Ilhoon [1/1]
Title: Ilhoon [1/1]
Author: FloweryMisha
Pairing: KiWoon
Warning: BoyxBoy love. Enough said.
Summary: Ilhoon’s innocent eyes got Kikwang attached. Dongwoon’s, however, made him attached deeper.
Author's Note: Please, no translations allowed ;;
Their first encounter happened in the crowded train.
Ilhoon was placed in his arms, eyes wide as he looked around inquisitively. He probably wondered what the hell these people were doing, pressing against and squishing each other while he was comfortably protected in his uncle’s arms.
Dongwoon looked down at him and smiled.
Ilhoon noticed his gaze and beamed. He giggled happily to himself and leaned forward to put his head on Dongwoon’s chest while still eyeing the people around him curiously. Ilhoon stopped looking when he spotted someone. He batted his eyelashes in curiosity and his mouth dropped opened at the sight as if he had never seen such a pretty person before.
Dongwoon followed his line of sight and chuckled. He pinched the bridge of Ilhoon’s nose playfully. “Hey, stop staring. You’re not even two but damn Ilhoonie, you have good eyes. I suppose it’s from your father.”
It was like Ilhoon understood what he said and he crinkled his nose in response. His eyes were still in the same direction as before and when Dongwoon really took a good look at who Ilhoon had been staring at, he deadpanned.
The male was pretty. Like really, really pretty. Damn, even the term pretty was probably an understatement but Dongwoon couldn’t find the right word to express what he saw. He felt his mouth had gone dry at the sight and his heartbeat dramatically increased when the pretty male turned to look at him.
The male blinked and smiled in amusement at the stupid expressions (more like mesmerized) that were plastered on Dongwoon and Ilhoon’s faces. The male raised his brows at Ilhoon and the baby immediately bounced cheekily in Dongwoon’s arms like a fanboy. He had that adorable baby grin and the male chuckled.
When the train finally came to a stop, the male waved his hand briefly at Ilhoon as if to say goodbye and nodded at Dongwoon with a polite smile.
It was not Dongwoon’s station yet and he was still frozen by the blindingly cute smile from the pretty male earlier. When the male finally got off and Ilhoon muttering nonsense in disappointment, Dongwoon wondered why he didn’t just get off at the same station to find out his name-or preferably, his number.
“Da,” Ilhoon seemed to pout.
“Yes,” Dongwoon mumbled to himself. “Yes, I’m stupid.”
***
The second time they met, it was at the laundromat.
Dongwoon placed Ilhoon on the wooden bench and gave him a warning look. Ilhoon only stared at him innocently as if he understood. If he could talk, he would probably say “Yes, I will not move an inch.” Dongwoon then gave him a coke shaped pillow (Junhyung obviously had a strange taste) to play with as he dropped all of his clothes into the washing machine.
He measured how much detergent would he need and after convincing himself that it was enough, Dongwoon inserted the coins. He then pushed a button and the machine started running.
Dongwoon stretched out his arms and watched his clothes spinning around absentmindedly. He heard movement beside him and another machine started running but paid no attention.
“Da.”
Dongwoon lazily looked over his shoulder to Ilhoon to see what he was doing. Ilhoon dropped his pillow onto the floor on purpose and Dongwoon sighed. He was about to pick it up when another hand picked it up first and put it back onto Ilhoon’s lap.
“There.”
Dongwoon wanted to say thank you casually but it was stuck in his throat.
It was the pretty male in the train from the other day.
He was wearing a thick, round framed glasses and he looked like a nerd. Albeit, Dongwoon thought he was a hot nerd. Ilhoon seemed to notice this as well because his eyes widened in happiness and he giggled. Dongwoon wondered if the male would shoot him a weird look if he also giggled like a fanboy.
“Aww,” the male chuckled when Ilhoon handed him the pillow. “For me?”
Ilhoon stared in awe as the male accepted the pillow graciously and Dongwoon wondered how could a baby be such a fanboy.
“Um,” Dongwoon started, not wanting Ilhoon to get all of the attention. “Hi.”
The male turned to him-and God, Dongwoon thought he was really pretty. He smiled warmly and that megawatt smile of his almost burned Dongwoon’s eyes because it was too blinding. “Hi.”
“Um,” Dongwoon started again but then his machine had beeped. He mentally cursed for such bad timing and sighed as he decided to take care of his laundry first. A second later, the male’s clothes were also done as he pulled them out of the machine.
Dongwoon (desperately) tried to finish his first so that he would have a chance of striking a conversation but why did his clothes suddenly multiplied into a mountain of fabrics? Ilhoon made a sound and somewhere on the back of his mind he screamed yes, Ilhoon, yes, I’m trying! but couldn’t do anything. Dongwoon wanted to throw the clothes away in frustration.
Unfortunately, the male beat Dongwoon at folding his clothes. He heard the male saying goodbye at Ilhoon and he almost cracked his neck for turning it so fast.
The pretty male smiled and nodded at Dongwoon politely just like before.
As he left, Dongwoon buried his face into the newly washed clothes.
“Da...?”, Ilhoon looked confused.
“Yes,” Dongwoon mumbled. “Yes, I’m stupid.”
***
They said, a man was not a man if he didn’t try three times.
Dongwoon prayed for the third chance, if there was even one. He screwed up his second chance badly. He could just have casually introduced himself and asked for the pretty man’s name, where he worked and his marriage status (the last question would be the most important). Ilhoon seemed to sulk at him for screwing up and Dongwoon stared at the baby in disbelief.
What a baby.
Dongwoon went to the store he frequented with Ilhoon in the baby stroller. It was either Dongwoon was getting older or Ilhoon was growing up (duh, it was the second one of course). The baby had gained some weight in the past months and he felt tired carrying Ilhoon around in his arms. For some reasons, he had always met the pretty male whenever Ilhoon was with him so Dongwoon was more than happy when Hyunseung had asked him to babysit and buy a few things for dinner.
But it was just a wishful thinking, of course. The possibility of meeting the pretty male again was one in one million.
Dongwoon was searching for a specific brand of Ilhoon’s diapers when Ilhoon made a sound. He ignored it, the baby was probably munching his coke shaped pillow again. Dongwoon stared attentively at the packages he just took, making sure that they were the right size before stuffing them into the tray. He went blank as he realized he was going to have to push both Ilhoon and the cart at the same moment and facepalmed.
Ilhoon giggled and Dongwoon looked at him sideways in dismay. He didn’t realize someone was standing in front of them.
“Hello again.”
The pretty male waved at him and Dongwoon blinked.
For a moment, the taller of the two only stared, stared and stared until the other male’s smile faltered.
“Um, well...see you,” the male awkwardly said and Dongwoon could only nod dumbly in response.
He was about to walk away just like the previous times and Ilhoon seemed to realize this. He didn’t want the male to leave so bad and started sobbing. His sobs slowly turned into a loud cry and it got the pretty male to stop walking.
“Ilhoonie,” Dongwoon said softly and detached him from the stroller into his arms. Ilhoon wouldn’t stop crying. His crying got louder and tears streamed down on his cheeks. Dongwoon sighed as he turned to the male. “I’m sorry, can you hold him for a moment? I have his milk somewhere...”
“Sure,” the male beamed and happily accepted Ilhoon. “Ilhoonie, isn’t it?”
“Yeah.”
Ilhoon immediately stopped crying and leaned forward to the male’s shoulder, hugging him.
Dongwoon shot the baby a betrayed look and continued to search through his bag in irritation. When he finally got the bottle of milk Hyunseung had prepared him, Ilhoon the traitor shoved the bottle back into Dongwoon’s face as he was clearly happy that he got what he wanted-the pretty male.
“Fanboy,” Dongwoon rolled his eyes.
“Eh?”
“No,” he quickly said. “No. It’s Ilhoon. I think he likes you.”
“Oh,” the male chuckled. “Well, I like you too, Ilhoonie.”
Dongwoon wondered what would it feel like to be Ilhoon for the day. What a lucky bast-um, baby.
“He doesn’t seem to want to drink,” the other man said with a confused look. “How about checking his diaper? Maybe he peed or something?”
“Oh, okay,” Dongwoon opened his arms. “I think he’s calmed down now, I’m so sorry for bothering you-“
Ilhoon cried out loud dramatically when he was almost out of the male’s hands and the latter instinctively pulled him back. Ilhoon sniffed and stopped crying (again). “Uh...okay he cried again. What should we do?”
Dongwoon scratched his head. “Um...would you mind holding him for a moment just until I’m done with groceries? He seems to really, really like you.”
The male smiled as he glanced at Ilhoon. “Do you really like me, Ilhoonie?”
I LIKE YOU TOO, Dongwoon wanted to shout as he blankly stared at a very happy Ilhoon. One day when the baby was big enough he was going to retaliate for this day.
So Dongwoon finished his groceries in record time. He ran his eyes through the list Hyunseung gave him and went to the cashier to pay. When they were done, the pretty male looked like he was tired and Dongwoon quickly grabbed Ilhoon and the baby almost cried out loud for the third time.
“Ilhoonie,” Dongwoon shook his head sternly this time. “He’s tired because you’re so damn heavy. Now I’m gonna carry you so don’t cry anymore, okay?”
Ilhoon sniffed and obeyed as he was placed in Dongwoon’s arms. But he didn’t seem to want to separate with the pretty male as Ilhoon extended a hand to him.
The male chuckled and reached for Ilhoon’s small hand.
“Um,” Dongwoon cleared his throat. “It looks like Ilhoon’s not going to let you go.”
“I wonder,” the shoter male said while tilting his head to one side. “So what should we do?”
“Um,” Dongwoon wondered where the series of ‘um’ came from. “Well, I kinda need help...do you think you can walk with me to the apartment so that Ilhoon won’t cry anymore?”
“What if he keeps on crying?”
“Well it’s the apartment, I would know what to do. Eventually he’ll fall asleep when he’s tired.”
“You’re right,” the male nodded and smiled. “Alright.”
“I’m just-I’m really sorry for this.”
“Don’t worry about it. Ilhoonie is really cute.”
Dongwoon walked with one arm holding Ilhoon and the other one held the plastic bags. The male noticed this as he tried to take the plastic bags away but Dongwoon shook his head. “It’s okay. They’re heavy. Can you just please push the stroller?”
“But...”
Dongwoon was about to say something when he remembered the thing he wanted to know the most from the male.
“Son Dongwoon.”
The male blinked and he smiled shyly in realization.
“Lee Kikwang.”
***
Dongwoon was surely going to make Ilhoon pay when he got older.
His arms were sore by the time they got to the apartment which was strange since he hadn’t felt any burden when Kikwang was walking beside him (Kikwang had meant to tell Dongwoon that he could have just put the plastic bags in the stroller but in the end, he said nothing because Dongwoon looked so determined).
They talked the whole way. Dongwoon found out that Kikwang was a nurse and that he had just finished his night shift. Ilhoon never let go of Kikwang’s hand-he was just stubborn that way-but Kikwang didn’t seem to mind. As they passed by a few stores, Dongwoon glanced at their reflections in the glass panes and realized that they looked like a happy couple with a child.
The thought brought a smile to Dongwoon’s face.
A stupid and dreamy smile.
Dongwoon let Kikwang enter the room first before closing the door behind him.
Kikwang looked awkward as he glanced around. “Um, I wonder if I should be here...”
“What’s wrong?”
“If your girlfriend sees me...”
“My girlfriend?”
“Oh, um, your wife?”
“My wife??”
Kikwang blinked as he pointed slowly at the sleeping bundle in Dongwoon’s arms. “Ilhoon’s...”
Dongwoon dropped his eyes down and his mouth formed an o. “Oh. Oh. You mean... Wait, you think he’s my child?”
“Um...obviously?”
Dongwoon almost burst out laughing but he managed to hold it in. His grin was so wide that Kikwang could feel a blush creeping up to his neck. The man was just too handsome whenever he smiled. “He’s my nephew. My step nephew to be exact.”
“Step nephew...?”
Dongwoon’s grin turned into a little sad smile. “Ilhoon’s mother died when she gave birth to him.”
Kikwang held his breath. “Oh. I’m sorry. I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to...”
“It’s okay. So, his father then met my brother and then they got married and-“
“Your brother?”
Dongwoon stared cautiously, afraid if Kikwang would oppose the idea of having two fathers instead of a father and a mother. “Yeah. My brother.”
“So this is your brother’s apartment?”
Dongwoon nodded and as Kikwang glanced around in awe, he walked past him to Ilhoon’s room. Junhyung was still at work and Hyunseung was probably out doing something. He carefully put the baby into the crib and Ilhoon immediately curled into a ball. Dongwoon smiled fondly and all of his revenge plans were canceled. He was probably only going to sabotage Ilhoon’s first date when he was old enough. Dongwoon then covered his little feature with a blanket and walked out as quiet as possible.
“He’s asleep,” Dongwoon informed him. “I think it’s safe for you to go home.”
Kikwang smiled and the taller man thought he should stop doing it because it kept on giving him palpitations. “Okay then.”
“And now that you don’t have to worry about the girlfriend thing,” Dongwoon found himself blurting out without he could stop it. “Can I have your number?”
He thought Kikwang grimaced for a slight moment but then the pretty male smiled as an answer.
***
Dongwoon was not stalking.
He wasn’t stalking but there he was in front of the hospital where Kikwang worked with Ilhoon in his arms.
Ilhoon frowned at him and he looked bored. Dongwoon gave him a look before he turned back to stare at his phone, wondering what to do next. They had constantly texted each other and from the previous (endless) conversations he knew where Kikwang worked and at what time his shift would be over. And so no, he was not stalking.
Dongwoon had already arrived at the other’s workplace fifteen minutes before his shift ended.
“I should tell him,” Dongwoon mumbled to himself and looked at the baby in his arms. “I should tell him that I’m waiting and that I want to ask him to grab dinner with me...us...wait, why did I even bring you along? It wouldn’t be called a date, then.”
“Da,” Ilhoon seemed to pout in protest.
“But it’s not like he’d go to have dinner with me if you’re not around...you know, I need you Ilhoonie,” Dongwoon continued rambling (“Da,” came the gibberish reply yet again but noticably with a nod of agreement). “But it’s not like you’re going to marry him cos when you’re old enough he would be really old and even before that, I would marry him first so, sorry, Ilhoonie, he’s mine and you’re not going to-“
“Dongwoon-ah?”
Dongwoon fell silent as he saw Kikwang walking toward them (thoug he was hoping toward him, really) and he swallowed nervously. “H-hi. I thought your shift ends about another ten minutes or so...”
Kikwang looked amazed. “Oh wow, you’re really accurate.”
“It-it’s just-“, Dongwoon paused at how stupid he was, completely revealing that he was, in fact, a stalker. “Nevermind.”
“Hello, Ilhoonie,” Kikwang beamed at the baby as Ilhoon giggled happily and tried to reach out for him.
Dongwoon let Kikwang held Ilhoon and a tinge of jealousy appeared when the pretty male pecked Ilhoon’s forehead lovingly. He gathered his courage to speak and cleared his throat. “Um, Kikwang-ah...”
“Yes?”
“We’re going to have dinner...care to join us?”
Kikwang looked blank for a moment. His eyes were hollow and it was the second time Dongwoon noticed that something was off. It was gone in an instant as it was soon replaced with a cheerful smile. “Alright.”
But the uneasiness just wouldn’t go away even when they had arrived at the famous Japanese restaurant downtown.
Ilhoon squealed in delight as he noticed the usual restaurant his parents frequented to and clapped his hands in excitement.
Kikwang chuckled and ruffled the baby’s hair affectionately. “He knows this place.”
“Yeah,” Dongwoon smiled. “We come here quite often. It’s my brother’s favorite.”
The place was crowded and they decided to sit at the sushi bar. Dongwoon could feel their shoulders pressed together from the lack of space but strangely he didn’t seem to mind. Kikwang didn’t pull away from him even when they had ordered and it was only probably him being delusional when he felt Kikwang drew closer to him.
Dongwoon kept on stealing glances from the corner of his eye. Kikwang was attractive, that much he knew-even Ilhoon had become a fanboy at the age of a year and eight months. He was pretty, Dongwoon admitted whole heartedly. But there was something off about him. He would notice Kikwang spacing out for a spell or two whenever he was with him. Dongwoon didn’t know why he realized such small stuffs, he was sure other people wouldn’t notice, but he did.
Kikwang was...how should he put it?
Burdened? Worried? Unhappy?
When Kikwang realized a pair of eyes had been staring at his face, he turned to look at Dongwoon and smiled questioningly. “Is there something wrong?”
“You’re beautiful,” Dongwoon breathed out without thinking.
Kikwang stilled at his words and his smile vanished.
Dongwoon mentally kicked himself and became slightly panicked when Kikwang looked away from him. The situation tensed and Kikwang looked disturbed. It was probably because of his words. Dongwoon opened his mouth to say something-anything to make it all better, but then it was Ilhoon who took the initiative.
Ilhoon reached out his tiny hand to grab Kikwang’s sleeve. “Da...?”
Kikwang glanced down at the baby and his eyes were teary.
Holy shit.
Dongwoon quickly grabbed the tissues on the table and handed them to Kikwang breathlessly. “I’m sorry. I won’t say that ever again. I’m sorry. Please don’t cry.”
Kikwang managed to blink his tears away and smiled sheepishly at Dongwoon. “Thank you.”
The previous situation was soon forgotten as the waiter brought them their food and wished them a proper ‘have a nice meal’ in Japanese. Kikwang was soon back to being himself and laughed at Ilhoon as he kindly spoke to the baby (“Let’s eat, Ilhoonie!”).
Dongwoon found himself smiling as he had never seen Ilhoon so attached to a stranger before (the little boy didn’t care about Doojoon at all when the elder tried to hug him or that one time when Seungho made funny faces at him which was hilarious to Dongwoon since Ilhoon just yawned).
When Kikwang smiled at him and his eyes went into two beautiful crescents (“Let’s eat, Dongwoon-ah”), it was then Dongwoon knew that he was in love.
***
The days passed like a breeze and it took a little while for Dongwoon to realize that Kikwang had stopped texting him.
He had also stopped returning his calls and Dongwoon wondered if he was busy.
Everytime he went to Hyunseung and Junhyung’s apartment, Ilhoon would look at him expectantly and reached out his hands to him, hoping for Dongwoon to take him away to see the pretty male. Hyunseung looked amused at the view as Dongwoon shook his head sadly and both of them pouted on the couch together, watching some random cartoon show.
Ilhoon held on to his angry bird pillow a lot now and his coke shaped one was neglected. They were passing by a toy store the other day and Kikwang felt like buying it for Ilhoon. The baby pointed at the red pillow frantically and looked in bliss as he hugged the newly bought pillow with his eyes closed in content. Dongwoon rolled his eyes and thanked Kikwang for the gift. Ilhoon also made a sound, probably thanking him too.
Dongwoon wanted to see Kikwang but since the pretty male hadn’t replied any of his texts, he decided to stop trying. He was sure Kikwang would contact him when he was not busy.
It was in the middle of the night when his phone vibrated loudly on the nightstand. Dongwoon jolted abruptly as he reached out for the phone in a panic, scared it was probably Hyunseung or Junhyung and something bad had happened and they needed his help. He picked up immediately. “Hello?”
No sound was heard. A vein popped in his forehead. Dongwoon would curse instantly if it was a prank call.
“Hello??”
“...Dongwoon-ah.”
Dongwoon inhaled a sharp breath as he recognized the voice. He straightened his back as he became very, very alarmed. “Kikwang-ah...?”
He heard a soft sniff. “Hello.”
Dongwoon slowly released the breath he had been holding. “Hello.”
“I’m sorry...for calling in such an ungodly hour.”
Dongwoon shook his head even though Kikwang couldn’t see it. “It’s okay. Is everything alright? Did you have nightmare?”
“...yeah...nightmare...”
Would it be insane if Dongwoon leap out of his bed and go straight to Kikwang’s apartment? He paused at the thought because he had no idea where Kikwang lived. “It’s going to be alright, okay? Just...just stay on the bed. I’ll be here. I’ll be here for you. I’ll accompany you.”
He felt Kikwang smiled into the phone. “...I believe you...”
Dongwoon felt himself relaxed at how much calmer Kikwang’s tone was right then and leaned his back against the headboard. “Of course. I’ll protect you. Just go back to sleep. I’ll be here until you fall asleep.”
Kikwang chuckled. “I wish you were here, Dongwoon-ah. And Ilhoonie, too. And then we both can see him falling asleep on the bed and just stare at him forever-“
He stopped talking at the end of the line.
“I-I mean, I’m-I’m sorry-“
“It’d be nice,” Dongwoon commented. “It’d be nice to have that. You know what? One day, we will.”
There was a hint of hope in Kikwang’s voice. “...we will?”
Dongwoon’s voice was deep and certain. “We will, Kikwang-ah.”
***
Kikwang had resumed his silence then.
Dongwoon’s calls would go straight to voicemails and his texts were still being ignored.
He finally had enough of it and decided to just go to the hospital. Dongwoon would wait forever for Kikwang because he wanted, no, he needed to see him. He waited patiently in front of the hospital but after half an hour he was starting to get jittery because there was still no sign of Kikwang even though his shift should have finished a few minutes ago.
Dongwoon finally went to the entrance hesitantly. A lot of people were passing by and he looked for any signs of Kikwang and gave up when he found none. Dongwoon decided to just ask one of the nurses. “Excuse me.”
“Yes?”, the girl turned to stare at him. Her nametag said “Jihyun.”
“Jihyun-ssi, hi, sorry for bothering your work. I’m looking for Kikwang...”
“Kikwangie?”, Jihyun repeated and she stared at Dongwoon from head to toe. “Lee Kikwang?”
“Y-yes, that’s him,” Dongwoon nervously replied. “I’m looking for him.”
“He didn’t come to work today,” Jihyun said. “It’s been two days.”
“Is-is he sick?”
“I guess.”
“Can I ask for his address?”
Jihyun’s brows furrowed as she observed Dongwoon like he was a criminal. Dongwoon squirmed under his gaze but he was determined to see Kikwang. She pursed her lips as she narrowed her eyes. “...you’re not a rapist or some sort, are you?”
Dongwoon made a face.
“Do you have a baby?”
The tall male wondered what it had to do with Kikwang’s address but he nodded. “Not exactly mine. It’s my brother’s.”
“Ah, so it was you...”, Jihyun clicked her tongue and finally, a small smile appeared on her lips. It disappeared as soon as it came as her expression turned dark. “I’m gonna have to copy your ID and phone number, just in case Kikwang doesn’t show up the next day and if he’s hurt, or worse, dead I’m gonna hunt you down. Is that clear?”
Dongwoon suppressed the urge to flick her head for having such thoughts but he understood she was just being careful.
“Deal."
***
Dongwoon gazed blankly at the wooden door.
If there was one thing he didn’t think about, it would be what he would say to Kikwang (if he even had the courage to knock on the door, of course). Kikwang had been avoiding him and what if he decided to slam the door shut right on his face when he saw him?
Dongwoon sighed and turned around to go home. But within his second step, he remembered his determination about seeing Kikwang and then he held up his hand in mid air and knocked. He was patient at first. But as a few minutes passed by, Dongwoon became slightly impatient and his knockings got faster. Maybe Kikwang wasn’t home. Maybe he should’ve brought Ilhoon along because the baby had always been a good luck charm. Maybe, just maybe-
All of a sudden the door swung opened and Dongwoon held his breath.
Kikwang seemed surprised to see him. “Dongwoon-ah?”
Dongwoon wanted to just hug him and pour his heart out that he missed him and everything but he was shocked at how pale Kikwang was. He was clad in a tee and a short. He seemed a bit embarassed with his choice of clothes when he realized Dongwoon didn’t stop staring at them.
“I’m sorry, I wasn’t expecting any guest...”
“It’s okay.”
“How did you...”
“Can I come in?”
Kikwang looked taken aback at the sudden request but he nodded. He let Dongwoon walked past right him and slowly closed the door. Dongwoon turned around to face him but Kikwang didn’t budge an inch, his feet were transfixed on the floor.
“I’m sorry,” Dongwoon said pointedly. “I’m sorry if I have ever hurt your feelings.”
“What...?”, Kikwang looked confused.
“You’ve stopped calling,” Dongwoon continued and glanced down. “You’ve stopped returning my texts, and I thought it must be something I’ve said. I’m sorry.”
“No, it’s not-“, Kikwang shook his head as he was about to step forward, but then he stopped and winced in pain. He clutched on the lower part of his abdomen and closed his eyes.
“What’s wrong?”, Dongwoon moved closer to Kikwang with a frown.
“Don’t!!”, Kikwang hissed and Dongwoon stopped in his track. “I-I mean, I’m alright...j-just don’t come any closer.”
“Kikwang-ah,” Dongwoon said in a low voice. “What’s wrong?”
“It-it happens sometimes,” Kikwang shook his head slowly. His hand was still unmoving from his stomach. “I-I’ll be okay soon.”
“Enough,” Dongwoon snapped in irritation. “I’m not Ilhoon, Kikwang-ah. Something is definitely wrong with you so stop hiding it from me. I’m not a two year old baby that you can fool easily.”
Kikwang’s eyes widened in fear as the taller of the two scooted closer. “W-wait, Dongwoon-ah, please-please wait!”
Dongwoon grabbed Kikwang by the arms and the latter cried out in pain. Kikwang tried to cover his own body but failed as Dongwoon yanked his wrists to pull him closer to him and he cried again painfully.
“Dongwoon-ah, it hurts!”, Kikwang couldn’t take it anymore as he felt his whole body ached badly. He sniffed as he held tightly to Dongwoon’s arms and laid his head weakly on his shoulder. “Please...it hurts...”
Dongwoon gritted his teeth. It was painful to see Kikwang in such state and Dongwoon was willing to do anything to make the pain go away. “Where does it hurt?”
Kikwang gasped for air as his eyes brimmed with tears. “It hurts...everytime I move...”
“Your stomach?”
Kikwang slowly shook his head and looked down in shame. “That, too. But it doesn’t hurt as much as my...”
Dongwoon slowly came to a realization. He held his breath as Kikwang continued wincing in pain and he carefully lifted up the shorter male into his arms. Kikwang gasped and whimpered quietly. Dongwoon carried him bridal style as gentle as he could like a fragile glass and placed him carefully on the couch. Kikwang bit his lip in pain and his nails dug a bit more than they should into Dongwoon’s skin.
“Can I...?”, Dongwoon asked for his permission and Kikwang nodded bashfully.
So Dongwoon lifted up his tee only to find dark bruises on Kikwang’s flat stomach. He held his breath and his eyes widened in disbelief as he came to a sense of what was going on. Dongwoon’s eyes shifted from Kikwang’s stomach to the beautiful dark orbs that were sparkling with tears. He mentally cursed.
Fuck.
“He was angry,” Kikwang whispered weakly as he curled his fist at the end of Dongwoon’s shirt. “I asked for a break up and he was angry. The anger issue was always a problem but it never came to something like this... He would only slap me or hit me, but this time it was...it was much, much worse...”
Dongwoon pressed his hand on the back of Kikwang’s neck by instinct. His heart clenched tightly. The feeling of wanting to protect Kikwang had gotten bigger and bigger like it would swallow everything. Dongwoon enchanted soothing words to make the pain go away but Kikwang couldn’t stop crying.
“He was rough...he was so rough... I was so scared, Dongwoon-ah...”
“He’s gone,” Dongwoon whispered painfully. “He’s gone and he’s not gonna hurt you anymore, I swear.”
“I was so scared I wouldn’t be able to see you again...”
“I’m here now. Don’t be scared. I’ll protect you.”
Kikwang leaned into Dongwoon’s touch and slowly closed his eyes. “Promise me? Please... Don’t go away. Don’t leave me...”
“I won’t,” Dongwoon’s grip around Kikwang got tighter. “I promise.”
When Kikwang had fallen asleep, Dongwoon went to the bedroom to see the mess. And what he found made him seethe underneath his blank expression. The bedsheet was torn and there were traces of blood on it. Dongwoon found some more blood on a pair of boxer too (obviously Kikwang’s) and gritted his teeth in anger.
Dongwoon understood completely then.
Kikwang’s face. The absentmindedness. Everything.
It was fear.
He was probably trying to tell Dongwoon that he still had someone, that he couldn’t possibly go with him, but it never came. Instead Kikwang was always smiling cheerfully at him. Was it because of him and Ilhoon? Or were things bad even before they met? The tall male didn’t know and it was eating at him.
Dongwoon’s eyes drifted at the bed once again. Judging from the sheets, the movement must have been really rough and he could imagine Kikwang on it, trying to push his attacker away and begging for him to stop.
If Ilhoon didn’t cry on their third meeting, would it turn out like this? If Dongwoon didn’t show up at the hospital waiting for Kikwang, would they be in the situation now? There were a lot of ifs but it was too late. Everything had happened and nothing could be done at the moment. Kikwang was hurt and Dongwoon needed to be there for him to give him protection and comfort.
He then took the decision to pack some of Kikwang’s things because he definitely wouldn’t let the pretty male live here any longer.
***
They went to the doctor when Kikwang had felt slightly better to check his condition.
Physically he would heal in no time but mentally, Dongwoon wasn’t sure. He knew though that he would do anything to help. He planned on suing Kikwang’s ex boyfriend for rape but Kikwang begged him not to. Dongwoon groaned in frustration and finally gave in to Kikwang’s pleading and stopped trying.
That was probably why he was being extremely gentle with Kikwang. They had lived together (Kikwang had woken up in Dongwoon’s bedroom the next day and he somehow knew it would be his new home) after the incident and Dongwoon took the liberty of changing Kikwang’s number. Slowly, but surely, their relationship developed into something more.
The kiss happened at the right moment.
It just happened spontaneously when Hyunseung had asked him to take care of Ilhoon while he and Junhyung went out for a movie. They were sitting on the couch with the baby on Dongwoon’s lap, nodding in enthusiasm at Spongebob Squarepants on the television and Kikwang was beside him. He chuckled as Ilhoon made a sound at Patrick’s appearance when he realized that Dongwoon had been staring at him.
Kikwang turned to look at him and when he smiled, Dongwoon lost his sanity and leaned forward to claim those plump lips.
Ilhoon was forgotten, Kikwang’s pain was forgotten, everything else was forgotten.
The baby didn’t seem to realize that his favorite uncle and Kikwang were kissing behind him. When he chuckled at a scene on the television, Dongwoon broke the kiss but they didn’t really pull away. He could still feel Kikwang’s lips ghosting against his and he couldn’t describe the overwhelming sensation.
It was pure bliss and Dongwoon mouthed ‘I love you’ at Kikwang. The other male only smiled in return and even though he replied nothing, his eyes showed so much emotions and that was enough.
And at that moment, Dongwoon promised himself that no matter what would happen, he would never let Kikwang go.
***
It was on Ilhoon’s second birthday when Dongwoon found out that Kikwang was older than him (“So I should call you Kikwang-hyung?” and of course he then created a nickname for his boyfriend).
Ilhoon looked really happy at the constant sight of the pretty male in his house (duh, because he got to meet Kikwang more) and seemed to understand that Kikwang was now part of his family.
Dongwoon couldn’t stop snorting at Ilhoon and his fanboy gestures. He poked at the baby’s nose annoyingly. “When will you stop being a fanboy?”
Hyunseung thought it was cute. Junhyung thought it was dangerous (“What if it’s a sign that he’s gifted in stalking?”).
That night, they all went out to celebrate.
Ilhoon didn’t really understand why they all got him those really sweet cakes and or to blow the candles out but everyone was there and he was happy. He giggled and didn’t let go when Kikwang hugged him but then he was (half) forcefully detached by a jealous Dongwoon. His eyes widened and Dongwoon stuck his tongue out at him as he wrapped an arm protectively around Kikwang’s chest. Ilhoon showed signs of protest and it seemed like he was on the verge of tears.
Hyunseung rolled his eyes and quickly patted the baby’s back. The moment Ilhoon was back in his Umma’s arms, he was calm but he didn’t stop glaring at his uncle. “Seriously, Woonie, you can’t think of Ilhoon as your rival. He’s only two. Kikwang-ah is definitely yours.”
Dongwoon made a face at his brother’s statement and Kikwang laughed.
Ilhoon was fast asleep that night and Hyunseung had let them stayed in his bedroom as long as they were quiet.
Kikwang stared at Ilhoon in awe as he stirred slightly in his sleep. “He’s so cute...”
Dongwoon nodded even though he didn’t agree whole heartedly on that. “Well. You’re cuter.”
Kikwang grinned sheepishly. “Woonie, he’s two and I’m like, twenty three.”
“He’s baby cute, you’re mature cute,” Dongwoon teased and leaned forward to peck him on his cheek. His boyfriend laughed voicelessly.
They kept on staring at the sleeping bundle in the crib. Ilhoon looked so peaceful in his sleep, sometimes muttering a dreamy “Da.” And his lips would curve into a smile. They wondered what kind of dream he had.
Both of them were consumed by a comfortable silence.
Kikwang glanced at Dongwoon for a second before gazing back at Ilhoon. Even though a few months had passed and they were in a steady relationship, Dongwoon had never asked about the incident. Kikwang felt really thankful but sooner or later he needed to tell him. It was not fair to keep a secret to Dongwoon, now that they were together.
Dongwoon’s fingers trailed on his cheek. “What’s wrong?”
Kikwang smiled as he grabbed his boyfriend’s hand. “You know,” Kikwang started reluctantly. “He...asked me to marry him that day.”
Dongwoon slowly tore his gaze off of Ilhoon. Kikwang’s voice was low and he seemed embarassed at the topic. Dongwoon gave a squeeze on their entwined hands as if to say it was okay, even though he hated to hear anything about Kikwang’s ex boyfriend. “...and?”
“I told him I fell in love with other guys. Two guys to be exact,” Kikwang looked amused for a moment but then it stopped. “He got so angry...and it just...happened.”
Dongwoon didn’t say anything. Kikwang looked troubled and avoided his boyfriend’s gaze. Dongwoon then took a deep breath.
“Hey,” he whispered as he leaned closer. “You’re with me, now, alright?”
Kikwang’s lips slowly curved into a smile. “Alright.”
“And even though you said two guys but it was only me that you really fell in love with, right?”, Dongwoon unabashedly pointed at himself. “You can’t possibly want to have a relationship with a baby.”
He slowly closed the gap between them to feel the older male’s soft lips.
When they finally had enough of feeling each other’s warmth, Kikwang giggled. The taller male grimaced and he looked confused.
“What’s wrong?”
“Your giggle sounds just like Ilhoon’s.”
***
“Woonie, listen to this.”
Dongwoon stopped staring at his computer screen and peered over his glasses. “Hm?”
“My cousin said she’s coming over,” Kikwang said cheerfully as he waved his phone. “I haven’t met her in a few years. We’re very close since we were kids and oh, I’m so happy! Do you think I can introduce her to Junnie and Seungie-hyung? She said she’s gonna bring her son so I was thinking maybe we could introduce him to Ilhoonie...”
Dongwoon failed to hide his grin. “I don’t mind but Junnie-hyung would be really protective of Ilhoon if he knows your plan. How old is her son anyway?”
“I’m not too sure but I think he’s a couple of years older. A year, maybe two perhaps?”
“Yeah, they can start as friends,” Dongwoon laughed and took off his glasses. “He’s gonna have to try really hard to understand Ilhoon because he can’t even speak coherent words yet. Anyway, what’s his name?”
Kikwang smiled as his eyes went back to his phone.
“Hyunsik, Woonie. Hyunsik.”
End.
Okay I swear I’m not a BTOB fan.