Never (Is Just The Echo of Forever) [1/2]
Title: Never (Is Just The Echo of Forever) [1/2]
Author: FloweryMisha
Pairing: KrisHo
Warning: BoyxBoy love. Enough said.
Summary: Junmyeon was like a shining star in the dark sky. Yifan knew he could never reach him, but he couldn’t help but try.
Author's Note: Much love to tikibuddy91 for proofreading this for me <333 I hope I'm not disappointing you sobs AND PLEASE, NO TRANSLATIONS ALLOWED!
Don’t say we’re not right for each other because the way I see it, we’re not right for anyone else.
--The Cutting Edge
Junmyeon thought his life was flowing smoothly the way it was supposed to be.
It wasn’t rushed. It wasn’t too slow. It was close to perfect.
Junmyeon got his first boyfriend and his first kiss at the age of seventeen. For some people, it might be a bit too late, but for Junmyeon, it was perfect. He was always careful when it came to relationship because he didn’t want to date someone that he wasn’t comfortable with. First boyfriend wasn’t always first love, but Choi Minho was both. The male was tall, handsome and flawless and Junmyeon thought he might be living a dream. They were all right. They were happy.
But not all happy stories ended well.
Junmyeon experienced his first heartbreak the next year. He was eighteen at that moment and he never thought that it would be painful. Minho’s parents had sent their son to France to study, and long distance relationship was hard. The time zone difference made them unable to communicate properly and Junmyeon couldn’t afford it if his phone bills were going to be that expensive every months. Both of them had done their best to hold on and survive, but in the end, they knew that it wasn’t going to work out.
They said first love never dies. After his break up with Minho, Junmyeon didn’t date anyone in university because he thought it was the time to study, and not the time to date and have fun. Or maybe it was just because he wasn’t over Minho...he wasn’t really sure.
At the age of twenty-two, Junmyeon graduated from a university and he got a dream job at a well-known company. He had been working very hard that he didn’t even manage to find someone he could spend his weekend with. Junmyeon managed to form a friendship with a endearing male, named Kyungsoo, who had a younger boyfriend named Jongin. He always turned down Kyungsoo’s offer to hang out, but he finally obeyed half-heartedly when the doe-eyed male dragged him to a party with Jongin-just for the sake of meeting new people, because all Junmyeon saw everyday was papers and files and documents and computer screens, and it wasn’t healthy.
He made new friends, but he still didn’t date anyone.
Junmyeon met Chanyeol when he was twenty five.
It was the first time his heart skipped a beat after such a long time and Junmyeon thought he should follow his heart this time. Chanyeol was perfect. The male was tall and kind, and he laughed a lot. Junmyeon kind of liked the way the taller male would wrap an arm around his shoulder as they walked together. Despite the fact that Chanyeol was a year younger, something about him felt right. Junmyeon let Chanyeol kissed him. Chanyeol kissed him, held his hand, loved him, and Junmyeon let him. He loved him back in return.
Their relationship was perfect. They never had a fight. Their relationship caused a lot of people to feel envious because it was like a dream relationship and they were meant to be with each other. So perfect that it made Junmyeon empty. Nonetheless, he held on tightly to Chanyeol because they had been together for two years and if there was anyone who understood him, it was Chanyeol. Junmyeon thought he would be stupid to let Chanyeol go because of something unreasonable.
When he was twenty-seven, Chanyeol proposed to him.
Junmyeon didn’t know whether he should’ve screamed with delight or cry from the happiness, or burst into tears. He did nothing but stare blankly at Chanyeol, as though the taller male had done something really embarrassing. Junmyeon visibly bit his lower lip at the kneeling Chanyeol before him, and he probably said something that really hurt.
“Aren’t we-aren’t we rushing...?”
Chanyeol’s expression faltered at that and Junmyeon mentally panicked.
“Are we...?” Chanyeol asked back calmly, but his face was filled with sadness. Junmyeon felt his chest tightening at his boyfriend’s expression. Chanyeol stared at the velvet box in his hand. “...the company’s sending me to Los Angeles for work, Junmyeon-ah.”
“LA...?”
“Yeah. And I-I want you to come with me,” Chanyeol muttered bashfully. “Well, there are a lot of things that I need to prepare and it would probably take months, but once it’s fixed, I’m flying there and I...I wish you could come with me.”
Junmyeon’s throat went dry. Chanyeol was still kneeling before him with the small velvet box, and Junmyeon thought it was probably his time. Their relationship had been going for two years now and for him, Chanyeol was perfect. His boyfriend was handsome and tall and with a great job, and he would definitely make a good husband, so Junmyeon had nothing to be worried about, right...?
Right...?
Junmyeon didn’t know.
Chanyeol strained a smile. “Do you want to think about it first...?”
Junmyeon wasn’t sure if anyone else would be as kind as Chanyeol in proposing. He stared deeply into Chanyeol’s eyes, and he knew the emotions were sincere. Chanyeol really did love him. Chanyeol really did want him to accompany him to LA. Chanyeol... Chanyeol was his life.
Holding on to those thoughts, Junmyeon slowly lifted up his hand to touch the taller male’s and nodded.
“No,” Junmyeon said softly. “I-I’ll go with you, Chanyeol-ah...”
Chanyeol’s expression brightened and Junmyeon thought he had done the right thing.
***
Junmyeon rested his cheek on his fist as he stared blankly at his coffee.
Funny because he was supposed to feel happy now that his boyfriend had proposed-not everyone was lucky enough to have that, not even a hetero couple. Heck, two people could be in a relationship for five years and neither of them would be brave enough to talk about commitment-marriage, in this case. Funny because instead of happiness, it was fear that started to grow within Junmyeon. And it wasn’t just fear, but also worry and doubts and everything that could be categorized under negative.
Junmyeon rubbed his eye and wondered if it was a good decision to say yes.
Luhan had gone asgdajsdgjhdsk at him on the phone when he informed him of the news and Junmyeon wished he could have had his best friend’s reaction instead when Chanyeol had proposed. Nonetheless, it was going to be all right because...well, it was Chanyeol who he was going to marry and not anyone new.
“Junmyeon-hyung, sorry for waiting.”
Junmyeon looked up from his untouched coffee and smiled when he saw Kyungsoo approaching. He shook his head in response as if to say that it was all right. The younger male sat on the empty seat across him and spoke without preamble.
“I heard the news, congratulations!”
“E-eh?” Junmyeon was taken aback.
“Chanyeol called Jongin immediately after you said yes,” Kyungsoo smiled happily as he took off his jacket. “It was really sweet for him to do such thing! But LA...? That’s really far away.”
Junmyeon didn’t expect Kyungsoo to know about the news and he certainly didn’t feel like telling the other male, but then he forced himself to smile and nodded. “Chanyeol said it would probably take two or three months for preparation...?” Junmyeon took a long time to stare at Kyungsoo’s smiley expression, as if he was studying how to do exactly the same.
“Yeah, but still, it’s not like two or three months would cover all of the things we’ve been through,” Kyungsoo pouted. Junmyeon copied his earlier smile, but Kyungsoo could see right through him that there wasn’t any emotion underneath it. “Hyung? Are you okay?”
Junmyeon’s smile faltered. “What?”
“Are you okay with going to LA?”
Junmyeon dropped his gaze back to his coffee. He was pretty sure it had gotten cold now. “Yeah. Why wouldn’t I be...?”
“Because you don’t feel like it...?”
Junmyeon snapped his head back to Kyungsoo. The younger male was giving him such an intense stare that it caused him to feel like a kid who was caught playing video game when he was supposed to be studying. Junmyeon wordlessly stared back. “No, it’s...it’s okay. I...I love Chanyeol.”
“Do you?”
Junmyeon visibly tensed at the question and he felt suffocated. Kyungsoo was giving him a serious look before his lips curved upward in a relaxed smile.
“I’m starving, what do you want to eat?”
***
Luhan must have told Junmyeon's mother about it that it got his mother to call him.
Junmyeon hadn’t told any of his family about this, because...well, he wasn’t sure how he wanted them to react. Chanyeol was such a sweetheart and he had introduced him to his parents via Skype because they lived in a different city. It didn’t take long for his mother to like Chanyeol, and his father even said he had picked someone good. Junmyeon was doing his monthly shopping when his mother called and he half-heartedly took the call.
“Congratulations, sweetheart! Luhan told me the news!”
Junmyeon forced himself to smile as he lowered the speaker’s volume. His mother tended to speak in a high-pitched tone whenever she was excited. “Uh...yeah. Uh...thank you, Umma.”
“I’m a bit disappointed that you haven’t told me anything about it,” he could sense his mother pouting. “But I understand. You have a lot to prepare. So does this mean you’re going to quit your job? That is such a shame, it’s really a good company...”
Junmyeon stopped pushing his cart and swallowed. “I know. Maybe-maybe I should rethink about my decision...”
There was a long moment of silence at the end of the line and Junmyeon felt like stuffing a fist in his mouth. Stupid, stupid, he mentally cursed himself.
“I don’t think it’s necessary, Junmyeonnie. Marriage is a wonderful thing.”
Junmyeon sighed into his phone. “It’s not that, Umma. It’s just-it’s just LA is too far away... I said yes without thinking-“
“But if you really love Chanyeol, then it’s not a problem.”
Junmyeon fell silent. There was a small amount of sadness formed in his chest as he dropped his gaze to a cereal box in his cart. “You’re right...”
His mother was definitely smiling as she continued to speak. “I have to say that Chanyeol is a really nice guy. Even his height is perfect for you, come on, Junmyeonnie, where else can you find someone as tall as him?” Junmyeon rolled his eyes at this because she was saying that he was short. “He’s a well-mannered guy and he has a decent job. And that’s what matters, Junmyeonnie.”
Junmyeon bitterly closed his eyes because for parents, having a decent job was what was important.
“I understand, Umma...”
***
Junmyeon tried to convince himself that he wanted this. He wanted Chanyeol, he wanted to live with Chanyeol, he wanted Chanyeol to be happy.
He had told his managers that he would quit in a month or two and he got disbelieving stares in return. They told him it was such a shame because Junmyeon was talented and was lucky enough to be chosen into the company, and it was such a shame that he sacrificed everything for one man.
Their words were harsh, of course, because Junmyeon thought he loved Chanyeol and that he was more than willing to sacrifice anything-not just his job-to be with him, but as he took a shortcut home through a park, he wondered if it was all right for him to postpone everything and told Chanyeol that his job meant a lot to him...
Kyungsoo didn’t ask how the preparations go and Junmyeon was grateful for it because he wasn’t going to be able to hide his facial expressions. With Luhan, he could lie perfectly because they would be talking on the phone.
Junmyeon almost dropped everything onto the ground when someone stumbled in front of him out of nowhere. He screamed in shock, thinking that it could be a rapist or a muggler or a ghost. Junmyeon hastily took his phone out and was about to call the police or the fire department or Chanyeol-why did his boyfriend come in last?-when he realized the person in front of him looked like he had been in a fight.
“Are-are you okay?” Junmyeon asked hesitantly and let out another scream when another person stumbled out of a bush nearby to attack the male. The fighting continued and he frantically dialed 911 as he took few giant steps back when he recognized the other male. Junmyeon gaped and instinctively ended the call as he tilted his head to get a better look. “Yixing...?”
The said male snapped his head to Junmyeon at that and he got a punch in the face the next second.
“Oh God,” Junmyeon cried in horror. “Yixing, stop fighting!” None of the boys seemed to pay attention and Junmyeon cringed because Yixing was starting to cough blood and the blond haired male’s lips were bleeding. Junmyeon was scared as he looked around, searching for anyone who could help him stop the fight, but there was none.
Junmyeon then screamed at the top of his lungs.
“I SAID STOP!!!!!”
It seemed to stun both men and Junmyeon took the opportunity to drag Yixing away. He was breathless because he didn’t think he had ever shouted so loud like that in his life before. Junmyeon placed a hand over his chest as he weakly collapsed to his knees on the ground.
“It’s you,” Yixing frowned as he wiped his mouth with the back of his hand. “Junmyeon-ssi, isn’t it?”
Junmyeon feebly nodded. “Why did-why did you guys fight...?”
Yixing fixed his eyes on the blond-haired male before shrugging nonchalantly. “Nice to meet you, Yifan.”
“Yeah,” Yifan spat blood to the empty ground beside him. “Nice to meet you too.”
Junmyeon’s jaw dropped. “Wh-what...?”
“If you’ll excuse me, Junmyeon-ssi,” Yixing said and walked away from them like all they did was just having a cup of tea and a nice, cheerful conversation.
Junmyeon was still recovering from the shock when the male named Yifan stood up with great difficulty. He forced himself to focus and pushed himself off of the ground. “W-wait. Yifan, isn’t it?” Yifan glowered at him and Junmyeon squirmed under his gaze, but he continued anyway. “Are you okay? Let me take you to a hospital...”
Yifan stared at him blankly. “...it will heal. Besides, I hate hospitals.”
Junmyeon knew he should have ended there. But he didn’t. “Well, do you prefer your parents to freak out when you got home with a face like that?”
“Parent,” Yifan corrected. “It’s only my mother. My father died three years ago.”
“Oh, I’m-I’m sorry...”
“My mother is used to this,” Kris motioned his face like it was not a big deal. “Another bruise won’t matter.”
Junmyeon couldn’t bring himself to reply anymore. Yifan gave him an unreadable gaze. Junmyeon noticed his heart skipped a beat, but he shrugged it off because it could still be from the shock. But the way Yifan stared at him made him uncomfortable, and Junmyeon could feel his cheeks heating up.
“Well,” Junmyeon quickly said. “I-I guess I’ll get going then.”
Yifan still hadn’t responded, and when Junmyeon had walked past him, it was then that he realized Yifan was a lot taller than Chanyeol.
***
Junmyeon couldn’t stop thinking about Yifan.
It was probably because the male looked badly beaten, and he wondered if he should’ve just forced Yifan to go to the hospital with him.
Junmyeon spent some of his spare time thinking if he should contact Yixing and asked him about Yifan, but...he hung his head dejectedly and shook his head hard. What the hell was he thinking about...? Oh well, he was just worried. There was nothing wrong about being worried, right...?
Besides, it wasn’t like they would meet again...
But maybe he was wrong.
The next time they met, it was in a toy store.
Chanyeol had called him earlier about his plan to meet his older sister, Yura who happened to be in town with her two-year-old baby. Junmyeon was a bit nervous because Yura had always been good to him, and he thought he should at least buy something for the niece. He didn’t really know what to buy, but girls probably would like dolls and plushies so Junmyeon headed to the nearest toy store from his office.
Junmyeon was a bit lost of what to choose. He should probably close his eyes and randomly picked something out. Should he choose Pokemon? Pororo? Shaun the Sheep? Angry Birds? Junmyeon wanted to laugh at his pathetic taste of plushies and thought he should just choose Barbie or Teddy Bear instead. He picked the nicest-and quite expensive, might he add-soft, brown Teddy Bear and Junmyeon was about to head to the cashier when he spotted an extremely tall, blond-haired male.
Yifan...?
Junmyeon didn’t know if it was because of instinct that Yifan turned to him or because he had said the name out loud. Yifan stared at him with a slight frown, probably wondering who he was, before finally dawning with realization. Junmyeon decided to be casual and threw him a smile.
“Hi. L-looking for a gift?”
Yifan seemed to recognize his voice because his eyebrows were raised and he looked somewhat embarrassed. “Yeah. You?”
“Of course,” Junmyeon replied. “I’m too told for dolls and stuffs,” he chuckled after he said that and afterwards, failing to see that Yifan tensing up. “Are you buying for your...um, girlfriend?”
“...”
Junmyeon waited for an answer, but it never came. He absently gazed at Yifan’s face. The latter’s lips were slightly bruised and there was a small bandage plastered on the corner of his lips, but even with a slight glance, he could tell that the male was handsome. Very handsome, to be exact. Junmyeon noticed his heart had skipped a beat or two, only that this time was worse than the first time. The silence was starting to kill him that he decided to break it.
“I’d pick this one if I were you,” Junmyeon randomly pointed at a white alpaca plushie and smiled at Yifan as he tried to ease the nervousness inside. “I’d even name him Ace.”
“...white gets dirty easily.”
“Ah, you’re right...then what about the brown one?”
Yifan seemed to take his words very seriously as he took the plushie Junmyeon was talking about.
A huge feeling of wanting to linger swirled within Junmyeon, but as he glanced at his watch, he really needed to go because Chanyeol was waiting. Junmyeon cleared his throat as he walked past Yifan with a wave of hand.
“Junmyeon, wait,” Yifan said.
Junmyeon thought he probably would’ve stopped walking when Yifan said his name, but the taller of the two just had to grab his arm to prevent him from moving forward. Junmyeon’s eyes dropped to Yifan’s hand on his arm-which was big-and blushed.
“How did you know Yixing...?”
Junmyeon’s heart started badly at that and he could feel his entire body trembling-whether out of fear or nervousness, he couldn’t tell. He swallowed thickly as he tried to stay calm by not staring at Yifan. “He-he was an intern at my workplace a few months ago. You know, for his essay or something...” Junmyeon finally braved himself to look up. “Are you his friend...?”
“Well, it’s clear that we both hate each other, so I won’t exactly say we’re friends. But we’re studying in the same university, though.”
Junmyeon blinked. “U-university?”
“Yeah.”
“You-you’re a college guy?”
“...yeah.”
“B-but you’re so tall!” Junmyeon instinctively whined and covered his mouth with a hand. “Oh God, kids these days-“
Yifan smirked and he was about to say something more when Junmyeon’s phone rang loudly.
“Ah, it’s my boyfriend, I gotta go,” Junmyeon yelped and waved a hand at Yifan. This time, Yifan let him go. “See you around, Yifan...”
It was when Junmyeon was done paying and heading out to the exit that he realized Yifan was nowhere to be found.
***
A month had passed like a breeze.
Kyungsoo dropped by to Junmyeon's cubicle with a cup of coffee and Junmyeon accepted it gratefully. “You know, the manager just had to ask me if you’re not gonna change your mind.”
Junmyeon groaned. “He should understand that it’s hard on me too.”
Kyungsoo stared silently at Junmyeon before leaning slightly against the older male’s desk. “If it’s that hard for you to leave...why don’t you just find a reason for you to stay?”
Junmyeon almost dropped his coffee when he stared at Kyungsoo. “Huh?”
“Take your work for example,” Kyungsoo suggested. “I’m not saying that you should sacrifice everything for Chanyeol, but...if it makes you happy, then why not? I’m just saying, maybe you should consider the possibility of having a long-distance relationship with Chanyeol if you really like this job so much.”
Junmyeon’s expression dimmed and Kyungsoo patted his shoulder lightly.
“It’s just a suggestion, Hyung. But yeah, going to LA is also a great opportunity,” Kyungsoo paused with a smile. “Well, I’ll still always support your decision, you know.”
The conversation was interrupted when Junmyeon’s fixed phone rang and he quickly picked up. Kyungsoo was about to leave, but when he noticed Junmyeon’s confused expression, he didn’t move. Junmyeon placed the receiver back onto its place and stood up.
“What’s wrong?”
“The receptionist said I have a guest,” Junmyeon said slowly. “She said he’s tall. It-it could be Chanyeol. But...” he looked at his phone in confusion. “Why didn’t he call me?”
Junmyeon headed to the receptionist with Kyungsoo trailing behind him. The doe-eyed male stopped at a safe distance to observe everything that was happening. Kyungsoo wasn’t the type to poke his nose into other people’s problems, but he couldn’t help but feel curious about the mysterious stranger. He would just head back to his cubicle if it was Chanyeol.
It wasn’t.
Junmyeon was utterly surprised when he found out it was Yifan.
“Yi-Yifan...? What are you doing here?” He asked as he approached the taller male. “Wait, how did you even know...?”
“I asked Yixing where did he do his internship,” Yifan looked sheepish as he explained. “It wasn’t easy to snatch a piece of information from him, you know. Oh, by the way, coffee.” He said casually as he handed the coffee cup to Junmyeon. “Didn’t know what you like, so... I just had to order everyone’s favorites.”
Junmyeon was speechless. He received the generous offer and his eyes widened slightly at the brand, because it was quite expensive. Yifan was just a college student, he shouldn’t have... Nonetheless, he felt a bit happy and curved his lips upward.
“Thank you,” Junmyeon said softly, and Yifan’s eyes gleamed. “Did you-did you just want to give me this or...?”
“Ah,” Yifan looked embarrassed once again. The taller of the two rubbed his nape. “I-I don’t have your number.”
Junmyeon deadpanned. “My number.”
“Yeah.”
“B-but...”
“Or I could just come here whenever I want to see you, it doesn’t really matter,” Yifan shrugged.
Junmyeon went pale. It would be bad if Yifan came to see him often. What if people were starting to think he was cheating or something? Junmyeon let out a defeated sigh as he extended a hand to Yifan. “Your phone.” Yifan gave him his phone and Junmyeon started typing something on the screen. A minute later, Junmyeon’s phone rang and the older male ended the call. “There.”
Yifan looked happy, even though he didn’t smile. “Thank you.”
Junmyeon simply smiled in return and he definitely didn’t see it coming. Yifan swept few strands on Junmyeon's forehead lightly before turning around to leave. Junmyeon’s heartbeats increased dramatically at the simple touch and he placed a hand over his chest, trying to stop the erratic beats.
It didn’t work.
[2]
Author: FloweryMisha
Pairing: KrisHo
Warning: BoyxBoy love. Enough said.
Summary: Junmyeon was like a shining star in the dark sky. Yifan knew he could never reach him, but he couldn’t help but try.
Author's Note: Much love to tikibuddy91 for proofreading this for me <333 I hope I'm not disappointing you sobs AND PLEASE, NO TRANSLATIONS ALLOWED!
Don’t say we’re not right for each other because the way I see it, we’re not right for anyone else.
--The Cutting Edge
Junmyeon thought his life was flowing smoothly the way it was supposed to be.
It wasn’t rushed. It wasn’t too slow. It was close to perfect.
Junmyeon got his first boyfriend and his first kiss at the age of seventeen. For some people, it might be a bit too late, but for Junmyeon, it was perfect. He was always careful when it came to relationship because he didn’t want to date someone that he wasn’t comfortable with. First boyfriend wasn’t always first love, but Choi Minho was both. The male was tall, handsome and flawless and Junmyeon thought he might be living a dream. They were all right. They were happy.
But not all happy stories ended well.
Junmyeon experienced his first heartbreak the next year. He was eighteen at that moment and he never thought that it would be painful. Minho’s parents had sent their son to France to study, and long distance relationship was hard. The time zone difference made them unable to communicate properly and Junmyeon couldn’t afford it if his phone bills were going to be that expensive every months. Both of them had done their best to hold on and survive, but in the end, they knew that it wasn’t going to work out.
They said first love never dies. After his break up with Minho, Junmyeon didn’t date anyone in university because he thought it was the time to study, and not the time to date and have fun. Or maybe it was just because he wasn’t over Minho...he wasn’t really sure.
At the age of twenty-two, Junmyeon graduated from a university and he got a dream job at a well-known company. He had been working very hard that he didn’t even manage to find someone he could spend his weekend with. Junmyeon managed to form a friendship with a endearing male, named Kyungsoo, who had a younger boyfriend named Jongin. He always turned down Kyungsoo’s offer to hang out, but he finally obeyed half-heartedly when the doe-eyed male dragged him to a party with Jongin-just for the sake of meeting new people, because all Junmyeon saw everyday was papers and files and documents and computer screens, and it wasn’t healthy.
He made new friends, but he still didn’t date anyone.
Junmyeon met Chanyeol when he was twenty five.
It was the first time his heart skipped a beat after such a long time and Junmyeon thought he should follow his heart this time. Chanyeol was perfect. The male was tall and kind, and he laughed a lot. Junmyeon kind of liked the way the taller male would wrap an arm around his shoulder as they walked together. Despite the fact that Chanyeol was a year younger, something about him felt right. Junmyeon let Chanyeol kissed him. Chanyeol kissed him, held his hand, loved him, and Junmyeon let him. He loved him back in return.
Their relationship was perfect. They never had a fight. Their relationship caused a lot of people to feel envious because it was like a dream relationship and they were meant to be with each other. So perfect that it made Junmyeon empty. Nonetheless, he held on tightly to Chanyeol because they had been together for two years and if there was anyone who understood him, it was Chanyeol. Junmyeon thought he would be stupid to let Chanyeol go because of something unreasonable.
When he was twenty-seven, Chanyeol proposed to him.
Junmyeon didn’t know whether he should’ve screamed with delight or cry from the happiness, or burst into tears. He did nothing but stare blankly at Chanyeol, as though the taller male had done something really embarrassing. Junmyeon visibly bit his lower lip at the kneeling Chanyeol before him, and he probably said something that really hurt.
“Aren’t we-aren’t we rushing...?”
Chanyeol’s expression faltered at that and Junmyeon mentally panicked.
“Are we...?” Chanyeol asked back calmly, but his face was filled with sadness. Junmyeon felt his chest tightening at his boyfriend’s expression. Chanyeol stared at the velvet box in his hand. “...the company’s sending me to Los Angeles for work, Junmyeon-ah.”
“LA...?”
“Yeah. And I-I want you to come with me,” Chanyeol muttered bashfully. “Well, there are a lot of things that I need to prepare and it would probably take months, but once it’s fixed, I’m flying there and I...I wish you could come with me.”
Junmyeon’s throat went dry. Chanyeol was still kneeling before him with the small velvet box, and Junmyeon thought it was probably his time. Their relationship had been going for two years now and for him, Chanyeol was perfect. His boyfriend was handsome and tall and with a great job, and he would definitely make a good husband, so Junmyeon had nothing to be worried about, right...?
Right...?
Junmyeon didn’t know.
Chanyeol strained a smile. “Do you want to think about it first...?”
Junmyeon wasn’t sure if anyone else would be as kind as Chanyeol in proposing. He stared deeply into Chanyeol’s eyes, and he knew the emotions were sincere. Chanyeol really did love him. Chanyeol really did want him to accompany him to LA. Chanyeol... Chanyeol was his life.
Holding on to those thoughts, Junmyeon slowly lifted up his hand to touch the taller male’s and nodded.
“No,” Junmyeon said softly. “I-I’ll go with you, Chanyeol-ah...”
Chanyeol’s expression brightened and Junmyeon thought he had done the right thing.
***
Junmyeon rested his cheek on his fist as he stared blankly at his coffee.
Funny because he was supposed to feel happy now that his boyfriend had proposed-not everyone was lucky enough to have that, not even a hetero couple. Heck, two people could be in a relationship for five years and neither of them would be brave enough to talk about commitment-marriage, in this case. Funny because instead of happiness, it was fear that started to grow within Junmyeon. And it wasn’t just fear, but also worry and doubts and everything that could be categorized under negative.
Junmyeon rubbed his eye and wondered if it was a good decision to say yes.
Luhan had gone asgdajsdgjhdsk at him on the phone when he informed him of the news and Junmyeon wished he could have had his best friend’s reaction instead when Chanyeol had proposed. Nonetheless, it was going to be all right because...well, it was Chanyeol who he was going to marry and not anyone new.
“Junmyeon-hyung, sorry for waiting.”
Junmyeon looked up from his untouched coffee and smiled when he saw Kyungsoo approaching. He shook his head in response as if to say that it was all right. The younger male sat on the empty seat across him and spoke without preamble.
“I heard the news, congratulations!”
“E-eh?” Junmyeon was taken aback.
“Chanyeol called Jongin immediately after you said yes,” Kyungsoo smiled happily as he took off his jacket. “It was really sweet for him to do such thing! But LA...? That’s really far away.”
Junmyeon didn’t expect Kyungsoo to know about the news and he certainly didn’t feel like telling the other male, but then he forced himself to smile and nodded. “Chanyeol said it would probably take two or three months for preparation...?” Junmyeon took a long time to stare at Kyungsoo’s smiley expression, as if he was studying how to do exactly the same.
“Yeah, but still, it’s not like two or three months would cover all of the things we’ve been through,” Kyungsoo pouted. Junmyeon copied his earlier smile, but Kyungsoo could see right through him that there wasn’t any emotion underneath it. “Hyung? Are you okay?”
Junmyeon’s smile faltered. “What?”
“Are you okay with going to LA?”
Junmyeon dropped his gaze back to his coffee. He was pretty sure it had gotten cold now. “Yeah. Why wouldn’t I be...?”
“Because you don’t feel like it...?”
Junmyeon snapped his head back to Kyungsoo. The younger male was giving him such an intense stare that it caused him to feel like a kid who was caught playing video game when he was supposed to be studying. Junmyeon wordlessly stared back. “No, it’s...it’s okay. I...I love Chanyeol.”
“Do you?”
Junmyeon visibly tensed at the question and he felt suffocated. Kyungsoo was giving him a serious look before his lips curved upward in a relaxed smile.
“I’m starving, what do you want to eat?”
***
Luhan must have told Junmyeon's mother about it that it got his mother to call him.
Junmyeon hadn’t told any of his family about this, because...well, he wasn’t sure how he wanted them to react. Chanyeol was such a sweetheart and he had introduced him to his parents via Skype because they lived in a different city. It didn’t take long for his mother to like Chanyeol, and his father even said he had picked someone good. Junmyeon was doing his monthly shopping when his mother called and he half-heartedly took the call.
“Congratulations, sweetheart! Luhan told me the news!”
Junmyeon forced himself to smile as he lowered the speaker’s volume. His mother tended to speak in a high-pitched tone whenever she was excited. “Uh...yeah. Uh...thank you, Umma.”
“I’m a bit disappointed that you haven’t told me anything about it,” he could sense his mother pouting. “But I understand. You have a lot to prepare. So does this mean you’re going to quit your job? That is such a shame, it’s really a good company...”
Junmyeon stopped pushing his cart and swallowed. “I know. Maybe-maybe I should rethink about my decision...”
There was a long moment of silence at the end of the line and Junmyeon felt like stuffing a fist in his mouth. Stupid, stupid, he mentally cursed himself.
“I don’t think it’s necessary, Junmyeonnie. Marriage is a wonderful thing.”
Junmyeon sighed into his phone. “It’s not that, Umma. It’s just-it’s just LA is too far away... I said yes without thinking-“
“But if you really love Chanyeol, then it’s not a problem.”
Junmyeon fell silent. There was a small amount of sadness formed in his chest as he dropped his gaze to a cereal box in his cart. “You’re right...”
His mother was definitely smiling as she continued to speak. “I have to say that Chanyeol is a really nice guy. Even his height is perfect for you, come on, Junmyeonnie, where else can you find someone as tall as him?” Junmyeon rolled his eyes at this because she was saying that he was short. “He’s a well-mannered guy and he has a decent job. And that’s what matters, Junmyeonnie.”
Junmyeon bitterly closed his eyes because for parents, having a decent job was what was important.
“I understand, Umma...”
***
Junmyeon tried to convince himself that he wanted this. He wanted Chanyeol, he wanted to live with Chanyeol, he wanted Chanyeol to be happy.
He had told his managers that he would quit in a month or two and he got disbelieving stares in return. They told him it was such a shame because Junmyeon was talented and was lucky enough to be chosen into the company, and it was such a shame that he sacrificed everything for one man.
Their words were harsh, of course, because Junmyeon thought he loved Chanyeol and that he was more than willing to sacrifice anything-not just his job-to be with him, but as he took a shortcut home through a park, he wondered if it was all right for him to postpone everything and told Chanyeol that his job meant a lot to him...
Kyungsoo didn’t ask how the preparations go and Junmyeon was grateful for it because he wasn’t going to be able to hide his facial expressions. With Luhan, he could lie perfectly because they would be talking on the phone.
Junmyeon almost dropped everything onto the ground when someone stumbled in front of him out of nowhere. He screamed in shock, thinking that it could be a rapist or a muggler or a ghost. Junmyeon hastily took his phone out and was about to call the police or the fire department or Chanyeol-why did his boyfriend come in last?-when he realized the person in front of him looked like he had been in a fight.
“Are-are you okay?” Junmyeon asked hesitantly and let out another scream when another person stumbled out of a bush nearby to attack the male. The fighting continued and he frantically dialed 911 as he took few giant steps back when he recognized the other male. Junmyeon gaped and instinctively ended the call as he tilted his head to get a better look. “Yixing...?”
The said male snapped his head to Junmyeon at that and he got a punch in the face the next second.
“Oh God,” Junmyeon cried in horror. “Yixing, stop fighting!” None of the boys seemed to pay attention and Junmyeon cringed because Yixing was starting to cough blood and the blond haired male’s lips were bleeding. Junmyeon was scared as he looked around, searching for anyone who could help him stop the fight, but there was none.
Junmyeon then screamed at the top of his lungs.
“I SAID STOP!!!!!”
It seemed to stun both men and Junmyeon took the opportunity to drag Yixing away. He was breathless because he didn’t think he had ever shouted so loud like that in his life before. Junmyeon placed a hand over his chest as he weakly collapsed to his knees on the ground.
“It’s you,” Yixing frowned as he wiped his mouth with the back of his hand. “Junmyeon-ssi, isn’t it?”
Junmyeon feebly nodded. “Why did-why did you guys fight...?”
Yixing fixed his eyes on the blond-haired male before shrugging nonchalantly. “Nice to meet you, Yifan.”
“Yeah,” Yifan spat blood to the empty ground beside him. “Nice to meet you too.”
Junmyeon’s jaw dropped. “Wh-what...?”
“If you’ll excuse me, Junmyeon-ssi,” Yixing said and walked away from them like all they did was just having a cup of tea and a nice, cheerful conversation.
Junmyeon was still recovering from the shock when the male named Yifan stood up with great difficulty. He forced himself to focus and pushed himself off of the ground. “W-wait. Yifan, isn’t it?” Yifan glowered at him and Junmyeon squirmed under his gaze, but he continued anyway. “Are you okay? Let me take you to a hospital...”
Yifan stared at him blankly. “...it will heal. Besides, I hate hospitals.”
Junmyeon knew he should have ended there. But he didn’t. “Well, do you prefer your parents to freak out when you got home with a face like that?”
“Parent,” Yifan corrected. “It’s only my mother. My father died three years ago.”
“Oh, I’m-I’m sorry...”
“My mother is used to this,” Kris motioned his face like it was not a big deal. “Another bruise won’t matter.”
Junmyeon couldn’t bring himself to reply anymore. Yifan gave him an unreadable gaze. Junmyeon noticed his heart skipped a beat, but he shrugged it off because it could still be from the shock. But the way Yifan stared at him made him uncomfortable, and Junmyeon could feel his cheeks heating up.
“Well,” Junmyeon quickly said. “I-I guess I’ll get going then.”
Yifan still hadn’t responded, and when Junmyeon had walked past him, it was then that he realized Yifan was a lot taller than Chanyeol.
***
Junmyeon couldn’t stop thinking about Yifan.
It was probably because the male looked badly beaten, and he wondered if he should’ve just forced Yifan to go to the hospital with him.
Junmyeon spent some of his spare time thinking if he should contact Yixing and asked him about Yifan, but...he hung his head dejectedly and shook his head hard. What the hell was he thinking about...? Oh well, he was just worried. There was nothing wrong about being worried, right...?
Besides, it wasn’t like they would meet again...
But maybe he was wrong.
The next time they met, it was in a toy store.
Chanyeol had called him earlier about his plan to meet his older sister, Yura who happened to be in town with her two-year-old baby. Junmyeon was a bit nervous because Yura had always been good to him, and he thought he should at least buy something for the niece. He didn’t really know what to buy, but girls probably would like dolls and plushies so Junmyeon headed to the nearest toy store from his office.
Junmyeon was a bit lost of what to choose. He should probably close his eyes and randomly picked something out. Should he choose Pokemon? Pororo? Shaun the Sheep? Angry Birds? Junmyeon wanted to laugh at his pathetic taste of plushies and thought he should just choose Barbie or Teddy Bear instead. He picked the nicest-and quite expensive, might he add-soft, brown Teddy Bear and Junmyeon was about to head to the cashier when he spotted an extremely tall, blond-haired male.
Yifan...?
Junmyeon didn’t know if it was because of instinct that Yifan turned to him or because he had said the name out loud. Yifan stared at him with a slight frown, probably wondering who he was, before finally dawning with realization. Junmyeon decided to be casual and threw him a smile.
“Hi. L-looking for a gift?”
Yifan seemed to recognize his voice because his eyebrows were raised and he looked somewhat embarrassed. “Yeah. You?”
“Of course,” Junmyeon replied. “I’m too told for dolls and stuffs,” he chuckled after he said that and afterwards, failing to see that Yifan tensing up. “Are you buying for your...um, girlfriend?”
“...”
Junmyeon waited for an answer, but it never came. He absently gazed at Yifan’s face. The latter’s lips were slightly bruised and there was a small bandage plastered on the corner of his lips, but even with a slight glance, he could tell that the male was handsome. Very handsome, to be exact. Junmyeon noticed his heart had skipped a beat or two, only that this time was worse than the first time. The silence was starting to kill him that he decided to break it.
“I’d pick this one if I were you,” Junmyeon randomly pointed at a white alpaca plushie and smiled at Yifan as he tried to ease the nervousness inside. “I’d even name him Ace.”
“...white gets dirty easily.”
“Ah, you’re right...then what about the brown one?”
Yifan seemed to take his words very seriously as he took the plushie Junmyeon was talking about.
A huge feeling of wanting to linger swirled within Junmyeon, but as he glanced at his watch, he really needed to go because Chanyeol was waiting. Junmyeon cleared his throat as he walked past Yifan with a wave of hand.
“Junmyeon, wait,” Yifan said.
Junmyeon thought he probably would’ve stopped walking when Yifan said his name, but the taller of the two just had to grab his arm to prevent him from moving forward. Junmyeon’s eyes dropped to Yifan’s hand on his arm-which was big-and blushed.
“How did you know Yixing...?”
Junmyeon’s heart started badly at that and he could feel his entire body trembling-whether out of fear or nervousness, he couldn’t tell. He swallowed thickly as he tried to stay calm by not staring at Yifan. “He-he was an intern at my workplace a few months ago. You know, for his essay or something...” Junmyeon finally braved himself to look up. “Are you his friend...?”
“Well, it’s clear that we both hate each other, so I won’t exactly say we’re friends. But we’re studying in the same university, though.”
Junmyeon blinked. “U-university?”
“Yeah.”
“You-you’re a college guy?”
“...yeah.”
“B-but you’re so tall!” Junmyeon instinctively whined and covered his mouth with a hand. “Oh God, kids these days-“
Yifan smirked and he was about to say something more when Junmyeon’s phone rang loudly.
“Ah, it’s my boyfriend, I gotta go,” Junmyeon yelped and waved a hand at Yifan. This time, Yifan let him go. “See you around, Yifan...”
It was when Junmyeon was done paying and heading out to the exit that he realized Yifan was nowhere to be found.
***
A month had passed like a breeze.
Kyungsoo dropped by to Junmyeon's cubicle with a cup of coffee and Junmyeon accepted it gratefully. “You know, the manager just had to ask me if you’re not gonna change your mind.”
Junmyeon groaned. “He should understand that it’s hard on me too.”
Kyungsoo stared silently at Junmyeon before leaning slightly against the older male’s desk. “If it’s that hard for you to leave...why don’t you just find a reason for you to stay?”
Junmyeon almost dropped his coffee when he stared at Kyungsoo. “Huh?”
“Take your work for example,” Kyungsoo suggested. “I’m not saying that you should sacrifice everything for Chanyeol, but...if it makes you happy, then why not? I’m just saying, maybe you should consider the possibility of having a long-distance relationship with Chanyeol if you really like this job so much.”
Junmyeon’s expression dimmed and Kyungsoo patted his shoulder lightly.
“It’s just a suggestion, Hyung. But yeah, going to LA is also a great opportunity,” Kyungsoo paused with a smile. “Well, I’ll still always support your decision, you know.”
The conversation was interrupted when Junmyeon’s fixed phone rang and he quickly picked up. Kyungsoo was about to leave, but when he noticed Junmyeon’s confused expression, he didn’t move. Junmyeon placed the receiver back onto its place and stood up.
“What’s wrong?”
“The receptionist said I have a guest,” Junmyeon said slowly. “She said he’s tall. It-it could be Chanyeol. But...” he looked at his phone in confusion. “Why didn’t he call me?”
Junmyeon headed to the receptionist with Kyungsoo trailing behind him. The doe-eyed male stopped at a safe distance to observe everything that was happening. Kyungsoo wasn’t the type to poke his nose into other people’s problems, but he couldn’t help but feel curious about the mysterious stranger. He would just head back to his cubicle if it was Chanyeol.
It wasn’t.
Junmyeon was utterly surprised when he found out it was Yifan.
“Yi-Yifan...? What are you doing here?” He asked as he approached the taller male. “Wait, how did you even know...?”
“I asked Yixing where did he do his internship,” Yifan looked sheepish as he explained. “It wasn’t easy to snatch a piece of information from him, you know. Oh, by the way, coffee.” He said casually as he handed the coffee cup to Junmyeon. “Didn’t know what you like, so... I just had to order everyone’s favorites.”
Junmyeon was speechless. He received the generous offer and his eyes widened slightly at the brand, because it was quite expensive. Yifan was just a college student, he shouldn’t have... Nonetheless, he felt a bit happy and curved his lips upward.
“Thank you,” Junmyeon said softly, and Yifan’s eyes gleamed. “Did you-did you just want to give me this or...?”
“Ah,” Yifan looked embarrassed once again. The taller of the two rubbed his nape. “I-I don’t have your number.”
Junmyeon deadpanned. “My number.”
“Yeah.”
“B-but...”
“Or I could just come here whenever I want to see you, it doesn’t really matter,” Yifan shrugged.
Junmyeon went pale. It would be bad if Yifan came to see him often. What if people were starting to think he was cheating or something? Junmyeon let out a defeated sigh as he extended a hand to Yifan. “Your phone.” Yifan gave him his phone and Junmyeon started typing something on the screen. A minute later, Junmyeon’s phone rang and the older male ended the call. “There.”
Yifan looked happy, even though he didn’t smile. “Thank you.”
Junmyeon simply smiled in return and he definitely didn’t see it coming. Yifan swept few strands on Junmyeon's forehead lightly before turning around to leave. Junmyeon’s heartbeats increased dramatically at the simple touch and he placed a hand over his chest, trying to stop the erratic beats.
It didn’t work.
[2]