Meaningful Separation [1/1]
Title: Meaningful Separation [1/1]
Author: FloweryMisha
Pairing: KrisHo, slight!SuLay
Warning: BoyxBoy love. Enough said.
Summary: For Junmyeon, being apart from Kris only made it worse.
Author's Note: Please, no translations allowed!
Kris easily got jealous toward anyone who approached Junmyeon.
It was probably the reason why Junmyeon became slightly different whenever Kris was around.
The pretty male would change drastically like he had some kind of double personalities. His warm, angelic smiles would turn into nonchalant, simple smiles whenever his boyfriend was near. Junmyeon’s beautiful eyesmile would only appear in any response given to Kris. He would stare and cling tightly to his boyfriend like no one else mattered in the world.
His friends noticed this. Hell, everyone in the university noticed this.
But no one ever protested, not even their close friends. With just a single glance at the couple, all of them knew that what they had was real. Kris’ meaningful glances toward the pretty male proved everything. And the way Junmyeon leaned to the taller male for protection showed the world that the feeling was mutual.
It was actually easy for Junmyeon to just dump Kris because there were a lot of guys lining up for his love, willing to be Kris’ replacement. But Junmyeon couldn’t, no, he wouldn’t ditch Kris for anyone. Maybe it was because of Kris’ godly handsome face. Or maybe, it was Kris’ famous expression of a grumpy bitchface that got Junmyeon fell.
Whatever it was, it had made Junmyeon fallen deeper-too deep, in fact-for the blond haired male.
And strangely, he didn’t mind.
***
There was always a test to every relationship.
And maybe, Yixing was the one for Junmyeon and Kris’ relationship.
The Chinese male had just arrived in Korea. He was the new exchange student who would be learning for a year in their university. The first time Yixing spotted Junmyeon was when he was given directions by Luhan and he passed them by. The pretty male waved slightly at Luhan with a beautiful smile and Yixing found himself craning his neck to his direction-even long after he was gone.
It was his first day in Korea and he already wanted to know someone’s name so badly.
“Who is he?”
Luhan gave him a look. “Yixing...no, anyone but that. You can’t mess with Kim Junmyeon.”
Kim Junmyeon.
“Why?” Yixing tilted his head to a side with a frown. “Don’t tell me. Is his father a mafia or something?”
Luhan only batted his eyelashes in response because clearly Yixing had watched too many movies. “No...because Junmyeon is Yifan’s boyfriend and Yifan is my cousin and I’m gonna skin you alive if you do.”
“Oh,” Yixing breathed. “So he’s somewhat considered as your family.”
“Even if he’s not, you just can’t, okay? They’ve been together for a couple of months now and they’re happy and you shouldn’t disturb a happy couple,” Luhan stated. “It’s just wrong.”
Yixing looked thoughtful for a moment. ”We can’t even be friends?”
Luhan almost threw his hands in frustration to the air and sighed in resignation. It seemed useless to explain, although he didn’t think Yixing would be the stubborn type. Luhan glanced at his wristwatch and motioned the Chinese male to follow him-he still had a lot to show him before dinner. As Yixing followed closely behind him, Luhan cleared his throat before commenting to his last question.
“That depends on Yifan.”
***
Junmyeon’s class would begin in about an hour and he had arrived way too early. The male propped his arms on the table for support with his eyes directed to his untouched cup of coffee. The coffee was actually for Kris. His boyfriend had been texting him that he was incredibly sleepy and without thinking, Junmyeon bought him his favorite coffee in the usual place.
Kris was still on his way to the university and Junmyeon tried killing some time by reading a book. He flipped the pages absentmindedly, trying to digest the printed words on the textbook and all of a sudden, a soft voice sent his thoughts flying.
“Hi.”
Junmyeon slowly shifted his gaze from the book to see a handsome male standing before him. He frowned slightly as he tried to remember where he had seen the male before... A smile was etched onto Junmyeon’s beautiful face as he recalled seeing him the other day with Luhan.
“Hi... Aren’t you the one with Luhan the other day?”
“I am. Wow, you have a good memory,” Yixing complimented. He broke into a smile and Junmyeon saw a cute dimple forming on the other male’s cheek. The male politely offered his hand. “Zhang Yixing.”
Junmyeon gazed at the offered hand for a moment before reluctantly taking it. “Kim Junmyeon.”
“Nice to meet you, Junmyeon.”
“N-nice to meet you too, Yixing...”
Silence followed the conversation soon after. Junmyeon didn’t seem like he would ask Yixing to join him, but even if he did, Yixing wasn’t really in the mood for sitting and chitchatting.
“Are you busy at the moment?”
“Eh?”
“Would you mind showing me around?” Yixing scratched his head sheepishly. “That is, if you don’t mind, of course.”
“Now?” Junmyeon looked uncertain.
“If you have anything else to do, it’s okay. Maybe next time.”
Junmyeon avoided Yixing’s gaze nervously. “It’s just that... I have a class in less than an hour.”
Yixing chuckled. “It would be enough. I’m not asking you for a whole day, am I?”
Junmyeon didn’t look comfortable with the idea. He kept on throwing glances at the clock on his phone screen and seemed to be in thought. Finally, the male gave Yixing a nod. Junmyeon shouldered his backpack, grabbing the cup of his takeaway coffee and led Yixing the way.
They walked side by side to various places on the campus (“Definitely the places that you’ll be visiting a lot”, Junmyeon smiled), from the classes to places such as the library. Despite his serious face, it turned out that Yixing had a good sense of humour. He was funny and Junmyeon found himself erupting into fits of laughter a few times. Yixing also noticed the cup of coffee that Junmyeon had in his hand. The pretty male kept on holding it but made no move to drink it.
It had been a while since Junmyeon laughed whole heartedly like this. Usually with Kris, they would be wrapped in a comfortable silence, polite giggles and warm, linking hands. But it was not that he hated it. Maybe it was just the way they interacted with each other.
The thought of Kris made Junmyeon smiled. He just loved everything about Kris and the slight image of his boyfriend never failed to amuse him.
Their journey ended up sooner than Yixing had expected, but Junmyeon didn’t seem like he would be able to spare any more minute for him. Yixing understood and buried his disappointment, the pretty male did say he had a class after. The male tried to ask for Junmyeon’s number without sounding weird (because they had just met each other) but he swallowed it all down when Junmyeon suddenly stopped walking.
“Yi-Yixing, I have to go.”
“Eh?” Yixing looked puzzled. “If it’s alright with you, can we-“
“I have to go,” Junmyeon threw him an apologetic look before walking away hastily.
Yixing was left dumbfounded on his track, his eyes were fixed on Junmyeon’s backpack as the latter pranced away. He could feel element of fear was laced underneath his tone, but Yixing thought he must have been imagining it.
It was when he saw Junmyeon greeting a tall, handsome male that he knew it was real fear. Junmyeon handed him the cup of coffee-so the reason he didn’t drink it was because it wasn’t for him. Yixing noticed the tall male glowered to his direction before giving into Junmyeon’s attempt to drag him away.
The glare was probably a warning for him to stay away from Junmyeon.
But really, it just made Yixing wanted Junmyeon more.
***
“Hey, Yixing.”
“Hm?”
“We’re going to try the new restaurant downtown, do you want to come with us?”
Yixing was about to say no, but then he did a rethink of his answer and looked up from his notebook. “Sure. Is Junmyeon coming?”
Luhan didn’t seem amused. “...didn’t I tell you to-“
“-stay away from him, yeah,” Yixing finished the other male’s sentence with a solemn gaze. “But that doesn’t mean that we can’t hang out, right? I’m new here, I definitely need to make a lot of friends.”
Luhan pursed his lips disapprovingly and crossed his arms on his chest. “I don’t think Kris knows you yet...he wouldn’t let Junmyeon to be friends with someone he doesn’t even know.”
“Well then, introduce me to him,” Yixing grinned a little too bright to Luhan’s liking. “That way, he’ll get to know me.”
***
Junmyeon’s smile faltered when he saw Yixing walking into the restaurant.
Kris didn’t look pleased when Luhan awkwardly introduced him as the new exchange student to the rest of the group. Baekhyun waved a hand to the Chinese male, oblivious to the horror look marred on Junmyeon’s face. Kyungsoo only shot Junmyeon a questioning look but said nothing more.
The conversation between them was awkward. Luhan felt a bit guilty bringing Yixing along and tried to establish a decent conversation between the two of them. Sometimes Baekhyun would butt in, but it was clear that both Kris and Junmyeon made no attempt to join. Kyungsoo quickly left the place when his boyfriend finally came.
Junmyeon could feel that Kris wanted to shower him with questions, but they never came. It was obvious to the group that Yixing came for Junmyeon and it was a lie to say that Kris, of all people didn’t notice a thing about it. Junmyeon thought Yixing was a nice person to make friend with, but he couldn’t afford to lose Kris.
His relationship with Kris was everything.
The next day, Junmyeon managed to stop Yixing from entering his class. There didn’t seem to be signs of the protective boyfriend around them as Yixing boldy looked around.
“Yixing,” Junmyeon said hesitantly. “I think we need to talk.”
“About what?” Yixing asked casually, although he had a feeling what was coming.
“Yifan-“, Junmyeon pressed his lips into a thin line before gulping nervously. “Yifan...”
“Let me guess. Yifan doesn’t want you to hang out with me?”
Junmyeon winced because the words sounded so harsh. He bashfully looked down to his hands. “He didn’t say that... But, he means a lot to me and... And I don’t want him to feel that I’m not obeying him... I’m sorry.”
“Wait, if he doesn’t say anything then how come you feel like you’re not obeying him?” Yixing frowned. “It’s just strange, Junmyeon.”
“It’s-I just know, okay? He’s been my boyfriend for-“
“I don’t want to know the history. What I do want to know is, what do you feel about that?”
“H-huh?”
“Do you, or do you not want to be friends with me?”
Junmyeon looked taken aback at the question. He dragged a hand down his face in confusion and took a deep breath. “I...I do.”
“Then let’s be friends,” Yixing said stubbornly. “Junmyeon, open your eyes. He might be your boyfriend but he’s not your father. He can’t tell you what to do or what not to do anymore. You’re capable on making your own decision. He can’t tell you who to hang out with. It’s in your hands. Everything is in your hands.”
“B-but-“
“No buts, Junmyeon-ah. I’ve seen how he treated you. You become paranoid whenever he’s around. Is that what you’re even supposed to feel? You’re supposed to be in a loving relationship, not a cage.”
“I-I don’t want to lie to Yifan-“
“You just don’t tell him. It’s different than lying.”
“But...”
“Junmyeon-ah,” Yixing said sternly and Junmyeon fell silent. “Do you really want to be friends with me?”
He received a weak nod as an answer.
“Then let us be.”
***
Everything went smooth even though it was unplanned.
Yixing and Junmyeon secretly saw each other without anyone knowing. Junmyeon felt bad, of course, because he didn’t want to lie to Kris or even keeping a secret from him, but he wanted to be friends with Yixing.
Their meetings would be brief like between classes or in the library.
After a few days of getting to know each other, Junmyeon realized that it wasn’t so bad. It was definitely different than hanging out with Baekhyun or Kyungsoo. Everyone had their own uniqueness and Junmyeon found himself liking the atmosphere whenever he was with Yixing. The male was always able to light up his mood. His jokes were corny and Junmyeon sometimes would frown at his accent, trying to understand what he just said, but other than that, everything went great.
Yixing would always listen to him and slowly, but surely, Junmyeon rarely shared his problems with Kris anymore.
There were times when Junmyeon would cling even tighter to Kris and the taller male would just give him an unreadable look. It was a lie to say that Junmyeon didn’t feel guilty. Even though they were just friends, but Junmyeon felt it was almost the same as cheating-from the way he didn’t tell Kris the truth.
And then came Valentine.
Junmyeon had totally forgotten about the occasion. A few weeks ago, he would plan for something romantic for their Valentine’s date. But ever since Yixing took some of his times, he was distracted. Junmyeon realized it was already Valentine when Yixing suddenly gave him a large box of chocolates.
How could he forget about it?
And he didn’t prepare anything for Kris, either.
Junmyeon reluctantly accepted the chocolates because it was just rude to not to. He shoved the box into his bag, hoping that Kris wouldn’t take notice of the unusually big bulge caused by it. He tried to just keep them inside, but Junmyeon had gotten so hungry as he waited for his boyfriend. The only food he had was Yixing’s chocolate and he wasn’t sure if he was going to be able to hold his hunger any longer. So Junmyeon took a piece.
He daintily bit the piece of chocolate and chewed. He planned to just eat some of them and then shove the sweet things back into the bag, hidden from Kris’ eyesight. But the taste of milk chocolate melted in his mouth felt like heaven and it made Junmyeon greedily ate more.
When Kris finally showed up, the tall male had a kind smile across his face. Had Junmyeon acted casually, Kris would probably never notice. But the way Junmyeon’s shoulders tensed and he turned slightly pale at his appearance, Kris knew something was wrong.
He had a feeling he knew why.
“Who’s it from?”
Junmyeon deadpanned. He could lie, but he didn’t want to. Instead the pretty male could only lower his gaze to his boyfriend’s shoes. “Yi-Yifan...”
“Don’t even think of lying. Who’s it from, Junmyeon-ah?”
Junmyeon’s lips shivered slightly as he answered.
Moments later, Kris slammed the box of chocolates harshly on the table in front of Yixing, causing the box to be slightly ripped from the impact. Both Yixing and Baekhyun-who were just talking in the canteen-looked utterly shock at the sudden gesture. Yixing glared at Kris in dislike, but he failed to see that Baekhyun blanched in fear beside him.
Kris was angry.
Kris was never the one to get angry. Sure, he did get jealous and protective of Junmyeon all the time, but never angry. If he did, it must be a hell of a mistake. Baekhyun looked at Yixing in disbelief.
Yixing’s eyes dropped to the box of chocolates he had just given Junmyeon earlier this morning. He could see Junmyeon standing not too far behind Kris with his hands covering his mouth. The male had porcelain white skin, but he looked even paler at the moment.
“Zhang Yixing,” Kris said between his gritted teeth.
Yixing narrowed his eyes.
“Stay the fuck away from my boyfriend,” Kris said dangerously.
Instead of fear, Yixing felt himself growing with anger. He stood up abruptly, causing his chair to fall behind and earned few pairs of eyes turning to him. “He’s not your pet, Wu Yifan,” he hissed in Chinese.
Kris was about to retort and clearly would have gotten himself into a fight if it wasn’t for Junmyeon who pulled him by the arms.
“Yifan, let’s just go-“, Junmyeon begged desperately and he looked like he was going to cry any minute.
Kris let himself be dragged away by Junmyeon, but his dark eyes never left Yixing.
Yixing bravely stared back as if to challenge him.
“Holy shit,” Baekhyun whispered. “You’ve just ruined a perfectly good relationship.”
***
Junmyeon shut his eyes when he felt Kris’ big hands wiped the chocolate off of his lips almost roughly. He was sure the chocolate had no trace anymore but Kris just had to make sure. His lips were already dried and Kris’ fingers were starting to hurt him.
As if it was not enough, he was soon pinned against the wall of an empty class. Junmyeon had nowhere to run because Kris’ hands were at his sides. He stared at his boyfriend in fear.
“How long?”
Junmyeon’s heartbeat quickened at how scary his boyfriend’s tone was. “It’s...”
“I asked you how long!!!”
“A-a week,” Junmyeon cried panickly.
“A week? A whole freaking week?” Kris gave Junmyeon a judging look. “And you didn’t tell me? Why, Junmyeon? Why did you lie to me??”
“I-I didn’t-“, Junmyeon cried weakly and realized it was too late to turn back. “Because I knew things would turn out this way if I tell you...”
Kris frowned. “What?”
“Yifan...why can’t I make friends? I want to have friends...why can’t I?”
“You have friends, Junmyeon. You have Baekhyun and the others.”
Junmyeon chuckled bitterly. “And why can’t Yixing be a part of it too?”
Kris slammed his fists angrily against the wall and Junmyeon gasped weakly. “Junmyeon. I would never allow you to be friends with someone who’s clearly in love with you.”
“But he-“ Junmyeon’s eyes widened as his mind tried to register the words. “Yixing’s...in love with...me?”
Kris groaned in frustration and facepalmed. “See? You don’t even have a clue about it. Yixing’s madly in love with you, Junmyeon-ah. Now tell me, how can I let you be friends with him knowing that he has these feelings for you?”
“B-but he doesn’t-“
“Why do you think he’s been showering you with all those praises and compliments?”
“Yifan-“
“Why do you think he gave you those chocolates?”
“Stop it!!” Junmyeon cried loudly and he began to hyperventilate. “You don’t even know if it’s true, Yifan! Why are you being like this? You’re always like this, telling me what to do... You know what? For once, I...I think Yixing is right... You...you have no right to tell me who should I...”, he trailed off but Kris already caught what he meant even though his sentence was unfinished.
“Oh,” Kris said offhandedly and took a step back. “So this is what it’s all about. It’s the reason you’ve been lying to me.”
Junmyeon immediately regretted saying it. “Yifan, no, I’m sorry-“
“So you prefer to listen to Yixing instead of me, your boyfriend. How ironic.”
“Yifan, please don’t,” Junmyeon whimpered.
“Maybe we should,” Kris said pointedly. “Let’s take a break from all of this. You can be friends with anyone you like, and I can be friends with anyone I like, too. Maybe it’s better this way. Maybe you’ll be happier this way.”
“That’s not what I meant-“
“Goodbye, Junmyeon.”
The door was slammed with a loud sound and Junmyeon could hear Kris’ footsteps echoing in the hallway, away from him.
Junmyeon fell to his knees as he couldn’t hold back the tears anymore. He sobbed painfully as a he felt a huge part of himself withered away.
A huge part disguised in a human form called Yifan.
***
Junmyeon felt lost without Kris.
Luhan tried to cheer him up but Junmyeon wasn’t able to stop crying between classes. The older male gave Yixing a cold look but said nothing to him because right then, Junmyeon needed him more than anything. Baekhyun and Kyungsoo were also there for him if he ever needed someone to talk to, but Junmyeon subtly pushed them away because he didn’t think anyone would understand what he felt.
The news of them breaking up spreaded wildly like a fire.
Junmyeon was clearly the brokenhearted one because he was isolating himself more and more. Meanwhile, Kris started to shine bright and started making more friends. It was no wonder because the blond haired male had been popular since he first stepped his feet into the university. He began to change after dating Junmyeon and the reason why he had been limiting himself was to protect Junmyeon’s feelings. All this time, Junmyeon failed to take notice of the way Kris had treated him. There was definitely something more that lie beneath those cold, grumpy masks. Everything Kris did was for the sake of their relationship.
It hurt seeing Kris interacted with a lot of people.
Some of them only respected Kris greatly as their seonbae, but the ones who had deep feelings for him-that was the problem. Junmyeon found himself growing in jealousy and felt insecure whenever he spotted Kris with girls he didn’t recognize or just even with his classmates.
Yixing didn’t understand why Junmyeon had become like this after separating with Kris.
For some people, like Yixing, it was wrong. The kind of relationship (that Junmyeon and Kris used to have) prevented someone to be free, to act on their own free will. But for Junmyeon, it wasn’t entirely wrong either. Junmyeon liked being treated that way because he knew Kris only wanted to protect him. He never knew it was this painful to watch someone you love laughing happily with someone you didn’t know. This must be what Kris felt back then...
Yixing recalled Baekhyun’s words of him ruining a perfectly good relationship. He wanted to scream, which part of the relationship was perfectly good? But as he saw Junmyeon wordlessly grew weaker without Kris by his side, Yixing forced himself to understand even though he didn’t want to.
Maybe it wasn’t about what was right or what was wrong anymore.
Maybe it was just about two people being content with each other.
Maybe it was Kris and Junmyeon’s style.
“Junmyeon-ah.”
Junmyeon looked at Yixing and gave him a strained smile. The smile didn’t reach his eyes and Yixing somehow hated himself for being the cause of it. “Yes...?”
“If you were with me,” Yixing leaned closer and put a hand on Junmyeon’s shoulder. “I would let you do anything you want.”
Junmyeon’s eyes were filled with confusion. “If I were with you?”
Yixing held his breath. “I...I like you, Junmyeon-ah.”
Junmyeon was stunned. He could only blink his eyes in surprise as a surprised look descended upon his face. Kris was right. So Yixing did like him. How could he not see that? Junmyeon was too wrapped up in the thought of making new friends that he became too blind to see... The pretty male gasped as he buried his face into his hands.
Of course Yifan would know. He’s your boyfriend, remember?
Regret grew in him because Kris was right. He had obviously listened to Yixing instead of his own boyfriend.
“I don’t expect you to answer so soon...”
“I...”
Yixing waited patiently with a sigh. He knew what the answer would be, regardless now or later. He had a feeling that even in a hundred years, he would never win from the Chinese-Canadian male. Junmyeon looked so breathtakingly beautiful and determined when he turned to Yixing to speak.
“I can’t, Yixing. I’m sorry. This heart doesn’t beat for anyone else...”
Yixing’s smile was so sincere and understanding that Junmyeon let himself be pulled into a comforting embrace by the other male as he burst out crying.
Because Junmyeon’s heart only beat for Kris.
***
Days passed by in a breeze and Junmyeon knew if this went on, he would break.
He wouldn’t be able to function properly without Kris.
Junmyeon had to have him back.
The bell had just rung and the hallway was soon flooded with students eager to go home. Junmyeon waited patiently for Kris with his back against the wall. His feeling was a mixture of nervousness and fear and he couldn’t calm down. What would he say to Kris?
A minute later, he heard his boyfriend’s voice echoed throughout the hall and he bit his lip longingly. Junmyeon wasn’t sure if addressing Kris as his boyfriend was still right because they were obviously taking a break... But one thing he was sure was that he missed the voice. He missed the way the handsome male said his name. He missed the way Kris wrapped his arms around him. Gosh, he missed everything about the male...
Kris was still standing by the door with two girls in front of him. Junmyeon recognized them as his friends and even though he knew that they didn’t like Kris in such way, it still bothered Junmyeon to see his boyfriend talking to those girls. The subject was already over, what did they still need to talk about?
So this is what it feels like.
Junmyeon waited, but it didn’t seem like they would be done any minute. He stalked forward to their direction in a pace. He planned on just interrupting the conversation and dragged Kris away from them, but then another thought crossed his mind. Kris was still talking when he noticed Junmyeon’s presence, his eyebrows raised slightly. The pretty male leaned closer to Kris and tugged the latter’s collar down to meet their lips. It was subtle yet bold at the same time, as if to show that Kris belonged to him and him only.
The girls gaped at the sudden kiss scene in front of them. They exchanged glances before slowly walking away with their faces flushing.
Junmyeon didn’t care if they decided to stay and watch them making out. All he cared about was Kris.
They finally pulled away for oxygen, but Junmyeon didn’t get very far because Kris grabbed his arm possessively. None of them said a word and Kris closed his eyes as a sign that he wanted to capture the younger male’s lips once again. Junmyeon let him and sighed into the kiss. His heart stuttered badly at the warmth flooding his entire body and curled his fingers tightly into Kris’ big ones.
“I’m jealous,” Junmyeon said breathlessly between kisses. "You look so happy with those girls.”
“Not as happy as I am with you.”
The straight answer brought a smile to Junmyeon’s face. He smiled widely into the kiss and Kris had to bit his lips softly to stop him from smiling because it interfered their tongues to meet. They stopped kissing when they heard someone clearing his throat loudly. Both of them turned their heads to Luhan at the end of the hallway who only shook his head in amusement. Luhan gave them thumbs up before laughing and walking away.
Junmyeon giggled shyly and rested his head on Kris’ chest. He felt Kris snaking his strong arms around his waist to pull him even closer, if that was possible because their bodies were already pressed tightly against each other.
“So...I got kissed just because you were jealous?”
“Uh-huh.”
“You know that I’m not just gonna kiss you if I’m jealous, right?”
“I know.”
“You know I’m gonna keep on limiting you on making new friends.”
“Do that, please.”
“You know that I’m madly in love with you.”
“I know.”
Junmyeon looked up to stare at Kris fondly before softly pressing his lips against the taller male’s jaw. He knew what Kris meant. If they were about to start again, things wouldn’t be very different from the last time. But he didn’t mind. Junmyeon knew it was the risk he was willing to take if he wanted to be with the Chinese-Canadian male.
But this time, he wouldn’t doubt Kris ever again.
Junmyeon gently stroke Kris’ lips with a thumb before tiptoeing to kiss him again.
“And you know that I can’t live without you, Yifan...”
End.
Author: FloweryMisha
Pairing: KrisHo, slight!SuLay
Warning: BoyxBoy love. Enough said.
Summary: For Junmyeon, being apart from Kris only made it worse.
Author's Note: Please, no translations allowed!
Kris easily got jealous toward anyone who approached Junmyeon.
It was probably the reason why Junmyeon became slightly different whenever Kris was around.
The pretty male would change drastically like he had some kind of double personalities. His warm, angelic smiles would turn into nonchalant, simple smiles whenever his boyfriend was near. Junmyeon’s beautiful eyesmile would only appear in any response given to Kris. He would stare and cling tightly to his boyfriend like no one else mattered in the world.
His friends noticed this. Hell, everyone in the university noticed this.
But no one ever protested, not even their close friends. With just a single glance at the couple, all of them knew that what they had was real. Kris’ meaningful glances toward the pretty male proved everything. And the way Junmyeon leaned to the taller male for protection showed the world that the feeling was mutual.
It was actually easy for Junmyeon to just dump Kris because there were a lot of guys lining up for his love, willing to be Kris’ replacement. But Junmyeon couldn’t, no, he wouldn’t ditch Kris for anyone. Maybe it was because of Kris’ godly handsome face. Or maybe, it was Kris’ famous expression of a grumpy bitchface that got Junmyeon fell.
Whatever it was, it had made Junmyeon fallen deeper-too deep, in fact-for the blond haired male.
And strangely, he didn’t mind.
***
There was always a test to every relationship.
And maybe, Yixing was the one for Junmyeon and Kris’ relationship.
The Chinese male had just arrived in Korea. He was the new exchange student who would be learning for a year in their university. The first time Yixing spotted Junmyeon was when he was given directions by Luhan and he passed them by. The pretty male waved slightly at Luhan with a beautiful smile and Yixing found himself craning his neck to his direction-even long after he was gone.
It was his first day in Korea and he already wanted to know someone’s name so badly.
“Who is he?”
Luhan gave him a look. “Yixing...no, anyone but that. You can’t mess with Kim Junmyeon.”
Kim Junmyeon.
“Why?” Yixing tilted his head to a side with a frown. “Don’t tell me. Is his father a mafia or something?”
Luhan only batted his eyelashes in response because clearly Yixing had watched too many movies. “No...because Junmyeon is Yifan’s boyfriend and Yifan is my cousin and I’m gonna skin you alive if you do.”
“Oh,” Yixing breathed. “So he’s somewhat considered as your family.”
“Even if he’s not, you just can’t, okay? They’ve been together for a couple of months now and they’re happy and you shouldn’t disturb a happy couple,” Luhan stated. “It’s just wrong.”
Yixing looked thoughtful for a moment. ”We can’t even be friends?”
Luhan almost threw his hands in frustration to the air and sighed in resignation. It seemed useless to explain, although he didn’t think Yixing would be the stubborn type. Luhan glanced at his wristwatch and motioned the Chinese male to follow him-he still had a lot to show him before dinner. As Yixing followed closely behind him, Luhan cleared his throat before commenting to his last question.
“That depends on Yifan.”
***
Junmyeon’s class would begin in about an hour and he had arrived way too early. The male propped his arms on the table for support with his eyes directed to his untouched cup of coffee. The coffee was actually for Kris. His boyfriend had been texting him that he was incredibly sleepy and without thinking, Junmyeon bought him his favorite coffee in the usual place.
Kris was still on his way to the university and Junmyeon tried killing some time by reading a book. He flipped the pages absentmindedly, trying to digest the printed words on the textbook and all of a sudden, a soft voice sent his thoughts flying.
“Hi.”
Junmyeon slowly shifted his gaze from the book to see a handsome male standing before him. He frowned slightly as he tried to remember where he had seen the male before... A smile was etched onto Junmyeon’s beautiful face as he recalled seeing him the other day with Luhan.
“Hi... Aren’t you the one with Luhan the other day?”
“I am. Wow, you have a good memory,” Yixing complimented. He broke into a smile and Junmyeon saw a cute dimple forming on the other male’s cheek. The male politely offered his hand. “Zhang Yixing.”
Junmyeon gazed at the offered hand for a moment before reluctantly taking it. “Kim Junmyeon.”
“Nice to meet you, Junmyeon.”
“N-nice to meet you too, Yixing...”
Silence followed the conversation soon after. Junmyeon didn’t seem like he would ask Yixing to join him, but even if he did, Yixing wasn’t really in the mood for sitting and chitchatting.
“Are you busy at the moment?”
“Eh?”
“Would you mind showing me around?” Yixing scratched his head sheepishly. “That is, if you don’t mind, of course.”
“Now?” Junmyeon looked uncertain.
“If you have anything else to do, it’s okay. Maybe next time.”
Junmyeon avoided Yixing’s gaze nervously. “It’s just that... I have a class in less than an hour.”
Yixing chuckled. “It would be enough. I’m not asking you for a whole day, am I?”
Junmyeon didn’t look comfortable with the idea. He kept on throwing glances at the clock on his phone screen and seemed to be in thought. Finally, the male gave Yixing a nod. Junmyeon shouldered his backpack, grabbing the cup of his takeaway coffee and led Yixing the way.
They walked side by side to various places on the campus (“Definitely the places that you’ll be visiting a lot”, Junmyeon smiled), from the classes to places such as the library. Despite his serious face, it turned out that Yixing had a good sense of humour. He was funny and Junmyeon found himself erupting into fits of laughter a few times. Yixing also noticed the cup of coffee that Junmyeon had in his hand. The pretty male kept on holding it but made no move to drink it.
It had been a while since Junmyeon laughed whole heartedly like this. Usually with Kris, they would be wrapped in a comfortable silence, polite giggles and warm, linking hands. But it was not that he hated it. Maybe it was just the way they interacted with each other.
The thought of Kris made Junmyeon smiled. He just loved everything about Kris and the slight image of his boyfriend never failed to amuse him.
Their journey ended up sooner than Yixing had expected, but Junmyeon didn’t seem like he would be able to spare any more minute for him. Yixing understood and buried his disappointment, the pretty male did say he had a class after. The male tried to ask for Junmyeon’s number without sounding weird (because they had just met each other) but he swallowed it all down when Junmyeon suddenly stopped walking.
“Yi-Yixing, I have to go.”
“Eh?” Yixing looked puzzled. “If it’s alright with you, can we-“
“I have to go,” Junmyeon threw him an apologetic look before walking away hastily.
Yixing was left dumbfounded on his track, his eyes were fixed on Junmyeon’s backpack as the latter pranced away. He could feel element of fear was laced underneath his tone, but Yixing thought he must have been imagining it.
It was when he saw Junmyeon greeting a tall, handsome male that he knew it was real fear. Junmyeon handed him the cup of coffee-so the reason he didn’t drink it was because it wasn’t for him. Yixing noticed the tall male glowered to his direction before giving into Junmyeon’s attempt to drag him away.
The glare was probably a warning for him to stay away from Junmyeon.
But really, it just made Yixing wanted Junmyeon more.
***
“Hey, Yixing.”
“Hm?”
“We’re going to try the new restaurant downtown, do you want to come with us?”
Yixing was about to say no, but then he did a rethink of his answer and looked up from his notebook. “Sure. Is Junmyeon coming?”
Luhan didn’t seem amused. “...didn’t I tell you to-“
“-stay away from him, yeah,” Yixing finished the other male’s sentence with a solemn gaze. “But that doesn’t mean that we can’t hang out, right? I’m new here, I definitely need to make a lot of friends.”
Luhan pursed his lips disapprovingly and crossed his arms on his chest. “I don’t think Kris knows you yet...he wouldn’t let Junmyeon to be friends with someone he doesn’t even know.”
“Well then, introduce me to him,” Yixing grinned a little too bright to Luhan’s liking. “That way, he’ll get to know me.”
***
Junmyeon’s smile faltered when he saw Yixing walking into the restaurant.
Kris didn’t look pleased when Luhan awkwardly introduced him as the new exchange student to the rest of the group. Baekhyun waved a hand to the Chinese male, oblivious to the horror look marred on Junmyeon’s face. Kyungsoo only shot Junmyeon a questioning look but said nothing more.
The conversation between them was awkward. Luhan felt a bit guilty bringing Yixing along and tried to establish a decent conversation between the two of them. Sometimes Baekhyun would butt in, but it was clear that both Kris and Junmyeon made no attempt to join. Kyungsoo quickly left the place when his boyfriend finally came.
Junmyeon could feel that Kris wanted to shower him with questions, but they never came. It was obvious to the group that Yixing came for Junmyeon and it was a lie to say that Kris, of all people didn’t notice a thing about it. Junmyeon thought Yixing was a nice person to make friend with, but he couldn’t afford to lose Kris.
His relationship with Kris was everything.
The next day, Junmyeon managed to stop Yixing from entering his class. There didn’t seem to be signs of the protective boyfriend around them as Yixing boldy looked around.
“Yixing,” Junmyeon said hesitantly. “I think we need to talk.”
“About what?” Yixing asked casually, although he had a feeling what was coming.
“Yifan-“, Junmyeon pressed his lips into a thin line before gulping nervously. “Yifan...”
“Let me guess. Yifan doesn’t want you to hang out with me?”
Junmyeon winced because the words sounded so harsh. He bashfully looked down to his hands. “He didn’t say that... But, he means a lot to me and... And I don’t want him to feel that I’m not obeying him... I’m sorry.”
“Wait, if he doesn’t say anything then how come you feel like you’re not obeying him?” Yixing frowned. “It’s just strange, Junmyeon.”
“It’s-I just know, okay? He’s been my boyfriend for-“
“I don’t want to know the history. What I do want to know is, what do you feel about that?”
“H-huh?”
“Do you, or do you not want to be friends with me?”
Junmyeon looked taken aback at the question. He dragged a hand down his face in confusion and took a deep breath. “I...I do.”
“Then let’s be friends,” Yixing said stubbornly. “Junmyeon, open your eyes. He might be your boyfriend but he’s not your father. He can’t tell you what to do or what not to do anymore. You’re capable on making your own decision. He can’t tell you who to hang out with. It’s in your hands. Everything is in your hands.”
“B-but-“
“No buts, Junmyeon-ah. I’ve seen how he treated you. You become paranoid whenever he’s around. Is that what you’re even supposed to feel? You’re supposed to be in a loving relationship, not a cage.”
“I-I don’t want to lie to Yifan-“
“You just don’t tell him. It’s different than lying.”
“But...”
“Junmyeon-ah,” Yixing said sternly and Junmyeon fell silent. “Do you really want to be friends with me?”
He received a weak nod as an answer.
“Then let us be.”
***
Everything went smooth even though it was unplanned.
Yixing and Junmyeon secretly saw each other without anyone knowing. Junmyeon felt bad, of course, because he didn’t want to lie to Kris or even keeping a secret from him, but he wanted to be friends with Yixing.
Their meetings would be brief like between classes or in the library.
After a few days of getting to know each other, Junmyeon realized that it wasn’t so bad. It was definitely different than hanging out with Baekhyun or Kyungsoo. Everyone had their own uniqueness and Junmyeon found himself liking the atmosphere whenever he was with Yixing. The male was always able to light up his mood. His jokes were corny and Junmyeon sometimes would frown at his accent, trying to understand what he just said, but other than that, everything went great.
Yixing would always listen to him and slowly, but surely, Junmyeon rarely shared his problems with Kris anymore.
There were times when Junmyeon would cling even tighter to Kris and the taller male would just give him an unreadable look. It was a lie to say that Junmyeon didn’t feel guilty. Even though they were just friends, but Junmyeon felt it was almost the same as cheating-from the way he didn’t tell Kris the truth.
And then came Valentine.
Junmyeon had totally forgotten about the occasion. A few weeks ago, he would plan for something romantic for their Valentine’s date. But ever since Yixing took some of his times, he was distracted. Junmyeon realized it was already Valentine when Yixing suddenly gave him a large box of chocolates.
How could he forget about it?
And he didn’t prepare anything for Kris, either.
Junmyeon reluctantly accepted the chocolates because it was just rude to not to. He shoved the box into his bag, hoping that Kris wouldn’t take notice of the unusually big bulge caused by it. He tried to just keep them inside, but Junmyeon had gotten so hungry as he waited for his boyfriend. The only food he had was Yixing’s chocolate and he wasn’t sure if he was going to be able to hold his hunger any longer. So Junmyeon took a piece.
He daintily bit the piece of chocolate and chewed. He planned to just eat some of them and then shove the sweet things back into the bag, hidden from Kris’ eyesight. But the taste of milk chocolate melted in his mouth felt like heaven and it made Junmyeon greedily ate more.
When Kris finally showed up, the tall male had a kind smile across his face. Had Junmyeon acted casually, Kris would probably never notice. But the way Junmyeon’s shoulders tensed and he turned slightly pale at his appearance, Kris knew something was wrong.
He had a feeling he knew why.
“Who’s it from?”
Junmyeon deadpanned. He could lie, but he didn’t want to. Instead the pretty male could only lower his gaze to his boyfriend’s shoes. “Yi-Yifan...”
“Don’t even think of lying. Who’s it from, Junmyeon-ah?”
Junmyeon’s lips shivered slightly as he answered.
Moments later, Kris slammed the box of chocolates harshly on the table in front of Yixing, causing the box to be slightly ripped from the impact. Both Yixing and Baekhyun-who were just talking in the canteen-looked utterly shock at the sudden gesture. Yixing glared at Kris in dislike, but he failed to see that Baekhyun blanched in fear beside him.
Kris was angry.
Kris was never the one to get angry. Sure, he did get jealous and protective of Junmyeon all the time, but never angry. If he did, it must be a hell of a mistake. Baekhyun looked at Yixing in disbelief.
Yixing’s eyes dropped to the box of chocolates he had just given Junmyeon earlier this morning. He could see Junmyeon standing not too far behind Kris with his hands covering his mouth. The male had porcelain white skin, but he looked even paler at the moment.
“Zhang Yixing,” Kris said between his gritted teeth.
Yixing narrowed his eyes.
“Stay the fuck away from my boyfriend,” Kris said dangerously.
Instead of fear, Yixing felt himself growing with anger. He stood up abruptly, causing his chair to fall behind and earned few pairs of eyes turning to him. “He’s not your pet, Wu Yifan,” he hissed in Chinese.
Kris was about to retort and clearly would have gotten himself into a fight if it wasn’t for Junmyeon who pulled him by the arms.
“Yifan, let’s just go-“, Junmyeon begged desperately and he looked like he was going to cry any minute.
Kris let himself be dragged away by Junmyeon, but his dark eyes never left Yixing.
Yixing bravely stared back as if to challenge him.
“Holy shit,” Baekhyun whispered. “You’ve just ruined a perfectly good relationship.”
***
Junmyeon shut his eyes when he felt Kris’ big hands wiped the chocolate off of his lips almost roughly. He was sure the chocolate had no trace anymore but Kris just had to make sure. His lips were already dried and Kris’ fingers were starting to hurt him.
As if it was not enough, he was soon pinned against the wall of an empty class. Junmyeon had nowhere to run because Kris’ hands were at his sides. He stared at his boyfriend in fear.
“How long?”
Junmyeon’s heartbeat quickened at how scary his boyfriend’s tone was. “It’s...”
“I asked you how long!!!”
“A-a week,” Junmyeon cried panickly.
“A week? A whole freaking week?” Kris gave Junmyeon a judging look. “And you didn’t tell me? Why, Junmyeon? Why did you lie to me??”
“I-I didn’t-“, Junmyeon cried weakly and realized it was too late to turn back. “Because I knew things would turn out this way if I tell you...”
Kris frowned. “What?”
“Yifan...why can’t I make friends? I want to have friends...why can’t I?”
“You have friends, Junmyeon. You have Baekhyun and the others.”
Junmyeon chuckled bitterly. “And why can’t Yixing be a part of it too?”
Kris slammed his fists angrily against the wall and Junmyeon gasped weakly. “Junmyeon. I would never allow you to be friends with someone who’s clearly in love with you.”
“But he-“ Junmyeon’s eyes widened as his mind tried to register the words. “Yixing’s...in love with...me?”
Kris groaned in frustration and facepalmed. “See? You don’t even have a clue about it. Yixing’s madly in love with you, Junmyeon-ah. Now tell me, how can I let you be friends with him knowing that he has these feelings for you?”
“B-but he doesn’t-“
“Why do you think he’s been showering you with all those praises and compliments?”
“Yifan-“
“Why do you think he gave you those chocolates?”
“Stop it!!” Junmyeon cried loudly and he began to hyperventilate. “You don’t even know if it’s true, Yifan! Why are you being like this? You’re always like this, telling me what to do... You know what? For once, I...I think Yixing is right... You...you have no right to tell me who should I...”, he trailed off but Kris already caught what he meant even though his sentence was unfinished.
“Oh,” Kris said offhandedly and took a step back. “So this is what it’s all about. It’s the reason you’ve been lying to me.”
Junmyeon immediately regretted saying it. “Yifan, no, I’m sorry-“
“So you prefer to listen to Yixing instead of me, your boyfriend. How ironic.”
“Yifan, please don’t,” Junmyeon whimpered.
“Maybe we should,” Kris said pointedly. “Let’s take a break from all of this. You can be friends with anyone you like, and I can be friends with anyone I like, too. Maybe it’s better this way. Maybe you’ll be happier this way.”
“That’s not what I meant-“
“Goodbye, Junmyeon.”
The door was slammed with a loud sound and Junmyeon could hear Kris’ footsteps echoing in the hallway, away from him.
Junmyeon fell to his knees as he couldn’t hold back the tears anymore. He sobbed painfully as a he felt a huge part of himself withered away.
A huge part disguised in a human form called Yifan.
***
Junmyeon felt lost without Kris.
Luhan tried to cheer him up but Junmyeon wasn’t able to stop crying between classes. The older male gave Yixing a cold look but said nothing to him because right then, Junmyeon needed him more than anything. Baekhyun and Kyungsoo were also there for him if he ever needed someone to talk to, but Junmyeon subtly pushed them away because he didn’t think anyone would understand what he felt.
The news of them breaking up spreaded wildly like a fire.
Junmyeon was clearly the brokenhearted one because he was isolating himself more and more. Meanwhile, Kris started to shine bright and started making more friends. It was no wonder because the blond haired male had been popular since he first stepped his feet into the university. He began to change after dating Junmyeon and the reason why he had been limiting himself was to protect Junmyeon’s feelings. All this time, Junmyeon failed to take notice of the way Kris had treated him. There was definitely something more that lie beneath those cold, grumpy masks. Everything Kris did was for the sake of their relationship.
It hurt seeing Kris interacted with a lot of people.
Some of them only respected Kris greatly as their seonbae, but the ones who had deep feelings for him-that was the problem. Junmyeon found himself growing in jealousy and felt insecure whenever he spotted Kris with girls he didn’t recognize or just even with his classmates.
Yixing didn’t understand why Junmyeon had become like this after separating with Kris.
For some people, like Yixing, it was wrong. The kind of relationship (that Junmyeon and Kris used to have) prevented someone to be free, to act on their own free will. But for Junmyeon, it wasn’t entirely wrong either. Junmyeon liked being treated that way because he knew Kris only wanted to protect him. He never knew it was this painful to watch someone you love laughing happily with someone you didn’t know. This must be what Kris felt back then...
Yixing recalled Baekhyun’s words of him ruining a perfectly good relationship. He wanted to scream, which part of the relationship was perfectly good? But as he saw Junmyeon wordlessly grew weaker without Kris by his side, Yixing forced himself to understand even though he didn’t want to.
Maybe it wasn’t about what was right or what was wrong anymore.
Maybe it was just about two people being content with each other.
Maybe it was Kris and Junmyeon’s style.
“Junmyeon-ah.”
Junmyeon looked at Yixing and gave him a strained smile. The smile didn’t reach his eyes and Yixing somehow hated himself for being the cause of it. “Yes...?”
“If you were with me,” Yixing leaned closer and put a hand on Junmyeon’s shoulder. “I would let you do anything you want.”
Junmyeon’s eyes were filled with confusion. “If I were with you?”
Yixing held his breath. “I...I like you, Junmyeon-ah.”
Junmyeon was stunned. He could only blink his eyes in surprise as a surprised look descended upon his face. Kris was right. So Yixing did like him. How could he not see that? Junmyeon was too wrapped up in the thought of making new friends that he became too blind to see... The pretty male gasped as he buried his face into his hands.
Of course Yifan would know. He’s your boyfriend, remember?
Regret grew in him because Kris was right. He had obviously listened to Yixing instead of his own boyfriend.
“I don’t expect you to answer so soon...”
“I...”
Yixing waited patiently with a sigh. He knew what the answer would be, regardless now or later. He had a feeling that even in a hundred years, he would never win from the Chinese-Canadian male. Junmyeon looked so breathtakingly beautiful and determined when he turned to Yixing to speak.
“I can’t, Yixing. I’m sorry. This heart doesn’t beat for anyone else...”
Yixing’s smile was so sincere and understanding that Junmyeon let himself be pulled into a comforting embrace by the other male as he burst out crying.
Because Junmyeon’s heart only beat for Kris.
***
Days passed by in a breeze and Junmyeon knew if this went on, he would break.
He wouldn’t be able to function properly without Kris.
Junmyeon had to have him back.
The bell had just rung and the hallway was soon flooded with students eager to go home. Junmyeon waited patiently for Kris with his back against the wall. His feeling was a mixture of nervousness and fear and he couldn’t calm down. What would he say to Kris?
A minute later, he heard his boyfriend’s voice echoed throughout the hall and he bit his lip longingly. Junmyeon wasn’t sure if addressing Kris as his boyfriend was still right because they were obviously taking a break... But one thing he was sure was that he missed the voice. He missed the way the handsome male said his name. He missed the way Kris wrapped his arms around him. Gosh, he missed everything about the male...
Kris was still standing by the door with two girls in front of him. Junmyeon recognized them as his friends and even though he knew that they didn’t like Kris in such way, it still bothered Junmyeon to see his boyfriend talking to those girls. The subject was already over, what did they still need to talk about?
So this is what it feels like.
Junmyeon waited, but it didn’t seem like they would be done any minute. He stalked forward to their direction in a pace. He planned on just interrupting the conversation and dragged Kris away from them, but then another thought crossed his mind. Kris was still talking when he noticed Junmyeon’s presence, his eyebrows raised slightly. The pretty male leaned closer to Kris and tugged the latter’s collar down to meet their lips. It was subtle yet bold at the same time, as if to show that Kris belonged to him and him only.
The girls gaped at the sudden kiss scene in front of them. They exchanged glances before slowly walking away with their faces flushing.
Junmyeon didn’t care if they decided to stay and watch them making out. All he cared about was Kris.
They finally pulled away for oxygen, but Junmyeon didn’t get very far because Kris grabbed his arm possessively. None of them said a word and Kris closed his eyes as a sign that he wanted to capture the younger male’s lips once again. Junmyeon let him and sighed into the kiss. His heart stuttered badly at the warmth flooding his entire body and curled his fingers tightly into Kris’ big ones.
“I’m jealous,” Junmyeon said breathlessly between kisses. "You look so happy with those girls.”
“Not as happy as I am with you.”
The straight answer brought a smile to Junmyeon’s face. He smiled widely into the kiss and Kris had to bit his lips softly to stop him from smiling because it interfered their tongues to meet. They stopped kissing when they heard someone clearing his throat loudly. Both of them turned their heads to Luhan at the end of the hallway who only shook his head in amusement. Luhan gave them thumbs up before laughing and walking away.
Junmyeon giggled shyly and rested his head on Kris’ chest. He felt Kris snaking his strong arms around his waist to pull him even closer, if that was possible because their bodies were already pressed tightly against each other.
“So...I got kissed just because you were jealous?”
“Uh-huh.”
“You know that I’m not just gonna kiss you if I’m jealous, right?”
“I know.”
“You know I’m gonna keep on limiting you on making new friends.”
“Do that, please.”
“You know that I’m madly in love with you.”
“I know.”
Junmyeon looked up to stare at Kris fondly before softly pressing his lips against the taller male’s jaw. He knew what Kris meant. If they were about to start again, things wouldn’t be very different from the last time. But he didn’t mind. Junmyeon knew it was the risk he was willing to take if he wanted to be with the Chinese-Canadian male.
But this time, he wouldn’t doubt Kris ever again.
Junmyeon gently stroke Kris’ lips with a thumb before tiptoeing to kiss him again.
“And you know that I can’t live without you, Yifan...”
End.