects? What’s that?”
“Nevermind,” Kyungsoo shook his head and smiled. Baekhyun smiled back and a huge wave of relief washed over Kyungsoo’s entire body. Baekhyun took Kyungsoo’s hand in his and tightened his grip.
“So,” Baekhyun started again after moments of silence. “Is he treating you well?”
Kyungsoo’s expression brightened at the thought of Jongin. “Yeah. Yeah, he is...”
“Good,” Baekhyun gave him a look. “Tell him if he ever hurt you, I’ll hunt him down.”
A chuckle. “What about telling him yourself? You’re my best friend, after all.”
“Ugh, no,” Baekhyun instinctively replied and groaned at Kyungsoo’s sad face. “I mean, not at the moment. It takes time to accept all of this, okay?”
Nonetheless, Kyungsoo felt as if the burden had been taken off of his chest and he laughed as he leaned forward to hug Baekhyun.
“Thank you,” he whispered softly. “Thank you, Baek.”
Baekhyun said nothing in reply, but the way he hugged Kyungsoo back was enough for an answer.
***
Jongin definitely didn’t see it coming.
He let out a yelp when Kyungsoo lunged to him, causing both of them to stumble backward. Jongin managed to balance himself before both of them fell onto the floor and he wasn’t even given the chance to breathe when he felt a pair of lips searched his longingly. Jongin hummed in protest, but he gave in by kissing his boyfriend back and took the opportunity to pin him against the wall in revenge for almost making him fall.
When Jongin pulled away, he noticed that Kyungsoo’s lips were trembling, but the latter didn’t really give him a chance to think as he leaned forward to kiss Jongin more. Jongin willingly received the kiss, liking his boyfriend’s sudden eagerness even though he wanted to ask him what had happened. Their lips met again, softer this time and Jongin slowly pulled away. Thankfully, the bookstore wasn’t crowded yet and Jongin was working on the aisle where there was no CCTV.
“Someone’s in a good mood,” Jongin mumbled against Kyungsoo’s mouth, the latter’s lips were glistening with saliva.
Kyungsoo licked his lips before nuzzling into Jongin’s neck. “I love you, Jongin-ah.”
It was unexpected for Jongin, judging from the way he pulled away slightly and the way he stared sternly at Kyungsoo. Something was forming within Jongin’s black orbs-questions? Confusion? But Kyungsoo shook his head at him.
“I’m not playing,” Kyungsoo whispered and his eyes softened. “I’m dead serious with you, Jongin-ah...”
Jongin caught the determination and honesty in his boyfriend’s eyes before curving his lips upward.
End.
Baekhyun asked him what he was going to do that night and Kyungsoo honestly answered that he was going to the cafe to watch the match of JYJ United versus SuJu United.
Ever since that day, Baekhyun had become more open minded about the things Kyungsoo liked. It was true that he still needed some time to accept all of it, but Kyungsoo was glad Baekhyun didn’t get irritated as easily as before. He remembered catching Baekhyun’s disapproving gaze at the f(x) album in his room, but his best friend said nothing. Kyungsoo smiled. He definitely would try to make Baekhyun liked the group.
None of them had expected Baekhyun would make an appearance that night.
Kyungsoo’s jaw dropped as Baekhyun deliberately sat beside him. Jongin, Zitao and Jongdae (Chen’s real name) seemed to be as shocked as him, but not with Chanyeol (the male unconsciously tidied his hair with his hands).
“What?” Baekhyun asked sheepishly. “Thought I’d join the crowd. I never really liked SuJu United anyway. Besides, Park Yoochun is kind of hot...”
The tension immediately dissolved into laughter. Zitao and Jongdae took turns asking Baekhyun while Chanyeol gave the couple an annoying stare because he had been wanting to talk to him and they kept on interrupting him.
Kyungsoo smiled happily at Baekhyun. When Baekhyun looked at him, he mouthed his best friend a silent ‘thank you’. He was really grateful that Baekhyun was willing to try for him, despite the fact that he hated other clubs. Baekhyun only smiled in return before finally paying attention to Chanyeol (poor Chanyeol, he was really nervous when Baekhyun finally stared at him).
“Hey,” Jongin said softly into his ear. “Someone’s in a good mood.”
Kyungsoo turned to look at Jongin before leaning forward to kiss him.
“Yeah,” he whispered with a smile. “Yeah, I am.”
because this is just fiction and I wish she didn't stop talking to me
Author: FloweryMisha
Pairing: slight!KaiSoo, bff!BaekSoo
Warning: BoyxBoy love. Enough said.
Summary: It’s easier to destroy what you have and leave than to hold on and stay.
[1]
Jaejoong scored hat trick on the match and JYJ United won easily.
Kyungsoo almost dropped his phone when he found out about the result and a minute later, his phone rang loudly. He made a mistake of picking up because it was Jongin and he sounded nervous but Kyungsoo didn’t need to think anymore.
It was a yes.
He was getting dressed because Jongin was going to pick him up in less than twenty minutes. When his phone rang again, Kyungsoo just received the call absently, thinking that it might be Jongin.
“Yes?”
“Kyungsoo-yah, are you ready for the Cassies tonight?”
Kyungsoo ouch-ed voicelessly at Baekhyun’s voice. He completely forgot that Baekhyun had asked him to go to the gathering with him. Kyungsoo pressed a hand on his forehead as he turned around, his brain worked hard to make up reasons.
“Baek...yeah, I don’t think I can make it tonight...”
“Huh? Why?”
“I-“ Kyungsoo crossed his fingers because he sucked at lying. “I need to get my assignment done...”
“On Saturday night? Kyungsoo, you do not study on Saturday night.”
Kyungsoo wanted to cry at his lame excuse. “I-I need to go to the bookstore and get some books and...and coffee...”
“I can go with you. Why didn’t you tell me?”
Crap, Kyungsoo buried his face on his hand. Then suddenly, it occurred to him. “Your gathering with other Cassiopeias is more important.”
Baekhyun fell silent on the other line.
“Not that it’s not important to me,” Kyungsoo added. “But my assignment...”
“Ah, I understand... Okay then. Um, see you soon?”
Kyungsoo felt like smashing his head against the wall after Baekhyun hung up. Did he just...lie? Sure, he lied a lot about his feelings, but... Oh God, Kyungsoo facepalmed. I really did it. He continued to get dressed because Jongin could arrive any minute now. His feelings were a mess and suddenly, he wasn’t sure if it was a good idea to go with Jongin.
Was it too late to cancel...?
However, all of his doubts dissipated instantly to God knew where when Kyungsoo opened the door and Jongin gave him the gentlest smile he had ever seen. Something bubbled within Kyungsoo. Something so foreign that surpassed his brotherly feelings for Baekhyun and his fondness for Jaejoong.
Something that only happened when he saw Jongin.
Kyungsoo blinked when Jongin handed him a bouquet of roses. “What is this...?”
“Flowers?” Jongin replied in embarrassment.
“I know,” Kyungsoo chuckled. “But why...?”
“Well, it’s our first date,” Jongin said sheepishly. “And JYJ United won...these two reasons are enough for a celebration.”
Kyungsoo’s expression faltered at the mention of the club and he grimaced. It reminded him of Baekhyun and Kyungsoo’s feelings of guilt resurfaced. Jongin examined his face momentarily before breaking into a smile.
“Are you sure you want to go?”
“Eh?”
“DBSK FC is having a match, right? I can drop you off to meet your friends at the cafe.”
Kyungsoo looked up to search for a hint of anger or insincerity in Jongin’s tone, but there was none. Instead, he got a really kind smile in return, so kind that Kyungsoo felt like crying. Kyungsoo let Jongin touched his arm and the latter caressed him with his thumb, as if to say that it was all right. Kyungsoo slowly brought the flowers close to his face and relished the smell of fresh roses.
He wanted to know him more.
“It’s okay,” he softly said. “I will go on a date with you tonight, Jongin-ah.”
***
With Baekhyun having a gathering, Kyungsoo didn’t have to worry about being caught.
They intensely texted each other through the night and Kyungsoo made sure that Baekhyun was still at the cafe with his friends.
I wish you were here, though, Kyungsoo-yah :(
Kyungsoo chewed on his lower lip as he tucked his phone back into his pocket. He told himself to not feel guilty and enjoy the dinner with Jongin.
Surprisingly, their first date went okay.
It was crystal clear that Kyungsoo had his mind someplace else, but Jongin kept on asking questions to make him distracted. When they were on their way home, Jongin asked him once again if Kyungsoo would like to meet his friends and that he was more than willing to take him there, but he still got a firm head shake in return.
“Thank you,” Kyungsoo uttered softly when they had reached his house. “Be careful on your way home, Jongin-ah.” He was about to get out of the car when Jongin called his name out.
“Kyungsoo-yah?”
“Yeah?”
Jongin visibly sunk his teeth into his lower lip for a second before asking, “Can I ask you out again when DBSK FC isn’t having a match?”
Kyungsoo batted his eyelashes rapidly before gawking. “What...?”
“Well, I can tell that you really wanted to see the match,” Jongin chuckled awkwardly and shrugged. “And I feel bad for it. I mean, I would throw anything else away for you, including JYJ, but...maybe you’re different. Do you feel like giving me another chance...?”
Kyungsoo really gawked this time because Jongin had it all wrong. He wasn’t thinking about the match-he was thinking about Baekhyun. Kyungsoo didn’t really know how to explain to Jongin, but the tanned male looked really nervous and maybe he didn’t have to.
It’s not you, Kyungsoo thought as he extended a hand to caress Jongin’s cheek with a thumb. He hoped it was calming because it did when Jongin did it earlier on his arm. It’s really not you.
“Kyungsoo-yah...?” Jongin’s voice cracked.
Kyungsoo smiled shyly and nodded.
“Okay.”
Jongin smiled widely and it was then Kyungsoo realized that his smile really meant a lot to him more than anything.
Even more than Baekhyun’s.
***
Slowly, but surely, they had gotten closer.
Kyungsoo didn’t know exactly when, but before he knew it, his days were filled with Jongin and Jongin’s smile and Jongin’s texts and Jongin’s calls and just Jongin.
He didn’t tell anyone about his relationship-Kyungsoo wasn’t even sure if they were really dating-especially to Baekhyun. But Kyungsoo was happy. There was something huge and warm that flooded his chest every time he met the younger male. Kyungsoo was starting to let Jongin hold his hand and the way their fingers brushed against each other made his heart stutter.
Kyungsoo was starting to lie more and more often to Baekhyun.
Every time he turned down Baekhyun’s invitation of hanging out, his guilt would build up in his chest. He wished there was a better way to say “There’s this really nice Orion and I think you should meet him...”, but then he shook his head hard because he knew exactly what Baekhyun’s reaction would be. Kyungsoo reasoned that he was a bit occupied with assignments at the moment and Baekhyun thankfully bought it. It wasn’t entirely a lie because he really had an assignment.
They were spending some time in the cafeteria that day.
Baekhyun looked irritated, judging from the way he glared so hard at his screen. If eyes could produce laser beams, his phone probably would have melted. Kyungsoo silently hoped that it wasn’t any of the soccer clubs related, but knowing Baekhyun, it was either Girls Generation or DBSK FC.
It was the second one, of course.
“I can’t believe this,” he hissed in anger.
Kyungsoo inwardly sighed. “What is it...?”
“Changmin lost by a few points,” Baekhyun grunted. “There’s no way Jaejoong would have topped him! It’s outrageous!”
Kyungsoo carefully took the phone out of Baekhyun’s grip. His best friend was reading a famous website of online voting-which made his heart sank, because he voted for Jaejoong the other night. It was a stupid vote of who looked more handsome in a white suit-really, really stupid. Changmin and Jaejoong used to be close friends and Kyungsoo didn’t think anything would change that fact. Besides, it wasn’t more than an online voting. It didn’t mean anything. It wasn’t like if Jaejoong won then Changmin would die or something. Kyungsoo pressed his lips into a thin line and shrugged casually. “It’s just a vote...”
“A vote?” Baekhyun’s eyes widened in disbelief. “It’s just a vote to you? So Jaejoong winning is okay to you? JYJ United is better-is that what you’re saying?”
Kyungsoo froze. “No,” he deadpanned. “I’m just saying-maybe his fans just happened to vote him more-“
“Yeah, they’re probably cheating by making several accounts-“
“-which is not wrong at all,” Kyungsoo interrupted. “There’s nothing wrong about wanting your idol win-“
“Why are you siding with them?” Baekhyun cried. “I thought you’re my friend!”
“I am your friend, Baek,” Kyungsoo said in exasperation. “Please, let’s just-let’s just drop this subject. I’m sorry, okay? I didn’t mean to. If you want, I can help you creating new accounts to vote for Changmin. It’s not a big deal.”
Baekhyun ended up going home without him and Kyungsoo felt like pulling his hair out of his scalp.
He tried to call him, but Baekhyun refused to pick up.
Kyungsoo was so desperate that he ended up going to the bookstore to see Jongin. It seemed like he arrived on time when his shift ended, because Jongin had already put on his jacket. The tanned male raised his eyebrows upon seeing Kyungsoo.
“Hey. You didn’t tell me you were coming...”
Kyungsoo didn’t say anything, but his eyes were teary and it was enough for Jongin to understand. The taller of the two placed his hand on Kyungsoo’s nape, wordlessly pulling him closer to his chest. Kyungsoo choked and Jongin slowly dragged him to an empty aisle, letting the former sobbed in his arms.
The way Jongin ran his hand on his hair was calming. Kyungsoo was grateful as he silently gasped for air, doing his best to not make a sound. It didn’t take long for him to stop crying. Kyungsoo felt safe in Jongin’s arms. There was something natural about the way they were pressed against each other because it managed to distract Kyungsoo from anything else.
Kyungsoo cracked his eyes open and he felt Jongin’s thumbs were wiping away his tears. “I’m sorry,” he whispered.
“You don’t need to be sorry,” Jongin murmured. “Did anyone hurt you?”
Kyungsoo pressed his lips together as Jongin lifted his chin up with his fingers to meet their eyes. Jongin’s orbs were filled with genuine concern and Kyungsoo’s heart grinded to a halt because they were extremely close and their breaths were on each other and Jongin’s lips were just inches apart-
“Ahh!”
Kyungsoo jumped backward but he didn’t manage to get far because Jongin’s hand on his back was firm. Both of them turned their heads to the source of the voice, only to find Chanyeol grinning impishly. Kyungsoo blushed and distanced himself from Jongin.
“I’m sorry,” Chanyeol said although Kyungsoo knew he wasn’t.
Jongin only snickered at his friend and reached for Kyungsoo’s hand.
“Come on,” he said. “I’ll take you home.”
***
It turned out that Jongin didn’t bring his car, so they took the bus home.
Kyungsoo didn’t feel like going home so soon. He wanted to wander around some more with Jongin, but then he reminded himself what would happen if one of Baekhyun’s (hardcore) friends noticed him. Kyungsoo must have been lost in his own world for quite a while when Jongin shook his arm in an amused expression. “Y-yes?”
“Zitao said he’s home. How about we go back to my apartment first and take the car?”
Kyungsoo wanted to say that he was okay with public transportation, but going back to Jongin’s apartment meant more time to spend together so he nodded.
To hell with Cassies.
Jongin lived in the apartment together with his roommate, Zitao. The male was obviously Chinese and Kyungsoo wondered if one day he could introduce him to Baekhyun so that he would be able to practice his Mandarin daily. Not that Kyungsoo doubted Baekhyun’s ability, though. It was a wonder how Baekhyun managed to memorize all of those kanji.
“Zitao, this is Kyungsoo,” Jongin introduced. “Kyungsoo, Zitao.”
“Your boyfriend?” Zitao asked with a thick accent and Kyungsoo blushed in his track.
“It depends,” Jongin only smiled as he sent Kyungsoo a meaningful glance. “I’m going to drive Kyungsoo home. Do you want me to grab dinner for us?”
“We still have some instant noodles.”
Kyungsoo’s face turned horror. “It’s not healthy to eat instant noodles everyday.”
“Not everyday, though,” Zitao frowned as he recalled with his fingers. “It’s um, tonight is only the fourth time this week.”
“B-but it’s Friday,” Kyungsoo cried and hastily shrugged off his jacket. His motherly instinct was working alright. “What do you guys have?”
“Where?”
“In your pants. In the refrigerator, of course,” Kyungsoo deadpanned. He didn’t wait for any reply as Kyungsoo made his way to the kitchen and straight to the refrigerator. “Oh good, there are eggs. Jongin-ah, do you have rice?”
“Yeah.”
“Good. I hope omelettes are fine. Or scrambled eggs? Which one do you prefer? It’s not exactly a proper dinner but with the ingredients, I can only make that.”
Zitao beamed at Kyungsoo. “You’ll cook for us?”
“Why not? I’m starving anyway,” Kyungsoo said and turned to Jongin shyly. “That is, um, if you don’t mind driving me home later?”
“Of course not, but...are you sure? Are your parents okay?”
“As long as I go home before eleven, yeah.”
Kyungsoo managed to make something simple yet edible from the lack of ingredients he had. When he served the food on the dining table, Zitao dug in like there was no tomorrow and muttered something along the lines of ‘Chen should meet you and learn how to cook from your boyfriend, Jongin-ah’. Kyungsoo couldn’t help but feeling proud when he saw them shoving the food into their mouths.
Jongin caught his gaze and smiled as he chewed.
Kyungsoo happily smiled back.
Zitao then offered himself to wash the dishes when they were done eating and Jongin took Kyungsoo to the living room.
“Fifteen more minutes,” Kyungsoo mumbled lazily as he patted his stomach. “I’m still full.”
Jongin laughed at his expression and ruffled Kyungsoo’s hair caringly. “Anytime you want me.”
Kyungsoo tried to hide the fact that his heart was thumping so fast like it was about to explode with a hum. “So, is Zitao also an Orion...?”
“Zitao? No, he’s a Shawol,” Jongin said and noticed the confusion plastered on Kyungsoo’s face. “He’s been supporting Shinee City since he was in high school. Chen, his boyfriend, is an Orion, though.”
Kyungsoo’s mouth went dry at the fact. “Really...? Did they ever get into a fight?”
“Well, it’s not a relationship if it doesn’t have one.”
“No, I mean...even if they stan different clubs?”
Jongin’s eyes softened at his question. “They fought, but as long as I know, it was never about the clubs.”
“Oh,” Kyungsoo whispered. He leaned his head back on the couch and stared at the ceiling. Kyungsoo felt Jongin shifting beside him before leaning forward to turn on the audio with a remote. Their shoulders brushed slightly when Jongin leaned back beside him and Kyungsoo’s heart started again. “Whose song is this?”
“Effects,” Jongin answered. “You never heard of them?”
“Ugh, I’ve been listening to Girls Generation all my life because Baekhyun-“
“Who’s Baekhyun?”
Kyungsoo immediately fell silent. He could feel Jongin turned his head to stare at him and Kyungsoo gulped. “Baek...? He’s...someone who wouldn’t approve us.” Kyungsoo slowly craned his neck to catch Jongin’s questioning gaze. “He’s my best friend. And a hardcore Cassiopeia. And a hardcore Sone, too.”
“Was he the one who kept on glaring to our table the other night? The one with the eyeliner?”
Kyungsoo shouldn’t really smile, but he just found it amusing. “Yeah...”
“And Chanyeol thought he was hitting on him.” Jongin’s shoulders were shaking as he laughed and waved a hand dismissively at Kyungsoo’s horror expression. “Pardon me for asking, but...did you have a fight with him? Was it why you cried?”
Kyungsoo’s eyes were getting distant as he stared at the audio player. This Effects group was good, he absently thought. “I was hurt when he badmouthed Jaejoong, but...there was nothing I could do about it. I mean, sometimes...the reason why he hated Jaejoong just didn’t make sense to me and I was like...why? I like him a lot...so he quit DBSK and joined JYJ, but it didn’t mean I have to follow Baekhyun and hate Jaejoong because of that...”
“Did you ever tell Baekhyun that?”
“I couldn’t,” Kyungsoo shook his head. “I don’t want to lose him.”
“It doesn’t mean he can treat you like that.”
“He’s not treating me badly,” Kyungsoo said defensively, even though he himself wasn’t sure.
“If he’s really your friend, he wouldn’t do that. I mean, even if I were such a hardcore Orion-which I’m quite sure I am-I wouldn’t kick Zitao out of the apartment or try to poison him in his sleep.”
“That’s awful,” Kyungsoo’s eyes widened.
“It’s just an example,” Jongin hastily added. “I don’t want you to be hurt. I don’t want you to be treated badly.”
Kyungsoo’s eyes lingered on Jongin for a few moments before he spoke. “You never treat me badly,” he whispered as he caressed the back of his hand on Jongin’s cheek. “Despite the fact that I’m a...half Cassie and half Orion-“ Jongin chuckled. “-but you’ve always been so kind...”
Their eyes locked.
“I don’t deserve you,” Kyungsoo whispered.
“It’s not a matter of who deserves who,” Jongin sternly said as he took Kyungsoo’s hand. “What more important is, what do you feel about me?”
Kyungsoo’s throat went dry at the question and he somehow wished he could take back his words. He deserved Jongin....right? Kyungsoo opened his mouth to answer, but he still needed a few moments to finally do it.
“Like...”
Jongin waited.
“Want...”
Kyungsoo’s eyes became teary.
“Need...”
“And it’s all that I need to know,” Jongin leaned forward to press their foreheads together. “I’m not playing a game with you, Kyungsoo-yah. The moment I saw you that night, I just knew it was you.”
“I’m scared,” Kyungsoo sniffled. “I’m scared, Jongin.”
“No one’s going to hurt you. I’m not going to let anyone do that to you.”
And then Jongin kissed him.
Kyungsoo’s fear was gone the moment Jongin shifted their positions to get a good angle to deepen the kiss and a hum-or was it a moan, Kyungsoo wasn’t sure-escaped his lips as he parted his lips to let Jongin run a tongue inside. The way Jongin kissed him was just tenderly sweet and Kyungsoo wasn’t able to think of anything else but Jongin. He searched for Jongin’s fingers and the latter willingly grabbed Kyungsoo’s and their hands didn’t untangle, not even until they pulled away for air, chests heaving, and eyes never left each other.
That moment, Kyungsoo also knew that Jongin was the one.
***
Jongin told Kyungsoo to promote him the best Girls Generation album and in return, he lent his boyfriend (yes, it was official) his Effects album.
Kyungsoo’s mouth formed a small ‘o’ when he realized that it was actually written as f(x).
By the time Kyungsoo got home that night, there was already a text message from Baekhyun on his cellphone.
Wanna watch DBSK match together tomorrow night?
Kyungsoo bit his inner cheek for a second before sighing. Okay, he sent a reply and fell onto his bed. Kyungsoo curled into a ball and smiled to himself as the memories of his first kiss(es) with Jongin replayed all over again like a broken record in his mind. He fell into a deep slumber after sending Jongin a goodnight text and lots of xoxo.
Baekhyun never apologized if he had ever done something wrong, but it had always been that way. Sometimes Kyungsoo wondered if it was also his fault for letting Baekhyun did that since they were kids. Nonetheless, the male was just grateful if his best friend still wanted to talk to him. Lately, their friendship hadn’t been the same, but it was probably just a phase they had to face.
Kyungsoo didn’t tell Jongin that he was going out that night to meet Baekhyun.
That was why he was shocked when he saw Jongin with his friends were at the same cafe.
They were obviously there for dinner, because none of them were clad in club jerseys. Zitao was the first one to spot him and the Chinese male waved his hand excitedly. Kyungsoo froze on his track as Jongin glanced over his shoulder. His grip tightened on the strap of his bag and his heart ached at how nonchalant the gaze his boyfriend gave him, but they needed to act that way.
Kyungsoo was grateful that Jongin stayed quiet. He lowered his head as he walked past his boyfriend and his friends to the table where Baekhyun was.
“Did you just...?” Baekhyun asked in suspicion as he eyed the table across them. “They’re Orions, right?”
“I-I don’t know,” Kyungsoo did his best to hide his surprise at the fact that Baekhyun knew who they were. “Are they...?”
“Like I would forget our enemies,” Baekhyun rolled his eyes and patted the empty chair beside him. “Come, the match is gonna start in a few minutes.”
Kyungsoo tried to be calm, but he couldn’t stop fidgeting the whole time. Zitao kept on throwing glances at him and he almost cried in frustration because Jongin should’ve done something about it and because Baekhyun kept on glaring at Chanyeol and the others as if to tell him to stop glancing to their table. He carefully took out his phone out of his bag and decided to text Jongin.
I’m sorry, Jongin-ah...
Jongin looked down at his phone and started typing something. Within a few seconds, a new reply came in his inbox.
You could just tell Baekhyun we’re dating.
Kyungsoo went pale.
I can’t...
Jongin clenched his teeth.
I’m here, aren’t I? I won’t let him hurt you.
Kyungsoo chewed on his lower lip.
Jongin-ah, please...
“Who are you texting?”
Kyungsoo almost jumped in his seat and repeatedly pressed back button until it displayed his home. “No one. I was just...browsing.”
“Browsing?” Baekhyun frowned. “Is the match boring?”
“I-“ Kyungsoo almost groaned in desperation. “Baek, please, don’t start-“
“Start what??”
The other Cassies were starting to stare and Kyungsoo wanted the ground to just swallow him whole. It didn’t help at all knowing that Jongin and the others were also staring at them worriedly. Kyungsoo immediately regretted everything and took a deep breath to calm down. “It’s nothing. I-I’m sorry, Baek, I’m going home...”
“Wait! If you have something on your mind, just spill it!” Baekhyun snapped. “What did you mean by ‘don’t start’??”
“It’s nothing, okay???”
Baekhyun seemed a bit taken aback at his harsh reply.
Kyungsoo grabbed his bag with an awful feeling and when he was about to pass Jongin and the others, his boyfriend stood up. Kyungsoo didn’t know why he let Jongin halted his movement-moreover in front of Baekhyun and the other Cassies. His insides were almost bursting out as he leaned his head on Jongin’s chest.
“Take me home,” he sobbed weakly. “Please...”
“Okay,” Jongin placed a hand on the back of his head. “Don’t cry, it’s okay...”
“Wait, why are you-“ Baekhyun cried indignantly, his voice was loud enough for the room to hear. “He’s an Orion, Kyungsoo!”
“Stop it, Baek!” Kyungsoo exclaimed helplessly as he turned around. “He’s my boyfriend, okay?”
Baekhyun froze in his seat and Kyungsoo immediately regretted not being able to hold back his emotions. However, it was too late to take it back. Kyungsoo had enough. He really didn’t want Jongin to be badmouthed by his best friend. Baekhyun could do it to Jaejoong, but not Jongin.
“I’m not talking to you anymore,” Baekhyun stated in irritation. “You’ve been lying to me.”
A disbelief tear fell on Kyungsoo’s cheek as he stared at Baekhyun. “Why do you think I’ve been lying to you...? Because I knew it would be
like this...”
“Stop. You’re not my friend anymore. You stopped liking DBSK means you stopped being my friend.”
“I didn’t stop-“
“Well, getting into a relationship with him is considered the same-“
“You know what?” Kyungsoo said in a hurtful tone and clutched his chest. “People didn’t stop being friends just because they stopped liking the same thing...but I guess you can have it your way.”
With that, the doe eyed male turned around to leave and Jongin followed closely behind him.
Baekhyun didn’t even try to stop him.
***
Baekhyun stopped talking to him after that.
It saddened Kyungsoo to no end when he saw Baekhyun in the university and the latter looked away when their eyes met. Kyungsoo was miserable. He told his parents he was going to sleep at Baekhyun’s house on the weekend while he actually went to Jongin’s apartment. Kyungsoo just didn’t want to be alone because if he was, he wouldn’t be able to stop thinking about it and he would end up crying.
Zitao slammed Jongin’s laptop close when he saw Kyungsoo teared up at Baekhyun’s blog. Baekhyun had been writing in Chinese and Kyungsoo somehow had a feeling it was about him. The translation application wasn’t accurate, but Kyungsoo wasn’t that dumb. He knew mocking and insulting when he read one. Add that to the fact that Zitao had just shut the laptop.
Kyungsoo spent the rest of his weekend on Jongin’s bedroom. The male wasn’t there all the time because he needed to work, but somehow the scent of Jongin in the room helped him to calm down and Kyungsoo fell asleep easier that way. Jongin hadn’t asked him anything and Kyungsoo didn’t think he would be able to answer if his boyfriend ever did. However, on the third day of his silent lamenting, Jongin just needed to know.
“Are we breaking up?”
Kyungsoo slowly looked up in shock. “Wh-what...?”
Jongin sighed softly as he laid down beside Kyungsoo. The former’s hand on his shoulder was firm as they faced each other. “I hate to see you like this... If we break up, you’re gonna be able to talk to him again. Your friendship will be restored...”
Kyungsoo visibly tensed. Jongin reached out for his hand and intertwined their fingers together. Kyungsoo’s eyes fluttered when he felt the tanned male pressing his lips on the inside of his wrist, as if to feel his pulse. Jongin peppered a few more kisses before sighing.
“I’m okay,” Jongin murmured. “I’m really going to be okay.”
But Kyungsoo knew he wasn’t.
“Don’t say that,” Kyungsoo whispered sadly. “Don’t push me away...take it back. Take it back, Jongin-ah.”
Jongin bitterly smiled and pulled Kyungsoo closer to his chest. “Do you really want me to take it back...?”
“Yes...”
“Then I’m not letting you go, Kyungsoo-yah.”
Kyungsoo closed his eyes as he leaned into the touch.
“I’m not going to give up on you.”
“Because you’re not playing with me,” Kyungsoo whispered. “You’re serious with me.”
“Yes,” Jongin murmured against his lips. “Yes, I’m dead serious with you.”
***
It had been a few weeks after that and Kyungsoo finally came to a decision that he needed to confront Baekhyun.
He was helplessly in love with Jongin, but it didn’t mean that he was willing to let Baekhyun go for Jongin in return. No. Everything could go hand in hand, in balance, if only Baekhyun was willing to open up his mind.
When Baekhyun stepped out of his class, Kyungsoo quickly approached him. The latter knew a rejection when he saw one, but he wasn’t going to give up that easily. Kyungsoo followed Baekhyun until they reached an empty part of the building and he took the opportunity to grab the latter’s arm.
“Baek, please talk to me.”
“Why should I?” Baekhyun grunted in dismay, but he didn’t look convincing.
“Because I don’t want to lose you,” Kyungsoo said and it got Baekhyun to stare at him. He shifted his gaze to his shoes before swallowing thickly. “But I need you to stop being selfish, Baek.”
Baekhyun opened his mouth to protest but Kyungsoo interrupted him before he was able to do so.
“You always badmouth Jaejoong,” Kyungsoo said in half exasperation. “But you do know that he’s my idol, right? Do you have any idea how much you hurt me whenever you accused him of something? It pained me badly because I wanted to say something, I wanted to stand up for him, but I was afraid. I was too scared to lose you-gosh, you’re the closest thing I have to a brother. But-but please, Baek, do I ever badmouth your idol...?”
Baekhyun held his breath.
“Do I ever blame DBSK for making Jaejoong quit...? Do I ever say bad things about Changmin...? Do I ever, ever complain about the fans of Girls Generation cheated on some popularity contest or something...? Do I...?”
Kyungsoo’s breath became ragged and Baekhyun only stared mutely at him.
“I’m in love with an Orion,” he whispered. “I know you’re going to be disgusted and roll your eyes and everything at that fact. But what was worse was that I tried pushing him away. He didn’t force me to stay, Baek. I was the one who insisted to stay. He was even willing to trade his happiness of our relationship for you, so that I could smile again. How can I not love him...?”
Baekhyun was still quiet and Kyungsoo dragged a hand down his face. Neither of them made a sound until Baekhyun pursed his lips and exhaled loudly. “I’m sorry.”
Kyungsoo blinked. “Huh?”
Baekhyun bashfully dropped his gaze. “I said I’m sorry...”
Kyungsoo brought a hand to his mouth in disbelief. Did his best friend just...?
“I don’t want to lose you too,” Baekhyun muttered softly.
Silence descended upon them and Kyungsoo braved himself to take a few steps closer to Baekhyun. He extended a hand to touch the other male, but hesitated halfway and pulled his hand back. Baekhyun simply stared at him and Kyungsoo wasn’t sure if it was rejection or just uncertainty.
“I did that because...I just didn’t want you to leave me,” Baekhyun continued. “I thought by doing all of that, you wouldn’t change your mind and keep on agreeing with me...”
“I’m not going to leave you, Baekhyun-ah,” Kyungsoo really touched Baekhyun’s arm this time. “We’re still going to be friends even if you’re a hardcore Sone and I suddenly become Effects fan.”
“Effects? What’s that?”
“Nevermind,” Kyungsoo shook his head and smiled. Baekhyun smiled back and a huge wave of relief washed over Kyungsoo’s entire body. Baekhyun took Kyungsoo’s hand in his and tightened his grip.
“So,” Baekhyun started again after moments of silence. “Is he treating you well?”
Kyungsoo’s expression brightened at the thought of Jongin. “Yeah. Yeah, he is...”
“Good,” Baekhyun gave him a look. “Tell him if he ever hurt you, I’ll hunt him down.”
A chuckle. “What about telling him yourself? You’re my best friend, after all.”
“Ugh, no,” Baekhyun instinctively replied and groaned at Kyungsoo’s sad face. “I mean, not at the moment. It takes time to accept all of this, okay?”
Nonetheless, Kyungsoo felt as if the burden had been taken off of his chest and he laughed as he leaned forward to hug Baekhyun.
“Thank you,” he whispered softly. “Thank you, Baek.”
Baekhyun said nothing in reply, but the way he hugged Kyungsoo back was enough for an answer.
***
Jongin definitely didn’t see it coming.
He let out a yelp when Kyungsoo lunged to him, causing both of them to stumble backward. Jongin managed to balance himself before both of them fell onto the floor and he wasn’t even given the chance to breathe when he felt a pair of lips searched his longingly. Jongin hummed in protest, but he gave in by kissing his boyfriend back and took the opportunity to pin him against the wall in revenge for almost making him fall.
When Jongin pulled away, he noticed that Kyungsoo’s lips were trembling, but the latter didn’t really give him a chance to think as he leaned forward to kiss Jongin more. Jongin willingly received the kiss, liking his boyfriend’s sudden eagerness even though he wanted to ask him what had happened. Their lips met again, softer this time and Jongin slowly pulled away. Thankfully, the bookstore wasn’t crowded yet and Jongin was working on the aisle where there was no CCTV.
“Someone’s in a good mood,” Jongin mumbled against Kyungsoo’s mouth, the latter’s lips were glistening with saliva.
Kyungsoo licked his lips before nuzzling into Jongin’s neck. “I love you, Jongin-ah.”
It was unexpected for Jongin, judging from the way he pulled away slightly and the way he stared sternly at Kyungsoo. Something was forming within Jongin’s black orbs-questions? Confusion? But Kyungsoo shook his head at him.
“I’m not playing,” Kyungsoo whispered and his eyes softened. “I’m dead serious with you, Jongin-ah...”
Jongin caught the determination and honesty in his boyfriend’s eyes before curving his lips upward.
End.
Baekhyun asked him what he was going to do that night and Kyungsoo honestly answered that he was going to the cafe to watch the match of JYJ United versus SuJu United.
Ever since that day, Baekhyun had become more open minded about the things Kyungsoo liked. It was true that he still needed some time to accept all of it, but Kyungsoo was glad Baekhyun didn’t get irritated as easily as before. He remembered catching Baekhyun’s disapproving gaze at the f(x) album in his room, but his best friend said nothing. Kyungsoo smiled. He definitely would try to make Baekhyun liked the group.
None of them had expected Baekhyun would make an appearance that night.
Kyungsoo’s jaw dropped as Baekhyun deliberately sat beside him. Jongin, Zitao and Jongdae (Chen’s real name) seemed to be as shocked as him, but not with Chanyeol (the male unconsciously tidied his hair with his hands).
“What?” Baekhyun asked sheepishly. “Thought I’d join the crowd. I never really liked SuJu United anyway. Besides, Park Yoochun is kind of hot...”
The tension immediately dissolved into laughter. Zitao and Jongdae took turns asking Baekhyun while Chanyeol gave the couple an annoying stare because he had been wanting to talk to him and they kept on interrupting him.
Kyungsoo smiled happily at Baekhyun. When Baekhyun looked at him, he mouthed his best friend a silent ‘thank you’. He was really grateful that Baekhyun was willing to try for him, despite the fact that he hated other clubs. Baekhyun only smiled in return before finally paying attention to Chanyeol (poor Chanyeol, he was really nervous when Baekhyun finally stared at him).
“Hey,” Jongin said softly into his ear. “Someone’s in a good mood.”
Kyungsoo turned to look at Jongin before leaning forward to kiss him.
“Yeah,” he whispered with a smile. “Yeah, I am.”
because this is just fiction and I wish she didn't stop talking to me