Unfortunately, we have to control our kids when they are too young to make proper choices for themselves. It's the keep them from hurting themselves or let them stick a wet finger into the light socket decision. I personally would rather sacrifice my child's free will than have him electrocute himself.
Providing and safe environment and explaining consequences of actions is something entirely different than trying to break a child to your will, isn't it?
I guess I didn't think you meant "breaking a child to your will". I'm not always She Who Must Be Obeyed (only mostly ;) but there are times when you can't provide a safe environment or explain consequences at that very moment (such as when you are outside and there are cars whizzing by and the little one decides to bolt towards the street...believe me, they're *quick*).
I do try to be supportive and allow my children to make their own choices, though I tell ya, there are times when I wish I *could* control them 100%.
Yep, there are still the times where you have to wisk your child out of harms way without explanation beforehand. However, there is always time afterward to explain to them why you did what you did.
I think it's kind of a dual thing where children do need to be able to feel safe with you under your care, but at the same time, they should be allowed to work within some boundries to make choices of their own. Any choice, I think, goes a long way.
Re: I'm still not with the program here...flippedOctober 2 2003, 20:45:31 UTC
The goal is to be more open, yes. The last thing I want is for people to clam up. And no, I'm not that interested in debate really. Debate is where you have something to prove and there is a winner and a loser. I'm interested in discussion and sharing of perspectives. I'm interested in promoting the idea that people should be able to say what they think in an honest way so that it promotes discussion and not factions. Even the ugly stuff. I'm interested in being exposed to other's opinions as well. As long as we are truly honest about it. Bad ideas, even potentially offensive ones, can be discussed openly and honestly
( ... )
Re: I'm still not with the program here...bienvenidaOctober 3 2003, 08:22:09 UTC
Debate is where you have something to prove and there is a winner and a loser.
I have the unfortunate habit of using the words "debate" and "discussion" interchangably. Discuss is what I did mean.
Perhaps part of these discussions then, should not just be us joining the rest of the world who sits around and talks it to death, but to come up with viable ideas to solve the problems. I still maintain the belief that if everyone would just do a little, then a whole lot gets done.
Now run down to your local school, and tell them to implement Peer Mediation. ;)
ok since my attention span is extremely short lemme attempt to summarize this to myself before I say anthing else
world is piss, used to be worse, kill people who don't care enough, they aren't focusing correctly, I'm supposed to be offended, human life is worthless, kapitalism sux, ideas suck when they kill us, control sux, did I say control sux, control really sux, human life is still worthless, it's the old "I'm right you're wrong"
A few exceptions, I think. I definitely wouldn't say that I'm right and you are wrong. The whole point of this is to get people to post their opinions no matter how offensive they think they may be. If anything, I'd say we are all drenched in piss and it would be impossible to be right (if there is such a thing).
Also, I made the assumption that kids killing kids is something we may not want. However, it seems that there are lot of factors contributing to the problem that we seem to value. Values that we continually teach our children. So I may even be wrong there. Killing kids may be exactly what we want.
And yeah. I do have a few control issues. ;)
How do you see your theories applying to this topic. The lingo is a little beyond me, but I think I follow it slightly.
it would be impossible to be right (if there is such a thing).
Yep agreed on that. No one has the complete perspective and the God's eye view.
Killing kids may be exactly what we want.
For the sake of this round of discussion we'll leave "balance of the kosmos" in the freezer.
How do you see your theories applying to this topic.
Besically it's the fancy-shmancy version of the objection to the old "I'm right you're wrong" thang. Instead of arguing who is right and who is wrong we should focus on what people can agree on, and build things upon common grounds. No need for arguing, no need for "compromising," just plain ole mutual recognition.
I like the mutal recognition idea, but wouldn't that involve recognizing the direct oppositions as well? At least listen to them? Validate them? Understand them?
It's bleak, but there is hope to be had. A lot of it.
I must say that while there is resistance to gay marriages, the exciting thing about that is that it is no where near the bloody fight that the civil rights movement was. It's very exciting to see that change can come about rather peacefully.
War isn't working nearly as effective as it once did. Usually when our country is under attack, there has been a huge surge of blind patriotism. You did some some, and the media purposefully tried to play it up, but it no where near had the same effect in that way as the World War's had. People are still not happy about the corrupt CEO business no matter how little press that has gotten.
Wars have to be fought relatively quickly now. We have to go in and get out. Our intolerance for long drawn out wars that take years to fight is really high. This is another really exciting thing.
Women have come a really long way in becoming fully realized people.
True, there are many things steadily improving, but on the other hand many of the issues you directly attack in this essay are very fundamentally ingrained and haven't really changed for centuries, so I suspect that, for want of a better term, toppling them will be far more difficult. Especially where things like business and overall societal structure are concerned. But we'll see =) There is hope indeed.
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Providing and safe environment and explaining consequences of actions is something entirely different than trying to break a child to your will, isn't it?
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I do try to be supportive and allow my children to make their own choices, though I tell ya, there are times when I wish I *could* control them 100%.
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I think it's kind of a dual thing where children do need to be able to feel safe with you under your care, but at the same time, they should be allowed to work within some boundries to make choices of their own. Any choice, I think, goes a long way.
It's a hard job.
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O
my
god
will you marry me?
/O\
(^)
*bows deeply*
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I'll have to rethink my problems with marriage now. ;)
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Anyways, I hear what you are saying, but I think the majority of families are supportive of their kids. At least they are in my world.
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I have the unfortunate habit of using the words "debate" and "discussion" interchangably. Discuss is what I did mean.
Perhaps part of these discussions then, should not just be us joining the rest of the world who sits around and talks it to death, but to come up with viable ideas to solve the problems. I still maintain the belief that if everyone would just do a little, then a whole lot gets done.
Now run down to your local school, and tell them to implement Peer Mediation. ;)
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world is piss, used to be worse, kill people who don't care enough, they aren't focusing correctly, I'm supposed to be offended, human life is worthless, kapitalism sux, ideas suck when they kill us, control sux, did I say control sux, control really sux, human life is still worthless, it's the old "I'm right you're wrong"
Guess what, lil' ole me's been kinda thinkin' about it too in fact, for quiiiiiiiiiiiiiiite some time
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Also, I made the assumption that kids killing kids is something we may not want. However, it seems that there are lot of factors contributing to the problem that we seem to value. Values that we continually teach our children. So I may even be wrong there. Killing kids may be exactly what we want.
And yeah. I do have a few control issues. ;)
How do you see your theories applying to this topic. The lingo is a little beyond me, but I think I follow it slightly.
Reply
Yep agreed on that. No one has the complete perspective and the God's eye view.
Killing kids may be exactly what we want.
For the sake of this round of discussion we'll leave "balance of the kosmos" in the freezer.
How do you see your theories applying to this topic.
Besically it's the fancy-shmancy version of the objection to the old "I'm right you're wrong" thang. Instead of arguing who is right and who is wrong we should focus on what people can agree on, and build things upon common grounds. No need for arguing, no need for "compromising," just plain ole mutual recognition.
Reply
Reply
Reply
I must say that while there is resistance to gay marriages, the exciting thing about that is that it is no where near the bloody fight that the civil rights movement was. It's very exciting to see that change can come about rather peacefully.
War isn't working nearly as effective as it once did. Usually when our country is under attack, there has been a huge surge of blind patriotism. You did some some, and the media purposefully tried to play it up, but it no where near had the same effect in that way as the World War's had. People are still not happy about the corrupt CEO business no matter how little press that has gotten.
Wars have to be fought relatively quickly now. We have to go in and get out. Our intolerance for long drawn out wars that take years to fight is really high. This is another really exciting thing.
Women have come a really long way in becoming fully realized people.
There are great things happening.
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