Lonely [1/2]
Title: Lonely [1/2]
Author: FloweryMisha
Pairing: SuLay, slight!SuChen
Warning: BoyxBoy love. Enough said.
Summary: Junmyeon was not alone. But he was lonely.
Author’s Note: SuChen-is my guilty pleasure. OTL. And why am I obsessed with the college!AU and those Chinese exchange students on scholarships? This shall be my last *nods in determination.
***
When Junmyeon decided to accept the confession of a Chinese male who happened to be living in his country on a scholarship, everyone was a bit flabbergasted.
Sehun’s face brightened as he congratulated him but then it was replaced with a frown. “Wait... Did I hear it right? Zhang Yixing?”
Kris formed a small ‘oh’ with his mouth and he looked lost in thought. Considering that he was also in Korea on the same scholarship programme, he had heard that name before but he wasn’t sure. Yixing was a year younger, that must be why-even though there weren’t many Chinese students who got the scholarships. Blame his poor skills for memorizing names. “Why him...?”
Baekhyun, whom he thought was going to give him the widest grin and a happy response, made a face. “That smart, handsome Chinese male?”
Junmyeon faked a hurt look at his best friend. His friends’ responds were starting to irritate him. “Not you too, Baekhyunnie. What, you think I don’t deserve someone like him?”
“No, I didn’t mean to... I’m-I’m okay with your choice,” Baekhyun held up his hands to defend himself. “I’m just surprised. I mean, everyone was rooting for you and Jongdae... Did he make a move on you these past months that I knew nothing about?”
“Jongdae is a friend,” Junmyeon pouted. “Besides, he just broke up with Minseok. And no, Yixing didn’t make a move on me at all. Do you know that he can dance? His reflex is really, really good.”
“Well, if you want someone who can dance, you should Jongin, but over Kyungsoo’s dead body,” Baekhyun snickered to himself and stopped because Junmyeon didn’t look amused at all. “So, uh...you just accepted him like that?But you don’t know him, hyung. Don’t you think you’re rushing?”
“I’ll get to know him better.”
“Don’t you think it would be better for you to know him first before accepting the confession?”
“Are you suggesting that I made a mistake?”
“I really hope you didn’t,” Baekhyun sighed and placed a hand on his forehead. “Nevermind. What’s done is done. I hope he’s a good person.”
“He is,” Junmyeon smiled. “He is, Baekhyun-ah.”
Baekhyun could only smile back and crossed his fingers behind his back.
***
As Kris would put it, Junmyeon was not pretty.
He was, however, sexually attractive (Kris had developed a constant headache from unrelenting onslaught of Chinese horndogsfriends associates, all of whom were pitchers, asking him how loud Junmyeon would be in bed, and his same answers of, “How the hell should I know?!”. Unanimously, it was agreed that Junmyeon was a hundred percent bottom. All that just by looking at his face).
Junmyeon had this charismatic and calming aura that people around him could instantly clicked with. His friends labeled him as a Guardian because he was a keeper and protective of his loved ones. Everyone wanted to be near him.
But there was something off about Junmyeon’s smile, again as Kris would point out.
Junmyeon would smile but it was nothing like Chanyeol’s.
Everyone had a different smile, of course, but when Chanyeol smiled, people would feel happy and excited because Chanyeol’s smile was blinding with his perfect white teeth. That was why he was given the nickname Happy Virus. It was also one of the reasons why Baekhyun had fallen for him. If he didn’t laugh for a day then there might be something wrong with him. Like he (probably) knocked himself over or had a fight with Baekhyun.
And when Junmyeon would smile, while sweet and dazzling, it would never reach his eyes. He mostly smiled only when he was amused. Odd, really. In fact, Kris had never seen him laughed so hard until his eyes were teary or till it hurt so badly that he couldn’t even produce any sound. Junmyeon would only smile no matter how funny the situation was. There was one time when all of his friends were giggling like they were out of their minds while he just sat quietly and smiled.
It’s just his trademark, Kris stated. That sad smile of his.
Baekhyun would roll his eyes at the statement but inwardly, he knew that it was true. Junmyeon was not the type to share his thoughts so he never really knew what the older male really felt. His eyes were always empty. Junmyeon was also not the type who liked to socialize much. He preferred sticking to his old friends instead of meeting new people.
Junmyeon had an older sibling, Siwon.
Physically, they both were very attractive. And while they looked similar face-wise, they were as different as the moon and the sun. Where Junmyeon was like the moon, soft and effiminate with a soothing glow-and another reason he was pegged as a bottom-while Siwon was larger than life with his build and intense and scorching personality.
Siwon was also more talkative and he had a lot of friends (Kris lamented inwardly when his Chinese friends-mostly bottoms-continuously demanded how good the hundred percent top Siwon would be in bed, to which he would always reply with, “I don’t even want to know!”). He was always invited to a lot of high ranked parties while Junmyeon preferred to just stay home and had a nice cup of coffee. Siwon was proud to let himself shine while Junmyeon chose to hide himself in the corner, drowning in history books.
His conversation with Baekhyun about Yixing earlier got Junmyeon to think.
Everyone’s responds to his new boyfriend seemed a bit off. He had hoped Baekhyun would be happy for him-Junmyeon knew Baekhyun did feel happy for him, he was probably just surprised because, Yixing never made a move on him at all. He pondered over Sehun and Kris’ reactions and thought that they probably had the same thing in their minds.
He recalled that Jongdae was mentioned. Jongdae was their friend and Junmyeon really considered him as one. The male had a nice smile and he was cute. Jongdae had just broken up with Minseok a few months ago and Junmyeon didn’t think he was making a move on him. All they did was chat and they were never alone in most situations. And it was not like he had something toward the male.
To be honest, Junmyeon was a bit amazed at Yixing’s confession the other day because they barely knew each other.
No one was ever that bold to him before. Other people would usually think twice about confessing to Junmyeon because even though he was pretty (or sexually attractive like Kris had said) they needed to think about his social status. Junmyeon’s family was rich. Like, hell rich even by the filthy rich standards. Though he was never arrogant about it. It was his parents’ wealth afterall and not his. Junmyeon didn’t like to show off and that was why he wasn’t comfortable meeting new people because they would be too scared of him. Some had tried to take advantage of him by pretending to be his friends-all with the same patterns of subtle and coy manner-but they had all been dealt with, courtesy of his family. After the last ones...well it was safe to say that no onde dared to try the same thing again.
That was also probably why Junmyeon thought Yixing was different. The boy had been blunt and straight to the point.
It was one of the those days when Baekhyun went home with Chanyeol and had left him behind. He was trying getting used to it because sooner or later Junmyeon had to accept the fact that they would get married someday and he would be left alone forever. Somehow that thought scared him. Baekhyun was the only person who could understand him even without words.
He was sitting on the swing with his feet dangling over the ground when Yixing came up to him. He saw a pair of nice, long legs-good choice of shoes, too-and Junmyeon looked up warily to find a really handsome man staring at him. The male looked nervous and Junmyeon found himself getting nervous as well. He had never seen the male before but the mere sight of him made his heart skipped a beat.
“Choi Junmyeon,” the male softly said. “Be my boyfriend.”
It wasn’t even a question but a silent yet strong demand. There were no ‘would you’ or ‘please’ and he looked really serious with what he had just said.
Junmyeon pondered for a moment as he felt his face grew hotter. He felt like running away and screaming like a fangirl-or a fanboy in this case-but his feet were rooted to the ground. It was too soon to decide but Junmyeon thought he liked him. He liked the male. He liked the determination and the bravery that he showed. Junmyeon had never found such things addressed to him before.
That was probably why he smiled and nodded shyly as an answer.
“Is that a yes? Oh my God,” Yixing’s eyes widened as he had not expected such a quick answer.
Junmyeon found himself chuckling shyly and nodded once again. “It’s a yes.”
“Thank you. I’m-I’m Yixing, by the way. Zhang Yixing.”
Yixing then leaned forward to give him a hug.
Junmyeon closed his eyes as he felt the warmth spread and he slowly hugged back.
***
Yixing was funny.
He joked a lot with his poker face expression and it made Junmyeon laughed. (“How could you do that?”, he asked happily between his laugh as he poked his boyfriend’s side-yes, his boyfriend). And it was a first. Junmyeon forgot when was the last time he laughed whole heartedly like this. They had only went out for two dates and Junmyeon already felt a huge fondness toward him.
Yixing was on scholarship with a medical major in their university which meant that he was really smart.
It had never occured to Junmyeon in his life before to become a doctor. His parents were always encouraging him to take business but he knew it would be his brother, Siwon, who was going to take over the family’s company one day. That was why he took Korean history as a major. Siwon would do a better job, his brother had this charming way of winning people’s trust while he didn’t have the skill. And wouldn’t it be nice to be a history teacher and have a doctor as a husband?
Junmyeon smiled at the thought.
A week had passed by and the two dates stayed two.
The third date had not happened yet, because a lot of exams were coming and both needed to study to get good grades.
Junmyeon was only going to study at the library for some book references and quietness but it was much more than that for Yixing. The latter had to do some experiments on cadavers (“Eww,” Junmyeon wrinkled his nose in disgust) and made a journal about them. He also had a lot of homeworks and extra classes. Yixing looked tired between their brief meetings and he smiled wryly at Junmyeon.
“I need to get straight As this semester,” he muttered tiredly as he rested his head on Junmyeon’s shoulder. “That’s the only way to reduce classes next year...”
Junmyeon stroke his hair caringly and smiled. Yixing almost fell asleep on his shoulder judging from the way he fought hard to keep his eyes opened-his dark lashes were pretty and long and they were beautiful. Junmyeon wanted to just let him sleep because the male needed a lot of rest, but then he remembered the determination on Yixing’s voice and told him that it was time for him to go.
“Face’em all, baby. Face’em all.”
Yixing couldn’t help but grinned at Junmyeon’s (failed) attempt to cheer him up. He pecked him on his lips before he left.
Their first kiss.
It was Junmyeon’s first kiss, too. It tasted so sweet that he wanted Yixing to kiss him once again to make him remember that it was real. He slowly touched the spot where Yixing’s lips had been. It was still burning even after he got home and went into a deep slumber.
They hadn’t met each other after that.
Junmyeon assumed that Yixing was either really busy or really tired to meet him.
Their communication was not progressing either.
When Junmyeon texted him in the morning, Yixing would reply to him in the afternoon. Sometimes at night and sometimes, even a few days after. Most of the times, Junmyeon wanted to call Yixing and whined but he knew he would only burdened him more. He was jealous at the sight of Baekhyun and Chanyeol who could be together almost everyday or at Jongin and Kai who seemed to be glued because they never were separated-it was not fair to compare his situation with theirs because the couples took the same major.
Yixing couldn’t even meet him for just a hug or a peck.
“Hey.”
Junmyeon snapped out of his trance and stared at Baekhyun blankly. “Hey...”
“Waiting for your boyfriend?”, Baekhyun smiled and took a seat beside him.
Junmyeon wanted to say yes. He was actually hoping to go home with Yixing today. But since Yixing hadn’t replied to any of his texts, Junmyeon slowly shook his head. “No...he’s busy. I don’t want to bother him...”
“Hm,” Baekhyun hummed in thought. “You know, first year in medical major is a pain. You’re really busy and basically all you do is study, study and study. Just look at Kris-ge in his first year. He was practically a mess. He didn’t even bother to comb his hair. On the second year, I think it was still a busy year. But Kris-ge was neater in his second year, remember? He definitely managed to dress better. And as for the third and fourth year, I think...that’s when you’re gonna be faced with a lot of practices and internships. Um, more free time?”
Junmyeon looked at Baekhyun in horror. “Oh my God. I have to wait for the third year?”
Baekhyun stared back. “Um, it’s...it’s not that long. We’ve been friends since we were in diapers and now look at us. Time flies really fast.”
“Oh my God,” Junmyeon panickly said to himself.
“There are always Saturdays and Sundays. Don’t be such a drama queen.”
“What if he wants to rest on weekends?”
Baekhyun palmed his face and was about to say something when Junmyeon got up from his seat abruptly. “Hyung, where are you going?”
“Home,” Junmyeon whispered as he felt an incoming headache.
Maybe having a doctor as a husband was not such a good idea.
***
Yixing continued to ignore Junmyeon-or so he felt.
And it hurt.
Junmyeon sometimes spotted him from the canteen walking with his friends and they would have these thick, big books in their hands. He felt bad for Yixing because everytime he saw the Chinese male, his face was pale like he hadn’t had a good night sleep for days. If Junmyeon was really lucky, Yixing would lift up his head and looked at his direction. It would bring a smile to both of them but Junmyeon’s would dissipate because Yixing was soon dragged away by his friends for the next class.
So this was what it felt like to have a boyfriend but not being able to spend the time together.
The thought of Yixing distracted him too much that Junmyeon didn’t even realized someone was sitting across him.
“Long time no see, hyung.”
Junmyeon blinked as he acknowledged the owner of the voice.
Jongdae smiled at him with his elbows propped on the table for support. “What was on your mind?”
“J-Jongdae,” Junmyeon stuttered in embarassment. How long had he been sitting there without a word?
“Is your class done for the day, hyung?”
“Um, yeah...”
“Great. Wanna go watch a movie?”
Junmyeon blinked rapidly. A movie? A movie, as in a date? Yixing had never asked him to a movie before. They only had dinner and coffee but had never gonve for a movie before. Was watching a movie considered as a date? And he was in a relationship with Yixing. Should Yixing be informed about it or should he just go because Jongdae was his friend afterall and that Yixing was busy?
It must be really clear on his face that Junmyeon had a lot in his mind. His expression changed from blank to worry and hesitant.
“As friends, hyung,” Jongdae added quickly. “It’s been a while since we hang out, right? Why don’t we ask the others to come along?”
Junmyeon found himself a bit relaxed at the statement. Right, as friends. Watching a movie with your friend was normal, Junmyeon. It was normal. But Baekhyun had already gone home with Chanyeol and he wasn’t sure Jongin and Kyungsoo had classes today. Junmyeon felt tormented. He was tempted to call Yixing but he was afraid the latter was already in class. He had also wanted to call Baekhyun, just because.
He did nothing.
“Let’s go, hyung. We’re still gonna have to queue up in a line for the tickets.”
Jongdae had already stood up and waited for Junmyeon patiently with a kind smile.
What should I do...?
Junmyeon gulped as he slowly threw his phone into the bag and got up from his seat.
***
Yixing wasn’t there to fill his days but it didn’t hurt as much as before.
Because Jongdae was there for him.
If Junmyeon was usually seen sitting all by himself with his book on the table, now he was not anymore. Jongdae could be seen with him almost everywhere and it made Baekhyun kind of worried. Junmyeon needed a friend but it was obvious that Jongdae wanted more and he was not sure his best friend realized this.
Baekhyun was half blaming Yixing for not being a good boyfriend but on the other side he understood the phase the Chinese male went through. He didn’t blame Junmyeon for opening himself to Jongdae’s warm attention, as long as it didn’t go overboard. But Junmyeon seemed to have ignored his phone completely (he gave up texting Yixing after the third day). Baekhyun didn’t want Junmyeon to think that he was also ignoring the older male so he decided to talk about it.
Baekhyun told Chanyeol that he would go home with Junmyeon that day. Chanyeol nodded in understanding before kissing him on the lips and went home by himself. Baekhyun failed to see the envious expression on his best friend’s face.
Both of them then went to their favorite cafe and ordered some cakes. Baekhyun, of course went for the strawberry cheesecake. He needed something sweeter than Chanyeol because the taste of him had still lingered on his lips. Park Chanyeol was insanely addictive and he was glad he was his.
“So...Jongdae,” Baekhyun started casually as he sliced his cake. “He’s been around you lately.”
Junmyeon looked at the sliced cake expectantly although he did flinch at the name. “Yeah. He’s really nice.”
Baekhyun paused. “Oh.”
“And he can dance,” Junmyeon’s face brightened. “Do you know that he can dance? He does this robot thing and he told me he had taken a dance class with Jongin when they were still in junior high or something-“
“Does Yixing know?”, Baekhyun cut.
Junmyeon looked taken aback. “Know what?”
“That you’re hanging out with Jongdae?”
Junmyeon stared at the neglected cheesecake. “...no.”
“You didn’t tell him?”
“Why should I? Jongdae’s a friend.”
“What if Jongdae wants more? What if he doesn’t think of you as a mere friend?” Baekhyun half snapped.
It got Junmyeon to hold his breath as his jaw dropped slightly. “Don’t be silly. He doesn’t.”
“Did you tell Jongdae that you’re seeing someone?”
“I’m-I’m sure he knows.”
“He won’t until you tell him.”
Junmyeon’s eyes widened in disbelief and a splash of hurt was plastered on his face. “What do you mean by that?”
“I just don’t want you to hurt anyone, hyung-“
“Hurt? What do you know about hurt?” Junmyeon’s pitch was high as he clasped a hand to his chest. “If there’s anyone who hurt anyone then it’s Yixing. He hurt me by ignoring me.”
“That doesn’t mean it’s right for you to do this just to get back at him.”
It was like an invisible slap on Junmyeon’s face. He was so shocked with Baekhyun’s reply that he was unable to retort anything. Junmyeon’s lips trembled in anger as he finally got a hold of himself and quietly spoke, “You have no idea, Baekhyunnie. You are so lucky to have Chanyeol. Chanyeol was always there for you, he was always there to hold you in his arms, to comfort you when you’re in pain, and Yixing-Yixing had done none of that to me. He was not there when I needed him. And Jongdae-he was-”
Chanyeol didn’t have anything to do with this, the younger of the two almost snapped again but he managed to hold it back. Baekhyun understood that Junmyeon was in denial and that by replying he would only hurt him more. But he hated the fact that Junmyeon kept on comparing other couple’s relationship with his. So Baekhyun opened his mouth to reply.
“If he wasn’t there, why didn’t you go look for him?”
Junmyeon left the place in anger.
[2]