Of Curiosity and (Not So Innocent) Questions [1/1]
Title: Of Curiosity and (Not So Innocent) Questions [1/1]
Author: FloweryMisha
Pairing: JunSeung, kid!Ilhoon
Warning: BoyxBoy love. Enough said.
Summary: Ilhoon asks too much. Too damn much.
Author’s Note: I am depressed. Sobs. I’m sorry for this T_T Unbeta-ed. Please, no translations allowed!
[Questions Number 1]
“Appa?”
“Yes, sweetheart?”
“Um...”
“Is there something you want to ask me?”
“Yes...but I’m not sure...”
“Sweetheart, I’m your father. If there’s anything you want to ask, just ask. I will answer.”
“Appa, you’re my hero!”
“Of course I am. Now come on, what is on your mind, sweetheart?”
“...alright, Appa. But...please don’t get angry...?”
“I won’t. What is it?”
“Appa...where did I come from...?”
“...look Ilhoonie, rainbows and unicorns. Yeay.”
“...Appa, what did you just do with your hands?”
“N-nothing, sweetheart. Uh...so, what was the question again?”
“I asked you where did I come from.”
“Uh...okay, young man, that’s a tough one.”
“Why is it tough, Appa?”
“Because...um, you’re not old enough.”
“Why am I not old enough?”
“Because, uh...you...still peed on your bed.”
“Oh. So when I stop peeing on my bed, I’m old enough...?”
“...that’s...one way to describe it.”
“...okay...it’s just, Daehyun already knows where he came from so-“
“D-Daehyun knows already? Dammit that Son family, what the hell were they thinking?? Discussing such thing with children! Did they even have any idea-oh God, ugh. Okay, listen to me, Ilhoonie. If Daehyun already knows, then you deserve to know too. It’s a very, very long journey to get you out of...where you came from.”
“...a very, very long journey?”
“Yes. It took your umma-your real umma-nine months to carry you around in her tummy.”
“I-I was in umma’s tummy?”
“Yes.”
“Did she feel tired carrying me around?”
“Quite the opposite, she was very happy having you. But she didn’t feel heavy or burdened at all. No, don’t touch your tummy, Ilhoonie, no one’s going to grow in there, not for us males. So at first you weren’t as big as now, but that’s the almighty of the Lord above, you started from-I said don’t touch your tummy, sweetheart-uh, from...uh, scratch. Well, uh, anyway, nine months later and you were born. Yeay.”
“...”
“Repeat after me. Yeay.”
“...that is sure long, Appa. So the next time Seonsangnim asked me that, I’m gonna answer...that.”
“Wait-your teacher asked you that question??”
“Yeah. Not to me, though. She asked Daehyun.”
“What the hell-seriously, I’m gonna come over to your school and ask her to be fired or something! What did she think she was doing, corrupting my little Ilhoonie like that... And did Daehyun answer her irrational question?”
“Yeah. He told her he came from Busan.”
“...”
“...Appa?”
“HOLY SHIT ILHOONIE FORGET EVERYTHING I TOLD YOU, YOU CAME FROM SEOUL, SEOUL!”
“B-but you just said-“
“NO NO IT WAS ONLY A JOKE, A JOKE AND NO OTHER!! COME ON ILHOONIE, WHERE DID YOU COME FROM?”
“...from my umma’s tummy-“
“NO YOU DID NOT AND STOP TOUCHING YOUR TUMMY SWEETHEART!”
“...in Seoul.”
[Questions Number 2]
“Appa...?”
“Yes, sweetheart?”
“Um...”
“Is there something you want to ask me?”
“Yes...but I’m not sure...”
“Sweetheart, I’m your father. If there’s anything you want to ask, just ask me. I will answer.”
“Appa, you’re my hero!”
“Of course I am. Now come on, what is on your mind, sweetheart?”
“...alright, Appa. But...please don’t get angry?”
“I won’t. What is it?”
“Appa...when two people fall in love, what would they do?”
“...look Ilhoonie, a flying cow in the middle of the day!”
“...Appa, what did you just do with your hands?”
“N-nothing, sweetheart. So, uh...what was the question again?”
“I asked you, when two people fall in love, what would they do?”
“They would, uh...they would be very honest with each other.”
“...okay.”
“They would...uh...they would save up some money, and...buy a house. A car. A bicycle. A flower pot.”
“...a flower pot?”
“Whichever necessary and important for the couple, sweetheart. And then...they would sleep together.”
“Sleep together like you and Umma, Appa?”
“Yes. Like us, we sleep in the same bed, sharing the same blanket, sometimes without clothes, and don’t forget one of the nights when sometimes one of us are just too deprived to-I mean, uh, nevermind.”
“...”
“Uh...”
“You always have long answers, Appa. Daehyun said when two people fall in love, they would live happily ever after. Just like in those fairy tales.”
“That Son’s son...again? Well...he does have a point... You can take me and your umma for example. We live happily ever after. With you.”
“Does that mean you and Umma are in love?”
“Very much, Ilhoonie. Very much.”
“I love you and umma so much, too.”
“I-we love you more, sweetheart. More than you’ll ever know.”
“Even if we don’t sleep together in a bed, Appa?”
“...even if we don’t sleep together...in a bed, sweetheart.”
“I understand now, Appa. So when two people fall in love, they would get married and save some money. And then they would live happily ever after, because they will be honest about wanting to sleep without clothes beside each other and not forgetting to mention the nights when one of them is too deprived to do whatever it is necessary.”
“Um, Ihoonie, I don’t think I said it in that order-“
“Okay. I’ll go back and start working on my writing homework. I’ll have Umma read it later!”
“S-Seungie? B-but sweetheart-“
(twenty minutes later)
“DAMMIT YONG JUNHYUNG WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU TELL OUR SON??”
[Questions Number 3]
“Appa...?”
“Yes, sweetheart?”
“Um...”
“Is there something you want to ask me?”
“Yes...but I’m not sure...”
“Sweetheart, I’m your father. If there’s anything you want to ask, just ask me. I will answer.”
“Appa, you’re my hero!”
“Of course I am. Now come on, what is on your mind, sweetheart?”
“...alright, Appa. But please don’t get angry?”
“I won’t. What is it?”
“Appa...what is an orgasm?”
“...LOOK ILHOON THERE ARE DIAMONDS IN THE SKY!!”
“...appa, did you just quote the lyrics from Rihanna?”
“...sweetheart, where did you even hear the word?”
“Orgasm? We were working together on our first biology class the other day and Daehyun mentioned it, Appa.”
“...Son Daehyun...?”
“Yes!”
“Ilhoonie...?”
“Yes, Appa?”
“Why don’t you be a good boy for a while and do your homework while I go to the Son’s house to murder his father.”
“B-but I like Uncle Woonie!”
“Fine, I’ll bring you his head.”
“A-Appa!”
“Hhh...seriously, kids these days... I need to speak with Dongwoon about family manners... He really shouldn’t have mentioned those kind of things in front of his kid, I mean, look at what Daehyun’s done to my innocent Ilhoon...the next time we meet for those Beast soccer matches, I’m gonna aim for his head and I’m not gonna be held responsible because it might be an accident-”
“Appa, why do you like to talk to yourself so much?”
“...I’m sorry, sweetheart. It’s automatic. ...very well then Ilhoonie, I only say this because I think you’re old enough. And I want you to know that after you know the meaning, you’re not allowed to do anything to feel it. You got that?”
“...I don’t really understand but yes, Appa.”
“Good. That’s the Yong Ilhoon I’m proud of. Now where should I start...”
“...”
“...orgasm is...an extremely...pleased feeling.”
“Pleased...?”
“Y-yeah, like...oh my God how do I explain this to a kid. You’re...high...and then you release all of it...and you’re done.”
“...that’s...confusing.”
“I know, sweetheart. That’s all I can say for now.”
“So...so it’s a feeling? I think I recalled Daehyun saying something about living creatures...”
“...”
“Appa...?”
“HOLY SHIT YOU MEAN ORGANISM?? ORGANISM-LET ME SEE YOUR BOOK-ILHOONIE HOW THE HELL DID YOU MISS ‘NI’ IT’S OBVIOUSLY WRITTEN THERE-calm down, Yong Junhyung, calm down-FORGET EVERYTHING I TOLD YOU, IT’S OF COURSE BY ALL MEANS ANY LIVING BIOLOGICAL ENTITY-YOU MEAN LIKE ANIMAL, PLANT EVEN FUNGUS AND BACTERIUM RIGHT??”
“B-but you just said-“
“NO NO IT WAS ONLY A JOKE! IT WAS ONLY A JOKE AND NO OTHER!! COME ON ILHOONIE WHAT IS AN ORGANISM?”
“...any living creature-“
“YES YES YOU ARE RIGHT! I’M VERY PROUD OF YOU!”
“-with an extremely pleased feeling.”
[Questions Number 4]
“Appa...?”
“Yes, sweetheart?”
“Um...”
“Is-is there something you want to ask me?”
“Yes...but I’m not sure...”
“...”
“Appa, why are you whimpering? Are you sick?”
“N-no I’m not, sweetheart. Okay...bring it on. You can ask me anything. ...Seung, help me here.”
“Don’t be silly, Jun, your son wants to ask you so you answer. Besides, his questions aren’t gonna be dangerous anyway.”
“B-but-“
“ANSWER.”
“O-okay... W-what do you have in mind, Ilhoonie?”
“But please don’t get angry...?”
“I won’t...what is it?”
“Why is the sky so blue, Appa...?”
“...”
“See, Jun? Told you it’s not dangerous.”
“...”
“Appa...?”
“Junnie?”
“T-the sky is so blue b-because-there’s-there are so many clouds. And the clouds...contain water. And the water...they...v-vaporize-“
“Junnie, what are you doing? You don’t explain like that to kids his age. He’ll never understand.”
“Pardon me, Seung, but I am extremely stupid with science.”
“That’s not what I mean, Jun. Ilhoonie...?”
“Yes, Umma?”
“The sky is blue because it’s God’s favorite color.”
“Oh wow... Really?”
“Uh-huh.”
“...I like blue, too, Umma.”
“It’s my favorite color too, sweetheart. Come here and give Umma a hug.”
“Yeay! A hug!”
“Seung...?”
“Hm...?”
“I love you.”
“Of course. What would you do without me, Yong Junhyung?”
[Questions in Between]
“Seung...?”
“Hm.”
“How come you’re so natural whenever you handle Ilhoon?”
“Am I natural...?”
“Yeah. I-I certainly wouldn’t be able to answer his questions the way you did earlier. I mean, Ilhoon’s growing up and he’s definitely gonna have a lot of questions to ask but...everytime he asks me, I’m like... ‘oh God I have to tell him the truth or else he wouldn’t understand.’ But seeing you back there...with your gentle smile and your rational reason...”
“Yes...?”
“Maybe...maybe it’s just what he needs.”
“I think it depends on the question, though. But really, Ilhoon is still innocent and you have to answer it as natural as possible, too.”
“...you’re right.”
“You can do it, Junnie. You’re a great father.”
“Oh God, what would I be without you?”
“A very, very stupid father.”
“...okay.”
[Questions Number 5]
“Umma...?”
“Yes, sweetheart?”
“Um...”
“Is there something you want to ask me?”
“Y-yeah, usually I ask Appa but I’m not sure, Umma...”
“It’s alright, I can also answer. What is it that you have in mind, Ilhoonie?”
“B-but please don’t get angry...”
“I won’t. What is it...?”
“Umma...”
“Hm?”
“Why don’t I have boobs?”
“...go ask your father, Ilhoonie.”
End.
Author: FloweryMisha
Pairing: JunSeung, kid!Ilhoon
Warning: BoyxBoy love. Enough said.
Summary: Ilhoon asks too much. Too damn much.
Author’s Note: I am depressed. Sobs. I’m sorry for this T_T Unbeta-ed. Please, no translations allowed!
[Questions Number 1]
“Appa?”
“Yes, sweetheart?”
“Um...”
“Is there something you want to ask me?”
“Yes...but I’m not sure...”
“Sweetheart, I’m your father. If there’s anything you want to ask, just ask. I will answer.”
“Appa, you’re my hero!”
“Of course I am. Now come on, what is on your mind, sweetheart?”
“...alright, Appa. But...please don’t get angry...?”
“I won’t. What is it?”
“Appa...where did I come from...?”
“...look Ilhoonie, rainbows and unicorns. Yeay.”
“...Appa, what did you just do with your hands?”
“N-nothing, sweetheart. Uh...so, what was the question again?”
“I asked you where did I come from.”
“Uh...okay, young man, that’s a tough one.”
“Why is it tough, Appa?”
“Because...um, you’re not old enough.”
“Why am I not old enough?”
“Because, uh...you...still peed on your bed.”
“Oh. So when I stop peeing on my bed, I’m old enough...?”
“...that’s...one way to describe it.”
“...okay...it’s just, Daehyun already knows where he came from so-“
“D-Daehyun knows already? Dammit that Son family, what the hell were they thinking?? Discussing such thing with children! Did they even have any idea-oh God, ugh. Okay, listen to me, Ilhoonie. If Daehyun already knows, then you deserve to know too. It’s a very, very long journey to get you out of...where you came from.”
“...a very, very long journey?”
“Yes. It took your umma-your real umma-nine months to carry you around in her tummy.”
“I-I was in umma’s tummy?”
“Yes.”
“Did she feel tired carrying me around?”
“Quite the opposite, she was very happy having you. But she didn’t feel heavy or burdened at all. No, don’t touch your tummy, Ilhoonie, no one’s going to grow in there, not for us males. So at first you weren’t as big as now, but that’s the almighty of the Lord above, you started from-I said don’t touch your tummy, sweetheart-uh, from...uh, scratch. Well, uh, anyway, nine months later and you were born. Yeay.”
“...”
“Repeat after me. Yeay.”
“...that is sure long, Appa. So the next time Seonsangnim asked me that, I’m gonna answer...that.”
“Wait-your teacher asked you that question??”
“Yeah. Not to me, though. She asked Daehyun.”
“What the hell-seriously, I’m gonna come over to your school and ask her to be fired or something! What did she think she was doing, corrupting my little Ilhoonie like that... And did Daehyun answer her irrational question?”
“Yeah. He told her he came from Busan.”
“...”
“...Appa?”
“HOLY SHIT ILHOONIE FORGET EVERYTHING I TOLD YOU, YOU CAME FROM SEOUL, SEOUL!”
“B-but you just said-“
“NO NO IT WAS ONLY A JOKE, A JOKE AND NO OTHER!! COME ON ILHOONIE, WHERE DID YOU COME FROM?”
“...from my umma’s tummy-“
“NO YOU DID NOT AND STOP TOUCHING YOUR TUMMY SWEETHEART!”
“...in Seoul.”
[Questions Number 2]
“Appa...?”
“Yes, sweetheart?”
“Um...”
“Is there something you want to ask me?”
“Yes...but I’m not sure...”
“Sweetheart, I’m your father. If there’s anything you want to ask, just ask me. I will answer.”
“Appa, you’re my hero!”
“Of course I am. Now come on, what is on your mind, sweetheart?”
“...alright, Appa. But...please don’t get angry?”
“I won’t. What is it?”
“Appa...when two people fall in love, what would they do?”
“...look Ilhoonie, a flying cow in the middle of the day!”
“...Appa, what did you just do with your hands?”
“N-nothing, sweetheart. So, uh...what was the question again?”
“I asked you, when two people fall in love, what would they do?”
“They would, uh...they would be very honest with each other.”
“...okay.”
“They would...uh...they would save up some money, and...buy a house. A car. A bicycle. A flower pot.”
“...a flower pot?”
“Whichever necessary and important for the couple, sweetheart. And then...they would sleep together.”
“Sleep together like you and Umma, Appa?”
“Yes. Like us, we sleep in the same bed, sharing the same blanket, sometimes without clothes, and don’t forget one of the nights when sometimes one of us are just too deprived to-I mean, uh, nevermind.”
“...”
“Uh...”
“You always have long answers, Appa. Daehyun said when two people fall in love, they would live happily ever after. Just like in those fairy tales.”
“That Son’s son...again? Well...he does have a point... You can take me and your umma for example. We live happily ever after. With you.”
“Does that mean you and Umma are in love?”
“Very much, Ilhoonie. Very much.”
“I love you and umma so much, too.”
“I-we love you more, sweetheart. More than you’ll ever know.”
“Even if we don’t sleep together in a bed, Appa?”
“...even if we don’t sleep together...in a bed, sweetheart.”
“I understand now, Appa. So when two people fall in love, they would get married and save some money. And then they would live happily ever after, because they will be honest about wanting to sleep without clothes beside each other and not forgetting to mention the nights when one of them is too deprived to do whatever it is necessary.”
“Um, Ihoonie, I don’t think I said it in that order-“
“Okay. I’ll go back and start working on my writing homework. I’ll have Umma read it later!”
“S-Seungie? B-but sweetheart-“
(twenty minutes later)
“DAMMIT YONG JUNHYUNG WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU TELL OUR SON??”
[Questions Number 3]
“Appa...?”
“Yes, sweetheart?”
“Um...”
“Is there something you want to ask me?”
“Yes...but I’m not sure...”
“Sweetheart, I’m your father. If there’s anything you want to ask, just ask me. I will answer.”
“Appa, you’re my hero!”
“Of course I am. Now come on, what is on your mind, sweetheart?”
“...alright, Appa. But please don’t get angry?”
“I won’t. What is it?”
“Appa...what is an orgasm?”
“...LOOK ILHOON THERE ARE DIAMONDS IN THE SKY!!”
“...appa, did you just quote the lyrics from Rihanna?”
“...sweetheart, where did you even hear the word?”
“Orgasm? We were working together on our first biology class the other day and Daehyun mentioned it, Appa.”
“...Son Daehyun...?”
“Yes!”
“Ilhoonie...?”
“Yes, Appa?”
“Why don’t you be a good boy for a while and do your homework while I go to the Son’s house to murder his father.”
“B-but I like Uncle Woonie!”
“Fine, I’ll bring you his head.”
“A-Appa!”
“Hhh...seriously, kids these days... I need to speak with Dongwoon about family manners... He really shouldn’t have mentioned those kind of things in front of his kid, I mean, look at what Daehyun’s done to my innocent Ilhoon...the next time we meet for those Beast soccer matches, I’m gonna aim for his head and I’m not gonna be held responsible because it might be an accident-”
“Appa, why do you like to talk to yourself so much?”
“...I’m sorry, sweetheart. It’s automatic. ...very well then Ilhoonie, I only say this because I think you’re old enough. And I want you to know that after you know the meaning, you’re not allowed to do anything to feel it. You got that?”
“...I don’t really understand but yes, Appa.”
“Good. That’s the Yong Ilhoon I’m proud of. Now where should I start...”
“...”
“...orgasm is...an extremely...pleased feeling.”
“Pleased...?”
“Y-yeah, like...oh my God how do I explain this to a kid. You’re...high...and then you release all of it...and you’re done.”
“...that’s...confusing.”
“I know, sweetheart. That’s all I can say for now.”
“So...so it’s a feeling? I think I recalled Daehyun saying something about living creatures...”
“...”
“Appa...?”
“HOLY SHIT YOU MEAN ORGANISM?? ORGANISM-LET ME SEE YOUR BOOK-ILHOONIE HOW THE HELL DID YOU MISS ‘NI’ IT’S OBVIOUSLY WRITTEN THERE-calm down, Yong Junhyung, calm down-FORGET EVERYTHING I TOLD YOU, IT’S OF COURSE BY ALL MEANS ANY LIVING BIOLOGICAL ENTITY-YOU MEAN LIKE ANIMAL, PLANT EVEN FUNGUS AND BACTERIUM RIGHT??”
“B-but you just said-“
“NO NO IT WAS ONLY A JOKE! IT WAS ONLY A JOKE AND NO OTHER!! COME ON ILHOONIE WHAT IS AN ORGANISM?”
“...any living creature-“
“YES YES YOU ARE RIGHT! I’M VERY PROUD OF YOU!”
“-with an extremely pleased feeling.”
[Questions Number 4]
“Appa...?”
“Yes, sweetheart?”
“Um...”
“Is-is there something you want to ask me?”
“Yes...but I’m not sure...”
“...”
“Appa, why are you whimpering? Are you sick?”
“N-no I’m not, sweetheart. Okay...bring it on. You can ask me anything. ...Seung, help me here.”
“Don’t be silly, Jun, your son wants to ask you so you answer. Besides, his questions aren’t gonna be dangerous anyway.”
“B-but-“
“ANSWER.”
“O-okay... W-what do you have in mind, Ilhoonie?”
“But please don’t get angry...?”
“I won’t...what is it?”
“Why is the sky so blue, Appa...?”
“...”
“See, Jun? Told you it’s not dangerous.”
“...”
“Appa...?”
“Junnie?”
“T-the sky is so blue b-because-there’s-there are so many clouds. And the clouds...contain water. And the water...they...v-vaporize-“
“Junnie, what are you doing? You don’t explain like that to kids his age. He’ll never understand.”
“Pardon me, Seung, but I am extremely stupid with science.”
“That’s not what I mean, Jun. Ilhoonie...?”
“Yes, Umma?”
“The sky is blue because it’s God’s favorite color.”
“Oh wow... Really?”
“Uh-huh.”
“...I like blue, too, Umma.”
“It’s my favorite color too, sweetheart. Come here and give Umma a hug.”
“Yeay! A hug!”
“Seung...?”
“Hm...?”
“I love you.”
“Of course. What would you do without me, Yong Junhyung?”
[Questions in Between]
“Seung...?”
“Hm.”
“How come you’re so natural whenever you handle Ilhoon?”
“Am I natural...?”
“Yeah. I-I certainly wouldn’t be able to answer his questions the way you did earlier. I mean, Ilhoon’s growing up and he’s definitely gonna have a lot of questions to ask but...everytime he asks me, I’m like... ‘oh God I have to tell him the truth or else he wouldn’t understand.’ But seeing you back there...with your gentle smile and your rational reason...”
“Yes...?”
“Maybe...maybe it’s just what he needs.”
“I think it depends on the question, though. But really, Ilhoon is still innocent and you have to answer it as natural as possible, too.”
“...you’re right.”
“You can do it, Junnie. You’re a great father.”
“Oh God, what would I be without you?”
“A very, very stupid father.”
“...okay.”
[Questions Number 5]
“Umma...?”
“Yes, sweetheart?”
“Um...”
“Is there something you want to ask me?”
“Y-yeah, usually I ask Appa but I’m not sure, Umma...”
“It’s alright, I can also answer. What is it that you have in mind, Ilhoonie?”
“B-but please don’t get angry...”
“I won’t. What is it...?”
“Umma...”
“Hm?”
“Why don’t I have boobs?”
“...go ask your father, Ilhoonie.”
End.