Pure [3/?]

[flowerymisha]

Title: Pure [3/?]
Author: FloweryMisha
Pairing: KiWoon
Warning: BoyxBoy love. Enough said.
Summary: To fall in love with someone impossible is not a curse. It’s merely blessed.



[2]

Kikwang didn’t know how they knew.

His parents found out about his relationship with Dongwoon (again), and they got so angry. His mother slapped him hard, screaming at him that he’s not being a good son, that he would only be an embarassment to the public, to the family, to the world, if they knew that the heir of Lee family was seeing someone poor, someone not worth enough-they kept on repeating the words over and over again and it hurt Kikwang’s ears.

They’ve became very protective, but was that even right?

Kikwang was caged-he was locked in his own room, they took his phone away and he could hear his mother slammed the phone hard on the floor and it scattered everywhere. He was only allowed to go outside for hospital, and with tight protection too, his driver was always waiting for him and if he’s not around, Jinwoon was always there.

Jinwoon.

He knew how unhappy Kikwang was.

Yet Jinwoon still couldn’t let Kikwang go, no matter how hard Kikwang begged him to.

Kikwang was tortured and depressed. He wondered what Dongwoon was doing, did he look for him, did he miss him, because Kikwang knew he missed Dongwoon so much that it made him hard to breathe. He wondered if Dongwoon was eating regularly, if he was still taking care of his wound, if he was still waiting at the spot that he always picked up Kikwang...

His father would come to his room every night and told him about the wedding progress.

Kikwang would always be quiet and replied that Jinwoon’s not the person he fell in love with.

And everytime, he would get a slap.

It happened every night and Kikwang was used to the pain. He cried at first, he cried and cried for a few days, until he finally stopped crying. Whenever he felt like crying, Kikwang would grit his teeth hard, because he knew that’s what Dongwoon would do. And Dongwoon wouldn’t want him to cry ever again.

Kikwang needed to be strong for Dongwoon.

He had to be strong for both of them.

But tonight, after being locked in his room, Kikwang snuggled under the blanket and broke down to tears silently.

Kikwang missed Dongwoon.

And nothing hurts him more than not being able to see his boyfriend.

***

Kikwang was awake when he heard the door was being unlocked.

He cracked his eyes open and stared outside the window silently, envious of the little birds chirping and flying out there. Feeling envious because they’re not caged and forced to make a sound for their master. Kikwang heard a muffled ‘thank you’ at the maid-obviously his parents wouldn’t do such thing, they’re the ones who pay them afterall, so there could only be a person.

How he wished it would be anyone else but him.

“Good morning, Kikwang-ah.”

Kikwang lazily turned his head to the tall male. He got a sincere smile but he’s just not in the mood. But when would he ever be in the mood?

Jinwoon closed the door and walked closer to the bed. Instinctively, Kikwang sat up and put his hand on the nightstand, as if to warn him that if he get any closer, he would run-or perhaps going to throw the table lamp to Jinwoon’s direction. The latter quickly stopped and held up his hands in front of his chest.

“Okay, okay, sheez, I won’t go any further.”

Kikwang still gave him a seething look but seeing that Jinwoon was serious with what he said, he slowly lowered his guard and relaxed.

“Why won’t you let me touch you, I mean, we’re going to get-ooff!”

A pillow was thrown to Jinwoon’s face.

“Fine,” Jinwoon growled. “I’m here to take you to the hospital. Get dressed.”

“Why?”

“What do you mean, why?”

“Why you?”

“Because today our parents will have lunch together and they expect us to be there.”

Kikwang’s expression hardened and looked away. Jinwoon noticed this. He noticed the uneasiness in Kikwang everytime his parents were mentioned. He noticed the disappointment and sadness in Kikwang everytime this conversation was brought up. Most of all, he noticed that Kikwang was unhappy with the situation but there was nothing he could do about that.

“I’m going to take a shower...”

The pretty male was about to walk past Jinwoon when he suddenly grabbed Kikwang’s wrist, and it caught him off guard. Kikwang sucked his breath in surprise and tried to release himself from the grip, but Jinwoon was strong.

“Have you been crying?”

Jinwoon asked and observed Kikwang’s face thoroughly. He grabbed Kikwang’s chin, forcing him to stare, but the latter only flinched and looked away, avoiding his eyes.

“Please, let go...”, Kikwang softly replied.

Kikwang’s lips were trembling and if Jinwoon was out of his mind, he would claim those full lips and state that he’s going to be his soon, and he should forget about that guy. That guy surely has a name-but Jinwoon didn’t want to remember and moreover, saying it. To state that they will have a new life, where their parents would be happy and their marriage would save their faces.

But it would be unfair. It would be unfair because then Kikwang would do it half heartedly, that he was forced, that it was against his will. And most of all, because Kikwang would be...

Damn, those words were repeated too much.

If only letting go was easy. Then he would let go of Kikwang like he’s nothing important. Or...Kikwang could let go of his boyfriend without having any doubt.

“Why won’t you give me a chance?”

Those words slipped from Jinwoon’s mouth smoothly. He didn’t know what make him say that all of a sudden, but then again, he just had to. He cared about Kikwang, he liked him, no, he’s in love with him and he’s desperate for his attention.

They were standing in the center of the bedroom, face to face, with Jinwoon’s face dead serious and Kikwang’s brows were slightly raised, wondering why there were so many surprises this morning.

“I will be anything you want,” Jinwoon said. “I’ll treat you the same way he treated you. I-I may not be romantic, but I will try for you. I willl give you everything, even something that money can’t buy. I-I’ll pick you up from your workplace everyday and we’ll have candlelight dinners or watching a movie, or doing things that we haven’t tried yet. And I...”

He said those sentences so fast that he paused to take a breath.

“I will love you, so much more, even more than the way he loves you. So tell me... Kikwang-ah, why, why won’t you give me a chance? Why...?”

It took Jinwoon a minute to realize that Kikwang’s eyes were teary and when a tear finally fell to his cheek, he whispered,

“Because you’re not him.”

***

The trip to the hospital had been painfully silent.

The tall male had been quiet-really, really quiet-since their earlier conversation in the bedroom. Kikwang sneaked a glance at him once, Jinwoon looked...hurt and he chose not to say anything about it. On a side, he felt sorry for hurting him, but on the other side, what he said was true. Jinwoon is not Dongwoon. And there’s no way he could love him right now-moreover give him a chance-because his heart just won’t cooperate when it comes to Dongwoon.

By the time they got to the hospital, Kikwang glanced at Jinwoon again, trying to hide his guilt before nodding and got off the car. He stayed still for a moment until Jinwoon disappeared from sight. Kikwang sighed deeply.

“Having a lover’s quarrel?”

Onew grinned widely at him and Kikwang rolled his eyes.

“He’s not my lover.”

“Oh really? But the way you stared at the car until it disappeared... I don’t know, there’s a hint of sadness.”

“Yes, but it wasn’t a fight.”

“Then why do you look so sad?”

Kikwang gave him a look. “I would really appreciate it if we just skip this conversation, Onew.”

“Okay. Let’s have chicken!"

“I’m going to have lunch in a few hours with my...parents,” Kikwang said and looked at his wristwatch. “Which is something I’m not eager to do.” He sighed and palmed his face.

“Huh?”, Onew frowned.

“Things are going really great, being caged, everything’s already decided for you, being a doctor, get married, have kids, geez...”

“But you said that tall guy is not your lover. Who’s your lover then?”

“Dong...”, Kikwang trailed off and coughed. “I haven’t seen him for weeks...”

“Oh? Why didn’t you see him? You guys have a fight?”

“What’s wrong with you and this fight thing? It’s... It’s complicated... I just, I rarely have time to see him with all this internship...”

And with all of these people tailing behind me.

“Well, why not now?”

Kikwang looked at Onew as if he just said there would be no chicken for tomorrow. “Excuse me?”

Onew shrugged casually. “You can always skip it. Since today we’re only helping to take care of the little kids, I could go and tell that you’re sick. I mean, I hate to lie, but I can always put this expression on and they’ll believe me,” he put on his innocent face and Kikwang burst out laughing. Onew’s innocent expression was hilarious. Kikwang laughed so hard that he bent over and clutched his stomach and his shoulders were shaking.

By the time he finally stopped laughing, Kikwang looked up and found Onew was smiling happily at him. His smile faded and blinked in curiosity. “What’s wrong?”

“Nothing. I’m just happy to see you laugh. This few past weeks you’ve been doing nothing but frowning and sighing.”

“You...noticed?”, Kikwang bit his lip in shame.

“Of course I noticed, idiot, I’m your friend, right?”

Kikwang’s lips bloomed to a smile. Of course he would notice. They’re always together at the hospital. “Right...”

“Now go and meet your boyfriend. You have to get back here before he picks you right? And by the time you get here, you’d better be smiling.”

Onew emphasized the last part of his sentence and it got Kikwang to smile again.

“Thank you, Onew,” Kikwang nodded gratefully and began to walk to the opposite direction. He had this little hope and a huge excited feeling that he’s going to meet Dongwoon soon. “I’ll see you later...”

***

Kikwang got a little lost finding Dongwoon’s workplace.

Back in England, he was used to do everything alone, but here in Korea, he usually had a driver so he never really paid attention to the streets. He got no phone, so he got no one to call to. Luckily when he hailed a cab, the driver knew the place so he was saved.

It was almost noon by the time he arrived.

Although Kikwang was meeting his boyfriend, but he got a bit nervous-a lot more nervous, like he was meeting Dongwoon for the first time. A lot of ‘what ifs’ were going through his mind. What if Dongwoon was angry for not trying to contact him? Now that he thought about it, he could always borrow Onew’s phone to call...  What if Dongwoon has got himself a new boyfriend, because he knew they’re not going to work out? What if, what if...

Worse, what if Dongwoon tells him to leave?

Kikwang was suddenly so scared by his own thought and he stopped on his track. He’s come this far...should he leave? Or should he meet Dongwoon, explain everything and face whatever it is that’s coming to his face and leave? He was torn apart between wanting to see his boyfriend or leave that he didn’t realize someone was approaching him.

“Kikwang-ah?”

Kikwang gasped at his name being called out and turned around. “M-Minho-ssi?”

Minho seemed surprised to see him. “Are you here to see Dongwoon?”

Kikwang gulped at the question. It was strange for him to ask that. Of course he’s here to see Dongwoon. “Y-yes. Is he...working today?”

“Yes, he is, but he’s...”

“Hey, why are you here?”

Another voice butt in and both of them turned to look at the source. It was the pretty male-if Kikwang’s not mistaken, his name is Kevin-and he didn’t seem pleased to see Kikwang.

What’s with the awkward aura?

“Um... Is Woonie-“

“You should stop all of this, you know,” Kevin snapped. “You know this isn’t going to work between you two. So just leave him alone!”

“Kevin, stop,” Minho said. “This isn’t our problem.”

“But it is!”, Kevin hissed to Minho. “I’m sick of seeing Dongwoon getting hurt like this! He deserves better!”

Kikwang brought a hand to his mouth. Did I cause all this? Minho and Kevin were arguing with each other, and Kikwang just wanted them to stop. “I-I need to see Woonie...”

“No,” Kevin said sternly as he turned at him. “You, need to go home. And I don’t want to see you ever again.”

“Kevin!”, Minho angrily said.

“What the hell are you guys shouting about?”

Dongwoon showed up with a bag of ice on his hand. He didn’t realize Kikwang’s presence because he was too busy pressing the bag into his lips. And his lips were bleeding.

“Oh my God,” Kikwang whispered.

That’s when Dongwoon looked up to see Kikwang.

“Hey...”

***

Kikwang was brought to a room-he thought it must be a pantry because they have two tables and several chairs, a stove, a water dispenser, a small refrigerator and a sink.

Dongwoon was a lot thinner than the last time he saw him and Kikwang wondered what had he been eating. He was wearing a T-shirt and jeans, and Kikwang noticed that he got bruises on his cheek-it seemed to be old, but the wound on his lip was new. Something clenched in Kikwang’s heart, he wanted to cry for Dongwoon’s condition, even though the latter was tough-he looked okay and stronger than usual.

One of them had to start, so Kikwang chose to be the first.

“I’m sorry,” Kikwang began. “I-I...”

“It’s okay,” Dongwoon finished making drinks for both of them and shoved the glass into Kikwang’s hand. “Are you alright? Did they hurt you?”

Kikwang tried to blink back the tears that threatened to fall. “I’m-I’m not important, you-“

“But you are to me,” Dongwoon caressed Kikwang’s cheek and his fingers stayed. “Did they hurt you?”

Kikwang tried hard to prevent his tears to fall by biting his lip. “Just-just a bit.”

Dongwoon let out a long sigh. “I hope it’s nothing serious. I pray every night so that you won’t get hurt and that you’re okay.”

The taller male had moved closer and gestured Kikwang to sip the drink. The latter obeyed-he always obey what Dongwoon wants-before putting the glass on the table. Kikwang moved his hand to touch Dongwoon’s lips slowly. Dongwoon flinched a bit under the touch he didn’t move.

“Did they hurt you...?”

Now it’s Kikwang’s turn to ask. Instead it came as a whisper rather than a strong tone.

“It’s just another gang fight. You don’t need to worry.”

“Is it? Really?”, Kikwang hated to hear the desperate tone on his own voice. “So we haven’t met for weeks and now all you’re saying is that I don’t need to worry? I don’t want you to say what I want to hear, Woonie. I need you to be honest with me, that’s all.”

“...it’s the truth.”

“This,” Kikwang touched Dongwoon’s bruises on the cheek and the latter flinched again at the sudden rough gesture. “Is a week or so. But your lips... Don’t lie to me and said you just had another gang fight this morning.”

“...”

“Then I’ll be honest with you first,” Kikwang continued. “They took my phone away and I was locked in my room. I couldn’t contact you, they only allow me to go out to the hospital and they would pick me up whenever I’m done. Jinwoon asked me this morning why I wouldn’t give him a chance and I told him it’s because he’s not you. And I can’t stay long because he will come and pick me up today because our parents-God, I hate to say this-are going to have lunch and they want us to be there. So don’t tell me it’s the truth, Woonie.”

“You want the truth?”, Dongwoon’s eyes were dark and it scared Kikwang. “You want the truth about me getting hurt and loathing your parents, is that what you want to hear?”

“That’s-“

“Oh I’ll tell you,” Dongwoon snorted. “After you left for England, every. Single. Day. One of your parents’ men came and beat me to death. Everyday. They would attack me at school. At my small, poor apartment. And everyday, they would repeat the same words over and over again: Leave Lee Kikwang. And everyday, I would say no. How about this for the truth?”

Kikwang stunned. Dongwoon was in front of him, grabbing his arm-it was starting to hurt, but he didn’t dare to say anything-with a fierce look and piercing gaze to his eyes, and he realized, that his boyfriend meant it. “My parents...did that?”

It seemed to have an effect on him to know the truth and Dongwoon suddenly regret this whole thing. If only he didn’t give in to his anger... His eyes softened and he took a deep breath.

“I’m sorry,” Dongwoon said. “Let’s just forget all that.”

“No,” Kikwang shook his head slowly. “Tell me...everything.”

“There’s nothing much to tell,” Dongwoon confessed.

“Please...”

Dongwoon frowned for a moment before shrugging his shoulders.

“It’s just that one day, I guess my wound hadn’t healed and when they came again the next day and beat me, I was lost and unconscious-after that Siwon-hyung found me on the road, I told you that, remember? And he’s the one who suggested me to switch places, to move out from the old apartment to the new one-but I was really poor so it’s all I could afford. I left in a hurry so I lost your number and your England address. And when you had stopped contacting me, I guess it was the same plot by your parents, and few men had attacked me, but I’m a lot skillful in fighting now-“ Kikwang smiled a bit hearing this part. “-thus my friends helped me too, so...”

Dongwoon could feel a squeeze in his hand. Kikwang’s in his felt so right.

“But this one...?”, Kikwang carefully placed a finger on his boyfriend’s lips.

“Your fiance,” Dongwoon said. “Now I know why he suddenly came and lunged at me this morning.”

“Oh God,” Kikwang breathed. “I’m so sorry, Woonie. For everything...”

“When will you ever stop saying sorry, baby?”

“I...”, Kikwang looked down to their entwined hands. “I was just thinking...that if you probably had said yes, then all of this...wouldn’t have happened. You...you could probably just find someone new...”

“I love you.”

“Eh?”

“The reason why I hold on, all this time... Even though I’ve felt so much pain, the reason why I refused to say yes, because I want to be with you. Because I believed in our promise, at the beach.”

Will you wait for me?

“When I asked you that and you said yes... I knew that I couldn’t give up on you that easily.”

Kikwang was about to retort when his eyes accidentally laid on the clock and he gasped. “Oh my God, I gotta go. Jinwoon will be around in a few minutes.” He became panic and grabbed his coat and stopped as Dongwoon touched his hand.

He saw the same expression that Jinwoon showed this morning.

Hurt.

“Woonie...?”

“Don’t give your heart to him.”

Instead of stating, it was more like pleading. Dongwoon was begging.

Kikwang shook his head and smiled. “You don’t need to worry...”

Dongwoon closed the space between them and Kikwang looked hesitant.

“Baby, your lips-“

“It doesn’t hurt for you.”

And then their lips met.

***

The lunch was torturing.

He got back on the hospital right on time with a worried Onew waiting for his return. Just as he remembered-and demanded, Kikwang got back with a smile and a hug for Onew, and the latter looked so damn relieved to see his friend’s happiness. Few minutes later, Jinwoon appeared with a gloomy expression.

Their parents talked about things that Kikwang’s not interested of. He and Jinwoon sat there peacefully, side by side, eating their food silently like they don’t belong in the family. Kikwang noticed that Jinwoon’s knuckles were bruised, and his lips were a bit swollen-Dongwoon must’ve punched him back. He felt like snapping at the taller male-for hurting his precious boyfriend-but then a punch back from Dongwoon’s probably enough.

Then the part he hated the most came-the conversation of how proud they were of Kikwang who’s going to take specialist soon, and Jinwoon who’s going to take over the company soon enough. They had to follow the scheme-even though Kikwang rarely showed any smile, and he acknowledged Jinwoon didn’t smile a lot either.

Kikwang got back to his room, but his parents were probably too happy with the earlier event so they didn’t lock him this time. Taking this as an opportunity, he took the key and locked himself in the room. He felt so tired but not physically. It’s like his soul was drained out. As Kikwang laid his back on the bed, eyes to the ceiling, he wondered how much longer will he have to endure.

He carefully took out a phone from his bag and stared at it with a small smile.

“Take this,” Dongwoon handed him a phone, just before Kikwang got into the cab.

“It’s...?”

“So that we can talk. Keep it in silent mode. I’ll contact you to this number secretly.”

Kikwang’s smile widened. “Okay.”

“Don’t ever pick up if it’s not from me. I’ll send you a text message to make sure, okay?”

Kikwang yawned and put the phone beside him on the pillow. He slowly drifted to sleep, feeling tired of wondering how much longer will Dongwoon contact him because even though they had just met, it’s never enough. It’s just never enough.

Something was buzzing in his head and Kikwang jolted awake. His eyes widened and he looked around frantically before calming himself down, that he’s in his room and that he’s safe. That no one was there to take him. Sighing, Kikwang turned to his left and realized the one’s that been buzzing was his phone. He reached out to the phone and read a text message. It was sent a few hours ago.

It’s me, baby. Text me back when you’re awake.

Kikwang smiled to himself. He didn’t know how Dongwoon did it but he’s always able to bring a smile to Kikwang’s face. Like this, how would he know that he was sleeping? He must’ve been a lucky guesser or... Kikwang looked at the watch. ...or it’s night. He chuckled to himself in amusement.

I’m up. Hi baby.

It was already past dinner time and his stomach growled loudly. Kikwang groaned. The situation outside his room was quiet, his parents were probably asleep, but Kikwang was too lazy to go outside and grab something to eat. Luckily he still got a bag of cookies in the drawer. So he decided to stay in his room, turning the TV on with the smallest volume possible and randomly changed the channels while munching the cookies, waiting for Dongwoon to text back.

A buzz.

I’m outside.

Kikwang coughed after reading it and quickly went to the window. He saw Dongwoon outside the house, with a motorcycle, and it brought him a fond memory. A memory that happened before he left for England, with Dongwoon standing at the exact same spot, planning to take him to the beach. An unforgetttable moment. A moment, that he would cherish forever.

God, how he loves this man.

The phone vibrated and Kikwang picked up the call.

“Hey.”

Dongwoon’s voice immediately calmed him down and Kikwang smiled happily.

“Hey...”

Both of them loss at words, but their eyes never leave each other. Kikwang pressed his forehead and a hand against the cold glass. Dongwoon was far, but their hearts were close.

“Kikwang.”

There’s something in his voice that made Kikwang frowned.

“What’s wrong...?”

He could hear the taller male sucked in deep breath before saying,

“If I ask you to marry me, will you say yes?”

Kikwang froze. A thousand things ran through his mind, but he knew his answer. He didn’t even have to think.

“...yes. Yes, Woonie...”

Dongwoon closed his eyes for a brief moment before opening them back and spoke.

“Then let’s go.”

[4]